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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #9501
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Criarino View Post
    What do you think?
    That you've posted this is in the wrong thread.

  2. #9502
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    Gally is so grumpy

    - - - Updated - - -

    I think they are very cool, even if they are a little OCish, i just like connected sheets for some reason. the different Awakened origins for each one are really nice, And alter's NP seems the more interesting of the three.


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

  3. #9503
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    What do you think about my last profil ?
    Have i improved myself /has it become better as the last?

  4. #9504
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Full-power Ea level NP. Dafuq

  5. #9505
    A Two-Named Thief Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the god of world-0 View Post
    Gally is so grumpy
    I would have to agree with Gally here actually, should be in the other thread.
    Quest of Fate (Update: 10/10/2018)

    Hall of Hermes Praise

    Quote Originally Posted by Saron View Post
    It's official. Hermes is the old man hipster of CaS.
    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    ...Are you the protagonist of a YA novel? Perhaps an otome game?




  6. #9506
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Full-power Ea level NP. Dafuq
    ist not at the begining as strong as full Ea ,and every Seal must be seperate broken and so all Pharaohnic Servants i made are high-class Top-Tier..
    And i tend to overpowered Charackters .How do you find the Profil beside that ?

  7. #9507
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    From what I could understand (your grammar is still painful, sorry) and what I've read about Sethos, you've made up practically all of his background, and that NP is excessively OP. I mean, the restraints don't really have any purpose since he could just hold back and fire a weaker blast like practically every beam Saber does. There aren't any conditions that prevent him from breaking all the seals consecutively and become a god-tier because of yes, and that power scale is insanely high for a Pharaoh that isn't relatively famous.

    Summarizing, it's not an enjoyable profile, at least for me

  8. #9508
    Muridnya Sableng, Gurunya Gendeng 34's Avatar
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    Too many skillz, for one. It's still really hard to read because of the bad formatting and you should really improve it.

    Still not good and pretty much reminds me of venomking's sheets.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rafflesiac View Post
    I hoped they wouldn't feature because not once have I liked Fate's take on ANCIENT ALIENS. It's stupid for beings from humanity's myth and history to be the result of ANCIENT ALIENS all along, even insulting to an extent. Velbers are bad, Alien Trees are bad, Foreigners are bad, stick with humans relating to humans please Nasu.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSeaDragon View Post
    Nasu was always a pen name. It was Georgio Tsoukalos all along

  9. #9509
    https://goo.gl/88mdof Criarino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gally View Post
    That you've posted this is in the wrong thread.
    Yeah, yeah, they already told me this, but as the other two parts before was posted here, I though that would be better to post that last part here too.
    My servants and mages
    Sorry, my english sucks
    Things

    Greatest battle in history
    He-man x Shiki Satsujinki

    I love the internet

    OH GOD SO CUTE

  10. #9510
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    Would the people who are having trouble with formatting on here like it if I uploaded a blank sheet/the sheet format I use (or, well, the one I'm planning on using from now on)?
    My honest opinion regarding GO
    Its not very good. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that its bad. It offers very little to the Fate franchise in terms of quality - in fact, I'd argue that its content actually diminishes the quality of the franchise as a whole. A lot of its problems can be put down to the 'mobile game' format it uses, but that was a conscious decision on the part of its creators so it can't be used to shuffle off blame. And GO's problems that don't stem from it being a mobile game... I'm being polite by calling it a piece of trash. But... Nasu clearly had a blast writing/making it that I can't quite bring myself to hate it. Loathe it, sure, but not hate. That's too strong of an emotion. Only just, though.

    My Servants

    The starting penalty is five.

  11. #9511
    A Two-Named Thief Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    There’s a blank sheet format in the OP of the contest thread
    Quest of Fate (Update: 10/10/2018)

    Hall of Hermes Praise

    Quote Originally Posted by Saron View Post
    It's official. Hermes is the old man hipster of CaS.
    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    ...Are you the protagonist of a YA novel? Perhaps an otome game?




