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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #9821
    リビングデッド Living Dead Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    One Question Shik-Pon how does look alike his capability set and Hougu in his other classes?

    At all: What points should have a good Avenger(profil)? I ask this because i have a insane Avenja in my quiver who would be a bigger threat for a Sehaizenzo/Grailwar as Vlad in Vampire Dracule mood !
    Could you repeat the question in english? I'd assume what you were trying to ask was about what his Skills, abilities and Noble Phantasms would be like in his other classes. In case that was your question...

    As a Berserker, he wouldn't possess any spirit stuff, his Eloquence would be ranked down significantly and he probably wouldn't have a particularly high-ranked Mad Enhancement either (the lucid-type EX rank is a bit overused in my opinion, so I wouldn't give Cato that).
    His NP would still have the same name, though its effect might be different.

    As a Rider, he would probably incarnate in his role as a praetor or consul, and many of his Skills would be switched to ones dealing more with governance (perhaps some sort of anti-Golden Rule reducing an enemy's resources - still, no spirit stuff here either). As for why he qualifies as a Rider in the first place, he might ride a Roman triumph (or just a commander's horse/chariot if we want to be mundane). Then again, the triumph is a bit far-fetched and he only received one, so... His NP in this form might have something to do with the Lex Oppia, manifesting as some kind of anti-luxury Noble Phantasm (maybe reducing the power of any weapon luxurious in design or something to that effect - the concept could be expanded upon)

    Lastly, as a Caster he would be in his old age, when he was just a powerful orator (as opposed to being in a military position or a politician), so his Eloquence might rank up. Some kind of benevolent version of the spirit stuff might make an appearance in his Skills, Military Tactics would probably be dropped. He might have Self-preservation or something equivalent to that since as I recall, he mounted several successful defences as an attorney (I don't remember if he ever defended anyone besides himself, though).
    NP-wise, I would probably try and work the whole olive branch thingy in there, but its type might change into Anti-Populace and its effect might become something more rational (and less malicious). Maybe a boost to allies when fighting whoever he's denouncing?

    As for my points to a good Avenger profile? Don't make it too overpowered (which is a good rule of thumb for all Servants), actually think about why the Heroic Spirit qualifies as an Avenger (Avengers need something to avenge after all) and do your best to differentiate them from a possible Berserker version (as Avenger and Berserker can both run off of a theme of hatred and/or anger).
    On that note, however, I wouldn't think Vlad is a particularly good candidate for Avenger, especially not in his vampire form. As established, he despise the vampire thing (given that he really wasn't one) and has to be insane to actually use it willingly (as seen by his Berserker incarnation). I guess he might hate the Turks, but none of his Nasuverse incarnations have really demonstrated any hangups about that whole thing.

    Since there were comments on about the overpoweredness (in relation to Koga), here's a rule of thumb I use: Compare the Servant you're making with already established canon Servants from the same mythos or cultural sphere. Try and place him somewhere on the scale (since there's usually someone regarded as the strongest - take Herc from Classical mythology as an example) and be reasonable with it.
    And as for the stats themselves, I follow this approximate formula:
    Strength: Obviously represents physical capability
    Endurance: How much punishment you can take (I might give people who survived diseases or lived a long life higher End as well)
    Agility: Speed (also something along the lines of "how likely this Servant is to move" - someone like Leonidas who's famous for holding his ground thus wouldn't have a high Agi)
    Mana: How much supernatural stuff happened in the Servant's legend, more or less
    Luck: How much misfortune the Servant suffered, and/or how much misfortune they overcame (I guess it might also have connotations with optimism and pessimism, too)
    NP: How well the Servant's legend is known
    Still, these are my guidelines for the stats, no particular reason to follow them.
    Last edited by Shiki-pon; March 17th, 2018 at 08:05 PM.

  2. #9822
    el bolb Bloble's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    One Question Shik-Pon how does look alike his capability set and Hougu in his other classes?

    At all: What points should have a good Avenger(profil)? I ask this because i have a insane Avenja in my quiver who would be a bigger threat for a Sehaizenzo/Grailwar as Vlad in Vampire Dracule mood !
    I made a Vlad Avenger a while back, though it's mostly a joke sheet. As has been said by others, he's not really a good fit for the class.

