Create-A-Servant 2

[Bird of Hermes]

I'm ok with Morgana not being a Saber face though she is her half-sister sharing the same mother so I was expecting some resemblance...

As for the actual ​sheet. I do like that Morgana le Fay sheet, I think the reasons there are less sheets on her is (correct me if I'm wrong) because she is still alive and in Avalon. I can't fault it at all but there are a few things I would have done differently myself.

As Avalon Morgan basically makes the user a Litch, you could have done something else with Avalon (as in the realm not scabbard- perhaps as a Reality Marble? Out of all the servants to have one - she at least has a good excuse. If not a reality marble of Avalon then perhaps the battle of Camlainn. Something along the lines of the place of her greatest victory. She is really deserving of one more Noble Phantasm in my opinion but you don't have to take my suggestion.

Also - item creation. I would have put super high tier homonculous making under that and forging duplicates of NP's as its own noble phantasm.

[RoydGolden]

As Avalon Morgan basically makes the user a Litch, you could have done something else with Avalon (as in the realm not scabbard- perhaps as a Reality Marble? Out of all the servants to have one - she at least has a good excuse. If not a reality marble of Avalon then perhaps the battle of Camlainn. Something along the lines of the place of her greatest victory. She is really deserving of one more Noble Phantasm in my opinion but you don't have to take my suggestion.

Also - item creation. I would have put super high tier homonculous making under that and forging duplicates of NP's as its own noble phantasm.

I already included a (pseudo-)Reality Marble aspect to Avalon Morgan, so I'm not sure what more you want, frankly. I guess I could mention homunculus making under her Item Construction though, but she's pretty loaded as is...

[Bird of Hermes]

I know, perhaps I just worded it poorly. You could have added onto those aspects a bit more and made it into its own thing but the sheet stands good all on its own. A last minute thought on the Noble Phantasm is that you could possibly increase the rank to A++, as the NP does a lot for its rank but the rank up is still lower than regular Avalons EX.

But again, all just suggestions.

[Historia]

Morgana Le Fay

Likes: Arturia, faithfulness, noble and heroic men
Dislikes: adulterous men, Arturia

What.

[RoydGolden]

What.

What's wrong with it?

[Arha]

Agravain: "My mother was a filthy insane whore."

Also saying she likes Artoria is a little, uh, questionable.

[RoydGolden]

Agravain: "My mother was a filthy insane whore."

Also saying she likes Artoria is a little, uh, questionable.

Well, for one thing Agravain is hardly unbiased in that aspect (and I even did work in a 'whore' reference from him).

Likes and hates her, mind you, as I described in the sheet itself. Since she ended up taking 'Arthur' to Avalon and healing him in the end of some versions of the story, I think it's justifiable to infer some degree of affections. In any case, I got most of my idea for her personality (with personal touches added, of course) from Bobin over in Grand Order lore discussion so if you have a problem with that, take it up with him.

[Historia]

In any case, I got most of my idea for her personality (with personal touches added, of course) from Bobin over in Grand Order lore discussion so if you have a problem with that, take it up with him.

Out of curiosity, have you actually read anything related to the Arthurian Legends? As in, primary source(s)?

[Draconic]

I think the master post needs to be updated.

[Bird of Hermes]

I said i'd start work on him a week ago. Better late than never.

Source: (X)

Class: Saber (Can also be summoned as Berserker and Rider)
True Name: Dietrich von Bern "aka Theoderic the Great"
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Place of Origin: Germanic Legend
Attribute: Earth
Traits: Human
Armament: Armour, Two Swords

STR: B+
END: B
AGI: A
MGI: B
LCK: D
NP: A

Height/Weight: 179cm/68kg
Likes: Loyal Allies
Dislikes: Betrayal, Pyrrhic Victories
Talent: Hoarding
Natural Enemy: Ermanric, Kreimhild, Seburg

Class Skills:

Magic Resistance: A
Grants protection against magical effects. Differently from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancel spells of A-Rank or below, no matter what high-thaumaturgy it is. In practice, the Servant is untouchable to modern magi, so it would not be an exaggeration to title the Servant a "Magus Killer". He possesses high rank thanks to his draconic blood.

Riding: B
The ability to ride mounts. Rider-class Servants will typically possess a high rank, and A-rank can allow for Phantasmal Beasts and Divine Beasts to be mounted. It is said that dragon type mounts are an exception, requiring a different ability other than Riding. Most vehicles can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasm Races such as Monstrous Beasts.

Personal Skills:

Breath of the Dragon: A+
The ability to release a torrent of mana like the breath of Dragons. He can unleash a torrent of flame equivalent of an 'A' rank attack able to challenge even great dragon slayers. However this only takes effect when suitably enraged and could perform it at will in the Berserker class.


