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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #4761
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Anyways, my next batch (when I get around to them) is probably gonna be a few remakes but beforehand here is my take on a figure Royd did a genderbend of a ways back.

    Not bothering with the Key Words/Craft Essences section this time around with this dork.

    =============


    Source: (X)

    Servant: Rider
    Other Classes: Archer
    True Name: Marco Polo
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Place of Origin: Republic of Venice

    Parameters:

    STR: C
    END: C
    AGI: B
    MGI: D
    LCK: A
    NP: B

    Height: 165cm
    Weight: 57kg
    Likes: Exploring
    Dislikes: People fact checking his stories
    Talent: Telling tall tales
    Natural Enemy: Kubali Khan, Khutulun
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Human
    Armament: Swords, Cheep tracksuit

    Class Skills:
    Riding: A
    A skill denoting the ability to ride mounts. All vehicles and all creatures but those of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast-rank can be used as mounts. This rank is high enough to have aptitude for the Rider Class. He claims he holds a high rank for various reasons but chances are that he's lying.

    Personal Skills:

    Chinese Martial Arts (False): A
    A Chinese rationality. A value that measures one's mastery of the martial arts that made becoming one with the universe as its objective. Its learning difficulty is of the highest level and, unlike other Skills, it is at A Rank that one is at a level where one is said to have finally "learned it" Rider was able to pick up a fair amount from his travels and combine multiple forms from what he witnessed into his own "school" of martial arts with a mixture of kung-fu, Mongolian wrestling and Japanese swordplay. The sheer unpredictability of his attacks is just as deadly as his actual talent in the field. However his training was never completed in any of these arts, thus he will never be able to truly call himself a master.

    Deception: B

    A skill that allows one to cover one's own intentions through usage of mannerisms, accents, speech patterns and subconscious habits. At this rank, he can spin long and complex lies that could fool nearly anyone. However his elaborate tales tend to fall apart when someone who was present to the actual event is there to fact check him or possesses damming physical evidence to contradict him.

    Item Construction: C+

    Typically a Caster-class Skill. It is the Skill to manufacture magical items, from implements of war to items for daily use. Also, this Skill requires time to gather components and manufacture items. In the case of Rider, the works he creates are not magical put are purely mechanical. He is quite adept at constructing trebuchets, as bringing one forth would be his primary Noble Phantasm under the Archer class. It should be noted that although he can construct such large weapons, he must obtain ammunition for them separately as they're mostly useless without projectiles unless he fires himself.

    Marco Polo: A
    A skill based on water sport. Due to the sport and skill being named after him, Rider possesses a high rank available despite having no other connection. When he is in contact with water, physical and magical power increases alongside his reaction time. In addition he gains an ability similar to that of "Instinct" to deduce the best possible course of action. Naturally he uses this ability to become the World Champion of… Beach Volleyball? When is the next summer event?

    Noble Phantasm

    Silk Road
    Culture and Trade Network


    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
    Rank: B
    Range: 100 (Effectively)
    Max Targets: 1

    The Silk Road was a combination of trade routes throughout Asia which allowed for culture and goods to be exchanged across nations and was one of the first steps toward globalisation. The network that connects the east to the west is a central part of Rider's legend, even though he held no semblance of ownership of it.

    Manifesting as a passive Noble Phantasm, it allows him to reduce the time to travel between his effective location and a desired point to Zero without affecting the actual distance. Effectively he is able to use Spatial Transportation at will, vanishing and reappearing in a flash of mist. The strain varies; he is able to move himself instantly anywhere within 100 meters rapidly and with minimal cost - allowing him to evade automatic fire, rockets and other projectiles should he be aware of them, however outside that effective range the mana cost jumps significantly and drains him faster.

    Due to the Silk Road being his preferred method of transport, he is essentially his own mount as a rider and functions in combat almost closer to that of an Assassin. Weird.


    Lore

    A travelling merchant through and through. Originally a citizen of Venice, he grew up with his father and uncle where he learned the trade of a merchant and was well educated.

