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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #7221
    Wandering King 34's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aridwolverine View Post
    Looks really good and well done.
    The most interesting thing, personally, is his first Noble Phantasm. Its pretty creative and potential very powerful. Like, if he's able to compare his master to someone like Karna, then gain his powers, that would be insane. Whats more frightening is that if he's in a team, Plutarch can make all of them top-level overpowered servants. The preparation does make it more 'fair', though that wouldn't be too much of a problem since in a Holy Grail War, there are some time for preparation.

    The second Nobel Phantasm is alright. Definitely reflects his role as an educator. I guess the major criticism I have is that it doesn't tell how long it takes to teach a subject. Yeah, the 'students' can learn and master anything, but how long would it take? A few hours, a day, a week?

    Honestly though, I think this is one of your best sheets so far.
    Thank you very much for the feedback!


    Yeah, when I was writing this, I was thinking that if modern writers like Dumas can produce NPs that can potentially be stronger than original, and Andersen can make people become their 'ideal self', then how OP would the ability of an ancient writer like Plutarch could be...
    Imagine a scenario if the Police-Chief from FSF summoned Plutarch instead of Dumas...


    Fair enough, I would add how long it takes to teach a subject. It probably depends on the person learning it and the subject, could be several hours, could be several minutes, but at the longest, it would take a day.
    Quote Originally Posted by Canon View Post
    "12000 years ago space alien gods and space bacteria gods fought a big space bunny alien that came from a comet until the planet coughed out a sword, also the god was Mars with the power of rainbows and Atilla the Hun was the bunny and the sword is Excalibur"

    "I love your serious story that shows much respect for real life history and mythology"

  2. #7222
    天使を見た Sunny's Avatar
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    The weird things I decide to do on a long, boring trip home. A mild reinvention of my darling favorite early creation, since the bandwagon amused me and made me ask who I'd reinvent as a Summer servant if I had any choice. Refer to the original for a more detailed profile, please - this was a dumb thing given no more effort than it deserves. ^^;

    Class:
    Ruler
    True Name: Paris of Troy (Swimsuit)
    Alignment: Chaotic Summer

    Strength: C
    Endurance: B
    Agility: A
    Mana: B
    Luck: A+
    Noble Phantasm: A

    Before:
    Spoiler:


    After:
    Spoiler:

    Lore:
    Spoiler:
    A mistake that should never have been permitted. An aberration in what it means to be a neutral mediator. The perfect and only judge to decide the most beautiful maiden on the waterside. A Ruler not permitted in any credible Grail War, possible only in the unlikely circumstance that an ill-advised beauty contest be proposed among mankind's greatest legends without the proper limitations of a Holy Grail system. Rather than a proper saint, or a solver of mysteries, the only Ruler willing to lend their judgment to such a test is the woman only suited to impartially decide that one question: what lovely woman is the most beautiful of them all?

    As the arbitrator of the Judgment of Paris, she is the first to point out that she's imminently qualified on this singular, wasteful question: who is the definitively ideal Summer servant? As famous for her arbitration of divine beauty as for her ruin of a nation, she snuck into the definition of Ruler and intends to stay as long as the season permits her.

    As a Ruler, Paris is summoned not as the woman who spent the siege of Troy in comfort with Helen, but the youth who was still independent, newly acknowledged by Priam as his daughter and fresh off the intoxication of her abduction of her promised bride. Not yet skilled with a bow, she instead favors an oar from her yacht, wielded like the shepherd's crook she used growing up. Unfortunately, due to the timing of this manifestation, she is not only a judge but a would-be kidnapper, drunk off her success and happy to misuse the authority with which she's been granted. An impartial, immoral, and inconsiderate judge as likely to cause a new incident as to resolve this one.


    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance
    Rank: A
    Cancels spells of A-Rank or below, no matter what High-Thaumaturgy it is. In practice, the Servant is untouchable to modern magi, so it would not be an exaggeration to title the Servant a 'Magus Killer'.

    True Name Discernment
    Rank: B-
    If summoned as a Ruler, during a direct encounter, a Servant's true name and entire status information will be automatically revealed. In regards to Servants with concealment abilities, a Luck Check is required to bypass those abilities. Of course, this assumes she is actually paying attention.

    God's Resolution (False)
    Rank: -
    The privilege of the ruler presiding over a Holy Grail War. Because she is not an adjudicator in an actual Holy Grail War with properly summoned participants, this skill has been lost. Whether she would be trusted with Command Spells in any situation is another matter entirely.

    Personal Skills:
    Disengage
    Rank: B
    The ability to withdraw from the battlefield in the midst of combat. Whether the battlefield or the beach, few escapes are beyond her reach, no matter how shameful. As for the reason it has ranked down, Ruler admits, it's harder to run away when she keeps looking back to find new enticing things on the way.

