Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: The 11th Judgement (One shot/Maybe?)

  1. #1
    不死 Undead Dalorian Riften's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    New York
    Age
    28
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    87

    The 11th Judgement (One shot/Maybe?)

    Any feedback (especially constructive criticism) would be appreciated.

    Summary: Just a story on the aftermath of magecraft being discovered by the rest of humanity and it's impact on society.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    2021, January 1st Mage Association. 2:02 PM.

    ​Prologue: 1/2

    The crumbling walls of the Clock Tower were the signaling sign of total war taking place on the streets of London.
    No. The word “annihilation” was the most appropriate name.

    Out-manned and low on resources, the faculty of Clock Tower stood facing wrath in full force, anticipating the road towards extinction. Nearly one hundred enforcers are scattered through the streets, clashing against their enemies in means of eradicating them.

    Kill or be killed. That was the sole purpose of their survival at this point.

    An invisible army of magical circuits roars in activation and collides with screams of the deceased in a song of death as it’s people are torn down and massacred.

    Supernatural Warfare. An event to wipe out the enemies of the moonlit world: young and old, male and females.

    A blinding light flashes downward from the high roofs of the lone remain tower, followed by a loud explosion of debris shooting in various directions. The explosion leveled a nearby small building, propelling corpses to the side of the road as chunks of grotesque meat.

    Upon closer inspection, the small crater was left in a glass-like state, leaving those around the general vicinity that the spell was burning at a degree capable of disintegrating bone.

    “Son of a bitch! We can’t keep this up for long!” cried the man. His features of no importance for he is no more than both spectator and participant to this unbelievable mayhem. His breath is erratic – lungs burning from running and dodging the enemies hits like an athlete doing a marathon.

    Surrounding by fire and smoke, the man rushed out from behind a broken wall and launch his palm towards his opposition. A single chant rose from his lips before his hand crackle in lightning. A stream of electricity shoots out faster than the naked eye can perceive and roast the group of man and women from the other side.

    He wouldn’t dare waste time seeing their charred corpses.

    He ran through the wrecked streets with cars littering the ground as smoldering piles of steel. Black clouds blinded his vision as he frantically scouts the area. His prana level is already low, meaning any further use will leave him defenseless in the midst of this battlefield.

    This is warfare – allowing no idle chit-chat or time to think. Only slaughter, murder, and bloodshed. No sane men would escape a landmine filled with destruction without a few scratches.

    There is only one truth.

    Those that wish to carve a path of victory must undeniable become monsters.

    Such beings roar in their moment.

    Do not turn back in fear.

    Only washed away the madness at hand.

    Of course, with such a display of mayhem transpiring around the battlefield, one would think what it ultimately meant at the end. Just what outcome produced from the sheer violence and supernatural spectacle?

    Is it not obvious? No? Then the result leads to one path.

    Magecraft was revealed to the world.

    “Why the hell are they attacking us?”

    His heart beats heavily, and his hands gripped nothing.

    As long as there was a single one left alive, he wouldn’t stop. His comrades weren’t at his side. They were either dead or approaching death at any moment.

    Honor and glory meant little, more worth less than even the root – and yet, human life remains the cheapest form of currency.

    This is reality.

    “Damn fools. They should have at least prepare than mossy along in their labs researching.” He was angry, and none can blame him for it. They were given a few warning days ahead but chose to ignore it, swimming in the pool of arrogance that many have fallen for. Such was one of the many nature of being a magus.

    After clearing the streets and allowing his body to take in oxygen, he ran into a pack of four – himself included. The former group enforcers tasked with combat were eliminated thus leaving them alone to face the fire.

    “Have you heard anything from the other side yet?”

    “Negative. It's been too long since we’d last heard from them. It’s best to assume they're dead… and we might as well be,” said the newcomer. A young adult who is likely in his early twenties.

    “Seems we lost this fight,” said the man. He flashed a bitter smile to the younger one before popping out a carton of cigarettes and lighting up a match.

    “Think they’ll take prisoners?”

    The third one of the group was a woman who merely nodded, indicating that the worst will come. The enforcer directed his gaze at the last of their company, a girl who was keeping silent.

