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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #9801
    吸血鬼 Vampire King of Padoru's Avatar
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    It's not a part of his legend, but something I added to make his character a bit less generic (it isn't real prediction either, just like a ritual). I really wanted him not to be boring, but there's barely nothing where you can pull awesome abilities from.
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  2. #9802
    吸血鬼 Vampire Express's Avatar
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    He's infamous for escaping capture multiple times under the very slimmest of pretexts. You don't have to base yours on it, but my own Avery sheet I thought of a while back gave the Fancy the ability to comically squeeze through cracks of any size.

    The fact you mention Libertalia too but make no mention of it in the actual sheet is just confusing.

  3. #9803
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    For improvement, check my Avery sheet. Hope it helps.
    The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
    Coffee would be nice, though.

    [Collection of my Servant Sheets]

  4. #9804
    吸血鬼 Vampire King of Padoru's Avatar
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    I didn't really know how to include Libertalia in the sheet without giving Avery a pirate version of Ionioi Hetairoi, to be honest. I'll make some changes to the sheet as soon as I can.
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  5. #9805
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Express View Post
    You don't have to base yours on it, but my own Avery sheet I thought of a while back gave the Fancy the ability to comically squeeze through cracks of any size.
    Out of curiosity, where was this? I don't remember ever seeing an Avery sheet here other then the one by SleepMode (and now Padoru), and even the forum's search function (Avery + your username) isn't finding me anything.

  6. #9806
    灼け落ちない翼 Sunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    Hua Mulan: I like this one. The way you've made it a conglomerate of all the unnamed warrior women fits the character nicely. It's what I tried with my Arsene Lupin but, you know, better. The NP originally read like it would be suited for the Rider class but you've turned it into an interesting spin on the ally summon archetype.

    I'm also quite fond of the figure of Mulan, I made my own a couple of years back though I'm not sure how it holds up (and it's my favourite Disney movie too).
    Thank you, eheh. I have quite fond memories of her - the lead persona is a specific member of the archive, but it was meant to be a very precarious psychological position and a heavy burden to actually hold that persona without losing it - if she lost her footing completely, it'd just be the aggregated ideal rather than a specific incarnation unless another one seized the spotlight, and it may not have been immediately obvious but a mean thing to realize 'that one' was gone. ;.;

    And mm, I know ally summons are easy to make too derivative, but hers was basically projection magic with nakama/imaginary friends, so it was fun to play with. The more used portion was the aggregate combat skill, so she was basically a flashy but ultra technical fighter without an actual big finish besides combat skill dual-wielding a spear and sword.

    It's interesting since yours uses more or less the same skills, but approaching them differently. I'd say the NP is the part that doesn't hold up so well, being fairly simple and not explaining its connection to her. The personality you gave her is nice, though, as is the FC.


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  7. #9807
    I've checked both threads, surprised we don't have a Berserker Tohno Shiki that gains mad enhancement when Mystic Eyes are in use, but the mad enhancement is straight up Nanaya, so you get Shiki's eyes and Nanaya's skill.
    Whats the use of putting anything here if no one will read this?

  8. #9808
    吸血鬼 Vampire King of Padoru's Avatar
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    I've made some changes to Avery's sheet, although I'm not very satisfied with the final result because I feel I've copied SleepMode's Avery in some things
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  9. #9809
    リビングデッド Living Dead Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Avenger of the Punic War
    "The dead deserve justice, Master."

    Servant Class:
    Avenger
    Alternate Classes: Rider, Caster, Berserker
    Alignment: Lawful Evil
    Origin: Europe (2nd century BC)
    Armament: Soldiers

    Parameters:
    STR: D
    END: B
    AGI: C
    MANA: C
    LUCK: B
    NP: A

    Skills:
    Class Skills:

    Avenger - Rank A: Representing the state of an Avenger as one that gathers people's hatreds and grudges onto oneself. It is easier for one to accumulate hatred and resentment. The rate of mana generation becomes higher when receiving damage.
    As a side effect of taking the grudges of hundreds of others to bear, Avenger’s mind has become unstable.

    Memory Correction - Rank A: People are creatures that forget many things, but an Avenger never forgets. The critical effect of Avengers who attack from beyond one's memory is strengthened.
    Avenger can never forget the appalling slaughter he has witnessed in war.

    Self-Replenishment (Mana) - Rank E: One's magical energy endlessly surges until their revenge is accomplished. Recovers a minuscule amount of magical energy every turn.

    Personal Skills:

    Military Tactics - Rank C: Tactical knowledge used not for one-on-one combat situations, but for battles where many are mobilized. Bonus modifiers are provided during use of one's own Anti-Army Noble Phantasm or when dealing against an enemy Anti-Army Noble Phantasm.

    Eloquence - Rank A++: The skill of being artistic and persuasive with one’s words. Simply through speech, it is possible to convince anyone of almost anything.
    For Avenger, his speech approaches the level of Magecraft and manifests as a mental interference attack.
    In addition, when used in conjunction with his Noble Phantasm, Avenger can grant those under his Noble Phantasm’s effects abilities equivalent to certain Skills, such as 'Mental Pollution' and 'Mad Enhancement'.

