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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #14921
    The Great and Powerful Wizard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    If you're going to do the Seven Gods of Fortune, make sure that Benzaiten hates couples. It seems there's a park in Tokyo with a legend linked to her that says that the couples that ride on a rowing boat together will end breaking up because she's jealous of them
    Hm. Didn't know that, but it should work out with what I have planned for her. She's supposed to be next anyway. Thanks!

  2. #14922
    神秘 Obscure Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    FC Link
    Alternate Classes: Saber, Rider
    True Name: Garuda
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Origin: Hindu Mythology
    Armament: N/A

    Parameters:
    STR: A+
    END: A+
    AGI: A++
    MANA: B
    LUCK: A+
    NP: A+

    Skills
    Class Skills

    Magic Resistance - Rank A+: Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether.
    Cancel spells of A-Rank or below, no matter what High-Thaumaturgy it is. Against the magic of evildoers, Ruler boasts defenses that approach the level of immunity.

    God’s Resolution - Rank B: A Class Skill of the Ruler class and is the privilege of the Ruler presiding over the Holy Grail War; the right to use Command Spells against Servants, only given to Rulers.
    Two Command Spells can be used for each Servant participating in the Holy Grail War. Cannot re-purpose the Command Spells of others.

    True Name Discernment - Rank B: A Class Skill of the Ruler class where status information such as one's identity, Skills and Parameters are automatically revealed to the owner of this Skill when directly encountering a Servant.
    During a direct encounter, a Servant's true name and entire status information will be automatically revealed. In regards to Servants with concealment abilities, a Luck Check is required to bypass those abilities.

    Personal Skills

    Divinity - Rank C+: The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels, one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit, and the level declines when the Heroic Spirit's own rank as a Monster or Demonic Beast raises. It can also decrease due to one's dislike for the gods. Those who have A Rank Divinity or above have reached the Throne of Gods. It also has an effect which reduces special defensive values called 'purge defense' in proportion to the Divinity's Rank. It can break through Skills such as Protection of the Faith and Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig.
    Ruler himself has no divine heritage, but his association with the gods and ascension to the status of Vishnu’s vehicle have granted him some aptitude as a Divine Spirit.

    Sovereign of the Heavens - Rank EX: A Skill granted to those that rule over others from the heavens. This Skill grants the user an innate control over certain types of weather, similar to the effects of large scale Weather Magecraft. Certain abilities relying on the weather can also be negated. In addition to this, Sovereign of the Heavens provides resistance to wind and lightning effects, as they are products of the skies.
    As a creature of the skies, Ruler exhibits superiority over others that would claim the title of the skies’ ruler. In addition to the normal effects of this Skill, Skills and Noble Phantasms with connotations to the skies belonging to other Servants are treated as ranked down in Ruler’s presence.

    Greatest Among Birds - Rank A+: A unique Skill representing one’s status as the greatest of all skyfaring creatures. It represents the superiority of a creature belonging to the skies over those that are bound to the earth. As birds are a common symbol of rulership, the user is also granted the effects of Charisma.
    Ruler’s actions receive a plus modifier when the target is a creature that lacks the ability to fly. In addition, the damage of Ruler’s attacks is increased when he is attacking from above his target.

    Enemy of Serpents - Rank A: A compound Skill including the effects of Bravery, Dragon Slayer and Poison Resistance. Enemy of Serpents is a Skill belonging to one that battles evil serpents, both for their own sake as well as in the defense of others. In addition to the listed effects, the user deals extra damage against any creature of serpentine origin.
    Due to a boon granted by Vishnu, all serpents are Ruler’s ‘food’, existence so far below him that they only qualify as sustenance. As an added effect, damage dealt by Ruler towards targets with serpentine or draconic qualities is returned to Ruler in the form of magical energy.

    Noble Phantasms

    The Peerless One
    Suparna

    Anti-Unit (Self), Rank A+
    Suparna, the name given to the one of peerless wings, is a Noble Phantasm that represents Ruler’s nature as the unchallenged King of the Skies. As long as he soars in his domain, Ruler is close to invincible. No attack can bring him down from the skies against his will, and any incoming damage is reduced to a fraction of its original strength while he remains in flight.
    Rather than being a physical defense, Suparna functions as a conceptual shield that renders Ruler untouchable while he remains in his element. No matter the form or purpose of an incoming attack, its effects will be negated upon contact with Ruler’s body. The strength of his defense is such that even negative concepts that might apply to him are left without purchase, to the point that Ruler remains unaffected even by the power of Command Seals while in flight.
    However, once Ruler touches upon the ground, the effects of Suparna instantly cease. The act of landing in combat, therefore, represents Ruler’s acknowledgement of an opponent as someone worthy of facing him in an actual battle.

