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Thread: Fate/Apocrypha Manga

  1. #101
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Zork Knight's Avatar
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    I wonder if Gordes' compatibility summon would be Caesar.

  2. #102
    Wandering Spirit EDreamer's Avatar
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    First chapter translation complete! (Note: To simplify addressing the Servants, I call them as "B.Saber" (Saber of Black) and "R.Saber" (Saber of Red), etc., for their dialogue.) Just to be clear, all of this is completely my own translation except for the summoning chant, which I shamelessly copied from CanonRap's translation in Vol 1 (because it's a headache to translate that flowery speech and I thought I might as well make it consistent), though for some reason the manga version has the one or two lines of it that were skipped in the LN version, so I had to improvise there. Any suggestions for edits and changes, particularly regarding Nasuverse terminology, is appreciated as always.

    F/A Manga Ch1 Translation
    Page 1:
    Text: Thank you for waiting! The strongest long-awaited new serialization majestically starts!

    Page 2:
    R.Saber: —Here I go, Saber of Black.
    B.Saber: —Come at me, Saber of Rot*.

    (TL Note: “Rot” is German for “red”.)

    Page 3:
    R.Saber:
    Rebellion Against
    Clarent—

    B.Saber:
    Phantasmal Greatsword
    Bal—


    Page 4-5:
    R.Saber:
    My Beautiful Father
    —Blood Arthur!

    B.Saber:
    Felling of the Sky Demon
    —mung!


    Page 6-7:
    EPISODE: 01 Night Before The Curtain Rises –Black–
    Text (Above): Red X Black
    Text (Below): The Great Holy Grail War Commences

    Page 8:
    Text: The Holy Grail War. The battle for the Holy Grail, an omnipotent device said to be capable of granting any wish. When it is spoken of with the preface “Fuyuki”, it refers to the extremely unique war where Heroic Spirits are summoned as Servants by magi, those who protect their hidden mysteries, and they then fight and kill each other until only one Servant is left. Likely because the surveillance of the Mage’s Association was lax for this small Oriental nation, the Holy Grail War caught little attention among magi until its third ritual. However—

    Page 9:
    Text: In the Third Holy Grail War, which was held shortly before the outbreak of World War Two, several nations intervened, perhaps influenced by the trend of the times. Taking advantage of this abnormal situation, information on the system of the Holy Grail War was spread to magi throughout the world.

    Page 10:
    Text: Along with their surprise, magi began to try copying the Fuyuki Holy Grail War. Such was a testament to how exceptional the ritual that the system built by the Three Founding Families, the Tohsaka, Einzbern and Makiri, was. But, for the past sixty years, the Holy Grail War in Fuyuki has not been held—

    Page 11:
    Text: Currently, subspecies Holy Grail Wars are being held everywhere throughout the world. Nearly all are small-scale and summon five Heroic Spirits at most. Even when the ritual is completed, none of them have ever achieved a true omnipotent wish-granting device—
    Darnic: —That’s only natural. There’s no way any of them could’ve succeeded.

    Page 12:
    Darnic: After all, all those magi who conduct the subspecies Holy Grail Wars lack the “core” of the Fuyuki Holy Grail War.
    B.Lancer: —And that is?
    Darnic: The Greater Grail.

    Page 13:
    Darnic: In the Fuyuki Holy Grail War, the core of the ritual, the Greater Grail, is embedded into the leylines of the land, and then prana is infused into the Lesser Grail, which the participants of the Holy Grail War compete over. The magi who attempt to copy the Holy Grail War can only prepare the Lesser Grail. Truly, what a bunch of worthless Fakers.
    B.Lancer: This Holy Grail War is different, then?
    Darnic: Of course, my liege.

    Page 14:
    Darnic: There is a Greater Grail in this land. The Greater Grail that I personally stole from Fuyuki sixty years ago.

