Hmm, I think it'd be hard for me to suggest anything without knowing about what Heroic Spirits you're intending these weapons for. The same NP can have very different effects depending on the Heroic Spirit who wields it, after all. Still, I'll try my best to give some suggestions. I know you PMed me about this, but I'm replying here for posterity.
Honjo Masamune- Since it was the most famous of Masamune's swords and its anecdote of cutting through a general's helmet in one blow, I'd imagine as an NP it'd be able to cut through anything, from physical armors to abstract concepts like time and distance. Seems like a suitably BS power for the Nasuverse to me.
Sayala Mace- Maybe something to do with summoning illusions of the animals depicted on it to attack? Kind of like Lance's Real Moment ability from the manga Rave Master.
Reichsschwert- As a sword of divine authority, I imagine it'd have abilities related to divine protection or coronation in some way. I also recall a theory identifying it with Roland's sword Durandal, so maybe you could work that in somehow. Or just make it a beam-sword with some flavor to set it apart from the likes of Caliburn.
Inariyama- No clue. Sorry.
Arkalochori Axe- Apparently it was dedicated to the god Tammuz, so perhaps an ability related to shepherding or fertility? Honestly I'm a little stumped on this one as well.
Shichishito- There's a legend that the sword was forged one hundred times and could slay a hundred enemies, so maybe give it the ability to split into a hundred copies that the wielder can command (kind of like a weaker UBW/Gate Of Babylon). Either that or a divine authority/coronation ability like Reichsschwert.
Surtalogi- As far as I know there's no sword with this name in Norse Myth, but I presume you're referring to Surt's nameless sword here. The most obvious idea here is some kind of fire-powered anti-world beamu attack representing how he consumed the Nine Realms in flame. Since it was used to slay gods, you could also give it a bonus against divine enemies. If you want something more, there's an interesting legend that Surt's sword was actually the same as the sword Frey gave away to marry Gerda, adding a layer of poetic irony to the whole thing. Therefore you could make Surt's sword a corruption of Frey's, sort of like Excalibur Morgan.
Szczerbiec- Wasn't there a paradox surrounding the sword where its wielder Boleslaus struck it against the Golden Gate of Kiev despite the fact that the Golden Gate hadn't even been built at the time? You could probably derive some sort of causality warping ability from that, like letting him attack the opponent before actually drawing the blade. That and a boost in power when attacking fortified structures, to represent the whole gate-bashing incident.
Hope this helps!
Last edited by RoydGolden; July 5th, 2018 at 02:49 PM. Reason: Forgot Inariyama and came up with a slight idea for the axe
Melia: Curious, I would have thought that as the Meliae are a group of nymphs the character would be closer to a nature spirit/elemental and the like. Doesn't strike me as the kind that would rise to a heroic spirit status like Asterios or Gorgon. If you wanted to go for a nature based hero and power them up in nature, i would have figured the likes of Vivian or Nimue would have been more obvious.
As for the sheet itself, stats seem alright I guess. Skills are nice aside from Wisdom of Warfare which seems a little derivative of Chiron and Scathach's skill. perhaps something more similar to Tengu's Art of War would have been better but that's just my opinion.. The spear is just Diarmuid's two spears slapped together which to be honest is bland and forgettable (then again I've only posted WIPs lately so there's that) The shield is good though , I like that one.
Thjálfi: Solid in every aspect from concept to excecution just don't use the word 'trap' though.
Simo Hayha: No EX's or Reality Marbles? -50/10
Jeanne de Clisson: Alright, but doesn't particularly stand out to your others and the NP is easily the most interesting thing mechanically speaking. Ultimately she strikes me more as a character more focused on their... well character rather than what they can do.
Isabel I: Mechanically she's exactly how I imagined Abraham Lincoln to function but as a Caster and the functionality is quite interesting too.
Chekhov: This is a good NP. Everything else is all fine and well but the NP makes the sheet.
Yi Sun-sin: Neat. Like every aspect is good, great even! He's probable the reason I don't rate Jeanne because he's just Better.
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Last edited by Kabalisto Koga; July 5th, 2018 at 03:47 PM.
