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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #13401
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Personally I think Freud would be the most interesting to see written up a Servant. If only because his field of study was a lot more esoteric than the other two's, so there's more room for Nasu-style conceptual wank. (Actually someone I'd really like to see in the Nasuverse is Carl Jung, with his research into the Collective Unconscious giving him some kind of connection to Alaya, but that's another story entirely).
    Innocent Monster turns Freud into a sex freak

  2. #13402
    吸血鬼 Vampire Bugs's Avatar
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    Incubus Freud

    Go crazy

  3. #13403
    Dimensional Boundary Contact Prime Field Device No. 1, Alpha Lambda-Nu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Innocent Monster turns Freud into a sex freak
    Quote Originally Posted by Bugs View Post
    Incubus Freud

    Go crazy
    Well, that would certainly be an...amusing scenario.
    Last edited by Lambda-Nu; September 26th, 2018 at 01:41 PM.

  4. #13404
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lambda-Nu View Post
    Well, that would certainly be an...amusing scenario.
    Imagine a Holy Grail War with Medb, Fergus, Kiara, Kiyohime, mama Raikou and Freud

  5. #13405
    Dimensional Boundary Contact Prime Field Device No. 1, Alpha Lambda-Nu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Imagine a Holy Grail War with Medb, Fergus, Kiara, Kiyohime, mama Raikou and Freud
    Dear God, that would be NSFW beyond all belief.

  6. #13406
    吸血鬼 Vampire massive_jojo_reference's Avatar
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    The founding of the vaccine is not something that should be attributed to me, instead it is human willpower and spirit which did it, for that reason, to protect that good and altruistic humanity i have joined you in the fight to protect human orders.
    Faceclaim

    Class: Caster
    True Name: Edward Jenner
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Origin: Britain
    Natural Enemy: Thomas Edison

    H/W: 173cm/55kg
    Likes: Not being bothered while resting
    Dislikes: People looking to profit from diseases
    Talent: Extensive knowledge of human anatomy, cutting things up
    Wish: To completely eradicate every disease known and unknown to man

    STR: E
    END: E
    AGI: C
    MNA: B+
    LCK: A+
    NP: EX

    Class Skills
    Territory Creation: B+
    The creation of Laboratory becomes possible, a superior and enhanced version of a workshop.

    Item Construction: B+
    Caster can create a multitude of equipment used for medicine, if he so wishes, he can recreated a whole set of equipment used for surgery.


    Personal Skills
    Human Anatomy Understanding: B
    Caster's ability to understands the inner and outer workings of a human body is like breathing for him, if he targets the enemy's vitals, damage is increased and when he is being targeted damage is decreased. furthermore all healing done by him is increased as well.

    Pioneer of the stars: EX
    The one who advanced the human order and humanity, detrimental to its continued existence on this earth, and those who have advanced its level and became turning points in human history Caster is the one who revealed the secrets of diseases on this earth, for a long time disease was something that humans couldn't cure, its greatest enemy, but the vaccine allowed humanity to prevent and eradicate diseases which contributed the whole humanity.

    Affection of Humanity: A++
    Given to those who in time they were alive and beyond have become the object of praise for humanity,
    Caster's invention- the vaccine has by now saved at least a billion people, and continues to be one of the corner stones of the modern humanity. this skill allows him to reject and deal more damage to existences that are outside of humanity, from Demons to Demigods, to gods and alien entities, all of them are susceptible to this skill, and the damage dealt scales with the inhumanity of the target.


    Noble Phantasm
    Cornerstone of humanity-The end of all diseases
    Magnum Opus-Ultimate Cure
    (EX) (Anti-Concept/Anti-Evil)

    The ultimate dream of the man known as Edward Jenner- the substance, or a set of substances that would prevent, or outright cure any disease that afflicts humanity, the ultimate cure.
    the unreachable dream of the humanity, something which would prevent and cure diseases, Edward Jenner, the man whose invention would contribute to reach this unreachable goal.
    furthermore it is a noble phantasm that is the final dream, the final dream of every individual human, a ultimate cure which would end all diseases.