    “You over there,” he asked. “What’s your name?”

    “Um… Veronica. Veronica Belwit.” The girl, ashamed of her slight embarrassment, looked no more than nineteen. She wasn’t an enforcer but a mere apprentice who was unfortunate enough to get caught up in this fight.

    “Excuse me?” she asked. “What will become of the rest once the battle ends?”

    “What battle? This is nothing more than a massacre, a genocide for those using magecraft. They’ll label us as an inhumane monsters and walk over our corpses or experiment with us.” The man turned from the girl and look venomously at the terrain around them. He would never surrender. And yet, even if he gives his life in this fight, the outcome had already been decided. Nothing will change that, nor does he have the power to do so.

    “W-wait… you’re lying. That can’t…!”

    Several explosions rocketed the area they reside in. The enforcer and two of the older members just barely manage to duck into cover, but Veronica is not fortunate: her right side of her body blown clean off from the radius of the explosion. The corpse goes flying and landing a few feet away from them.

    The enforcer looked up and saw the remains of the magus apprentice. Her body twitches with the light in her eyes now vanquish. Blood painted the concrete floor in crimson, organs leaning out of her torso.

    This is war.

    And there are no heroes to save them.

    As the man ran past the flames of destruction into the safety of a building, he used his remaining prana to reinforce his body. He realized that he left his comrades behind during the mad dash for safety and called back to them. His answer was…

    …another flash, followed by a fiery explosion.

    The sheer force blew away and the building and him to the ground. Pieces of construction materials shatter as the bricks and windows broke apart. Although he was saved from immediate death by reinforcement, he did so not without receiving some deep wounds. A piece of steel and concrete blasted in his direction by the explosion completely pierced the side of his stomach, finally emerging from his back. His left hand crushed under the weight of a large boulder, barely able to feel his fingers; he was bleeding from several wounds with a fractured bone. His incessant, bloody vomit told him that he had also suffered severe internal damage.

    Although it took a while for the enforcer to regain his vision and hearing, he completely and utterly failed to make sense of what had just transpired. Only one thing was clear – that the both his enemies and comrades were blasted far into the distance.

    “Shit…shitshitshitshitshit!” While raging at the outcome and fate that befallen him, a sound caught his attention from the distance.

    Mary had a little lamb
    Little lamb, little lamb
    Mary had a little lamb
    Its fleece was white as snow
    And everywhere that Mary went
    Mary went, Mary went
    Everywhere that Mary went
    The lamb was sure to go

    It was a childish story sung in a beautiful voice to soothe the suffering of others; resembling a divine choir, yet pregnant with something of the opposite end of the spectrum. The scorn soaking into the voice was all too evident. Only the end of the world would urge a sinner to claim this voice of an angel.

    Ridicule and mockery finding euphoria in corrupting all remnants of dignity they possessed; the voice of a killer intoxicated by insanity.

    Stepping within the damage sight of the enforcer, the demented killer hums along to her nursery rhyme without a care in the world. Ignoring the burning bodies and damaged property around her. It was a young girl, no least than 16, standing a few meters away from the man. Her baby-blue eyes were like the fresh ocean. She wore a black tank top and blue jeans. In her right hand was a magnum, fully load and a smear of blood coating the trigger. A single look at the girl gave the man shivers. Although he had lost a considerable amount of blood, the chill crawling under his skin was for another reason: the sheer enmity and killer intent radiating from the girl’s visage.

    And yet, the girl continued smiling as if she were a saint. The wind blew her auburn hair out the way.

    “Hello,” she said. “You magi sure are hard to kill, ya know?” Her voice was so innocent that it didn’t match her position at all. The girl flashed an innocently devilish smile in front of him. “All of you running around and I’m over here trying not to get blood on my pants. I mean you people don’t hold back so I can't really control myself.”

    He coughed, letting out an excessive amount of body fluids from his lips. “Who are…you…people?”

