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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #10801
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crying View Post
    Wait, so I'm Shinji? Ew....
    Well, at least you can cry about it.

    I wonder if you can have a lostbelt servant from a nicer timeline, like a mordred who was acepted by artoria and becomes the princess of camelot.


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

  2. #10802
    吸血鬼 Vampire CritHit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the god of world-0 View Post
    Well, at least you can cry about it.

    I wonder if you can have a lostbelt servant from a nicer timeline, like a mordred who was acepted by artoria and becomes the princess of camelot.
    Lostbelts are specifically bad though, I believe that's their whole point.

    EDIT: How about a Mordred from a Lostbelt where Mordred goes from princess of Camelot to tyrant of Britain?
    Last edited by CritHit; May 2nd, 2018 at 09:26 PM.

  3. #10803
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    IIRC, Lostbelts are essentially timelines that reached a "dead-end" for humanity -- where they cannot progress any further. Be it unleashing apocalypse or a realization of utopia, these routes are "pruned."

    If I'm wrong, someone please correct me.
    The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
    Coffee would be nice, though.

    [Collection of my Servant Sheets]
    Now Revamped!

  4. #10804
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    So, if mordred is good, saber does not die, the age of gods does not end. It looks like a dead end to me.


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

  5. #10805
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SleepMode View Post
    IIRC, Lostbelts are essentially timelines that reached a "dead-end" for humanity -- where they cannot progress any further. Be it unleashing apocalypse or a realization of utopia, these routes are "pruned."

    If I'm wrong, someone please correct me.
    You're completely right, sooner or later we're going to have to end a perfect happy world for the sake of our flawed timeline. Kirshtaria's is probably one of the good ones.

  6. #10806
    Perfectly Balanced Unit Der Ritter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the god of world-0 View Post
    So, if mordred is good, saber does not die, the age of gods does not end. It looks like a dead end to me.
    *Goddess of Rhongomyniad plays softly in the background*
    TFW Thomas Edison is a lion, King Arthur is a girl, and Humanity'' mom is Shin Godzilla



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  7. #10807
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    There are no happy endings, only bittersweet.
    The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
    Coffee would be nice, though.

    [Collection of my Servant Sheets]
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  8. #10808
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors pinetree's Avatar
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    Please give me good end Seibah even if we have to end her thanks

  9. #10809
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    I just want to see the other Tragic Boyband Members + 2 Girls KoRT
    The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
    Coffee would be nice, though.

    [Collection of my Servant Sheets]
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  10. #10810
    Across This New Borderline RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinetree View Post
    You're completely right, sooner or later we're going to have to end a perfect happy world for the sake of our flawed timeline. Kirshtaria's is probably one of the good ones.
    "If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be"- Yogi Berra

  11. #10811
    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    "Let us show are enemies the darkness of Tartarus, and the light Elysium.

    Class: caster.
    Alternate clasess: rider.
    True name: Hades.
    Origion: Greece.
    Alighnment: chaotic good.

    Paramteres:
    strength: C+
    agility: D
    mana: A+
    endurance: D
    luck: B
    Np: EX

    Height: 6"5
    hair color: black.
    Skin tone: pale white, with an olive tenge to to it.
    Body frame: fit, but not in a muscular way.
    catlyste: a tooth from Cerberus.
    Eye color: red, with golden irises.
    armament: a magical suite which changes it form based on his taste, and gives him minor resistance to the elements.

    Class skills:
    iteam construction
    rank: C+
    despiet being a god, he did craft many magical items in life thou he has used some, as such his rank is low due to him only being able to craft magic iteam she knew how to craft in life, thus he can only craft potions and such to the rank of C+.

    territory creation
    rank: Ex.
    the rank is high due to his noble phanatsm.

    Personel skills:

    Ruler of after
    rank: A
    denotes one has somone who has rule of an after life, it cause ones stats to raise in front of enemies who are dying, thou only temporarily. He gains a + modifier to all of his skills, when this skill is active. This skills most useful ate ute is the ability to discern the identity of servants who entered their domain in myth by sight.

    Beauty of trouble with women.
    rank: B+
    his attraction to gigs his enough to be a direct hi defense to battle, And at this rank cannot be overcome, as an individual who almost killed humanity over his love for Persephone, his obvious that he would
    possess this skill.

