The idea of a Hitler servant is just something I can't get over so I can't say anything good about it, and I'll say that I find the idea of giving him the lance of Longinus is overdone and... Just bad.
Oh, but that way of displaying parameters is great and I'll definitely copy it in some way.
Fair enough. Still, sometimes even a bad review is better than no review at all.
Get famous in America, you're American. That's literally how America works.
Unless you're Justin Bieber, Canada didn't want him, but America refuses to claim responsibility
Originally Posted by In a certain South Park episode...
Kyle Broflovski: And what happens when an invulnerable cheater comes up against an elitist corporate dictator? Eric Cartman:A perfect storm of hypocrisy that everyone in the country has to deal with for months on end.
I'm not overly fond of 'Hitler as a Servant' sheets generally, but having him be a Beast representing the "evil of prejudice" (though I would have gone with hatred (Wrath) personally) is admittedly clever.
I'm not overly fond of 'Hitler as a Servant' sheets generally, but having him be a Beast representing the "evil of prejudice" (though I would have gone with hatred (Wrath) personally) is admittedly clever.
Although I see where you're coming from, that is a bad choice. It has been repeatedly stated that the seven human vices that the Beast Class represent are fundamentally different from the seven cardinal sins. It would be wise to keep those two groups as far apart as possible.
Get famous in America, you're American. That's literally how America works.
Unless you're Justin Bieber, Canada didn't want him, but America refuses to claim responsibility
Originally Posted by In a certain South Park episode...
Kyle Broflovski: And what happens when an invulnerable cheater comes up against an elitist corporate dictator? Eric Cartman:A perfect storm of hypocrisy that everyone in the country has to deal with for months on end.
Although I see where you're coming from, that is a bad choice. It has been repeatedly stated that the seven human vices that the Beast Class represent are fundamentally different from the seven cardinal sins. It would be wise to keep those two groups as far apart as possible.
See
Originally Posted by You
Like srsly ppl the evils of humanity for the Beasts are just the seven deadly sins but phrased and conceptualized a bit nasu-y
Pity = Pride
Rapture = Lust
Comparison = Envy
From current evidence I'm pretty sure the remaining evils will have to do with wrath, gluttony, sloth, and greed but with a nasu twist
This was an idea I got from a member of this Fate/Grand Order group on Facebook. I thought it was a fairly good idea and tried to see what I could do with it.
Unfortunately, this one is a bit of a Hundred-Faced Hassan clone, but I did try to make it as unique as possible.
Class: Avenger
True Name: The Forty-Seven Ronin
Gender: Male (All personalities comprising Avenger are male)
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Strength: C
Endurance: C
Agility: B
Mana: C
Luck: B
Noble Phantasm: A
Class Skills Avenger B
A skill that gathers people's hatreds and grudges onto oneself. It is easier for one to accumulate hatred and resentment. The rate of mana generation becomes higher when receiving damage.
Memory Correction A
No matter how much time passes, Avenger will never forget their grudges. In particular, they will never forget how Kira Yoshinaka wronged their lord and drove him to commit seppuku under false pretenses.
Self-Replinishment (Mana) C
One's magical energy endlessly surges until their revenge is accomplished. Recovers a minuscule amount of magical energy every turn.
Personal Skills Expert of Many Specializations (Swordplay) A
Multiple styles of swordplay can be used with proficiency of Rank B or above. Avenger achieves this by arbitrarily changing between his multiple personalities.
Honor of the Samurai A+
A Skill derived from a samurai’s code of honor. Low ranking Mental Pollution, Bravery, Battle Continuation and others have been combined. Avenger will also have to be coerced by a Command Seal into retreating, seeing fleeing from battle as cowardly.
Shapeshift A
Avenger has a rather unique variation of this skill in that they can only transform to take the appearance of one of the ronin composing them. This skill is activated whenever Avenger switches between personailities.
Noble Phantasms
Shi-ju-shichi-shi
The Forty Seven Samurai of Asano Naganori
A
Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
A Noble Phantasm that is similar in nature to the Hundred-Faced Hassan-i-Sabbah’s Zabaniya “Delusional Illusion”. However, rather than representing multiple personalities in life, this Noble Phantasm is the representation of how Avenger was actually forty-seven samurai who sought to avenge their lord’s death and redeem his honor.
The parameters, excluding Mana, Luck, and Noble Phantasms, of each individual gradually rank down. For example, if Avenger is divided into twelve individuals (about 1/4 of its total collective personalities), each has C- Rank strength. Twenty-four individuals (about 1/2 of Avenger's personalities) will have D+ Rank Strength, and so on. Continuing from this, if all forty-seven personalities are given its own body, the individuals will have D- Rank Strength. Then, apply this principle for each of the remaining stats.