    “Hm? Well, I don’t suppose telling you is against protocol or anything.” She licked her lips to ward off the dryness. “You, who are dubbed as enforcers of the Mage Association, can call us “Judges,” said the girl. “And as to why we’re currently wreaking your little hideout is…”

    The wind died down in an instant as both members of the vicinity felt an impulse from the ground beneath. The enforcer felt the sensation of a beast letting loose it’s rage across the land, bathing everything in death. The girl’s expression was the exact opposite. She stared at the sky with a sign of a sadistic glee along her face.

    “Well, looks like time’s up for us. Considering that killing you would be a waste of time now, you can bleed out here or whatever.” She walked away from him, humming to the tune of the previous nursery rhyme.

    The man gritted his teeth in anger. His thoughts lost to him as a young girl walked away, causing such destruction among killing his associates in cold blood.

    He wanted her dead!

    Using every last fiber of his body to move his remaining hand in the direction of the retreating figure, he grinds his teeth, nearly breaking them, and force his prana at the palm of his hand. Lightning crackles just as last time but more intensely with as much murderous intent as humanly possible. A single-action spell aimed at the back of her head. Even if his sight is gone the spell should still be on target enough to deal a blow.

    But something was very, very wrong.

    “And here I was trying to at least be merciful to you maggots. Hmph. I guess this is what Third meant.”

    The man’s blood froze. The sensation of rapidly approaching death was fulfilled. In his vision, a haze erupted multiple shimmering, opaque forms around the girl’s body. His skin was washed with a sudden wave of heat. His eyes, lungs, tongue, fingers, and every other part and sense of his figure were burning up.
    The layers of his skin were melting away, slowly getting roasted by the invisible wave.

    The girl tilted her head to the side, viewing the man being cooked alive with a blank expression and with a sudden blink of her eyes, the area around him combust into a blazing inferno.

    This explosion could never compare itself to any other. It wasn’t a grenade off or a landmine being tripped. Neither would it match a car bombing or a box of C4. This explosion was a result of a miniature sun going off with no form of containment. The building, the cars, and even the particles of dust were wiped out.

    However, if one were to take a closer look at the aftermath of such a natural disaster, the figure of a female walked through the toxic clouds. Her hips swaying along with closed eyes.
    Mary had a little lamb
    Little lamb, little lamb
    Mary had a little lamb
    Its fleece was white as snow
    And everywhere that Mary went
    Mary went, Mary went
    Everywhere that Mary went
    The lamb was sure to go

    Felicia Dermot – 16 – ESPer – 9th Judge of the Ten Kings.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I'm not that good of a writer and considering I love the nasuverse (despite the vague and confusing concepts for some of the work), why not contribute something.
    Last edited by Dalorian Riften; June 28th, 2016 at 04:24 PM.
    Es schaeumt das Meer in breiten Fluessen Am tiefen Grund der Felsen auf,
    Und Fels und Meer wird fortgerissen In ewig schnellem Sphaerenlauf.
    Herr, verehren Das sanfte Wandeln deines Tags.
    Auf freiem Grund mit freiem Volke stehn.
    Zum Augenblicke duerft ich sagen
    Verweile doch du bist so schon――
    Das Ewig-Weibliche Zieht uns hinan.
    Atziluth――
    Res novae――Also sprach Zarathustra

  2. #2
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Hitogashima
    Age
    56
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    13,080
    Blog Entries
    1
    ESPers versus mages? What is this, A Certain Magical Index?

    Seriously though, the first chapter wasn't bad. You've certainly piled on the edge which, while fitting for the scenario in play here ('War is Hell' and all that) makes it come across as a tad monotonous to read. But your writing is fairly good, conveying atmosphere across well and with only a few little grammatical mistakes here and there. Characters are minimalistically described for the most part but it makes sense since most of them are killed off in about ten seconds from introduction anyway and describing them overly much would take away from the pace of the chapter.

    Really, the core concept seems to have a lot of promise to it, albeit speaking as someone with only a second hand knowledge of Nasuverse lore. A lot of questions stand to be answered like- "How did the mundane world find out about Magi?", "Why do they want to kill them off so badly?" and "Just where are all these psychics coming from?". Not saying that's a bad thing at all. Rather, it makes me curious to know what the answers could be. I'd say this could easily be fleshed out into an entire large-scale story if you so desired.