    Undead familiars
    rank:B
    caster can call on the undead spirits around him to help him fight in battle, he can countrol these new familiars with mental commands, and Tehran familiars themselves will move on their intuition in order to help caster. The spirits aren't able to directly fight servants but they can offer mental interference, and scout out areas for him.

    Jewel manifestion
    due to his Roman interpretation, their is a random chance for the ground to be turned into rare gems and minerals.


    Backstory: the older brother to Zeus, when he was born he was eaten by his father Chronos, and for many years lived inside his belly, after Zuez tricked Chronos into drinking an Elixir he was set free along with Phoesidan, Hera, and Demeter. Together they went, and freed the cyclops were Hades received his helm, as well as his bident, along with his brother and sisters he helped Zuez subjugate their father and the Titans, after their hard earned victory. They sat down at Olympus and in order to decide which brother should rule which, they each drew straws, caster drew the short straw and thus become the ruler of the underworld. Later him and Demeter would have a one sided complication in which a certain a girl would be born(trying not to make this too long, and I got tired of fighting atou correct) he he would essentially kind nap later. He would also help many heroes, and drastically change the state in the underworld adding the three judges, setting up a proper pay for the ferry, and useing Cerberus to keep them pesky, rude mortals out and keep them delightful spirits in.

    Perosnality: despite some his ahem actions ahem he is not the villain most media betrays as, and he tends to be fair for the most part with those around him, and will only cause suffering for those he deems evil, he is sadly a wominizer, thou this is not to state that he could considers girls to be weak, as he knows for a fact that they are not, but rather he simply hates hates to see girls hurt. This creates many problems for him, as most of the peaple summoning him are either sunderies or head strong Lolis.

    NPs:

    The helm of hades
    rank: A+
    a helm that when worn, gives caster complete invisibility, and hides his presence thou this comes at the cost of great man use.

    The bident of Hades
    rank: C
    oen of the weapons given to Hades, it special atou ute is that strikes used by it weaken an openents soul, thus weakening their weal, the spear can also be thrown and returned to the user.

    divine fruit of the underworld
    name: underworld fruit.
    rank: A++
    Hades is able to summon a phantasmic fruit, that when eaten, binds one to the undefworld keeping them from leaving but only if they eat the whole thing, if they only eat part of the fruit, they only have to stay a day(was going to with a month but thought that would be too long) for each bite they took from the fruit. The Np can only be active when the ruler of the underworld Np is active.

    cerbures.
    rank: A++
    the guard dog if the under world, it is a three headed dig with ferrous strength, it can be summoned by Hades to fight for him.

    The ruler of the underworld.
    rank: Ex.
    It is imedeiantly active upon Hades being summoned, it draws in the souls of those that die within the city Hades resides in, immediantly taking them out of the cycle of rebirth. Hades can also draw peaple and servants in. The domain is comely under Hades countrol, and in order to deactivate the Np Hades must be killed first. Soul that are not pulled in are immediately brought before the three judges. If they are judged good, they are sent to eluysuem, if they are judged neutral they are sent into the river Lethe to have their memories washed away and become servants if Hades, if they are judged bad they are sent to Tartarus to suffer. If a servant enters they must first pay the toll for ten taxi, then they must either sneak past, or slay Cerberus. Were they can then precede to pass the river Lethe, if the water touches them their memories will be lost master or servant, if they make it across the river Lethe, they must then enter the fields of Elysium and not fall for the temptation to remain their, and in order to gain entrance into Tartarus they must kill one of the spirits in Elysium, were then they then must endure all of the punishments that Tartarus has to offer. Only then can they enter the palace if Hades and attempt to kill him, thou Hades can Completly countrol and manipulate the land, gains a rank to all his parameters, and has an army spirits to fight for him, if they loose to Hades they are sent into Lethe, the underworld will dispel, allowing them to leave thou absulitly no time will have passed.
    Last edited by venomking; May 2nd, 2018 at 10:39 PM.

