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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #13521
    屍食鬼 Ghoul
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    I just fixed it, thank you for the input ^^ It is good to share oppinions with someone who trully understand of this world.

  2. #13522
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PlatineDragon View Post
    Berserker




    Faceclaim


    Identity
    True Name: Besouro Mangangá
    Title: King of Capoeira
    Alternate Class: Assassin
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Likes: Practicing capoeira, being free, saving others from oppression (these kinds of things make him relaxed, allowing the Master to manage him better)
    Dislikes: Having a “Master”, bigotry, being called depreciative adn racism terms (those things make him furious, and will cause him to go wild and to be more and more difficult to control)


    Personality
    During his life, he was a determined individual who has a great disliking for authorities, and who learned to fend for himself and to survive in this cruel world. He was the kind who mistrusted white people, and he was ready to go in help of anyone who was being oppressed by the racist people of his legend.

    As a Berserker, part of his personality was consumed by his Mad Enhancement, however, many traits of his original personality remains. Among them, his disliking for the racist actions that were so common on the time when he was alive. If faced with these kinds of behaviors, he will quickly get really mad and he will charge to the one who is responsible for these offenses, and it might be possible only to hold him with the use of a Command Spell. He is also displeased with the fact that he has to answer to a “Master”, for to him it is too much like the slavery from which his people were supposed to be free from.

    Due to all of that, he absolutely does not fit well with authority, making him into a Servant that is extremely hard to control and manage. His Master will have a lot of problems to be able to interact with him, unless he manages to gain respect from him, what can be done by proving oneself to be respectful and to be brave enough to be worthy of admiration.


    Background
    ​The legend of the great Besouro Mangangá is well known by the people of the art of capoeira.

    He was born with the name of Manoel Henrique Pereira. He was from a humble family, living during the end of the 19th century and beginning of the 20th, which was shortly after the time that all slaves of Brazil had been freed. Of course, this did not increase the living conditions of black people in there, as well as it didn’t changed the mentality of the white people of Brazil, who saw the freed slaves and black people in general as “inferiors”, and as one of them, it is to be supposed that Manoel had a hard life.

    At a young age, he started to learnt the secrets of the capoeira from a “mestre”, named Mestre Alípio. After years of training, he became extremely skilled, and as it was tradition in the capoeira, he adopted a new name. He named himself Besouro Mangangá, and he was known simply as Besouro (meaning beetle).

    As he grew, all his feats and his amazing skills made others develop all kinds of rumors and myths around him, turning him into a figure of legendary power in the area of the capoeira. It was well known that he had problems with the police, and didn’t liked them, and he would often get in direct confront with the law, and most of his actions would make him been seen as a folk hero for the black population.

    It would be in one of these situations in which he would be killed, apparently with a bullet in the chest. There is a lot of controversy in the exact circumstances of his death, with some even saying that he only got killed because he was betrayed by someone.

    His fame still lived in the area of capoeira, and it spread across the whole Brazil eventually, and it would become international as capoeira popularized in other countries.


    Parameters
    STR: B+ END: C AGI: A
    MAN: E LUK: C NP: C+


    Skills
    Class Skills

    Mad Enhancement: The basic skill for Berserkers, which make him gain a boost in power at the cost of his ability to reason.
    At this ranking, it grants to him a Rank-Up in all of his parameters, save for MAN and LUK, but the cost is that he loses a good deal of his ability to reason, and he can no longer speak properly, save for broken fragments of words and phrases that seem to make sense only for him.
    C Rank

    Personal Skills

    Capoeirista: This is a skill that is gifted only to the ones that mastered the art of the Capoeira, like Besouro did.
    Thanks to this, at this level, his blows are able to inflict the same level of damage as C Rank Noble Phantasms, turning his body into a dangerous weapon in a fight.
    Also, he is also able to use his “ginga”, which allows him to be extremely nimble in battle, allowing him to dodge attack with fast movements.
    Finally, he is able to keep all of his skill in capoeira as a basic instinct, not losing it to the effects of his Mad Enhancement, almost remembering the effects of Eternal Arms Mastership.
    A+++ Rank