    Eye of the Beach (False)
    Rank: B
    A skill that represents the user's aptitude for tracking the presence of others on a beach. A crude hybrid between Eye of the Mind and a very specific form of Presence Detection, differing from its True variant on the basis of an innate sixth sense or intuition rather than a true skill. At this rank, anyone on the beach may be regarded by Ruler as having Beach Flower at an equivalent rank to this skill, and in the case of those who already have the Skill, a plus modifier is attached. A deceptively useful skill when it comes to hunting a specific beach-going beauty.

    Eye for Art (Body)
    Rank: A+
    Infatuation with works of art, scandalously upgraded and combined with the prerogative of her new class. As always, her gaze is drawn to beautiful things, but the summer setting has focused her attention to a fine point. Not just Noble Phantasms, but measurements, cup size, preferences for a date, and even favorite refreshments from the nearest stand. With just a look, this level of insight is possible for her, or so she claims. This skill differs from Human Observation in that Ruler makes no real effort to memorize or even learn the actual history or experiences of her target, superficially attempting to skirt around to the end conclusion. Somehow, she makes it work.

    Noble Phantasm(s):
    Cranae - My Summer Voyage of Love
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: A
    The primary Noble Phantasm of Paris of Troy when summoned as a ruler, a modest sailing yacht once belonging to her brother and named after the island where Paris stopped to consummate her new marriage after the abduction of Helen. While not famous for any navy to speak of, the trojan vessel nevertheless represents the audacity and entitlement of the Trojan princess who had no qualms kidnapping the most beautiful woman in the world from her own husband and children.

    Rather than an offensive Noble Phantasm or a traditional mount, Cranae is more accurately described as a floating base, deployed on the nearest waterfront and continuously maintained for Ruler's use. The vessel has no offensive capability to speak of, representing not a weapon but the neutral ground of a would-be judge and mediator. Once she successfully designates a Servant in the Holy Grail War as a target, spatial transference to Cranae is invoked automatically. The invocation of this designation is short range, requiring visual contact and close proximity to "tag" a would-be target.

    The exterior of the ship is durable, but vulnerable to attack if discovered unless dispelled and redeployed at another time. The interior of the boat is akin to a Reality Marble, a neutral ground in which a single individual can be sealed for as long as Ruler is able to maintain the "locked room." The cost of maintaining Cranae is increased when forced to hold an occupant, with the cost for a Servant being exponentially higher than a human or beast. In addition, no type of attack is allowed within its confines, including infliction of physical and mental damage.

    A gilded cage in which anyone who catches Ruler's interest can be held on an extended "vacation", safe from harm but unable to interfere with the world outside. In theory, the perfect tool of a mediator, an extended "time out" until the offending rulebreaker learns their lesson. In practice, in her hands...

    Well. It's best to avoid catching her eye.

    Wine of Oenone - Revitalizing Water of the Nymph
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B-
    A replenishing font of sparkling water that Ruler carries in a rather modern sports bottle at all times, bestowed upon her from her first wife, the nymph Oenone. It was foretold that the waters of Oenone would be the only thing that could prevent Paris' death at the conclusion of the Trojan war - yet she nevertheless abandoned her ex to pursue Helen, only to beg for forgiveness at the very end. Oenone denied her, leaving the Trojan princess to die a miserable death at the hands of the bow of Heracles and the agonizing pain of hydra venom.

    According to most tellings, Oenone regretted her rejection of the apologetic Paris, yet arrived too late to save her former wife. Oenone was the only one who truly mourned her death, in some versions even throwing herself upon Paris' funeral pyre. Perhaps due to that regret, as an incarnation of Ruler's younger days, she is permitted the use of this Noble Phantasm that would otherwise be denied to her.

    Not unlike the blessings of the lord of the Fianna a single sip of the enchanted drink is enough to undo even the most dire of wounds. Rather than simply stitching together injuries, Oenone's blessing reverses and undoes the very occurrence of the injury, allowing to nullify even the most virulent toxin or infection. Even torn garments are replaced, as good as new. A truly miraculous, all-purpose cure-all.

    ...However, the water still carries Oenone's will, and can be said to be the manifestation of the nymph herself. As such, the working of the blessing depends on her charity towards Paris at that given moment, causing it to backfire against Ruler whenever her antics get to be too much for the long-suffering spirit.
    Last edited by Sunny; August 15th, 2017 at 01:10 AM.


    "She walks as if on heaven’s brink,
    Unscathed through life’s entangled maze."


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    Caster of Blue Status Sheet
    心に抱くその物語
    何を知れば満たされるのだろう?

  3. #7223
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Summer Paris: This is really amazing and hilarious. Without a doubt the best summer Servant to have been posted up here IMO. You managed to decently flesh out everything while still keeping the general tone light and humorous (which is a difficult balance; I tend towards over-describing everything in my own Servant sheets). I love how she has no less then two separate Skills for the sole purpose of ogling pretty women... gotta' admire that dedication.

    ...That said, does she seriously have a yuri-oriented version of Medb's rape-chariot (or rape-ship in her case) as an NP? Run for your lives, girls!

