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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #7461
    吸血鬼 Vampire massive_jojo_reference's Avatar
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    Faceclaim

    Class: Saber
    Name: 塚原卜伝 (Tsukahara Bokuden)
    H/W: 190cm/100kg
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Place of Origin: Japan
    Likes: Living Peacefully
    Dislikes: Violent Hotblooded Idiots
    Natural Enemy: Any violent Hotblooded Idiot (so bassicaly half the existing canon)
    Abilities: Master Swordsmanship
    Armament: Standard Katana
    Catalyst: Any Eastern Sword

    STR: C
    END:A
    AGI:C+
    MANA: D+
    LUCK: B

    Lore: Born Into a Shinto priest family, But soon joined the ranks of the samurai. He spent most of his childhood trying to learn martial arts. His real test would come when he foolishly (or bravely) challenged Ochiai Torazemon who he defeated. After that He went on a pilgrimage to learn from various teachers, occasionaly some of them were mages, and thaught him (Limited) use of magecraft such as a spell that heals wounds, On his pilgrimage he also challenged and defeated a total of thirty seven great swordsmen which made him one of the most famous people in all of japan.

    Later in life he had calmed down, realising his own hot blooded nature he strived to be different from the other samurai, He oppened his own school of Swordsmanship after reciving a divine inspiration from Takemikazuchi No kami, The god of thunder and lightning.

    By the end of his life he was regarded as a sword saint,a master of the sword, although he was enraged by injustice he strived to always follow his own no-sword-style to fighting stating that he only use violence in either self defense or when having to teach a hotblooded idiot a lesson.

    By a popular story, Miyamoto Musashi challenged him to a fight and struck first. He was a able to block her (his??) sword with a lid of an iron kettle.


    Personality: He is quite taciturn but nevertheless a nice guy, he will always try to get out of conflict. as a heroic spirit he always tries to use his noble phantasm as a last resort but won't hesistate to use it as such, He is filled with determination but is not naive and knows that he has to go through great lenghts to achieve his goal of peace.
    his wish for the grail is to be reborn in modern day so that he could spread his teachings of peaceful resolution to conflict so that world could stand together should it face a threat more powerful than itself.

    Class skills:

    Riding: (C+)

    Magic resitance: (D-)


    Personal Skills:

    Divinity: (B)
    He was a sword saint, while this should have originally should give him a C he also recieved divine inspiration from a god which Raised it by one rank.

    Affections of a god: (A)
    Similar to Affections of the goddess but reserved more towards mortals who were favored by certain god. Takemikazuchi granted him with Divine inspiration which also made saber his avatar (although not the same level as Uesugi Kenshin who was avatar of bishamonten).
    Ranks up all parameters by 1

    Peaceful Spirit: (B)
    He always wanted to resorve conflict with words rather than violence, Grants bonus against Chaotic-Aligned enemies.


    Noble Phantasms:
    The No hands Style of peace: (B)
    The crystalization in form of saber's strugle to achieve peace through peaceful means and always resolve conflict with words rather than violence.
    A noble phantasm that spawns itself as a field roughly three kilometers in diameter, anyone inside this field is immune from harm, but also cannot do any harm
    This field lasts for 30 Minutes and it's effects can be negated by a high mad echantnment rank.

    Takemikazuchi no Shukufuku
    The divine blade of the sword saint: (EX)
    The power to resolve conflict through peaceful means
    The power to smite down evil with a single slash
    The blessed thunder sword of the takemikazuchi no kami i call upon thee!

    A divine sword wielded by the god of thunder himself, Granted to Saber as a gift and a weapon to use to resolve conflict, it takes the shape of a massive 5 metre Nodachi from which' edge lightning pours out. It's destructive power is weaker when wielded by saber but still considerably strong. Besides its destructive power it can also calm down the minds of anyone who is in rage and anger by slashing said someone with the blunt part of the blade which causes no harm.
    even saber himself refuses to use this if so possible, because of its destructive power which contradicts his peaceful nature and nearly consumes all of his Mana afterwards.

    Notes
    I Bassicaly made him a tank with a potato cannon until he uses his Noble phantasm (the second one) and bassicaly tears shit to ground i sorta wanted to make him a peace maker of sorts that fights with deception and provocation rather than head on combat

    also since im not from any english speaking country and im totaly bad at grammar feel free to point out any gramatical mistakes (which im sure there are alot of)
    Last edited by massive_jojo_reference; August 29th, 2017 at 05:36 AM.

  2. #7462
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Bokuden: This is a pretty cool sheet. He sounds like an interesting character with the whole "pacifist swordsman" vibe (wonder how he'd get along with my William Penn?) and his Skills and NPs generally fit. I have a few critiques though. First, Peaceful Spirit could probably be changed to Vitrification while still capturing the same concept, especially since the current effect isn't all too related to "peace" anyways. And Affections Of The Goddess ranks up parameters so if his version is anything similar, you should probably note it in the description. It would also be nice to explain the + and - modifiers in Riding and Magic Resistance.