    Instinct: This is the skill to predict danger coming on his way, that verges on the realm of predicting the future.
    It allows him to predict the best personal course of action, and it even allows him to predict the trajectory of objects, allowing him to dodge bullets or even to catch them in the air with his bare fingers, or even his teeth.
    B Rank

    NP


    Espírito do Besouro

    The Legend of the King of Capoeira

    Anti-Unity (self)
    C Rank


    There are many legends that are attributed to the legendary Besouro. Among them, the legends that he was able to turn into a betel and fly away to escape battles (hence his name), and also that he was able to have a “closed body”, which turned him impervious to blades and bullets.

    This Noble Phantasm is a sublimation of these legends, and it allows him to pass through transformation that grants him these combined qualities.

    This Noble Phantasm manifests into a necklace with the badge of a beetle around his neck, and once activate, this necklace will melt into his skin and spread over his while body. Thanks to this, he suffers a metamorphosis that causes his whole body to turn into a human-beetle monstrosity, with his whole body covered into an exoskeleton.

    When transformed, he gains a boost on STR and END, representing the power of a beetle running into his body. More than that, he also gains a pair of wings on his back that allow him to fly.

    Finally, the exoskeleton works as the “closed body” of the legends, creating a protection that blocks anything that is weaker than a C-Rank Noble Phantasm.

    However, there are some downsides:

    First, the transformation takes away what is left of his sanity and causes him to go into a frenzy, making him lose control as if his Mad Enhancement increased to A-Rank. Second, this consumes a good deal of magic energy, so it can quickly depletes his Master if not used carefully.
    Ok I barely have time to read and review and actually give worthwhile commentary about sheets these days but I have a contractual obligation to talk about this

    I like how restrained his Parameters are, even as a Berserker, it's fitting for someone with a small legend like him.
    I like his two skills, nowadays everyone has at least three but I think these two are enough, and your choice of Instinct over Eye of the Mind is good too, I always have difficulty choosing, but I believe Instinct capture capoeira moves more than EotM (though this is a very superficial vision of capoeira since I never practiced it myself).

    I was going to question making him a Berserker instead of an Assassin, but the Noble Phantasm fits this class better. It reminds me of the "official" Besouro from the Strongest Servant Contest. The name could use some more flair though. Espírito do Besouro is good but I like to use the "kanji" to really represent the legend of the Servant or the theme of the NP when possible, Legend of the King of Capoeira seems kinda on the generic side, but it's a minor complaint.

    I still think you could try to give more justification to his Mad Enhancement in the sheet, I know it comes from me, the guy that took the easy way out with my Berserker Tiradentes, but even a mention of his rage fuelled attacks against the police on the description of the Class Skill would do.

    There are some English mistakes but they are mostly false cognate, common stuff for who's learning English, nothing major.

    Good job.

  3. #13523
    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    To answer royds question
    1st: Origionly I was thinking of making phobia a super edgy servant, but then I thought "you know what, instead of doing something that been overdone. How about I do something with assassin that's more interesting". So I will go delete misery, as well as change its like and dislikes part. Since I have to add images anyway.

    2nd: courage would probably irk it a little bit, but it would not be angry at it. Since it's more to at courage as more or less watching someone throw thier life away, so for the same reason as bravery it would be annoyed, but not angry. Just kinda like a parent that gave advice to thier kids, and then thier kids go like 5 seconds later doing exactly what the parent told them not to do.

  4. #13524
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    On the spot Servant idea brainstorm (literally just as I opened this thread):

    Hm. Seeing as how Yolande of Aragon was an early and influential supporter of Jeanne d'arc up until and after her death and how if she wouldn't have been, Jeanne wouldn't have gotten as far as she did voices or not, she was a second Jeanne d'arc in a sense. Except, well, instead of being guided by faith she was guided by her own intellect. Mold that enough and you get something like,

    ?