  4. #7224
    天使を見た Sunny's Avatar
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    I tried to honor the inspiration by keeping a similar name scheme, eheh. ^^; But yeah, essentially. Reverse Medb was my first inspiration once I settled on her class. It was hard to decide on her NP, but I decided to go with "something that would actually make sense for a neutral arbitrator if it was being used properly."

    ...She won't use it properly. Protect your kohais, etc.

    Thank you for that, about the skills and approach, though I think others have done better, myself. ^^; The actual Nasu summer sheets are a really fun mix of breezy, silly, and a bit of actual "legit, if you look sideways" explanation, which is hard to juggle effectively.


    "She walks as if on heaven’s brink,
    Unscathed through life’s entangled maze."


    A collection of silly little Saint Graph fragments

    Caster of Blue Status Sheet
    心に抱くその物語
    何を知れば満たされるのだろう?

  5. #7225
    A Two-Named Thief Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Out of all the summer servants on this thread, Summer!Paris is probably one of the better written ones here.

    --EDIT--

    Also with Cormac, Discernment of the Poor doesn't really fit as previously mentioned, perhaps Han's Human Observation would be more appropriate. Also his 1st NP is a higher rank than the likes of the Gae Bolg and Caliburn, it doesn't seem to be on the same level of Stella either - I'd reduce it to B or increase to A as the two '+'s don't seem to work IMO.
    Last edited by Bird of Hermes; August 15th, 2017 at 03:23 AM.
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  6. #7226
    Quote Originally Posted by venomking View Post
    I actually I have a Hamilton sheet somewhere. (Also new guy, why did you remind me of the black keys I spent a 100 dollers trying to get something then black keys, all I got was black keys!!!!!!!!:.)
    Late reply, but simply because I had to remind you of that event.

    It is truly an event worthy of note.
    Rejoice! Your God has arrived!

  7. #7227
    Wandering King 34's Avatar
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    I think I'll make a Soekarno sheet for Indonesia's Independence day (17 August)...
    Quote Originally Posted by Canon View Post
    "12000 years ago space alien gods and space bacteria gods fought a big space bunny alien that came from a comet until the planet coughed out a sword, also the god was Mars with the power of rainbows and Atilla the Hun was the bunny and the sword is Excalibur"

    "I love your serious story that shows much respect for real life history and mythology"

  8. #7228
    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    I got a summer sheet, but I got to wait for my computer to get fixed so I can post a decent picture, but the servant itself is done. But just wait, my halloween servants will blow all of y'alls mind.

  9. #7229
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by venomking View Post
    I got a summer sheet, but I got to wait for my computer to get fixed so I can post a decent picture, but the servant itself is done. But just wait, my halloween servants will blow all of y'alls mind.
    Just make sure to put it through Imgur...

  10. #7230
    Wandering King 34's Avatar
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    Class : Saber
    Alternate Class : Rider, Assassin
    Identity : Hang Tuah
    Origin : Malay Folklore/History (15th Century)
    Alignment : Lawful Good

    PARAMETERS
    STR : B
    END : B+
    AGL : A
    MGI : D
    LCK : E
    NP : C++

    CLASS SKILLS
    Magic Resistance : B
    A skill that grants the Servant protection against magical effects, not by merely rejecting it, but by canceling the spells altogether. At this rank, Saber can cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for him to be affected. Despite being a somewhat modern Servant, Saber lived in a region which mystery and magical power still retained its former power. Saber himself had dealt with several magus and magic users in his life and gained this skill at somewhat high rank as result.

    Riding : C+
    A skill that denotes the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. At this rank, Saber can handle most animals and vehicles with above average skill. However, he cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts. As a Laksamana/Admiral, Saber is especially skilled in operating vehicles resembling a ship and will gain the skill "Voyage" if summoned as Rider.

    PERSONAL SKILLS
    Pencak Silat : A++
    A skill that denotes one’s expertise to perform the Malay martial art, Pencak Silat. It is a full-body fighting form incorporating strikes, grappling and throwing in addition to weaponry. Every part of the body is used and subject to attack. Pencak silat was practiced not only for physical defense but also for psychological ends. At this rank, Saber is capable of performing any and all styles of Silat, but he is especially talented with armed combat and disarming techniques of Pencak Silat.

    Saber is said to be one of history’s greatest Pencak Silat master, and this is evident in his famous duel against Taming Sari and later, Hang Jebat. Both duels were quite similar in which both had him fighting against a wielder of the Kris Taming Sari, which is said to grant its wielder invulnerability. Despite that, Saber managed to disarm the legendary Kris from their hands using a technique from the Silat, depriving them of their invulnerability. Using this skill, it is possible for him to disarm or snatch the enemy’s armament, which is especially useful if the enemy is really dependant of their weapon. With this skill, Saber can fight enemies evenly even if he’s unarmed.