    'Judges' to me brings to mind Biblical motifs (ala the twelve Judges of Israel) so it makes me wonder if that's a factor at play here too. Like, maybe part of the reason these people are trying to wipe out Magi is that there religion deems them 'ungodly'? Though I dunno' what the good book's stance of psychic powers is, either...

    In any case, I'm not crazy over the tone but it's an interesting premise that I definitely wouldn't mind seeing followed up. Besides, you could go pretty much anywhere with the premise. This chapter may be 'dark and gritty warzone' but others could very well be about a band of idealistic heroes fighting off these 'Judges'. Or whatever. It's your story, after all.

  3. #3
    Designated Reptile Draconic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Miskatonic University
    Age
    31
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    3,987
    US Friend Code
    194,434,580 - IGN Ritsuka
    Blog Entries
    18
    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    ESPers versus mages? What is this, A Certain Magical Index?
    Well, actually:

    Nasuverse, meet To Aru-verse.
    Likes attention, shiny objects, and... a ball of yarn?
    F/GO Supports

    I joined two years too late...
    Quote Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok View Post
    That makes me think of Rin as a loan shark.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok View Post
    Admittedly, she'd probably be the hottest loan shark you'll ever meet. She'd probably make you smile as she sucked you dry.


    Oh dear, that doesn't sound like yuri at all.
    Quote Originally Posted by Techlet View Post
    Not with that attitude.

  4. #4
    不死 Undead Dalorian Riften's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    New York
    Age
    28
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    87
    I don't even...
    Es schaeumt das Meer in breiten Fluessen Am tiefen Grund der Felsen auf,
    Und Fels und Meer wird fortgerissen In ewig schnellem Sphaerenlauf.
    Herr, verehren Das sanfte Wandeln deines Tags.
    Auf freiem Grund mit freiem Volke stehn.
    Zum Augenblicke duerft ich sagen
    Verweile doch du bist so schon――
    Das Ewig-Weibliche Zieht uns hinan.
    Atziluth――
    Res novae――Also sprach Zarathustra

  5. #5
    Designated Reptile Draconic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Miskatonic University
    Age
    31
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    3,987
    US Friend Code
    194,434,580 - IGN Ritsuka
    Blog Entries
    18
    I'm sorry. Really. I swear. *can't keep a straight face*
    You can hit me if it makes you feel better. It'll probably help me stop giggling too.
    Likes attention, shiny objects, and... a ball of yarn?
    F/GO Supports

    I joined two years too late...
    Quote Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok View Post
    That makes me think of Rin as a loan shark.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok View Post
    Admittedly, she'd probably be the hottest loan shark you'll ever meet. She'd probably make you smile as she sucked you dry.


    Oh dear, that doesn't sound like yuri at all.
    Quote Originally Posted by Techlet View Post
    Not with that attitude.

  6. #6
    不死 Undead Dalorian Riften's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    New York
    Age
    28
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    87
    Just...just nevermind. Did you enjoy the story?
    Es schaeumt das Meer in breiten Fluessen Am tiefen Grund der Felsen auf,
    Und Fels und Meer wird fortgerissen In ewig schnellem Sphaerenlauf.
    Herr, verehren Das sanfte Wandeln deines Tags.
    Auf freiem Grund mit freiem Volke stehn.
    Zum Augenblicke duerft ich sagen
    Verweile doch du bist so schon――
    Das Ewig-Weibliche Zieht uns hinan.
    Atziluth――
    Res novae――Also sprach Zarathustra

  7. #7
    Designated Reptile Draconic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Miskatonic University
    Age
    31
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    3,987
    US Friend Code
    194,434,580 - IGN Ritsuka
    Blog Entries
    18
    It was an interesting premise, but I found it had a lot of typos.

    It’s beast to assume their dead -- should be, It’s best to assume they're dead.

    They’ll label us as an inhumane monster -- should be, They’ll label us as inhuman monsters.

