Tiberius: Oooh, an Assassin with E Rank Agility? This is a rarity indeed (Okay that sounds pretentious as all hell, sorry). And is that face claim.... Phoenix Wright? I can't find the credit for the art but that's probably my own ineptitude rather than any fault on your part. I've already mentioned his parameters and FC so moving onto the skills section I believe that Royd brought up a point about Military Tactics? I won't debate on that front but everything here seems mostly appropriate although perhaps Golden Rule should be at B- with the negative modifier due to the squandering of his fortune. The Noble Phantasm (Turnabout Crucifixion) is interesting though simple, although exactly how the victim is stripped naked and crucified could have been useful to know, especially if it could be resisted by certain methods. In addition the costs of the NP could've been mentioned but the main structure of what it does and some side-effects are there so it's quite unnecessary information I am listing here.
Originally Posted by
Bird of Hermes
it's weaker than Balors eyes that killed anything it saw and Shiki's Mystic Eyes of Death Perception that can let one kill concepts. Delusional Sight only deals mental damage to living beings.
Yes but if it really isn't having the same "death" effect as Mystic Eyes of Death Perception it really has a lot more in common with a curse than the Mystic Eyes. It could be a Mystic Eye itself but it is still quite distinct from Mystic Eyes of Death Perception so I thought the comparison was somewhat misleading.
Wu Zetian: For some reason I feel I've heard of this person before (Not from Grand Order). Face claim seems fabulous enough, although I'm having difficulty finding the credit for it (where's YmirGally when you need them?). The parameters seem to fit her certainly. Due to the Longmen Grottoes analogy I give the Class Skills a nod of general respect, I'm a sucker for Buddhism related Servants despite the fact I know little to nothing about them. What I'm taking from these Personal Skills is a succinct but detailed enough description of her Magecraft, Web of Intrigue also makes her super sneaky, however I would question an EX Rank in Imperial Privilege, although I suppose as an Empress it makes sense I feel it is a bit excessive, especially considering that she was a very powerful Caster with those two previous Skills. Manual of Accusation is a Noble Phantasm with enough power to round off her arsenal perfectly, I assume that the method of torture isn't necessarily one she can fulfill right? Or there is some other limiting factor on it such as cost of use. Also maybe C+ is too low for such a Noble Phantasm, although if it can only gather information from Caster's interactions it would be weaker in it's information gathering capabilities. This may sound hypocritical but while it is powerful is A+ too high for Avalokitesvara Simulacra? Although that mostly depends on the degree of the mental effect and the physical damage that it can cause, it could have been better explained in this regard. Also the creation of this Noble Phantasm can also be described further. Otherwise it's a really awesome sheet, and if other's with more experience than me are saying so it is probably better than the canon Wu Zetian.
Lucifer: At this point I'm questioning if someone like Lucifer could be summoned as a Servant under any circumstances. The Servant summoning ritual can seem to accommodate the Beasts but due to their Independent Manifestation it's vague if that is even a proper Servant summoning. Saver is also an exception to this kind of idea as many Buddhists see even Gods (which Saver was not, not a Judeo-Christian one at least) as being trapped within Samsara. So really could something like Lucifer be summoned, regardless on with the sheet
. Archer as a class choice is debatable but Lucifer is vague enough as a character they could be any class under the sun. Sorry for your lack of faceclaim (It can be difficult sometimes finding one that fits, I'm questioning my next one as well). While the appearance and background lore are short you've actually done pretty well on the personality, which can aid with constructing the sheet as a whole. Class Skills make sense and I can see that the Independent Action being low due to his lack of autonomy could prove to be his downfall... got to try and avoid making Lucifer fall jokes -_- sorry. The Personal Skills may be a bit over-the-top. As I mentioned with Funder's Wu sheet the Servant seems very skilled in many areas, although with both a reasonable explanation can be given for the skills (Wu has Imperial Privilege, Lucifer's skills are all mostly in the same theme). Angel Core could be explained a bit better and perhaps a different name could be used (I guess this isn't a canon skill, also "different name" is my worst comment of all time now) but it converts a noble intention into Mana and, as someone with an interest in moral philosophy, I could spend all day picking apart the mechanics of this skill and it's lack of a rank (I'd think that at a higher rank more Mana would be produced or another effect would happen, while at low ranks very little Mana would be produced or some other equivalent effect) but right now I'll go with "If the Bible approves", does this mean Lucifer loses Mana if he eats fish? Wings of the Arch Angel is a skill you've used before if I remember correctly, it's a Skill with a lot of imagery opportunities, however maybe the limit on it's usage or the change in Agility feels unnecessary, I would think a Angel would have permanent access to flight and their wings (which could perhaps fill other roles such as acting as a shield or weapon) but if their wings are lost (cut off, a fall from grace maybe) they gain a permanent decrease to their agility. A rank in Divinity? I believe that's usually the highest.... that's perhaps too high for Lucifer, especially at this stage. Angelic Magic is a bit.... obscure? I'm lost as to what it actually does, sorry, due to the mention of circles I've suddenly got Wittgenstein stuck in my head again (suffering, Wittgenstein Saber is summoned using a poker). By the way... why are the parameters down here? It makes it seem like you've not given thought to them and if you want to make other's change their opinion about your sheets then even a bit of effort to change appearances could help, sorry if that's not the most comforting advice. Ah, Lucifer has a Light Novel Title for a Noble Phantasm. The Noble Phantasm could have a lot more fluff to it, I know what it does (mostly) but it's more like an Angel-Beam rather than a Sword-Beam. Also is Divine Magic compatible with currently existing Nasuverse ideas?