  12. #9512
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Servant Class: Caster
    Alternate Classes: Rider
    True Name: Zenobia, Queen of the Palmyran Empire
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Origin: Middle-East (3rd century)

    Parameters:
    STR: D
    END: E
    AGI: C
    MGI: C
    LCK: C
    NP: D

    Skills
    Class Skills

    Territory Creation - Rank D++: Instead of a conventional workshop, an ‘Enlightened Court’ can instead be created. Zenobia was not inclined to magecraft herself, but fostered scholars and philosophers in her court.
    The court she creates has no benefit for Zenobia herself, but those she has acknowledged as her allies can utilize the court for their own benefit as they would a conventional workshop. In addition, the more talented individuals gather in Zenobia’s court, the stronger the beneficial effects become.

    Item Construction - Rank D: Based solely on her restoration of monuments, Zenobia’s Item Construction primarily grants her the ability to repair and enhance low-grade magical items.
    By conjecture, she may be able to create low-grade magical items by herself.

    Personal Skills

    Imperial Privilege - Rank C: Due to the insistence of the owner, Skills that are essentially impossible to possess can be obtained at Rank C or below for a short period of time.
    Zenobia attains this Skill by virtue of being acknowledged as an empress and an equal by one of Rome’s emperors. However, as she was an usurper and her empire short-lived, the rank of this Skill is low.
    The relevant Skills are ‘Charisma’, ‘Military Tactics’, ‘Magecraft’ and others.

    Innocent Monster - Rank D+: Due to the influence of Roman propaganda, as well as later accounts, Zenobia appears as far more masculine than she was in life.
    Besides the effect on her appearance, this Skill also influences her behavior as well as increasing her physical abilities slightly.


    Noble Phantasms
    Canticum ex Colossi: The Two Singing Colossi
    Anti-Army, Rank D+
    In the Palmyran Empire there existed the Colossi of Memnon, one of which reputedly sang. Zenobia was not responsible for their construction, but rather their restoration, the act of which silenced the statues’ song.
    As the singing stopped by the Empress’s order, so shall it resume again. Upon activation, a pair of animated, golem-like statues appear. The Colossi will then resume their song, blasting Zenobia’s enemies with a torrent of sound. Any allies of Zenobia’s will be unharmed by the attack, and instead they (as well as Zenobia herself) will have their Luck parameter ranked up for a short duration.


    Description
    Likes: Scholarship, prudence
    Dislikes: Tyrants, irresponsibility
    Talents: Wrestling, philosophy
    Natural Enemy: Aurelian


    Known by the Roman Empire as a usurper to their empire, but celebrated by her people as a heroic figure rebelling against Rome’s tyranny.
    Not having been a magus in life, Zenobia attains qualifications for the Caster class thanks to her efforts of fostering philosophy and the arts as well as the restoration of several monuments inside her Empire. However, through the use of Imperial Privilege, she has access to minor magecraft. Oddly for a Caster, she has some talent in melee combat, although her low parameters limit the usefulness of this talent.


    A responsible ruler by nature, Zenobia is kind and accepting, with a great love for art and culture. She treats the Holy Grail War as she would a war from her era, expecting certain formalities before the onset of battle. As for her Master, she sees them as a benefactor/subject, necessary for her continued existence but ultimately subservient to her.
    Thanks to the effects of ‘Innocent Monster’, Zenobia sometimes displays stereotypically masculine traits, such as aggression and a strong desire for independence, as well as a masculine way of speaking.
    Zenobia idolizes Ptolemaic Egypt, as well as Cleopatra in particular. She styles herself after her idol to a significant degree.


    As a Rider, her mount would be a camel, reputed to be faster than any horse.



    Lore
    A third-century queen of the Syria-based Palmyrene Empire. Her husband became king in 260, elevating Palmyra to supreme power in the Near East by defeating the Sassanians and stabilizing the Roman East. After Odaenathus' assassination, Zenobia became the regent of her son.
    Eventually, Zenobia annexed Egypt, coming to hold sway over most of the Roman East. While nominally subservient to the Roman Empire at the time, she eventually declared her empire an independent equal of Rome. This did not stand with the current emperor, Aurelian, and the Palmyrene Empire was conquered by his armies.
    Zenobia herself was captured, perishing en route to Rome, supposedly by her own hand, as her idol Cleopatra had done centuries prior.