    Protection of Faith : B
    A Skill possessed only by those who have sacrificed themselves for a religious view. Despite being a form of divine protection, it is not a blessing from a higher existence. It is only the absoluteness of one's body and soul, which is born from faith. But if it is too high, it causes abnormalities in the personality. His faith and dedication to serve his Master were what driven him to kill his own childhood friend, who rebelled against the Sultan and committed murderous spree on the palace to avenge Saber’s supposed death. The boundless loyalty Saber displayed to his Master was born from his own religious view, in which he believed that obedience and loyalty to one's ruler are almost as important as the obedience towards the Prophet.

    NOBLE PHANTASM
    Keris Taming Sari
    Enchanted Sword Of The Shielded Flower
    Rank : C++
    Type : Anti-Unit (Self), Anti-Unit
    A mystical Kris that is said to be made of 21 different types of metal, forged by a nameless legendary Javanese magus and blacksmith, the name ‘Taming Sari’ means Flower Shield in Malay. A weapon that has been wielded by 3 great warriors in Saber’s lifetime, originally wielded by a champion of Majapahit, called Taming Sari, from which the weapon derives its name. It is originally in a size of a normal kris (dagger), but because he’s summoned as Saber, the weapon becomes twice as long.

    Lore
    Saber obtained this weapon it in a duel to the death against Taming Sari after which the king of Majapahit presented the weapon to the victor. Later, when Saber was accused of adultery with one of the Sultan concubines, this weapon was seized from Saber and he was ordered to be executed by the Sultan, but fortunately, Saber was sent into hiding by the order of the Bendahara or Prime Minister.

    Later, this weapon was given to Hang Jebat after he was promoted to Laksamana as Saber’s successor. Hang Jebat then used the weapon to carry out a rebellion to avenge Saber’s supposed execution. When Hang Jebat was massacring the resident of the Sultan’s Palace, Saber was eventually called back from his hiding by the Bendahara, with Sultan’s permission and amnesty, he was ordered to kill Hang Jebat the Rebel. After an incredibly long fight, Saber eventually emerged victorious.

    Later when Hang Tuah failed to bring back the princess from Gunung Ledang, he gave the kris to Tun Mamat to be returned to Sultan Mahmud Shah. Hang Tuah then disappeared and was never seen or heard of again. Another version of the legend has it that Hang Tuah threw the dagger into the river, saying that he would return when the kris re-appeared.


    A weapon so skillfully crafted that anyone wielding it was unbeatable. This is because the Noble Phantasm is imbued with great magical enchantment that would make its user physically invulnerable by most physical attacks by channeling its enchantment into the body of the user, which means that any attack below rank-C cannot harm Saber, and the effect of Noble Phantasm with rank B or above only does 3/4 damage as long as weapon is in his hand. This Noble Phantasm cannot provide its effect if the weapon is still sheathed, and must be in the owner's hand to provide its effect. To compensate this, this Noble Phantasm also provides insight to the user by acting as a 6th sense, similar to a C-ranked Eye of The Mind (False).

    This weapon is also inhabited by a powerful mystical spirit of Taming Sari, the original owner of the weapon that has resided inside the Noble Phantasm due to his deep connection to the weapon. Upon the incantation of its true name, this Noble Phantasm will be possessed by the spirit, becoming a sentient weapon that can fight on its own, while still providing invulnerability and insight to Saber.

    Kris Appearance


    ”Personality and stuff”
    Likes: Nasi Lemak, fishing.
    Dislikes: Slanderer, false rumors.
    Talents: Pencak silat, making traditional food.
    Natural Enemies: Gadjah Mada, conspirator.
    Catalyst: Kris Taming Sari.

    Saber’s name means “man who brings luck”, but he is not lucky, at all.

    Because of his past experience with women, he tends to avoid being alone with women to avoid unfortunate gossips.

    There are some historians and rumors which argue that Saber was actually a Chinese. As result, his summoned saint-graph depicts him as a ¼ Chinese.

    Saber’s wish for the grail is to cleanse his name from the ill rumor that resulted in the execution order from the Sultan, which would later cause the rebellion and death of Hang Jebat, his childhood friend, and companion.


    Lore
    Hang Tuah is a legendary Malay hero who lived during the reign of Sultan Mansur Shah of the Sultanate of Malacca in the 15th century. He was the greatest of all the laksamana, or sultan's admirals, and was known to be a ferocious fighter. Hang Tuah is held in the highest regard, even in present-day Malay culture, and is arguably the most well-known and illustrious figure in Malay history and literature.

    Early Years

    Hang Tuah was born in Kampong Sungai Duyong, Malacca, to Hang Mahmud and Dang Merdu Wati. His interest in religious knowledge and skill in the art of self-defence became apparent at a young age, and he was said to be inseparable from his four childhood friends: Hang Kasturi, Hang Jebat, Hang Lekir and Hang Lekiu. Hang Tuah and his close-knit group of friends eventually became the Malaysian equivalent of the Three Musketeers. He perfected his natural abilities at self-defence by practicing silat under a teacher named Guru Adi Putra, who also taught Hang Kasturi, Hang Jebat, Hang Lekir and Hang Lekiu. It was under this teacher's instruction that Hang Tuah also learned how to meditate.