  12. #10812
    https://goo.gl/88mdof Criarino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Unless I have a RL picture of someone, I tend to picture them as their anime avatars half the time anyways...
    THEM I'M KUMAGAWA?! YEAH! MY DREAM CAME TRUE
    Well, thinking better...
    My servants and mages
    Sorry, my english sucks
    Things

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    He-man x Shiki Satsujinki

    I love the internet

    OH GOD SO CUTE

  13. #10813
    Perfectly Balanced Unit Der Ritter's Avatar
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    Why would you do my boy Hades like that? He didn't deserve this.
    TFW Thomas Edison is a lion, King Arthur is a girl, and Humanity'' mom is Shin Godzilla



    Me when Reading Kamen Rider fanfics




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  14. #10814
    吸血鬼 Vampire
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    ...welcome back venomking. Nice to see SOME improvement on this sheet. Some more work and you'll be making pretty decent sheets in no time.

  15. #10815
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacus View Post
    Look Zinnia is a dragon trainer, you have a dragon avatar before.
    Please don't give Zinnia more reasons to want to crash against an asteroid
    Last edited by King of Padoru; May 3rd, 2018 at 02:23 AM.

  16. #10816
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CritHit View Post
    There's no reason for B-Rank agility. Nor is there a reason for him to have Green Lantern powers.
    Edit: To clarify my answer, "is it wanked/overpowered?", YES! And not even in a sensible way. There are plenty of ways to generalize his beliefs/teachings into a reasonably wanked NP, you just went about it the worst way possible.
    Well back to the drawing Board i would say ,especially the Nobelphantasm good back at old concept idea.
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  17. #10817
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I don't have time to give full feedback on Suhrawardi but for now, isn't it a little offensive to have him say that Christianity is a "step in the right direction" from Islam? I'd be fine with him being disillusioned with modern Islam, but taking an Islamic cultural icon and making them a mouthpiece for why Christianity is actually better feels kind of appropriative and gross. I know that wasn't your intention, but that's how it came off to me.

    On a lighter note, who/what is the ,",;.:;;,. that you censored out in the description for his Gnosis Of Stellar Beings Skill? Just curious.
    With step in the right direction i meant in the way to a decent pure faith unregarded from his Statement about the modern Islam .

    Well he didnt know the name of it but ,",;.:;;. means Angel.please give me a full feedback when you have time.
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  18. #10818
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Rider of Constantinople
    Faceclaim

    FC Link
    Servant Class: Rider
    Alternate Classes: Saber, Archer, Rider, Caster, Berserker
    True Name: Suleiman the Magnificent
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Origin: Middle-East (16th century)
    Armament: Sword

    Parameters:
    STR: D
    END: B
    AGI: D
    MANA: D
    LUCK: C
    NP: B

    Skills
    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance - Rank C+: A Skill grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether.
    Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals. In addition, Rider has a particular resistance against magic from divine sources.

    Riding - Rank B: Most vehicles and animals can be handled with above average skill, even vehicles that did not exist in the time period one was alive in, for they are no exception. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts.
    As the leader of an army that consisted of a cavalry and a navy ranked among the world’s largest, Rider’s rank in this Skill is enhanced by his command of those who were experienced in riding beasts and vehicles.

    Personal Skills:

    Eye for Art - Rank B: Infatuation with works of art. If one happens to see a Noble Phantasm that possess artistic anecdotes, there is a high chance that he might be able to figure out its true name.

    Imperial Privilege - Rank A+: An ability that, due to the insistence of the owner, Skills that are essentially impossible to possess can be obtained for a short period of time. In cases when the Rank is А or above, even the "burden to the body" can be acquired (such as ‘Divinity’).
    For Rider, the relevant Skills are ‘Strategy’, swordsmanship, ‘Charisma’, ‘Golden Rule’ and others.

    Curse of the Faith - Rank B+: A Skill similar in nature to ‘Innocent Monster’, being born from the prayers of those who opposed him. Incidentally, this Personal Skill cannot be removed.
    Rider’s appearance remains undistorted, but a sort of gloominess follows him wherever he goes. The Skill’s true nature is a curse of misfortune, one which constantly wears Rider down. At the start of a standard Holy Grail War, Rider’s ‘Magic Resistance’ would ward off the worst effects, but the curse will eventually wear down his defenses. Rider will start to receive rank-downs on his parameters and Skills, and will undergo great misfortune.
    In essence, thanks to the curse of misfortune, “Rider cannot prevail”. He can never attain victory in a Holy Grail War under normal circumstances, but others may achieve victory through him.

