Cetacea
a complete Fate / Grand Order oneshot
by fallacies
At the final confrontation with the King of Magicians, certain truths come to light. Fortunately, Gudako is familiar with the oldest Mystery in the world.
This was supposed to have been done by April Fools. Because it wasn't, I now have some pictures to go with it. Note that the genre is technically mystery/humor, and that the story doesn't wholly consist of Gudako talking Solomon to death.
Archive Link: ff.net
~/{+}/~
Q1. What if he had an accomplice?
It's a closed-circle mystery.
You're stranded in a research laboratory deep within the Alps, six thousand meters above sea level. After a series of explosions rock the building and kill or severely injure the majority of your coworkers, the man who claims responsibility declares that a great cataclysm has befallen the world beyond. Communications outside the facility are cut not because of interference or sabotage, but because the rest of humanity is now dead.
You think he might be lying. Nothing so ridiculous could actually be true, right?
Wrong.
Your immediate superior -- the senior-most member of the surviving staff -- confirms the murderer's claims as soon as things begin to calm down. There is no escape; there is no out; there is no future.
Your sole hope, he tells you, is the path that you forge with your own two hands -- because there can exist only a single truth. The foundations of the Common Sense of Man are under threat. Unless you secure their continued existence, the world that you've known your entire life will be invalidated.
Reclaim the past. Rebuild the future. Deliver the world from the fate of annihilation. As one amongst the last representatives of humanity, it's your duty and obligation to fight the Shadows.
This is the Rite of Succession: The Grand Order.
Carried away by the heat of rhetoric, your multitude of questions are momentarily forgotten. By the time you recall them again, it dawns on you that you've perhaps committed a grave error ...
~/{+}/~
Q2. Why isn't Chaldea 201X considered a Singularity as well?
Contrary to expectations, the first and final singularity isn't at the dawn of the Consensus of Man. It's far closer to home -- in the halls of Chaldea itself.
Accessed with full administrator privileges, courtesy of Da Vinci-chan's hacking, the three servers of TRISMEGISTUS officially designate the pseudo-holographic projection of CHALDEAS in the Command Center as the concealed 'Singularity i' -- the number before zero. Even though the hardware within the chamber should've been destroyed in the explosion that killed poor Olga-Marie, facility-wide metering of energy demands indicates that systems somehow remain operational.
Proceeding with caution, you advance to the heart of the laboratory with Mashu, Da Vinci, and three of your best fighters in tow. Your final companion is a cloaked Servant, recently summoned, but fully ascended.
What awaits at destination is the termination of the Great War.
~/{+}/~
Q3. Isn't it kind of unfair that you only get to take six Servants into battle?
Those of your companions who survived the first wave of demons now gather about you protectively, bleeding as they warily regard the twisting appendages that grow from the chamber's damaged walls -- which wreathe nest-like about the crimson sphere overhead. The King of Magicians paces forth from amidst the creatures, smiling with a maddened gleam in his eyes.
"You've done well to discern the true form of CHALDEAS, Daughter of Eve," he says, addressing you. "In the end, however, this changes nothing. By the Original Sin, the fate of man is long foreordained. The Day of Judgment comes."
At this point, you can't help but smile.
"Actually," you say, "this changes everything."
~/{+}/~
Q4. When the truth is known only to the Devil, can we trust him to tell it straight?
"Sempai ... ?" Mashu asks, looking to you with obvious worry.
"You know," you say, "for a long time, I wondered why Professor Lev would even bother to sabotage Chaldea. If the destruction of humanity is inevitable, we'd all just fall over and die without his intervention, right? It's a completely unnecessary effort."
Solomon's eyes narrow.
"Those overtaken by the logic of demons are wont to prioritize their base-most desires," he says. "Efficiency and necessity are constructs that exist only within the Common Sense of Man."
"'Lev's actions make no sense because the devil made him do it,'" you paraphrase. "But that's the thing, see? You and your people say all of this stuff, and we're just supposed to take it -- as if your honesty's utterly beyond question. How do we know if any of it's true? How do we know you aren't just lying?"