Collector: C
The "talent" to collect high quality goods—a "luck" that draws rare items into the possession of the Servant. However, the Servant's Master derives no benefit from this personal skill. Something of a kleptomaniac, he collected many named swords and pilfered armour of the dead.

Monster Slayer: B
The talent to combat and destroy monsters and their kin that plague humanity. Across his adventures he fought giants, dwarves and other Demi-Humans. A '+' modifier is gained when attacking those with Monstrous traits.

Protection of the Fairies: A
A blessing from Elementals; the capacity to increase one's Luck in dangerous situations. Activation is limited to battlefields, where it is possible to perform feats of arms. Receiving the blessings of Lady Luck, his LCK gains a rank up in combat.

Noble Phantasms

Nagelring

Unfailing Blade of the Giants

Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: A
Range: 1-2
Max Targets: 1

The first sword of Dietrich von Bern and his primary Noble Phantasm. A phantasmal sword and trusted blade of Dietrich given to him by Elbegast who had stolen it away from the giant, Grim. A fine weapon, forged by phantasmal beings and shining with gleaming light. The primary effect of this Nagelring is passive in nature. When wielding this blade, he takes on the physical attributes of a giant so that he can wield the weapon proficiently.

While holding it, his STR and END gain a rank up, although AGI is capped off at 'D' rank. It acts as the prototype of Beowulf's sword Naegling which shattered in a fight against a dragon due to his blows being too strong for the sword to handle. Nagelring possesses a similar ability and by invoking its name, he is able to temporarily boost his STR to EX, far higher than any human and equal to the mightiest of giants that could rival even gods should be able to do but the sword will shatter after a few blows due to not being able to withhold his physical might and therefore causing the effects to be lost forever. In this state it is best used as a Broken Phantasm to maximise destructive power in the short time he wields such strength.

Ecksachs

Sharp Edge of the Dragon

Type: Anti-Army
Range: B+
Range: 1-50
Max Targets: 30 People

The second Noble Phantasm of Dietrich. A brutal and twisted great sword forged out of dragons blood by the dwarf, king Alberish. It is a powerful weapon with a blade so sharp that merely touching it will result in being wounded. This weapon has the passive effect of having anything around the blade at all will be cut up. If one were to put their hand on the blade, differing areas would receive minor cuts. The cuts tear through instantly, and are in areas horizontal and vertical, almost as if to attempt to split their body up. While not successful with any servant, it's successful in small items and other things, even generally hard metals. At the same time, this also "cuts" magic barriers, tearing a hole into B-Rank barriers. Upon invoking the true name of the weapon, it send out a sharp blast of wind that cuts the very air able to slice apart skyscrapers from a range of several kilometres.

This weapon does have a restraint however, it can only be used if Saber no longer possesses Nagelring, regardless of whether it has been passed onto the master, another servant or outright destroyed. Until then the Noble Phantasm is sealed.

Spoils of War

Recovered Tools for a New Master

Type: Anti-Treasure
Rank: A+
Range: 1
Max Targets: ???

The secret and final Noble Phantasm of Saber. Dietrich's nature as an adventurer has been sublimated as a conceptual Noble Phantasm. Should he get into contact with an enemy Noble Phantasm, he can attempt a LCK roll to try and take it from them to add to his repertoire. Any Noble Phantasm claimed by him will not suffer any degradation and will continue to work at maximum capacity as if he were its true wielder and maintain all its powers and abilities. Should his enemy be restrained or incapable of resisting, the likelihood of success is guaranteed. This Noble Phantasm can only interact with physical weapons so Noble Phantasms like God Hand would not be affected.

Lore

Dietrich von Bern was a prince of his kingdom. Born a true warrior, he was a master of war, swordsmanship and all forms of combat. When his father died, his uncle usurped his kingdom and exiled Dietrich. He fled alongside his close friend Hillebrand to Atilla's empire. First he was welcomed as a guest, then a vassel, then friend - and through the act of marrying Attila's nice, family.

After famously defeating a dwarf empowered by magic and saving a queen from an evil king - killing giants and dragons in the process, he famously duelled Siegfried. Facing the invincible dragon slayer "whose swordsmanship has long since surpassed mankind" in single combat and battling for many hours, he started to lose his edge in the fight and was about to be defeated until hearing about the supposed death of Hillebrand. He became so unbelievably enraged he spewed blazing hot hellfire from his mouth which beat the trained dragon slayer into submission and it would have killed him if not for Kreimhild's intervention.