  3. #9823
    A Two-Named Thief Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bloble View Post
    I made a Vlad Avenger a while back, though it's mostly a joke sheet. As has been said by others, he's not really a good fit for the class.
    If I was gonna make a younger Vlad, the only differences I'd make would have him be a Rider and give him a different NP, probably something like the charge of vampire bats his army used which contributed to the legend of dracula's powers.

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    Might still do that at some point
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  4. #9824
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Shiki-pon you have guessed the right meaning of my Question !

    Bloble and others: I said Dracule Vlad only as Comparison and i made the two Pharaoh based on their importance and significance in their dynasty also inpoint of fame are also Karna and Arjuna quite unknown outside their homeland /culturspehre just like Setgos I and Sesostris I .
    Ps: Their wouldnt been my last pharaohnic Servantprofile and i will show you in the the next days my Saladin !
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  5. #9825
    吸血鬼 Vampire Hakuro's Avatar
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    Official Art of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

    Class: Lancer
    Alternative Classes: Caster, Assassin, Avenger
    True Name: Macelo
    Title: “The Last of the Telchines”, “Genius Demoness”
    Source: Greek Mythology
    Place of Origin: The Mediterranean
    Alignment: Neutral Evil
    Gender: Female
    Likes: the ocean, cloudy days, thunderstorms
    Dislikes: gods, humans, other life beings
    Height: 152 cm
    Weight: 44 kg

    Lore
    Macelo is a member of the ancient tribe of the Telchines, hybrids of fish and men whose magical abilities were incomparable. They were experts in the art of metalwork, working as the smiths of the gods before the birth of Hephaestus. Macelo principally was a favorite among the gods, being close to Zeus and Poseidon. Because of her position, she was even one of the chosen to craft a Divine Construct, the powerful trident of Poseidon. They started to grow and advance, although lacking empathy towards other life beings, like creating a sulfur-based substance capable of killing any animal or plant. However, it was only the start of their fall.

    The advancements of their technology and magecraft threated the gods. For them, it was not impossible that that tribe could evolve enough to defy their authority. It did not took long for Poseidon, alongside Zeus, to destroy completely their island and civilization, sparing only one, the witch Macelo. Although the gods saw the act of sparing Macelo as mercy and piety for her, Macelo only grew grudge towards the gods.

    Macelo most apt class would be Caster, and when summoned as a Lancer all of her skills have reduced ranks, and her parameters are low for a knight class. But it is only in this class that she can wield a Divine Construct capable of compensating her lack of skill in combat. And even being summoned in a knight class, when summoned in a Holy Grail War she would still act as a Caster, trying to avoid fights and prepare in advance her strategies.


    Parameters and Skill
    Parameters:
    Strength – D
    Endurance – E
    Agility – D+
    Mana – B
    Luck – E
    Noble Phantasm – A++

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance (A)
    A skill that grants protection against magical effects. At this rank, it cancels spells of A-rank or bellow. In practice, Lancer is untouchable by modern magi. Being of a race of divine origins and high aptitude to magecraft, it is natural for Lancer to resist magical effects and spells.

    Personal Skills:
    Divinity (E)
    The measure of whether one has a Divine Spirit aptitude or not. The Telchines are a race that share origins with titans and giants, and are even able to create artifacts of Divine Construct nature. Lancer originally possessed a higher rank of this Skill, but her hatred against the gods made it to be reduced to its current rank.

    Item Construction (C++)
    The skill to manufacture magical items. As a Lancer, she is not able to use this skill to the fullest. She is still able to create weapons comparable to a C-rank Noble Phantasm, but that would require around two weeks of dedication, impractical for a conventional Holy Grail War. The Telchines are extremely skilled at the creation of substances and armament, having worked for the gods before the birth of Hephaestus. If summoned as a Caster, this skill would be EX-ranked.

    Telchines Magecraft (D)
    The natural talent of the race of the Telchines in magecraft. Their high-advanced magecraft was even the cause of their ruin, as the gods felt threatened. At the current rank, Lancer is able to use magecraft compared to an average modern magus. If summoned as a Caster, this skill would be EX-ranked.

