Miscellaneous Fanfiction Writing Thread (Solicit Advice Here)

[CG-3m1y4]

B-But I want to include muh insatiable Shirou wank! Isn't there any other way than to kill Shirou?

...Well, making Shirou the 'damsel' for Sakura to save instead would be one, I think. The problem is, I dislike Yui the most out of all TWGOK waifus.

[Sesto]

What's the most intriguing way to write a Sakura-centric fic without resorting to the goal of "notice me senpai" card? Need opinions on this one.

do something post-5th starring f/ha-esque sakura learning how to use he magecraft. then throw in some conflict

[Altima of the Gates]

I'd say it needs to introduce and element that forces Sakura to be proactive. One of the biggest failings of her route was how her role in it was passive and she herself didn't do anything to further the story. Once you pass that hurdle and manage to get her out of her 'comfort zone' (a term i use rather lightly), I posit that you'd find a wealth of options and possible plot lines suddenly opening up before you.

A good example was The World Without, which killed off Shirou halfway through the first chapter and had Sakura take the spotlight via the reaction it elicited from her, as well as Saber's sudden availability and proximity. Shame it stopped updating.

THe issue is that you don't need to go that far when making a Sakura proactive storyline. The reason why she was seemingly so in the background in HF was because

1.) She had several negative entities inside her and was afraid of what was happening to her body, plus people kept telling her to stay in bed when she offers to help.

2.) Her personality is one that excessively worries and keeps her from taking action, unstandably considering the way her life has gone, she is actually quite pragmatic, if more than a little fatalistic.

And 3.) for most of the route, her powers are severely impacted through improper training and Zouken's familiars taking her energy.

Though even with those handicaps, she does end up helping Shirou, like sending Rider to help him at the temple through great risk to herself by getting Zouken mad or watching over him through Rider's eyes when he went to the forest. So its not like she can't or isn't ever proactive.

If you want to work in the confines of when she is enslaved, then of course its harder, but when she is released from those bonds, there are several things you can work with.

1.) She always studies magecraft in any ending where she is free. Hollow, HF True and HF Normal
2.) In HF Normal, she takes Rin's granddaughter as an apprentice (which was strange given why wouldn't Rin's daughter or son have done that, but I digress).
3.) In HF True, several things are going on, she helps maintain Shirou's body, she helps get the town back to normal in that two year interim, she used up her cash to help Rin find a new body for Shirou through the black market Yahoo Auction of magi, she takes over Rin's responsibiilty as Fuyuki's Overseer, and she seeks out a tutor in magecraft who she seems to have even made into a father figure if that one scene in Hollow is to be believed.

I think someone made a one-shot of Sakura treating Shirou's body while he was recovering. I also had an idea of her using her other dimension (ala holodeck) as a training room for Shirou and herself, that was awhile back when I was making outlines for a story.

Several character can be used besides her interactions with Shirou:
-working and fostering her relationship with Dilo, her teacher who also happens to be not just a mook from the church (trying this with my fic if I can not be lazy and continue it). From what I hear one of his other students was some cyborg kung fu priest in Strange Fake.
-what she does inthat two year interim to help Fuyuki post route
-her relationship with Rin or Rider
-goals for her future, which is important, what dos she want to do now that she has a life to look forward to?

Hell, even sports manga esque SOL with her being president of the archery club and being a senpai for Minori is possible if you want to get away from the supernatural.

[RoydGolden]

So, when writing out the latest chapter I suddenly realized that the timeline with the Bazett interlude in chapter 4 is completely wonky. The other scenes take place at night, but yet the one with Bazett (theoretically going on simultaneously) is early in the morning. This is bad enough as is, but it would only become more obvious when I plan to have the plot-threads intersect later on. It doesn't make sense that Gilgamesh would attack the Emiya household during the day where there'd be tons of witnesses, so I can't solve it that way. And it also wouldn't make sense for Bazett to wake up so early after having practically died from bloodloss a few hours prior, plus a night setting wouldn't really jibe with the "early morning antics" atmosphere in that interlude. I could just make the interludes non-sequential, but that seems like it would just make things really confusing later on. I could move scrap the Bazett interlude from the chapter and move it somewhere else later on, but I can't see where it would fit.

[Historia]

So, what.

Are you trying to write what hollow ataraxia already did?

[Historia]

Nevermind. I skimmed the link in your signature.

Hm.

Perhaps just cut the "early morning antics" and go for a more serious (?) approach.

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Ah, no merge...