    His first NP feels way too powerful. It sounds like it's constantly active and even if not, there's pretty much no limitations on him using it or ways to bypass it. Essentially, the second NP is pretty much a waste since with this there's absolutely no reason he could be forced to fight and his very presence basically nullifies the point of the Holy Grail War. I'd strongly suggest adding some limit(s), like having it only be active for a finite time, making it a mental interference effect that can be negated with the relevant Skills or having it only cancel attacks below a certain rank. As is it's way too OP, particularly since it's not even supposed to be his primary NP.

    Takemikazuchi being more powerful then Excalibur also seems like unnecessary wank, but I'll forgive it since it was a weapon literally wielded by a god.

  3. #7463
    吸血鬼 Vampire massive_jojo_reference's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Bokuden: This is a pretty cool sheet. He sounds like an interesting character with the whole "pacifist swordsman" vibe (wonder how he'd get along with my William Penn?) and his Skills and NPs generally fit. I have a few critiques though. First, Peaceful Spirit could probably be changed to Vitrification while still capturing the same concept, especially since the current effect isn't all too related to "peace" anyways. And Affections Of The Goddess ranks up parameters so if his version is anything similar, you should probably note it in the description. It would also be nice to explain the + and - modifiers in Riding and Magic Resistance.

    His first NP feels way too powerful. It sounds like it's constantly active and even if not, there's pretty much no limitations on him using it or ways to bypass it. Essentially, the second NP is pretty much a waste since with this there's absolutely no reason he could be forced to fight and his very presence basically nullifies the point of the Holy Grail War. I'd strongly suggest adding some limit(s), like having it only be active for a finite time, making it a mental interference effect that can be negated with the relevant Skills or having it only cancel attacks below a certain rank. As is it's way too OP, particularly since it's not even supposed to be his primary NP.

    Takemikazuchi being more powerful then Excalibur also seems like unnecessary wank, but I'll forgive it since it was a weapon literally wielded by a god.
    There is nothing stopping people and servants from walking out of the no harm field but I quess I can make it limited time.

    As for second one... Yeah I did go overboard I sorta balanced it with him refusing to use it and it being limited by Takemikazuchi but I quess I'm gonna go the usual way of "consumes a shitload of Mana".

    As for affections has the same function I just didn't state it here.

    As for his class skills C would be unmodified but because samurai were expert horsemen I added a plus because putting anything above C for a heroic spirit that is not remembered for riding something felt half assed.
    And for magic resistance well I would put E because he never faced magic in his life (against him) but because he is a sword saint and has divinity I placed it at D-
    Last edited by massive_jojo_reference; August 28th, 2017 at 08:40 PM.

  4. #7464
    吸血鬼 Vampire
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    Quote Originally Posted by massive_jojo_reference View Post
    Its full power is roughly several dozen times that of excalibur
    So...for some comparisons.

    Excalibur is Rank A++ and is literally some sort of planetary level defense laser.
    Photon Ray is Rank A++ and is literally the Sword of the God later known as Ares/Mars what have you.

    This sword here is several dozen times more powerful than a key component of Gaia's Counter Force used for taking down Eldritch Abominations and Alien God Machines or the Panoply of another major (at least peer level) God.

    So...Nippon Ichiban? Katanas are just better?

    Really using Excalibur as a frame of comparison is almost as bad as using Ea as a frame of comparison. It's supposed to be kind of special.
    Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; August 29th, 2017 at 12:21 AM.

  5. #7465
    吸血鬼 Vampire massive_jojo_reference's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theoneandonlyz View Post
    So...for some comparisons.

    Excalibur is Rank A++ and is literally some sort of planetary level defense laser.
    Photon Ray is Rank A++ and is literally the Sword of the God later known as Ares/Mars what have you.

    This sword here is several dozen times more powerful than a key component of Gaia's Counter Force used for taking down Eldritch Abominations and Alien God Machines or the Panoply of another major (at least peer level) God.

    So...Nippon Ichiban? Katanas are just better?

    Really using Excalibur as a frame of comparison is almost as bad as using Ea as a frame of comparison. It's supposed to be kind of special.
    There seems to be a misunderstanding here
    I stated that it's Full power is several dozen time that of Excalibur but I also stated it is limited by Takemikazuchi while it is in hands of saber and thus significantly weaker

    But I do quess it's a stupid comparison anyways so I'm going to remove that bit

  6. #7466
    吸血鬼 Vampire
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    Quote Originally Posted by massive_jojo_reference View Post
    There seems to be a misunderstanding here
    I stated that it's Full power is several dozen time that of Excalibur but I also stated it is limited by Takemikazuchi while it is in hands of saber and thus significantly weaker

    But I do quess it's a stupid comparison anyways so I'm going to remove that bit
    On the other hand using it to calm people down by hitting them with the blunt part of it is a neat extra effect. That's pretty nice.