    Mental Pollution - Rank -~A: A Skill where due to possessing a distorted mentality, it is possible for one to shut out any mental interference thaumaturgy. However, at the same time, it becomes impossible for one to come to a mutual understanding with individuals who do not possess an equivalent rank of ‘Mental Pollution’.
    At the start of a Holy Grail War, Rider doesn’t possess ‘Mental Pollution’ as a Skill. However, as the war goes on and his ‘Curse of the Faith’ Skill starts to take effect, Rider will begin to develop a sense of paranoia. Over the course of a Holy Grail War, this paranoia will only grow stronger. He may even begin to hallucinate, seeing visions of his past successes and friends.

    Noble Phantasms
    Süleyman-in Sefer-i Humāyūn:
    The Sultan’s Wars

    Rank A+, Anti-Army
    A continuously active-type Noble Phantasm, it is a representation both of Rider’s many victories and conquests as well as the military might it took to achieve them. At its core, it is a Noble Phantasm that keeps spawning soldiers as long as Rider remains in physical form. These soldiers take the form of janissaries, sipahi cavalry and even siege cannons. No matter the type, these soldiers can harm Servants as they are considered Rider’s “weapons”, but are individually almost useless against Servants. Only through vast numbers can the soldiers hope to be able to harm Servants. There are slight variances in speed and power when it comes to the different soldier types.
    In addition, Rider can activate Süleyman-in Sefer-i Humāyūn willingly to produce greater numbers of a certain type of soldier. This also boosts the chosen soldier type’s effectiveness. As the activation is a representation of his victories in the field, it is possible to create modifiers and circumstances that boost the effectiveness even further.
    Naturally, this Noble Phantasm is wholly unsuited for the usually stealthy affairs that Holy Grail Wars are, given that there is no way to stop the army from marching forth other than to restrict the amount of magical energy available to Rider. In addition, while in use this Noble Phantasm has a constant, large cost in magical energy, requiring a Master with a high capacity to use effectively.

    Description
    Likes: Personal success, oversized headwear
    Dislikes: The noon bell, loyal-seeming people
    Talents: Administration, poetry
    Natural Enemy: Ibrahim Pasha

    Rider’s true identity is Suleiman the Magnificent, the 10th Sultan of the Ottoman Empire.

    As a ruler, Suleiman strives to be just and fair to all his subjects, who in his view are all those who are not his enemies. He makes it a point of pride to never speak lies, and to recognize talent and bravery, no matter where it comes from. He is, however, also given to bouts of mighty rage, whether due to an already defeated enemy’s stubborn resistance or some other unforeseen failure. When in these rages, Suleiman can act with great cruelty and deceit, such as he did at the end of the Siege of Rhodes.
    Suleiman has an odd quirk of personality where he doesn’t like those who act too loyal around him. As he was betrayed many times during his life by those closest to him, as a Servant he is wary of new treachery. As his ‘Mental Pollution’ rises in rank, this quirk advances to become maddening paranoia. He also has an inexplicable dislike of a church's noon bell. Once his 'Curse of the Faith' begins to affect him, he may even weaken or suffer damage from hearing the bell's peals.
    There is an ambition to him that death hasn’t removed, the ambition to bring ever more lands under his rule. That his empire no longer exists in the modern day is no obstacle, as he believes that his return signifies the return of his empire as well.
    He sees is his Master as his advisor, under his power but a trusted confidante nonetheless. His wish to the Holy Grail would be to attain true incarnation so that he might recreate the Ottoman Empire.

    His appearance, though originally giving an aura befitting a strong ruler, will eventually start to deteriorate. He will start to grow more haggard, the colours he wears becoming muted and dull as the effect of ‘Curse of the Faith’ advances.

