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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #8021
    Across This New Borderline RoydGolden's Avatar
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    zikari8: I don't know what to be more surprised by, that you wrote up six high-quality sheets so quickly or that you didn't post up two of these to the contest that's been going on. Seriously, while you're not technically supposed to double-dip, if you delete two of those sheets and post them up over in the other thread then you'd probably still have a chance.

  2. #8022
    天使を見た Sunny's Avatar
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    Unless they have more pocketed for the contest...

    Wowie, though. All of them are fun and very authentically worded. You are becoming one of my favorite recent sheet writers, eheh. I think Kiyo and Usui are my favorites. Kiyo's spirit suits her well, though I'd probably rank up the NP? Only since she becomes a bigger dragon and Samedhi was already EX, no?

    Very creative crop though. Now I wonder if Kintoki was the only guy in the group... unless Suetake is a trap or Paracelsus-tier pretty boy. Any outcome is amusing lol.


    "She walks as if on heaven’s brink,
    Unscathed through life’s entangled maze."


    A collection of silly little Saint Graph fragments

    Caster of Blue Status Sheet

  3. #8023
    A Two-Named Thief Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunny View Post

    Very creative crop though. Now I wonder if Kintoki was the only guy in the group...
    Usui was depicted as both male and female depending on the legend, Sutake and Kintoki are consistently boys though.

    - - - Updated - - -

    But blimey that is a lot and not the ones you have for the contest? I've got some anticipation here.
    Quest of Fate (Update: 10/10/2018)

    Hall of Hermes Praise

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    It's official. Hermes is the old man hipster of CaS.
    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    ...Are you the protagonist of a YA novel? Perhaps an otome game?




  4. #8024
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    The concept around the Kyoto Servants + phantoms are really good.
    The skills and parameters are also done super well.
    There are some Noble Phantasms that seem rather plain like "weapon has x power to shoot y." i would have liked to see you go deeper with those.
    my fav is probably either archer or caster.
    Archer mixed with the tanuki works super well conceptually as well as practically. The sheet flows very well and makes a lot of sense.
    The Caster sheet is very in character with him and also works super well.
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  5. #8025
    リビングデッド Living Dead Aridwolverine's Avatar
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    Faceclaim

    -Berserker-
    Ophiogenes

    Alignment: Neutral Evil
    Alias: Serpent-Born, Ancestor of the Ophiogenees Tribe
    Origin: Greek

    Parameters

    Strength: (A+)
    Endurance: (A+)
    Agility: (B+)
    Mana: (A)
    Luck: (D)
    NP: (D)

    Gender: Male
    Likes: Affection, Treasure, Snakes, Adventure
    Dislikes: Poison
    Talents: Hoarding his “Treasure”
    Natural Enemy: Aphrodite
    Attribute: Earth

    Skills
    Class Skills

    Mad Enhancement: (C)
    The class skill that characterizes a Berserker, raising basic parameters and strengthens one's physical abilities in exchange of hindering mental capacities and/or in exchange for their sense of reason. In some cases, it also affects and/or seals away some techniques, personal skills and Noble Phantasms.

    Rank-Up for all parameters except for Mana and Luck, but most of one’s reason is robbed. Mental capacity is degraded to that of a child, expressing a mischievous yet childlike innocence. It is hard to say that he is under the effects of Mad Enhancement or this is merely an aspect of his true personality brought to light due to his lack of mental restraint.

    Personal Skills

    Hybrid: (EX)
    Denotes one’s condition of being a mixture of two different species. As the child of Halia, a nymph who is the daughter of Thalassa, primeval spirit of the sea, and Ophiogeneikos, the Dragon of the Serpent-Born; Berserker possesses the blood of both a dragon and a nymph, resulting in a half-dragon half-nymph hybrid.

    Monstrous Strength: (A)
    An inherent ability of monsters and demonic beasts; temporarily increasing one’s Strength for a given duration. Invoking this skill allows Berserker’s Strength to grow beyond that of what is possible for a human body to achieve. The longer he is under the influence, the more his nymph side succumbs to his dragon side. Slowly turning his instincts into that of a true dragon.

    Divinity: (D)
    Measurement of one’s Divine Spirit aptitude. At high levels, one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit, and the level declines when the Heroic Spirit's own rank as a Monster or Demonic Beast raises. Those who have A Rank Divinity or above has reached the Throne of Gods. It also has an effect which reduces special defensive values called 'purge defense' in proportion to the Divinity's Rank. It can break through Skills such as Protection of the Faith and Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig.

