Create-A-Servant 2

[Lambda-Nu]

The Beasts are supposed to be apocalyptic threats. That's the point.

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VritraI'm not really seeing what makes them a Beast aside from being a really dangerous monster. Beast's are supposed to be existential threats to humanity that end up destroying it because of some kind of twisted sense of love for it. Compared to Swole Demon King Salmon and Mama Tiamat, they seem kind of more like an Avenger really.

I just thought that this would be an interesting idea when I saw Crying's post about ideas he wouldn't get around to. Didn't really think about that, though.

Which for the record, I'm not saying it's a badly made sheet, but I'm just not getting the feeling they're a Beast.

Thanks though.

[Der Ritter]

Also, Nega-Moksha seems kinda out of line with the equivalent Skills of the other Beasts, since it doesn't seem to "negate" anything. It seems like something that could have just been packed with his NP.

[SleepMode]

I know I'm late, but Sir Gareth was adorable.

On Vritra, I have to agree with Der Ritter here that the Nega-Moksha Skill doesn't really work all that well. Maybe replace it with something akin to anti-Power-Up/vitality, absorbing his opponents' boosts via "drinking" them -- symbolizing his consumption of Soma and his title as "The One Who Has Covered Everything."

[Lambda-Nu]

Thank you. I've made a few adjustments to Vritra. Hope you like them.

[RoydGolden]

I agree with Ritter that the one thing Vritra is lacking as a Beast is love for humanity. From his profile, he just seems to want to cause draughts for the sake of it, I don't see how that stems from (twisted) love at all. The rest of the sheet is fine though, so that's probably something you could fix just by fleshing out his personality a bit more.

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On Vritra, I have to agree with Der Ritter here that the Nega-Moksha Skill doesn't really work all that well. Maybe replace it with something akin to anti-Power-Up/vitality, absorbing his opponents' boosts via "drinking" them -- symbolizing his consumption of Soma and his title as "The One Who Has Covered Everything."

That reminds me, did we ever know what Goetia's Nega-Summon did? The rest of the Nega Skills we've seen fit the format you described, but I don't recall ever finding out about that one.

[SleepMode]

That reminds me, did we ever know what Goetia's Nega-Summon did? The rest of the Nega Skills we've seen fit the format you described, but I don't recall ever finding out about that one.

"Nega-Summon which cancels all Noble Phantasms of summoned Servants either by absorbing them or negating them. There is only one "Exception" and because of this exception, this skill that had absolute authority (i.e. ★) is ranked down to EX."

This is from the Wiki so I may be dreadfully wrong about this.

[RoydGolden]

"Nega-Summon which cancels all Noble Phantasms of summoned Servants either by absorbing them or negating them. There is only one "Exception" and because of this exception, this skill that had absolute authority (i.e. ★) is ranked down to EX."

This is from the Wiki so I may be dreadfully wrong about this.

Ah, okay. That's rather different then what I'd thought. Thanks.

[Crying]

Vritra: Hey, you did it! I wasn't expecting it to be done so soon tbh, so good job. Anyway...

As has been pointed out, Vritra is missing the 'twisted love for humanity' that serves as a motivation for his Evil - he does have the Evil of Consumption fairly well represented, however. Given his whole 'force materialism upon people' thing combined with the backstory you've chosen for him (created to kill Indra) and the fact that he has a little tech stuff in his faceclaim, maybe you could make his motivation a desire to 'rid humanity of the gods/spiritual forces' or something? I mean, the Evil of Consumption was already conceptually tied to humanity ending the Age of Gods and ridding the world of Mystery when discussing a Beast Fenrir earlier in the thread so it could work here. Like, you could make it so that Vritra believes that humans have a great future as the inheritors and rulers of the world but they're too caught up with the Divine Spirits and Magecraft and all that crap from the past age, so he tries to force them to progress but takes it way too far (the being representing the Evil of Consumption [Greed/Gluttony] not being able to control themselves/their power very well seems fitting) and ends up destroying everything. Hell, maybe Sambara Fortresses could start draining the world of mana too and forcing the world into an early version of the Land of Steel, too?

Nega-Soma isn't bad in effect or anything, but it doesn't seem like a Nega Skill if you know what I mean. Nega-Saver cancelled the Skills of Rulers and Savers and made Kiara super good at buffing herself and charming people while Nega-Genesis essentially went 'lolnope' to 99% of Noble Phantasms while Nega-Soma lowers the parameters of enemy Servants and acts like a buffed version of Blood Fort Andromeda or something, you didn't explain it super well. Tying into both what I said in the above paragraph and what Soma actually is/was, maybe Nega-Soma acts as a kind of "anti-divinity" Skill in the same way that Nega-Genesis acts as an "anti-humanity" Skill - it nullifies immortality, drains away Divinity and other forms of Mystery until only mundane human stuff remains and maybe seals or lowers the rank of Skills derived from 'enlightenment/asceticism/etc' or from religion?

Outside of that, Vritra's problems are kind of minor. I'd give him a lower rank in Authority of the Beast since he didn't really even interact with humans in his myth, let alone k ill them - his beef was with the Daeva. Vritra having both Monstrous Strength and Natural Monster seems kind of pointless/excessive but its not a real problem - maybe replace one with Breath of the Dragon (and specify that he uses his tail-mouth to breath fire or whatever it is he does) or something else to tie him to the concept of dragons?

Outside of all of that, I like it. Good job

[pinetree]

Spearfinger: I don't know much about native american legend but she is creepy alright, pretty simple but it seems like it comes from a very simple folklore to begin with. Her skills could use more description, but I think that's more a personal thing, I tend to write really long skill descriptions whenever possible.


