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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #10381
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Technically yes, but you know what I mean
    Well i havent read anywhere that it must be exactly ONE Sin but my beast will be the of the overstimation.
    And about the rest in puncto legends i have in no fate/nasu source found any direct mention about Ea and invisible Air i want to say that my Servants have in this point a similar reasoning ,and about Goliaths weaponry as i had done some after-research i found out that the description of his Armor and weaponry is anachronistic and complies exact with the of a Greek/Roman Hoplit type Soldier .and in my "version" you would say is His Sword and Lancer indeed taken by David but he couldnt use them in their originally form so he had to "exorcize" their might and use the now "empty" relics as Basematerial for new one

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    How it can be expected from a pro like Hermes !
    But one Question you didnt wrothe how she would behave/what would be her behavior towards men ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacus View Post
    That's probably the best Bond CE I ever read so far
    what means Bond CE ?
    Your verified Chikara-production Studios !

    Dont ship me with anyone unless i say so !

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  2. #10382
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Bloody Mary 2.0: Generally, it was a definite improvement from the first edition with the Noble Phantasm as the highlight; it's certainly more intriguing than simply appearing after saying her name 3x, as it was in the 1.0 sheet.

    If there's anything I find as simple but good, it's the CE: so little words yet expresses the obsession in the Servant. Meanwhile I kill myself to just find a fitting subject
    The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
    Coffee would be nice, though.

    [Collection of my Servant Sheets]
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  3. #10383
    FABRICATED HISTORICAL CRISIS SYNDROME gyrowins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    One Question in the case that the Heroic Spirits have like Gilgamesh or Karna strong Willpower can the take resistence and has his nobel phantasm overtake effect any limitations ?
    They could, but in the sort of sense that they would be in control of their selves while still being within Lord Carnarvon. They couldn't resist the absorption, but they could resist the control after the fact.

    Quote Originally Posted by pinetree View Post
    His second Noble Phantasm seems quite out of place though, is there any justification as to why this mass of cursed beings has a Noble Phantasm that is just a speed blitz? Seems awfully different from the rest of the character.
    I liked the idea of it being extremely unsuited for him. This slow, powerful servant can suddenly rocket himself in a straight line as a living cannon. It made him more of a "you can't run away" type of threat.

    As for the justification, one of Wadjet's "mantles" was that of a winged snake goddess called Nazit. I thought the bright wings and powerful bursts fulfilled that sort of "winged viper strike" sort of image. However, to make it more fitting for him, I turned it from flight into just a hulk jump (one that he can do in mid-air if he's in his territory, but a hulk jump nonetheless).

  4. #10384
    神秘 Obscure Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    Well i havent read anywhere that it must be exactly ONE Sin but my beast will be the of the overstimation.
    And about the rest in puncto legends i have in no fate/nasu source found any direct mention about Ea and invisible Air i want to say that my Servants have in this point a similar reasoning ,and about Goliaths weaponry as i had done some after-research i found out that the description of his Armor and weaponry is anachronistic and complies exact with the of a Greek/Roman Hoplit type Soldier .and in my "version" you would say is His Sword and Lancer indeed taken by David but he couldnt use them in their originally form so he had to "exorcize" their might and use the now "empty" relics as Basematerial for new one