    As a youth, Hang Tuah was first noticed by the Bendahara (in modern parlance, the Prime Minister) of Malacca, Tun Perak. A band of pirates ran amok, causing havoc in a village, and Tun Perak and his guards' attempts to quell the unrest resulted in further attacks on the Bendahara. The Bendahara's guards fled, but when Hang Tuah and his friends saw the commotion, they were reported to have killed the group of pirates, thus saving the Bendahara. Tun Perak was so impressed by the boys' courage that he recruited them to work at the palace, where the five youths rose in the ranks, eventually becoming feared members of the Sultan's royal guard.

    Hang Tuah's Career

    Hang Tuah's illustrious career as an admiral or laksamana includes tales of his absolute and unfaltering loyalty to his Sultan, some of which are chronicled in Sejarah Melayu (the historical Malay Annals) and Hikayat Hang Tuah (a more romantic collection of historical tales).

    Hang Tuah became the Sultan's constant aide, accompanying the King on official visits to foreign countries. On one such visit to Majapahit, Taming Sari, a famous Majapahit warrior, challenged Hang Tuah to a duel. After a brutal fight, Hang Tuah emerged as winner and the ruler of Majapahit bestowed upon him Taming Sari’s kris or weapon. The Taming Sari kris was named after its original owner, and was purported to be magical, empowering its owner with invincibility. It is said to be the source of Hang Tuah’s alleged supernatural abilities.

    Hang Tuah also acted as the Sultan's ambassador, travelling on his Sultan's behalf to allied countries. Another story concerning Hang Tuah's legendary loyalty to the Sultan is found in the Hikayat Hang Tuah, and involves his visit to Inderaputa, in Pahang during one such voyage. The Sultan sent Hang Tuah to Pahang with the task of persuading the princess Tun Teja, who was already engaged, to become the Sultan's companion. Tun Teja fell under the impression that Hang Tuah had come to persuade her to marry him, not the Sultan, and agreed to elope with him to Melaka. It was only during the voyage home that Hang Tuah revealed his deception to Tun Teja.

    The Hikayat Hang Tuah and Sejarah Melayu each carry different accounts of this incident, however. The Hikayat records that it was Hang Tuah who persuaded Tun Teja to elope with him, thus deceiving her. Sejarah Melayu, however, claims that it was another warrior, Hang Nadim, who deceived Tun Teja.

    Perhaps the most famous story in which Hang Tuah is involved is his fight with his closest childhood companion, Hang Jebat. Hang Tuah's deep loyalty to and popularity with the Sultan led to rumours being circulated that Hang Tuah was having an illicit affair with one of the Sultan's concubines. The Sultan sentenced Hang Tuah to death without trial for the alleged offence. The death sentence was never carried out, however, because Hang Tuah's executioner, the Bendahara, went against the Sultan’s orders and hid Hang Tuah in a remote region of Melaka.

    Believing that Hang Tuah was dead, murdered unjustly by the Sultan he served, Hang Jebat avenged his friend's death. Hang Jebat's revenge allegedly became a palace killing spree or furious rebellion against the Sultan (sources differ as to what actually occurred). It remains consistent, however, that Hang Jebat wreaked havoc onto the royal court, and the Sultan was unable to stop him, as none of the Sultan's warriors dared to challenge the more ferocious and skilled Hang Jebat. The Bendahara then informed the Sultan that the only man able to stop Hang Jebat, Hang Tuah, was still alive. The Bendahara recalled Hang Tuah from his hiding place and the warrior was given full amnesty by the Sultan and instructed to kill Hang Jebat. After seven gruelling days of fighting, Hang Tuah was able to kill Hang Jebat.

    It is notable that the two main sources of Hang Tuah's life differ yet again on the details of his life. According the Hikayat Hang Tuah, it was Hang Jebat who avenged his friend's death, only to be killed by the same friend, but according to Sejarah Melayu, it was Hang Kasturi. The Sejarah Melayu is the more purely historical account, but the Hang Jebat story, as the more romantic tale, remains more popular.

    Hang Tuah continued to serve Malacca after the death of Hang Jebat. Later in his life, as Hang Tuah progressed in his years, the warrior was ordered by the successive Malaccan Sultan to court a legendary princess on the Sultan's behalf. The Puteri Gunung Ledang (Princess of Mount Ledang) was so named because she resided on Mount Ledang at the Melaka-Johor border. According to legend, the Princess met with Hang Tuah, and only agreed to marry the Sultan if he satisfied a list of requirements, or pre-wedding gifts. The list included a golden bridge linking Melaka with the top of Gunung Ledang, seven trays of mosquito livers, seven jars of virgins' tears and a bowl of the Sultan's first born son's blood. Hang Tuah knew the tasks would not be fulfilled, and was said to be so overwhelmed that he failed his Sultan that he flung his kris into a river and vowed only to return to Melaka if it resurfaced, which it never did. It was also said that he then vanished into thin air. According to other sources, however, Hang Tuah lived until old age, and his body is said to be have been buried in Tanjung Kling in Melaka, where his tomb can still be seen today.