    It manifests as a ball of light and pure white fire that symbolizes the result humanity can achieve when working together, whatever this ball of fire touches will be free of corruption that interrupt the human system, non-organic objects are freed from corruption as well. Under corruption are things such as parasites, diseases, curses mental states such as depression, and anything which would bring mental or physical harm to human being, including people whose very nature is evil, even that someone "evil" is to be touched by this ball, he wouldn't be cured but his pain would instead intensify and his condition would worsen

    the flames this ball are also special, being pure white in color, touching them doesn't cause a burn instead they give of a warm light of pure compassion which would calm any man. they however begin burning violently when touched by a someone "evil" turning black-dark red and engulfing the targets body on fire, their soul is burned away.

    the ball lasts for as long as mana is is provided, when it runs out of mana it explodes into a ball of flames and spreads its effects in a 50 kilometer radius. not causing any damage and curing everything, but still burning away all the evil it encounters.

    the biggest weakness of this noble phantasm is its quite abnormal, outright insane mana cost. any average magus master would have their magic circuits outright explode even a high level master would suffer immense pain from trying to fuel this noble phantasm, so caster relies on other methods to get it activated, such as plugging himself directly into a local ley-line.


    Personality/CE/ETC
    Smallpox vial of humans
    a vial containing a sample of the smallpox virus, a very deadly virus which was prevented by Edward Jenner.
    it holds importance to humanity due to the nature of what it brought about, vaccines.
    disease is what cures disease, ironic isn't it?

    Absolute altruism, unquestionable good intentions, and an aura of a professional who doesn't slip up in his work. such is the nature of caster, a man who saw human suffering for too long, each human he saw suffering was like he himself was suffering an aura that inspires hope, determination and most of all, altruism in other people, however he himself never considered himself a hero or a savior, only a humble doctor who likes immersing himself in work, needless to say, words are not enough to describe his strong unconditional love for every human being on this earth and his dedication to medicine.

    that is to say, he is not in any way a naive idealist, he bears a strong sense of justice and hates people who would use an invention that could help humanity for a mere personal gain, to him these people are his ultimate enemy, seen as he himself did not patent his vaccine design and allowed anyone to use, from the rich to the poor.
    he likes conversing with others of his kind, those with the pioneer of the stars skill and other scientists who are detrimental to humanity. he likes intellectual, most of all he hates evil heroic spirits whose malice has consumed them, and those who are naturally evil.

    a ultimate beacon of altruism, a hero and a savior who denies he is those things due to his own humility, truly, by very definition of the word A Heroic Spirit.

    Reactions:
    Florence Nightingale: We have much in common miss nightingale, our love of human life surpasses our own needs and wants- Hold up are you listening to me or are you just ignoring me?!

    Thomas Edison: If it isn't the king of lawsuits, get lost. Go profit off of stolen inventions somewhere else.

    Nikola Tesla: A fellow inventor... stealing lighting from Zeus, Just as Prometheus stole fire? In that case it would seem like i stole The art of healing from Apollo. *chuckles*


    Notes
    This dude came into my view long ago, i tried to go for someone whose intentions are completely aligned with interests of entire of humanity. not really my best sheet but i as is always the case i gave it my best of writing abilities. although i still prefer to do mythological heroes.
    Last edited by massive_jojo_reference; September 26th, 2018 at 04:35 PM.

  7. #13407
    Dimensional Boundary Contact Prime Field Device No. 1, Alpha Lambda-Nu's Avatar
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    Edward Jenner: Good sheet, but your capitalization needs work.

  8. #13408
    A Two-Named Thief Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Innocent Monster turns Freud into a sex freak
    All the more reason to summon him and beat him up for his creepy theories.
    Quest of Fate (Update: 17/11/2018)

    Hall of Hermes Praise

    Quote Originally Posted by Saron View Post
    It's official. Hermes is the old man hipster of CaS.
    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    ...Are you the protagonist of a YA novel? Perhaps an otome game?




  9. #13409
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Rider of the Civil War
    Faceclaim

    FC Link (edited)
    Servant Class: Rider
    Alternate Classes: Saber, Caster, Berserker
    True Name: Ulysses S. Grant
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Origin: America (19th century)
    Armament: Sabre, pistol, rifle

    Parameters:
    STR: D+
    END: C
    AGI: D
    MANA: E
    LUCK: C~A
    NP: B

    Skills
    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance - Rank -: Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether.
    Because he is a modern Heroic Spirit, he has no resistance to magic.

    Riding - Rank A+: A Class Skill of Rider and Saber class Servants, denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. Rider-class Servants will typically possess a high rank. It is said that dragon type mounts are an exception, requiring a different ability other than Riding.
    All vehicles and all creatures up to the level of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast can be used as mounts. However, that does not apply to members of the Dragon Kind.
    Heralded as the most proficient horseman of his academy, Rider has thus been granted a correspondingly high rank in Riding.

