142cm and 36kg... I guess the outcome came out differently than expected You.
142cm and 36kg... I guess the outcome came out differently than expected You.
Originally Posted by FSF 5, Chapter 14: Gold and Lions IThough abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.
Can someone send me a link to Formosus's sheet? Can't find it on the first page and Funder's link isn't working for me. :/
Edit: Was planning to update my sheet several days ago, but it's difficult drawing her out with the papal tiara and all right now. Also pulling off a "looks like a boy but when you know it's a girl you can clearly tell it's a girl" look is hard.
Last edited by chem24; July 5th, 2017 at 01:20 PM.
These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
Servant And Master Sheets
Servant Saber:
True Name: Lityerses "The Reaper Of Men"
Alternate Classes: Lancer, Assassin
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Appearance:
A young man with lightly bronzed skin and a slender, yet rugged build. His handsome face is cris-crossed with numerous battle scars, blonde hair the color of straw is tied into a rough ponytail falling to his upper back and his grey eyes shine with a predatory gleam. He dresses casually in the clothing of the modern era; a red sleeveless shirt with 'DEAD END REAPER' written on the front in English, a white jacket and simple dark pants. Also sports a red headband tied across his forehead, keeping the excess strands of hair out of his face.
Equipment:
A long bronze sword reminiscent of a farming sickle or ancient Egyptian Khopesh, the blade curved along a crescent-moon shaped arc. Taking advantage of its unique shape, Saber's favorite strategy is to hook the inner edge of his blade around the foe's neck before sharply pulling- severing their head in one smooth motion.
Strength- B
Agility- B+
Endurance- C
Mana- C
Luck- D
NP- C
Personality
Class Skills:
Magic Resistance- B
Spells with a chant below three verses are cancelled, proving difficult to affect even by the likes of High Thaumaturgy or Greater Rituals. Despite living in the Age of Gods, Saber was never described to have encountered Magecraft. Connection to the sacred rites of Demeter has imbued him with a higher rank in this Skill.
Riding- E
Ability to ride animals. Having no experience nor affinity with mounts, Saber is only afforded the bare minimum ranking in this Skill through his Class Container.
Personal Skills:
Gleaner Of The Sacred Harvest- B
A Skill denoting one's occupation as a farmer who reaps the earth. Bonus damage is granted when striking against foes tied to the natural world, such as nature spirits and Elementals. Since the meaning of "to reap" can also encompass cutting down enemies, this Skill additionally serves as Swordsmanship of the same rank.
Saber was famed for challenging passersby to harvesting contests and taking their heads as macabre trophies upon victory, wrapping the rest of the body in sheaves of corn and tossing it into the Maeander river. As word of these ghoulish exploits took root Saber came to be known as the "Reaper Of Men", a title alluding to both his rural occupation as well as the remorseless efficiency in which he cut down his victims- as if they were merely stalks of corn rather then human beings.
As a child of Demeter, Saber's story has also been allegorized to represent the harvesting rituals of ancient societies, thereby granting a higher rank in this Skill.
Proof Of Friendship- D+
A Skill to suppress an enemy Servant's fighting spirit to a certain extent, to establish peaceful dialogue. Rather then a knack for diplomacy, Saber's variation of this Skill reflects his ability to lull enemies into a false sense of security before attacking.
This Skill activates when Saber makes an "offer of hospitality" to his opponents. While appearing innocent, the effects of this offer are close to (though far weaker then) a Command Seal. Should enemy Servants accept his invitation, both their will to fight and natural suspicion of Saber are immediately curbed. Furthermore, the longer they spend in Saber's company the more they come to see him as a friend and trusted ally.
Even if the initial offer is refused, it must also be noted that consuming any food or drink offered by Saber counts as "acceptance" so far as this Skill is concerned. After all, in ancient Greek culture, to partake of someone's food was tantamount to accepting the terms of their hospitality. As a form of psychological suggestion, it can be warded off by Mental Pollution and analogous Skills that specialize in rebutting attacks on the mind.
When strangers came by his house in Phrygia, Saber first indulged them as honored guests and shared his finest food and wine with them. After a day of extravagent feasting his guests were sluggish and indolent, unsuspecting as Saber led them out into the fields for slaughter.
Divinity- C
Qualifies one's Divine Spirit aptitude. Revered in song as "the divine Lityerses"- a son of the agricultural goddess Demeter, Saber's rank is befitting a minor demigod.