    Hang Tuah the Legend

    Hang Tuah is famous for saying "Takkan Melayu Hilang di Dunia" which literally means "Malays will never vanish from the face of the earth" or "Never shall the Malay(s) (race) vanish from the face of the earth". The quote is a famous rallying cry for Malay nationalism.

    He remains an extremely popular Malay legend, embodying the values of Malay culture at the time, when allegiance and loyalty were paramount above all else. The Hang Tuah and Hang Jebat story, whether completely truthful or not, represents a paradox in the Malay psyche about loyalty and justice, and remains a point of debate among students of Malay history and literature.

    Last edited by 34; August 16th, 2017 at 09:03 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Canon View Post
    "12000 years ago space alien gods and space bacteria gods fought a big space bunny alien that came from a comet until the planet coughed out a sword, also the god was Mars with the power of rainbows and Atilla the Hun was the bunny and the sword is Excalibur"

    "I love your serious story that shows much respect for real life history and mythology"

  11. #7231
    a blond with green eyes that doesn't look like saber Spartacus's Avatar
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    I don't know about the guy so I will be commenting it purely from your description.

    First of all his skill, Battle Continuation. BC is a skill that manifest because a Servant receive a mortal wound yet able to continue fighting. The keyword is mortal wound, a wound that end up killing you later. From your description, the guy got this skill because he fight someone unarmed? Which he actually survive (and from your description, he doesn't receive any serious wound either)? How does that translate into a mortal wound?

    Second, Protection of The Faith. It is a skill that granted to those who sacrificed themself for a religious view. As far as I know, a Sultan is somekind of a King, Warlord, Shogun, Emperor, etc in the southeast. Unless Sultan is treated like Pharaoh (a king and god, their men worship them), only treated like a king, that doesn't in line with P.o. Faith. Because if so, Bedivere and Gawain should have that skill for their devotion to Artoria.

    Other than the NP rank seems lower than it effect, I think you already did good. Also nice FC, did you draw that by yourself?

    Ps : I'm not trying to picking on you or anything, sorry if I sound a bit mean, people tend to misunderstood my post time to time. That just me in my objective mode, no hard feeling 'kay?

    Click the image to ConQUEST

    Quote Originally Posted by A Certain Redditor
    At least during that long hiatus when we thought Index III was a pipe dream, we could still have hope. Hope for another good season to eventually one day come. Now we've just got... shattered dreams.

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    Wandering King 34's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacus View Post
    I don't know about the guy so I will be commenting it purely from your description.

    First of all his skill, Battle Continuation. BC is a skill that manifest because a Servant receive a mortal wound yet able to continue fighting. The keyword is mortal wound, a wound that end up killing you later. From your description, the guy got this skill because he fight someone unarmed? Which he actually survive (and from your description, he doesn't receive any serious wound either)? How does that translate into a mortal wound?

    Second, Protection of The Faith. It is a skill that granted to those who sacrificed themself for a religious view. As far as I know, a Sultan is somekind of a King, Warlord, Shogun, Emperor, etc in the southeast. Unless Sultan is treated like Pharaoh (a king and god, their men worship them), only treated like a king, that doesn't in line with P.o. Faith. Because if so, Bedivere and Gawain should have that skill for their devotion to Artoria.

    Other than the NP rank seems lower than it effect, I think you already did good. Also nice FC, did you draw that by yourself?

    Ps : I'm not trying to picking on you or anything, sorry if I sound a bit mean, people tend to misunderstood my post time to time. That just me in my objective mode, no hard feeling 'kay?
    Thank you for the feedback!


    1. I think i've explained it, but, he got BC not because he fought unarmed, but because he fought with Hang Jebat for 7 days straight. I think someone either needs to be really durable or just having a really high determination in order to fight a full week with someone that can't even be harmed normally.


    2.Well, like I said, his dedication to serve his Sultan was born from his own religious belief.


    3.Yeah, you're right, i should also change the type, would B-rank Anti-Unit (self) suffice? and to answer your question, no, i didn't draw it, i found it somewhere on google with no source, but i think it's from deviantart.
    Quote Originally Posted by Canon View Post
    "12000 years ago space alien gods and space bacteria gods fought a big space bunny alien that came from a comet until the planet coughed out a sword, also the god was Mars with the power of rainbows and Atilla the Hun was the bunny and the sword is Excalibur"

    "I love your serious story that shows much respect for real life history and mythology"

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    a blond with green eyes that doesn't look like saber Spartacus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThirtyFour34 View Post
    Thank you for the feedback!


    1. I think i've explained it, but, he got BC not because he fought unarmed, but because he fought with Hang Jebat for 7 days straight. I think someone either needs to be really durable or just having a really high determination in order to fight a full week with someone that can't even be harmed normally.