    Noble Phantasm
    Triaina Gaieokhos
    Bringer of Calamity

    Rank: A++
    Anti-Fortress

    The Telchines were the originals creators of one of the most known Divine Constructs used by the Greek Pantheon, the trident used by the sea-god Poseidon. Macelo was a member of the group that personally crafted the trident, and while in any myth she did not wielded it, she is able to be summoned with it just for the short time that it was in her hands.

    The trident is a powerful Divine Construct, and just by touching it on the ground, it is able to create small earthquakes, while swinging it can bring a storm. Just for having it in hands, Lancer becomes a big threat, as the sole strength of this Noble Phantasm completely make for her very poor parameters.

    By calling the Noble Phantasm true name, water will start to concentrate around the spear, and by throwing it as an harpoon it will generate a destruction that could be described as a “storm that no human ever witnessed”. It is the strongest technic Lancer can use, and it is the means used by Poseidon as a form of punishment against humans.

    Telkhines Kataklysmos
    Divine Punishment

    Rank: EX
    Anti-City Noble Phantasm

    The second Noble Phantasm of Lancer, and it is only used as a last resource. It is a Reality Marble that recreates the last day of the Telchines race, as it was destroyed by the gods themselves aided.

    It is a Noble Phantasm with a prerequisite for its activation. Right after its name is summoned, Lancer must relinquish of her trident, as it will be used as a catalyst for the reproduction of the calamitous event caused by it. The surroundings, as everyone in the area of effect will be transported to a lone island in ruins, with the sea and the skies dominated by a powerful storm, while waves and lightning destroy everything they touch.

    The Reality Marble can be maintained while Lancer can supply the magical energy needed. This Noble Phantasm incorporates the “lone survivor” part of her myth, making it impossible to kill Lancer while inside it, however it can be said that when she finishes this technic, she is in a “1 Hit-Point” status, and any strike afterwards can be fatal if she is not properly healed.

    Last edited by Hakuro; March 18th, 2018 at 10:10 AM.

  6. #9826
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Macelo: In her lore section, when you say her tribe lacked "apathy" to other life, did you mean empathy? I feel like it would make more sense in that context. I also think that, if you're going to give her an entirely unique Magecraft Skill, it couldn't hurt to give her some detail on what kinds of spells she can cast and what makes hers different then other forms of Magecraft. Other then those minor critiques, it's a pretty cool sheet overall.

    Appreciate the BOTW faceclaim by the way. Even if it's a bit ironic seeing the sweet girl-next-door Mipha used to portray what's basically a misanthropic arms-dealer.
    Last edited by RoydGolden; March 17th, 2018 at 08:48 PM. Reason: Fixed gender

  7. #9827
    吸血鬼 Vampire Hakuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Macelo: In her lore section, when you say her tribe lacked "apathy" to other life, did you mean empathy? I feel like it would make more sense in that context. I also think that, if you're going to give her an entirely unique Magecraft Skill, it couldn't hurt to give him some detail on what kinds of spells she can cast and what makes hers different then other forms of Magecraft. Other then those minor critiques, it's a pretty cool sheet overall.

    Appreciate the BOTW faceclaim by the way. Even if it's a bit ironic seeing the sweet girl-next-door Mipha used to portray what's basically a misanthropic arms-dealer.
    Thanks, I corrected the apathy/empathy stuff. And I will try to come with a better description to the Magicraft Skill.

  8. #9828
    吸血鬼 Vampire King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    Shiki-pon you have guessed the right meaning of my Question !

    Bloble and others: I said Dracule Vlad only as Comparison and i made the two Pharaoh based on their importance and significance in their dynasty also inpoint of fame are also Karna and Arjuna quite unknown outside their homeland /culturspehre just like Setgos I and Sesostris I .
    Ps: Their wouldnt been my last pharaohnic Servantprofile and i will show you in the the next days my Saladin !
    The thing with Karna and Arjuna is that, with fame boost or not, they were demigods throwing universe busters at each other with the whole Indian pantheon watching them fight. You can't really compare a Pharaoh like Sethos, whose lore would make him quite strong if he wasn't completely overshadowed by Ozymandias, with two of the strongest mythological heroes to ever exist. If you made your Pharaohs have a similar condition to Vlad's, then it'd be other thing.
    Leysritt needs more screentime and love



  9. #9829
    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    Any thing I need to fix with my sheet?