    Class: Alter Ego (?)
    Name: Jeanne d'arc -- The Queen of Four Kingdoms

  5. #13525
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors King of Padoru's Avatar
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    So, I still haven't finished compilying all the entries for the index (I still have to add America, Britain, and Classical Myth & Hystory), but the text already exceeds 100,000 characters. What am I supposed to do? Should I split it into two posts or something like that?

  6. #13526
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    I'd say split it, my man
    The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
    Coffee would be nice, though.

    [Collection of my Servant Sheets]
    Now Revamped!

  7. #13527
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    So, I still haven't finished compilying all the entries for the index (I still have to add America, Britain, and Classical Myth & Hystory), but the text already exceeds 100,000 characters. What am I supposed to do? Should I split it into two posts or something like that?
    Interesting. The first thread ran for 105 more pages before the OP finally ran out of space. I guess there must be a lot more entries in this one.

  8. #13528
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    So I've been working on a Pythagoras Servant and I'm a little unsure what NPs to give him. I've already come up with one based on his belief in
    Metempsychosis
    transmigration of souls
    , but I also want to give him one related to his geometric and mathematical discoveries. Problem is I can't think of any idea that isn't really boring, like summoning geometric figures to attack with or projecting a triangle-shaped forcefield. Any thoughts?

  9. #13529
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors King of Padoru's Avatar
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    He related music with maths. Something like using numbers to generate sound would be nice

  10. #13530
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    He related music with maths. Something like using numbers to generate sound would be nice
    The music of the spheres, huh? I thought of something like that, but I wasn't quite sure how to pull it off. I guess something like what you used for your Lovelace sheet might work... In any case, thanks.

  11. #13531
    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    So, I still haven't finished compilying all the entries for the index (I still have to add America, Britain, and Classical Myth & Hystory), but the text already exceeds 100,000 characters. What am I supposed to do? Should I split it into two posts or something like that?
    The character limit per post has been increased, go wild.

  12. #13532
    屍食鬼 Ghoul
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    My Fourth Servant

    Caster





    Identity
    True Name: Nefertiti
    Titles: Lady of all Women, Lady of Grace
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Likes: Flowers, walking on chariots, being complimented for her beauty, cute young men
    Dislikes: People who disrespect her, being underestimated for being woman, chauvinism

    Personality
    She is a very interesting figure, for she is often acting like a noble queen of Egypt. She often demonstrates a strong façade with the kind of personality that befits someone who would be a ruler woman. She acts serious and she is often passing an image of determination and strength to whoever addresses her. She is formal and she often behaves as others would expect from a queen, being the kind of woman who will inspire respect from everyone around her.

    However, underneath it, before being a pharaoh, and before being the “lady of all women”, she is still a woman. She has a personality that some would consider “unregal-like”, with a personality that resembles a teenager who will scream at others if she is mad and who will make jokes overtime. She is often fiery in her rage, and passionate in her actions, and she is also inclined to sometimes be flirtatious with someone who catches her eyes. However, she tries her best to hide this part of her, once she believes that this kind of personality does not fits someone who is supposed to be a queen and an example to her people. She will only show this more private part of her personality for the ones who she recognizes as her true friends, and these are very few.

    Either she acts like the queen or the woman, she seems to be quite sensitive about her past, for some reason. She will avoid answering to questions regarding her past and her true history, and pressing on the subject makes her really uncomfortable.

    “It is rude to try to dwell into a woman’s past!”


    Background
    The name of Nefertiti is one of the most well-known names in what it says about the Egyptian story and mythology. However, this name is also the one that is the most involved in mystery and uncertainty.

    What many seem to agree was that she was described as being incredibly beautiful, and that she was the favored wife of the pharaoh of her time, and it seemed that she was more famous than he actually was. Being depicted in many positions in which the pharaoh was supposed to be, like fighting enemies and sitting on the throne.