  7. #7467
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Imo, if a nipponic swordfighter doesnt use physics mumbo jumbo to break reality, especially if he is a Sword Saint, the character has failed

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
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  8. #7468
    吸血鬼 Vampire Express's Avatar
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    RIDER

    Source: https://gbf.wiki/images/7/77/Ayer_%28Summer%29_A.png
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    True Name: Yeshua bar Joseph Ha’Mashiach (Jesus Lily)
    Origin: Historical, Christianity

    Parameters
    Strength: D
    Endurance: C
    Agility: D
    Mana: A
    Luck: D
    NP: A+

    Class Skills
    Magic Resistance: (E)
    Magic Resistance grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether.
    90% of his body is unable to resist magecraft of any kind, simply diluting the effect by a fraction. However, he is thus able to resist magecraft at a conceptual level when adopting a blocking stance, thanks to his Shroud Noble Phantasm. He doesn’t seem to realize it only covers his arms.

    Dragon Riding: (-)

    The special skill necessary for riding members of the Dragon Kind. Separate from the normal Riding skill.
    Even though all animals loved him, Rider seems to be able to only ride dragons in this form.

    Personal Skills:
    Ephemeral Dream: (EX)
    Ephemeral Dream is a Skill that represents one's life born from illusions/from a person's desire.
    A product of Jesus’s unknown and irrelevant childhood and teenage years, specifically drawn from the apocrypha of the New Testament--specifically that of Pseudo-Matthew. A radically different Messiah than what one would expect, he is still technically not an aspect of his legend that could be called “Alter”. It’s this skill that obviously gives him his young appearance, and perhaps is the only reason that the Divinely-Heroic “Savior of the World” can even be summoned in any ordinary Grail system without copious alterations.

    Berserk: (C)
    Berserk is a composite Skill of Bravery and Mad Enhancement. Grants the user the ability to negate mental interference such as pressure, confusion and fascination. It also has the bonus effect of increasing melee damage
    The wrath of a child with too much power and too few responsibilities. Yeshua as a concept was born free of sin, but if there’s anything that comes close, it would be his glorious anger. Thankfully, it seems to have faded later in his life, but not before destroying quite a few arguably innocent children. When active it’s the equivalent of throwing a tantrum that’s gotten way out of hand.

    Divinity: (A)

    Divinity is the measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit, and the level declines when the Heroic Spirit's own rank as a Monster or Demonic Beast raises. It can also decrease due to one's dislike for the gods. Those who have A Rank Divinity or above has reached the throne of a god. It also has an effect which reduces special defensive values called 'purge defense' in proportion to the Divinity's Rank. It can break through Skills such as Protection of the Faith and Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig.
    Although his Divinity would broach the realm of a true god later in his life, the son of YHVH has been summoned in the propensity of “a simple demigod” rather than “one who is God incarnate”. However, his grandfather by way of his mother Mary is rumored to be the angel Michael, enacting the first of a series of immaculate conceptions in Yeshua’s lineage.

    Jacob’s Limbs: (B)
    Jacob's Limbs is a method of hand-to-hand combat of old that was continuously inherited from Jacob, to Moses, and finally to Yeshua. According to legends, a saint who mastered this would for sure beat to death an 'angel of destruction' that leads 12,000 angels.
    A technique he learned from Big Sis Martha from their various encounters; beginning with staying over at Simon’s house after his parents left him behind on their voyage back from Jerusalem, his tutelage continuing after he moved into Martha’s house semi-permanently after Joseph’s death. Ironically, despite being a fighting style developed by his own ancestor, the bare-knuckle nun of Bethany was a far more appropriate mentor.

    Charisma: (E+++)
    Charisma is a composite Skill consisting of a person's charm as well as the natural talent to command or unify an army or country. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. A rare talent, and an ability inherent to Servants of the Saver class.
    As this is an incarnation of Rider from before he was “one beloved across the entire planet”, his Charisma is extremely hampered. Rather, it’s of a rank befitting the Tyrant Brat of Nazareth; frightening his little hometown into electing him as a sort of Lord of the Flies type king. Because he is still the Chosen Son of YHVH, the curse-like effects of A+ Charisma are still present in its lower, fearmongering form. A relatively nice boy until you make him angry.