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Oh well

[naschyamamoto]

Does anyone have a list of all the random overpowered beasts sleeping across the galaxy? Planning a crossover with Gundam 00, and I'm trying to find some sort of absurd monster that's a worthy opponent for a dimension-hopping robot.
Also Lelouch vi Brittania will be there, so if you've got something that way then that's fine too.

[Historia]

Does anyone have a list of all the random overpowered beasts sleeping across the galaxy? Planning a crossover with Gundam 00, and I'm trying to find some sort of absurd monster that's a worthy opponent for a dimension-hopping robot.
Also Lelouch vi Brittania will be there, so if you've got something that way then that's fine too.

well, there are the types

Type Moon
Type Mercury
Type Venus

the other planets + Pluto

There's Archetype Earth aka "Arcueid when on her period"

uhh

not really the best place to ask ths kinda question I believe but I dunno

also, crossover with gundam? what?

[Kirby]

Does anyone have a list of all the random overpowered beasts sleeping across the galaxy? Planning a crossover with Gundam 00, and I'm trying to find some sort of absurd monster that's a worthy opponent for a dimension-hopping robot.
Also Lelouch vi Brittania will be there, so if you've got something that way then that's fine too.

What, in the Nasuverse? I mean, the obvious candidate would be the TYPEs, but little else is known about them IIRC. I don't think anything outside the Solar System had been elaborated on.

[You]

What, in the Nasuverse? I mean, the obvious candidate would be the TYPEs, but little else is known about them IIRC. I don't think anything outside the Solar System had been elaborated on.

Spoiler:

That civilization Gil and Hakuno go to at the end of CCC is outside the solar system right.

[Kirby]

I was thinking of that, but I don't remember if they really have details on them, aside from what you just said about them considering how it's in only one scene or so (I think). And he's looking for, like, "random overpowered sleeping beasts", and I don't think that was mentioned when it showed up.

[naschyamamoto]

uhh

not really the best place to ask ths kinda question I believe but I dunno

also, crossover with gundam? what?

...It's kinda a weird little idea I had while devising a YGO crossover, to be honest. But while I was waiting for the latest YGO show to explain its plot so that I could have a better idea of what to work with, I came up with the idea of Gundam 00 in Fate- there's so few crossovers for the series, and it's got some pretty cool stuff to work with.
Except then I remembered that "no durr, Gundams would kinda stomp on Fuyuki if they're not careful" so I found a few loopholes- Setsuna's always going on about "I am GUNDAM!", so he can literally turn into a human-sized Gundam as part of one of his Noble Phantasms. Heaven knows enough of the fandom remembers him enough for it.

But anyways! The reason I wanted a list of overpowered beings is because as I said, Gundams could stomp all over Fuyuki. So with those kinds of absurd, three-hundred-years-too-early power levels running amok, it stands to reason that a few "overpowered, three-hundred-years-too-early" creatures from TYPE-MOON would come out as well. So I just wanted to see if there was anything that fit that criteria.

I haven't heard too much of the TYPEs, save for some weird stuff with black Mars angels and a giant badass machinegun. Do you mind explaining them a little more clearly?

[Historia]

I haven't heard too much of the TYPEs, save for some weird stuff with black Mars angels and a giant badass machinegun. Do you mind explaining them a little more clearly?

i'm not the best one to ask, sadly

though, if i may, i would like to ask about the gundams "stomping all over fuyuki"

would that be during a holy grail war or...?

[RoydGolden]

Perhaps just cut the "early morning antics" and go for a more serious (?) approach.

I loved the little Bazett/Scathach scene, though. Cutesy banter moments like that ('specially with Yuri) are some of the ones I have the most fun writing. No way in Hell am I going to cut it. I might consider relocating it to some later point in the story though, where it would fit chronologically. I think it makes narrative sense to have a Bazett interlude at that point, but the problem is the way I set it up doesn't fit in with the rest of what's going on, and nothing really happens with her between that and her interlude in the last chapter.

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Also the Mega-Crossover(?) fic that Nasch hinted at above sounds insanely awesome. Especially with Lelouch involved (guy's kinda' one of my anime heroes, along with Ryuko Matoi from Kill La Kill).

[Historia]

I loved the little Bazett/Scathach scene, though. Cutesy banter moments like that ('specially with Yuri) are some of the ones I have the most fun writing. No way in Hell am I going to cut it. I might consider relocating it to some later point in the story though, where it would fit chronologically. I think it makes narrative sense to have a Bazett interlude at that point, but the problem is the way I set it up doesn't fit in with the rest of what's going on, and nothing really happens with her between that and her interlude in the last chapter.

I guess the real question here is what interest does Scathach have with Bazett? Other than her body?

edit: or how's this: either add the bazzet scene to the previous chapter, something like...

