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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #10161
    Geminus Serpentes Lambda-Nu's Avatar
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    My first attempt at creating an OC Servant. Let me know what you guys think.

    Class: Caster
    True Name: George Bizet
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Neutral Good

    Strength: D
    Endurance: D
    Agility: C
    Mana: A
    Luck: D
    Noble Phantasm: B

    Class Skills
    Territory Creation B
    Ability to formulate a territory advantageous to oneself as a Magus. Caster's variety allows him to create a 'Symphony Hall' equal to a 'Workshop' where he can better utilize his musical powers.

    Personal Skills
    Protection of the Music God (False) B
    A Skill denoting divine protection from the god of arts Muse. In the case of the (False) variant, it is simply musical talent so great that one thinks it could only have come from gods. Makes possible to distinguish all kinds of sounds and play a masterful music performance. In addition, bonuses are applied regarding the practice of music-based Magecraft.

    Eye for Art B
    Infatuation for works of art. Has a very high chance of deducing the identities of fellow Servants if they possess musical anecdotes, whether that be famous songs referencing them or by being involved in the art themselves.

    Noble Phantasms
    Toreador March “Votre Toast, Je Peux Vous Le Rendre” B
    Type: Anti-Team
    Range: 30, 60, 90
    Maximum Number of Targets: 50, 100, 200

    Though George Bizet was not a bullfighter in life, he is heavily associated with it due to his most famous opera, Carmen. In act 2, the bullfighter Escamilla enters as he sings the song the Noble Phantasm is named for, describing the various situations in the bullring; the cheering of the crowds, the risks of bullfighting, and the fame that comes with victory.

    Toreador March works in a fashion similar to Nero’s Aestus Domus Aurea, a Reality Marble-like Noble Phantasm that is built on top of the current World rather than covering it with a different World. Because of this, it can persist for long periods of time. Rather than projecting Bizet’s inner world, it is a form of High-Thaumaturgy that only Bizet can perform.

    When activated, Toreador March creates a bullring in an arena. Within the bullring, Caster can spawn bulls endlessly and control them by conducting with his baton.
    Last edited by Lambda-Nu; April 8th, 2018 at 03:43 PM.

  2. #10162
    See you on the other side RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Bizet: Never heard of this guy, but I like his NP for being something other then the obvious "music blast" attack (though I'd suggest lowering the rank from A to B, as I doubt his should be higher ranked then Nero's theatre). His Personal Skills are incredibly generic though, with nothing to set him apart from other composer Servants. There's also a typo where he's listed as female in his Territory Creation Skill.

  3. #10163
    Geminus Serpentes Lambda-Nu's Avatar
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    Fixed (I have no clue how that typo happened). As for who George Bizet is, he was a French composer best known for his operas. But I couldn't really think of much for Personal Skills.

  4. #10164
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Since he's associated with bullfighting and there's been a lot of polemic with that recently (at least here in Spain), calling bullfighters murderers and that, you could have done something with that besides the NP

  5. #10165
    See you on the other side RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Since he's associated with bullfighting and there's been a lot of polemic with that recently (at least here in Spain), calling bullfighters murderers and that, you could have done something with that besides the NP
    Maybe make Bizet a Lancer instead of a Caster, with Innocent Monster giving him bullfighting prowess he never had in life? A bit of a stretch, but it'd be nice seeing artist Servants who aren't Casters for once...

  6. #10166
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Maybe make Bizet a Lancer instead of a Caster, with Innocent Monster giving him bullfighting prowess he never had in life? A bit of a stretch, but it'd be nice seeing artist Servants who aren't Casters for once...
    We have Salieri as an Avenger, but yeah, it'd be nice to see more non-Caster artists (when Amdusias Mozart?).

  7. #10167
    Geminus Serpentes Lambda-Nu's Avatar
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    Okay. I'll start creating V2 right away.

  8. #10168
    Geminus Serpentes Lambda-Nu's Avatar
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    Okay. So, take two.