    After the death of the pharaoh, she started to rule in his place, and that she carried on several reforms in the land, which included the adaptation to a monotheistic culture, in which the only god that was worshipped was Aten, the god of sun, which was the god that she worshipped herself. She was said to have been loved by the people, and that she was able to achieve a level of fame that surpassed the fame that her husband had when he was alive.

    It was said that she performed all of the duties that were attributed to the male rulers, which included depart leading the armies in battle, and killing enemies in battle herself. She was truly an admirable figure, and this, coupled with her beauty, was something that made her be deeply loved by the people.

    There are many theories surrounding her death and burial, as well as all of the events that are related to her life, as there are little historical records of her existence left, to the point where some claim that she was not even real, but a form of allegory created to exemplify women in power, or some form of mythology.

    However, the fact that she is summon in the form of a Heroic Spirit makes it clear that she was a real person, and that she truly existed, or at least that her legend and deeds became great enough for her to have her to have her existence preserved in the Throne of Heroes. Still, there are so many legends and so much inconsistency that is still hard to know which ones could be her real story and past.

    Of course, much of the information of her mysterious past could easily be answered by Caster herself, if she can be convinced to talk…


    Parameters
    STR: E END: E AGI: C
    MAN: A LUK: B NP: EX


    Skills
    Class Skills
    Territory Creation: This is the skill that allows for a Caster to turn an area into her territory, which gives them numerous advantages.
    This is a special case, once it not only allows her to create a “temple”, but also allows her to create her whole Noble Phantasm.
    A++ Rank
    Item Construction: This is a skill that allows her to use her skill and the right materials to create special equipment that serve for a variety of purposes.
    This skill is essential for her to build her Noble Phantasm.
    B+ Rank

    Personal Skills
    Bewitching Rosy Cheeks: This is a skill possessed and representing the great beauty of others, which acts as a fascination ability.
    She was said to have been the most beautiful woman who had ever lived, and it manifests into this skill that causes most who look to her face to be enchanted by her beauty, which almost makes her seem to beautiful to be human.
    A Rank
    Egyptian Magecraft: Much of Caster’s past is a mystery, but it is clear that she was skilled in the magical arts in life.
    A+ Rank
    Imperial Privilege: This is a skill acquired by those who ruled, and it allows, through the insistency of the user, to acquire temporarily any kind of skill temporarily.
    At this ranking, she can acquire even the skills that have a tool on her body, like for instance, divinity.
    This comes from her past as someone who tried to exercise all kinds of functions that a pharaoh was supposed to, which included riding chariots in battle and taking the important negotiations of the land.
    A Rank


    NP
    Hwt-Ben-Ben
    The Great Mansion of Benben

    Anti-Domain
    EX Rank

    This Noble Phantasm is a sublimation of something that was related to her throughout history, even though there is a lot of debate if this great construction was on her time or if she was even related to the construction of this.

    Anyways, she is able to summon the legendary Mansion of the Benben, and if questioned if this Noble Phantasm really belongs to her, she will only shrug and say: “Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. Who knows?”.

    This is a Noble Phantasm that cannot be summoned at any moment, needing preparation before it can actually be deployed, it needs to be constructed. To construct this great construction, she needs to use a great sum of material, which includes ancient rocks, several materials of construction, and a great investment of magical energy.

    This is the kind of Noble Phantasm that takes time to be ready, and this makes it very hard to use it in a regular Holy Grail War, but once it is ready, it is the kind of construction that can easily ensure her victory.

    Once it is ready, it resembles somewhere between a great mansion and an ancient Egyptian temple, complete with columns, many rooms, and with a great internal area. She has full domain over this mansion, being able to use it as her base and to drain magic energy from the very air inside of it.

    This temple has several defense and attack measures, which includes the vigilance pillars that shot rays of pure magical energy, and the capacity to detach from the ground by sprouting legs and walking as if it was a giant scorpion. Inside this construction, in a courtyard in the center of the mansion, is an obelisk that has on top of it the source of energy of the whole thing, a simulated version of the legendary Benben Stone. If anything happens to this stone, then the whole Noble Phantasm will be ruined, and she will have to build it all from scratch.