    Personal Skills:

    Military Tactics - Rank B: Tactical knowledge used not for one-on-one combat situations, but for battles where many are mobilized. Bonus modifiers are provided during use of one's own Anti-Army Noble Phantasm or when dealing against an enemy Anti-Army Noble Phantasm.
    Due to an anecdote by his commanding officer, Riderís Military Tactics increases in efficiency while he is drunk. Even without this bonus, Rider is a brilliant commander, with several of his tactics having ended up in textbooks.

    Innocent Monster - Rank E: An attribute possessed by Servants whose true history and existence have been distorted by the monstrous reputations and gossips they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter, without concern for the actual person's will or appearance. As a consequence, the Servant's abilities and appearance have been rendered to conform to the specifications of their legend. Incidentally, this Personal Skill cannot be removed.
    Having had allegations of heavy drinking and alcoholism leveled at him throughout his life, and being known even today as a drunkard, some of Riderís Skills have been altered in accordance with his reputation. He is also almost perpetually drunk to some degree, and can amplify this state by consuming alcohol.

    Attrition Warfare - Rank C++: A Skill born of a military strategy consisting of wearing down an enemy until such a time that they are unable to continue fighting. The strategy has a reputation of usually wasting a multitude of lives to grind down an enemyís forces and will to fight. Attrition Warfare allows the owner to manifest troops with which to batter an enemyís defences. These troops are essentially low-ranking familiars created by application of Magical Energy in nature.
    By Riderís request, the rank of this Skill has been lowered, and its functionality has changed. By his reputation, the rank of this Skill would be A. Rather than create familiars to throw at his enemy, Rider can Ďgive of himselfí and shave away a little of his spiritual core to manifest his troops. As these troops are empowered by Riderís Saint Graph, they are far more effective than the ordinary familiars created by this Skill would be. Naturally, Rider himself will suffer damage as he uses Attrition Warfare, and even his Saint Graph will eventually begin to degrade. However, he accepts this consequence as the price he must pay for such tactics.

    Battle Continuation (Drunk) - Rank B+: A variation of the Skill Battle Continuation. Rather than allowing one to sustain combat even with mortal wounds, it allows the user to shrug off wounds as they come, acting as a sort of damage reduction. However, this Skill is only in effect while the user is drunk, and only acts a buffer towards damage for the duration of the userís inebriation.
    For Rider, the Skill is constantly in effect thanks to his Innocent Monster Skill. At rank B, the severity of damage he receives is reduced to roughly half of the incoming amount. In addition to this, he also receives a minor boost to the damage he deals. By actively consuming alcohol, Rider can heal some of the damage blocked by Battle Continuation (Drunk).

    Noble Phantasms

    There is No Path of Retreat
    With Malice Toward None

    Anti-Army, Rank B
    A Noble Phantasm born of Riderís most masterful act during the American Civil War. With Malice Toward None is a tactic capitalizing on pursuing a retreating enemy. Once an enemy has retreated from battle, Rider can activate his Noble Phantasm, the first effect of which is to block the ability of a Servant to enter spiritual form and to prevent most forms of supernatural escape from being used.
    As the enemy is forced to withdraw through mundane methods, Rider is free to pursue them. In addition to the superior land speed that the Rider class specializes in, With Malice Towards None also invokes the spirits of the commanders who served under Rider during the Civil War. Though they are mostly Wraiths and Phantoms, Rider can use them to manifest in several different places and to transport himself over great distances so as to block paths of retreat or effectively harry several groups of enemies. As Rider continues to block the enemyís paths of retreat, the target of the Noble Phantasm will receive cumulative penalties to their parameters and their store of available Magical Energy will be continually sapped. Eventually, an enemy will be weakened enough to be forced to surrender or face certain defeat at Riderís hands.
    With Malice Towards None, thanks to its effect of summoning Riderís officers, also provides him with advanced scouting, especially through the spirit of the other architect this tactic, Philip Sheridan. Sheridanís spirit cannot be manifested completely, being a full Heroic Spirit himself, but he provides Rider with a form of Clairvoyance over the battlefield, allowing Rider to pursue his targets more effectively.
    Though With Malice Towards None is a very powerful Noble Phantasm, its primary weakness comes in the form of its prerequisite: the retreat of the enemy. Rider is not a particularly powerful Heroic Spirit when it comes to personal combat, but his abilities allow him to pressure an enemy by way of attrition, allowing for the Noble Phantasmís activation. There are also other ways to its usage, such as allying with stronger Servants or craven methods initiating pursuit of an enemy forced to retreat by another.