After Hagen and Gunther conspired Siegfried's death and stole the treasure from his widow Kriemhild. When Hagen and Gunther became hostages of Atilla as a sign of good will, they lived a comfortable life within his court. After Kriemhild's clever conspiracies caused a fight to break out between the Hunnic forces and the Burgundians, Dietrich lead an assault that resulted in the death of all his friends bar Hillebrand and Atilla and reluctantly captured Hagen and Gunther who are the only two Burgundians to survive the assault Dietrich lead, Kriemhild - holding Balmung in her hands and beheads her brother Gunther and demands Hagen tell her where the treasure is on fear of death. Hagen refused, saying she would kill him anyways, she simply nodded and killed him too. Hillebrand who was an old man at this point killed Kreimhild for murdering defenceless hostages. Dietrich stood back as this happened; Kreimhild was right in her revenge as the two "heroes" were anything but and Hillebrand was right in enforcing law. Kreimhild was at peace with the actions that transpired so Dietrich did nothing - ultimately powerless in the situation Kriemhild constructed. He couldn't win while she couldn't lose.

After decades as a guest of Atilla, Dietrich raised an army to retake his kingdom which was his birthright where he fought and killed his most hated uncle easily in a final duel. However there were costs to the war he could not pay. Ermanric's champion Witege (a former ally) killed the children of Attila in battle. Filled with rage and grief; Dietrich pursed Witege and faced him. Witege boasted how he gladly left to Ermanric's side for the promise of kingship which he would take by killing Dietrich. Dietrich killed him and took his legendary sword 'Mimung', forged by Witege's father Wayland the Smith which he proceeded to never use. He brought the sad news to Attila and when back into exile, self-imposed and alone out of shame.

After this a jealous giant called Ecke, who styled himself as a hero was envious of Dietrich's fame and sought out to face him. Ecke, encouraged by Seburg gave him armour and a sword forged from dragons blood. Due to Ecke's armour being invincible, Dietrich attacked through the holes and small gaps in the bloody armour till Ecke died. After claiming his sword 'Ecksachs' and armour for his own Dietrich mourned Ecke as valiant warrior. Eckes brother Fasold (a hybrid of half giant and half demon) however railed his family in vengeance and Dietrich was forced to kill them in self defence. Upon confronting Seburg for the needless death she said Ecke's family was planning to force her to marry him and so she had Dietrich perform her dirty work for him. After this he gave away his first named sword 'Nagelring' to an old friend which became the model for one of Beowulf's swords.

After his final adventure where he defended a strangers honour in combat (who was lady luck in disguise) he simply vanished. He was whisked away by the Devil in the form of a giant flaming stead to join the "Wild Hunt" where he would fight monsters, demons and Dragons for all time under the King of Storm.

Personality

He suffers from the 'Hedgehogs Dilemma'. He treasures comradely and true friendship above all else but at the same time he fears it. His bond with Hillebrand and Atilla was dear to his heart as his connection to them was the sole reason he was able to live for a period of time but his closest friend instantly betrayed him for the false promise of kingship. As such he is very friendly and approachable but when he realises he is becoming close with someone he will push them away in fear of losing them to one reason or another. An inverted tsundere if you will. Unless he is dealing with one of his friends from the past friendship with him is… awkward, with romance being nigh-impossible.

He regards Siegfried as a worthy opponent and would enjoy facing him again and the same with Hillebrand. Attila (or rather Altera) is an interesting case, despite being family he holds a primarily professional relationship with "Sensei" but still holds her to the highest regard. He may call her "…Sempai" but only when he is certain absolutely no one is listening.

His wish is curious in nature. In his life he won many pyrrhic victories - winning countless battles but the cost of "success" was so great it was tantamount to defeat. He want a victory that is meaningful and can be called such - he wants to win the grail for the sole sake of winning it.

Notes

In the Berserker class he would possess Ecke's armour and lose Nagelring while in the Rider class he would posses Mimung and the demonic horse as Noble Phantasms. 'Spoils of War' is the only consistent Noble Phantasm among all three classes.

It is such a shame this guy is far less known nowadays, I really enjoyed looking into his legend.

[Historia]

I said i'd start work on him a week ago. Better late than never.

If you're going to do a Dietrich sheet why not list everyone affiliated by their Nibelungenlied equivalents? In this case, Attila would be Etzel. Hillebrand would be Hildebrand. Dunno, just seems weird to me. Furthermore, his true name, if you want to match the whole Attila/Etzel thing, is Theoderic the Great. Dietrich, his Germanic mythological rendition, is basically the German King Arthur. Of course this is one of those cases of "the myth overshadows/outlives the truth" or however you want to say it, but... uh...

There's also the matter of Dietrich vs Siegfried. Kriemhild stopped the fight. In each version of the tale this is the outcome: Dietrich always win while Siegfried is only saved by the intervention of his lover, for some reason. Which is kinda funny, when you think about it.