    Author's Note
    I took some creative liberties with the legendary figure of Nefertiti. I'm amazed that it seems that no one made a character bio of her. As for her Noble Phantasm, I took inspppiration of the Benben Mansion and of the "Hanging Gardens of Babylon"


  13. #13533
    死徒 Dead Apostle Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    yes a very good sheet /profile it is everytime a nice view to see a pharaonic servant !
    ps:what would she think of my two pharaoh : Sethos I , and Sesostris I , which were on of my earliest servants.
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  14. #13534
    屍食鬼 Ghoul
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    Well, I'm not sure, but she would see other Pharaohs as fellow rulers and defenders of the land of Egypt, specially the ones who were great and influent in their lives. I have the impression that it could have some hostility between her and Cleopatra, once the later was the responsible for the fall of pharaohs in Egypt.

  15. #13535
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Nefertiti: It's a nice sheet and all, but I'm not sure if she deserves such high ranks in everything (the most glaring being the A+ Egyptian Magecraft and the EX NP). This wouldn't be bad otherwise, but the Lore avoids the subject of her past in relation to these things, making the justification for these things sorta questionable.
    This would be reasonable for, say, a character in a fanfic or an RP, but seems a bit odd in this thread. Then again, I might like explanations a little too much.

  16. #13536
    死者 The Dead
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    This is my first time creating a servant, please help me improve myself. I am sorry for any gramatical mistakes or typos, english is not my first language, and i am using a tablet to write, so i would be glad if you point out the mistakes i made. Thank you for your help.
    ~~~Lancer~~~

    Alternate Classes: Archer, Rider
    True Name: Oghuz Khagan
    A.k.a: Modu Chanyu, Mete, Great uniter, Zulqarnayn(fake)
    Gender: male
    Height, Weight: 169 cm, 75 kg
    Alignment: Neytral Good
    Place of origin: Steppes, Middle asia

    ~~~ Parameters ~~~
    Str:B Agi: A++
    End:C Mana: D
    Luck:B Np: A

    ~~~ Class Skills ~~~
    Magic Resistance D

    Riding A (Only as rider, because his horse is angered by the fact that he killed it)

    Independent Action B( only as Archer)

    Divinity D

    ~~~ Personal Skills ~~~
    Self Evolution Ex
    Surpassing Self Modification, it's a skill that reforms oneself. In order to overcome any kind of objective in the way of accomplishing one's goals, they keep evolving in mere seconds. However, it has the demerit of having a lower mark than Self Modification concerning its applicability to anything more than the specialization towards the user's goals.

    Oghuz khagan became an adult in hours, after tasted his mothers milk, he wanted to taste alcohol. We began walking in mere minutes just after being born. He had teeths and hair of a grown man just after he started walking.

    Mantle of the Great Protector C

    Because he is using the name of Zulqarnayn, he got a skill to replicate the power of Zulqarnayn. This skill helps him to prevent any danger or attack to happen in his presence. He could feel the danger, and can somewhat understand the nature of the danger. He could subconciously understand what to do to prevent the danger happening, or how to minimize it. This skill also identifies evil servants, or the mischievous ones from good and well behaved ones, so he would now when to take on guard, and when to relax.

    ~~~ Noble Phantasms ~~~
    As a lancer, He is using Tan delen, A bronz spear, and Gun beren, an armor made out of hard steel. When he is an archer, instead of his spear, he is using a golden bow called Altunyay with three silver arrows called bozok. As a rider, he is using all of them.

    Name: Tan delen, the light that pierces darkness.
    Type: Anti-unit(C), Anti-army(A)
    this bronze spear is actually key to the star-forge deep in the space. Upon activation, he is borrowing the lance of tengri from him, a laser beam which pierces through the deep black night, which is fired to the enemy which he is pointing with his spear. the concentrated beam of light hurts evil alignments more than the good ones. It could either be used as an anti-unit type, which is less powerful but more accurate, and less energy consuming, or as an anti-army, which requires more time and energy, but devastates a large area with it. It can be only used in night time as he must see the stars.

