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Thread: When in Rome

  1. #1
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Imperial's Avatar
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    When in Rome

    When in Rome

    Chapter 1: Dogs

    “Oh, fuck me running.”

    Shirou didn't know what to make of that.

    He grasped the English of it. Living within the quaint old heart of the withered husk of the British Empire had a way of teaching even a Japanese boy a good bit of English. Maybe the problem was that the speaker wasn't speaking English English. He was speaking American English. Which was to say he was speaking American.

    Maybe that was why the blond hammering his thumbs on the Nintendo DS had received a codename written out as Louisville and pronounced it Luhvul.

    “Oh my God!” Luhvul said. “Climb a wall of dicks!”

    “Bill,” the third man waiting on the elevator said in a breathy sort of way that might have been a sigh in another life. “Stop putting on a show for Tokyo.”

    The three of them lapsed into a well-dressed silence. You would be forgiven for thinking they were white collars on their way to some manner of conference and not a pack of professional soldiers and occasional assassins in the employ of a magical school significantly less family friendly than Hogwarts.

    “You don't like that, do you, Tokyo?” The third man, Denver, said.

    “I've heard worse.”

    “Not that,” Denver said. “The code name. You'd rather they called you Fuyuki, right?”

    Shirou didn't fidget, but he must have made a face. Denver smiled.

    “Called it,” he said with a glance toward Louisville, who had turned a lovely shade of scarlet trying to hold in his obscenities but made no other move to acknowledge anything but the boss monster ruining his afternoon. When he saw the third wheel didn't much care, Denver turned his attention back to Shirou. “Look, they can't go around calling someone like you Fuyuki. I mean, what's that city really famous for other than killing people? You don't do the bling-bling thing, and anyone with half a brain can put together who you really are when they hear 'Fuyuki' and see you'e not throwing down gemstones.”

    The elevator door glided open with a helpful ping. Shirou took it as a sign not to say anything more as the three of them shouldered into the crowded elevator full of the white collar types they would be mistaken for. Ah. So that was why the Clock Tower put its dogs of war in sharp black suits. They could blend into a crowd of anything from top-dollar tourists to penguins.






    By the time the three of them stepped off the elevator, Madrid was on his way to getting well and truly drunk.

    “You look like you could use a drink!” the Spanish magus said, waving his empty martini glass at Luhvul (who had stuffed his DS in his breast pocket in a huff) as the bartender made him another.

    “Yeah! I'll take that drink, you smooth Spanish fuck! Anything to get my mind off that cheap, stun-locking bastard!”

    Luhvul was off like a shot to order a shot, and then there were two.

    Shirou barely knew any of these men, having met most not even twenty-four hours ago, and knew even less about typical Enforcer protocol in the field, this being his first hunt. But he had the creeping suspicion half of these people weren't living up to bare minimum of the job.

    “Should he really be drinking on the– ”

    Denver frowned so hard Shirou could feel it.






    Peter Campbell could feel the other man's gaze boring holes into his back. It made him want to run. It made him want to hide. It made him want to die.

    Maybe that was why the big man had become the Tower's number two in the Enforcer hierarchy. Could there really be a pair of Mystic Eyes in the world so powerful that they gave the bearer an indomitable sway over life and death? He might have scoffed at the idea, had he not lived with one foot in a world the people on the other foot's side wold have called impossible.

    But he also held back the scoff because he didn't want to draw any more attention to himself.

    “Yes, I have eyes on him,” the big man said into the phone. Oh, those awful eyes. Peter did his best to tune it out.

    Not that the alternative was any better.

    The big man, his jailer, had turned on the news, and Peter would have bet good money it was another trick in their bag. Why else would he had landed on just the right channel to learn the manhunt was still on, only to dash his fleeting hopes with the news that an anonymous tipster had told an affiliate station the board would soon vote to oust him from his own company? The ingrates! They wouldn't even have their six figures-and-climbing salaries if not his breakthroughs, his brilliance, his Crest!

    Ah, but that had landed him in this whole mess, hadn't it?

    He had reached out his hand, etched with his family Crest, to cup the world in a gentler embrace, and these dogs of the Association had come to lop it off.






    Dogs and vultures, the lot of them.

    You could be the dog chasing down some stuffy Lord's less protected rival or runaway bride, with the occasional legitimate Sealing Designate thrown in for spice to maintain the veneer of professionalism, or you could be the vulture picking at their scraps.