    Description
    Likes: Mathematics, alcohol
    Dislikes: Casualties, alcohol
    Talents: Horsemanship, tactics
    Natural Enemy: Robert E. Lee, Shuten-Douji

    Riderís true identity is Ulysses S. Grant, also known as ďUnconditional SurrenderĒ Grant.

    Hailed as a hero of the American Civil War, Grant is haunted by what he had to do in order to win the war. Unlike many other heroes, Grant seems a beaten, broken man. His unwarranted reputation as a drunkard plagues him even as a Servant, but Grant actually welcomes his current state, wishing to dull the memories of what he has experienced.
    Despite the sorry state he manifests in, Grant still holds true to his core, that which allowed him to ascend to the rank of a Heroic Spirit. He is brave, loyal and possesses a brilliance in several fields nigh-unmatched during his life. The most famous of these fields being warfare, the mastery of which he is at odds about. Grant is torn between his perceived failures as well as his reputation as a military genius.
    Grantís relationship with other Servants is very like that of a soldier. He respects bravery and heroism, and does not particularly care for the origin of any particular Heroic Spirit. Overly boisterous or warlike Servants are not to his liking, however, owing to his personal views and character. He has personal connections to few individuals, among them Abraham Lincoln, who Grant viewed as the greatest man to ever live, as well as Robert E. Lee, his chief enemy during the Civil War, who he is respectful but otherwise ambivalent towards. Grant would also likely enjoy the company of other Servants as interested in horsemanship as he is.
    Though he might not seem much, Grant follows his Master loyally. When serving an unjust Master, Grant would have his misgivings, but would not voice them. He feels that the approach he took to command works best, and would not try to influence his Masterís decisions in any case. When asked, he would likely offer advice, but Grant will always leave the final decisions to his Master.
    Due to his appearance, attitude and perpetual drunkenness, both Grantís Master and his enemies are liable to underestimate the man. Though Grant is merely competent in the field of personal combat, his abilities grant him enough methods to overcome most foes in a Holy Grail War.
    Grantís wish is to undo the deaths caused by the American Civil War, though his methodology would be to remove the cause of the war rather than to directly affect the war itself. How this could be achieved peacefully, he does not know.

    Grantís mount as a Rider is the most famous of his horses, Cincinnati.

    Lore
    Hiram Ulysses Grant earned the name Ulysses S. Grant when it was incorrectly used for his nomination into the United States Military Academy at West Point. He adopted it and was known to classmates as ďUncle Sam.Ē Grant graduated from West Point in 1843 and later joined the ranks of West Point graduates who fought during the American Civil War.
    When the American Civil War broke out, Grant raised a volunteer company and accepted an appointment to train military troops. He served primarily in the western theatre until the Vicksburg Campaign.
    The Union realized the importance of taking control of the Mississippi River. Admiral David Farragut had managed to defeat every obstacle from the Gulf of Mexico to Memphis except Vicksburg. Grant put the city under a siege that lasted until July 4, 1863. With the surrender of Vicksburg, the Union gained complete control of the Mississippi River.
    The day before the surrender, Robert E Lee had been defeated in the bloodiest conflict of the war at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.
    Abraham Lincoln, as the president of the United States, recognized Grant as the general he had been searching for who could end the war. Grant planned the Overland Campaign that led to victory for the North and the fall of the Confederacy. While Grant pushed Lee back toward Petersburg, Philip Sheridan ravaged the Shenandoah Valley, and William T. Sherman pushed across Georgia with the help of George Thomas and his crew of engineers. After Leeís surrender at Appomattox on April 9, 1865, his fellow Confederate generals surrendered one by one.
    Grant later embarked on a political career that carried him to presidency, but his term is viewed as far from successful.

    Notes
    This sheet pretty much started from a (possibly apocryphal) claim by Lincoln noting that Grant had a peculiar form of alcoholism that made him a better field commander.
    I decided to scrap (or rather relegate them to other classes) many of my original ideas for his Personal Skills such as bravery, stuff born of his academical brilliance etc., in part due to his Innocent Monster. Grant as a Rider is kinda balancing on his drunk reputation as well as his status as a brilliant general.
    The NPís name is based on a quote from a speech of Lincolnís at the end of the Civil War as well as Grantís personality.