    Vengeful Spirits - Rank A: As a manifestation of giving a voice to the grudges and hatred of those hundreds of thousands slain in war, Avenger can manifest ghostly soldiers to attack.
    The soldiers themselves aren’t particularly powerful, but are able to injure Servants through effort and strength of numbers. Though Avenger’s ability to manifest spirits is limited by the amount of mana he has access to, a total of 3,000 spirits seems to be his absolute limit.
    Cato and the spirits’ offensive power is significantly increased against the enemies of Rome.
    In addition, Vengeful Spirits grants Avenger the 'Mental Pollution Skill' when the spirits are manifested. Under Mental Pollution’s effect, Avenger starts seeing the people around him as Carthaginians. The delusion is only strengthened by the effects of the 'Avenger' and 'Memory Correction' Skills.


    Noble Phantasms:

    Carthago Delenda Est:
    Pestilent Grudge

    Anti-Army, Rank B+
    Range: 0~50
    Maximum number of targets: 100
    A grudge that, through Avenger’s insistence, has been passed to others. By making a pronouncement of destruction towards a target, Avenger can cause a festering hatred to develop in the minds of others in a large area.
    To utilize this Noble Phantasm, Avenger must know the rough identity (in essence, either the name or appearance) of the enemy and must then denounce his intended target. All others within range of Carthago Delenda Est then suffer a mental attack (thus subject to Magic Resistance). Should they prove unable to resist, they will be granted all of Avenger’s knowledge of the identity of the Noble Phantasm’s target as well as a vicious hatred of them.
    Avenger can use Carthago Delenda Est repeatedly to strengthen both the passed-on grudge as well as its bearers, eventually allowing even ordinary humans to have a chance of hurting a Servant.
    Someone already bearing a grudge spread by Carthago Delenda Est cannot have a different grudge passed onto them until the first designated target has been dealt with.
    Furthermore, the effect of Carthago Delenda Est is amplified when the grudge’s target is Greek or Carthaginian.


    Description
    Likes: Roman superiority, tradition
    Dislikes: Greece, physicians
    Talents: Persuasion, agriculture
    Natural Enemy: Carthage, Scipio Africanus

    Avenger’s true identity is Marcus Porcius Cato, also known as Cato the Elder.

    As most Avengers, Cato is consumed by vengeance. Most of his hatred, however, is not his own, but instead belongs to the soldiers and civilians of Rome that died during the Second Punic War. Cato took their hatred and the cause of destroying Carthage to bear on his shoulders when he moved from his military career to politics, and championed this cause with his oft-repeated, famous statement: “Carthage must be destroyed.”
    Outside of his grudges, Cato is personable and cultured, with a particularly in-depth knowledge of the fields of medicine, military science, agriculture and jurisprudence. He displays a particular fondness for Roman traditions but also respects others who follow tradition. Further, he enjoys debate with those he deems cultured enough to speak with.
    Cato displays an irrational fear of physicians, owing to the fact that most physicians during his time were Greeks, who in his mind represented Hellenic corruption of Roman traditions. He also dislikes luxury as well those who seek it, holding as his ideal strict discipline, hard work and a simple life. Taking after his ideal, Cato has a habit of speaking in rustic, simplistic ways that belie the extent of his learning.
    Cato is aware of his role as an Avenger, and sees it as his duty to complete his revenge against Carthage. He does not, however, care for being literally haunted by the spirits of those he seeks to avenge, and cares even less for the influence these spirits exert on him. However, as he has little personal strength in combat, he is forced to rely on the spirits’ power, doing his best to maintain mental discipline throughout the Holy Grail War.
    He is torn in regards to his wish to the Holy Grail. On the other hand, he is compelled as an Avenger to keep destroying Carthage until not even a memory of it remains. Then again, he wonders if the Grail could grant peace or even new life to those who suffered and died in the Punic Wars.

    Cato appears as a man in his late thirties, with short-cropped red hair and grey eyes. His appearance has been transformed into a more savage one as a result of his status as an Avenger, with what looks almost like a cold fire burning in his eyes. Unnatural shadows seem to form in the furrows and wrinkles of his face, granting him a somewhat intimidating appearance.
    He dresses in a simple, white toga, a symbol of his status as a consul and the only luxury he allows himself.
    As for the spirits that fight for him, they manifest as horribly wounded Roman legionaries, armed with shields, short swords and spears. The spirits’ colors are dulled and the figures themselves slightly transparent.


    Lore
    Cato the Elder was a Roman statesman, orator, and the first Latin prose writer of importance. He was noted for his conservative and anti-Hellenic policies, in opposition to the phil-Hellenic ideals of the Scipio family.
    At a formative age, Cato fought in the Second Punic War. The appalling casualties and damage inflicted upon Roman territory shaped Cato’s future. As the war did not end with Carthage’s annihilation, Cato took it upon himself to see justice be done for those that had fallen in the war, henceforth advocating Carthage’s destruction at every opportunity.
    Towards the end of his life, after successful careers in the military, politics and law, Cato eventually managed to convince Rome to undertake the Third Punic War. He did not live to see the destruction of Carthage, but managed to find peace in the knowledge that the dead would finally be avenged.