    Notes
    As my first attempt at a created Servant, I hope this passes muster. Her background section feels a bit lacking…
    I also wonder if giving her Item Construction was a bit of a stretch or not.
    As for her Noble Phantasm, I had considered a Noble Phantasm based on her rebellion against a great empire, but couldn’t think of anything cool for the effect of something like that. I figured that since she qualifies as a Caster in part due to her restoration of monuments, the Colossi of Memnon might be a good basis for a Caster’s Noble Phantasm.
    Last edited by Shiki-pon; March 3rd, 2018 at 10:46 AM.

  13. #9513
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34 View Post
    Too many skillz, for one. It's still really hard to read because of the bad formatting and you should really improve it.

    Still not good and pretty much reminds me of venomking's sheets.
    What formating im just writing it normal here and dont paste it from a other Programm,can you eventually explain me what you mean with it and is a difference in the better direction noticeable?

  14. #9514
    A Two-Named Thief Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Alright dude, I'll show you a simple one.

    Character Image/Faceclaim: (Optional)
    Source:

    Class:
    Other Classes:
    (If Applicable)
    True Name:
    Alignment:
    Place of Origin:

    Parameters:

    STR:
    END:
    AGI:
    MGI:
    LCK:
    NP:

    Height:
    Weight:
    Likes:
    Dislikes:
    Talent:
    Natural Enemy:
    Attribute:
    Traits:
    Armament:
    Catalyst:

    Class Skills:

    Personal Skills:

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Noble Phantasm Name
    Noble Phantasm Title



    Type:
    Rank:
    Range:
    Max Targets:

    Lore:

    Personality:

    Relationships:

    Creator Notes: (Optional)




    It would be a good idea to type it up in word or a google doc or whatever before posting rather than doing it all in one go because that never ends well.
    Quest of Fate (Update: 10/10/2018)

    Hall of Hermes Praise

    Quote Originally Posted by Saron View Post
    It's official. Hermes is the old man hipster of CaS.
    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    ...Are you the protagonist of a YA novel? Perhaps an otome game?




  15. #9515
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    Alright dude, I'll show you a simple one.

    It would be a good idea to type it up in word or a google doc or whatever before posting rather than doing it all in one go because that never ends well.
    I agree, i had to learn that the hard way.


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

  16. #9516
    吸血鬼 Vampire Alexcoene's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Criarino View Post
    Yeah, yeah, they already told me this, but as the other two parts before was posted here, I though that would be better to post that last part here too.
    So, you're ignoring the rules for a stupid reason. Because, honestly, "I've already broken it, so why bother following it now?" just makes you sound like a jerk.
    Last edited by Alexcoene; March 3rd, 2018 at 11:01 AM.

  17. #9517
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    He is not breaking the rules, the character inspired inspired by Shu, but is a original concept . The "gentle king" is also a real world concept, just look into the "forrest king" on Nier: Automata.


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

  18. #9518
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Uhh... Wouldn't that still belong in the thread for Servants from modern fiction instead of here? I mean, if he's based off of (or inspired by) an anime character, doesn't have an actual legend attached to him and has no connection to the Nasuverse in any way (other than being a Servant), then what is he doing in this thread?

  19. #9519
    A Two-Named Thief Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the god of world-0 View Post
    He is not breaking the rules, the character inspired inspired by Shu, but is a original concept . The "gentle king" is also a real world concept, just look into the "forrest king" on Nier: Automata.
    It’s still based on another IP and as such belongs in the modern fiction thread.
    Quest of Fate (Update: 10/10/2018)

    Hall of Hermes Praise

    Quote Originally Posted by Saron View Post
    It's official. Hermes is the old man hipster of CaS.
    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    ...Are you the protagonist of a YA novel? Perhaps an otome game?




  20. #9520
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    Saber of the hill

    "Nice to meet you, master. If you are worthy, then let be the sword that pierces your enemies"



    Class: Saber
    Alignment: Lawful/good
    Region: Wales
    Height: 160cm
    Weight: 48kg
    Likes: honorable man, hard work, flowers
    Dislikes: treacherous man, stuborn cowards, suffering of others
    Talent: raids, gardening
    Armaments: Rapier
    Natural Enemy: normands

    stats

    Str: C
    End: B
    Agi: B
    Mna: C
    Lck: D
    NP: B

    Skills


    class skills
    Magic resistence(C): Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against Magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.