Noble Phantasm
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So here's a sheet I've been working on in the last few days. To be honest, I'm not super proud of this one and it's not nearly as fleshed out as my usual stuff, but my inspiration regarding Servant sheets has kinda' died as of late so I figured I might as well post it up rather then leave it hanging around my Word file forever. Probably after this I'll start working on writing projects rather then Servant sheets for a little while...
Last edited by RoydGolden; July 7th, 2017 at 02:01 PM.
Here is Formosus. I could've sworn he and a bunch of Servants I did after him were added to the OP. Or am I thinking of the pastebin file?
"We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet
List of Servants I've made
Guess that Lityerses sheet must've been pretty lousy, since it seems to have basically killed this thread for a while...
no news=good news
It sucks but it is often true. I haven't been in a position to comment all day anyway. I do agree that it's a bit of a downer to go without any reactions either way, though. So...
Lityerses: TBH even if I had been able to respond, I wouldn't know what particualrly to say. This isn't someone I've ever so much as heard of. Not even the name rang any bells. That, of course, makes commenting a bit hard. But I'll do what I can, bearing in mind that I can't speak to lore correctness or point any source-based errors or oversights you've made.
You haven't made any "sheet" errors, everything seems to be in the proper order and you aren't missing any mandatory stuff. Parameters seem fair, on the low side for a saber but nothing wrong with that. Funny to mention this, but I think your appearance section is probably one of my favorite parts of the sheet, not because the rest is bad but because it's a clean nice visual design, and I quite like it. In absence of a FC, it's quite nice. Apart from that, the skills are reasonably creative and the NP seems Fate GO esque.
a bit lackluster as reviews go but hey, better than nothin
Oh yeah? Can I guess which pirate?
L'Ollonais maybe? More of a buccaneer, but would be interesting.
For an even weirder choice, Alexander Exsquemelin or Thomas Doughty? I dunno if I called them traditional pirates either.
Whatever you come up with, though, I'll probably enjoy it.
Last edited by 4score7years; July 6th, 2017 at 09:58 PM.
First, thanks for the feedback. You're right that he's a very obscure mythical figure, who I only even heard of because he showed up as a villain in a book I've been reading lately (Riordan's The Dark Prophecy, if you're curious). Alas I can't entirely take credit for his appearance either since it was largely based off how he was described in said book, though that mainly extends to the scarred face and modern clothing. The specific wording and flavor (like the Engrishy phrase on his shirt) are all mine.
BTW I wrote in the appearance myself because finding FCs of anime boys with curved swords and farming clothes in the style I wanted turned out pretty much impossible...
- - - Updated - - -
Or perhaps an edgy sorcerer Blackbeard Alter? Totally just saying this because I watched the third Pirates Of The Caribbean movie yesterday...
Last edited by RoydGolden; July 6th, 2017 at 11:23 PM.
“Congratulations, Master - you’ve summoned both the richest man in the world as well as the King among all pirates and other unsavory folk. (They didn't suspect anything yet...)”
Faceclaim
Servant Class: Rider
True Name: Henry Every, The Arch-Pirate/Pirate King
Place of Origin: Britain
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Attribute: Man
Alternate Classes: Berserker
Catalyst: A minted gold coin, taken from the treasure on the Ganj-i-Sawai
Likes: Freedom, Riches, Family, The sea
Dislikes: Anyone ouside of Britain, Merchants, Being called a beggar
Talents: Hoarding
Natural Enemy: East India Company, Shinjuku Archer
Parameters:
Strength - C
Endurance - D
Agility - A
Mana - E
Luck - A
N.
Phantasm - A
Background
Personal Traits
Craft Essence/Reactions
Skills
Noble Phantasms
(Although it took several weeks, the ultimate pirate Servant is here. As usual, review it or rip it apart. Either of those is appreciated.)
Last edited by SleepMode; July 26th, 2017 at 11:10 PM. Reason: Edited according to sherlock's advice
The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
Coffee would be nice, though.
[Collection of my Servant Sheets]
Now Revamped!