    2.Well, like I said, his dedication to serve his Sultan was born from his own religious belief.


    3.Yeah, you're right, i should also change the type, would B-rank Anti-Unit (self) suffice? and to answer your question, no, i didn't draw it, i found it somewhere on google with no source, but i think it's from deviantart.
    1. BC is not all about being durable. It being about keeping fighting after striked by mortal wound. Like, you continue fighting after your head beheaded, stabbed by countless weapon, you keep fighting after shot by one hit kill attack, etc. If only about being durable, I think there is a lot of skill more in line with that. Or END stat.

    2. Is that so, but I don't think you explain it clearly. If you refer to the 'his faith and dedication to serve his Master...' line, faith in this sense sounds more like a faith to fellow human (like my Gawain and Artoria example before), not religious faith. For example, I have faith in my fellow forumite not to be a peace of shit, that is not religious faith right?

    3. I think so

    Click the image to ConQUEST

    Quote Originally Posted by A Certain Redditor
    At least during that long hiatus when we thought Index III was a pipe dream, we could still have hope. Hope for another good season to eventually one day come. Now we've just got... shattered dreams.

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    1. Right, maybe i should just remove it and increase his END instead.
    2. Yeah, i've just added more description to it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Canon View Post
    "12000 years ago space alien gods and space bacteria gods fought a big space bunny alien that came from a comet until the planet coughed out a sword, also the god was Mars with the power of rainbows and Atilla the Hun was the bunny and the sword is Excalibur"

    "I love your serious story that shows much respect for real life history and mythology"

  15. #7235
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    So I'm making a berserker Ajax, and I'm glueing him three Phantasms the sword of hector, rio auis, the spear of Ajax.
    The sword of hector is only noted as being really sharp blade, so maybe a notably sharp phantasm that increases its sharp ness per every failed strike and the abilty would be perfect for a berserker, rio auis is kinda already known what it does. And his spear I thought it would have power equal to his physical strength, essentailly say a servant has A rank strength then the phanstm becomes an A rank phanatsm. I'm only posting this to make sure that these phanatsms are ok for this sheet, or if I should change something about the Phantasms or take away one of the Phantasms.

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    Mate, that's noice as fuck! Vagrant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by venomking View Post
    So I'm making a berserker Ajax, and I'm glueing him three Phantasms the sword of hector, rio auis, the spear of Ajax.
    The sword of hector is only noted as being really sharp blade, so maybe a notably sharp phantasm that increases its sharp ness per every failed strike and the abilty would be perfect for a berserker, rio auis is kinda already known what it does. And his spear I thought it would have power equal to his physical strength, essentailly say a servant has A rank strength then the phanstm becomes an A rank phanatsm.
    And you're telling us now instead of just posting it when it's ready because...?

    I understand if you were asking advice but you seem like you know what you're doing here. So get writing.

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    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    Check edit.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I'm just not sure about the Phantasms, primary the sword of hector, and want make them make more sense for a berserker to use.

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    吸血鬼 Vampire Express's Avatar
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    The thing about Berserkers is that they're supposed to be crazy. Meaning they probably don't have the mental strength to use three complex NPs, unless you're giving him Mad Enhancement EX for whatever reason.
    Durindana already has a "sword" version you can use. If you really want two NPs I'd go for the spear and the sword or something about his fighting Hector for an entire day while jumping on ships.

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    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    Actully he decided not to use durindana in mythology in case he lost so it wouldn't fall in enemy hands, I don't know how it is the nasu verse, but thx for the suggestion.

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    Stage 1-3


    Stage 4

    - Caster -
    Grimm

    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Alias: King of Fairy Tales
    Origin: Germany

    Parameters

    Strength: (E)
    Endurance: (E)
    Agility: (E)
    Mana: (EX)
    Luck: (D)
    NP: (EX)

    Gender: Male
    Likes: Fairy Tales, Legends, Folklore, Mythology, Philology, Germany, Editing and Adapting Stories
    Dislikes: Poverty, Illness
    Talents: Turning Stories into Timeless Masterpieces
    Attribute: Man
    Catalyst: The original Kinder- und Hausmärchen, Deutsche Sagen, or Deutsches Wörterbuch

    Skills
    Class Skills

    Territory Creation: (C)
    A skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus, such as for the purpose of collecting mana. He does not make a Workshop but rather a ‘Library’ containing a large collection of books.

    Item Creation: (-)
    This skill is lost in favor of his Noble Phantasm.

    Personal Skills

    Discernment of the Poor: (B)
    Insight to see through the opponent’s character and attribute. Caster is not so easily deceived by excuses and deceptions of words. He is likely to grasp the true nature and motive of others in a confrontation. Facing extreme poverty several times, assuming adult responsibilities after his father’s death at age 11, he faced great misfortune. Despite that, Caster pulled through more determined than ever, and learned greatly of life and the value of the weak.