  10. #13410
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SirGauoftheSquareTable's Avatar
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    Wonderful sheet of one of my favorite figures of the Civil War, and I think you got quite a bit of what defined Grant during that war, if not after.

  11. #13411
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34 View Post
    On this note, how do you more prolific sheet creators even find time to churn out that many sheets? Especially Shiki-pon, like seriously dude that's amazing.
    The secret ingredient is boredom. Also I like statting up Servants (not so much the personality-writing/inventing bits).

    Quote Originally Posted by SirGauoftheSquareTable View Post
    Wonderful sheet of one of my favorite figures of the Civil War, and I think you got quite a bit of what defined Grant during that war, if not after.
    Yes, that was rather what I was going for. Glad to see that that's the impression the end result gives too. Servant Classes are a neat way of dividing the Servant's legend into aspects of themselves, and I figured that Grant as a Rider would be most characterized by his military days.

  12. #13412
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    That Grant sheet is cool, but isn't his rank in Riding a tad too high? I can't really see a modern hero like Grant riding Phantasmal or Divine Beasts. In my opinion just A would've been enough.

  13. #13413
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Yeah, I thought that too. I just operate on the principle that with things (parameters, skills) dealing with quantifiable abilities, A+ represents the top of one's mythos/era. Since Grant was said to be among the best horsemen of his era, his Riding would probably be around A to begin with, and since being a Rider usually boosts that to some extent...
    I dunno, I figured it was between A and A+ too and just ended up taking A+ in the end. It does look weird for a modern Heroic Spirit, but even A would let you ride Phantasmal Beasts (which aren't exactly common), so...

  14. #13414
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    I dunno, I figured it was between A and A+ too and just ended up taking A+ in the end. It does look weird for a modern Heroic Spirit, but even A would let you ride Phantasmal Beasts (which aren't exactly common), so...
    Actually the description for Riding- A specifically excludes Phantasmal Beasts as well as Divine ones. But your justification is fair enough, even if I wouldn't personally agree with it.

  15. #13415
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Berserker of Dark Eyes

    FC Link
    Servant Class: Berserker
    Alternate Classes: Assassin
    True Name: Amok
    Alignment: Chaotic Evil
    Origin: Malaysian Folklore
    Armament: Kris

    Parameters:
    STR: -
    END: -
    AGI: -
    MANA: C
    LUCK: B
    NP: C

    Skills
    Class Skills:

    Mad Enhancement - Rank B: The Class Skill that characterizes a Berserker, raising basic parameters and strengthens one's physical abilities in exchange of hindering mental capacities and/or in exchange for their sense of reason.
    Rank up for all parameters, but takes away most of sanity. Oddly, Berserkerís approach is quite methodical despite the loss of sanity.

    Personal Skills:

    Darkened Eyes - Rank B: The name of a cultural phenomenon based around Berserkerís manifestations. It is a Skill concerning the buildup of frustration, rage and temptation until a person can take no more and lashes out.
    Once the pressure of emotion builds up high enough, the target will receive an explosive boost to their physical parameters. This boost can take an ordinary human up to the level of weaker Servants.

    Powerless Shell - Rank A: A Skill that makes the user difficult to perceive as a Servant, declining one's parameters and suppresses one's Skills.
    Normally, Berserker cannot be perceived at all, except by the target he is bound to.

    Possessor - Rank A-: The ability to enter the bodies of others and exert control over them, manifested as a Skill. The degree and manner of control varies between different possessors and ranks of the Skill. In some cases, even inanimate objects can be possessed.
    For Berserker, possession of humans is possible, and once completed, almost unnoticeable. Though Berserker can control its victims, it chooses instead to let them lash out by themselves through its Skill, Darkened Eyes. A victim possessed by Berserker can be brought onto the level of Servants once Berserker chooses to grant them his power. However, Berserker cannot willingly break the possession unless the victim does by their own hand.