    You magus sure are hard to kill, ya know?

    Magus is singular. It should either be magi or mages. Even so, she's butchering them like animals, so using the proper terminology shouldn't even be on her radar. She seems more likely to call them something derogatory, or maybe disturbingly innocent. 'Animals' or 'magic people,' maybe.

    And there are a lot more than that, I'm afraid. What you really need is a good beta reader who can help you catch your mistakes.
    Don't give up on this story though, it shows promise. It just needs polish.

    Is it strange that I thought of Dead Space when Mary Had a Little Lamb started?
    Likes attention, shiny objects, and... a ball of yarn?
    F/GO Supports

    I joined two years too late...
    Quote Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok View Post
    That makes me think of Rin as a loan shark.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok View Post
    Admittedly, she'd probably be the hottest loan shark you'll ever meet. She'd probably make you smile as she sucked you dry.


    Oh dear, that doesn't sound like yuri at all.
    Quote Originally Posted by Techlet View Post
    Not with that attitude.

  8. #8
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Hitogashima
    Age
    56
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    13,080
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Dalorian Riften View Post
    Just...just nevermind. Did you enjoy the story?
    I posted some commentary above, in case you missed it. Asking for feedback isn't going to do much good if you don't actually respond when getting that feedback, you know.

    Don't mean to come off as rude. For all I know you were just busy for most of yesterday, or whatever.

  9. #9
    Designated Reptile Draconic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Miskatonic University
    Age
    31
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    3,987
    US Friend Code
    194,434,580 - IGN Ritsuka
    Blog Entries
    18
    I think he was referring to my Index comment.
    Likes attention, shiny objects, and... a ball of yarn?
    F/GO Supports

    I joined two years too late...
    Quote Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok View Post
    That makes me think of Rin as a loan shark.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok View Post
    Admittedly, she'd probably be the hottest loan shark you'll ever meet. She'd probably make you smile as she sucked you dry.


    Oh dear, that doesn't sound like yuri at all.
    Quote Originally Posted by Techlet View Post
    Not with that attitude.

  10. #10
    不死 Undead Dalorian Riften's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    New York
    Age
    28
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    87
    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I posted some commentary above, in case you missed it. Asking for feedback isn't going to do much good if you don't actually respond when getting that feedback, you know.

    Don't mean to come off as rude. For all I know you were just busy for most of yesterday, or whatever.
    Was referring to Draconic.
    Es schaeumt das Meer in breiten Fluessen Am tiefen Grund der Felsen auf,
    Und Fels und Meer wird fortgerissen In ewig schnellem Sphaerenlauf.
    Herr, verehren Das sanfte Wandeln deines Tags.
    Auf freiem Grund mit freiem Volke stehn.
    Zum Augenblicke duerft ich sagen
    Verweile doch du bist so schon――
    Das Ewig-Weibliche Zieht uns hinan.
    Atziluth――
    Res novae――Also sprach Zarathustra

  11. #11
    Designated Reptile Draconic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Miskatonic University
    Age
    31
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    3,987
    US Friend Code
    194,434,580 - IGN Ritsuka
    Blog Entries
    18
    Hi again. Anyway, good luck moving forward.
    Likes attention, shiny objects, and... a ball of yarn?
    F/GO Supports

    I joined two years too late...
    Quote Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok View Post
    That makes me think of Rin as a loan shark.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hymn of Ragnarok View Post
    Admittedly, she'd probably be the hottest loan shark you'll ever meet. She'd probably make you smile as she sucked you dry.


    Oh dear, that doesn't sound like yuri at all.
    Quote Originally Posted by Techlet View Post
    Not with that attitude.

  12. #12
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Hitogashima
    Age
    56
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    13,080
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Dalorian Riften View Post
    Was referring to Draconic.
    I knew that. But I'm stil wondering why you haven't gotten back on my feedback.