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    what means Bond CE ?
    Once more into the breach...
    Firstly, being that the Beasts (of which there are seven) are said to preside over the Seven Sins of Humanity, one might somehow get to the conclusion that each of them only has one.
    Second, the difference with Nasu's use of imagination and yours is that Invisible Air has an explanation: Merlin did it (apparently) to hide Arthur's identity as a Servant. Ea on the other hand is specifically mentioned as something that hasn't survived in modern myths. It still represents Gilgamesh's ultimate authority as King (or something).
    And despite the fact that it causes me physical pain to look at that awful Goliath of yours, your footnote-man's amazing five (and even Achilles, one of the most renowned heroes of all, summoned in Europe only had 4) NPs are as follows:
    Barakium: Demonic flame sword. Apparently Goliath took quite the frigging trip if he somehow used it against Odin. Who, if you know your myths, probably didn't hang around much in the vicinity of the Mediterranean. He also has to chant Latin to invoke it, which is ironic for a supposed champion of paganism (given that Latin is/was the official language of the Catholic Church, which isn't exactly pagan).
    Dagan: Divine bow that apparently shoots thunder, flame and curses. First, I ought to mention your lack of research, given that Baal isn't a Philistine deity, Ba'al Zebub is. Neither Ba'al Zebub or Dagon have anything to do with thunder. Not to mention that nowhere is it mentioned that Goliath even had a bow in the first place. What he did have was a javelin.
    Nih'oshet Shir'yon: Bronze armor. So it's a C-ranked armor that grants him only slightly less than the A-ranked (and invulnerable) Kavacha and Kundala that Karna has? Apparently it was also blessed by Derketo. Who is a Syrian goddess, not a Philistine one.
    Drakhios Horridikhor: Chariot drawn by two wyverns. Which are Welsh creatures. And apparently related to Leviathan, who is a sea creature. And there's the lightning again, too.
    Laboras/Lazarke: Spear stuffed with demons, blah blah darkness rah. Apparently, Goliath can also count time travel among his amazing abilities, seeing as he's managed to get a hold of a Turkish spear somehow. At least the preceding ones had some connection to their user.
    Derketo Grace: Ah, switching languages again. Some sorta divine blessing. Weird, given that, as previously mentioned, Derketo (whose actual name is Atargatis) is a Syrian goddess. Odd that Goliath would be her high priest. Especially odd given that Goliath apparently had more of a connection with Dagon.
    Philistinai Infernalis: Allows Goliath to do whatever the hell he wants, apparently. Curious that he gains powers from stuff that Christianity did away with, seeing as Goliath was defeated by someone Jewish. Deities and Daemons also have no connection with each other in the Nasuverse.

    And lastly, a Bond Craft Essence is a feature of Fate/Grand Order, where a Servant the Master bonds with on a high enough level gains a special Craft Essence (an equip-type item in Fate/Grand Order) that has a bit of Lore concerning either the Servant, their myth or their personality.

    Please do your research in the future.

  5. #10385
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bloble View Post
    mfw

    if it aint broke don't fix it

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by SleepMode View Post
    Bloody Mary 2.0: Generally, it was a definite improvement from the first edition with the Noble Phantasm as the highlight; it's certainly more intriguing than simply appearing after saying her name 3x, as it was in the 1.0 sheet.

    If there's anything I find as simple but good, it's the CE: so little words yet expresses the obsession in the Servant. Meanwhile I kill myself to just find a fitting subject
    Yeah, first BM sheet is one of the least favourite ones I did so a remake was more than needed in my book. And that's pretty much what I thought about for the CE, i rarely like any of my first draft stuff but that stuck.

    For a WIP it's gotten good commentary all things considering.

  6. #10386
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    Ea on the other hand is specifically mentioned as something that hasn't survived in modern myths. It still represents Gilgamesh's ultimate authority as King (or something).
    Ea actually does have some mythological basis in the sword the titular god used to divide heaven and earth in the Mesopotamian creation myth. Giving it to Gil is the stretch, not the weapon itself.

  7. #10387
    FABRICATED HISTORICAL CRISIS SYNDROME gyrowins's Avatar
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    As long as something comes from the same general area, it's okay to give it to a Servant. Like Viy for Anastasia, for example.

  8. #10388
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Well, since Shiki-pon has already made the (in vain, unfortunately) effort of lecturing Koga, I'll save the lectures for the next day and proceed to post Tarrare's sheet.


    Faceclaim

    Something like this, but thinner, sweaty (no lewd), and with a large mouth. Also, 18th century French clothes.


    Assassin
    Identity: Tarrare
    Height: 170 cm
    Weight: 46 kg
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Attribute: Human
    Origin: France
    Weapon: Fork
    Likes: Snake meat, not being hungry
    Dislikes: Her own smell, being hungry
    Talents: Eating anything
    Natural enemy: Her appetite

    Parameters
    Strength: C
    Endurance: D
    Agility: B
    Luck: E
    Mana: E (A)
    NP: C