There are some other minor things, like misspelling of "Burgundians" (not Burgandians) and hm... Ah, I'm sure you're already aware of all this, etc. and I'm just nitpicking. Don't mind me...

[RoydGolden]

Out of curiosity, have you actually read anything related to the Arthurian Legends? As in, primary source(s)?

I think I may have read a book about King Arthur a long time ago, if that counts.

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If you're going to do a Dietrich sheet why not list everyone affiliated by their Nibelungenlied equivalents? In this case, Attila would be Etzel. Hillebrand would be Hildebrand. Dunno, just seems weird to me. Furthermore, his true name, if you want to match the whole Attila/Etzel thing, is Theoderic the Great. Dietrich, his Germanic mythological rendition, is basically the German King Arthur. Of course this is one of those cases of "the myth overshadows/outlives the truth" or however you want to say it, but... uh...

I think it makes more sense to use Attila given that she actually exists in the Nasuverse by (what's close to) that name. Also, funny to see Theodoric the Great referenced since the next sheet I'm working on (which should be done sometime in the next few days) is very much related to him. Anybody's welcome to guess who that might be! Shouldn't be too hard...

[RoydGolden]

As for Dietrich himself... He's good. Definitely an archetypal Saber, with high stats, powerful Skills and Noble Phantasms. I'd say the two swords for his NPs are enough, combined with a third that lets him claim enemy weapons as his own.

There seems to be a typo (or incomplete sentence) in his first NP with "A fine weapon, forged by phantasmal beings and shining with gleaming" where the sentence just kind of stops without any grammatical ending.

His second NP is rather interesting, though I had to reread the description a couple times to get a feel for what it meant. So, anybody who touches any part of the sword gets cut, even an otherwise blunt part like the sides? The razor wind aspect reminds me of what ZSB (who hasn't been on here in ages, wonder what he's been up to?) used for his own Dietrich profile.

The third NP reminds me a little of Benkei's Eighth Implement from the original Apocrypha draft (back when it was still planned to be an online game rather then an LN), though more powerful since he can keep the weapons permanently and utilize their full power as Noble Phantasms.

Your take on his personality sounds very interesting. I particularly got a kick out of the 'reverse tsundere' mention and to calling Altera 'Sempai'. (I imagine him saying that while trying his best to keep his usual grim-faced warrior expression but blushing awkwardly despite himself)

[Historia]

I think it makes more sense to use Attila given that she actually exists in the Nasuverse by (what's close to) that name. Also, funny to see Theodoric the Great referenced since the next sheet I'm working on (which should be done sometime in the next few days) is very much related to him. Anybody's welcome to guess who that might be! Shouldn't be too hard...

You're churning them out too fast. Slow down. Otherwise they'll continue coming out sub-par. No offense.

[mewarmo990]

Golden Sword of Assured Victory

yeah I think I've written it as "Sworn Victory" sometimes too

But the point is that it's not actually guaranteed which is why you don't make it the same as Excalibur's name.

[RoydGolden]

You're churning them out too fast. Slow down. Otherwise they'll continue coming out sub-par. No offense.

Aw, I thought Morgana was one of my better ones, all things considered. At least, I quite like the idea of her NP. What in particular do you feel is lacking about her?

Regarding the upcoming Servant, I've gotten his Skills and one NP mostly hammered out, so it's just a matter of adding his second one and then fleshing out personality (generally the last thing I do before posting). Should take about a day or two, depending on how much I feel like delving into the finer points of his lore.

By the way, any guesses as to who 'he' might be?

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yeah I think I've written it as "Sworn Victory" sometimes too

But the point is that it's not actually guaranteed which is why you don't make it the same as Excalibur's name.

This was brought up what, how many pages ago?

[mewarmo990]

Well, that depends on how you've configured your forum settings.

[Mcjon01]

This was brought up what, how many pages ago?

At the top of this one, actually.

[Historia]

I think I may have read a book about King Arthur a long time ago, if that counts.

No.

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By the way, any guesses as to who 'he' might be?

No, and quit asking because nobody is going to care enough to give an answer.

No offense.

[RoydGolden]

No.

...Didn't think so.

No, and quit asking because nobody is going to care enough to give an answer.

No offense.

Okay, okay. Yeesh. I was only even bothering to mention since there was a connection to another Servant that was just posted up (Dietrich). You guys are going to be kicking yourselves for not seeing it coming when I post him up though... (Okay, probably not, but whatever)

By the way, I sincerely appreciate you feeling the need to tack on "no offense" to the end of your posts to yours truly concerned. Truly, a modern day knight of chivalry!