Asteropaeus: She's cool but it's bugging me that I don't remember her from the Illiad at all...
Really like how you got a NP out of such a small thing about the river, it's the classic Fate motto: Stretch, Syncretize, Bullshit. It can lead to some amazing stuff.


Morgiana: Honestly, just the presentation of the sheet already earns you many points, this is just really cool. Syncretizing (here it is again!) her with the unknown Hassan is really creative and the execution is really well done. Good stuff all around.
My only critic is that in Strange Fake it's pretty obvious that the unknown Hassan is Faldeus' True Assassin and I expected to see some more connection there, though I guess it isn't confirmed they're the one so you have the creative liberty to not use them.

Edit: corrected and changed some minor things in Gareth, nothing worth the reread I think.

Also

Holly Kauri this is a wonderfull profile hadnt thought she is such a Lancelot groupie (i wonder how she and Berserker Lot react if they see/meet each other ,Really !?),one point in atleat grand order i read that Gareth is officialy a *Lady* Gareth .

Yeah, Gareth is actually a woman in Fate canon.

Gareth: Very nice, very adorable. I made my own when translations of Camelot/Zero were coming out but yours is pretty dang nice too.

I find it very interesting how we got mostly the same concepts in the Personal Skills but utilized completely different skills to represent them. Her NP is a nice connection to Gawain, though it feels a bit heavy handed to just give her a more complicated version of her brother's skill, even changing the order of the knights for it to fit.
I hadn't realized the thing about her powerlevel among the Round Table though, yours I can see but mine seems quite underpowered in an organization in which Bedivere is supposed to be the only "regular human".

I know I'm late, but Sir Gareth was adorable.

Thanks man.

[Crying]

On another note, I'm surprised nobody has made a Beast out of the 'Dangerous Beast' yet. Or even a 'Dangerous Beast' Servant at all, really

[King of Padoru]

Spearfinger: I don't know much about native american legend but she is creepy alright, pretty simple but it seems like it comes from a very simple folklore to begin with. Her skills could use more description, but I think that's more a personal thing, I tend to write really long skill descriptions whenever possible.

Yeah well, I tend to write short descriptions because I don't usually make up skills. Maybe Song of Livers could use a longer description, but who doesn't know what Monstrous Strength or Shapeshift do?

[Spartacus]

Maybe add descriptions of why they got those Skills, not just its usage.

[Kabalisto Koga]

sorry pinetree two Questions : First how would you think react Lancelot as Berserker when he see a Round table knight and how would Gareth react if she sees Lancelot as Berserker ? And you didnt have said something about my finished Suhrawardi !

[Kabalisto Koga]

On another note, I'm surprised nobody has made a Beast out of the 'Dangerous Beast' yet. Or even a 'Dangerous Beast' Servant at all, really

Ahm sorry could you explain me what do you mean with Dangerous beasts ,and are Beast servants not "dangerous" enough ?

[King of Padoru]

I think he means a Craft Essence from FGO in which Mash has a sexy wolf costume

[Kabalisto Koga]

About Beast servants before i make one but before just to be sure a beast represent /embody a particular human sin,have independet Manifestation and a Negativ rank down skill that reduce the enemy parameters ? And must it be a charackter oc the past or also is a future beast possible ? How would it be as.concept Beast Chimera that was used and empowered by Gaia as Beast of Greed because the human gen engineering interferenced with the will of Gaia so she/it used the Greek chimera as model and vessel of a Counter-creature that consists out of the Mythologic beasts ...What is your oppinion ?

[Shiki-pon]

About Beast servants before i make one but before just to be sure a beast represent /embody a particular human sin,have independet Manifestation and a Negativ rank down skill that reduce the enemy parameters ? And must it be a charackter oc the past or also is a future beast possible ? How would it be as.concept Beast Chimera that was used and empowered by Gaia as Beast of Greed because the human gen engineering interferenced with the will of Gaia so she/it used the Greek chimera as model and vessel of a Counter-creature that consists out of the Mythologic beasts ...What is your oppinion ?

First: Do some of your own research. We all got it from a source, doubtless you can find one as well. Second: Don't try and make things that you don't fully understand.

As for your question: Beast-class Servants represent an Evil of Humanity (one each). These Evils are outright stated not to be the seven deadly sins. All Beasts appear to have Independent Manifestation and a Nega-Something to them (the somethings thus far seen have been -Savior, -Summoning and -Genesis). Some of them also have Authority of the Beast.
Most likely a Beast should be something of the past, given that future stuff hasn't happened yet (and Beasts are a little too big of a deal to use OCs with). The Chimera thing doesn't sound good at all, given that the chimera was a one-off monster in Classical mythology, and not a very significant one at that. It also had nothing to do with Gaia, nor was it in any way connected to Greed as far as I can tell (in addition to Greed not being one of the Beasts' Evils). Gaia also doesn't have anything to do with the Beasts, seeing as the Beasts are creatures that obtain their standing from humanity (or something to that effect - Gaia is the will of the Earth, not humanity).
And given that we've been over this Beast thing before, maybe do your own research in the future. Or at least go to thread where the point is to ask questions on Nasuverse lore.

[Lambda-Nu]

Crying: Thanks. And I've added the adjustments you recommended.

I'm currently working on some of the other concepts you mentioned; Lostbelt Artoria, Karl Marx, and Robespierre.

[Crying]

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[Kabalisto Koga]

Thank you you though Shiki-pon and is it forbidden to repeat and being corrected with issues ?
By the way which abilities would you(all) atest Herodot the father of history ?