    As a part of his families journey to china, he entered the court of Kubali where he enjoyed his time in the Mongolian court while travelling across all of Asia. Only Marco Polo himself can verify what happened for the parts he was the only key player and in his book he famously said that he had not written half of what he had seen, he claims that he seduced many women, fought in battles, became a strategic mind and many other things. However Polo is a notorious - but convincing - liar who exaggerates every detail and always puts the spotlight on himself so there is only so much we can know to be truthful.

    Unlike his tales, he died a dull and mediocre death, confined in his bed due to illness.

    Personality

    A young man, talented wordsmith and shrewd businessman. Whimsical in nature and a merchant by trade, he's always found where there are good deals to be made. Although more than a little willing to use shady tactics to make a sale, he will only go so far for profit. His prices would probably not be any cheaper than Da Vinci~Chan's though.

    Rider is incredibly boastful and tends to exaggerate most details needlessly, bordering the point of a pathological liar. He cares not for rules but obeys them when it suits him. He is highly respectful of Kubali Khan and Khutulun but they are not free from his tall tales. He often says that alongside inventing the trebuchet (which he didn't) he was Kubali's greatest warrior and favourite drinking buddy and that he seduced Khutulun and bedded her regardless of her rule of besting her in combat - which he did anyways but did never marry her (which is complete garbage, Kubali found him an entertaining distraction while interaction with Khutulun was minimal and he could never beat her in a straight up fight). Should he meet the two, he will immediately try sucking up to them and vanishing when it all goes south.

    Regarding his wish, it is near impossible to deduce, given he gives a different desire every time.

    Relationships:

    King Hassan/Edmond Dantes: Wow! You move just like I do! Wait, why are you looking at me like that?

    Kublai Khan/Khutulun: Greetings. Wonderful see see that such esteemed goldy beings such as… What? The story I told yesterday… Ah shit.

    Li Shuwen: Your technique is incredible! Please teach me! I promise to write a chapter about you in my next book.
    Last edited by Bird of Hermes; July 28th, 2017 at 04:20 PM.

  2. #4762
    夜属 Nightkin Hakuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    @Nimrod: Haruko, I've seen a few takes on this dude and always thought of doing one myself. Its mute now as your version is probably the best I've seen, or at least my personal favourite.
    That comment really made my ego shine.

    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    Nimrod: Maybe the best Nimrod. All Noble Phantasms are legitimately great. Malakhim Ratsach is pretty great, but i feel like you could sell the creepy blood effect better. I'm was also hoping that you expanded more in that concept. It might look at times but i'm a fan of giving a small number of skills to your sheets, but i feel like Nimrod has maybe not enough skills going for him.
    Thanks for the feedback! Answering the two comments:

    About Malakhim Ratsach: The first effect I could think was "increasing damage against gods, angels and other divine figures", but that was covered by his Hubris of the King skill. The current effect was a recent thought of mine (thought of it two days ago, considering I've been building this Nimrod since Christmas).


    About the concept of the NP. While researching anything Nimrod had with bow and arrows I thought that in some legends he did shoot arrows to sky and they returned covered in blood. The initial plan was making them being transported by Marduk to the Heavens, covering it in divine blood, and sending it back. The concept still remains, but instead of Marduk, I'd say "an unknown heretic god". Since I made Nimrod evil and I'd consider Marduk good, I removed it from the concept. Still, this is all unknown to Nimrod, because if he knew that his NP are only usable because a God is helping him, he would be really really really mad.


    And about Skills, I spend so much time on the NP that when I was writting the sheet I realized I didn't thought on the Skills lol. I had more Skills I'd give to him, Item Construction or Item Construction (False) for him making "magic clay" to the construction of Tower of Babel, but I thought it would be a useless Skill and not much interesting. And Hubris of The King was meant to be two Skills, Charisma (False), a Skill I made for my Diomedes, plus a new Skill to the effect against Kings and Gods. I accept suggestions of Skill, for I have no idea for a new Skill for Nimrod. (Maybe a "Original Language" Skill, I could give him and add it to my old Enoch sheet as well).

    -----------------

    Edit: If Marco Polo has a Swimsuit Summer Event Skill does he have a Speedo variant?
    Last edited by Hakuro; February 27th, 2017 at 05:14 PM.

