Oh, and Melusine (to me) is basically a water snek, in contrast to the flame snek we know. A question, what would happen when her morale drops to 0? Will she be trapped in her NP until death? Or will she just be a moping, tactically useless Servant?
Unlike Kiyohime, Melusine is not insane. But enough suffering might just make her snap. Or just drive her into a deep inescapable depression.
There is being "agile" and there's holy shit flash stepping literally faster than the eye can see (Cú Chulainn, Agility A), catching a supersonic weapon by hand in mid flight and using said weapon to parry a second supersonic weapon flying at your face a split second after the one you just caught (Lancelot, Agility A+), or swinging a sword so perfectly that reality have no choice but to bend over for you and recognize 3 simultaneous strikes from 3 separate directions (Kojiro, Agility A+).
What did the Pied Piper actually do that you somehow think he deserves an Agility that surpasses these gentlemen?
Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; March 5th, 2017 at 11:29 PM.
Riding (A+): Can use Phantasmal and Divine Beasts as mounts. Rider learned to
ride her horse before she could walk, as is typical of Central Asian heroes.
Magic Resistance (C): Cancels spells two verses or shorter. Rider is no stranger to facing
magic in combat, whether it be one-on-one duels or massive battlefield-controlling spells.
Personal Skills
Charisma (B): Sufficient to lead an entire people. As a khan, Rider achieved god-like status among
her people as an epic hero. Her mere appearance inspires her allies to fight harder and stronger.
Berserk (A): A composite skill of Bravery and Madness Enhancement that improves melee damage and negates
mental interference. Throughout her epic, Rider is called a lion in a human's skin, unflinching at overwhelming
odds against armies and monsters. Even as a child, she was strong and ferocious enough to fight full-grown men,
killing twelve with each strike of her spear.
Protection of the Manaschis (EX): A skill not strictly attributed to Rider but to those telling her story. When
reciting Rider's epic, the singer is said to gain the aid of a Muse-like spirit to help them transition between
scenes and improvise flawlessly, in order to make the tale more grand and lifelike for their audience. As the
hero of the story, Rider must always prevail, and gains a constant rank-up to LCK. In addition, any benefits
Rider receives from musical effects generated by her allies are doubled.
Noble Phantasms
Jay-Tash~Stone of Storms (C, Anti-Army, Magecraft)
A stone often used as a tool by jaychis, or mages, to control the weather. Though not skilled in the magical arts,
Rider was nonetheless able to use one such stone to pelt her enemies with severe rain storms and blizzards. The
hazardous conditions can be enough to paralyze an ordinary soldier with cold and fear. Against Servants, it can
lower their physical parameters by up to two ranks, depending on their own compatibility against Rider.
The horse was considered to be the wings of a man and the best friend of the Central Asian hero. On the day of
Rider's birth, the colt Toruchaar was born as well, the likes of which had never been seen. He was dedicated to
Rider's service and has served as her mount from the day they were born. Toruchaar is a mighty and intelligent
stallion that appears to move according to Rider's mere thoughts. Though the horse's power is considerable, he
simply acts as the focus for this Noble Phantasm. In her legend, Rider is accompanied and guarded by the spirits
of powerful animals that were revered by the Kyrgyz people: a lion, a hawk and a dragon. Rider can invoke them
to surround Toruchaar and imbue him with their abilities. When in use, Toruchaar appears to be in the center of
a ghostly image of a lion, hawk or dragon. Rider's new mount moves with all of Toruchaar's skill in addition to
its increased strength (the lion) or speed (the hawk). When invoking the dragon, all of Rider and Toruchaar's
parameters are ranked up and the two of them become a whirlwind of spear and claw bearing down on the enemy.
Background
Manas is the great hero of Kyrgyzstan, and the Epic of Manas is the most treasured expression of the national heritage of
the Kyrgyz people. It is one of the longest epic poems in history, trailing behind the Mahabharata and King Geasar at nearly
half a million lines. As nomads, the ancient Kyrgyz had no written language, but they excelled at oral tradition, using their
poetry and epic songs to carry the story down through the generations. The Epic of Manas is unique in that the practice of
reciting it continues to this day by specialists called manaschis. Manas is so important to Kyrgyz culture that the hero's
act of unifying forty clans is reflected in the people's name, Kyrgyz, which means "We are Forty", as well as the country's
flag, which displays a sun with forty rays spreading out.
One third of the epic is devoted to Manas, with the rest focusing on his son and grandson. The story begins by telling of
the difficulties faced by the nomadic Kyrgyz when they are forced out of China by the invading Mongols. For generations
they fight to survive in a hostile land with varying degrees of success. One day, a horselord named Jakip had a son after
praying for years into his old age. The child was born with a large blood clot in his hand, signifying he will be a great
leader (this same omen was said to have ocurred at the birth of Genghis Khan as well). At the same time, a mare gave
birth to Toruchaar, Manas' legendary stallion, and the two were bonded from the day they were born.
Manas was unique among his peers for his strength, mischief and generosity. When he was twelve years old he crushed an army
of seven hundred Mongols along with forty of his companions. His fame spread far and wide, reaching the ear of Esenkhan, the
khan of Beijing. Esenkhan sent an army of ten thousand men to capture or kill Manas. However, Manas united the forty tribes
of the Kyrgyz people and rallied them against the Mongol horde. For his bravery and charisma, Manas was elected khan. He then
moved east, reclaiming the mountain country where his ancestors first lived, in modern-day Kyrgyzstan.
In the epic, much emphasis is put on Manas' dedication to his people's unity and peace, his incredible skill as a warrior
and love and faithfulness to his family. In the Holy Grail War, Manas has been summoned as a woman. Though she appears
young, around sixteen, her hair is tied in a long, single braid, indicating that she is married and can be called a 'woman'
rather than a 'girl' without being insulted. Perhaps it is the unreliable nature of a story that has been passed down orally
for a thousand years that is to blame for the gender mixup.
Alternate FC
I went with the above FC because she's wearing traditional Kyrgyz clothing,
but I quite like this one as well, even if it has more of an East Asian aesthetic.
Last edited by Funderfullness; March 6th, 2017 at 08:33 PM.
"We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet
Nice. Actually like the 1st FC more. Way more more interesting overall despite the inappropriate face.
One little issue though. Isn't the Berserk skill more of a indicator how wild, primal, and unpredictable your fighting style is?
Like it's suppose to counteract combat predictive skills such as Instinct and Eye of the Mind rather than function as Mad Enhancement without the disadvantages?
...could be wrong though.
Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; March 6th, 2017 at 12:08 AM.
Sasaki trained his one sword strike to such an insane level of speed and precision that he actually broke the world. So he qualifies for his A+ in that one respect. But in other aspects of Agility he wasn't on par with other stronger Servants.
Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; March 6th, 2017 at 03:30 AM.
Sasaki trained his one sword strike to such an insane level of speed and precision that he actually broke the world. So he qualifies for his A+ in that one respect. But in other aspects of Agility he wasn't on par with other stronger Servants.
UBW showed his agility in battle, so presumably A+ means A for overall agility and + for his sword-swinging agility. And true, Sasaki's Agility is not really on par with normal Servants (as far as we know).
One little issue though. Isn't the Berserk skill more of a indicator how wild, primal, and unpredictable your fighting style is?
Like it's suppose to counteract combat predictive skills such as Instinct and Eye of the Mind rather than function as Mad Enhancement without the disadvantages?
...could be wrong though.
Not quite. Going by what I read in Beo's profile, it is about entering controlled rages, in Beowulf's case he ends up fighting like a wild animal.
UBW showed his agility in battle, so presumably A+ means A for overall agility and + for his sword-swinging agility. And true, Sasaki's Agility is not really on par with normal Servants (as far as we know).
That's not really it. Just think of the stats as being generalizations. If Kojirou and Cu were to have a test in which their top running speed, reaction time, manual dexterity, and limberness were rated, just imagine that Kojirou's reaction time and manual dexterity tests were absolutely murdered while his running speed and limberness were merely okay, while Cu did great in everything.
The + is for momentary increases, not a conditional setting, else you'd think they'd put that note like they do elsewhere of "normally x rank, but y under conditions"
Crap. I just noticed that I forgot to save the links for the pictures I used.
I will see if I can find them.
Anyways, any reviews/advice for my Fernando Pessoa sheet?
The heteronyms are a pretty neat idea. In some ways, it reminds of an idea I once had for a Voltaire sheet with a focus around creating pseudonyms. However whereas that idea was more based on the creation of false names, this one focuses on the false identities he actually used. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, so I'm going to move on.
It's a pretty cool sheet, and for someone I'd never heard of. I liked how you attempted to showcase a few of the heteronyms as well, rather than just stating that they exist. It's sort of like hundred-faces Hassan, but there's only ever one.
Not quite. Going by what I read in Beo's profile, it is about entering controlled rages, in Beowulf's case he ends up fighting like a wild animal.
- - - Updated - - -
Then again I could be wrong too.
Berserk A
Disable mental interference such as coercion, confusion and illusion, a composite of the Bravery skill and Mad Enhancement skill that improves melee damage. During the time the skill is used, he changes into a beast that fights with his animal instinct (different kanji with Instinct)
Last edited by castor212; March 6th, 2017 at 11:25 AM.
Since I posted the Ashoka Sheet 2 days ago, I'm curious if anyone have any thoughts on it.
I'm trying not to constantly ask for reviews, but it's the only way for me to find any flaws I have overlooked.
Originally Posted by WhatShouldNotBe
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