    Noble Phantasm

    Shroud of Paroketh
    Holiest of Holy Knuckle Wraps: Dolorous Jab
    (Anti-Unit, A)

    Yeshua’s main Noble Phantasm, something that can definitely be called a Mystic Code, a Holy Shroud, but also a set of bandage-like wraps around his knuckles. In reality, the shroud is less of a traditional burial shroud as much as it is a repurposed curtain. It was the dividing veil that separated the Holy of Holies and the Tabernacle from the rest of the unclean world. A symbol of the God of the Old Testament, only a consecrated priest could pass through the veil without immediately being annihilated, and even then only on a single day per year after going through hours of prior arrangements. It represented a “closed off God who watched from afar”, one who still believed in the tradition of sacrifices. After the death of Jesus on the cross, the veil was said to have split right up the middle, only something the grief of YHVH could accomplish. After the Holy of Holies was revealed to the rest of the world, it was taken as an omen that Jesus’s sacrifice had absolved humanity as a species, allowing anyone to feel the love of the Lord.
    As a Noble Phantasm, it isolates Yeshua’s arms in the True Age of Gods. Technically his Saint Graph--if viewed like a blueprint--wouldn’t come with anything past either elbow. His arms are considered incarnated so long as they remain underneath the wraps. Striking an opponent will “cast the judgment of the God of the Tabernacle” on them, an ultra-power Instant-Death effect that systematically annihilates anything that YHVH would consider unworthy to touch his son. However, because the wraps are already pretty ratty, the effect isn’t as potent as it could have been. It can be resisted with a sufficient rank in Divinity or Protection of the Faith. It is a potent Anti-Spirit attack similar to the Baptism Rite skill, while being completely useless on anything that doesn’t possess mana. If the wraps should be shredded or taken off, the effect of the Noble Phantasm can never be regained even if reapplied exactly the way they were before. However, should the wraps be applied to an injured body that is not Rider’s, the shroud will demonstrate healing abilities bordering on the resurrective.
    In the Gospel of Pseudo-Matthew, the young Messiah was rather liberal in his views of dispensing vigilante smitings at the smallest of provocations. Between killing one boy for splashing a puddle of water that Jesus was playing with, to murdering another for simply scuffing his sandals, there was a reason he was the feared boy-king of the Nazareth streets. It was written that he need only speak a word to kill the people he did, but he actually punched them. A lot.

    Rahab Salach
    King of Beasts, King over Beasts
    (Anti-Army, A)

    “And when they had come to a certain cave and wished to rest in it, the blessed Mary came down from the beast, and sat and held the child Jesus in her lap. Now there were with Joseph three youths, and with Mary a certain damsel, who went on their way at the same time; and behold there suddenly came out of the cave many dragons, seeing which the youths cried out through excessive fear. Then Jesus, descending from his mother's lap, stood on his feet before the dragons, and they adored Jesus and then departed from them. Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by David the prophet, saying, Praise the Lord from the earth, ye dragons, ye dragons and all deeps. And the little infant Jesus, walking before them, commanded them to hurt no man. But Mary and Joseph feared greatly lest perchance the little infant should be injured by the dragons. And Jesus said to them. Fear not, nor consider me because I am a little infant, for I was, and am ever perfect; it must needs be that all the wild beasts of the woods should grow tame before me.”
    Infamous among the exploits of the young Messiah, the pacification of so many of the mightiest Transcendent Kind. Although unremarkable as a group; Rider is capable of summoning any of the individuals he met that night under the blanket name of Rahab Salach (“The Forgiven Uproar”). Given that Rider’s instructions that Rahab Salach must “harm no man”, Rider gets around this self-imposed handicap by turning his mount into a Great Burrowing Tunnel Rupture Anti-Environment charge.
    More importantly, it seems Rider’s perceptions of the dragons as an infant has significantly warped the form in which Rahab Salach appears...no matter how you look at it, it just screams “overgrown iguana mascot character”.



    Last edited by Express; August 29th, 2017 at 11:35 PM.

  9. #7469
    灼け落ちない翼 Sunny's Avatar
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    Jesus Lily works better than it has literally any right to, lol. The holy/holey gloves pun makes me think of chaos in Xenosaga to the point I'm curious if it was an inspiration. Overall a very creative concept that makes the silly basis seem credible and memeworthy and it's a nice bookend to the Jacob's Limbs school of "You are already saved." He's pretty flawed but in a way that makes him a good character in a work.

    As to the first NP on Bokuden, to be fair, Nightingale Pledge does essentially a similar thing but with healing too and hats a D rank. So it's probably not that OP as it was, since a sufficiently higher rank NP or determination or plot armor could get over it if a story needed it to. A peace field you can exit isn't too bad. I think the rest of the constructive criticism has been on point, though. ^^


    Casters do their best now and are preparing.
    Please wait warmly until it is ready.


    A collection of silly little Saint Graph fragments

  10. #7470
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Jesus Lily is my current favorite servant.

    I have zero complaints

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  11. #7471
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six asterism42's Avatar
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    I like to think he and Martha became friends after an epic fistfight.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
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    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?