Accordingly, the Skills of each individual declines the more they divide themselves, only the Class Skills Avenger and Memory Correction suffer from no decay. Expert of Many Specializations and Shapeshift are eventually lost as the Forty-Seven Ronin divide themselves. Despite the fact that strength dwindles as the Forty-Seven Ronin divide themselves, they make for tough opponents due to sheer numbers, especially when all of the forty-seven are active.
Lore:
Spoiler:
In life, Avenger was not just one person, but rather forty-seven samurai. Their daimyo (feudal lord) Asano Naganori was compelled to perform seppuku for assaulting a corrupt court official named Kira Yoshinaka in retaliation for insulting him. Naganori’s house was abolished and his men were branded ronin (leaderless samurai). After waiting and planning for a year, the forty-seven ronin attacked and assassinated Kira to redeem Naganori’s honor. This assassination became known as the Ako Incident. Afterwards, they turned themselves in and committed seppuku for the crime of murder.
The tale of the forty-seven ronin, the Shi-ju-shichi-shi, became popular in Japanese culture as an emblem of the loyalty, sacrifice, persistence, and honor that people should preserve in their daily lives. This tale has been replicated in several fictionalized accounts, known as Chushingura, and popularized in numerous plays, including bunraku and kabuki.
When summoned as a Servant, the forty-seven ronin are summoned as an existence similar to Hassan-i-Sabbah of the Hundred Faces. When initially summoned, Avenger will take the form of Oishi Kuranosuke Yoshio, the leader of the Forty-Seven Ronin’s assassination of Kira. Despite having already avenged their lord in life, the Forty-Seven Ronin have been summoned in the state they were in while planning their revenge. Though they believe themselves to have not yet avenged Asano Naganori and strive for it still, they will still serve the Master who summons them as if they were indeed Naganori.
Last edited by Lambda-Nu; September 6th, 2018 at 10:20 AM.
Care to explain the first NP properly?, because if I understood it correctly it's Unlimited Warrior Works without any limits or flaws
it has flaws and Limits they are: to function properly Gladios must take continously middle strong injuries to function properly so they must to take a certain amount of damage to manifest a second ,it can be said that the most citical/vulnerable Phase of it is one to three bodies for Gladios, under a average Sehaisenzo a practical amount of maximal 27~ is conceivable.
and how do you think about the rest ?
- - - Updated - - -
Originally Posted by RoydGolden
Is it really fair to call it "finished" when at least two parts (Background and Personality) still say more information to come?
*cough* okay i meant abilitie wise finished ,sorry i work on These parts !
Last edited by Kabalisto Koga; April 19th, 2018 at 03:59 PM.
The skills are fine, but the Noble Phantasms are meh. As you have written the first NP in the sheet, it looks spammable af (which is the reason why I asked about its limits/flaws), and the third part is a stretch for me. But this is very good coming from you, considering how messed up your previous sheets were (now if you could make the writing be less painful...). Congratulations for your improvement
Why even give her Memory Correction? Having this in particular as a personal skill is already weird considering so far it seems to be just the way the Avenger class prevents the Servant from ever moving on from their vengeance.
And your skill doesn't even do anything remotely similar. Just make a new skill instead.
I won't comment on the Noble Phantasms because the first function of the first one is already a mess, maybe ask again after you rewrite the sheet with proper English.
It appears in the middle of the night. A Servant, radiating power on level with the King of Heroes himself; your Servant wakes you in a hurry, saying that now is a good time to run. And so, you run, as far and as fast as you could possibly go; any thought of returning to your house later for what you had left behind is not given much attention. But the mysterious Servant only seems to get closer. Your Servant is wary, to say the least, but it seems the only option now is to fight. You prepare yourself... and she comes into view. A young woman, with hair pale as snow, skin of nearly the exact same shade and vibrant, gleaming red eyes, wearing a red, white and gold dress so elegant and powerful that, were it not likely a Servant's Noble Phantasm, it could only belong to some sort of deity. Every visible inch of skin below her neck is covered in runes, scarlet and glowing like your own Command Seals, and your Servant stops mid-blow, staring in astonishment.
"Hello," she greets, warmly. "I am the Servant that the Holy Grail calls 'Alpha Ruler.' I had wanted to talk... my apologies if I frightened you," she adds, after a moment, looking slightly sheepish.
Slowly, your jaw drops.