    Notes
    A creative interpretation of Cato the Elder.
    I decided not to incorporate one of the more famous (if possibly apocryphal) details about the whole “Carthage must be destroyed” thingy, meaning his proof of Carthage once again presenting a danger in the form an olive branch brought from there (mainly because I only remembered it once I started writing the Notes-portion of this and am frankly too lazy to rewrite the NP).

    I’m gonna do a non-Roman servant next, I swear!


    Last edited by Shiki-pon; March 17th, 2018 at 02:06 PM.

  10. #9810
    吸血鬼 Vampire King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Hm, I'd have never thought about making Cato an Avenger, perhaps a Berserker, but Avenger looks weird for me. The sheet is good anyways.
    The anecdot of "Carthago delenda est" is one of the favorites of my father, a lover of the history of Rome, so I couldn't help but think about how he'd look as a Servant.
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  11. #9811
    リビングデッド Living Dead Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Hm, I'd have never thought about making Cato an Avenger, perhaps a Berserker, but Avenger looks weird for me. The sheet is good anyways.
    The anecdot of "Carthago delenda est" is one of the favorites of my father, a lover of the history of Rome, so I couldn't help but think about how he'd look as a Servant.
    Frankly, making him an Avenger would never have occurred to me either, but the idea just came up when I was thinking on his motivations for wanting Carthage destroyed. I suppose it ended up working.

  12. #9812
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    @Cato,

    Hm.

    I don't say I agree with this, but, can't place my finger on it.

    For now it's all the + and ++ and +++ modifiers. I can never see those as justified most of the time.

  13. #9813
    リビングデッド Living Dead Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Historia View Post
    @Cato,

    Hm.

    I don't say I agree with this, but, can't place my finger on it.

    For now it's all the + and ++ and +++ modifiers. I can never see those as justified most of the time.

    I figured that the D+ in Str is mostly tied to situations involving Cato's natural enemies, increasing his (and the spirits') damage.
    As for Eloquence, I originally went with A+ with the '+' being the fact that Cato can basically use certain forms of Magecraft (which the Skill normally wouldn't grant). I added the second one on a whim after thinking about how it interacted with Carthago Delenda Est. I also know pluses don't quite work that way, but went with the whim there.
    Vengeful Spirits has a bit of its justification from Str and a bit from Eloquence.
    Carthago Delenda Est has at least something approaching an explanation in its description.

    Edit: Then again I suppose Vengeful Spirits might as well be A-ranked, given that it's a unique Skill.

  14. #9814
    吸血鬼 Vampire King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Just a suggestion, but you could make him have a skill like Boudica's Vow to the Goddess instead of giving him the + modifier in Strength
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  15. #9815
    リビングデッド Living Dead Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Just a suggestion, but you could make him have a skill like Boudica's Vow to the Goddess instead of giving him the + modifier in Strength
    Point.
    I've added that to Vengeful Spirits' effects and changed the Skill's rank to A. Makes more sense that way.

  16. #9816
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    Point.
    I've added that to Vengeful Spirits' effects and changed the Skill's rank to A. Makes more sense that way.
    One Question Shik-Pon how does look alike his capability set and Hougu in his other classes?

    At all: What points should have a good Avenger(profil)? I ask this because i have a insane Avenja in my quiver who would be a bigger threat for a Sehaizenzo/Grailwar as Vlad in Vampire Dracule mood !
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  17. #9817
    吸血鬼 Vampire King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    At all: What points should have a good Avenger(profil)? I ask this because i have a insane Avenja in my quiver who would be a bigger threat for a Sehaizenzo/Grailwar as Vlad in Vampire Dracule mood !
    First of all, calm down with the insane power scale. I don't know what Servant are you planning to do, but if it's going to be LoD Vlad level in base that's crazy to the point of absurdness.
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  18. #9818
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    First of all, calm down with the insane power scale. I don't know what Servant are you planning to do, but if it's going to be LoD Vlad level in base that's crazy to the point of absurdness.
    To be fair, there's probably some Servants who could justifiably merit that level of power. But yeah, in general toning down the wank would be a good idea.

  19. #9819
    吸血鬼 Vampire King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Well, of course some Servants could be at that level (otherwise, how would Beasts be defeated?), but, and I don't mean to sound offensive with this, seeing how the previous sheets were, I really needed to tell him to hold his horses.
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  20. #9820
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Well, of course some Servants could be at that level (otherwise, how would Beasts be defeated?), but, and I don't mean to sound offensive with this, seeing how the previous sheets were, I really needed to tell him to hold his horses.
    That's fair enough. Koga seems to like taking historical figures that are minor at best and making them into Herc-tier (or higher) powerhouses.

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