  12. #7472
    A Two-Named Thief Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    I have seen regular Jesus here, I have seen Loli!Jesus, I've even seen Biker!Jesus. Teen Punk Jesus Lily is hands down my favourite. I'd tip my hat if I hadn't lost it.
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    It's official. Hermes is the old man hipster of CaS.

  13. #7473
    吸血鬼 Vampire
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    Quote Originally Posted by asterism42 View Post
    I like to think he and Martha became friends after an epic fistfight.
    It inevitably ends with a cross counter double KO.

    Then Mary pours water on both of them.

  14. #7474
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Express sheet has Martha as his teacher.

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  15. #7475
    吸血鬼 Vampire
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    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    Express sheet has Martha as his teacher.
    They still have to have met first.

    It's still Jesus.

    Something, something, sometimes a novice can get a hit in on a master simply because of how unpredictable/unexpected their random, unskilled flailing can be.

  16. #7476
    吸血鬼 Vampire massive_jojo_reference's Avatar
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    I have a great idea thats either stupidly genious or just fucking stupid.

    Moon cancer class servant - The Internet


    Last edited by massive_jojo_reference; August 30th, 2017 at 05:13 PM.

  17. #7477
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Hawkeye's Avatar
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    Jesus Lily is the most amazing servant I've seen here. I came to post a profile, but it doesn't match up at all. XD

    Lancer
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    True Name: Peter Pan
    Origin: Fictional, English Literature

    Parameters
    Strength: B
    Endurance: D
    Agility: A+
    Mana: C
    Luck: D
    NP: C

    Class Skills
    Magic Resistance [C] - Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals. In Lancer's case, this ability is derived from his Noble Phantasm.


    Personal Skills:
    Eye of the Mind (False) [A] - The ability grants an effect of offering resistance against penalties caused by visual obstructions. Being able to see through the weapon and style of one's opponent after crossing blades only a few times, the perception of one's eyes is the best among Servants. For Lancer, who was said to have keen eyes and ears and a sixth sense for danger, this skill is a natural fit for him.

    Me and My Shadow [B] A sentient shadow that detaches from the user. It can act as a spy. A form of pseudo-familiar, its range is much more limited than it was in his tale, only being able to go 40 meters at best from Lancer.


    Noble Phantasm


    Little White Bird: The Boy who Wouldn't Grow Up
    Rank: D
    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)

    Peter Pan's nature crystallised in his own body. An immortal youth, never changing, with strange powers, able to become one with the wind and awaken nature around him. He has surpassed humanity to become a form of elemental, and yet, because such creatures cannot be summoned normally, the effect of this ability has been limited to control over wind. Normally existing as a shroud that encircles his body with a flurry of leaves, it is easy to manipulate this air current to allow him to fly through the air.




    Pan in Scarlet: Blood in the Water
    Rank: C
    Type: Anti-Unit

    Not a true name, but one taken by Lancer to describe a unique attack manifested by Little White Bird. By spiraling air around his arm, he can turn it into a powerful lance that will punch clean through ship hulls, and even worse, humans, with ease. Due to the concentrated power of this attack, it is a rank higher than the Phantasm from which it originates, but comes with the problem that the defensive whirlwind that surrounds him dies down when using it, leaving him open to attack.
    Last edited by Hawkeye; August 30th, 2017 at 09:36 PM.
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    are MILFS and lolis the only two types of women you think exist in Ireland?
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  18. #7478
    リビングデッド Living Dead Aridwolverine's Avatar
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    All of creation surrounded him, and the throng of angels who had come forth from him. So, he declared to them and throughout all the spheres of heaven and the abyss; “I am a jealous god and there is no other god beside me.” But by announcing this, he suggested to the angels with him that there is another god. For if there were no other god, of whom would he be jealous?


    Source

    True Form

    - Alter Ego -

    Yaldabaoth

    Alternate Classes: Saver, Beast
    Alignment: Chaotic Evil
    Alias: Demiurge, God of Control, Archon, Child of Chaos, First Ruler, Ignorant Darkness, Samael, Sakla
    Origin: Gnosticism

    Parameters

    Strength: (E)
    Endurance: (E)
    Agility: (E)
    Mana: (E)
    Luck: (E)
    NP: (E)

    Gender: Inapplicable; referred to as “Male”
    Likes: Control, Power, Noah
    Dislikes: Disobedience
    Talents: Pretending to be God
    Natural Enemy: Satanael, Grigori, YHWH, Sophia, Jesus Christ
    Attribute: Sky
    Components: Corrupted fragments of Sophia

    Skills

    Class Skills

    Independent Manifestation: (A)
    A special skill that permits unsupported manifestation into reality, without necessity of energy cost or of summoning by a Master; effectively, the Skill serves as an enhanced version of Independent Action. Being that the skill holder is signified as a confirmed existence, a resistance is rendered against the instantaneous imposition of death and attacks affected by time manipulation.