  3. #4763
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    I just want to say that that Marco Polo is the dumbest and funniest skill i have read in a long time

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  4. #4764
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hakuro View Post
    If Marco Polo has a Swimsuit Summer Event Skill does he have a Speedo variant?
    I couldn't find the right kind of picture but it is safe to assume yes.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    I just want to say that that Marco Polo is the dumbest and funniest skill i have read in a long time
    That's what I was going for with the sheet.

  5. #4765
    夜属 Nightkin Hakuro's Avatar
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    During Summer I hope this thread only accepts Swimsuit variants.

  6. #4766
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hakuro View Post
    During Summer I hope this thread only accepts Swimsuit variants.
    This should actually be a thing; repost at least one of your Servants, but make a Swimsuit version of them.
    Last edited by SleepMode; February 27th, 2017 at 05:58 PM.

  7. #4767
    後継者 Successor zikari8's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    I couldn't find the right kind of picture but it is safe to assume yes.
    I did my worst.

    Spoiler:


    I regret everything

  8. #4768
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4score7years View Post
    W H A T I S A R T
    I've found my answer

  9. #4769
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zh1212 View Post
    This should actually be a thing; repost at least one of your Servants, but make a Swimsuit version of them.
    Sounds like fun. No idea which one of my Servants could qualify, though...

    - - - Updated - - -

    Okay, really blasphemous idea... the swimsuit version of a certain messiah with a "Water Of Life" NP...

  10. #4770
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Looks like the summer is gonna bring some hilarious and/or dumb servant sheets then.

  11. #4771
    Hey, I already got a swimsuit Servant back in Create-A-Servant 1. Check it!

  12. #4772
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PBlades View Post
    Hey, I already got a swimsuit Servant back in Create-A-Servant 1. Check it!
    Odd, the Faceclaim doesn't work...

  13. #4773
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PBlades View Post
    Hey, I already got a swimsuit Servant back in Create-A-Servant 1. Check it!
    Oh, I remember that one. The FC was certainly... something.

  14. #4774
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Oh, I remember that one. The FC was certainly... something.
    Wait, did have something to do with a buff figure...?

    If so, then...oh.

  15. #4775
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zh1212 View Post
    Wait, did have something to do with a buff figure...?

    If so, then...oh.
    Pretty sure it was this:

    Spoiler tagged for sanity

    From Koihime Musou, where the historically male characters were turned into cute girls and the historical girls... well, see for yourself if you dare.

  16. #4776
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Pretty sure it was this:

    Spoiler tagged for sanity

    From Koihime Musou, where the historically male characters were turned into cute girls and the historical girls... well, see for yourself if you dare.
    ... Yeah, I was guessing it was from this...

    ... Why did I even...

    Reviews:

    Nimrod: That Tower NP is very amusing, and after looking through other versions of Nimrod, I can say that yours is the best.

    Marco Polo: An really amusing Servant; an interesting imagining of the famous traveler as a honey-tongued storyteller. Really creative. (That Marco Polo Skill though, it had me laughing as I read through its description.)
    Last edited by SleepMode; February 27th, 2017 at 10:40 PM.

  17. #4777
    夜属 Nightkin
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zh1212 View Post
    ... Yeah, I was guessing it was from this...

    ... Why did I even...
    What's the matter?

    How could you not be helplessly enthralled by the sublime glory of one of the Four Great Beauties of China?

    (even though Diaochan's the one that's entirely fictional...)
    Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; February 27th, 2017 at 10:42 PM.

  18. #4778
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theoneandonlyz View Post
    What's the matter?

    How could you not be helplessly enthralled by the sublime glory of one of the Four Great Beauties of China?

    (even though Diaochan's the one that's entirely fictional...)
    You misunderstand; I was merely stunned by her lady's majesty and indomitable strength that even rivals the strongest of Heroic Spirits!

    (The image sent flashbacks to me...)

  19. #4779
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    The word fictional has no meaning in the world of Fate.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  20. #4780
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Lion-headed Inventor Presidents are real.

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