    Page 15:
    Darnic: I participated as one of the Masters in the Third Holy Grail War held in Fuyuki. The Holy Grail War itself ended undecided due to the Lesser Grail being lost partway through. However, by chance, I learned of the Greater Grail’s existence beneath Fuyuki and stole it. I borrowed the organizational power of Nazi Germany, which I was affiliated with at the time—

    Page 16:
    Darnic: Then, I hid the Greater Grail from the Nazis as well amidst the chaos of World War Two, and I connected it to the leylines in this land—Trifas, the headquarters of Yggdmillennia.

    Page 17:
    Rocco: —It’s me.
    Darnic: —Oh, my, my. If it isn’t the dean of the Summoning Department, Belfegan-dono. How may I help you?
    Rocco: Don’t play dumb. You know why I called. There’s a limit to how long I can keep things in check with my influence. You can still make it in time if you give up now.

    Page 18:
    Darnic: Those words are quite trite, but I’ll return them right back to you. You can still make it in time if you give up now. Have you managed to finish preparing the Association’s surrender to us?
    Rocco: —Are you serious about this?
    Darnic: It’s a bit late to ask that now. We’re the ones who declared war here.

    Page 19:
    Rocco: —You’ll regret this, Darnic Prestone Yggdmillennia.
    Darnic: Let’s each do our best so that doesn’t happen. —To either one of us.

    Page 20:
    B.Lancer: So that is a telephone. How interesting.
    Darnic: Quite. It’s convenient, and it’s made the world more complicated. The call just now seems to have been the final warning from the organization I once belonged to, the Mage’s Association.

    Page 21:
    Darnic: In order to get rid of our rebel clan Yggdmillennia, cleaners, magi specialized in combat, have invaded this land. Yes, they are trespassing on your dominion, my liege. Therefore—
    B.Lancer: You’re being too long-winded, magus. Bear your own position in mind.

    Page 22:
    B.Lancer: I am a Servant. Give me an order, Master.

    Page 23:
    Darnic: Get rid of the invaders, Lancer.
    B.Lancer: —Understood.
    Darnic: However— Come in.

    Page 24:
    ???: Pardon our intrusion.

    Page 25-26:
    Text: Gordon Musik Yggdmillennia.
    Roche Frain Yggdmillennia.
    Celenike Icecolle Yggdmillennia.
    Caules Forvedge Yggdmillennia.
    Fiore Forvedge Yggdmillennia.
    Darnic: Thank you all for coming, Masters bearing the Command Spells of our Yggdmillennia clan.

    Page 27:
    Darnic: Henceforth, you’re all going throw yourselves into a harsh battle as Masters. But before that, have a look at a fragment of the power possessed by the Servants you will summon—

    Page 28:
    (No text)

    Page 29:
    Magus-1: Neither the Boundary Fields nor the defense golems are much threat.
    Magus-2: Yeah, what a let-down. A group of this level defected?
    B.Lancer: —Insolent fools.

    Page 30:
    B.Lancer: —With whose permission do you stand there—?

    Page 31:
    (No text)

    Page 32:
    B.Lancer: Where do you think you are standing right now?

    Page 33:
    B.Lancer: —Here.
    —There.
    —There.
    —And over there.

    Page 34:
    B.Lancer: All of it—
    every last piece—
    is part—
    —of my domain.

    Page 35:
    (No text)

    Page 36:
    (No text)

    Page 37-38:
    (No text)

    Page 39:
    Magus 1: (Unclear murmuring, leave as is)
    Gordes: —Then you’re saying that you let one of the invading magi return alive?

    Page 40:
    Darnic: That’s right. I also hypnotized him to make him think that he managed to outwit us and deal us a blow in return.
    Gordes: Why would you do that?
    Celenike: Just as you know, the Holy Grail War is a ritual that first activates upon the Servants killing each other off.

    Page 41:
    Celenike: But Darnic manipulated the structure of the Holy Grail War and succeeded in changing it so that all seven Servants are gathered as a single force serving our Yggdmillennia clan. Mere human magi cannot match Servants. They will serve as ample assets in our battle against the Mage’s Association. It’s quite a feat, don’t you think?