  10. #9830
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors pinetree's Avatar
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    Berserker of Nazareth



    Height: 176cm
    Weight: 73kg
    Likes: Nature, smoking tobacco, love stories, guns
    Dislikes: Monarchy, dictators
    Attribute: Man
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Catalyst: A bloody handkerchief with his initials embroidered in it, said to have been found by his lover the night after his execution.

    Parameters:
    STR
    ◙◙◙B
    END ◙◙◙B+
    AGI ◙◙◙C
    MGI E
    LUC D
    NP ◙◙◙ B

    Berserker’s true name is Joaquim José da Silva Xavier, commonly known as
    Toothpuller
    Tiradentes
    , he was a soldier, miner and dentist; but most of all he was participant in the
    Minas Conspiracy
    Inconfidência Mineira
    , a conspiracy that aimed to grant the state of Minas Gerais independence during the time when Brazil was still a colony under the control of Portugal. It was a failure, and Tiradentes was ultimately executed in an exaggerated display of the monarchy’s power. He was hanged, but after that his body was chopped and his pieces were scattered around the city.
    Berserker bears an astonishing resemblance to Jesus Christ (or, at least, with how the messiah is usually portrayed). He dresses in a white tunic, has long brown hair and beard, white skin and brown eyes.
    In life he didn’t have this appearance, however, due to certain circumstances, that is his form as a Heroic Spirit. Because of that Berserker will often prefers to wear modern clothing, tying his hair in a ponytail.
    He also carries a blunderbuss and two pistols, the weapons he had when he was captured in life. They, obviously, clash immensely with his holy appearance, and are the only clue to his summoner that no, they did not summon the son of God.


    Personality, Lore and Wish

    "If we all want, we can make this country into a great nation. Let's do it"

    Berserker is an introspective man, but he can be social if the need arises. Despite that, he sometimes is rash, intense or even rude. It's accurate to describe him as a good man with bad manners, someone who's intelligent and self-aware but lacks self-restraint.
    For a long time after his death he was exalted as a hero he never truly was in life, his history magnified to fit the need for a national symbol for the recently established republic, however, the common notion of him nowadays is that he was just another one of the rich men in Minas Gerais that wanted the independence of their state just to avoid higher taxes, who was then executed and turned into a fake symbol for a rising government.
    In truth, both options are too extreme, it is a fact that Berserker never managed to achieve enough in life to deserve the title of a "national hero", but he really did desire the best for his people, and while his actions in the Inconfidência Mineira didn't amount to much, his heart and ideals were undoubtedly righteous.
    His own feelings about the matter are complicated, he agrees that he never managed to be the hero he wished to be, but he also dislikes being considered a selfish member of the elite of Minas, especially since he worked for most of his life to earn a place in society (a place which wasn't even that high up). One thing is certain: after being summoned, Berserker will do anything possible to live up to the heroism they imposed into him, and to prove wrong those who doubted it.

    It was April 21, 1792 when the day of his execution came, after being betrayed by a friend and member of the conspiracy. From that day he really only remembers two things: hearing the woman he loves among the crowd screaming "
    Always
    Perpétua
    !" and the rage in the eyes of the people, forced to watch as one of them was killed just for believing they could do better, be better.
    Berserker doesn't have a proper wish for the grail, it seems like his intent is just to continue existing for a while longer. He feels like by living long enough in the War and by being saved by his Noble Phantasm multiple times, he's already accomplishing his wish.


    Class Skills

    Madness Enhancement (Fake) D.

    If all watching felt such anger, then surely, he was the most furious of all

    This is the class skill that characterizes a Berserker, at this rank it grants a rank up for Strength and Endurance. Usually this skill would also hamper language ability and complex thoughts over extended periods of time, however…
    Berserker was never insane in life and had no famous episodes of uncontrollable rage, it is only due to Innocent Monster that this skill is granted to him. "If all watching his execution felt such anger, surely, he was the most furious of all", that's the belief that granted him this skill.
    He may receive the enhancements, but the madness is not his.


