No, I definitely feel empathy, that's not the problem. Rather, it's the fact the people (not saying it's an exclusively American phenomenon, but I live here so I see more examples) seem to have very selective empathy. Even going beyond being riled up into a mob or us v them mentality. I get that there are people who will prioritize the lives of their countrymen over the lives of foreigners.
I don't get it, as you say, because I don't think a building full of Americans is more special than a building full of Syrians. Or, to be more specific to my original question, a building full of black churchgoers. As examples. Same thing for all the ultra white people at the country music festival. Or kids at school. Or any of the myriad multi-murder events our country has, but seems fine with accepting as long as someone says 'thoughts and prayers'.
A more boiled down version of my question is: why is it only a problem worth addressing in earnest if the perpetrator wasn't born here? Or looks different?
There's a lot more parts to that question but i'll leave it there for the moment while I do other stuff.