    Page 42:
    Celenike: …What, you’re already dead? How boring.
    Roche: Tch. Like I thought, the golems I made can’t match even slightly skilled magi, huh?

    Page 43:
    Roche: Darnic succeeded in gathering seven Servants to our camp… However, to complete the ritual to activate the Holy Grail, we’ll now have to defeat more than the fixed number of Servants… So we’ll have the Mage’s Association summon the Servants we need to defeat. We let the surviving magus leave thinking that he unlocked the system to allow their side to summon Servants…

    Page 44:
    Roche: Fufu, ahaha. The ritual is amazing enough just by summoning seven Heroic Spirits, but to think double that would be summoned! I’m so thrilled I can’t wait.
    Caules: Damn it! This is no longer a regular Holy Grail War.

    Page 45:
    Caules: Seven Servants summoned by the Association, and seven Servants summoned by us. It’s going to turn into a “great war” between these two camps. This gamble is far too dangerous.
    Fiore: But Caules, I’m relieved that I won’t have to fight you, my younger brother.
    Caules: That’s…

    Page 46:
    Fiore: To realize the dearest wish of our clan— for Yggdmillennia to prosper for a thousand years, that much danger is unavoidable. At least, that’s what Grandfather Darnic must think. —I also have the resolve to fight for the sake of granting my wish with the Holy Grail.
    Caules: …

    Page 47:
    (No text)

    Page 48:
    Darnic: —Now then, everyone placed the catalysts you obtained on the altars.

    Page 49:
    Darnic: You may now begin, proud magi of Yggdmillennia.

    Page 50:
    Black Masters: Let silver and steel be the essence. Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation. Let “black” be the color I pay tribute to. Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall. Let the four cardinal gates close. Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate.

    Page 51:
    Black Masters:
    Shut
    Fill.
    Shut
    Fill.
    Shut
    Fill.
    Shut
    Fill.
    Shut
    Fill.
    Let each be turned over five times, simply breaking asunder the fulfilled time.

    Page 52:
    Black Masters: —Let it be declared now. Your flesh shall serve under me. And my fate shall be with your sword. Submit to the beckoning of the Holy Grail. Answer, if you would submit to this will and this truth.

    Page 53:
    Black Masters: An oath shall be sworn here. I shall attain all virtues of all of Heaven. I shall have dominion over all evils of all of Hell.
    Caules: Yet you shall serve with your eyes clouded by chaos. For you would be one caged in madness. I shall wield your chains.

    Page 54:
    Black Masters: —From the Seventh Heaven, attended to by three great words of power, come forth from the ring of restraint,

    Page 55:
    Black Masters: Protector of the holy balance!

    Page 56:
    (No text)

    Page 57:
    B.Lancer: So they’ve arrived—
    Darnic: Yes. They are the Heroic Spirits that will serve under you, my liege.

    Page 58:
    Darnic: Caster.

    Page 59:
    Darnic: Archer.

    Page 60:
    Darnic: Berserker.

    Page 61:
    Darnic: Rider.

    Page 62:
    (No text)

    Page 63:
    Darnic: Saber.

    Page 64:
    Black Servants: In accordance to the summons, we present ourselves, the Servants of Black.

    Page 65-66:
    Black Servants: Our fates shall be with Yggdmillennia, and our swords shall be as your swords.

    Page 67:
    Text: Yggdmillennia smiles.
    Last edited by EDreamer; June 29th, 2016 at 10:35 AM.
    ~The sage cries out. "Open, Gates of Heaven. Bless us and bestow miracles upon us!"~

    Fate/Apocrypha Translation Collaboration Project: My site (NanoDesu Translations) and CanonRap's site (Quality Mistranslations)
    Volume 1 (CanonRap): Complete | Volume 2 (Me): Complete | Volume 3 (CanonRap): Ongoing | Volume 4 (Me): Complete

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  3. #103
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  4. #104
    The Long-Forgotten Sight Rafflesiac's Avatar
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    Wait, in this manga, the Yggs wanted 7 more Servants to be summoned? That's a change from the LNs.