(slowly going insane when people complain about their sheets being ignored and yet my shilling of Sacher-Masoch gets him no attention, I can now be summoned as a Berserker class Servant)
Lityereses: Well considering you mentioned you got this idea from a Riordan novel I need to be especially critical. After doing a short bit of background research on this character, there seems to be very little mention of him in any Myths and in fact the song bearing his name "the Song of the Divine Lityereses" doesn't mention him at all. Furthermore I couldn't find a source mentioning if he was a son of Demeter, just that he was the illegitimate son of Midas (possibly), although naturally my access to sources on obscure Greek legends is somewhat limited. Parameters all seem to be appropriate, but I do have a few questions regarding skills. Firstly while reading the description for Gleaner of the Sacred Harvest I noticed his sudden class change to Saver. What is it with Greek villains and the whole "invite them into your home and then KILL" style of doing things huh? I'd have thought Saber would've had Suppression or a false rank in Proof of Friendship as it seems to be a skill for those who are authentically amiable people rather than his style of doing things. I can't see how he'd be able to feed both himself (a famed glutton) and his enemies... but that's a bit beside the point sorry. I've already kind of questioned his Divinity rank already, sorry. I feel the NP could have been elaborated on a bit, what happens is all there and it is meeting the Nasuverse "include a concept" requirement but maybe mentioning the Mana usage or some other limitation on this NP would be useful, it's also kind of bland visually sorry.
Henry Every: First thing to note is this guy passes the "should it be a Rider" test (although that wasn't exactly difficult), well done for selecting an appropriate class as that seems to be something I can't do. I know this is a bit out-of-order (I would usually list my criticisms based on where I am in my reading of the sheet) but should his alignment be Chaotic Evil? Considering his personality he doesn't seem much worse than King of Chaotic Good but then again the Nasuverse alignments are.... broad to say the least. With parameters that weak he is going to need A rank Luck, as a Master I'd be tucking him into bed personally out of fear of that Endurance rank. In the third paragraph of the Personal Traits section there is what I assume is a spelling error "Every one of his actions were deliberately thought out" unless that's directly contradicting the rest of the surrounding paragraph. Those were some nice reactions by the way, I had fun reading them thanks . Skills all look fairly sensible although god-damn these Riding jokes Scrapegoat is similar to already existing Skills right? Although I would understand that laying the blame on someone else may qualify for a new skill, sorry. The Noble Phantasms are both appropriate and very well written. Summon an awesome ship, reminds me of Eon's sheets with how the NP can only be maintained long enough for hit-and-run. It's all explained very well so nothing much to say here. I feel though that when you said you'd "come up with a NP that wasn't summon a ship" having the second NP be "summon a city" is a bit of a cheap move. These are both very original NPs (although I was going to mention how the second one reminded me of Caster Cain, so that sounds quite contradictory sorry) and once again you've given a detailed enough description that I don't have much to add, does Every himself (possibly bearing the king trait) suffer a rank down in this environment? I imagine that the King of Pirates being someone who is acting out a role would be something Gil would comment on anyway.
Last edited by sherlock1110; July 7th, 2017 at 06:01 AM.
These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
Servant And Master Sheets
Nah, I even opened up the Italy and other tags that could possibly be connected to a pope and I couldn't find yours anywhere.
In other news, the way you typed out and "separated" the sheet in each comma was kinda weird, but I'd say the sheet itself and the servant was pretty decent. (And probably better than what I did)
These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
Servant And Master Sheets
I - Name Unknown
II - The Enemy
III - Rome Under Fire
IV – ChaosBase Stats & SkillsLore & CharacterNoble Phantasm
Last edited by Daneel Rush; July 7th, 2017 at 02:11 PM.
Chiyou: Embarrassingly enough I called the previous Chiyou sheet Mo Mu..... This probably shows my complete lack of knowledge of Chinese mythology and history. Well I'll try my best this time . I know this seems trivial but "Source" hasn't been put into bold, it's likely intentional but if it's an error I should point it out. 4score recently mentioned how the best sheets get little comments and (while I disagree with that) I see where he is coming from. Skills were pretty damn cool, especially the unique ones (unless Tyrant of Ashes and Slag or Monstrous Charisma exist in FGO or Prototype, Babbage maybe?). The Noble Phantasm could have been pretty boring (you could've easily said "It summons teh demonz") but combined with her skills it all comes together to make her a very interesting Rider class Servant. That last paragraph as well tops it all off well . Also I hear it everywhere but... what is a Saint Graph? I know it's to do with Servants and Servant stats but regardless I am ignorant, sorry.
Last edited by sherlock1110; July 7th, 2017 at 12:03 PM.
These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
Servant And Master Sheets
I meant more that like, not getting a response doesn't necessarily mean your sheet is bad. If it's really bad, you've made some sort of massive oversight, or it's a wankfest, people usually tell you.
There are a lot of reasons for why some sheets don't get that many comments, but it usually doesn't mean the sheet is bad.
These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
Servant And Master Sheets