    Dharma Restoration Blow
    Dharm Bahaalee

    Anti-Evil, Rank A++
    The power granted by lord Vishnu, that is, the restoration of dharma. It is a function of Ruler’s status as a vehicle of Vishnu’s power, allowing him to channel the divine energies in order to destroy evil. By opening his spiritual core fully to the power of his lord, Ruler can draw upon nigh-on limitless reserves of energy, which he can then release in the form of an almighty strike.
    Upon entering Ruler’s body, the power of Vishnu is converted into incandescent flame, turning him into a light source rivaling the sun itself. Shaping the roiling power into a precise weapon, Ruler can unleash Dharm Bahaalee into the enemy from a close range. There, the attack will make its way to the core of a creature, and the purifying flame will reduce it to ashes in an instant. The overflowing energy will then burst outward, fully removing Ruler’s target from existence. As a weapon of purification, Dharm Bahaalee deals extra damage to evil targets, reaching the height of its power when used against an existence on the level of an Evil of Man.
    Theoretically, it is possible for Ruler to unleash Dharm Bahaalee’s power indiscriminately, unleashing untold destruction on his surroundings. The heat of a full-power release of Vishnu’s power would be enough to turn solid stone into gas in an instant and vaporize an area the size of a small city. However, not only would such a thoughtless use of Vishnu’s power be an insult to Ruler’s lord and master, drawing on such amounts of power would also cause severe damage to Ruler’s own spiritual core.



    Description
    Likes: His mother, impressive opponents
    Dislikes: Snakes, deception
    Talents: Confidence, indomitability
    Natural Enemy: Shesha

    Ruler’s true identity is Garuda, the King of the Skies.

    Appearing as a high-handed and arrogant being, Garuda nevertheless possesses a noble heart. His seemingly arrogant way of speaking and acting stems from his power and his position as the vehicle of Vishnu. In his own words, Garuda simply possesses self-confidence relative to the level of his ability.
    Garuda despises deception of all kinds, and strives to make things clear to the point of being overbearing. He is very verbose when speaking, and can inadvertently annoy others with his long-winded speeches. He also makes no secret of his identity or abilities, answering freely when questioned, even when speaking to his enemies.
    Due to his might, Garuda has no understanding of challenges, having never faced one in his life. However, he is curious to the possibility of facing one, having heard of the concept more than once. He also carries tremendous respect for any hero willing to face him. Garuda longs to face an opponent who might be able to face him at his full power.
    Owing to his perception of himself as a supreme being, Garuda acts quite disinterested in other beings, at least while they are not facing him in battle, though he intends no actual insult with his behaviour. Among Heroic Spirits, he would most likely get along well with great warriors, especially those like himself that seek impressive opponents. He has an intense hatred of snakes, which carries over to draconic beings as well.
    Garuda is a loyal Servant, though the only one he recognizes as his true Master is his lord Vishnu. He considers his servitude to a Master as being ‘on loan’ from his ordinary service, and does not particularly resent it, especially due to the possibility of finding worthy opponents. Garuda does not, however, take kindly to serving an evil person or being deceived, and is liable to turn against unjust Masters and liars with seemingly little provocation.
    As a Ruler, Garuda has no real wish to the Holy Grail. Though he would like to face a challenge, he does not truly understand the concept, and as such has no real yearning for it.

    Lore
    Vinata, the wife of Kashyapa, the great Vedic sage, once bore a winged son. He was none other than the King of birds, Garuda. Due to Vinata having once lost a bet to her sister and being forced to serve her sister’s children, the naga. The snakes would task Garuda with chores, and Vinata would ask her son to duly oblige. Garuda wondered why he had to bide by the orders of the snakes. He soon learnt that his mother was spending her life in servitude due to a lost wager.
    Wanting to set her free, Garuda went to the snakes and put forth his request. The snakes agreed to free his mother, provided Garuda fetched them a pot of divine nectar, Amrita, in return.
    Garuda then embarked on an adventurous quest. Over the course of his journey, he met and vanquished many evil beings. During this time, he also met his father Kashyapa who was then meditating in the woods and received his blessings.
    Later, he proceeded to claim the nectar of immortality from the celestials. A fierce battle ensued, where Garuda defeated Indra, Sadhyas, Gandharvas, Vasus, Rudras, Aswin twins and Yakshas. Garuda then doused a huge column of fire on his path, before entering the place where the Amrita was guarded. The nectar was guarded by a spinning wheel-like device intended to cut any intruder to pieces. Garuda assumed a miniature form and entered the device. He then came across two fiery snakes, whom he cut into pieces and successfully claimed the pot of elixir.

    Garuda, without consuming even a drop of nectar, rushed back to the abode of the Nagas. Observing his selfless act, Vishnu became appeased. He appeared before the bird and offered him a boon of his choice. Garuda asked for immortality and also an eternal position above the Lord in his flag. Vishnu agreed. Garuda too offered Vishnu a boon in return, and the Lord hence called for Garuda to become his vehicle. Garuda acquiesced, and subsequently took to the skies.
    Indra, observing Garuda flying with great speed, hurled his Vajra weapon towards the bird. Garuda, despite being struck with the weapon, smiled and told Indra in polite words, “O King of the Devas. I respect the rishi Dadichi from whose backbone this Vajra weapon was made; I respect you too. To honour this, I will shed a single feather. But know that I have not felt any pain due to this weapon”. Saying this Garuda dropped a single feather. Beholding this act and seeing the beautiful feather, all the creatures became excited, and Indra said, “Let this bird of beautiful feather be called ‘Suparna’, one of fair feathers”.
    Indra, realizing the bird’s greatness, sought Garuda’s friendship and asked him not to share the nectar with anyone. Garuda replied, “O King, I am taking this to my destination for a reason. Once I deliver this, you can swiftly come and take this away.”
    Indra agreed, and offered Garuda a boon. Remembering the deceitful acts of the snakes that led to his mother’s slavery, Garuda said, “Let the snakes become my food”. Indra said “So be it”.

    Upon reaching the destination, Garuda placed the nectar on the grass. He told the snakes to take their purifying bath and auspicious rites before consuming the nectar. He also asked them to liberate his mother, and the snakes agreed. When they stepped away for their bath, Indra swiftly took back the pot of nectar.
    The snakes came back and saw the pot missing. Thinking that drops of nectar may have come into contact with the grass, they started licking the grass. The sharpness of the blades of grass cut their tongues due to which the organ acquired a forked shape. In addition, due to the contact with Amrita, the kusa grass became sacred from that time.

    Notes
    Its and Indian Servant, so overpowerosity is expected. I still wonder if I went too far with Suparna...
    Last edited by Shiki-pon; June 17th, 2019 at 09:41 AM.

  3. #14923
    Leyak Queen 34's Avatar
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    Garuda: Oh boy, here's one of my favorite mythological creature (mostly because my nationality bias). First off, making Garuda a Ruler is an interesting choice; as you described in his 2nd NP, he is the symbol of God's (Vishnu) authority, so the class theme fits.

    Of course, while I overall like the character, I have my nitpicks. First, as a Ruler he doesn't really feel like one with all his abilities, even with Charisma, it doesn't really fit; moreover, Charisma is supposed to be a Skill for someone who ruled or led an actual army/nation, so I don't think Charisma fits him either. Also, as one of most awesome mythological birds, he lacks bird-themed abilities aside from his feather armor NP (which also kinda doesn't suit him). Bravery EX would be better off as a unique majestic bird themed Skill or something.

    With the first NP, straightforward invincibility is too generic. Garuda selling off Indra's Vajra with only shedding a single feather can alternatively be interpreted as him being resistant to the Authorities of the Sky God, denoting the Garuda as the true King of the Sky, making him untouchable while soaring in the sky--or something.

    Also, while it sounds powerful, the second NP is mechanically boring; Rather than "burst of energy on contact" I'd suggest something along the lines of "by flapping his wings so hard, Garuda releases a powerful burst of fiery shockwave that could dry off an ocean at full power."

    In conclusion, I think the sheet feels rushed and still needs to be expanded upon to fit the "Ruler of the Skies" theme rather than just "one tanky birb".

  4. #14924
    神秘 Obscure Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 34 View Post
    Garuda: Oh boy, here's one of my favorite mythological creature (mostly because my nationality bias). First off, making Garuda a Ruler is an interesting choice; as you described in his 2nd NP, he is the symbol of God's (Vishnu) authority, so the class theme fits.

    Of course, while I overall like the character, I have my nitpicks. First, as a Ruler he doesn't really feel like one with all his abilities, even with Charisma, it doesn't really fit; moreover, Charisma is supposed to be a Skill for someone who ruled or led an actual army/nation, so I don't think Charisma fits him either. Also, as one of most awesome mythological birds, he lacks bird-themed abilities aside from his feather armor NP (which also kinda doesn't suit him). Bravery EX would be better off as a unique majestic bird themed Skill or something.

    With the first NP, straightforward invincibility is too generic. Garuda selling off Indra's Vajra with only shedding a single feather can alternatively be interpreted as him being resistant to the Authorities of the Sky God, denoting the Garuda as the true King of the Sky, making him untouchable while soaring in the sky--or something.

    Also, while it sounds powerful, the second NP is mechanically boring; Rather than "burst of energy on contact" I'd suggest something along the lines of "by flapping his wings so hard, Garuda releases a powerful burst of fiery shockwave that could dry off an ocean at full power."

    In conclusion, I think the sheet feels rushed and still needs to be expanded upon to fit the "Ruler of the Skies" theme rather than just "one tanky birb".
    I didn't really intend for him to be an orthodox Ruler in the first place. He mainly qualifies for the class due to his connection to Vishnu as well as not possessing a wish.
    I admit Charisma is a poor fit, but I'm not a fan of shoving unique Skills everywhere when another would do the job. I don't really have a valid excuse for this one, admittedly. I was mostly going off on the fact that everyone seems to feel he's the greatest thing since sliced bread plus his connection to kingship and nobility. Not sure what a replacement Skill's name would be, though, as repeating Suparna's literal meaning would be pretty boring.
    Not really sure what you mean by "bird-themed" abilities. Having wings is birdy enough as I see it, and he doesn't really need a Skill for that one. Maybe something drawn from 'casting a shadow' on others as a partial nod to his wings blocking out the sun in some legends might work.
    Bravery is another pretty poor fit, but I thought Garuda needed something to represent how he just up and waltzed to fight the gods themselves (not to mention prevailing somehow), and speaking to Vishnu himself as something akin to an equal (although making brash requests to gods seems to be a thing in some portions of Hindu mythology). Bravery might not be the best match for that, though.

    With Suparna, I sorta wanted to go for the fact that Garuda at least appears pretty peerless when one considers the stuff he did. Invulnerability is not a very good way of going about showing that, though. As I recall the NP was supposed to have an offensive portion to it as well, but I felt that that would've been one NP doing the work of several NPs. I also wanted to include a caveat to allow him to be made weaker so that he isn't just flat-out invincible. For example, with the sky bit there wouldn't really be much point to him coming down from there. Though the more I think about that, the more I'm starting to warm to the concept.
    Something along the lines of being the Ruler of the Sky, and thus nothing can bring him down from there against his will. Only by voluntarily 'dropping down' to the level of others can he be truly injured. Hm.

    As for Dharm Bahaalee, I didn't want to just espouse on his magnificent glory and how Garuda reduces continents to ashes and so forth (especially given that the NP's point is to be a precise weapon for the extermination of evil). It did end up coming off as a little boring, so I suppose it could be glorified a little more.

    If you're okay with it, I'd actually like to rewrite Suparna to fit your suggested version, at least to some extent.

  5. #14925
    Leyak Queen 34's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    I didn't really intend for him to be an orthodox Ruler in the first place. He mainly qualifies for the class due to his connection to Vishnu as well as not possessing a wish.
    I admit Charisma is a poor fit, but I'm not a fan of shoving unique Skills everywhere when another would do the job. I don't really have a valid excuse for this one, admittedly. I was mostly going off on the fact that everyone seems to feel he's the greatest thing since sliced bread plus his connection to kingship and nobility. Not sure what a replacement Skill's name would be, though, as repeating Suparna's literal meaning would be pretty boring.
    Not really sure what you mean by "bird-themed" abilities. Having wings is birdy enough as I see it, and he doesn't really need a Skill for that one. Maybe something drawn from 'casting a shadow' on others as a partial nod to his wings blocking out the sun in some legends might work.

    Bravery is another pretty poor fit, but I thought Garuda needed something to represent how he just up and waltzed to fight the gods themselves (not to mention prevailing somehow), and speaking to Vishnu himself as something akin to an equal (although making brash requests to gods seems to be a thing in some portions of Hindu mythology). Bravery might not be the best match for that, though.
    For bird themed Skill, I suggest something like "the ability to swoop down rapidly to catch/attack/consume preys". Also, yeah, the ability to block out the sun could maybe be incorporated to his Suparna NP as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    With Suparna, I sorta wanted to go for the fact that Garuda at least appears pretty peerless when one considers the stuff he did. Invulnerability is not a very good way of going about showing that, though. As I recall the NP was supposed to have an offensive portion to it as well, but I felt that that would've been one NP doing the work of several NPs. I also wanted to include a caveat to allow him to be made weaker so that he isn't just flat-out invincible. For example, with the sky bit there wouldn't really be much point to him coming down from there. Though the more I think about that, the more I'm starting to warm to the concept.
    Something along the lines of being the Ruler of the Sky, and thus nothing can bring him down from there against his will. Only by voluntarily 'dropping down' to the level of others can he be truly injured. Hm.
    I imagine him having to swoop down to attack is one of the only times (barring conceptual or some other stuff) he is vulnerable, so yeah, maybe something like that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    If you're okay with it, I'd actually like to rewrite Suparna to fit your suggested version, at least to some extent.
    Of course.

  6. #14926
    Good Morning World! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    I could see the legend of Garuda's wings blocking out the sun equating to a Skill that blocks out/negates Skills or Noble Phantasms deriving from the sun in his presence (like Gawain's Numeral Of The Saint).

  7. #14927
    神秘 Obscure Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Edited now, I hope that's a little better.

    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I could see the legend of Garuda's wings blocking out the sun equating to a Skill that blocks out/negates Skills or Noble Phantasms deriving from the sun in his presence (like Gawain's Numeral Of The Saint).
    That's also pretty much what I thought, and is supposed to be implied by the newly written 'Sovereign of the Heavens' Skill.

  8. #14928
    Leyak Queen 34's Avatar
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    Okay, now that's a really cool Garuda servant. Definitely a tremendous improvement from before! Truly the best birb.

  9. #14929
    Knight of Joestar SirGauoftheSquareTable's Avatar
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    Glad to see Garuda as a sheet, since he did feature quite a bit in my childhood. I actually am fine with the skills you gave, and as for NPs, maybe there should be a reference to the Garuda astra other warriors used to counter the Naga astra?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Well, it seems the sheet has been improved to the point I have no more quibbles with it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Deathhappens View Post
    Really, all 3 of the romances in F/SN are 'for want of a nail' kind of situations.
    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    You mean because Shirou winds up falling for the first of the three that he Nailed?
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    I speak for the majority of important people* *a category comprised entirely of myself

  10. #14930
    The Great and Powerful Wizard's Avatar
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    Archer of Seven
    FC


    Class
    : Archer
    True Name: Benzaiten
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Region: Japan/India
    Source: Shinto-Hinduism

    Parameters
    Strength: C
    Endurance: B
    Agility: A
    Mana: B
    Luck: A++
    Noble Phantasm: A

    Height: 160 cm
    Weight: 54 kg
    Likes: The Seven Lucky Gods, the beach, modern technology, isekai
    Dislikes: Tradition, Couples
    Attribute: Heaven
    Natural Enemy: Vritra
    Personality
    Personality
    Benzaiten, better known to her friends as Benten or Ben-tan, is a modern goddess in the most literal of ways. She wears the latest fashions, knows the hippest songs, uses the newest slang, plays the latest games, watches the best shows, the whole shebang. Benten is on the pulse of modern society better than some people who actually live in it.

    As the goddess of inspiration within the Japanese sphere, it would not be wrong to say that Benten’s interests are the interest of the Japanese people and vice versa. There isn’t a person in Japan, perhaps even the world, Benten couldn’t find something in common with, letting her get along with everyone. She gives off the aura of a bubbly, if not slightly airheaded young girl with a heart of gold.

    Do not be fooled into thinking she is stupid. Benten is easily one of the most intelligent members of the Seven Lucky Gods with a tongue forged from silver and a mind that flows from thought to thought faster than most people can breath. She is flexible in every sense of the word, making it almost impossible to outmaneuver her mentally. That is, of course, if she isn’t distracted. Benten can be serious when need be and even when it does not, but she has a horrid tendency to distract herself. A fast mind does not necessarily mean one a focused one. Rivers have many paths.

    Her somewhat child-like personality typically has Benten designated as the little sister of the Seven Lucky Gods despite actually being one of the older members chronologically. She takes to this role with fervor as a Servant, referring to herself as the ‘ultimate little sister.’ Bishamonten was not impressed. Benten also gets jealous easily, clinging onto her Master and friends with ferocity, claiming them as hers. She despises all couples, missing her own times with her husband, Brahma, then remembering what actually happened and getting angry about it.

    A side note: Benten would prefer this not be brought up in her official profile, but it was deemed necessary for any future Masters that this information be included. Benzaiten, Goddess of Eloquence, Language, Poetry, Art, Good Fortune, Wealth, Learning, and Rivers, member of the Seven Lucky Gods, is a massive pervert. She hides behind the facade of an innocent young girl, but her mind is as brilliant as it is shadowed by thought of unfiltered filth and degeneracy. Her obsession with being a little sister may or may not be related. It is unclear whether this perverse nature reflects Japan’s own or the much worse conclusion that it is the other way around.


    Dialogue
    Dialogue
    “Ho ho ho! Congratulations, Ma~aster! Your fortune must be good today since you summoned I, Ultimate Little Sister style Archer-class Servant, Benzaiten! But you can just call me Benten, for short. Gah!(hug) I’m so happy that you summoned me, this is gonna be lit! Is Big Sis Bisha here yet? Where is she?”

    “…...Brother.” (clasps hands) (If you have summoned Edward Teach.)

    “Parvati! I lo~ove the new look, it’s totes adorable. Ooh, I missed you so much. It’s been so long since we’ve spent time together, well, for me. You’ve got to tell me what I missed. Is Sri here? If she gets summoned, we can get the old gang back together. Have ourselves a little girl’s night~” (If you have summoned Parvati.)

    “Beni-chwan! (tackle hug) I can’t believe you’re here too. Did you miss your favorite auntie? Huh? Huh? Hey! Make these birds stop attacking me! Ah! Stop it! Beni!” (If you have summoned Benienma)

    “I like the look of you. How about you and I play a trick on Master?” (If you have summoned Chloe von Einzbern)

    [Untranslatable Gyaru slang] (If you have summoned Suzuka Gozen.)

    “Huh. You’re pretty cute, ya know that? Being apart of you doesn’t sound so bad, I’m almost jealous of the other me inside you right now. What I’d give to be her~. Hey, wanna come back to my room? I have some games we can play~” (If you have summoned Meltlilith.)

    “All happy couples should explode.” (If you have summoned Orion/Sigurd and Brynhildr/Sakamoto and Oryou.)

    "...except them." (If you have summoned Rama and Sita.)

    “Hmm. Not as cute as I would’ve liked, but it’ll do. Just wait until we get to the Summer Event, then that *supa naisu body* will stand out for sure. I can imagine it already. Hehe! We’re gonna have so much more fun here than some other Grail War. Kicking butt and saving the world together. We’re like Sentai Rangers! (gasp) OHMYMEIJUSTHADTHEBESTIDEAWHERESEBISU!!!!!!!!” (If you have summoned Bishamonten.)

    *said in accented English on purpose.


    Skills
    Class Skills
    Magic Resistance: A
    A skill that cancels any spell A-rank or below, making the user eligible for the title, Magus Killer. Benzaiten was once the goddess Sarasvati of India who ruled over all things that flow. Utilizing this ability from the past, Benzaiten can cause spells and magecraft to ‘flow’ off her similar to rain rolling down a glass window.

    Independent Action: B+
    Nothing can hold back the river that is Benten. She goes where she wishes, when she wishes, how she wishes. It would be easier to drain a lake by hand than it would be to stop her without the use of a Command Seal, which are weakened by her Magic Resistance. Ultimately, a Master in normal circumstances will be forced to submit to the desires of the flighty teenage goddess. However, if another of the Seven happens to be about, specifically Bishamonten or Daikoku, then there will be no need to worry. Ebisu will have the opposite effect.

    Divinity: A+
    Since Divine Spirits cannot normally be summoned as Servants, the Seven Lucky Gods had to lower themselves to a more mundane level, which was easier for some than others. Benten had to seal away quite a bit of her Divinity to be summoned due to her former position as Sarasvati. She was able to pick a few things from the past to keep, but doing so had brought a worrying fragility to her Saint Graph.

    Personal Skills
    Lucky Number Seven: A+
    As a member of the Seven Lucky Gods of Japan, Benten has access to a skill specific to these seven entities. As Servants, the Seven Lucky Gods are able to use their own influence over luck to manipulate the rules of fate, if only for a short period of time, to create an impossibility known as a miracle. The miracles can vary in magnitude, but the greater the miracle, the more likely there will be backlash and the deadlier that backlash becomes. Due to the reality-warping capability of this skill, the Seven have imposed a ban on its use more than once a month, going by the lunar calendar.

    The Words that Flow Like Rivers: A
    The Goddess of Eloquence and Language is unsurprisingly well-spoken. This skill could be considered a more potent version of Charisma that is directed through words and capable of manipulating others besides her allies. Benten could convince someone of a bold-faced lie with a few sentences. She is able to anticipate the flow of someone’s thoughts and use words to direct them in whatever direction she wishes. It can boost the morale of her allies, but also destroy her opponents should they be vulnerable to such manipulation. Her skill would normally be EX, but her insistence on using modern terms and slang make her harder to understand at times.

    Zeitgeist: B
    The embodiment of Benten’s proximity to the modern world. Taking her knowledge of society and her own ability to change her form at will, Benten created a skill that allows her to completely erase her presence as a Servant from the view of others. To anyone just meeting her, she is a normal, if not flashy, Japanese teenager. Even when she performs acts beyond the capability of a mundane human, one might be made to mistake her for an exceptional Magus instead or a psychic. Even learning she is a Servant will divert a person from thinking she is an Archer. Only learning her True Name can truly free person from this subtle manipulation. Those with the ability to determine identities or resist mental interference will see through easily. At a higher level, even the world could be tricked into thinking she is real.

    Golden Rule: A-
    The Goddess of Good Fortune and Wealth is a decent haggler and dealer. She gathers wealth with expected ease, but she spends it even faster, leading to a constant cycle of loss and gain. Gain which normally comes from asking other people for money. She’s terribly convincing. Bishamon believes her puppy dog eyes should be a Noble Phantasm of their own.


    Noble Phantasm
    Noble Phantasm
    Pleasant Songs, Gracious Thoughts
    Shirohebi Biwa
    Rank: B+
    Type: Anti-Mind
    Throughout her many incarnations, Benten has always carried her instrument with her, even as it changed form to reflect the people she oversaw. From a veena to a biwa, it now takes the shape of an electric guitar. As an Archer, this could be considered her ‘bow’, her weapon with which she fires her ‘projectiles’ of thoughts and feelings. She is a goddess that inspires people, the one they pray to when they need ideas, when they need thoughts, when they need plans, when they need hope. Strumming the six strings of her guitar, Benten sends all these and more flying down to her subjects. As a Servant, Benten does the same to her opponents, firing thoughts and emotions of despair and defeat their way. Not all inspiration is kind. She weakens the mind to help destroy the body.

    Named after her connection to the human-headed snake god, Ugajin.

    Charming Melody of Upper Heaven
    Path to Harmony
    Rank: A
    Type: Anti-Unit, Anti-Mind
    Harmony is a sensation of oneness with the universe. Such a state is not reached easily, taking entire decades for even the most faithful and studious to accomplishment, but one well worth the trials, allowing them to ascend to higher planes of reality often only traversed by gods. It is, perhaps, not the ability to feel at one with the universe that is difficult, but the ability to comprehend that state meant normally only for gods.