    Personal Skills

    Innocent Monster C.

    A common man with a dream? A sacred national hero? A fraud?

    An attribute possessed by servants whose true history and existence have been distorted by the monstrous reputations and gossips they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter, without concern for the actual person’s will and appearance, it is similar to a curse and cannot be removed.
    His real appearance was completely forgotten by the general populace, and even if his current reputation is not the best, parts of his fabricated legend are still the most relevant facts about him to the public. Thus, he is granted Madness Enhancement and bears the appearance of the son of God just like paintings used to portray him at the time. In addition, due to this skill his true name is considerably more difficult to be discovered, and even abilities that can reveal it have a chance to fail due to the fact that "he's no longer who he was in life."


    Inconfidente Mineiro B.

    "If I had ten lives I would give away them all, just to save theirs"

    A skill that represents his fight for the independence of Brazil. It grants a mental protection that negates all mental interference, much like the skill Martyr’s Soul. In addition, it also grants him a rank up to Strength and Luck when fighting against "nobles" and "monarchs."
    Berserker is a man who worked for his place in society, and that fought those higher up who abused their powers despite having them just because of their birth. It is no exaggeration to say this skill is the crystallization of his determination to fight for his people.


    Human Anatomy Understanding D+.

    A Skill that allows one to have a grasp of the inner workings of the human body, like a piece of precision machinery. All actions intended to heal through skills, magecraft, etc. are improved. One is able to target enemy vitals with extreme precision, and all damage inflicted is increased. In addition, all damage received by the user is reduced.
    While Berserker was a doctor, he was still just a dentist (the profession was the reason for his nickname), as much as his job required him to study the entire human anatomy, it doesn’t even come close to the ability of more general health professionals, specially because he never received formal education. However, it does gain one + modifier when relating to injuries and attacks directed to the mouth and/or throat.


    Noble Phantasm(s)


    Antítese da Perpétua-Roxa
    Negating the Flower of Death
    .
    Type: Self
    Rank: B


    "'The most dangerous role, I want it for myself.' Do not worry Master, this time neither bad omens nor Portugal can threaten me. This time these flowers will guarantee my victory."

    Purple Globe Amaranth Antithesis. This is a permanently active-type of Noble Phantasm.
    Berserker died as an example, the crown needed a show of strength to extinguish any fire in the heart of the Brazilians who wanted independence, so after being hanged, his body was chopped into pieces and those were spread across the city.
    In other words, they couldn’t kill Tiradentes any other way if they wanted him and his ideals to be truly eliminated.
    This concept is strengthened by Innocent Monster and thus sublimated into a Noble Phantasm: Tiradentes is functionally immortal, any injuries—even fatal ones—will be healed during a period between a second and two hours depending on the severity of the wound. The only way to cancel this effect is by chopping him and spreading the pieces of his corpse far apart from one another. At this point he will become vulnerable once again and most likely die on the spot unless he is somehow put together and healed immediately.
    Incidentally, it seems like whenever he is healing, yellow globe amaranth petals fall out of his wounds, and when chopped up, purple globe amaranths grow around his pieces. It seems like these effects are a byproduct of the name of his Noble Phantasm, which in turn is named after these flowers because Tiradentes himself feels like there's a deep connection between them and his execution, or perhaps it would be better to say that he's subconsciously relating "not-dying" with "globe amaranths" in an attempt at denying that connection.


    Libertas Quae Sera Tamen
    Freedom, Even If It Be Late
    .
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B

    "You may cut my body and salt my lands, but it won't matter! My dream is an inevitable conclusion! Libertas Quae Sera Tamen!"