ALPHA RULER Justeaze Lizrich von Einzbern
There are no big, high-quality Justeaze pictures anywhere on the Internet, apparently. I am disappointed. Still, think Irisviel, but wearing the Dress of Heaven.
ADDITIONAL TITLES: Heart of the Greater Grail, Arbitrator of Heaven’s Feel, Harmonious Culmination of the Threefold Lesser Grail SUMMONING CATALYSTS: N/A ALIGNMENT: Lawful Good LEGEND: Historical Fact (Nasuverse | Fate/stay night and just about everything connected to it) REGION: Variable, depending on where the Greater Grail is located
STR: ＊＊＊＊＊ E+ END: ＊＊＊＊＊ D+ AGI: ＊＊＊＊＊ E++ MAG: ＊＊＊＊＊ EX LCK: ＊＊＊＊＊ B+ NOBLE PHANTASM: ＊＊＊＊＊ EX
SEX: Female HEIGHT/WEIGHT: 158cm / 52kg ATTRIBUTE: Star LIKES: Humanity, kindness, bravery, the “strong and silent” type DISLIKES: Frivolous wishes, greed, cruelty, those who treat people as tools, worms MORTAL ENEMY:
Angra Mainyu
All the World’s Evil
ARMAMENT: The Dress of Heaven Mystic Code, crystallized as a Noble Phantasm GRAIL WISH: N/A
Class Skills: Embodiment of God’s Will — EX An upgrade to the God’s Resolution Skill, meant to denote a Spirit wholly manifested from the Holy Grail itself.
At this rank, Alpha Ruler is provided with three Command Seals per Servant, covering her whole body, for a maximum of either twenty-one or fourty-two (for seven or fourteen, respectively); these can be used on any Servant except for those of the Avenger class and Alpha Ruler herself.
Additionally, Alpha Ruler possesses the ability to add or remove from another Master’s Command Seals. She cannot raise them above three Seals, however; nor can she remove them all completely. Similarly, she cannot create new Masters or provide defeated Masters with new Command Seals.
As the conscious manifestation of the Greater Grail, Alpha Ruler possesses almost the highest level of authority over the Holy Grail War; the only entity that surpasses her is the Grail itself.
True Name Discernment — EX A Skill permitting a Servant to learn the identity and abilities of a fellow Servant at a glance. At this rank, Alpha Ruler is automatically provided with full access to every Servant’s identity and stats upon her summoning.
As an incarnated aspect of the Holy Grail, Alpha Ruler knows the identities of the Heroic Spirits participating in the Holy Grail War as innately as one knows how to breathe.
Personal Skills: Discernment of the Poor — B A Skill denoting one’s skill at seeing through another's aspect and character. At this rank, Alpha Ruler can usually see through any lies or excuses that she might be told.
Alpha Ruler is the shared consciousness of three different individuals from across history, all of whom had wildly different views on life, and has vague recollections of the personalities of various Heroic Spirits summoned up until the Holy Grail War she is summoned into. This makes her specially gifted at psychology, to say the least.
Alchemy — A++ A Skill denoting one's proficiency in the branch of Thaumaturgy known as Alchemy, specializing in the study and manipulation of matter. At this rank, the Servant can be said to have an encyclopedic knowledge of Alchemy; they might have even created a Philosopher’s Stone at one point.
As the master of the Einzbern family of Magi, partial creator of the Heaven’s Feel ritual and precursor to the modern-day “Justeaze” Homunculi that came to follow her, Alpha Ruler’s primary identity can easily be said to have been one of the greatest Alchemists in the world. (Although it should be noted that she did not, as a matter of fact, create a Philosopher's Stone.) Her Spiritual incarnation is no different, bearing total knowledge of the Einzbern branch of Alchemy and proficiency in all other branches, to one extent or another.
Goddess's Divine Core — C+
A Skill that expresses one being a perfected goddess from birth. A composite Skill that comprises the Skill Divinity, preserves the absoluteness of the mind and the body, repels all mental interference, prevents the body from growth and prevents the figure from change no matter how much calories are absorbed.
As Alpha Ruler is not a Goddess nor derived from a Divine Spirit, being instead an extension of an artifact that could be said to possess godly power, she is limited to a C+ rank in this Skill. The effects are still fairly noticeable, but not 'all-powerful.'