    Riding(B): Vehicles and horses can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasm Races such as Monstrous Beasts.

    personal skills
    Battle continuation(B): Ability to keep fighting even while suffering deadly injuries, so long as one does not suffer a decisively fatal wound. It said that Saber continued fighting until her head was cut off.

    Charisma(B): the natural talent to command an army. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. Centuries after her death, welsh warriors would still scream Saber's name as a warcry.

    Lighting raid(A): the abillity to quickly attack enemy base, cause chaos and damage, pillage their wealth and suplies, and then safely return to her own base. Saber was famous for her excelent usage of this specific type of strategy.

    Military tactics(C): Possess the Military skills and tactics to effectively direct a single army, and conquer/maintain order over a single country. Saber was to have been crucial in managing the army of her country.



    Noble phantasm


    Warcry across the centuries, Revenge for Gwenllian
    Dial gyfer Gwenllian

    rank: arti-army, C
    An Noble phantasm embodying the inspiration that Saber gave to hundreds of warriors long after her death.
    It allows her to use drops of her blood to summon ghostly soldiers to fight beside her, however the blood can only come from wounds made by another person, making so that Saber cannot activate this Noble phantasm by herself. The soldiers themselfs can fight low-level servants, they have the skills Battle continuation(C), Magic resistence(D) and Guardian knight(B). They can act indepentently but need to continually recive Mana or they will disaper, the quantity necessary to sustain them is small, but it can prove hard to hold during long battles.

    Spring across the ages, hill of gwenllian
    Maes Gwenllian

    rank: anti-unit, B
    Saber's last stand, the Noble phantasm that represents the turning of her defeat into the victory of Wales.
    Truly a beatiful technic, when Saber call it's name, the battlefield is transform into a hill full of flowers in blossom, Saber herself is surrounded by a warm pinkish light while she dashes for the Enemy, piercing any defense.
    The effect of this noble phantasm is the "tranformation of damage into attack power", the technic can bypass most protections and using it completly heals Saber while reseting her other Noble phantasm, bassically restoring her to how she was at the begining of the fight.
    It is worth mention that while this attack is stronger the more hurt Saber is, she can still die before using it, esspecially by instant death attacks. This is also a one-hit-wonder, and will become seal after one usage for the remainer of the battle.



    background


    The identity of Saber is that of Gwenllian ferch Gruffydd the consort princess ofDeheubarthin Wales. She participated in several raid together with her husband and lead the a army in battle at kidwally castle by herself, were she would be betrayed by a coward general who insisted in follow a route she forbid and was captured by the normands.
    Her death however, inspired others, leading the way for her people to turn the tides of the war while her name became their battle cry. Saber's actions are often compared toBoudica. This is the only known example of a medieval period woman leading a Welsh army into battle.
    The field close to castle Kidwally where her last battle took place is named Maes Gwenllian (Field of Gwenllian).Aspringin the field is also named after her, supposedly welling up on the spot where she died.



    Personality


    Saber is a very friendly Person. Her attitude towards her master is that of a dedicated Soldier for as long as they prove to be a good person. She likes to put everything into what she does, and likes people who do the same. She really dislike cowards, as they are very untrustworthy, and refuses to hurt those unrelated to the war, as is unbeffiting of someone who one day hold her possition to cause suffering on those undeserving.
    While her personality in day-to-day life is very amicable, once she enters the battle field, she becomes a unstopable fighter and ruthless killer. It's a side of her that she does not like very much, but knows it is necessery, as there is hardly any space for mercy in a war.



    craft essence


    Castle Kidwally

    with then at our door, something strange happend.

    A feeling crawling up my stomach and sit into my chest

    it was fear, i notice in shame, for the first time in years i am afraid

    I let out a laughter, my sons looks at me with confusion in their faces.

    "It's okay" i speak with a conforting but strong voice

    "your father is away, so it's my duty as wife to have this place ready for his return. Even if for this..."

    ...i have to taint the flowers that i love so much"



    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

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