In a large room with a black carpet and off-white walls, three people sit on a long couch made for five occupants. They are the Heroic Spirit Emiya, Arturia Pendragon and a man called Lantz.
"Okay, I understand how Saber loses, but why?" Archer asked.
"Enough Archer! You embarrassed me just bringing up the loss. Has time hardened your heart so much that you would ask me to hear the story over again?" Saber stated, intercepting the question.
Archer was taken aback by the pain he had caused her, but the third of the group Lantz just shrugged.
"It's infinite possibilities, you have to lose to Gilgamesh eventually", he said, standing up from the sofa. "Now introduce the format and content, I need caffeine in soda form...", he added, trailing off as he left for the kitchen.
The two heroes looked puzzled for a moment, until they found the correct area of the far wall.
"Er, right. So this is a meta-theater. Lantz is using this as a format to do several things at once as he hates to individualize things", Archer began.
"In addition to posting scenes or short prototype ideas, Lantz is using this meta-theater to answer questions raised, either through his words or by the character in question. Think of it as backstage interviews with the cast and crew in a way", Saber added, fussing with her blouse slightly.
Archer nodded ."He'll also be explaining concepts and certain issues to facilitate better understanding of how he views the Nasuverse and fiction in general."
"You forgot about the part where not just Type-Moon characters can come to comment on or appear in these scenes and the part about mini requests", Lantz said, having returned from the kitchen with snacks in one arm and cans of Yoohoo in the other.
"Mini requests are where the Mongrels in the audience can make simple requests, such as 'write a scene with X characters'. It has to be a reasonable size for the format, however. As for the characters, other than Saber and her Mongrel pets like this faker, Lantz is correct. However, as it is clear that those reading want quality commentary and I, their King am already here to give my opinion, these other characters hardly matter. My subjects already know they need no other opinion than mine to guide their tastes.”
The echo from the hallway was none other than the voice of the King of Heroes and, as the first King turned the corner to come into view of the others, the two heroes let out a groan, whilst Lantz merely took his seat.
"Enkidu, over a table, being gangbanged by Rider, Dark Sakura, Satoshi and Fem Kirei while you're made to watch", Lantz announced, drawing looks from the three others.
"Technically, I only have hard rules against Yaoi and Loli content. I hate NTR with the blazing passion only surpassed in equal measure by my love of transforming heroes, and I have a dislike of heterosexual incest content but, strictly speaking, I'll write the other two if the context or reader request is big enough", Lantz stated, frowning as he cracked the seal of the can of chocolate drink.
Gilgamesh stared at the man. "You wouldn't dare", he spat.
Lantz shrugged and, as he turned to the far wall, he said "I can't sing opera God damn it". The odd statement seemed to say “the topic is over, move along”.
"Welcome ladies and gentlemen, this is the Infinite Road, it's more or less a framing device that collided with my inner thought process. It's like Mystery Science Theater Three Thousand or the Super Mario Super Show. There's this segment and then a scene of some kind and then another scene like this and so on. The purposes of this thread should be clear by now but if you misread something feel free to ask in the thread, questions too but be polite and if you're going to text wall make sure the questions are defined clearly so I, or they, can answer them properly", he added, switching on the TV.
Scene one: God Hand Episode One
Twelve men had stood and eleven were dead.
Archer smirked in a grim way. "It seems like my attempt to save myself has created quite a mess...still...I can't say I regret it."
Archer's words were honored by the attention of the beast who stood before him. A mass of horror known as Neros Chaos, to call it an animal would be generous to it.
It laughed and spouted some drivel about its surprise at Archer's position,
Then, like Kirei Kotomine, he began to monologue at Archer about this and that. Archer had figured that it was trying to instill fear in him, but it was hard to scare a dead man, and Archer wasn't one to waste the opportunity.
Once he found that Archer was unafraid of his posturing, Chaos attacked in his usual way, the outcome of this was so obviously failure that it bears no need for description, if only to save the vampiric monster some face.
Unfortunately Chaos was not adept in the matters of Servants and so his next attack caused him to be caught by Archer's full brunt assault of replica weapons, which exploded on contact, engulfing Chaos and the hotel in a swath of light and pain.
As the six hundred and sixty six lives were extinguished along with two thirds of the hotel Archer knew that he would be blamed as a terrorist. He smiled at that, reputation didn't matter for him and so he could only smile from today's work. He had killed a monster, unlike a human there was no moral code nagging at him, no soul crushing compromise to repress for the sake of his path.
As he walked away from the rubble, Arcueid waved to him, smiling cheerfully.
Scene end.
"So it's not just the boy who gets all the women, it's his father as well?" Gilgamesh scoffed.
"Strictly speaking the point of eroge is exactly that, and I was the main character, after all", Archer laughed.
Lantz sighed. "First off, they are friends, secondly there's a long editorial reason for why Satoshi was featured as a character in that adult content and lastly. And, follow me here, fandoms are exceptionally terrible places in regards to character relationships. Harems are, in large part, bullshit. If Shirou picks Saber then it's unreasonable to expect the other characters to keep pining for his dick, the joke is old at minute eight, I don't need thirty chapters to draw it out, this is why the fandom for Sword Art Online and Love Hina suck. Look Kirito clearly likes Asuna, they got married, they had a kid, yes not physically but spirituality and they faced death together. Hell in the next arc he fights off a crazy mad scientist rapist arranged husband she was going to have to marry. Game over mother fucker, they be all but official.
And Keitaro, that fucker never paid attention to the rest even remotely and he marries Naru in the last volume. You can fight for your favorite girl all you want in a harem anime but being realistic in a story overall if she gets the guy or he gets the girl the rest of the cast is freed of the obligation to that main character. As such, other characters should be able to form relationships, but it's not like that. It's canon only, it has to be the safe accepted people, that's not how life works. If the relationships are believable then it shouldn't matter who the characters are, canon, fanon, original character or whomsoever."
Lantz grabbed another Yoohoo and opened it. "I'm a romantic, both in the romance context and in the adventure sense. I've been avoiding writing romance because of the nature of fandoms and the response I've gotten coupled with the sheer lack of good male characters in the Nasuverse. The whole thing just annoys me."
Saber stood up and looked from the three men to the wall. "Send questions and comments in the comments below, we'll try to answer in a timely manner."
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