    In a letter written to his aunt at this time, Wilhelm wrote of their circumstances, "We five people eat only three portions and only once a day".

    Eye for Art (Literary): (B+)
    Infatuation to the literary arts. Interested in history and philology, Caster started off studying German medieval literature. From then on, he continued his pursuit of knowledge, reading all sorts of books from legends to folk tales. Should he see a Noble Phantasm possessing literary anecdotes, there is a high chance that he might be able to figure out its true name. In the case that the Noble Phantasm is related to Fairy Tales or German Legends, Caster will undoubtedly determine its true name.

    Librarian of Stored Knowledge: (A)
    Clear recollection of knowledge from memory after a successful Luck roll is possible, even if the information perceived in the past was not consciously acknowledged at the time. At this rank, achieved through having over 200 tales and about 600 legends stored in his mind, Caster can be said to have a perfect memory.

    Hybrid: (EX)
    Denotes one’s condition of being a mixture of two different species. Original Caster was not one but two people; the Brothers Grimm. Jacob Grimm and Wilhelm Grimm always stood with each other from the very beginning, facing whatever hardships that stood on their path, making history. Normally, this would result in the creation of a dual servant. However, in the case of the inseparable Brothers Grimm, their roles became so indistinguishable, that it’s as if they acted as one person. As such, Caster becomes a Hybrid of the two brothers, sharing one mind, one body.


    Noble Phantasm

    Kinder- und Hausmärchen * Deutsche Sagen
    A Book of Aspiration for All
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: EX
    Range: 0
    Maximum Targets: 1 person

    The manuscript of Caster, containing the contents of both Kinder- und Hausmärchen (Children’s hand Household Tales) and Deutsche Sagen (German Legends). It is a Reality Marble comprised of magical fairy tales and legends of heroism. The fame and importance of these tales are such that they inspire and move its readers. It teaches the values and morals many follow today through wondrous stories of imagination, changing the perception of how people view the World. Transcending beyond mere fiction, it has become a core part of humanity and the World, materializing into reality.

    The summoning of characters, tools, spirits, and so forth from Fairy Tales and German Legends are possible. The Big Bad Wolf from “Little Red Riding Hood”, the magic mirror and poisoned apple from “Snow White”, the fairy from “Sleeping Beauty”, and the wish-granting imp from “Rumpelstiltskin” are examples of what can be produced. On the Legend side, for an example, Caster can conjure the [Armor of Fafnir] from “Nibelungenlied” and even weapons such as [Gram] and [Excalibur].

    Nevertheless, it should be known that even though Caster is considered to be one of the Three Great Writers, he doesn’t produce his own literary works. He is only an editor and collector that compiles folklore and legend. That reflects into his Noble Phantasm. The true purpose of this Noble Phantasm is not to write or tell stories, but to collect and refine, expanding his collection, turning them into timeless masterpieces. After hearing, seeing, or researching a folk story, Caster can take the opportunity to write and modify it, improving and adding it into his ever-expanding collection. Depending on the story, it could take serval minutes to several hours, to write all the changes down. In a way, the diversity and quality of the stories is a reason why it’s such an aspiration to many, inspiring its readers to strive to become better people, and making the World a better place even if ever so slightly.



    Lore
    One of the Tree Great Authors, Brothers Grimm; Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm were German academics, philologists, cultural researchers, lexicographers and authors who together collected and published folklore during the 19th century. They were among the best-known storytellers of fairy tales, popularizing stories such as “Cinderella” and “The Frog Prince” to “Sleeping Beauty” and “Snow White”.

    The brothers spent their formative years in the German town of Hanau. Their father's death in 1796 impoverished the family and affected the brothers for many years after. They attended the University of Marburg where they developed a curiosity about German folklore, which grew into a lifelong dedication to collecting German folk tales. The rise of Romanticism during the 19th century revived interest in traditional folk stories, which to the brothers represented a pure form of national literature and culture. With the goal of researching a scholarly treatise on folk tales, they established a methodology for collecting and recording folk stories that became the basis for folklore studies. Between 1812 and 1857, their first collection was revised and republished many times, growing from 86 stories to more than 200. In addition to writing and modifying folk tales, the brothers wrote collections of well-respected German and Scandinavian mythologies, and in 1838 they began writing a definitive German dictionary (Deutsches Wörterbuch), which they were unable to finish during their lifetimes.

    Many of the Grimms' folk tales have enjoyed enduring popularity. The tales are available in more than 100 languages and have been adapted by filmmakers including Lotte Reiniger and Walt Disney, with films such as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Sleeping Beauty. During the 1930s and 40s, the tales were used as propaganda by the Third Reich; declaring every household to own their own copy of Kinder- und Hausmärchen. Later in the 20th century psychologists such as Bruno Bettelheim reaffirmed the value of the work, in spite of the cruelty and violence in original versions of some of the tales, which the Grimms eventually sanitized.
    Last edited by Aridwolverine; August 17th, 2017 at 06:24 PM.

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