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Oh no, Shiki please stop! You'll kill whoever is going to update the FP! :'D
Literally Shiki
Might as well put the link to Shiki's compilation of his own sheets and say "this is it"
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To be honest I decided to write her just because I read a book recently that featured the Meliae. You're right that she probably wouldn't qualify as a Heroic Spirit, but GO shows that non-Heroic Spirits and even gods can be summoned as Servants anyways so I don't think that's a big deal. Her first NP is admittedly a little generic. I tried hard to think of how to make the concept more interesting, but ultimately I couldn't come up with anything else.
Last edited by RoydGolden; July 5th, 2018 at 05:19 PM.
That part of me that has finished a sheet and wants to show it here, but the other part of me is reluctant because it is of a character that features prominently in a fanfic I'm writing (So spoilers). But then there's the third side of my inner conflict called "will I ever actually care enough to finish this thing?", hence I should just post it anyway... Stupid mind o' mine.
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True name: meleager(2.0).
Class: saber.
alternate class: berserker.
Likes: respect, feasting, honor, and hunting.
Dislikes: disrespect, hunger, cheating, curses, Artemis, and prejudice.
Alightment: lawful good.
Armaments: conceptual clothes.
Hight: 5"9
hair: blond.
Eyes: gold.
Parameters:
Strength: B
agility: B
mana: C-
endurance: B
luck: A
Np: A+.
class skills:
magic resistance
rank: B+
he is granted with decent magic resilience, and requires spell of A rank or higher to damage him.
Riding:
C.
He was taught basic ridding in life, and has no legends serving to show any excellence in ridding, as such he as a low rank in this skill, he is able to ride most mounts, and can ride modern mounts with moderate skill, but is unable to ride magical mounts.
Personel skills:
hatred of disrespect.
a skill specific to meleager for the tune he killed his own brothers for their disrespect towards Atalanta, once disorients someone else his skill is able to be activated, it makes him one rank stronger then his opponent at the cost for complete temporary loss of sanity.
Bravery
rank: B
as somone who bravely defended Atalanta, despite knowing the consequences of such an action he is granted this skill, at this rank it becomes possible to negate mental interference that hinders combat performance.
Guardian knight
rank: E
when protecting somone else his mental fortitude increases by a small amount.
Charisma
rank: C-
suitable for one who lead a gradual of hunters including Atalanta to succefully kill the calydonian boar, but ultimately had to deal with strife within his group.
Backstory: meleager was born to the king Oeneus and Altheae, however when he was born the fates visited his mother and put his string of fate and bound into a peace of wood and told his mother that should the wood ever be lit on fire meleager would die on the spot, as such his mother protected with her life hiding it and only telling meleager when he was 16 about its existence, whoever teh land at the time was cursed by artemis with Caledonian boat, and he gathered a small group of hunters including two brothers, and was able to get the help Atalanta, during the hunt Atalanta was able to get first blood, and meleager landed the last blow on the boar. Meleager then offered Atalanta the boars hide since she drew first blood. However his two brothers were unhappy with this and disrespected Atalanta, causing meleager to go into a blood curdling rage and kill his two brothers. When his mother heard the news of what he did to his brothers she threw the wood into the fire in fit of rage and grief, cuaseing meleager to burn to ashes and die.
Personality: meleager is an honor driven individual, who loves to feast much to peril of his masters wallet, he also has bad habit of immediantly exucuting people for disrespect towards others, he is known be very trusting, and will entrust the wood to his master, and follow their plans so long as he sees the plan as suitably honorable. His ultimate wish for the grail is not a second chance at life, but rather to meet Atalanta at least once more, and have an honorable duel with her, as he sees her as the greatest warrior he's ever known, and fanboy obbessed with her, and draw proprietary of her and place them all over his master as if worshipping her.
NPs:
tittle: the wood upon which my fate lies.
Name: tree bark of destiny.
Rank: A+
So long as the wood has not been burned or destroyed, he is unkilliabke on the battle, as fate, castuality, and destiny are altered so that no matter teh scenario he will not die, it will be to other servants to be simple luck, however it much greater then luck, for example an arrow may be aimed at his heart but suddenly An NP will destroy, or he'll notice in the nick of time, however the wood does not make unbeatable or indestructible, it is possible to trap or incapacite, and it is rendered useless when facing a god, or one the fates. He must also be within at least mile of the wood or will burn to ash and die.