Magecraft (Wish Granting) — A++
A Skill embodying the Einzbern family's Sorcery Trait: the ability to skip the thaumaturgical process altogether, and recreate miracles through just the use of magical energy. It's still bound to the limitations of the Magic Circuits, of course. At this rank, Alpha Ruler has total control over this ability and — through her ludicrously large Mana stores — can cast nearly any spell, even those that are hidden away by other families of Magi. True Magic is beyond this, however (excluding the Third, but that manifests as a Noble Phantasm, anyway), and she can still exhaust her Mana supplies if she performs enough high-power spells in a short enough duration.
As the former head of the Einzberns, it is only natural that Justeaze would possess this Skill. Her nature as an aspect of the Holy Grail only furthers the potential of her innate Sorcery Trait, allowing her to replicate miracles without much difficulty.
NOBLE PHANTASM
Heaven’s Feel
Purpose of The Divine Artifact Made By Mortal Man
Rank: A+++ True Magic Range: 1~10 Max. Targets: 1 The Holy Grail was designed to create a pathway to the Third True Magic; immortality through crystallization of the Soul, or Heaven’s Feel. It still possesses the capacity to grant this to any entity that wishes for it, Master and Servant alike.
Alpha Ruler, herself, is capable of wielding a heavily-weakened variety of this Magic, posthumously becoming the world's first (and likely last) Wielder of the Third True Magic. With vast Mana stores (although as a Servant they hardly rival that of the Holy Grail, limiting her abilities), she can transfer a Soul between containers without harming it, or heal spiritual damage that cannot be undone by any mortal Magecraft. If she's willing to completely expend herself and die in the process, she can even fully incarnate a Servant into flesh and blood, negating their need for Mana to live. (Due to the fact that complete Mana deprivation is rather problematic for humans as well, this does not work on herself outside of extraordinary circumstances.)
Although the Holy Grail itself requires no such instruments to channel its power through, Alpha Ruler must use the Dress of Heaven to channel the Mana required for this ability, or the sheer amount of Mana being spent all at once may overload her. It has manifested as a Noble Phantasm for this reason alone.
PERSONALITY
”All I wish is that a good man or woman will find their wish. That is the purpose of the Holy Grail, and so it is mine, too.”
Alpha Ruler is not quite just Justeaze, but for the most part their personalities are the same. Alpha Ruler is a calm, unfailingly polite and idealistic young woman, with almost messianic levels of love for the human race after seeing all the good it has wished for; unlike the other homunculus Lesser Grails that followed her, she has also been heavily exposed to the uglier side of the world — there are quite a lot of evil wishes, after all — so her natural idealism is remarkably resolute in the face of
Angra Mainyu
All the World’s Evil
. She can be somewhat aloof or even cold at times, but this is mostly a side effect of her being aware of her temporary nature as a Servant; she has no desire to make attachments when she knows they won’t last.
In serious matters (that is, essentially the entire Holy Grail War) she often acts exactly as the Ruler class is supposed to: as a referee, overseeing the seven Masters to ensure they do not cause unnecessary damage to the site of the War, harm too many innocents, and, most importantly of all: that they don’t waste their wish. Being told that a Master desires something that they don’t even need the Holy Grail to obtain — Waver Velvet’s desire for recognition, for instance — or desires terrible things — such as the wish of
Angra Mainyu
Avenger
to become All the World’s Evil — is a good way to make her usually friendly personality lose its warmth. She has no patience for those who would waste or corrupt a miracle.
She still bears aspects of the two Lesser Grails, of course. She has Illyasviel’s sense of humor and fun, for instance; and Irisviel’s wide-eyed innocence and gentleness. Justeaze herself regards them with immense fondness, saying that she almost wishes she could have known her “descendants” without having to make them a part of her. Any accusations of actually wishing for that will be countered by her pointing out that Rulers can't desire wishes like that.
Curiously, she can also be somewhat shier and more dependent than Justeaze actually was, being reluctant to voice her opinion during heated situations (such as arguments between friends or allies) and often deferring to other Servants during alliances, unless she herself feels very strongly on the matter at hand (that is, when the Holy Grail is directly involved). Although she has no recollection of any Lesser Grail with those personality traits, a few other select individuals may be able to guess through one singularly bizarre fact: she’s terrified of worms.
LORE
Most Magi know about the Heaven’s Feel ritual, or the Holy Grail War; not as many (but still a large amount) are aware of how it began. It was an attempt to reach the Third True Magic — immortality through crystallization of the Soul — begun by three individuals of three powerful families of Magi. Justeaze Lizrich von Einzbern was one of them; she developed the ritual of Heaven’s Feel, and became the core of the Greater Grail — the mind and Magical Circuit through which it would operate.