    Divine Spirit aptitude that comes from origins as a descendent of the Primordial Goddess of the Sea and the son of a nymph. Because his father was a monstrous Dragon, the rank is severely decreased. Though as he is only half-dragon, the skill reduction is halved as well.

    Affections of the Goddess: (B)
    A skill that denotes one being loved by a goddess. Affection is from his mother, Halia and Artemis. The affection of Artemis comes from the responsibility in which she entrusted the “Serpent-Born’s” to guard her sacred grove. Other than Mana or Luck, all stats are Ranked-Up.

    Rosy-cheeked Adonis: (A)
    Is the disposition as a pretty boy who charms people. A fascination magic-like effect that works on both men and women, but one can abate it so long there is a will to resist. Complete evasion by means of a Magic Resistance skill is possible.

    His mother, Halia, was a nymph renowned for her beauty and charm. Such so that she gained the “affection” of the dragon Ophiogeneikos at first sight. Even Poseidon, god of the sea, fell in love with her, bearing her six children. So Berserker, being her son, inherits his mother’s good looks that can charm gods and beasts alike.



    Noble Phantasm

    Poison Breaker
    All Ailments Must Be Cured
    Type: Support
    Rank: D
    Range: 1
    Maximum Target: 1

    It is a healing type Noble Phantasm possessed by the Ophiogenees (Serpent-Born) tribe. They are said to be capable of healing any poisonous snake bite with a simple touch of the hand. Since Berserker is the ancestor of the tribe, he possesses the greatest form of this power, the ability to cure all sorts ailments. Regardless of how deadly or potent the ailment is, Berserker can instantly cure it through physical contact. However, since he’s very affectionate, he might have trouble letting go…


    Character
    Personality
    The bastard child of a nymph who was raped by a dragon. True to his draconic heritage, he is very possessive over his “treasure”. This is only amplified by the lustful nature of his nymph heritage in addition to the Mad Enhancement skill. Lovey-dovey and affection, Ophiogenes would be obsessed over his master, just like a spoiled child over a parent, treating them like his own personal “treasure”; wanting to keep them to himself. He is loyal to a fault, going berserk towards anyone that he believes to be “bullying” his master.

    Lore
    In north-eastern Mysia, there was a giant serpent which guarded a sacred grove of the goddess Artemis. A nymph, Halia, visited the sacred grove and there encountered guardian. Ophiogeneikos, Dragon of the Serpent-Born, was so captivated by her natural beauty the maiden, giving birth to Ophiogenes “the Serpent-Born”, ancestor of the Ophiogenees tribe.

    After that, not much is known about what happened to Ophiogenes. According to the myth, it is believed that the ancestor eventually left the island to become a hero.

  6. #8026
    I'm 90% Gacha Salt And 10% Tears Saron's Avatar
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    Ophiogenes:An interesting and actually kinda funny character, an obsessive dragon boy who can cure anything just by giving them a tap hug. He kinda gives me the same vibe as Alexander and Ko-Gil, a small adorable shota to protect and cherish and then sic on your enemies to wreck havoc.
    My thirst for Antonio grows by the second.

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  7. #8027
    The Greatest Cool Reign's Avatar
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    I'm probably too new to the setting to handle it well, but lately I've been trying to think up a Rider Santa Claus.

  8. #8028
    I'm 90% Gacha Salt And 10% Tears Saron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reign View Post
    I'm probably too new to the setting to handle it well, but lately I've been trying to think up a Rider Santa Claus.
    Well if you got the idea go for it! You either create a cool sheet, or you create a mediocre sheet and you know what to do next time.
    My thirst for Antonio grows by the second.

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    I Make Servants, Some Of Which Are Tragedies, Especially This One

  9. #8029
    Across This New Borderline RoydGolden's Avatar
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    It's funny seeing that Ophiogenes sheet since his FC was one of the ones I considered for my Fafnir Servant. He's an interesting take on the 'greedy dragon' archetype, and I'm curious how he'd get along with my Fafnir.