    Class: Lancer
    True Name: Georges Bizet
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Neutral Good

    Strength: D
    Endurance: D
    Agility: C
    Mana: A
    Luck: D
    Noble Phantasm: B-

    Class Skills

    Magic Resistance E
    Cannot cancel spells, but magic damage is reduced somewhat.

    Riding C

    Most vehicles and animals can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts.

    Territory Creation B
    Ability to formulate a territory advantageous to oneself as a Magus. Lancer’s variety allows him to create a ‘Opera Hall' equal to a 'Workshop' where he can better utilize his musical powers.

    Personal Skills
    Protection of the Music God (False) B

    A Skill denoting divine protection from the god of arts Muse. In the case of the (False) variant, it is simply musical talent so great that one thinks it could only have come from gods. Makes possible to distinguish all kinds of sounds and play a masterful music performance. In addition, bonuses are applied regarding the practice of music-based Magecraft.

    Eye for Art B
    Infatuation for works of art. Has a very high chance of deducing the identities of fellow Servants if they possess musical anecdotes, whether that be famous songs referencing them or by being involved in the art themselves.

    Innocent Monster E

    Due to controversy growing around bullfighting in the modern era, Lancer has somehow gained a small level of bullfighting prowess despite not having participated in one himself. This makes his possession of Innocent Monster unique in that rather than affecting his appearance, it simply just gives him abilities he did not possess in life.

    Noble Phantasms
    Toreador March
    Votre Toast, Je Peux Vous Le Rendre
    B-
    Type: Anti-Team
    Range: 30, 60, 90
    Maximum Number of Targets: 50, 100, 200
    Though Georges Bizet was not a bullfighter in life, he has a good amount of association with it due to his most famous opera, Carmen. In act 2, the bullfighter Escamilla enters as he sings the song the Noble Phantasm is named for, describing the various situations in the bullring; the cheering of the crowds, the risks of bullfighting, and the fame that comes with victory.

    Toreador March works in a fashion similar to Nero’s Aestus Domus Aurea, a Reality Marble-like Noble Phantasm that is built on top of the current World rather than covering it with a different World. Because of this, it can persist for long periods of time. Rather than projecting Bizet’s inner world, it is a form of High-Thaumaturgy that only Bizet can perform.

    When activated, Toreador March creates a bullring in an arena. Within the bullring, Caster can spawn bulls endlessly and control them by conducting with his baton.

    Toreador March’s B- ranking comes from the fact that Bizet originally convinced that Ca rmen was a failure.

    Lore:
    Spoiler:
    Georges Bizet, born Alexandre César Léopold Bizet, was a French composer of the romantic era who is best known for his operas. He was also noted to be an excellent pianist, though he never capitalized on this skill and rarely performed in public. He had a brilliant student career while studying at the Conservatoire de Paris and won many prizes, such as the Prix de Rome in 1857. His actual career began after returning to Paris after spending three years in Italy. Unfortunately, his career’s early years were full of pitfalls and failures. Many of his projects were cancelled and the only two of his operas to reach the stage, Les pêcheurs de perles and La jolie fille de Perth, were immediately successful.

    Bizet served in the National Guard during the Franco-Prussian War of 1870-1871. After returning home from the war, he had little success with his one-act opera Djamileh, but an orchestral suite derived from his incidental music to Alphonse Daudet's play L'Arlésienne was instantly popular. The production of his final opera, Carmen, was heavily delayed because he feared that its themes of betrayal and murder would offend audiences. When it finally released on March 3, 1875, Bizet was convinced that the work was a failure. He died of a heart attack three months later. Ironically, Carmen is now recognized as Bizet’s most successful opera.
    Last edited by Lambda-Nu; September 6th, 2018 at 10:05 AM.

  9. #10169
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Might want to fix the formatting buddy
    Quest of Fate Apocrypha Universe Fate Quest "OG Fate Quest"
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    ...Are you the protagonist of a YA novel? Perhaps an otome game?
    King Prussia Today at 16:32 You're the Hermes we need, Hermes


  10. #10170
    Geminus Serpentes Lambda-Nu's Avatar
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    I have, as you can see. It took me around five edits to get the stupid thing correct.