    Background
    Tarrare was a French soldier and showman, known for her unusual eating habits. Since a young age, she was able to eat a quarter of her own weight in beef, what made her family kick her out of their house, unable to provide for her. She traveled France with a band of thieves and whores, before becoming the warm-up to a traveling charlatan. In Paris, she became a street performer. She ate corks, stones, baskets of apples, and even snakes.
    She later joined the French Revolutionary Army, where she’d eat from gutters and refuse heaps, unsatisfied with the military rations. Eventually, she had to be hospitalized, suffering from exhaustion. Her eating capacity was tested with medical experiments. She ate cats, snakes, lizards, a meal for 15 people, and a whole eel without chewing. Seeing this exceptional ability, the general Alexandre de Beauharanais thought it could be used with military purposes. He made Tarrare eat a box that contained documents, and after they were defecated in one piece, he decided to make her a courier. During a demonstration for the commanders of the Army of the Rhine, Tarrare ate 14 kg of raw bull’s lungs. She was then ordered to carry a message to a French colonel imprisoned by the Prussians near Neustadt, but was discovered due to her inability to speak German. She was imprisoned and forced to release the message, which was actually just a confirmation request for the colonel. Tarrare was beaten and almost executed, but was released at the last minute.
    After this unfortunate event, Tarrare wanted to avoid the military service. She returned to the hospital, where she asked for a cure to her eating disorder. Any attempt to regulate her appetite was unsuccessful. She’d sneak out to scavenge offal from butcheries and carrion that only stray dogs would normally eat. More than one time, she was found trying to eat the corpses of the morgue. The doctors pressed her friend, Baron Percy, to send her to a mental asylum, but he refused. In the end, Percy was unable to defend her, after the disappearance of a 14-month-old child.
    Four years later, Tarrare had to be interned again, bedridden and weak. She thought the cause of her weak state was a golden fork that she took from a gutter two years before, but it was actually tuberculosis. A month later, she passed away, suffering from exudative diarrhea. The dissection showed that the corpse was full of pus, with a large liver and gallbladder, and a stomach full of ulcers that filled almost all her abdomen. The fork was never found.


    Personality
    Her whole life has revolved around her insatiability, but she despises it. She would have loved to have a normal life, but no matter what she tried to do, no matter how hard she tried to resist her urges, she had to eat. Thinking about her life, she couldn’t find any motivation. Why would she do anything, if in the end the result would be the same? Everything would be reduced to eating.
    Servants don’t usually require to eat, but she still feels hungry. She needs to have food around her almost all the time, or else she’ll eat the first thing she finds near. If there is nothing, she may consider harming herself and eat her own flesh, or in the worst case scenario, her Master’s.
    Another thing that Tarrare hates about herself is her smell. Because of her condition, she's always been sweaty and stinky, even if she had just bathed. She tries really hard to hide it, but just like with her appetite, every effort is useless. If there is something that she still has motivation to do, is to mask her awful odor.
    Generally speaking, she is a shy person unable to socialize properly out of fear to cause a bad impression. Summed to her apathy and hunger, it is clear that more sounds are going to come from her stomach than from her mouth. She feels specially uncomfortable around children, cooks, animals, fat people, and well-endowed girls. After eating, she feels sleepy.


    Skills
    Class skills
    Presence Concealment D: Although suitable for spying, the rank is low and unbecoming for an Assassin, to the level that a Servant can detect her presence at one. Tarrare failed as a spy due to her inability to speak the language of the enemy, but was an expert at sneaking out of her hospital room. It could be said that she had the talent, but due to her condition, she never had the chance to develop it properly.

    Personal skills
    Mental Pollution E: A skill that provides resistance against mental interference due to one’s distorted mentality. However, mutual understanding with others is impossible unless they have an equivalent degree of insanity. Tarrare was never diagnosed with a mental illness, but she’s quite close to losing her mind due to her being constantly hungry. More than insane, you could say she is desperate.
    Awakened Body C: Each person has a different latent power within themselves, called Origin. When certain Origins awaken, some physical changes can happen, modifying the body structure to adjust it to the new abilities. Tarrare’s body shows traits, such as a wide mouth with cheeks that can be stuffed with a dozen of eggs or a stomach that occupies almost all her abdominal cavity, produced by the awakening of her Origin.