  10. #8030
    I'm 90% Gacha Salt And 10% Tears Saron's Avatar
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    Sources:(X)
    True Name; Ötzi
    Class: Archer, "Hunter"
    Armanent: Bow, dagger, axe
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Source: Prehistory, Italy
    Attribute: Earth
    Traits: Primal Human

    Stats:
    Strength: D
    Agility: B
    Endurance: B
    Mana: A
    Luck: D
    Noble Phantasm: A

    Likes: Gaia, Nature
    Dislikes: Humanity, Modern civilization
    Talents: Surviving cruel conditions, Mountain climbing
    Natural Enemy: Alaya
    Wish: To eradicate humanity to save Gaia

    Skills
    Class Skills:
    Independent Action: A+
    Can remain in the world for a year without a Master, however, that is only the case if he minimizes combat and Noble Phantasm usage.

    Magic Resistance: A++
    Cancels spells A and lower, and half's the effects of spells or magic oriented Noble Phantasms, provided they don't contain heat. This skill makes Archer not only impervious to modern day magecraft, but most post Age of Gods' magi as well. Calling him a 'Magus Killer' is an understatement.

    Archer lived in a time before the Age of Gods, when the Primeval Gods ruled. Every human possessed magical capacity that far exceeds the greatest magicians of the Age of the Gods, Gaia itself favors him as he was born when Alaya was still a part of Gaia, granting him it’s protection from things it rejects.

    Personal Skills:
    Mana Burst (Ice): A
    Can shroud himself in a windstorm of ice swirling around him, bolstering his attack and defense greatly at the cost of a rank of Agility.

    Skills of Primal (Copper Age): B+
    A skill denoting the Servant was skilled at surviving in an age without kingdoms or nobility. The Servant can make crude tools and weapons from their environment. The tools they create won’t look useful, but there far stronger and more resilient than tools forged in the modern era.

    Affections of the Planet: EX
    A Skill for one who is deeply loved by the planet's consciousness. Grants the Servant less resistance to their existence, and in turn, less mana to continue their false life as a Servant. Doesn't affect the amount of Mana used for Noble Phantasms.

    Archer is the only Heroic Spirit who existed back when Alaya was just a part of Gaia's consciousness. He costs only tenth of the regular upkeep for a Servant to be materialized.


    Noble Phantasm
    Hauslabjoch
    The Cold Grasp of Eternal Winter

    A
    Anti-Unit (Self)
    Range: 1
    Max Targets: 1

    The crystallization of the 5,000 years his body spent frozen, his body is made of ice. It is impossible to melt unless subjected to heat only possible with B rank or above Noble Phantasms that have to do with energy or heat, and just being in his presence is enough to chill the air and cause one to be able to see their own breath.

    If he focuses his mana whilst calling it's true name, the ice grows colder, almost reaching Absolute Zero. The water vapor around him freezes and becomes armor, and touching him can cause your entire arm to experience frostbite and causes steel to break apart into chunks.

    As result of this Noble Phantasm, his greatest weakness is extreme heat. If his opponent has a Noble Phantasm that releases large amounts of heat, he will melt.


    Lore
    In a time forgotten by humanity, before the World Wars, before King Arthur, before Gilgamesh,
    humans were lawless tattered groups of humans spread across the globe, dying from their animals and killing them to survive. One of them was a man in what would eventually become the border between Italy and Austria. In these lawless times, he was but another victim of humans fighting humans.

    Thousands of years later, his body was discovered, and is considered one of the most valuable insights to the "common man" in these days, as all the previous finds had been burial grounds surrounded in relics, nothing that showed true insight into their day to day lives, what they carried with them every day, what they ate, and if they ever did anything to modify their flesh. His body answered all of those questions, showing us how our ancestors lived all those years ago.

    Normally, due to only being recovered about twenty five years ago, he couldn't be summoned at all. But, Archer was an exception as unlike so many other humans, this was one that humans spread around throughout the historical community, and this human was one Gaia loved.

    Due to Humanity being so small during his life, they had still been a part of Gaia's consciousness before Alaya had even split from it's "mother". Gaia, knowing that he was uncorrupted by it's sworn enemy, ascended him to the Throne of Heroes as her champion, thus letting her accomplish her wish to finally remove the parasites on her body.


    Personality
    Archer has a cold and uncaring personality. He sees modern humans as disgusting vermin who have ruined Gaia's beauty,
    and wants to eradicate them, claiming that whatever species that takes over will be many times more beautiful and smarter than humans. He makes no claims of him being the first hero or antihero, as he sees that title as only someone stupidly arrogant would want.