    Noble Phantasm

    Running Amok
    Hantu Belian

    Anti-Unit (Self), Rank C
    An automatically activated Noble Phantasm, born of the cultural phenomenon that Berserker represents. Believed by the people of Malaysia to be caused by an evil tiger spirit entering a host body and forcing them to go on a rampage, Hantu Belian is activated once Berserkerís Darkened Eyes brings a victim to their limit.
    When the host succumbs, Berserkerís Mad Enhancement kicks into full force, forcing the victim of its possession to start heedlessly attacking everything living nearby. At this point, Berserkerís other Skills will also take effect, revealing its presence as a Servant to others and strengthening the victimís body to the point of being able to match most other Servants in battle. Hantu Belian also manifests a kris for the target to use, unless they have already acquired a more suitable weapon.
    Once Hantu Belianís rampage has run its course, in essence once the victimís body begins to break apart or once there are no more targets to be attacked, Berserker will command the target to kill themselves, releasing Berserker to possess another. Usually, the only opportunity for an enemy to defeat Berserker is during the effect of Hantu Belian.

    Description
    Likes: Bloodshed, wearing down defenses
    Dislikes: Peace, tranquility
    Talents: Rampaging, possession
    Natural Enemy: N/A

    Berserkerís true identity is the cultural phenomenon of running amok, manifesting as the Heroic Spirit Amok.

    Amok is a creature without form, existing only to possess others and cause bloodshed. Thanks to Mad Enhancement, mutual understanding and even communication is rendered impossible.
    The entity shows its true nature only to those it possesses. Seeming to take a sadistic pleasure in driving others to the brink of madness, Amok will show them visions and illusions to slowly build them up into murderous rage. Victims can hear the entityís voice as it is possessing them.
    It can prove difficult for a Master to control Amok, as the only thing preventing Amok from possessing them is its understanding that a supply of Magical Energy is necessary for its continued existence.

    Lore
    Amok originated from the Malaysian word meng-‚muk, which when roughly defined means "to make a furious and desperate charge". According to Malaysian and Indonesian cultures, amok was rooted in a deep spiritual belief. They believed that amok was caused by the hantu belian, which was an evil tiger spirit that entered oneís body and caused the heinous act. As a result of the belief, those in Indonesian culture tolerated amok and dealt with the after-effects with no ill will towards the assailant.
    In a typical case of running amok, an individual (often male), having shown no previous sign of anger or any inclination to violence, will acquire a weapon (traditionally a sword or dagger, but presently any of a variety of weapons) and in a sudden frenzy, will attempt to kill or seriously injure anyone he encounters and himself. Amok typically takes place in a well populated or crowded area. Amok episodes of this kind normally end with the attacker being killed by bystanders or committing suicide, eliciting theories that amok may be a form of intentional suicide in cultures where suicide is heavily stigmatized. Those who do not commit suicide and are not killed typically lose consciousness, and upon regaining consciousness, claim amnesia.

    Notes
    A quickie, and though the end result ended up a little boring, I guess it's good enough.

  16. #13416
    complexity Spartacus's Avatar
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    Possessor is cool, but it can't hijack Servant right? Because that would be NP tier, me think.

    Click the image to ConQUEST

    Quote Originally Posted by A Certain Redditor
    At least during that long hiatus when we thought Index III was a pipe dream, we could still have hope. Hope for another good season to eventually one day come. Now we've just got... shattered dreams.

  17. #13417
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacus View Post
    Possessor is cool, but it can't hijack Servant right? Because that would be NP tier, me think.
    Yeah, no spirits of any kind allowed. I suppose he might be able to do it when boosted with a Command Seal, but not under ordinary circumstances. Breaking a Servant's will would also prove difficult.

  18. #13418
    死徒 Dead Apostle Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    Yeah, no spirits of any kind allowed. I suppose he might be able to do it when boosted with a Command Seal, but not under ordinary circumstances. Breaking a Servant's will would also prove difficult.
    ?
    what would be the noblephantasm of Grant as Saber or Caster actually ?
    ps:have you seen my Fenris Shiki ? if yes please give me a Feedback that would be nice ,thanks
    Last edited by Kabalisto Koga; September 27th, 2018 at 03:32 PM.
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  19. #13419
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    apropo i know ist not a certain personality but you could wright a behavior section thre,like how would it act towards ist Master ?
    and what would be the noblephantasm of Grant as Saber or Caster actually ?
    ps:have you seen my Fenris Shiki ? if yes please give me a Feedback that would be nice ,thanks
    Amok doesn't really have a 'behavior towards Master' section, since its behavior towards them is much the same as its behavior towards everything else with a pulse.