    Libertas Quae Sera Tamen was the motto of the Minas Conspiracy. The participants of the conspiracy swore to see their people free, Tiradentes more than anyone else. And while yes, they did fail, freedom eventually came, and their motto was made true.
    When activated it will "free" the target from something that bounds them, be that contracts, curses, vows, etc.
    The target may perform a saving throw if they want, but even if they succeed, the effect will only be delayed, not prevented. The NP will still break their bounds eventually, with the delay depending on how well they performed in the check. Servants from countries that were once a colony and that lived during those times have a higher chance of being affected, the same is true for targets that want to be freed.
    However, maybe because this is something born from a weak concept strengthened by Innocent Monster, or maybe because of some tampering from the summoning system, this NP cannot affect the systems of the Grail War such as the contract between Master and Servant. The only exception are Command Spell orders in which the affected Servant is actively resisting, in that case alone Libertas Quae Sera Tamen works normally.


    Bond Craft Essence


    (a purple globe amaranth laid on top of a bloody handkerchief)

    Perpétua

    Always
    Perpétua
    Mineira, the woman he loved.
    Purple Globe Amaranth
    Perpétua-Roxa
    , a flower she cultivated at home.

    The couple knew their meetings posed a danger to both, and so decided not to meet again until his plans were successful.
    The man asked for one of the flowers that originated her nickname, so that he could always carry her love with him. But instead, she cut out a lock of hair.
    "Have a better gift, but no, not the perpétua! Look: I only have purple ones, those are flowers of death."
    He took the lock of hair but that wasn't enough. He wanted a flower.

    There was no way that anything carrying her name, signifying their love, could bring him demise.

    "Then take it, but this is a bad omen... Be happy! Goodbye! Whatever your destiny may be, I'll love you
    always
    perpétua
    . Remember it: Perpétua!..."

    Tiradentes was captured and imprisoned on that same year—1789—and he never saw Perpétua Mineira again until April 21, 1792: moments before his execution.


    Relationships


    Emiya Alter.
    Just the sight of him saddens Tiradentes. He tries to be friendly often, and though the Archer usually doesn’t appreciate his company, they do have a point in common: their interest in guns sometimes provides enough for them to share a few hours of conversation.

    Jeanne d'Arc Alter.
    She hates the fact that even when his own country considers him to be a fraud, he holds them no ill will, and considers his sadness towards that topic pathetic: he should be enraged! Berserker sees her as a mirror of what he could be if his will was any weaker or Innocent Monster was any stronger, and he often tries to lead her away from the path of vengeance. Yes, much like a certain holy maiden tries to force a sisterly relationship on her, Tiradentes tries to force a friendship.

    Jeanne d'Arc.
    Due to his various attempts at helping Jeanne Alter with her issues, he often works together with regular Jeanne, who also constantly tries to do the same. They fail every time, but from these efforts a great friendship between the two was born.

    Saint Martha.
    Her appearance is so similar to the Perpétua Mineira he loved… but she's a saint.
    His appearance is so similar to the Messiah she met.... but he's not Him.
    Indeed, the only result possible from them interacting is absolute awkwardness.
    Last edited by pinetree; May 4th, 2018 at 11:27 PM. Reason: grammar

  11. #9831
    E-Rank Bronzefag MehKitteh's Avatar
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    Huh?
    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    also Karna and Arjuna quite unknown outside their homeland /culturspehre just like Setgos I and Sesostris I .
    *cough*Indonesia*cough*

    Quote Originally Posted by venomking View Post
    Any thing I need to fix with my sheet?
    First of all, I don't think that At the Boundary is justified with your description and explanation. I suppose that the skill is meant for those whose essential existence is linked to Death, or is Death itself. Simply pillaging and killing for survival is not enough to qualify for that Skill, in my opinion.

    The other Skills are meh, too many and most of them are placeholder Skills for whatever he did in his legends with bland Ranks. I'd like to see some of them removed (or merged!) while fleshing out the description for why he has that skill. Seriously, it feels like reading a lorem ipsum.

    Then his NP. Nice concept. Very buff-y for a rather obscure(?) figure, and the first requirement needs some tweaking. I guess that not all Servants are equivalent to an army, so probably toning down that first requirement by a bit?