    Godly Divine Core: (A-)
    A skill that expresses one's nature as a perfected god from birth. A composite that includes the skill Divinity, preserves the absoluteness of the mind and body, repels mental interference and protects the body from growth or change no matter how many calories are ingested. Originally, Alter Ego was the child of Sophia (Wisdom); an eternal Being of purity and incorruptibility, a member of the transcendent Godhead. At birth, the offspring took great power from the mother, using it to create other realms with luminous fire for himself. However, Alter Ego is wicked and evil; corruption and chaos in its purest form. All the atrocities he committed further emphasizes this, as he lives in arrogance and shrouds his true heritage in falsehoods as the first impurity to stain the heavens. Because of this, it would be more appropriate to classify him as a True Demon rather than a god.

    Authority of the Jealous God: (A)
    An Anti-Divinity skill brought about by Alter Ego’s nature. It can be seen as a variation of the Authority of the Beast skill. Alter Ego gains a damage boost against Divine Spirits, and all things that originated outside of the World. Also, it works against those who are worshipped as gods. All his summons and subordinates inherit this skill.

    Personal Skills

    Summoning: (EX)
    A magecraft that evokes spiritual bodies from the past, or possibly from the future. Alter Ego, by default, can summon 7 Divine Spirits.

    Seven of them reign over the seven heavens as their kings, one for each sphere. Known as the Hebdomad, they are called Archons or “Rulers”. Each of them designate the seven planetary divinities as well as a corresponding power.

    Athoth who is goodness and the Moon
    Elaios who is forethought and Mercury
    Astaphaios who is divinity and Venus
    Yao who is lordship and Jupiter
    Sabaoth who is kingdom and Mars
    Adonaios who is jealousy and the Sun
    Sabbataios who is understanding and Saturn

    All the Archons are capable familiars whose power level exceeds that of even the mightiest of servants, with the Hebdomad being the strongest. Each possess their own distinct personalities, but share a hivemind connected with Alter Ego. Despite this, when giving orders from Alter Ego, they behave almost like automatons, absolute obedience in whatever Alter Ego tells them to do. Another thing, each of them have the ability to generate their own army of angels, up to maximum total of 365 at a time. These angels are nowhere near as strong as the Archons, although their power is on average equivalent to that of a mid to high tier servant.

    Omni-Creator: (EX)
    The personal skill of Alter Ego that expresses the Divine Authority of the Child of Chaos as “a self-proclaimed omnipotent being”. In his early years of life, before creation itself, Alter Ego flaunted his false authority as the Supreme Being, performing the first and ultimate act of blasphemy, denouncing YHWH’s name. Unbelievably, as time progress, angels and seraphim alike fell for his lies, worshipping him as if he was God. Fundamentally speaking, this power provides the core foundation of his summoning as an Alter Ego class. As the primordial fool, by proclaiming his status as the true God, all other Divine beings become mere aspects of his being. Essentially, he utilizes the power of “lesser” gods as components for his “Saint Graph”, which combines to formulate his existence as the jealous and arrogant faker. By doing so, Alter Ego attains their abilities, adding to his own. He also gains the ability to transform his appearance to look like there’s, just like how he controlled the seraphim to obeying by showing them the ‘face’ they want to see. The potential and possibilities of this skill is unlimited.

    As the saying goes, “an imitation can never surpass the original”. Even when impostering YHWH, the divine the power he controlled was nowhere the level of the Lord. In reality, anyone who knows the true can tell that Alter Ego’s true potential is nowhere near that of the supreme being. To reflect that, despite gaining the targets abilities, parameters, Noble Phantasms etc., they are one rank lower than the original. Once the masses realize the truth, the choice of rejection becomes possible, and all of Alter Ego’s components will rapidly disappear, along with all the falsehoods, leaving only a husk of false glory in its wake.

    Church of the Mad God: (EX)
    A unique skill of one who is worshiped as God despite not actually being one. Working in conjunction with the Omni-Creator skill, all religions and churches of the World become followers of Alter Ego, unbeknownst of the individual. Substituting himself as zealot’s God, by possessing its components. With this, all religious followers are reduced to mindless, obedient subordinates upon confrontation. Contradictory to the Fate System, resistance against this ability is not based upon magic resistance but on one’s lack of faith. Skills such as Soul of a Martyr, Protection of the Faith, and Zealotry will not offer protection, instead it would provide the opposite effect. Possessing these types of skills would nearly, if not outright make it impossible to defend against this effect.

    Regardless of faith, attaining Gnosis would offer complete immunity against this skill. Gnosis, Greek for knowledge, signifies an insight into man’s real nature as Divine, leading to the deliverance of the Divine spark within man from the constraints of earthly existence. In other words, anyone who understands the truth behind the Divine cannot be affected by Alter Ego’s lies.


    Noble Phantasm

    Gnosis
    The Problem of Evil
    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
    Rank: (E)
    Range: 0
    Maximum Targets: 1

    This Noble Phantasm symbolizes the very existence and manifestation of Alter Ego. Portrayed as the Creator in Gnosticism, he is the embodiment and answer to the problem that challenges the belief in the existence of a perfect God; the “logical problem of evil”.

    The Problem of Evil goes like this:

    If God is omnipotent, he would be able to prevent all of the evil and suffering in the world.

    If God is omniscient, he would know about all of the evil and suffering in the world and would know how to eliminate or prevent it.

    If God is perfectly good, he would want to prevent all of the evil and suffering in the world.

    Yet, Evil exists.

    These statements are logically inconsistent, as not all of them can be true at the same time. The existence of evil and suffering in the World poses a serious threat to the beliefs of various religions throughout. It makes theists’ belief in the existence of a perfect God irrational and inconsistent. However, despite the inconsistency, it does not outright prove the non-existence of God. Rather it offers two main conclusions; either there is no God, or God is not good. Gnosticism serves as a belief to solve the question by claiming the World was created not by a benevolent Being, but by a malevolent God.

    If Angra Mainyu is “All the World’s Evil” than Alter Ego is the Primordial Evil, an existence that existed before the creation of reality, where all evil came from. As such, Alter Ego is absolutely immune to all forms of corruption and impurities, such as All the World’s Evils and the black mud, for nothing is more tainted than he. If anything, a reversal-like phenomenon would occur, where they become even further corrupted by Alter Ego’s taint.

    As a Noble Phantasm, it is ultimately useless. Its prime purpose is that of a symbol and an anchor. A symbol of evil that’s responsible for all the world’s sufferings and an anchor that prevents humanity from reaching the ranks of angels as God intended. Also, it solidifies its existence as a pretender, no matter how hard he tries to steal another god’s identity, no matter how much he insists in being the true God, he will always remain a faker.


    Birth

    Before the beginning, there was an eternal realm filled with light, pure, holy, immaculate. Perfect in incorruptibility, a plane where life sprang eternal, a land of blissful paradise. Within this eternal realm resides Sophia who is Wisdom itself. She conceived a though for herself, she wanted to conceive something just like herself, without consent, without approval, without her partner and without his consideration. Her partner did not give approval. So, without the invisible spirit’s consent (whom Sophia was created from) nor with the knowledge of her partner, she nonetheless gave birth. Because of the invincible power within her, her thought was not an idle thought. Something came out of her that was imperfect and different in appearance from her, for she had produced it without her partner. It did not resemble its mother and was misshapen.

    When Sophia saw what her desire had produced, it changed into the figure of a snake with the face of a lion. Its eyes were like flashing bolts of lightning. She cast it away from her, outside that realm so that none of the immortals would see it. She had produced it ignorantly.

    She surrounded it with a bright cloud and put a throne in the middle of the cloud so that no one would see it except the holy spirit, who is called the mother of the living. She named her offspring Yaldabaoth.


    Backstory

    Yaldabaoth took great power from his power. When he gained consciousness, he was all alone, his mother nowhere in sight. The only thing he had was the invincible power he inherited from her. Yaldabaoth interpreted his loneliness not as a sign of abandonment, but as an idea that he was the first and only being in existence. He began to believe that he was God.

    With his luminous fire, Yaldabaoth organized his own World Order so that he might create everything in an incorruptible form. Not that he had seen incorruptible ones. Rather, the power that is in him, that he had taken from his mother, produced in him the pattern for the World Order.

    A voice called from the exalted heavenly realm. The first ruler, Yaldabaoth, heard the voice and thought it had come from his mother believing that if someone were to exist before him, it would be her. He did not realize its source. In truth, it was Barbelo, the first emanation of YHWH, the mother-father, the holy spirit and the invisible spirit as well as the first human. She presented herself along with her child Geradamas, the self-conceived one who was perfect, to all the heavenly realms. The entire realm of the first ruler shook, and above the material World was lighted by this image that had appeared. The human appears.

    Yaldabaoth said to the authorities with him, “Come, let us create a human being after the image of god and with a likeness to ourselves, so that this human image may give us light”. They created through their respective powers, according to the features that were given to them. Each of the authorities contributed a psychical feature corresponding to the figure of the image they had seen. They created a being like the perfect first human and said, “Let us call it Adam, that its name may give us power of light”.

    In all, the number of angels working together were 365. But for a long time, their creation did not stir or move at all. When the mother wanted to take back the power she had relinquished to the first ruler, she prayed to the most merciful mother-father of all. With a sacred command, the mother-father sent five luminaries down to the place of the angels of the first ruler. They advised him so that they might recover the mother’s power.