  11. #10171
    神秘 Obscure Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    I have to say the Innocent Monster seems a little unnecessary and that part might well be more at home as a footnote in the Lore section, what with Innocent Monster specifically affecting appearance. Many other Servants also possess abilities they didn't have in life simply because their legends (or rumours about them) state that they could do such things.
    Being a Lancer because of his composer's baton is a bit of flimsy excuse, but I kinda like it. Maybe the baton might also double as a bullfighter's weapon, extending and forming a sword when needed to? Although I guess that would still make him more of a Saber (or better yet, a Caster) than a Lancer.

  12. #10172
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    I see that you tried to incorporate the suggestions but they feel really disconnected and need a lot more elaboration on why they are there and what they do, specially his class, Innocent Monster (which seems to do nothing at the moment).

  13. #10173
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    There are lancers in bullfighting. They're called "picadores". Of course, Escamilla was a matador and used a sword, but the Lancer class is fitting for bullfigting as well

  14. #10174
    See you on the other side RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    I have to say the Innocent Monster seems a little unnecessary and that part might well be more at home as a footnote in the Lore section, what with Innocent Monster specifically affecting appearance. Many other Servants also possess abilities they didn't have in life simply because their legends (or rumours about them) state that they could do such things.
    I don't think it's ever stated that Innocent Monster has to affect appearance. And with Andersen, we already have an example of a Servant gaining the Skill via conflation with their own artistic works.

  15. #10175
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    There are lancers in bullfighting. They're called "picadores". Of course, Escamilla was a matador and used a sword, but the Lancer class is fitting for bullfigting as well
    I know, I'm saying that if he wants that to be part of the Servant then he needs to elaborate more on why and how this is a thing.
    It honestly makes no sense to me that controversy about bullfighting changes a mostly unrelated guy, if he wants it to happen he needs to connect the two things or find some other justification for it, like being influence by the fame of his most popular character maybe.

  16. #10176
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I don't think it's ever stated that Innocent Monster has to affect appearance. And with Andersen, we already have an example of a Servant gaining the Skill via conflation with their own artistic works.
    "As a consequence, the Servant's abilities and appearance have been rendered to conform to the specifications of their legend."

    Straight from the wiki. That said, I don't know what was changed in Salieri's appearance, since his armor apparently comes from a different skill.

  17. #10177
    神秘 Obscure Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I don't think it's ever stated that Innocent Monster has to affect appearance. And with Andersen, we already have an example of a Servant gaining the Skill via conflation with their own artistic works.
    Well, the Skill's translation does refer to changes in ability and appearance, and all examples thus far have had their appearances changed, so... Of course, this being the Nasuverse, there's no reason there can't be an exception to this apparent rule. And just to be clear, I'm referring to the base version of Innocent Monster, not the special ones. There's also the fact that Andersen's abilities haven't (once again, according to ye olde Skill description) been altered by Innocent Monster, just his appearance.

  18. #10178
    See you on the other side RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    "As a consequence, the Servant's abilities and appearance have been rendered to conform to the specifications of their legend."

    Straight from the wiki. That said, I don't know what was changed in Salieri's appearance, since his armor apparently comes from a different skill.
    I took that just to mean that the Skill can affect appearance, not that it has to.

  19. #10179
    Searching for an Ever Distant Dream Ecksukaribruh's Avatar
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    Wait, how come there is no Beast Lucifer yet?
    Whats the use of putting anything here if no one will read this?

  20. #10180
    See you on the other side RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ecksukaribruh View Post
    Wait, how come there is no Beast Lucifer yet?
    There've been some Lucifer sheets back on the old thread, but they came out before the Beast-Class was revealed. I guess as a Beast his Evil would probably be either "Perfection" (believing himself to be perfect and looking down on humans for their imperfections) or "Jealousy" (being jealous of humans for monopolizing god's love), as "Pride" would be too close to Goetia's already established Pity.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, funnily enough, there's a good chance that the Alien God in GO's part 2 might be Lucifer (or at least a similar being), so we could actually see him in canon sometime in the near future.

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