    Or you could be the vulture. Find the target first, take what you need (generally, the Crest if possible; notes and tools if not) and sell it back to the Association with enough price gouging to see if the bluebloods lived up to the name. Perhaps a carrion bird was not so fitting, given a true vulture came along after the kill, but the notion of the undeserving freelancer snatching a proper Enforcer's prize and the Enforcer-coined pejorative had endured for so long there wasn't much changing it.

    Two unenviable choices for the magi of the world without lineage or talent enough to find a place at the Tower but just enough of both that walking away from the spell-weaving world would be a damn waste. Or maybe they had just enough pride that they couldn't walk away.

    In practice, it didn't much matter because, at the end of the day, they were still beasts.

    Perched atop a penthouse suite in Salt Lake City, a man mired in great talent and poor choices had drawn a pack of dogs to see him safely home to their masters.

    Outside, in the cold, a pack of vultures had begun to circle.



    Notes: Banged this out in about twenty minutes. No proofreader or editor. Experimenting with different styles and tones. Using it as an excuse to start writing again after some prodding from 13uster. Also an excuse to write about Enforcers doing Enforcer things.

    And holy crap this board eats my formatting and runs every tenth and eleventh word together. I'm sure I'll have to edit this at least five more times.
    Last edited by Imperial; December 26th, 2015 at 02:26 PM.

  2. #2
    Queen of Love and Beauty GhostDIGIT's Avatar
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    There are strange words, like andsee, Theclock, and begunto, in your fic. Also this is actually pretty interesting so far. Shirou and a multinational team of magi on a mission of great, or some, importance.
    Last edited by GhostDIGIT; December 26th, 2015 at 05:52 AM.
    Spoiler:
    The Best Thing BlackBlade's Ever Said.
    Quote Originally Posted by black1blade View Post
    Just watch KNK, read fate and tsuki then just never bother with another nasu thing again but continue to use BL regardless.

    Dullahan's Writing Genius
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    I hope you love purple prose, pretentious dialogue and oblique references to Hegelian philosophy too motherfucker 'cause that's what's up

  3. #3
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Imperial View Post

    Also an excuse to write about Enforcers doing Enforcer things.
    I approve.

    And holy crap this board eats my formatting and runs every tenth and eleventh word together. I'm sure I'll have to edit this at least five more times.
    Yeah it does that. Paste it as plain text and that might help. Of course you'll still have to edit things like italics and bolds and the like but at least it's not a cluster of mashed together words anymore.

  4. #4
    Vlovle Bloble's Avatar
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    I like this

    I like you

    Please write more

  5. #5
    Stupid Low Luck Rating Elf's Avatar
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    There are a few formatting mistakes, nothing too big.

    However:

    Maybe that was why the blond hammering his thumbs on the Nintendo DS had received a codename written out as Louisville and pronounced it Luhvul.
    As someone from Louisville, this is all too true.



    https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Jennifer...language=en_US

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  6. #6
    Drunk Anime Is The True Path. Mattias's Avatar
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    Going by the title I was expecting a Nero fic, but this is good too.
    Binged All Of Gundam In 4 Years, 1 Week and All I Got Was This Stupid Mask


    FF XIV: Walked to the End


    Started Legend of the Galactic Heroes (14/07/23), pray for me.

  7. #7
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Imperial's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GhostDIGIT View Post
    There are strange words, like andsee, Theclock, and begunto, in your fic.
    Happens every single time I try to post a story here. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

    Time to go in for another round of picking words apart.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shrapnel View Post
    Yeah it does that. Paste it as plain text and that might help. Of course you'll still have to edit things like italics and bolds and the like but at least it's not a cluster of mashed together words anymore.
    I'll have to give that a shot next time around.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bloble View Post
    I like this

    I like you

    Please write more
    Thanks, Bloble. That means a lot coming from you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elf View Post
    As someone from Louisville, this is all too true.
    It's the one thing I remember from living there as a kid. We moved there when I was two and left before I had turned five. But the accent really stuck out in my mind.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mattias View Post
    Going by the title I was expecting a Nero fic, but this is good too.
    I can see how that would be misleading, but it's referring to Shirou feeling out of his element among a bunch of jocks and legbreakers who don't live up to the Tower's pristine image.
    Last edited by Imperial; December 26th, 2015 at 01:46 PM.