  13. #13
    不死 Undead Dalorian Riften's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    New York
    Age
    28
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    87
    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I knew that. But I'm stil wondering why you haven't gotten back on my feedback.
    Was knock-out during the time. Sorry
    Es schaeumt das Meer in breiten Fluessen Am tiefen Grund der Felsen auf,
    Und Fels und Meer wird fortgerissen In ewig schnellem Sphaerenlauf.
    Herr, verehren Das sanfte Wandeln deines Tags.
    Auf freiem Grund mit freiem Volke stehn.
    Zum Augenblicke duerft ich sagen
    Verweile doch du bist so schon――
    Das Ewig-Weibliche Zieht uns hinan.
    Atziluth――
    Res novae――Also sprach Zarathustra

  14. #14
    不死 Undead Dalorian Riften's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    New York
    Age
    28
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    87
    Prologue: 2/2
    2021, January 1st Mage Association. 2:15 PM.

    A miniature army of at least half a dozen familiars repeatedly failed to bring down a lone man. Or in other words, the male was the one bringing devastation to the army of familiars.

    In the center of this chaotic maelstrom stands a man towering over the group with a bored yet intimidating expression. Under his peerless clothing stretched a body and mind of steel trained to the utmost limit. He wore a skin-tight shirt underneath a large blue overcoat with a cross on his back. Muscles bulged through the cotton, showcasing the result of never-ending combat over the years.

    Orange eyes pierce through the familiars, allowing him to get a direct line of sight towards their masters. Ebony hair laid flat against his forehead with sweat dripping from his pores.

    He carried no blunt or blades tools alongside himself – completely unarmed and seen as vulnerable.

    He was not.

    Using nothing but the knuckles of his fist, the towering giant cracked and crushed the various bodies of those seeking to kill him. Each strike never needing a follow-up. Multiple golems formed earlier attempted to overwhelm him in numbers, but it made no difference. Using his immense strength, the brawler punches through the ground beneath, causing a massive quake.

    The foundation of the floor became undone by his might. The golems that fell was crush by the huge pieces of the concrete launched at them from its descent; their masters felt no better due to it.

    A series of strike commence from a pack of dead wolves. They were abnormal in size for an average animal, and the stench of blood lust came full throttle.

    The man kissed his fist before moving to greet the dead with death.

    The outcome was the same as before.

    An unstoppable force that knows no bound. Never to fall or crumble under the weight of his enemies. If you were to consider the familiars as vehicles than imagine the effect of having them drive into a mountain. Aye, ’is a monster – a man-sized mountain. No matter how one looks at it, the man was a monstrosity exceeding the boundaries of mere humans.

    “Fire everything! Don’t let him move any forward!” shouted from one of the scared mages. Men stood farther back with their clothes in pathetic states. Never have they ever felt more grateful leaving earlier than other before the attack. And yet, such excitement for freedom was made null for they ran into “him.”

    This mountain of a man has yet to evade a single one of the attacks aimed at him. Even after receiving countless hits from various spells, his body remains unscathed. However, that was only natural. For those, unfortunately, to cross his sight meant they need to be eliminated. He was a juggernaut that would relentlessly pursue his prey till the end of the world.

    His stomps signal warning bells in the mages mind. Their fear took over them and soon enough they ran, no longer caring for their familiars or each other for that matter.

    The man lets out a deep sigh. His overflowing will melting the surrounding rubble to toxic waste, and blasts it far as the air itself boils. The energies concentrated in the mountain’ fists create refraction, causing his very visage to distort. He saw them run and with an intake of breath, allowed himself to take critical aim before reeling back his arms.

    Just as the man was about to invoke destruction, his fierce heat dispersed once again, almost as if something had ruined his mood. Perhaps he thought the panicking Magus, having lost their morale, were barely worth killing.

    Did the Magus escape with their lives intact?

    No.

    That most certainly wasn’t the case.

    Τολμάτε τρέχει από τις δυνάμεις μου!

    If one is to consider that giant a hunter than the words spoken came from that of a wild huntress. Invisible waves made from a sonic screech tears through the air and bisected the running mages. Their blood hits the flooring like spilled paint. He stares at the body for a few seconds before directing his gaze the side.