Solomon chuckles.
"I have no reason to lie," he says, spreading his arms. "You survive yet solely because I choose to humor you. But if indeed you wish to entertain this fantasy of yours, out of mercy and generosity, I should deign to hear you out. Come. Tell me why Lev Reinol Flauros would sabotage Chaldea."
"It's very simple," you say. "He wanted to paint a picture."
~/{+}/~
Q5. Who was it that told us about the outside world being destroyed, again?
"Why didn't he just kill everyone?" you ask rhetorically. "He was one of the chief architects of the organization, and Olga-Marie trusted him entirely. If he wanted to collapse the laboratory and kill everyone inside, nobody would've been able to stop him."
"You mean ... Professor Lev wanted us to survive?" asked Mashu. "He just wanted us to suffer, or something?"
"Maybe he was possessed," you answer, playing devil's advocate to your own argument. "Maybe every act he committed was just arbitrarily malicious. If the world is ending, and humanity's doomed no matter what, that's a perfectly reasonable answer. On the other hand, that would make talking about his motives pretty much meaningless -- so let's categorically disregard this as a possibility. Let's assume for a moment that he was acting rationally, for a specific reason. Of the members of the Foundation with compatibility to the leyshift system, why would he eliminate everyone except us?"
"Because we aren't very highly ranked within the Foundation?" asks Mashu.
"No," you answer. "Because we're gullible. Because, as novices in the practice of magecraft, we served his needs as an audience."
"Hoh?" says Solomon, smiling in amusement. "And why would Lev Reinol Flauros require an audience?"
"Da Vinci-chan," you say, looking to the older girl. "Are you capable of confirming the status of the environment outside Chaldea via magecraft?"
Da Vinci frowns.
"I've told you before, Gudako-chan," she says. "Even if I was summoned as a Caster, I'm an artist and scientist foremost. I do have a comprehensive understanding of modern thaumaturgical theory, but actual magecraft aside from my capabilities as a Servant isn't something that I can perform."
"And what about you, Mashu?" you ask.
Embarrassed, Mashu looks away.
"Um ... I've been practicing ... but no, I can't."
"So," you say. "Why precisely are we under the impression that the world outside of Chaldea is gone?" You make a gesture with your hands. "That's right. Because Professor Lev said so, and because we can't independently determine otherwise."
"But didn't Doctor Roman confirm what he said?" asks Mashu.
"No," you answer. "If you think back, he told us that communications were down, and that nobody who ventured outside came back. Everything else he stated was explicitly conjecture. 'It's possible that the entire world is already dead,' and 'what Lev said might not be a lie,' and so forth."
Between her bangs, Mashu's visible eye widens.
"That means-"
"That means," you continue, "that aside from Professor Lev's testimony, we have absolutely zero evidence that the world outside is in fact destroyed. I can't confirm otherwise. Neither can you or Da Vinci-chan." You pause. "But you know, it's curious. There is one person at Chaldea that should've been able to tell us more about the situation. In fact, he even studied with Professor Lev during his apprenticeship at the Clock Tower."
"Doctor Useless, you mean?" asks Da Vinci, incredulous.
You nod.
"Don't you find it odd?" you ask. "Doctor Roman's a graduate of the Clock Tower, but his initial response to Professor Lev's statements amounted to telling us a handful of facts we could've confirmed entirely without his expertise in magecraft. He also happens to be the only remaining staff member with administrative access to SHIVA -- a system capable of observing the exterior of the facility. However, we've only ever seen him using his privileges to investigate other time periods."
Glancing across the chamber, you meet Solomon's gaze.
"I'd say it's incredibly convenient that every other staff member potentially capable of calling out Professor Lev on his bullshit happened to be right here in the Command Center when the bombs went off." Theatrically, you press a hand to your chest, pretending to be shocked. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that Doctor Roman's starting to sound a lot like an accomplice. Wouldn't you agree, King of Magicians?"
You smile.
"Or should I say, Romani Eichemann?"