    Noble Phantasm
    Hunger for the eternity
    La Faim Pour L’Eternité
    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)

    Rank: C
    Description:
    Tarrare’s condition wasn’t an actual illness or something like that. It was actually her awakened Origin of
    to famish
    Starvation
    , an Origin that can be mistaken with
    to eat
    Consumption
    , but that isn’t very similar actually. Consumption creates a beast with the capability to hunt the prey it’s eager to devour. Starvation, however, creates the urge to eat but doesn’t provide the power to obtain food. Another difference is that someone with the Origin of Consumption becomes a predator, a carnivore, while someone with the Origin of Starvation is turned into an omnivore, able to eat anything. The curse cast on Erysicthon of Thessaly had practically the same effects as this Origin.
    This Noble Phantasm grants a strong digestive system capable of assimilating practically anything, from flesh and bone to metal and stone, without any problem. As a secondary effect, a small boost in Strength and Endurance, as well as resistance to poison, are conferred. Such a convenient ability comes at the cost of being unable to be satiated. Unless she received mana from a source of infinite energy, like the Holy Grail, she always feels hungry. Even without any failure in the summoning, she requires to eat and sleep like a normal person in order to sustain her body, but that still isn't enough to satisfy her. This will make her Master supply her with more energy than usual during a battle to avoid that she blacks out from exhaustion.


    Relationships
    Artoria Pendragon (normal and Alter), Mordred: The King of Knights has a huge appetite, and her dark version is even hungrier. Her son Mordred is quite the glutton too. Their capacity to eat is almost on the same level as Tarrare’s. Maybe a bond could have been formed through this, but…
    “Ugh, stinks! Have a shower, will ya?!”
    – Mordred
    "Ruining my meal like this… I assume you’re ready to lose your head?”
    – Artoria Alter
    “Not only you make others lose their appetite with your stench, but you hoard so much food… I consider you an enemy of meals!”
    – Artoria
    … it seems she’s not quite welcome.

    EMIYA: “Feel free to repeat as many times as you want to. What? Don’t worry, I’m used to cooking so much.”
    – EMIYA
    As he’s said, the nameless bowman has prepared food for many people during his youth. Seeing again a girl eating so much makes him feel nostalgic, but Tarrare can’t help but feel as a bother.

    Medusa (and Gorgon by definition): “That girl staring at me is drooling and breathing with intensity. Is it fine to leave her like this?”
    – Medusa
    If there is a dish that Tarrare seems to actually enjoy, that would be snake meat. Seeing a Servant related to snakes is making poor her have a really hard time. Medusa wouldn’t exactly enjoy knowing that she’s being seen as food, but she’s luckily unaware of it.

    Gawain: “I knew it… It’s no use…”
    In her quest to find a possible remedy to her problem, Tarrare was offered to try Gawain’s food. The knight was very happy to be asked by someone to try his cooking, but even Tarrare was unable to endure it for too long.

    Tawara Touta: “Can you give me back my Noble Phantasm? I kinda need it…”
    – Touta
    After seeing how that bale could generate infinite rice, Tarrare felt as if she had found the Holy Grail itself. As soon as she had a chance, she took it for herself. She could have just asked for it, though.

    Florence Nightingale: “I see, so you’re Tarrare. Don’t talk, I know perfectly why you came for. Lie there, I’ll proceed to extirpate your stomach after I sterilize everything that has been impregnated with your body odor”.
    – Nightingale
    Knowing that there is a nurse Servant, Tarrare thought she could help her. The proposed remedy was way too scary, so she ran away.


    Bond CE
    Golden Fork

    Fruit wasn’t enough.
    Fish wasn’t enough.
    Meat wasn’t enough.
    Stone wasn’t enough.
    She had eaten every sort of things, but never was satiated.
    Wandering the streets, the eternally empty girl had her presence announced by the voice of her gut.

    Suddenly, something inedible calls her attention.
    Being in the sewer, its value was probably little, but for her it instantly became her most prized possession.
    It was the first time that the desires of her heart were stronger than those of her stomach. She couldn't be more delighted.
    ‘You’ve filled me a little. Would you stay with me?’, she says with a spark in her eyes.
    A few seconds later, the tiny
    fork
    friend
    was already inside her mouth.


    Since the Tarrare posted the other day was a Berserker, I preferred going with a different class to reduce similarities. Assassin was the second most fitting class to me. Special thanks to Royd for reminding me about the existence of Origins.
    Character-wise... What can I say? This guy was hungry and apathetic. As someone who loves emotionless/unmotivated and hungry girls, I really needed to genderbend him.
    Last edited by King of Padoru; May 13th, 2018 at 01:36 PM.