    Oghuz used this spear to kill the dragon Kiyant. Later it was blessed by Tengri, so he could use the power of sky to conquer.

    Name: Gun beren, the armor of sun, directs and protects.
    Type: Barrier(C)
    This armor is also given to him by Tengri, which protects him from powerful attacks, and direct hits. The armor is hard enough to deflect most attacks, but the real ability of this armor is, to derivate the attacks coming from enemies. The lance that should have pierce the heart would pierce somewhere near the heart. The mortal wound that should kill him actually deflected to an area which is not that mlrtal at all. It is not usefull to area attacks, but still very useful against anty-unit noble phantasms.

    Name: Altunyay
    Type: Anti-unit(a)
    The bow itself is powerfull Enough tabt when used in full strength, it could destroy siege wepons in one shot, but the actual power is not with the bow, but with three silver arrows called bozok. Each arrow, instead of hurting the servant, hurts the parameters and skills of the servant. By using them, he could bring down mlst of the servants that are way more powerful servants to a lesser power, sp he can deal with them. The power of the arrows may be nullified if the servant has both high luck and magic resistance, or a skill, noble phantasm that prevent this kind of power.

    Even though Oghuz can be summoned as a rider, he actually do not have any beast or vehicle to ride, because he killed his loyal horse to test the loyalty of his soldiers. Because of this, his horse is sad and angry at him.

    ~~~ Biography ~~~
    Oh i am too lazy to write it down, i shall update it.

    ~~~ Personality ~~~
    again, shall update it.

  17. #13537
    a blond with green eyes that doesn't look like saber Spartacus's Avatar
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    Originally making Abrahah sheet, but he feels like a discount Hannibal so I opted with this guy instead. Not dwelling into personality because of he is just a cool old guy (.)

    "Servant, Shaybah! No, not Saber, but Sei-bah!"


    Class: Caster
    True Name: Shaybah Ibn Hashim
    Origin/Region: Historical Facts/ Saudi Arabia
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Attribute: Man

    Parameter
    STR: E MGI: A (E)
    AGI: D LUCK: B
    END: C NP: A

    History:


    Shaybah ibn Hashim is a Quraishy chieftain lived during 5 - 6 century, he is much more known as the Prophet Muhammad's biological grandfather.

    Shaybah most famed exploit is to defend the House of God during the invasion of the Himyar King Abrahah, where he threatened to destroy it in his quest on spreading Byzantine Christianity. He sent four thousand men and twelve war elephant, which the event will be remembered as Year of Elephant. God decided to sent flocks of birds firing off flaming rocks, destroying Abrahah's army in the process.

    Shaybah, despite being the grandfather of Muhammad, can be considered not a Muslim. He is a believer of traditional Arab pagan, which fuses both Judaism, Christianity and others paganic deities. Of course, from his act to dig a well in the middle of idols, it seems he didn't hold other deities much respect. From all his exploit that help the future Muslims, he can be called a device and an instrument to make the Prophet job much smoother before his birth.


    Class Skill:
    Territory Strengthening A
    A Skill replaced Territory Creation. It allows him to choose an existing spiritually important terrain such as leyline and other religiously important areas for his advantage, amplifying its effect to be more powerful. A once forgotten well can spring miracle water, a holy temple's spirituality and bounded field can be strengthened, and a leyline can produce much more magical energy than normal.

    Item Construction (False) A
    Able to create a weapon with the help of spirit. He actually has no magical capacity whatsoever.


    Personal Skill:
    Charisma C
    Having C Rank in this Skill is sufficient to lead a tribe as its leader. The morale of military forces he commands is very high.

    Revelation C
    A Skill to "hear the voice of heavens" and take optimum action. It accommodates all matters related to the achievement of a goal. Because there is no basis for it, it cannot be explained to others clearly.

    Despite still holding a pre-Islamic belief at the time, he received a dream to dig a well located between two paganic idols, angering his tribes. This well is the miraculous Zamzam Well, the well that never dries originally found by the infant Prophet Ishmael in Islamic belief.