  8. #8
    The Long-Forgotten Sight Rafflesiac's Avatar
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    I like the Zombieland style of Enforcer naming.

    I also like the subject matter, so please continue.
    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    canon finish apo vol 3

  9. #9
    紅魔|吸血鬼 Frostyvale's Avatar
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    That's a fine start.

  10. #10
    Taiga's knight Tobias's Avatar
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    I can tell you how to beat the bull shit formatting. I don't know why this works, but it does. Copy and paste your word doc into notepad. Then copy and paste from notepad to BL. Notepad will remove all your add one like italics and what not so you will need to manually redo those on BL, but it will also kick out whatever BL does to fuck over copy and pasting of your fics.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    The moment the opportunity arises for a pun, the one known as 'Taiga's Knight' will be there to deliver whether you like it or not.

  11. #11
    woolooloo Kirby's Avatar
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    Idk, what I do is paste it into BL as is, switch to Source Mode to show all the BBCode, and then paste the entire resultant text with the code into a doc. Use the find/replace function to get rid of all font/size/etc. formatting while keeping all of the alignment, italics/bold/etc, and then post the fixed text back to BL. A lot of back-and-forth, but no need for manual replacement of formatting
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    there aren't enough gun emojis in the thousandfold trichiliocosm for this shit


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  12. #12
    Taiga's knight Tobias's Avatar
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    sounds complicated, but if you do it often enough, I bet it becomes second nature
    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    The moment the opportunity arises for a pun, the one known as 'Taiga's Knight' will be there to deliver whether you like it or not.

  13. #13
    Preformance Pertension SeiKeo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tobias View Post
    I can tell you how to beat the bull shit formatting. I don't know why this works, but it does. Copy and paste your word doc into notepad. Then copy and paste from notepad to BL. Notepad will remove all your add one like italics and what not so you will need to manually redo those on BL, but it will also kick out whatever BL does to fuck over copy and pasting of your fics.
    It works because notepad can only edit plaintext and strips all formatting, which you noticed. But the formatting is also what confuses VB.
    Quote Originally Posted by asterism42 View Post
    That time they checked out that hot guy they were just admiring his watch, yeah?


  14. #14
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Imperial's Avatar
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    When in Rome

    Chapter 2: Vultures




    They moved as one, an assembly line of fleshy machines. Practiced hands, steady breathing, attentive eyes. They didn't bother to speak, but they barely did that anymore. Theirs was a visual world. Anything and everything of value could be communicated through facial tics, body language, gestures, simple context.


    So they went about their cleaning, their constructing, their preparing. Today was going to be a killing day. They had had a lot of those lately, and it was good. It meant people were starting to take notice and asking for a purer breed of hunter-killer.


    Breed. Haha. What a joke.


    But that was good, too. It made them special. Not strong. They weren't strong at all, but there was something to be said for working smarter and not harder. The maxim had served them well. One only needed look at the trail of dead that had brought them to Salt Lake City.









    “The boss is going to shove a lightning bolt up your ass if he so much as smells any of that on you,” said Denver, shoulders squared, hands on hips, doing his best to look authoritative and just looking sort of pouty.


    “Pffft,” Luhvul sputtered by way of response, slamming his shot glass down on the bar in what was probably a not-too-subtle way of getting the bartender's attention for a follow up. “He's too busy holed up in the suite to come down and schmooze with us pee-ons.”


    “Really want to take a chance on that?”


    “God,” Luhvul said. “If you're going to piss and moan at me for drinking, might as well piss on Santiago, too.”


    That was a mental image Shirou didn't need.


    “You know as well as I do that he's Madrid until we can get the package back to England,” Denver said before wheeling on Madrid with his best I-will-turn-this-car-around voice. (Shirou momentarily wondered if there was anyone code named England on the team and how confusing that would make things.) “What did you do?”


    “A gentleman never kisses and tells,” said Madrid, swirling his sugar and alcohol.


    “That tells us everything we need to know,” Shirou said.


    “Man, where'd we find this guy? I fuckin' like him! But now that the cat's out of the bag, why not check out Sa—Madrid's neck?”


    Shirou blinked. He had taken the mark on Madrid's neck as an innocuous razor burn, but a closer look told him everything he needed to know all over again.