The first ritual failed, of course. Justeaze Lizrich von Einzbern died for nothing at all, and her efforts ultimately doomed her companions and their families to at least two hundred and fifty years of strife. But a part of her lived. Much as the entity that is
Angra Mainyu
All the World’s Evil
would one day come to reside within the Holy Grail, the Grail took the consciousness of its first vessel unto itself, immortalizing her as the Greater Grail forever. Or, well, until it's destroyed.
Such is the fate that awaits all of the humanoid Lesser Grails, to some extent; their identities will be subsumed into the Holy Grail, becoming part of the nebulous consciousness that guides it. Irisviel von Einzbern and Illyasviel von Einzbern, for example. But what does this mean? And what is the purpose of Alpha Ruler?
Alpha Ruler is the first 'Ruler' of the Holy Grail War and the Holy Grail’s answer to the Grand Servants, summoned solely in a time where
Angra Mainyu
All the World’s Evil
(or something just as bad) manages to summon itself into the world as a Servant and attempt to achieve its wish. She is all of the humanoid Lesser Grails whose existences and roles are guaranteed at once, from Justeaze to Illyasviel — regardless of when Alpha Ruler is summoned — with the original as the primary mind. Her goal is simply to safeguard the Grail from the influence of
Angra Mainyu
All the World’s Evil
, so that the Holy Grail War does not end in guaranteed Armageddon.
Ultimately, Alpha Ruler should have also been the one that speaks to the winner of the Holy Grail War, just before granting their wish; but that role was stolen by
Angra Mainyu
All the World’s Evil
, having sneaked in under the guise of an antihero born of mankind's darkest wishes. Justeaze sleeps forever hence, as the Grail crumbles around her and Evil has already won. Only
manifestation of the Shadow
the beginning of the end
might even have a chance to wake her; and by then, it may very well be too late.
MISCELLANY
Bond Lines 1: “A ‘third-rate Magus,’ you say? Heh. Do not worry, Master; worse Magi than you have become great heroes.” 2: “I never imagined a ‘Holy Grail War’ happening. It’s... disappointing, but I know it was for the best, somehow.” 3: “Mm? What were the other two like? Well... Nagato-kun was remarkably serious, most of the time. It was a sight to see, when he wasn’t! Zolgen... ah... er, I think I would prefer not to talk about Zolgen.” 4: “You know, I’ve never questioned the Holy Grail’s choice of Servants. It always picks those that are best for their Masters, no matter who they turn out to be. Even if the Master and Servant themselves are distasteful... I always admire how well they ultimately get along. Just like...” 5: “I know I won’t be able to stay, when this is over. But... I’ll serve you to the best of my abilities, until then. And, if you could remember me when I’m gone... I would like that very much, [Name].”
Relationships Emiya Kiritsugu: “Ah, I remember you... you were worthy of a wish. It’s a shame what happened.” Irisviel von Einzbern: “It’s almost like looking into a mirror... ha. You had a wonderful life when you could, and I’m happy you were able to. Perhaps we will be able to continue it here?” Emiya Shirou:"Still fighting, I see... good luck, then. I know I can't talk you out of it. Do try not to lose yourself along the way... I've seen enough tragedies in our family for a lifetime." Illyasviel von Einzbern: “Oh, you’re so young, still... goodness. But it’s just physical, isn’t it? Pardon me. It’s fun, isn’t it?” Arturia Pendragon: “Ah, King of Knights. Irisviel remembers you fondly... and of all the Servants, I think I like you the best now, myself. You have changed your wish, right?” Arturia Pendragon (Alter): “...I’m so sorry.”
Angra Mainyu
Avenger
:“Oh, it’s... you. If absolutely nothing else, could you please put a shirt on? The tattoos hurt my eyes.” Matou Sakura: "You remind me of someone. I'm not sure who... ah, well. How is your family, these days? Zolg— ah, Zouken treats you well, I presume?"
Zolgen Makiri
Matou Zouken
:"You're... Zolgen? I... didn't recognize you. What happened?... what have you done to yourself?"
NOTES
Been done before, I know. A long time ago, too. That actually inspired me to do it, sort of; I'd already had the idea before, but that other sheet inspired me to go all the way with it, when I saw it. Not much else to say, other than draw more Justeaze art damn you
Oh, and by the way, Connection to the Root is a real Skill, apparently. I was surprised, too.
Last edited by Lethildiren; April 20th, 2018 at 06:04 PM.
Reason: More relationships. Minor modifications to the lore. New Skill. At this rate, I'm surprised I didn't add a faceclaim.
Originally Posted by pinetree
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