    Though assuming that the MA might attack them in force, keeping the Black Servants around instead of having them kill themselves for the wish is probably wise.
    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    canon finish apo vol 3

  5. #105
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  6. #106
    Wandering Spirit EDreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Broke View Post
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    Hmm, looks good for the most part. However, do you mind if I comment on a few of your changes? I don't mind them, but some drift from the original meaning a bit too much.

    Edits
    -"Said to grant any wish" really should be in the previous sentence, since it is referring to the Holy Grail itself and not the Holy Grail War.
    -"protect their hidden mysteries" refers exclusively to the magi while "fight and kill one other another" is more about both magi and Servants, so please make the distinction clear in that sentence.
    ~The sage cries out. "Open, Gates of Heaven. Bless us and bestow miracles upon us!"~

    Fate/Apocrypha Translation Collaboration Project: My site (NanoDesu Translations) and CanonRap's site (Quality Mistranslations)
    Volume 1 (CanonRap): Complete | Volume 2 (Me): Complete | Volume 3 (CanonRap): Ongoing | Volume 4 (Me): Complete

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  7. #107
    死徒(上級)Greater Dead Apostle
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    Quote Originally Posted by Broke View Post
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    I'm thinking maybe they should refer to each other as "Black Saber" and "Rot Saber". Pronunciation doesn't carry over into writing, so "Saber of Rot" gives a connotation to an English-speating reader that is perhaps not present in the original. Or maybe spell it "Rōt"?

  8. #108
    Wandering Spirit EDreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quigonkenny View Post
    I'm thinking maybe they should refer to each other as "Black Saber" and "Rot Saber". Pronunciation doesn't carry over into writing, so "Saber of Rot" gives a connotation to an English-speating reader that is perhaps not present in the original. Or maybe spell it "Rōt"?
    I understand your point, but both me and CanonRap concluded when translating the Light Novels that using "Saber of Black/Red" works better than "Red/Black Saber", since it denotes how they are "of a faction" rather than a particular color, and it doesn't make sense to break the pattern here just because they use "Rot" instead of "Red" in this single instance. (Literally, this is the only time that Rot is ever used instead of Red. Don't ask me why, I don't know what the author was thinking.) That's why I wrote the TL Note, to ease the confusion a bit. If other people really find it a problem, maybe it could be changed to "Rōt" or "Roht", but like I said, it's something that happens only once, so I'm not sure if it's worth the effort.
    Last edited by EDreamer; June 26th, 2016 at 08:31 PM.
    ~The sage cries out. "Open, Gates of Heaven. Bless us and bestow miracles upon us!"~

    Fate/Apocrypha Translation Collaboration Project: My site (NanoDesu Translations) and CanonRap's site (Quality Mistranslations)
    Volume 1 (CanonRap): Complete | Volume 2 (Me): Complete | Volume 3 (CanonRap): Ongoing | Volume 4 (Me): Complete

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  9. #109
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LJ3 View Post
    Thanks; so pecking order is those thirty Enforcers, Hunters, then freelancers. So if I got this right, Kiritsugu was just a freelancer since he doesn't really give a shit about being loyal to Clocktower, Kairi is a Hunter, and then what does that make Aoko, an official hunter or that crazy freelancer Magician that nobody wants to fuck with.

    Then there's ... what is it called, Battalion of Krom or Canticle Brigade? Lorelei's harem of people who are as powerful as department heads or are actually department heads?
    The history and the nuance behind the translation of Lorelei's gang is pretty interesting.

    So CM calls it 聖歌隊・クロンの大隊.
    Which the first translation was Chelon Canticle Brigade.

    Canticle refers to the 聖歌隊.
    So calling it Canticle Brigade by itself is evidently wrong.

    In that fashion it'd be Choir・Battalion of Kron.
    Choir referring to how it's Lorelei's choir. IMO it's Kron not Chelon because Chelon doesn't seem to mean anything, while Kron means like diadem.