    “Y'know, Santi, you should really get that checked out. It looks infected. Sure she wasn't carrying something?” Luhvul said with a pointed nod toward the hickey just visible above his friend's collar.


    “Woop-de-fucking-do,” Denver muttered as he rubbed at the building headache in vain. “Santi got laid last night. Who is even slightly surprised? Don't do it on Association time.”


    Luhvul fixed his self-appointed supervisor with an arched eyebrow and a wry grin.


    “First off, we're not even on Association time. Second off, you've been calling me Bill all day and Santi...well, Santi. You kind of suck at this, cap'n.”


    “Mmm, point,” Madrid said between sips.


    “You're never going to make management at this rate, Neil!”


    “I don't have time for this,” said Neil-Denver, all but throwing up his hands in defeat. “I'm going to go check on Quebec and the bounded field.”


    “You'll find her wherever Lyon is!” Madrid shouted helpfully as Denver stomped off to make himself feel important somewhere else.


    “We've actually got a betting pool on how long it is before the Frenchies fuck. I'm thinking—oh, shot! Thanks, bar man. Hey, Kyoto—”


    “It's Tokyo, actually.”


    “Yeah, whatever, you want a shot? First one's on me,” he began, paused and turned in his bar stool. “Hey, you guys got some sake for our Japanese friend?”


    “I don't think that's a good idea right now. Maybe another time.”


    Madrid and Luhvul exchanged a look. It was the motormouth from Kentucky who spoke first.


    “You believe what Neil said about us being on Association time, don't you?”


    Shirou felt, and not for the first time, a creeping cold in his gut. The notion of the Enforcers had struck him in a way that left him feeling vaguely guilty every time he heard about them. Almost a guilt by association, as if being a part of their parent organization made him somehow culpable for their violent behavior. But wasn't that why he had joined, in part? To see for himself, to satisfy some morbid curiosity?


    “What do you mean?” Shirou said after his moment of reverie.


    This time, it was Madrid who spoke. He had put the martini, half-finished and entirely forgotten, aside on the bartop.


    “Tell me, friend. Do you know why you are here?”








    Feet of clay. Sal had never much cared for the phrase. What was so wrong with clay?


    It had made his family wealthy and powerful. It had made him something that went bump in the night.


    Sal the Slayer, they called him. He really thought the underbelly of the magi community could have come up with something a bit snappier. Something like the Silver Lizard or Storm Treads or Steel Savant or Zombie Bomb. Nah, he was just the guy who killed people. But maybe it wasn't so bad. You didn't have to spend all this time trying to parse out just what it was he did for a living.


    Sal killed people. He killed people dead. He killed people good.


    Okay, sometimes he just kidnapped them or blackmailed them or stole stuff from them. But he liked killing because it was something wholly his. No one else could look at his freshest kill and say it was theirs. Well, they could try, but fuck those people. Fuck them with a big, metal spike.


    “Hey, I should write that one down,” Sal said to no one in particular as he unclasped the suitcase and dipped his hand into the gooey contents. He lifted a clay-smeared hand to his face and paused just shy of his forehead.


    Sal took one last look at the man in the blood-stained black suit sprawled on the bathroom floor and began to paint his face.









    “To begin at the beginning,” said Madrid with a flourish.


    “Where the fuck else would you start?”


    “Behave.”

  15. #15
    夜属 Nightkin Andaeus's Avatar
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    My instincts say this is going to be great. And messy.

    Saw a few name drops in there. Can we expect to see some side characters on screen in this or will it mostly be Shirou and OCs? I'm on board either way.

    EDIT

    If I could say one thing, it occurred to me today that I have no idea what any of these characters look like. I know Shirou and company are in nice suits, but that's about it. You have a great flow going, so I can see why you didn't stop to give details, but description is still important. That said, you've already established distinctive enought personalities for all the characters that it's still quite easy to keep them organized in my head.

    Side note, I really liked that little bit of sass from Shirou. People tend to either overlook that part of his character or, less commonly, blow it way out of proportion.
    Last edited by Andaeus; December 30th, 2015 at 02:36 AM.

  16. #16
    Don't @ me if your fanfic doesn't even have Shirou/Illya shipping k thnx ItsaRandomUsername's Avatar
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    I feel as if I'm reading the WIP script of a Tarantino work, and that's very much a good thing in my eyes.

    Keep on keeping on, Imperial.
    McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
    My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.



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