"and then she woke up, scathach was cooking her breakfast in only a naked apron and..." to show the transition

and then you can just have the rin stuff happen later that night or something

I dunno

to be honest i stopped reading after the usage of "insert exotic color to describe purple/red/pink/whatever color here" eyes and, uhhh, other things that are just no, as in just no pls stahp spare me

[RoydGolden]

I guess the real question here is what interest does Scathach have with Bazett? Other than her body?

Well, she likes teasing her for one thing.

More seriously, she does respect her as one who earned the favor of her pupil, Cu Chulainn. And they both were helpless to watch the one they loved die.

She considers Bazett's strong-willed personality to be that of an ideal woman, though she doesn't understand why such a person wouldn't be more comfortable showing off her body. A bit like Medaka Kurokami in that regard (and I do plan to have semi-explicit comparisons once she encounters Misogi).

[Historia]

Well, she likes teasing her for one thing.

More seriously, she does respect her as one who earned the favor of her pupil, Cu Chulainn. And they both were helpless to watch the one they loved die.

She considers Bazett's strong-willed personality to be that of an ideal woman, though she doesn't understand why such a person wouldn't be more comfortable showing off her body. A bit like Medaka Kurokami in that regard (and I do plan to have semi-explicit comparisons once she encounters Misogi).

I think she has enough of her own troubles dealing with the card duelists Pegasus sends her way to worry over some random modern magus (read: grown ass woman) with a girlcrush on arguably her best student (read: favorite dog).

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Meaning unless shit is getting real and Zouken or whoever is summoning True Demons or Type-Moons or something strong enough to finally kill her in Fuyuki and is able to leave her duties unattended she might show up, but for Bazett? She could probably care less, as I said.

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Which raises the question of, can she even be killed even then?

[RoydGolden]

edit: or how's this: either add the bazzet scene to the previous chapter, something like...

"and then she woke up, scathach was cooking her breakfast in only a naked apron and..." to show the transition

and then you can just have the rin stuff happen later that night or something

Not quite sure what you mean by "adding it to the previous chapter". Combining the two interludes into one would just make the timeline even more confusing, as you'd be having a whole day pass in one scene while the other events are still going on at night. Frankly, the Rin scene isn't really the issue here. If it was just that the timeline would be pretty straightforward, the midnight dialogue with Misogi succeeding into the early morning bit with Bazett. Logical enough.

The problem is the Shirou segment afterwards, still set apparently in the middle of the night. And it only gets more confusing with how I'm planning to continue it from there (with Bazett and Scathach showing up for the scene at the Emiya Household even though they should have already missed it).

Hmm. The problem perhaps is I'm just trying to cram too much into one night. Even the VN didn't have that much stuff going on in the Prologue. Probably what would make the most sense is to kick the Shirou interlude forward into the next night. After all, there's no reason Gilgamesh has to be making his attack the very same night like Lancer did in the VN, and it would overall be making a lot more sense if he wasn't.

It's funny, even though you're actual advice has been pretty sparse, just having an imaginary person to bounce my thoughts off of helping me immensely in solving this little dilemma. Like, just clarifying to you what the problem was in detail already got me halfway to the solution, I'd reckon. Thanks!

[Historia]

It's funny, even though you're actual advice has been pretty sparse, just having an imaginary person to bounce my thoughts off of helping me immensely in solving this little dilemma. Like, just clarifying to you what the problem was in detail already got me halfway to the solution, I'd reckon. Thanks!

I'm glad my apparent non-existence is of help to you.

[RoydGolden]

I think she has enough of her own troubles dealing with the card duelists Pegasus sends her way to worry over some random modern magus (read: grown ass woman) with a girlcrush on arguably her best student (read: favorite dog).

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Meaning unless shit is getting real and Zouken or whoever is summoning True Demons or Type-Moons or something strong enough to finally kill her in Fuyuki and is able to leave her duties unattended she might show up, but for Bazett? She could probably care less, as I said.

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Which raises the question of, can she even be killed even then?

Card dualists? Pegasus? WTH are you talking about? This isn't Yu-Gi-Oh. Also I'm not dealing with the immortality aspect so much in this fic. I figure that the "real" Scathach up in the Throne is immortal, but this one can still be killed by virtue of the limitations of the Servant system. So stuff could definitely pose a threat to her. If you're talking about the reason for heeding Bazett's summons, then you could infer her wish would be to kill herself. (Possibly erasing herself from the Throne in the process, if that even makes sense?) But upon meeting Bazett, a different wish is decided to instead bring back Cu Chulainn. That's about as far as I've thought it through.

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The lag between me writing up my posts and you making your own makes this conversation rather confusing.