    Aaaaaaand lastly, it would be very helpful and kind of you if your sheets are as good grammatically as your question.
    ---
    Joaquim: Make his First NP revives him after 3 days and he's perfect. Jokes aside, this is a very, very good sheet. Admittedly I have a small bias towards Berserkers with NPs not intended for fighting, but the idea of an unkillable idea is really interesting. Good job!
    Last edited by MehKitteh; March 17th, 2018 at 11:34 PM. Reason: Dammit, I double-posted
    ---
    Dreams of swallow cuts.
    ---
    summs up a lot of my ironic weeaboo circles
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    people who have waifus are necessarily mentally ill


  12. #9832
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MehKitteh View Post
    Joaquim: Make his First NP revives him after 3 days and he's perfect. Jokes aside, this is a very, very good sheet. Admittedly I have a small bias towards Berserkers with NPs not intended for fighting, but the idea of an unkillable idea is really interesting. Good job!
    I was actually really close to making his first NP like that! It was "an idea that comes back no matter what" instead of "an idea that cannot be killed" until I found out about Perpétua Mineira and decided to change half of the sheet. Also at that point I think the Jesus fake out was hurting the actual Servant.

    Also I share your love for NPs not intended for fighting, and not only on Berserkers.

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    吸血鬼 Vampire King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Why is Joaquim's sheet making me cry manly tears?
    Leysritt needs more screentime and love



  14. #9834
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Why is Joaquim's sheet making me cry manly tears?
    I did try writing his background as tragically as possible haha

  15. #9835
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Nice.
    Best Jesus.
    Died to save us from a day of work

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  16. #9836
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    Nice.
    Best Jesus.
    Died to save us from a day of work
    That's what I call a hero, he understood what his people really needed.
    Last edited by pinetree; March 18th, 2018 at 02:56 PM.

  17. #9837
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    You did a good job with the Tiradentes sheet. Good personality, NPs are pretty well tied to his legends. I don't really feel Mad Enhancement (Fake), but it is what it is. I like the Amaranth visual going on on the first NP

    Personally if we're speaking about making national heroes, Tiradentes never really seemed to be interesting because lets be frank, the only thing he did was be a scapegoat and later be idealized into a Jesus Figure. I just didn't think it was a compelling dude to write about mechanically-wise.
    I think you did the best possible job one could do about Tiradentes. I just don't think even that is much interesting.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Really love that Martha bit though

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  18. #9838
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    You did a good job with the Tiradentes sheet. Good personality, NPs are pretty well tied to his legends. I don't really feel Mad Enhancement (Fake), but it is what it is. I like the Amaranth visual going on on the first NP
    I struggled quite a bit with his Mad Enhancement, I knew I wanted him to be a Berserker, but felt like his personality didn't fit with ME EX, and also didn't want him to lose his sanity or speech capability. It's hard to create a character you like just to take away their personality I guess.

    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    Personally if we're speaking about making national heroes, Tiradentes never really seemed to be interesting because lets be frank, the only thing he did was be a scapegoat and later be idealized into a Jesus Figure. I just didn't think it was a compelling dude to write about mechanically-wise.
    I think you did the best possible job one could do about Tiradentes. I just don't think even that is much interesting.
    Yeah I can get that, my idea for Tiradentes originally came from Siegfried in Apocrypha. I really liked the concept of a servant who was considered a hero in life but didn't achieve his personal standards and objectives in heroism, and for some reason that got me thinking about Tiradentes. Someone who isn't even considered a hero anymore, what if he actually wanted to be one? That's how it started.

    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    Really love that Martha bit though
    Thanks! I thought quite a bit about all those interactions, but in the end the most simple did come out as the best one.

  19. #9839
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Did he have to be a Berserker though?
    If you're using the Jesus imagery, you could've went with him being a very shitty Ruler
    The fake savior gets put into the class for saints. Things would be even more awkward for him.

    Also, don't you think that something like perpetual, eternal or everlasting would be a better translation for Perpétua? "Always" doesn't really bring the sense of time that word has
    Last edited by JetKinen; March 18th, 2018 at 06:09 PM.

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
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  20. #9840
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    Also, don't you think that something like perpetual, eternal or everlasting would be a better translation for Perpétua? "Always" doesn't really bring the sense of time that word has
    I can't speak for pine's intentions, but those words sound way too purple. "Always" is simple and emphatic, which fits the cry of an anguished lover in English better then any of the slightly more accurate alternatives.

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