    “Such a boring event. How little and weak they are. These individuals were said to walk close to death but instead they run from it. Hypocrites.” Coming from the nearby shadows was a woman, mid – thirties, wearing a similar attire to the man. Her crimson air laid in a single braid behind her back. It is uncertain for how long the woman had been standing in the darkness, hiding for the perfect opportunity. Her tone grim and without joy, her dark visage crimson, her swaying hair the color of fresh blood.

    “Silence again, Eighth? Your status as a statue has never been truer,” she said. Gracefully toying with her fingernails, the woman posed the question to the man. No answer is heard. “It matters not. By the way… don’t tell me you were trying holding back? Once your blood starts pumping, you cannot help but kill everything in sight, correct? If so, I too have the same mindset alongside you.”

    Her monologue could just as easily be mistaken for a maniac craving for blood on a full moon.

    “This battle is no longer needed. You heard it, didn’t you? The calling has commenced, and all that is left is to clean up the mess. Take pause while I c...”

    “Tenth.” Eight’s lips parted for the first time since the attack has started. "Where is Second?”

    “May I ask what business is needed for you to converse with him?”

    Silence, once again. The man does not answer. The woman narrowed her eyes, her gaze heavy with suspicion, followed by a sigh of annoyance. This was usual when being around him.

    “No answer? I swear silent-types like you are too bothersome for my taste,” she said, licking her lips while viewing the chaos as a screenplay. “Don’t bother telling me you want to fight him. With your ability, he’ll kill you with ease. That man is untouchable as well as being the close friend of First.”

    “I have no such thoughts.”

    “Of course, you don’t. It’d be wasteful trying to replace you anyway.”

    Such dry humor was not fitting for this setting, yet both of them seem at ease around one another. After all, what husband and wife wouldn't appreciate each other’s company?

    Tenth looked at the skies while breathing in the ashes of their victims. A signal under the guise of a bell went off in both members ears. The ringing rattles their brain, but neither participants showed any signs of discomfort. It was natural for them since it is one of many times it had to happen.

    “About time. Seems Third is readying for the last phase.”

    “Then should I cook us dinner for tonight after this is over?”

    “Nah. You’d only be spoiling me.”

    Tenth showed the vaguest hint of a smile adorned on her face before walking past her husband. The giant followed her. Both mates trench through the chaos around them, not bothered by such brutality while crushing those in their path.

    “Well. It seems the rest made it in time after all.” Tenth pointed the center of the area where six individuals stood. Each person was unique. Each person radiated an authority of absolute power. Up in the black sky, tainted by blood and fire. Taking form using the flames of the capital, two enormous figures appears.

    Is it not a glorious day, my Kings? The beauty and destruction are but a sign of a triumph. Take pause and looked upon those around you! Look at them and judge them with might!

    Truth and Lies.

    Fault in victory.

    Such words are spoken from the being above ooze with sorcery, unlike others. Each word carried weight – those on the ground licking their wounds, and those of the Kings listen as though hypnotize. Each person in the city lifted their gaze towards a particular part of the sky. There laid the two beings overseeing the chaos transpiring over the dissemination of the Clock Tower.

    His locks like a mane bathe in green. His skin dark in tone. The gaze of the supreme ruler supervises the universe from up above. It was of brilliance surpassing humanity itself; beauty mingling with dark solemnity — yet at the very same time, beastly. A being outside the realm of mankind denied existence by saner minds; the king of the hateful light.

    At his side, a man twisting as the darkest of shadows. His youthful body glimmering in the dull, vague colors of the recluse. A black to his white. The two of them, surpassing in power all those gazing up at their visage: demigods among magi, titans among small men.

    The First and Second of the Kings – Prime One and Evolution, who leads the Kings in the annihilation of the Moonlit world.

    Gazing down at them - no, the entire world, the man began his speech.

    “Fellow Magi. Hear my call and listen to my decree. You who lived your life in secrecy has now been discovered.” His purple eyes narrowed at the ants skittering around the destroyed labyrinth called London.

    “Your magecraft holds no authority over us. False miracles brought forth through our world has no meaning – its nature disgust me. We are human. We are superior to all life on this planet. Your misguided attempts are nothing more than a nuisance.”