    So then the meaning behind this group is "the Crown's Battalion" which makes sense because Lorelei's nickname is "The Queen."

    Either way the Choir/Canticle thing, isn't part of the name, it's an explanation of what it is. It's Lorelei's "choir."
    And in Labryinth you don't see the choir part written when Noma references it, so yeah. Either way, it seems like it should just be Battalion of Kron.


    As for the other thing.
    Kairi is a freelancer, not a hunter.
    Aoko is also a freelancer.
    Freelancers aren't lower than Hunters, there's no real heirachy. Hunters are more like part of a private mercenary force the clock-tower employs. Freelancers are complete mercenaries.

    So you have Enforcers then you have Hunters. They're "official" on the record stuff.
    Then you have freelancers who are "off the record."
    Last edited by You; June 26th, 2016 at 11:48 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by FSF 5, Chapter 14: Gold and Lions I
    Dumas flashed a fearless grin at Flat and Jack as he rattled off odd turns of phrase.
    "And most importantly, it's me who'll be doing the cooking."
    Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
    Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
    Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.


  10. #110
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One Zenieth's Avatar
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    Aoko is also technically a part of the school of Astronomy(Or is it astrology?)



  11. #111
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Astronomy.
    Astrology is a faculty in astronomy. So it can't be astrology.
    Quote Originally Posted by FSF 5, Chapter 14: Gold and Lions I
    Dumas flashed a fearless grin at Flat and Jack as he rattled off odd turns of phrase.
    "And most importantly, it's me who'll be doing the cooking."
    Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
    Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
    Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.


  12. #112
    死徒(上級)Greater Dead Apostle
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    Quote Originally Posted by You View Post
    As for the other thing.
    Kairi is a freelancer, not a hunter.
    Aoko is also a freelancer.
    Freelancers aren't lower than Hunters, there's no real heirachy. Hunters are more like part of a private mercenary force the clock-tower employs. Freelancers are complete mercenaries.

    So you have Enforcers then you have Hunters. They're "official" on the record stuff.
    Then you have freelancers who are "off the record."
    Enforcers are specifically the guys who go after sealing designations and stuff like that, right (ie: the guys who took down Kerry's dad in FZ)? Hunters are more or less the same, by job and by affiliation (hunting down rogue magi for the Association), just not as specialized or top tier. Do I have that right?

    And freelancers are just that. They work for the Association on occasion, like hunters do consistently, or just for bounty. Wherever they find a job. Skillwise, they could be all over the place.

  13. #113
    Me, fighting? Perish the thought. Stasis's Avatar
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    The new scenaristic and staging choices for this adaptation are better in my opinion than the LN, especially the way to introduce the context of this new kind of Holy Grail War, and the reason as to why Yggdmillenia let the mage activate the reserve system. It is indeed far more logical that way than " yeah we have 2 super beings able to one shot anyone, our fortress is defended by 6 magi, an army of homonculi and a fuckton of magical barriers, but an extremely wounded random guy managed to go to its most important place, activate the Grail, and go back to his home without any of us noticing anything."

    However, the main problem I have with this adaptation is, as many foresaw...The art. It's overall correct, but some faces are reallly really off. Notably Darnic's at the beginning (I believe it went better later when he got used to drawing it).

    Also Celenike's chest seems to compensate for the absence of women's in this chapter...And Clarent is too small.
    You never know when those things come in handy...

    Spoiler:

  14. #114
    Wandering Spirit EDreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stasis View Post
    However, the main problem I have with this adaptation is, as many foresaw...The art. It's overall correct, but some faces are reallly really off. Notably Darnic's at the beginning (I believe it went better later when he got used to drawing it).