    Magecraft (False) A
    A Skill that allows the use of modern Magecraft by the help of spirit. He can exhibit powerful Magecraft at the same level as the Lord in Clocktower, but knock the spirit out and he is helpless.


    Noble Phantasm
    Ruh Malufa
    The Sorceress's Spirit

    Anti Unit
    Rank C

    The familiar spirit of a sorceress that help him to save his son Abdullah from being sacrificed. He himself can't see it, but it has helped him to gather many camels as his son substitute. It was physically fast and powerful enough to gather a hundred camels in a day, and help him to (perform all) use Magecraft. Because the spirit never been visible, only can be felt, it has a weird hobby to act like a poltergeist. This Noble Phantasm is the only reason he can be a Caster.

    Tayran Ababil
    Birds of Hellfire

    Anti Army
    Rank A-

    Ababil birds, low-level phantasmal beasts send by God to defend the House of God during the year of Elephant, the year The Prophet born. In Surah Al-Fil, Abraha and his elephant army threatened to destroy the House of God, Shaybah and other chieftains hold firm and defend it until a miracle happens.

    The birds were numerous enough to look like a massive black cloud, sending a rain of hellfire brims to enemies below, which caused the aftermath of surrounding areas being flattened and crushed like a pile of eaten straws.

    Because it is not something he can control and activate whenever he pleases, the Noble Phantasm only able to be activated when he defending something considered holy or defending God's faith.

    : Wait, wait a minute! I didn't rip this old man off alright?! It is natural for Abrahamic miracles to be similar with each other!


    I swear my sheets become lazier and lazier.
    Last edited by Spartacus; October 12th, 2018 at 10:57 PM.

  18. #13538
    Wandering King 34's Avatar
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    Abd al-Muttalib: Wow, never expected him (or any pre-Islamic Meccan figure at all) to be turned into a Servant. I quite like the "sorceress spirit". Maybe it would be good if you include the personality bit of how he interacts with the sorceress spirit, even if it's in the Noble Phantasm section itself. Other than that, I feel his Charisma and Golden Rule seems unnecessary; personally I would just incorporate Golden Rule into his first Noble Phantasm and Charisma into his second Noble Phantasm. But other than that, it's a good sheet.
    Quote Originally Posted by Canon View Post
    "12000 years ago space alien gods and space bacteria gods fought a big space bunny alien that came from a comet until the planet coughed out a sword, also the god was Mars with the power of rainbows and Atilla the Hun was the bunny and the sword is Excalibur"

    "I love your serious story that shows much respect for real life history and mythology"

  19. #13539
    a blond with green eyes that doesn't look like saber Spartacus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34 View Post
    Abd al-Muttalib: Wow, never expected him (or any pre-Islamic Meccan figure at all) to be turned into a Servant. I quite like the "sorceress spirit". Maybe it would be good if you include the personality bit of how he interacts with the sorceress spirit, even if it's in the Noble Phantasm section itself. Other than that, I feel his Charisma and Golden Rule seems unnecessary; personally I would just incorporate Golden Rule into his first Noble Phantasm and Charisma into his second Noble Phantasm. But other than that, it's a good sheet.
    The only reason I doing this because for that Olga commentatory alone.

    I kinda agree with Golden Rule, but how does Charisma has anything to do with Thayran Ababil (2nd NP)?

    That being said, I swear I will be back with my Pre-Magellan sheet again, I feel I have been losing my edge after that (except Alice, that is my height of my writing career.)

  20. #13540
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    something something commanding an army something army of phoenixes hell birds something
    Quote Originally Posted by Canon View Post
    "12000 years ago space alien gods and space bacteria gods fought a big space bunny alien that came from a comet until the planet coughed out a sword, also the god was Mars with the power of rainbows and Atilla the Hun was the bunny and the sword is Excalibur"

    "I love your serious story that shows much respect for real life history and mythology"

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