    Due to his personality, he will kill his Master upon summoning unless they can convince him their wish likes up with his. His high Independent Action and his third skill make it very easy to fight a normal Grail War, as he has no qualms to killing humans to devour their souls.

    He would get along extremely well with Kirei Kotomine, as if either one has their wish come to fruition,
    the other receives theirs.


    Probably impossible to summon in any Grail War at all, but it was a fun sheet to make nonetheless.
    Last edited by Saron; October 6th, 2017 at 11:54 PM.
    My thirst for Antonio grows by the second.

    Tomoe is Too Moe (Big Image)

    I Make Servants, Some Of Which Are Tragedies, Especially This One

  11. #8031
    Across This New Borderline RoydGolden's Avatar
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    I don't think spells actually have + modifiers, so you might want to revise that Magic Resistance description. Cool sheet otherwise, though.

  12. #8032
    Muridnya Sableng, Gurunya Gendeng 34's Avatar
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    @Aridwolverine
    That's a nice Ophiogenes sheet, how do you think he'll get along with my Asclepius?
    Quote Originally Posted by Rafflesiac View Post
    I hoped they wouldn't feature because not once have I liked Fate's take on ANCIENT ALIENS. It's stupid for beings from humanity's myth and history to be the result of ANCIENT ALIENS all along, even insulting to an extent. Velbers are bad, Alien Trees are bad, Foreigners are bad, stick with humans relating to humans please Nasu.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSeaDragon View Post
    Nasu was always a pen name. It was Georgio Tsoukalos all along

  13. #8033
    リビングデッド Living Dead Aridwolverine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    It's funny seeing that Ophiogenes sheet since his FC was one of the ones I considered for my Fafnir Servant. He's an interesting take on the 'greedy dragon' archetype, and I'm curious how he'd get along with my Fafnir.
    hmm...a tsundere dragon who secretly likes his friends interacting with a deredere half-dragon who blatantly shows affection for his friends. Seems like a match made in heaven.
    But really, I can imagine some comical scenarios where both of them are fighting over whose "treasure" who's. With them shouting "Back off this my treasure!" "No, its mine!", while their both tugging on their friend's arm.

    Quote Originally Posted by ThirtyFour34 View Post
    @Aridwolverine
    That's a nice Ophiogenes sheet, how do you think he'll get along with my Asclepius?
    I say they are both very compatible with each other. Asclepius has blessings from serpents and Ophiogenes is the son of a giant serpent. Asclepius is the god of medicine while Ophiogenes is capable of healing all sorts of poisons and ailments. So yeah, they would along really well.

  14. #8034
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Otzi: Fairly late to comment, but I actually really like this one, so I figure I should say something. Despite the inherent oddity of the Iceman as a Servant, this has been a sheet I’d been interested in seeing for a while. I think your take on it was pretty great. Both personality and Noble Phantasm are more interesting than whatever I’d come up with when I first thought about the idea. Good shit, probably one of your better ones so far.

  15. #8035
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Oh hey, I think the OP has now been updated. Thanks Seika.

  16. #8036

    Class:Assassin

    True Name:Tomas de Torquemada
    Origin:Spain
    Alignment:Lawful Evil
    Parameters
    Strength: D
    Endurance: C
    Agility: B
    Mana: C
    Luck: B
    Noble Phantasm: B

    Class Skills
    Presence Concealment C:Hides one's presence as a Servant. Suitable for spying. The rank of Presence Concealment drops considerably when preparing to attack. Indeed, very few people know when to expect Torquemada.

    Personal Skills
    Torture Techniques A:represents one's possession of outstanding torture techniques. Plus modifiers are added when using torture tools to deal damage. Torquemada became known and feared for his liberal use of torture in extracting confessions of heresy

    Zealotry B: a Skill where normally unattainable mental strength can be obtained by having so much religious faith in something that it is beyond the understanding of those around the user.

    Planning B:tactical thinking meant for assassinating a target. Unlike Military Tactics, this is constricted to only assassination missions in which few people are involved. Rather than a lone assassin, Torquemada was a leader who directed the actions of inquisitors throughout spain.