    “You who seek the root will meet through death. Such trash – vile, disgusting, and pathetic. The natural course of Gaia’s law is for us to break from them. We will ascend past this world that wishes to kill us.”

    His grim proclamation breached all souls.

    Equal to dragons and phantasm beasts from legends of old, his voice carried a tremendously supreme quality that penetrated the minds of all that listened. He gives the final testament to his actions.

    “Bear your crown my Kings. This will be their last requiem.”

    If you wished to live, then run.

    If you wanted to die, then run.

    There will no place to hide anymore. No hideout nor lab will go without a look. The world – no, humanity has finally acknowledged the existence of the false miracles known as Magecraft.

    The other man, having been quiet for so long, spoken.

    “Is that what you desire, First?”

    “A foolish question. The destruction and transcendence of Gaia’s law. Although, I do have a more personal reason in mind.”

    Second gave an elegant look before bearing a curious expression. “By all means, would you be willing to spill your personal grudge?”

    “The ones who are born ignorant of their place.”

    “Oh… it seems you’re referring to the twenty-seven. In that case, do you think you have the will and power to challenge them all?”

    “No. However should humanity surpass itself then surely the time of reckoning will come.”

    Looking down at the hell stretching below their gaze, they exchanged words with the tone of thoughtful players in a game of wits. Their actions not merely the result of a frozen heart; rather, they were worn down by the era itself. The Kings nodded at them, knowing well that "wish" is an order. All the pieces scattered, cleaning up the mess and taking out the putrid trash festering their world. For today is the time for the Age of the Supernatural World to fear the normality of man.

    They evaporated into dust by which corners of the earth they disappeared to if they indeed existed at all, remains an unsolved mystery.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    AN: Well that's the end for the prologue.
    Last edited by Dalorian Riften; July 1st, 2016 at 09:04 AM. Reason: Fixing minor Grammar mistakes
    Es schaeumt das Meer in breiten Fluessen Am tiefen Grund der Felsen auf,
    Und Fels und Meer wird fortgerissen In ewig schnellem Sphaerenlauf.
    Herr, verehren Das sanfte Wandeln deines Tags.
    Auf freiem Grund mit freiem Volke stehn.
    Zum Augenblicke duerft ich sagen
    Verweile doch du bist so schon――
    Das Ewig-Weibliche Zieht uns hinan.
    Atziluth――
    Res novae――Also sprach Zarathustra

  15. #15
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Hitogashima
    Age
    56
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    13,080
    Blog Entries
    1
    Holy shit, these 'Judges' are hardcore! Not only are they stomping all over Mages but by that last bit, they're even planning to take out the DA ancestors? (I take it that's what was meant by 'the 27')

    I'm really liking where this fic is going. I like the sense of mystery surrounding the antagonists (at first I thought they were just psychics, but now they seem a whole lot more...) and the introduction of the major villain(s) at the end was superb. I'm a sucker for that kind of melodramatic Chuuni stuff (I can see you're inspired by Dies Irae).

    Albeit, the grammar still needs work in areas (like 'known no bound' instead of 'knows no bound' or 'knew no bound'). Other then that, I like this a lot. Hope you continue. Now that (some of) the hax main villains have been introduced, I wanna' know who our heroes are!

  16. #16
    不死 Undead Dalorian Riften's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    New York
    Age
    28
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    87
    I'll edit the changes later on. I admit I do love some Chuuni stuff every now and then but these guys are something else entirely but they are indeed psychics.
    Also can't wait for the anime next year for Dies Irae.
    Es schaeumt das Meer in breiten Fluessen Am tiefen Grund der Felsen auf,
    Und Fels und Meer wird fortgerissen In ewig schnellem Sphaerenlauf.
    Herr, verehren Das sanfte Wandeln deines Tags.
    Auf freiem Grund mit freiem Volke stehn.
    Zum Augenblicke duerft ich sagen
    Verweile doch du bist so schon――
    Das Ewig-Weibliche Zieht uns hinan.
    Atziluth――
    Res novae――Also sprach Zarathustra

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •