Create-A-Servant 2

[RoydGolden]

So, what do you all think of Cain Lily? I was expecting a little more feedback, since it's both a rather unique idea and one I put a fair deal of detail into.

Also, how do you feel about the new formatting I tried out? I went with it because it's the easiest given how Notepad is set up on my new computer, but if it really looks bad to some of you I can always recalibrate.

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It's actually worse cause now he intends to ship him and Abel together to not only make the world's first yandere but also world's first incest couple.

I'm not really shipping them. Sure you can interpret it that way if you're pruriently minded, but it's not much more then the usual anime sibling relationship in that regard...

[zikari8]

To be honest, the new formatting is pretty hard to read and doesn't look very nice.

[Skull]

Eh, it looks fine to me. Maybe just space it out a bit more but other than that.

[WhatShouldNotBe]

It's actually worse cause now he intends to ship him and Abel together to not only make the world's first yandere but also world's first incest couple.

No.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[4score7years]

No.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

But I mean he literally just said it wasn't like that one post later.

I don't really see it that way anyhow.

Actual Feedback:

Format: it's fine, but the old one was probably better.

Sheet: Really nice, actually. Impressively so, considering that it can't include the thing Cain is most famous for (in its traditional form, anyway). The personality is pretty fleshed out, and the first NP is very creative but conceptually makes sense. The second NP's variation from the Assassin one is also cool. EotM strikes me as potentially unnecessary. I see why it's there, but the justification feels a little thin.

[zikari8]

@ Format

Huh, maybe it's my computer. For me, the text is all seperated up with large gaps in between words.

[WhatShouldNotBe]

But I mean he literally just said it wasn't like that one post later.

I don't really see it that way anyhow.

Actual Feedback:

Format: it's fine, but the old one was probably better.

Sheet: Really nice, actually. Impressively so, considering that it can't include the thing Cain is most famous for (in its traditional form, anyway). The personality is pretty fleshed out, and the first NP is very creative but conceptually makes sense. The second NP's variation from the Assassin one is also cool. EotM strikes me as potentially unnecessary. I see why it's there, but the justification feels a little thin.

Its a joke. I was esaggerating my response. But anyway, now to crank out more servants. Let's see, Ptahotep or maybe something else....

[SleepMode]

Cain Lily: I see you've made the idea I've posted after your Cain 2.0 out into a reality, and boy was this an amazing sheet. 4score7years basically said everything I would've mentioned, so props to you! And wow, the Craft Essences, they're slightly disconcerting...

[Bird of Hermes]

Galatea: I never saw the original but I like this remake (the trend was bound to happen at some point). I like the choice of skills you've done as I would have copped out and just done a Enkidu expy, which is actually the reason I've never done a sheet for Pandora either.

Ivan Pavlov: Pretty creative, never considered him as servant material but I like your take on him. Also don't feel guilty about not commenting, you shouldn't feel obliged to.

Harald Wartooth: ... Two EX's?

Wong Fei-Hung: I never saw this guy in materials so I can't comment on that aspect. The sheet itself is fun and I always like seeing martial artist servants here (I say that having only done one myself). The NP is very simple and but it works great with him, also the Fist of the North Star reference was appreciated.

Cain Lily: I should say the new format is a bit hard to read, then again it could just be on my end though. Also considering the sheer length, you may want to start incorporating brackets. The stuff you've actually put down is really enjoyable though with the character and everything and I can't really add on what hasn't been said too much.

[RoydGolden]

Cain Lily: I see you've made the idea I've posted after your Cain 2.0 out into a reality, and boy was this an amazing sheet. 4score7years basically said everything I would've mentioned, so props to you! And wow, the Craft Essences, they're slightly disconcerting...

Glad you liked it! A lot of credit goes to you obviously, since you were the one who inspired the idea in the first place. For the Craft Essences, I tried to go with a combination of 'innocent, yet creepy' so it's good to hear that produced the intended impression...For what 4score said above, I admit that EOTM is a little unnecessary. I just thought the idea of him farming SO HARD that it translates into actual combat experience was pretty amusing...

I'll think about the formatting. From my end it looks fine (at least, to my OCD sensibilities) but if a lot of people are having problems I'll think of changing it, at least for future sheets.

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Also, now that I've done Cain as the first murderer and as an innocent(?) farmer, I'm thinking of maybe doing a third take on him as a founder of godless cities and patriarch of the bloodthirsty Cainite tribe. Basically, if Cain Lily is fundamentally good but yet commits acts of evil and Assassin!Cain is somebody who believes himself to be a villain and yet tries to be good in spite of himself, then this Cain would be one who fully embraces his role as a villain and 'evil overlord' after Abel's death. Any thoughts? Mind you, it'll probably be a while before I ever write it up, but I seem to have taken quite a interest in Cain and the various permutations of his legend as of late...

[Skull]

@RoydGolden, seeing as how you've covered both Cain and Abel now, any plans on doing Seth?

Anyway, I've already got an idea for my next sheet. Won't say the identity but it'll be another Caster and actually a mage this time! Gonna have to take some time to think up the NP for it though, so don't expect anything for a while.

[WhatShouldNotBe]

Harald Wartooth: ... Two EX's?
.

Both of which are really situational to make sure you get the most out of them, and countered if you know what you're doing. Neither of them are "I Win" buttons, unlike certain other EX NPs. I mean his whole shtick is dying. Both of his EX NPs make things extremely dangerous for him, which also happens to everyone around him. So if one has any sense, you just GTFO and wait it out.

[SleepMode]

Also, now that I've done Cain as the first murderer and as an innocent(?) farmer, I'm thinking of maybe doing a third take on him as a founder of godless cities and patriarch of the bloodthirsty Cainite tribe. Basically, if Cain Lily is fundamentally good but yet commits acts of evil and Assassin!Cain is somebody who believes himself to be a villain and yet tries to be good in spite of himself, then this Cain would be one who fully embraces his role as a villain and 'evil overlord' after Abel's death. Any thoughts? Mind you, it'll probably be a while before I ever write it up, but I seem to have taken quite a interest in Cain and the various permutations of his legend as of late...

For the class, it can either be Berserker, Caster or Saber, and for inspiration I recommend looking up Sauron or Arthas for the "Overlord" schtick.

Regarding future Servants that I'll make, I can summarize them as:

A man who's seen so much s**t on his journey that barely anything impress him anymore

The Woman

and

Those three bachelors.

[RoydGolden]

@RoydGolden, seeing as how you've covered both Cain and Abel now, any plans on doing Seth?

Anyway, I've already got an idea for my next sheet. Won't say the identity but it'll be another Caster and actually a mage this time! Gonna have to take some time to think up the NP for it though, so don't expect anything for a while.

That would make sense, to complete my 'antediluvian siblings' set. I don't know much about Seth at all, but a brief wiki-skim shows some stuff that could definitely be spun into a Servant sheet (like being taught the secrets of Kabbalah or serving as the forefather to mankind). And heck, I wrote up Abel as the world's first yandere onee-chan vampire, so clearly some artistic license isn't the greatest concern here...

Since Seth was apparently appointed by God as a replacement for Abel, I think an interesting take would be to depict him (or her, a genderbend is hardly out of the picture) with an inferiority complex from comparing himself to her. If Abel was the "perfect" one and Cain was the "evil" one, then Seth would be a comparatively normal (but still awesome) person struggling to live up to the expectations set by their pretty much exalted sibling... Possibly even with Information Erasure or some variant, to reflect how he was overshadowed by his much more famous brothers in popular tellings of the mythology.

The idea definitely has potential, I'll grant that. Thanks for the suggestion, Skull!

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For the class, it can either be Berserker, Caster or Saber, and for inspiration I recommend looking up Sauron or Arthas for the "Overlord" schtick.

I actually thought of making him either Caster (with Item Construction to craft tools of murder and Territory Creation to establish an ungodly city) or possibly even Ruler Alter, as a distorted form of the 'ruler of man' archetype.

[zikari8]

You should cover the mystery of Cain's Wife

I'm sorry. I'll see myself out and go work on a sheet for once.

[Prix with a Silent X]

Biblical post-creation history is full of incest (and angels if you buy the Nephilim myth). Mystery solved.

As for godless Cain cities... how? He literally talks to God in his myth. Strawman Naytheist.

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Genderbent Seth isn't especially interesting to me since it kind of seems pointless unless you go the whole nine yards with changing all of Biblical heredity to some kind of very matrilineal mythos. Cain, Seth, and Abel aren't posited as the only children of Adam and Eve, only the first three male children. If you want female early Biblical history, I'd think you'd get more mileage out of various Lilith myths or kind of running with the fact that someone had daughters before they were named in the canon.

[Bird of Hermes]

I actually thought of making him either Caster (with Item Construction to craft tools of murder and Territory Creation to establish an ungodly city) or possibly even Ruler Alter, as a distorted form of the 'ruler of man' archetype.

Caster with an Archimedes skill like Aptitude for Slaughter or something would work wonders with a Cain that's that far gone.

[RoydGolden]

Biblical post-creation history is full of incest (and angels if you buy the Nephilim myth). Mystery solved.

As for godless Cain cities... how? He literally talks to God in his myth. Strawman Naytheist.

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Genderbent Seth isn't especially interesting to me since it kind of seems pointless unless you go the whole nine yards with changing all of Biblical heredity to some kind of very matrilineal mythos. Cain, Seth, and Abel aren't posited as the only children of Adam and Eve, only the first three male children. If you want female early Biblical history, I'd think you'd get more mileage out of various Lilith myths or kind of running with the fact that someone had daughters before they were named in the canon.

Don't ask me but the founding of cities is definitely a part of (some versions of) the legend. Sometimes they're even conflated with Babylonia as a "city of sin". And I think "godless" is more intended in the sense of actively "

defying

rejecting

" rather then merely "disbelieving" in God. As you said, it'd be pretty silly for a dude living in a time where God literally walks around and kicks people out of gardens to literally disbelieve in a deity.

The genderbend was just an idea I threw off carelessly, I doubt I'll be using it. I went with Abel as a girl to better fit the 'sweet and innocent anime sibling' archetype, while there's no analogous reason to do the same with Seth. I imagine Seth as a lazy slacker who puts on a façade of indifference to everything (since he can't live up to the standards of Abel, why bother even trying?) but is secretly a really earnest and righteous person who gives his all.

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Caster with an Archimedes skill like Aptitude for Slaughter or something would work wonders with a Cain that's that far gone.

I already gave Assassin Cain a variant of that Skill, but with the hypothetical Ruler/Caster version I might just go with the (Tools) version.

Since that Cain would embody the more so-called "civilized" methods of slaughter (armies, formal weapons and the like), rather then an impulsive act of brutality that defined his original self.

[Bird of Hermes]

I already gave Assassin Cain a variant of that Skill, but with the hypothetical Ruler/Caster version I might just go with the (Tools) version.

Since that Cain would embody the more so-called "civilized" methods of slaughter (armies, formal weapons and the like), rather then an impulsive act of brutality that defined his original self.

That's a pretty decent idea dude. Do it.

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Also on a side note, I won't be posting Servants here for a while as I'm currently holding them for the quest RP I've just started. I'll post them here when fully revealed and/or dead.

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Both of which are really situational to make sure you get the most out of them, and countered if you know what you're doing. Neither of them are "I Win" buttons, unlike certain other EX NPs. I mean his whole shtick is dying. Both of his EX NPs make things extremely dangerous for him, which also happens to everyone around him. So if one has any sense, you just GTFO and wait it out.

I've no issue with the NP's themselves, I just disagree with the ranks.

[RoydGolden]

That's a pretty decent idea dude. Do it.

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Also on a side note, I won't be posting Servants here for a while as I'm currently holding them for the quest RP I've just started. I'll post them here when fully revealed and/or dead.

I'll probably work on it sometime, though I still have quite a few other ideas bouncing around my head. (For instance, after reading up on his legend, I'd like to do with the Wolf King Courtaud someday...)

...Ah, so the Servants you'll be using the RP are created specifically for it rather then selected from your past works? That's cool, and it'll mean there's more of a surprise to find out their identities.