    Noble Phantasm (Anti-Unit, Rank B):Confession of Sins to the Flame - Witch Trial
    Takes the form of a crossbow, loaded with barbed bolts. Upon successfully piercing an enemy, Torquemada can truly activate this NP by asking them one question (what is your true name, what is your master's whereabouts, etc.) Should the target refuse to answer or lie, the embedded bolts will become burning hot. Unless Torquemada's question is answered, Torquemada is killed, or the bolts can be removed quickly the heat will intensify until the bolts combust and the target is immolated. This phantasm is only effective provided the target can both hear Torquemada and is capable of answering, so animals, the deaf, and most berserkers are immune.

    Likes-Isabella, Catholicism
    Dislikes-H E R E S Y
    Personality-In a few words, extremely unpleasant. An austere and cheerless man whose heart has long been hardened by his own brutality. As a matter of course he despises magi, but covets the power of the holy grail as a means to fully cleanse the earth of the church's enemies. Will cooperate with a master initially but is a dangerous and untrustworthy servant, particularly if he feels his master fails to demonstrate suitable piety.
    Last edited by Blarfingar; October 7th, 2017 at 11:49 PM.

  17. #8037
    Muridnya Sableng, Gurunya Gendeng 34's Avatar
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    Spoiler:
    sorry...
    Quote Originally Posted by Rafflesiac View Post
    I hoped they wouldn't feature because not once have I liked Fate's take on ANCIENT ALIENS. It's stupid for beings from humanity's myth and history to be the result of ANCIENT ALIENS all along, even insulting to an extent. Velbers are bad, Alien Trees are bad, Foreigners are bad, stick with humans relating to humans please Nasu.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSeaDragon View Post
    Nasu was always a pen name. It was Georgio Tsoukalos all along

  18. #8038
    Across This New Borderline RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 87 View Post
    Oh hey, I think the OP has now been updated. Thanks Seika.
    Didn't even notice this until you mentioned it. Thanks Seika!

    ...Hate to be the one nitpicking, but there are a few issues with how certain sheets are filed. For one thing, my Lityerses sheet is listed under the Judeo-Christian category when he actually belongs to Classical Mythology. jojo_reference's Herodotus sheet is listed twice in Classical Mythology and I find it a little inconsistent how Odin is listed in a different section (Scandinavian) then the rest of the Norse god Servants (who are under Germanic).

    These are obviously minor issues, and there's no need to rush to correct them or anything. Really, I'm just glad the OP was updated at all. I was starting to lose hope for a while there...

    - - - Updated - - -

    Torquemada: I recall reading an Isabella sheet here a while back so it's nice to another Spanish Inquisition based Servant. Protection Of The Faith and Torture Techniques definitely fit, but Planning feels a little off to me. If you want a Skill for him being a leader of the Inquisition I'd just give him Charisma at a low rank, rather then a Skill that seems specifically tied to assassinations.

    Out of curiosity, did you read the feedback I gave for your Arpad Servant?

  19. #8039
    I did, so thanks for that. I did intend for the area of effect of honalapito to be larger than the shield itself, but also wasn't sure what would sounded right, so I avoided giving an exact figure, and well, I guess it ended up being confusing in that way.

  20. #8040
    UMU overload Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    Alright, I cannot let Royd's feedback pass this time.

    * I'm hard pressed to believe Tomas de Torquemada gets B-rank Agility, but I care not about Parameters in general, so whatever.

    * My opinion is that the rank of Torquemada's Torture Techniques is too high. He neither tortured all the victims of the Inquisition personally, nor were his techniques by any means unique, special, or original (the Church's inquisitory techniques had already been formalized in the 13th century), so I don't think he gets to be nearly as high as Countess Báthory. I would go with D+ myself, using the plus-correction to indicate that he and his allies can use the Skill in masse (the Inquisition was group effort, after all).

    * Protection of the Faith doesn't work. It says it right there in the description. Torquemada was not a martyr, nor was he ever in danger because of his faith, nor was his faith ever challenged or put to the test. This really should be replaced with a more suitable mental resistance skill.

    * Planning doesn't work, either, but I like what you were aiming for with it. I would suggest a variant of Planning that works only towards capturing targets, not outright killing them. It should probably be connected to teamwork as well. Thinking about it, Torquemada's moveset in F/GO would probably look a lot like Wu Zetian's.

    * The NP is fine. Not very evocative, but that's hard to pull off. I would know. Writing is hard.

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