    Also Celenike's chest seems to compensate for the absence of women's in this chapter...And Clarent is too small.
    Yeah, I really agree with you there. I feel like the artist, from what I've seen of his past work, isn't used to drawing characters and supernatural battles with the kind of detail and precision we Fate fans have come to expect, spoiled as we have been by the Fate/Zero and UBW anime. Still, this is the first chapter, so there's time for him to get used to it before we reach the real battles of the story.
    ~The sage cries out. "Open, Gates of Heaven. Bless us and bestow miracles upon us!"~

    Fate/Apocrypha Translation Collaboration Project: My site (NanoDesu Translations) and CanonRap's site (Quality Mistranslations)
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  15. #115
    祖 Ancestor Sarn's Avatar
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    extremely wounded random guy managed to go to its most important place, activate the Grail, and go back to his home without any of us noticing anything.
    IIRC the guy had been tortured by the Yggdmillenia and brainwashed to deliver a single message in a loop, so he only made half of the trip safely.

    I think the only flaw in the LNs regarding this is that "one guy" seems a bit weird.
    Just mentionning that "a small party of survivors" instead of "one survivor" managed to activate the grail's dormant system would have been a bit less strange. Not that it's impossible there's one hunter out there who's better at sneaking than the rest, but it'd have been worth mentionning had it been the case.

    Meanwhile in this specific case I am forced to wonder why 7 servants are not enough for them to grant any wish. Maybe Apo grail mechanics I am not yet aware of.
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  16. #116
    Wandering Spirit EDreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarn View Post
    Meanwhile in this specific case I am forced to wonder why 7 servants are not enough for them to grant any wish. Maybe Apo grail mechanics I am not yet aware of.
    This is a simple matter of Darnic being greedy. As Roche said in the chapter, Darnic managed to unite the seven Servants in one team, but that means they aren't killing each other and therefore their souls aren't being sent to the Grail. The solution? Get their enemies to summon the seven Servants needed for the Grail and kill them instead. Basically, it's a matter of having your cake and eating it too; have the power of seven Servants to fight the Association while also completing the Grail at the same time. Though we know how that worked out. ;P
    ~The sage cries out. "Open, Gates of Heaven. Bless us and bestow miracles upon us!"~

    Fate/Apocrypha Translation Collaboration Project: My site (NanoDesu Translations) and CanonRap's site (Quality Mistranslations)
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  17. #117
    祖 Ancestor Sarn's Avatar
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    Yeah I can understand that kind of logic, but that would mean that unlike in the LN, the Yggdmillenia don't tacitely acknowledge that the "7v7 against the association" will be followed by a classic infighting to determine who will be the ONE to actually get their wish granted. (see: Fran being mad at Caules for revealing too much about her, Celenike planning to not fight the second part and give in to her desires, etc.)

    It is possible the manga takes that way though.
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  18. #118
    Wandering Spirit EDreamer's Avatar
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    Well, it's already clear that they're changing a few details in the manga, so perhaps that too has been changed. Though, whether or not this discrepancy will actually be addressed is another matter entirely, considering how the plot progresses.
    ~The sage cries out. "Open, Gates of Heaven. Bless us and bestow miracles upon us!"~

    Fate/Apocrypha Translation Collaboration Project: My site (NanoDesu Translations) and CanonRap's site (Quality Mistranslations)
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  19. #119
    祖 Ancestor Sarn's Avatar
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    Of course, of course.
    FGO accounts, MP for FCs; updated: 21/05/2017








  20. #120
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quigonkenny View Post
    Enforcers are specifically the guys who go after sealing designations and stuff like that, right (ie: the guys who took down Kerry's dad in FZ)? Hunters are more or less the same, by job and by affiliation (hunting down rogue magi for the Association), just not as specialized or top tier. Do I have that right?

    And freelancers are just that. They work for the Association on occasion, like hunters do consistently, or just for bounty. Wherever they find a job. Skillwise, they could be all over the place.
    sure
    Quote Originally Posted by FSF 5, Chapter 14: Gold and Lions I
    Dumas flashed a fearless grin at Flat and Jack as he rattled off odd turns of phrase.
    "And most importantly, it's me who'll be doing the cooking."
    Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
    Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
    Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.


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