    As for Grant, uhhh... Saber would probably have some patriotism-thing, since that was largely based off of the facts that he A) had a bling-y sword, B) assumedly knew how to swing it and C) his first initials spell out U.S., and his nickname in his early days was "Uncle Sam" - In essence, he would be patriotism incarnate (or possessed by the spirit of it).
    Caster would be based on his career as president, diplomat and author. Probably wouldn't be summed up by his NP, though that would probably have something to with the aforementioned categories.

    And since you asked...
    Caution: unedited content
    First off, I might note that Fenrir is one my favorites when it comes to Norse Mythology. Though that is no excuse for what I'm about to say, it is an explanation.

    The faceclaim is terrible, given that the web is full of better images. You could at least hide under a Spoiler tag, given that you clearly know how to use them.
    One of his names being the father of werewolves doesn't make a lick of sense given that Fenrir was a wolf in the mythos, period. The werewolf legend is also more commonly associated with Southern Europe and the areas surrounding it, so I don't see what any of this has to do with Fenrir. Though as noted below, there were some Germanic werewolf legends.
    Parameter-wise, I have no clue what you were going for here. EX Endurance is especially questionable, given that Fenrir got killed by Vidarr in RagnarŲk and eaten by Surtr in a Lostbelt (though the latter was a world-burning monstrosity).
    The background has nothing to do with Fenrir's. I would suggest finding some other character that fits into the idea you had even slightly.

    Everything relating to the atrocious background in the Skills section is just as bad as the lore. Especially notable is that Odin liked Fenrir, so cursing him would be kinda odd. Wouldn't be the oddest thing the Allfather ever did, but still.
    Why exactly does he have Self-Modification? I would assume some internal logic in the sheet, but aren't all the modifications dealing with him the work of someone else?
    Instinct's rank is waaay too high. I get why you think he should have it (a beast's instinct or something like that), but Animalistic Logic is far more appropriate for someone who's, you know, a beast.
    Why would a creature destined to aid in destroying the world (at least outside the fanfic of a background) have the blessing of Gaia? Also feels kinda uninspired. Too frolicky.

    I believe I've mentioned my opinion on sticking to languages actually related to the subject of the sheet when it comes to Noble Phantasm names. Or who knows, maybe even one language per Noble Phantasm name?
    Gleipnir is actually Norse, though its effect has nothing to do with the mythos (so at least its consistent with the rest of the sheet). Given that its supposed to be something binding Fenrir even in this atrocity of a sheet, I'd say it's remarkably bad at binding him. I would also suggest changing it from Anti-Bestiality to something else, given what that thing means. Or hey, maybe that's what it was really for.
    TheraintropiaTherianthropia Markesh has (apparently) Greek and Hindi in its name. Like Self-Modification, there's no real reason for this to be here. Even if Fenris was some sorta werewolf (which, once again, is more a Greek-related concept, at least at the era we're talking about - there were some werewolf legends with Germanic roots, but they don't relate to Fenrir), he'd probably get beaten to the punch by Lycaon and the Neuri tribe.
    Lunar Ecliptis has English and Dog Latin (which I guess is fitting in a way) in its name. As for its effect, whaddaya know, something that sorta relates to the mythology. As it happens, Fenrir did have children, though apparently actually named characters don't factor into this sheet. Said named children (SkŲll and Hati) did actually have connections to the Sun and Moon, though in fairness they were mostly chasing them. Unless this has something to do with them somehow gaining the celestial bodies' powers after eating them during RagnarŲk, I don't see why they'd have powers relating to them too. What makes even less sense is Fenrir being able to wield said powers at anything more than a minor level. There's also the fact that this Fenrir (even if his height doubles) is absurdly tiny. This NP is also the only part in the entire sheet that mentions Fenrir's Nasuverse canon ice powers.

    And furthermore, please try to spell things correctly. At least for me the forum actively tries to warn me if it thinks I'm spelling something incorrectly, so...
    Final rating, the sheet is an atrocity. Given that some of your prior works showed some promise, this is quite the step down.


    Edit: Hm. That came out less harsh than I thought it would.
    Last edited by Shiki-pon; September 27th, 2018 at 04:08 PM.

  20. #13420
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Crazy random thought: Ardhanarishvara as a Pseudo-Servant with Ryōgi Shiki as the host body
    Last edited by King of Padoru; September 27th, 2018 at 04:31 PM.

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