  9. #10389
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Tarrare: A genderbend without a cute anime girl FC? What's even the point, man? Seriously though, this is a pretty good sheet. Though I'm not sure if her variation of Innocent Monster makes sense, as that Skill is specifically for Servants who were portrayed as monsters in legend despite not actually being one. If she was actually a monster in life, then she should just have Monstrous Strength or some similar Skill.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, it just occurred to me that this would be the worst/most perfect Servant for Ran Ru to summon...

  10. #10390
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    About the FC, I'm the one suffering the most for not finding an appropriate one. All were too pretty or too bouncy... If I find a fitting one, I'll put it.
    Skill-wise, I thought something like Innocent Monster was better than Monstrous Strength to represent the change in aspect, but had to make it a variation because the normal version was a change caused by history. I also thought about a sort of discount Natural Body or perhaps Self-Modification, but kinda felt off.

    I'm not very familiar with the characters from Extra, but Ran Ru is the crazy McDonalds clown girl, right?That'd be quite the combination...

  11. #10391
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Check Junji Ito's works, it might help
    The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
    Coffee would be nice, though.

    [Collection of my Servant Sheets]
    Now Revamped!

  12. #10392
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Thanks, I'll have a look at them

  13. #10393
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Skill-wise, I thought something like Innocent Monster was better than Monstrous Strength to represent the change in aspect, but had to make it a variation because the normal version was a change caused by history. I also thought about a sort of discount Natural Body or perhaps Self-Modification, but kinda felt off.
    I agree that normal Monstrous Strength doesn't quite fit, but neither does Innocent Monster IMO. Maybe a unique Skill deriving from her awakened Origin?

  14. #10394
    夜属 Nightkin Hakuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    Barakium: Demonic flame sword. Apparently Goliath took quite the frigging trip if he somehow used it against Odin. Who, if you know your myths, probably didn't hang around much in the vicinity of the Mediterranean.
    What a prejudice against my Odin who did hang arround in the vicinity of the Mediterranean :/

    *i'd like to point out that the link of my odin (votan) in the OP is wrong but it goes to the same page at least*

  15. #10395
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gyrowins View Post
    I liked the idea of it being extremely unsuited for him. This slow, powerful servant can suddenly rocket himself in a straight line as a living cannon. It made him more of a "you can't run away" type of threat.

    As for the justification, one of Wadjet's "mantles" was that of a winged snake goddess called Nazit. I thought the bright wings and powerful bursts fulfilled that sort of "winged viper strike" sort of image. However, to make it more fitting for him, I turned it from flight into just a hulk jump (one that he can do in mid-air if he's in his territory, but a hulk jump nonetheless).
    I see, personally I wouldn't change it to hulk jumps, just add information about that connection you just explained to the NP description.

  16. #10396
    FABRICATED HISTORICAL CRISIS SYNDROME gyrowins's Avatar
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    Oh no, that's not a change. That was the intent from the get go. He doesn't have any control over where he's going after the initial "thrust." The only way he can change course is by "jumping" again.

  17. #10397
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I agree that normal Monstrous Strength doesn't quite fit, but neither does Innocent Monster IMO. Maybe a unique Skill deriving from her awakened Origin?
    Changed. Also added a FC that fits more or less.

  18. #10398
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Changed. Also added a FC that fits more or less.
    i noticed now that your Tarrare shet/profiles dosnt have a Mana Rank why?and how is her behavior/her fighting style in aq battle ?

    PS: i am half finished at make/create the Suggestion from you at making a nameless Gladiator profille i can say you he is abilitie wise a combination between Hundred face Hassan,Spartakus and Iskandar .
    Your verified Chikara-production Studios !

    Dont ship me with anyone unless i say so !

    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  19. #10399
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    She doesn't have any mana due to her Origin of Starvation. It's the main reason why her mana cost is too elevated for a low-tier Servant like her. About her fighting style... hm, I guess it'd be like a stray dog fighting with other dog for leftovers?

  20. #10400
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    She doesn't have any mana due to her Origin of Starvation. It's the main reason why her mana cost is too elevated for a low-tier Servant like her. About her fighting style... hm, I guess it'd be like a stray dog fighting with other dog for leftovers?
    I'm pretty sure the Magical Energy Parameter is about their capacity to handle Magical Energy, not how much of it they have.
    Is the case of your sheet I would go with something like E (A).

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