Tittle: he whoever draws first blood may take the spoils of the hunt.
Name: spoils of first blood.
rank: A.
A representation of the when he gave Atalanta the boars hide since she drew first blood, as such once he marks a servant for the hunt who ever attacked then first and dealt damage will be given one of that servants NPs, regardless of weather it has physical presence, example gods hand. The skill and ability to use the NP will be granted to that person but they will never be able to use it at the same level as its original owner, the NP will not activate if meleager is the one to draw first blood, thus meleager cannot take an NP for himself.
Tittle: sword upon which the final blood shall be thrust.
Name: sword of the final blow.
Rank: B+
The he sword gains an immediant damage boost to those who natures are similar to that of a monster, example the minator, it's most prominent ability is that once someone is struck by the blade their fate is forever altered so that no matter what the final blow that will kill them will be received from him, however the NP is only active while he alive so killing him will get rid of this curse.
Last edited by venomking; July 6th, 2018 at 02:59 PM.
Meleager: This is definitely your best version of the guy so far. His second NP is very weird due to how situational it is, though I suppose it'd be more useful for a faction-based Grail War like in Apocrypha. Does "first blood" just refer to the particular battle in which he invokes it or the War as a whole? (Because if the latter, it sounds even more impractical)
His sword NP is quite cool, I like that one a lot. Also I can't help but notice that his Hatred Of Disrespect has no listed rank.
So... this sheet is really good. Stats seem to be on-point, the NPs are a nice balance of power and trickery and his personality has a quirk which makes him a little less tropey. Pitting him against servants with "instant death" abilities like Cu Chulainn's Gae Bolg would be hilarious because I'm pretty sure the spear just wouldn't work
That being said... all this effort seems wasted when the formatting and grammar of the sheet is so poor. So first and foremost I'd employ some program that can detect misspellings and capitalization errors. I think the latest Word does that, and Google Docs at least has a built-in dictionary. If you can squash out those mistakes you'll do more justice to the actual quality of this sheet.
Second, you need to make some formatting here. When all the titles and headers are just plain text the entire thing feels kind of clunky and awkward to read. You should probably do something like this:
This might be the something
A header (like the "Class Skills" above) denotes a change in the content of the text, so it should be emphasized properly. Subheaders (like the names of skills like "Magic Resistance") mark a division in that content, so they should also be emphasized but not to the same extent as the broad content titles.
When in doubt, you can always copy the formatting of other creators here!
Been afflicted with a creative block recently and so have instead been turning my eye to my older sheets and have been thinking of re-writing some of them that I feel were sub-par.
"Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"
(Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)
Hello again, everyone. I've been working on sheet for Goro Nyudo Masamune but I've been having trouble coming up with Skills for him. Other than the usual Class Skills given to Sabers (Magic Resistance and Riding) and a variation of Eye For Art, I don't really have any other ideas. Though, I have been thinking of giving him Item Construction, though it would be restricted to creating swords. Any help would be appreciated.
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To answer royds question, it invokes on the specific battle, as it's is then counted as a hunt. Lumikio I'll work on the grammar and formatting, after I post my 3.0 for melonkamas. Thou thx for the suggestion about format the thought of copying that just honestly never occurred, so thx for that
“No friend ever served me and no enemy ever wronged me whom I have not repaid in full. You would do well to heed my epitaph. Our time together shall be joyous indeed should you prove yourself a friend; I dare any man to question my devotion to those who are likewise devoted to me. And should you make the mistake of becoming an enemy… know that I will shed as much blood as necessary, take any measure necessary, to enact what I feel is right. Would you care to test your luck? You will find that it does not compare to mine.”
True Name: Lucius Cornelius Sulla Felix
Alignment: Lawful Evil
Attribute: Man
Class: Saber
STR: B
CON: C
AGI: C
MGI: D
LCK: EX
NP: B+
Class Skills
Personal Skills
Noble Phantasm
Background
Character
Author's Remarks
Last edited by ScarfDyedShadow; July 24th, 2018 at 05:53 PM.