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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #12401
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MehKitteh View Post
    Way to demotivate me from making sheets, guys.

    Slumps are the worst.
    I'm a lazy bastard.
    Quality over quantity.

  2. #12402
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    Honjō Masamune
    Sayala Mace
    Reichsschwert/Imperial Sword
    Inariyama Sword
    Arkalochori Axe
    Seven-Branched Sword (Shichishitō)
    Surtalogi
    and Szczerbiec Noblephantasm and wich attributed abbilities would you atest them in the fateverse?
    ps:i have already some ideas but i want to hear th oppinion from the others here.
    Hmm, I think it'd be hard for me to suggest anything without knowing about what Heroic Spirits you're intending these weapons for. The same NP can have very different effects depending on the Heroic Spirit who wields it, after all. Still, I'll try my best to give some suggestions. I know you PMed me about this, but I'm replying here for posterity.

    Honjo Masamune- Since it was the most famous of Masamune's swords and its anecdote of cutting through a general's helmet in one blow, I'd imagine as an NP it'd be able to cut through anything, from physical armors to abstract concepts like time and distance. Seems like a suitably BS power for the Nasuverse to me.

    Sayala Mace- Maybe something to do with summoning illusions of the animals depicted on it to attack? Kind of like Lance's Real Moment ability from the manga Rave Master.

    Reichsschwert- As a sword of divine authority, I imagine it'd have abilities related to divine protection or coronation in some way. I also recall a theory identifying it with Roland's sword Durandal, so maybe you could work that in somehow. Or just make it a beam-sword with some flavor to set it apart from the likes of Caliburn.

    Inariyama- No clue. Sorry.

    Arkalochori Axe- Apparently it was dedicated to the god Tammuz, so perhaps an ability related to shepherding or fertility? Honestly I'm a little stumped on this one as well.

    Shichishito
    - There's a legend that the sword was forged one hundred times and could slay a hundred enemies, so maybe give it the ability to split into a hundred copies that the wielder can command (kind of like a weaker UBW/Gate Of Babylon). Either that or a divine authority/coronation ability like Reichsschwert.

    Surtalogi- As far as I know there's no sword with this name in Norse Myth, but I presume you're referring to Surt's nameless sword here. The most obvious idea here is some kind of fire-powered anti-world beamu attack representing how he consumed the Nine Realms in flame. Since it was used to slay gods, you could also give it a bonus against divine enemies. If you want something more, there's an interesting legend that Surt's sword was actually the same as the sword Frey gave away to marry Gerda, adding a layer of poetic irony to the whole thing. Therefore you could make Surt's sword a corruption of Frey's, sort of like Excalibur Morgan.

    Szczerbiec- Wasn't there a paradox surrounding the sword where its wielder Boleslaus struck it against the Golden Gate of Kiev despite the fact that the Golden Gate hadn't even been built at the time? You could probably derive some sort of causality warping ability from that, like letting him attack the opponent before actually drawing the blade. That and a boost in power when attacking fortified structures, to represent the whole gate-bashing incident.

    Hope this helps!
    Last edited by RoydGolden; July 5th, 2018 at 02:49 PM. Reason: Forgot Inariyama and came up with a slight idea for the axe

  3. #12403
    A Two-Named Thief Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Melia: Curious, I would have thought that as t
    he Meliae are a group of nymphs the character would be closer to a nature spirit/elemental and the like. Doesn't strike me as the kind that would rise to a heroic spirit status like Asterios or Gorgon. If you wanted to go for a nature based hero and power them up in nature, i would have figured the likes of Vivian or Nimue would have been more obvious.

    As for the sheet itself, stats seem alright I guess. Skills are nice aside from Wisdom of Warfare which seems a little derivative of Chiron and Scathach's skill. perhaps something more similar to Tengu's Art of War would have been better but that's just my opinion.. The spear is just Diarmuid's two spears slapped together which to be honest is bland and forgettable (then again I've only posted WIPs lately so there's that) The shield is good though , I like that one.

    Thjálfi: Solid in every aspect from concept to excecution just don't use the word 'trap' though.

    Simo Hayha: No EX's or Reality Marbles? -50/10

    Jeanne de Clisson: Alright, but doesn't particularly stand out to your others and the NP is easily the most interesting thing mechanically speaking. Ultimately she strikes me more as a character more focused on their... well character rather than what they can do.

    Isabel I: Mechanically she's exactly how I imagined Abraham Lincoln to function but as a Caster and the functionality is quite interesting too.

    Chekhov: This is a good NP. Everything else is all fine and well but the NP makes the sheet.

    Yi Sun-sin: Neat. Like every aspect is good, great even! He's probable the reason I don't rate Jeanne because he's just Better.
    Quest of Fate (Update: 10/10/2018)

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  4. #12404
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    Melia: Curious, I would have thought that as t
    he Meliae are a group of nymphs the character would be closer to a nature spirit/elemental and the like. Doesn't strike me as the kind that would rise to a heroic spirit status like Asterios or Gorgon. If you wanted to go for a nature based hero and power them up in nature, i would have figured the likes of Vivian or Nimue would have been more obvious.

    As for the sheet itself, stats seem alright I guess. Skills are nice aside from Wisdom of Warfare which seems a little derivative of Chiron and Scathach's skill. perhaps something more similar to Tengu's Art of War would have been better but that's just my opinion.. The spear is just Diarmuid's two spears slapped together which to be honest is bland and forgettable (then again I've only posted WIPs lately so there's that) The shield is good though , I like that one.

    Thjálfi: Solid in every aspect from concept to excecution just don't use the word 'trap' though.

    Simo Hayha: No EX's or Reality Marbles? -50/10

    Jeanne de Clisson: Alright, but doesn't particularly stand out to your others and the NP is easily the most interesting thing mechanically speaking. Ultimately she strikes me more as a character more focused on their... well character rather than what they can do.

    Isabel I: Mechanically she's exactly how I imagined Abraham Lincoln to function but as a Caster and the functionality is quite interesting too.

    Chekhov: This is a good NP. Everything else is all fine and well but the NP makes the sheet.

    Yi Sun-sin: Neat. Like every aspect is good, great even! He's probable the reason I don't rate Jeanne because he's just Better.
    you forgot again to notice me Servant (Stelletski) sheet!´,/-\S(_) /:´_´`.E``;A !
    Last edited by Kabalisto Koga; July 5th, 2018 at 03:47 PM.
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  5. #12405
    Oh no, Shiki please stop! You'll kill whoever is going to update the FP! :'D

    Literally Shiki
    Boots up computer.

    Tosses hair aside.

    Opens Word.

    Sheets as far as you can scroll.


    "UNLIMITED SHEET WORKS!"

  6. #12406
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Might as well put the link to Shiki's compilation of his own sheets and say "this is it"

  7. #12407
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    Melia: Curious, I would have thought that as the Meliae are a group of nymphs the character would be closer to a nature spirit/elemental and the like. Doesn't strike me as the kind that would rise to a heroic spirit status like Asterios or Gorgon. If you wanted to go for a nature based hero and power them up in nature, i would have figured the likes of Vivian or Nimue would have been more obvious.

    As for the sheet itself, stats seem alright I guess. Skills are nice aside from Wisdom of Warfare which seems a little derivative of Chiron and Scathach's skill. perhaps something more similar to Tengu's Art of War would have been better but that's just my opinion.. The spear is just Diarmuid's two spears slapped together which to be honest is bland and forgettable (then again I've only posted WIPs lately so there's that) The shield is good though , I like that one.
    To be honest I decided to write her just because I read a book recently that featured the Meliae. You're right that she probably wouldn't qualify as a Heroic Spirit, but GO shows that non-Heroic Spirits and even gods can be summoned as Servants anyways so I don't think that's a big deal. Her first NP is admittedly a little generic. I tried hard to think of how to make the concept more interesting, but ultimately I couldn't come up with anything else.

  8. #12408
    The Mighty Mox Uralmash's Avatar
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    That part of me that has finished a sheet and wants to show it here, but the other part of me is reluctant because it is of a character that features prominently in a fanfic I'm writing (So spoilers). But then there's the third side of my inner conflict called "will I ever actually care enough to finish this thing?", hence I should just post it anyway... Stupid mind o' mine.

    "The Tsar lives... forever."

  9. #12409
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uralmash View Post
    That part of me that has finished a sheet and wants to show it here, but the other part of me is reluctant because it is of a character that features prominently in a fanfic I'm writing (So spoilers). But then there's the third side of my inner conflict called "will I ever actually care enough to finish this thing?", hence I should just post it anyway... Stupid mind o' mine.
    If you're really writing the fanfic (not just tossing ideas around that you'll probably never commit to text) then I'd say wait. Delayed gratification for the win!

  10. #12410
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Might as well put the link to Shiki's compilation of his own sheets and say "this is it"
    Already did that. A month or two ago.

  11. #12411
    étiquette Spartacus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uralmash View Post
    That part of me that has finished a sheet and wants to show it here, but the other part of me is reluctant because it is of a character that features prominently in a fanfic I'm writing (So spoilers). But then there's the third side of my inner conflict called "will I ever actually care enough to finish this thing?", hence I should just post it anyway... Stupid mind o' mine.
    Hold my hand brother, I have like, 30 finished one.

  12. #12412
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Historia View Post
    Already did that. A month or two ago.
    I meant putting only his blog entry, since practically every new sheet is his

  13. #12413
    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    True name: meleager(2.0).
    Class: saber.
    alternate class: berserker.
    Likes: respect, feasting, honor, and hunting.
    Dislikes: disrespect, hunger, cheating, curses, Artemis, and prejudice.
    Alightment: lawful good.
    Armaments: conceptual clothes.
    Hight: 5"9
    hair: blond.
    Eyes: gold.

    Parameters:
    Strength: B
    agility: B
    mana: C-
    endurance: B
    luck: A
    Np: A+.

    class skills:

    magic resistance
    rank: B+
    he is granted with decent magic resilience, and requires spell of A rank or higher to damage him.

    Riding:
    C.
    He was taught basic ridding in life, and has no legends serving to show any excellence in ridding, as such he as a low rank in this skill, he is able to ride most mounts, and can ride modern mounts with moderate skill, but is unable to ride magical mounts.


    Personel skills:

    hatred of disrespect.
    a skill specific to meleager for the tune he killed his own brothers for their disrespect towards Atalanta, once disorients someone else his skill is able to be activated, it makes him one rank stronger then his opponent at the cost for complete temporary loss of sanity.

    Bravery
    rank: B
    as somone who bravely defended Atalanta, despite knowing the consequences of such an action he is granted this skill, at this rank it becomes possible to negate mental interference that hinders combat performance.

    Guardian knight
    rank: E
    when protecting somone else his mental fortitude increases by a small amount.

    Charisma
    rank: C-
    suitable for one who lead a gradual of hunters including Atalanta to succefully kill the calydonian boar, but ultimately had to deal with strife within his group.


    Backstory: meleager was born to the king Oeneus and Altheae, however when he was born the fates visited his mother and put his string of fate and bound into a peace of wood and told his mother that should the wood ever be lit on fire meleager would die on the spot, as such his mother protected with her life hiding it and only telling meleager when he was 16 about its existence, whoever teh land at the time was cursed by artemis with Caledonian boat, and he gathered a small group of hunters including two brothers, and was able to get the help Atalanta, during the hunt Atalanta was able to get first blood, and meleager landed the last blow on the boar. Meleager then offered Atalanta the boars hide since she drew first blood. However his two brothers were unhappy with this and disrespected Atalanta, causing meleager to go into a blood curdling rage and kill his two brothers. When his mother heard the news of what he did to his brothers she threw the wood into the fire in fit of rage and grief, cuaseing meleager to burn to ashes and die.

    Personality: meleager is an honor driven individual, who loves to feast much to peril of his masters wallet, he also has bad habit of immediantly exucuting people for disrespect towards others, he is known be very trusting, and will entrust the wood to his master, and follow their plans so long as he sees the plan as suitably honorable. His ultimate wish for the grail is not a second chance at life, but rather to meet Atalanta at least once more, and have an honorable duel with her, as he sees her as the greatest warrior he's ever known, and fanboy obbessed with her, and draw proprietary of her and place them all over his master as if worshipping her.

    NPs:

    tittle: the wood upon which my fate lies.
    Name: tree bark of destiny.
    Rank: A+

    So long as the wood has not been burned or destroyed, he is unkilliabke on the battle, as fate, castuality, and destiny are altered so that no matter teh scenario he will not die, it will be to other servants to be simple luck, however it much greater then luck, for example an arrow may be aimed at his heart but suddenly An NP will destroy, or he'll notice in the nick of time, however the wood does not make unbeatable or indestructible, it is possible to trap or incapacite, and it is rendered useless when facing a god, or one the fates. He must also be within at least mile of the wood or will burn to ash and die.

    Tittle: he whoever draws first blood may take the spoils of the hunt.
    Name: spoils of first blood.
    rank: A.

    A representation of the when he gave Atalanta the boars hide since she drew first blood, as such once he marks a servant for the hunt who ever attacked then first and dealt damage will be given one of that servants NPs, regardless of weather it has physical presence, example gods hand. The skill and ability to use the NP will be granted to that person but they will never be able to use it at the same level as its original owner, the NP will not activate if meleager is the one to draw first blood, thus meleager cannot take an NP for himself.

    Tittle: sword upon which the final blood shall be thrust.
    Name: sword of the final blow.
    Rank: B+



    The he sword gains an immediant damage boost to those who natures are similar to that of a monster, example the minator, it's most prominent ability is that once someone is struck by the blade their fate is forever altered so that no matter what the final blow that will kill them will be received from him, however the NP is only active while he alive so killing him will get rid of this curse.
    Last edited by venomking; July 6th, 2018 at 02:59 PM.

  14. #12414
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Meleager: This is definitely your best version of the guy so far. His second NP is very weird due to how situational it is, though I suppose it'd be more useful for a faction-based Grail War like in Apocrypha. Does "first blood" just refer to the particular battle in which he invokes it or the War as a whole? (Because if the latter, it sounds even more impractical)

    His sword NP is quite cool, I like that one a lot. Also I can't help but notice that his Hatred Of Disrespect has no listed rank.

  15. #12415
    So... this sheet is really good. Stats seem to be on-point, the NPs are a nice balance of power and trickery and his personality has a quirk which makes him a little less tropey. Pitting him against servants with "instant death" abilities like Cu Chulainn's Gae Bolg would be hilarious because I'm pretty sure the spear just wouldn't work

    That being said... all this effort seems wasted when the formatting and grammar of the sheet is so poor. So first and foremost I'd employ some program that can detect misspellings and capitalization errors. I think the latest Word does that, and Google Docs at least has a built-in dictionary. If you can squash out those mistakes you'll do more justice to the actual quality of this sheet.

    Second, you need to make some formatting here. When all the titles and headers are just plain text the entire thing feels kind of clunky and awkward to read. You should probably do something like this:


    This might be the something
    Class Skills

    Magic Resistance

    Rank: B+

    He is granted with decent magic resilience, and requires spell of A rank or higher to damage him.


    A header (like the "Class Skills" above) denotes a change in the content of the text, so it should be emphasized properly. Subheaders (like the names of skills like "Magic Resistance") mark a division in that content, so they should also be emphasized but not to the same extent as the broad content titles.

    When in doubt, you can always copy the formatting of other creators here!

  16. #12416
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lumikoi View Post
    So... this sheet is really good. Stats seem to be on-point, the NPs are a nice balance of power and trickery and his personality has a quirk which makes him a little less tropey. Pitting him against servants with "instant death" abilities like Cu Chulainn's Gae Bolg would be hilarious because I'm pretty sure the spear just wouldn't work

    That being said... all this effort seems wasted when the formatting and grammar of the sheet is so poor. So first and foremost I'd employ some program that can detect misspellings and capitalization errors. I think the latest Word does that, and Google Docs at least has a built-in dictionary. If you can squash out those mistakes you'll do more justice to the actual quality of this sheet.

    Second, you need to make some formatting here. When all the titles and headers are just plain text the entire thing feels kind of clunky and awkward to read. You should probably do something like this:


    This might be the something
    Class Skills

    Magic Resistance

    Rank: B+

    He is granted with decent magic resilience, and requires spell of A rank or higher to damage him.


    A header (like the "Class Skills" above) denotes a change in the content of the text, so it should be emphasized properly. Subheaders (like the names of skills like "Magic Resistance") mark a division in that content, so they should also be emphasized but not to the same extent as the broad content titles.

    When in doubt, you can always copy the formatting of other creators here!
    Yeah, the spelling and grammar is still pretty bad. I've basically learned to tune it out and address the actual merits of the Servant, because a point-by-point spelling/grammar critique is too tedious to contemplate.

  17. #12417
    閻魔 Skull's Avatar
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    Been afflicted with a creative block recently and so have instead been turning my eye to my older sheets and have been thinking of re-writing some of them that I feel were sub-par.


  18. #12418
    Assassin of the Foggy Streets Lambda-Nu's Avatar
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    Hello again, everyone. I've been working on sheet for Goro Nyudo Masamune but I've been having trouble coming up with Skills for him. Other than the usual Class Skills given to Sabers (Magic Resistance and Riding) and a variation of Eye For Art, I don't really have any other ideas. Though, I have been thinking of giving him Item Construction, though it would be restricted to creating swords. Any help would be appreciated.

  19. #12419
    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    To answer royds question, it invokes on the specific battle, as it's is then counted as a hunt. Lumikio I'll work on the grammar and formatting, after I post my 3.0 for melonkamas. Thou thx for the suggestion about format the thought of copying that just honestly never occurred, so thx for that��

  20. #12420
    屍食鬼 Ghoul
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    “No friend ever served me and no enemy ever wronged me whom I have not repaid in full. You would do well to heed my epitaph. Our time together shall be joyous indeed should you prove yourself a friend; I dare any man to question my devotion to those who are likewise devoted to me. And should you make the mistake of becoming an enemy… know that I will shed as much blood as necessary, take any measure necessary, to enact what I feel is right. Would you care to test your luck? You will find that it does not compare to mine.”

    True Name:
    Lucius Cornelius Sulla Felix
    Alignment: Lawful Evil
    Attribute: Man
    Class: Saber

    STR: B
    CON: C
    AGI: C
    MGI: D
    LCK: EX
    NP: B+

    Class Skills
    Magic Resistance: C
    A Skill that denotes protection against magical effects, an ability that cancels spells altogether. At this Rank, it can cancel spells with a chant below two verses, but cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals. Though he was an individual born before the Common Era and the final death of the Age of Gods, no anecdotes exist of Saber having had any particular encounters with entities, events, or objects of a magical or mystical nature over the course of his life. This Skill could therefore be said to be primarily granted to him by the Saber class container.

    Riding: C
    A Skill that denotes the ability to ride mounts. At this Rank, most vehicles and animals can be handled with above average skill. However, Saber cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts. As with any Roman general, Saber was as a rule versed in the riding of horses and chariots, but there exist no anecdotes about his having having any particular skill with riding.

    Personal Skills
    Affections of a Goddess (False): A
    A Skill that denotes the love of a goddess, or rather the impression that such exists. In life, Saber adopted the surname Felix out of a deep-seated belief in his own luck and fortune. The title was proven time and time again throughout his life; his luck was such that he won every battle he ever fought and peacefully retired from a brutal dictatorship without so much as an attempt on his life. Furthermore, the title and its connotations were strongly believed in by all those who knew of him, whether they were his followers or his enemies. It became undeniable for anyone in the Republic that he was supremely fortunate. The most popular explanation for his seemingly unnatural luck, one he himself invented and presented, was that he was Epaphroditus, Venus’s favorite. This explanation was widely accepted to the point that he has been granted this Skill, even if the goddess's love was his own invention. All parameters save CON are Rank-Up, most prominently LCK, granting him near total invulnerability when it comes to saving throws.

    Military Tactics: B
    A Skill that denotes tactical knowledge used not for one-on-one combat situations, but for battles where many are mobilized. Bonus modifiers are provided during use of one’s own Anti-Army Noble Phantasm or when dealing against an enemy Anti-Army Noble Phantasm. At this Rank, any army Saber commands is sure to find some degree of success. In life, Saber led his armies to victory in numerous battles, and was renowned throughout the Roman Republic for his ingenuity and ability as a tactician. He ended the war against Jugurtha in one fell swoop by capturing their king through trickery and went on to obtain victory after victory in the brutal Social War and the grueling campaign against Mithradates. Finally, he successfully won the first civil war of the Roman Republic, even though the odds were stacked against him. There is no prominent battle Saber has ever lost. His exploits as a military leader would be remembered for centuries and have thus been converted into this Skill.

    Charisma: B
    A composite Skill consisting of a person’s charm as well as the natural talent to command or unify an army or country. It increases the ability of allies during group battles. At this Rank, Saber is capable of leading a nation, and the morale of military forces he commands is extremely high. His immense self-confidence and drive are almost contagious for those fighting alongside him. As a result of his childhood in poverty, Saber understood human motivations and the ordinary Roman citizen far more than his peers. In his every command, Saber gained the confidence, acclaim, and enthusiastic devotion of his troops. He even received the Grass Crown, the highest military honor available to Romans, one only granted via the unanimous acclaim and approval of those under their command. Saber would go on to become dictator of the entirety of the sprawling Roman Republic, successfully ruling it for years before retiring peacefully.

    Noble Phantasm
    The Foundation of Peace is Slaughter
    Blade of Proscription

    Rank: B+
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Range: 2
    Maximum targets: 20+
    In life, upon becoming the dictator of the Roman Republic, Saber held absolute control over the city of Rome and its affairs. He used his power to institute a series of proscriptions, a program of executing those perceived to be enemies of the state. Via his proscriptions, Saber was able to freely order the deaths of anyone he pleased without pause or delay, his justice absolute. For month upon month, Rome was drowned in a torrent of blood. Though the primary targets of his proscriptions were nobles and senators, no one was spared from what he had deemed necessary. To help or shelter a proscribed person was punishable by death, to inform on a proscribed person was to be rewarded, and to kill a proscribed person was to be rewarded with part of their estate. The cities of Italy became theaters of execution. Madness consumed the populace. Husbands were butchered by their own wives and sons were murdered by their own mothers. Victims were executed via beheading, their bodies mutilated and thrown into the Tiber. While these proscriptions were used to eliminate political enemies both potential and real that was not their primary purpose. First, foremost, and perhaps most callously of all, they were used for economic gain. The property of those killed became wealth to fill the Roman Treasury, to defray the costs of the wars of the past decade. The blood of thousands dead was used merely to enrich Saber, to enrich the Republic that he ruled over.

    Saber’s Noble Phantasm is the crystallization of the atrocities of proscription that he committed for what he perceived as the greater good, taking form as an ornate blade not dissimilar in appearance to those used to behead the hapless victims of proscription. It could be called a cursed sword, one formed by the bloody deaths of thousands, and though it is not on par with true holy or demonic swords, it can hold its own in battle quite well. The sword itself also possesses a slight bonus against those who were executed in life, though the effect is not strongly pronounced. However, its true function as a Noble Phantasm is far more insidious. Once activated via chant, the blade is swathed in an aura of cursed energy. When it wounds anyone in this state, whether they be Servant or human, a LCK check is performed. If passed, nothing greater will occur than the initial wound. If the check is failed, whoever the blade has cut will be proscribed, a status with multiple connotations.

    First, those without mental resistance Skills will be compelled to prioritize the proscribed person as a target. This compulsion is more pronounced in those of a Lawful alignment, less pronounced on those of a Neutral Alignment, and often only barely pronounced on those of a Chaotic alignment. In regards to Masters and ordinary persons, the strength of the compulsion will vary depending on their mindset regarding jurisdiction. The longer a proscribed individual remains within their sight, the stronger the compulsion will grow regardless of its base level. Additionally, unless they too possess mental resistance, sufficient willpower, or a lack of a fear of death, those proscribed will begin to have their minds afflicted with fear, dulling their responses and past a certain point driving them towards irrational actions. This effect is far less pronounced in Servants, but it can be almost maddening for ordinary persons and weak willed Masters.

    Those who actively choose to ally with or help the proscribed will, over time, themselves become proscribed, the curse spreading like a virus. When a proscribed person is killed, compensation is granted to all who participated. If a Master is killed, their Command Seals will be divided among the Masters of those who killed them. If a Servant is killed, a temporary boost in parameters is granted. If an ordinary person is killed, it is the equivalent of their soul being consumed. Regardless of who does the killing, at least a portion of the allotted reward will be granted to Saber. In this way, even while not personally participating, Saber can amass power for himself and his Master and foster cooperation with who would otherwise be enemies.

    However, there are multiple drawbacks to this Noble Phantasm. If Saber’s sword is broken or Saber himself is killed, the proscription status will be removed from all afflicted persons. In proscribing, he makes himself a prime target. Additionally, the mana consumption of this Noble Phantasm increases for every further individual proscribed, especially if they are Servants. If things spread too far, Saber will be forced to wholly deactivate this Noble Phantasm to avoid burnout; he cannot selectively lift proscriptions. This Noble Phantasm also is only effective on those that can be considered human. Gods, demons, and monsters cannot be proscribed or compelled by proscribed persons, because they are beyond human jurisdiction.

    Saber's Noble Phantasm is powerful, but it is not omnipotent and must be used with restraint and tactically in order to take full advantage of its abilities.


    Background
    Saber’s True Name is Lucius Cornelius Sulla Felix, the dictator whose actions brought about the beginning of the end for the Roman Republic and ultimately led to the birth of the Roman Empire.

    Sulla was born into a patrician family, but one that had fallen from grace by the time of his birth due to the actions of his ancestors. He was left no choice but to grow up in poverty, the status that was rightfully his denied to him. He lost his father when he was merely a teen and was forced to cope for himself and develop an independent streak, in addition to a penchant for a hedonism and debauchery from the company he spent time with on the streets. This upbringing also granted him an understanding of the average Roman citizen that would benefit him greatly in the future. Through his painstaking efforts, he managed to receive a good education and lift himself onto the ladder of Roman politics, one that he would rapidly ascend.

    Under the command of Gaius Marius, he first tasted victory in the war against King Jugartha of the Numidians, a war he won in one fell swoop by capturing the enemy leader. Finally tasting the glory and power that he had been denied as his birthright, he became well known for his unshakable confidence and boastfulness. He would go on to win further victories under Marius against the Cimbri and yet other foes, victories that inspired resentment in Marius that would play a part later in life.

    Leaving the battlefield for a time, Sulla would enter service as a Roman praetor, using his funds to lavish the people under him in delights and opening diplomatic intercourse with the Parthians. It was during his time in his life that he was told by a Chaldean seer that he would die at the height of fame and fortune, a prophecy that Sulla would remember for the rest of his life. Sulla would go on to obtain glory in the Social War against Italian uprisings, attaining the position of consul.

    Though he was chosen to lead the battle against Mithrades of Greece for his accomplishments, Sulla would be stymied by his old commander Marius, who plotted with the tribune at time to take the command. Sulla led his army of Social War veterans into Rome itself, an unprecedented act under the auspices of defending tradition, and won his first civil war, striking down the tribune and forcing Marius to flee.

    Sulla would then go on to lead the war against Mithrades, winning victory after victory and rapidly gaining power and influence. He defined himself as a leader that had the absolute confidence of his troops, and he in turned allowed them to indulge themselves and plunder to their heart’s content.

    In his absence, the party of his old enemy Marius arose to power and declared him a public enemy, but Sulla’s rise would not be stopped. He marched into Rome at the head of an army once more, crushing those who opposed him and gaining the popular support of many with ease.

    With the civil war concluded, Sulla was now at the top of the Roman Republic, and under Valerian law revived the office of dictator, giving him absolute power, with no term limit.

    He made use of his power to institute the proscriptions, slaughtering countless Romans in a torrent of blood and madness, an atrocity and reign of terror without precedent in the Republic. He used these means to strengthen the Republic and make it wealthy again, passing reforms to improve the power of the Senate.

    To the surprise of many, after he was satisfied with what he had wrought, he resigned from the dictatorship he could have stayed in indefinitely, retiring to his family and dying peacefully shortly thereafter.

    His monument bore an inscription written by himself, to the effect that he had always fully repaid the kindnesses of his friends and the wrongs done him by his enemies.

    Character
    Likes: Comedians
    Dislikes: Roman Empire
    Talent: Bad jokes
    Natural Enemy: Gaius Julius Caesar
    Summoned as a Servant, Sulla is a study in contradictions. At first, he seems a cheerful, jovial, boastful, and supremely confident man. He is charming and approachable, able to joke and cavort with anyone regardless of where they are from and what their status is, with a strong interest in both the same and opposite sexes. He holds a great interest in actors, actresses, musicians, comedians, and dancers, gleefully indulging himself in the popular culture of whatever era he finds himself in without reserve. He is more than happy to proudly brag of his military accomplishments, of his charms and his fortune. Despite his ego however, he is not the type to arrogantly put down people; he has great interest in and regard for the achievements of others as well. Furthermore, this is not merely some shallow facade. He is quite genuine about what he enjoys in life, and quite genuine in his boisterous camaraderie. If you treat him well, he will treat you well. If you regard him as a friend, he too will regard you as a friend. While his devotion is not such that he will gladly lay down his life for an ally, he is always sure to reciprocate any loyalty or regard given to him. He is more than happy to help his allies to the best of ability, without being given anything in return save for their continued friendliness with him.

    At the same time however, Sulla is utterly ruthless, completely devoid of mercy or remorse for those against him. To crush his enemy or accomplish his goals, he will resort to near any means possible. He will with utter coldness strike down any who wrongs him or those he considers his friends. It is written that in life at the slightest pretext he might have a man crucified, but on another occasion would make light of the most appalling crimes, that he might happily forgive the most unpardonable offenses and then punish trivial, insignificant misdemeanors with death and confiscation of property. There is not the slightest compassion reserved for those that get in his way, and he even at times takes a sadistic gleeful pleasure in bringing an enemy to his knees in despair, in slaughtering those who would not be firmly with him.

    Both sides of him coexist without contradiction, the affable seeker of pleasure and the ruthless tyrant. He gives forth kindness and cruelty in equal measure. From the beginning, he loved the world that offered him such delights, that gave him friends and family, and hated the world that denied him what was rightfully his, that looked down upon him and wronged him. Both are equal parts of his humanity, and though he is aware of his distortion, he does not mind it. In directing his cruel nature towards both his own interests and the interests of the Republic, towards the greater good, he feels as if he can live without regrets. Ever did he justify the evils he so delighted in with the traditions and principles of the Rome he so loved. To that end he became a tyrant; his calculating and sane side sought to be an evil so great no evil would ever rule Rome again, and his vengeful and cruel side sought unmitigated delight in crushing his enemies like bugs.

    To this end, he abandoned the power he could have had forever once he had drunk his fill, once he had accomplished what he felt was necessary. He had become a temporary dictator to bring an end to dictators, and with no regrets, content that the evil within him had ensured there would not be evil again, he retired to a quiet happy life. He could not have foreseen that his actions would pave the way for Caesar to take control, that his reforms would be abolished. That is his sole regret, one that ever consumes and gnaws at him, one that has driven him to hatred of the Roman Empire that spited him with its very existence. No longer able to justify the actions he took, yet still having enjoyed them, part of his hatred began to be directed inwards.

    His regret does not show on the surface, whether in his kindness or his cruelty. He lives life as he always had, both sides of him coexisting as one whole. This was the path he had walked on from the beginning, and he does not know how to escape it. Yet, still it eats away at him, his failure to save the Republic that he loved and hated in equal measure. Though he will not admit it, his wish is a simple one. If he had never been born to taint the world with his vengeance, then the Republic would yet exist. After all, without his actions having greater meaning… he is nothing more than a monster that doesn’t deserve to live.

    Relationships
    Gaius Julius Caesar
    The young upstart that slipped through Saber's grasp, something that Saber had predicted even in life would cause untold trouble. While he truly loathes all the emperors that would follow in the path Caesar paved, there is nobody he hates more than Caesar himself. Caesar is his greatest regret, and surely someone he regards as his greatest enemy. Saber is incapable of acting with even the slightest veneer of civility around him, and will relentlessly mock and insult him, especially his appearance summoned under Saber. If given the opportunity, there is surely nothing Saber would like better than to kill Caesar very slowly and very painfully for what he has wrought.

    Roman Emperors
    The tyrants who followed him, making use of the precedent he had inadvertently set. Saber bears nothing but venomous hatred for each and every one of them, and refuses to regard them as true rulers or true Romans. With a certain hypocrisy, he will decry their tyranny and hedonism at every opportunity.

    Mephistopheles
    A most amusing jester indeed. The murder and betrayal only makes their performance all the more exhilarating. Saber's sanity has been questioned even by the clown in question in this regard.

    Cu Chulainn
    ... That is some profoundly bad luck. How very pitiful indeed.

    Romulus
    The esteemed divine founder. Saber views him with reverence and awe, but cannot help but to question his fondness for the depraved rulers of the Roman Empire. This has not diminished his respect, but it has made for some awkward silences.

    Bond CE
    Fortune's Epitaph
    I lived a fortunate life indeed.
    Luck seemed to follow me at every turn.
    I accomplished everything I desired.
    My friends were repaid in full.
    My enemies were repaid in full.
    It was a life with no regrets.
    Providence smiled upon me to the very end.
    That was what I once believed.
    ... Life really is far too much of a comedy.
    One entertaining enough to make a man weep with laughter.




    Author's Remarks
    Nothing much to say here. This is a mild rewrite of a sheet I originally posted quite some time ago in the original Create-A-Servant thread. A decent amount has changed, and a decent amount has stayed the same. Parameters have certainly been tweaked a lot.
    Addendum: well shit it wasn't the original I posted it in this one 300 pages back what do I do now
    Last edited by ScarfDyedShadow; July 24th, 2018 at 05:53 PM.

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