    Lore
    Suleiman the Magnificent was the 10th sultan of the Ottoman Empire from 1520 to 1566 who not only undertook bold military campaigns that enlarged his realm but also oversaw the development of what came to be regarded as the most characteristic achievements of Ottoman civilization in the fields of law, literature, art, and architecture.
    Suleiman personally led Ottoman armies in conquering the Christian strongholds of Belgrade and Rhodes as well as most of Hungary before his conquests were checked at the Siege of Vienna in 1529. He annexed much of the Middle East in his conflict with the Safavids and large areas of North Africa as far west as Algeria. Under his rule, the Ottoman fleet dominated the seas from the Mediterranean to the Red Sea and through the Persian Gulf.
    His death came on his last campaign, just before the Ottoman victory.

    Notes
    I originally toyed with the idea of giving him a Noble Phantasm based on his status as a lawmaker, but felt that it was a bit too similar to what I did with Justinian (as well as more fitting for a Caster). Still, it would’ve been fun to mess around with the usual “power by connotation” stuff that Servants so love and give him stuff that can literally change canon (given that the very name of his laws, Kanun, derives from the same root as canon and is used in much the same sense). Still, perhaps leaving that out is for the best.
    His Skills and Noble Phantasms would also change radically with his class. As a Rider, he’s coloured by the perception as “an enemy of Christian Europe” that his enemies saw him as. Thanks to Curse of the Faith, he’s sorta on his way to become a Berserker, though.
    It also occurs to me that his current NP might remind someone of Risk pieces. But then again, that’s sort of fitting. I tried to make it at least a little different from the usual army summoning NP.



    Last edited by Shiki-pon; May 3rd, 2018 at 06:30 AM.

  19. #10819
    吸血鬼 Vampire sherlock1110's Avatar
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    Rider of Constantinople

    Okay this possible won't be the best breakdown of the sheet, sorry if I'm a little rusty. Although this might be a bit picky as far as I understand Suleiman was not born in the Middle-East per se, I don't know if Anatolia necessarily counts as the Middle East but I could be wrong on that, it's a picky point so you're free to ignore it.

    I'm questioning the rationale given for an increased riding skill, I don't know if necessarily commanding a large amount of cavalry and a sizeable navy would have that effect. That's more a matter of an uninformed opinion, but I thought that at rank B the Servant would have to have some particular association with riding.

    Eye for Art at rank B is also somewhat questionable, he was instrumental in many cultural advancements within the Empire but this would place his rank at the same level as Mozart, with seemingly no explanation. Then again, as we all know, Suleiman taught Mozart and was a Moor according to some reputable sources...

    Okay, this is where I disagree quite seriously the previous points were really just minor questions. Why is imperial privilege A+? To my understanding that skill is based on first the skill-holder being an important, imperial ruler of some kind and secondly their insistence that they had certain skills which they wouldn't usually have. That strikes me as being against Suleiman making a point of never speaking lies as well as being just and fair. I just can't quite understand the ranking of this skill or even if Suleiman would have it. Some other skill could be included to do with lawgiving which you considered adding as a Noble Phantasm, perhaps.

    Curse of the Faith seems somewhat a stretch, firstly this would leave many, many Servants with Curse of the Faith who don't have it. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, he allied the French. It's not exactly the prayers of all Christendom when he could broker alliances with the French. By implication as well both this and Mental Pollution seem quite out of place.

    I can't particularly say there's anything wrong with the Noble Phantasm. It could be fleshed out more and, as it stands, I can't imagine it being Suleiman's NP as it's more of the power of some conquering warlord than a very effective Emperor. To reinforce this point you've included Administration as a talent but there is no skill that reflects his talented administration.

    The colouring of him as the enemy of Christian Europe as a Rider makes him overall far weaker than any Suleiman, or real enemy of Christian Europe for that matter, should be. I can even see him being taken down by an assassin due to his increasing hatred for the noon bell. It's a good effort overall but I think there's points that could be improved, sorry.
    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
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  20. #10820
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Mhm one Question Ahiki-pon how would it be his ability set as Archer or Saber ,because every time when i see a multi class quallyfying Servants i want to know their other capability sets like is he as Archer a Bowman or a Cannoner?
    Ps : pretty infernal picture finnaly you have also one ! Oh and what do you say to my Suhrawardi ?
    Last edited by Kabalisto Koga; May 3rd, 2018 at 07:04 AM.
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





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