    They said to Yaldabaoth, “Breathe some of your spirit into the face of Adam, and then the body will arise”. He breathed his spirit into Adam. The spirit is the power of his mother, but he did not realize this, because he lives in ignorance. The mother’s power went out of Yaldabaoth and into the psychical body that had been made to be like the one who is from the beginning.

    At once the rest of the powers became jealous. Although Adam had come into being through all of them, and they had given their power to this human, Adam was more intelligent than the creators and the first ruler. When they realized that Adam was enlightened, and could think more clearly than they, and was stripped of evil, they took and threw Adam into the lowest part of the whole material realm.

    The blessed, benevolent, merciful mother-father had compassion for the mother’s power that had been removed from the first ruler. The rulers might be able to overpower the psychical, perceptible body once again. So, with its benevolent spirit and great mercy the mother-father sent a helper to Adam, an enlightened afterthought who is from the mother-father and who was called life. She helped the whole human, laboring with it, restoring it to its fullness, teaching it about the descent of the seed, teaching it about the way of ascent, which is the way of descent. Enlightened afterthought was hidden within Adam so that the rulers might not recognize her, but that afterthought might be able to restore what the mother lacked.

    Enlightened afterthought hid herself within Adam. The first ruler wanted to take her from Adam’s side, but enlightened afterthought cannot be apprehended. While darkness pursued her, it did not apprehend her. The first ruler removed part of Adam’s power and created another figure in the form of a female, like the image of afterthought that had appeared to him. He put the part he had taken from the power of the human being into the female creature.

    Adam saw the woman beside him. At once enlightened afterthought appeared and removed the veil that covered his mind. He recognized his counterpart and said, “This is now bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh. For this reason, a man will leave his father and his mother and will join himself to his wife, and the two of them will become one flesh. For his partner will be sent to him, and he will leave his father and his mother. Our sister Sophia is the one who descended in an innocent manner to restore what she lacked. For this reason, she was called life, that is, the mother of the living, by the forethought of the sovereignty of heaven and by the afterthought that appeared to Adam. Through her have the living tasted perfect knowledge. As for me, I appeared in the form of an eagle on the tree of knowledge, which is the afterthought of the pure enlightened forethought, that I might teach the human beings and awaken them from the depth of sleep. For the two of them were fallen and realized that they were naked. Afterthought appeared to them as light and awakened their minds”.

    When Yaldabaoth realized that the humans had withdrawn from him, he cursed his earth. He found the woman as she was preparing herself for her husband. He was master over her. And he did not know the mystery that had come into being through the sacred plan. The two of them were afraid to denounce Yaldabaoth. He displayed to his angels the ignorance within him. He threw the humans out of paradise and cloaked them in thick darkness.

    The first ruler saw the young woman standing next to Adam and noticed that the enlightened afterthought of life had appeared in her. Yet Yaldabaoth was full of ignorance. So, when the forethought of all realized this, she dispatched emissaries, and they stole life out of Eve. The first ruler defiled Eve and produced in her two sons, a first and a second: Elohim and Yahweh.

    One is just, the other is unjust. He placed Yahweh over fire and wind, he placed Elohim over water and earth. He called them by the names Cain and Abel, with a view to deceive.

    When Adam came to know the counterpart of his own foreknowledge, he produced a son like the human child. He called him Seth, after the manner of the heavenly race in the eternal realms. Similarly, the mother sent down her spirit, which is like her and is a copy of what is in the realm of fullness, for she was going to prepare a dwelling place for the eternal realms that would come down. The human beings were made to drink water of forgetfulness by the first ruler, so that they might not know where they had come from. For a time, the seed remained and helped so that when the spirit descends from the holy realms, it may raise up the seed and heal what it lacks, that the entire realm of fullness may be holy and lack nothing.
    Last edited by Aridwolverine; August 31st, 2017 at 06:10 PM.

  19. #7479
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Well, that Jesus Lily was freaking incredible. I'd been putting off writing one up for ages, but I might as well throw that idea in the dustbin since you've already done infinitely more justice to it then I ever could've. Sunny already summed up most of what I'd say here; so I'll just mention I'm a little sad to see there's no mention of his miracles from the Infancy Gospel. Shaping water into perfect spheres and molding live doves from clay is some pretty cool stuff that could've made for at least a Personal Skill, though I understand he's stuffed to the gills with such already. Maybe nix Charisma and give him the Miracle Skill instead? I dunno'. I'm just throwing stuff out here...

  20. #7480
    屍食鬼 Ghoul
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    Has Astolfo got other NPs? I knew he could be invoked as Saber, but I did not find the reason for it.
    I wanted to make a record of this version of him.

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