    That is why Benten’s Noble Phantasm is such a deadly one for mortal men. Focusing on a single person, Benten takes the feeling of harmony from within herself and projects it onto another person, forcing them to experience a higher reality than they are used to. Without preparation, resistance, or divine blood, the target’s mind will become lost within the cosmo on the path to a higher world. Some can find their way back to their physical bodies, others will lose their minds in the sea of existence. It is a powerful ability, and as it requires understanding her own divine, natural state as a goddess in harmony with the universe, it pushes Benten closer and closer to full Divinity, weakening her Saint Graph.

    Raindrop Into the River
    Swansong
    Rank: EX
    Type: Anti-Time

    A forbidden technique only to be used in the most desperate situation imaginable.

    Sarasvati was the goddess of all things that flow: words, poetry, music, wind, rivers, and even time. It is this final concept that Benten taps into with her ultimate Noble Phantasm. Transforming her six stringed guitar into a seven string veena, Benten strums all seven and calls the True Name of her technique, taking on the role of Sarasvati once more. By doing this, she will destroy her Saint Graph as Benzaiten and return to being a Divine Spirit, a being that is unsummonable by the Throne of Heroes, effectively killing her within a Holy Grail War. Even in situations such as that of a certain timeline where heroes gather, Benten cannot be summoned again after using this Noble Phantasm.

    When all seven strings have been played, time will reverberate and flow off course. In need of correction, the Laws that govern the World will be forced to reverse time to repair the damage, which has been specifically targeted as to cause the world to rewind time from the moment of disruption by one hundred and eight seconds. All those present will naturally forget what happened, but the fading melody of Benzaiten as Sarasvati will provide ghostly memories of what may have been, allowing them to act upon a future that will no longer occur. Her final gift to them, her friends, her family.

    Ship of Miracles: The Maiden Sings Sweetly
    Takarabune
    Rank: EX
    Type: Anti-Fate
    Locked.


    CN
    Creator's Note: The second of the Seven Lucky Gods of Japan has arrived! The amazing and fabulous Benzaiten! Yeah, she's certainly something. I figured someone who inspires people would reflect modern culture pretty well, especially since people still pray to her today for a little help. Whether that help was a good thing or not, well, that's yet to be seen. If you want someone to blame for all the isekai and lolis, you've found your culprit, ladies and gents. Turns out that it was the light of a god turning us down this dark path all along. Next up, the main man himself, Ebisu as a *****-class Servant! You get two guesses on what his class is and the first one doesn't count.
    Last edited by Wizard; February 25th, 2019 at 11:21 AM.

  11. #14931
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    10/10 would empty my bank account for her

  12. #14932
    吸血鬼 Vampire cooldownnow's Avatar
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    Class: Rider
    Other Classes: Archer
    True Name: Rostam
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Place of Origin: Persia
    Face Claim

    Parameters:

    STR: A+
    END: B
    AGI: C
    MGI: D
    LCK: A
    NP: A

    Height:7’
    Weight:350 Ib
    Likes: Rakhsh, Kabul, Good Food, Kay Kavus
    Dislikes: Demons, Kay Kavus’s Misadventures, Pits Filled with Swords.
    Talent: Riding, Hand to Hand Combat
    Natural Enemy: Shaghad
    Attribute: Earth
    Traits: Humanoid, Riding
    Armament: Laso, sword, bow and arrows
    Catalyst: The last vestige of his armor Babr-e Bayan

    Class Skills:
    Spoiler:
    Riding
    Rank: A
    All vehicles and all creatures but those of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast-rank can be used as mounts. However Rider’s legend comes with the fact that ‘Rakhsh is the only animal he could ride’ so he is unable to ride any non Phantasmal Beast living mounts other than his Noble Phantasm.

    Magic Resistance
    Rank: C
    Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.


    Personal Skills:
    Spoiler:
    King Maker
    Rank: B
    Rider and his father and his father’s father were dedicated to establishing the reign of the Kayanian Dynasty. If Rider is working to protect one he has deemed worthy to rule he gains a rank up in his physical parameters.

    Divinity
    Rank: D
    Some scholars have considered the possibility that Rider was actually the god of a river. However these are scholarly theories with no real merit so the rank is low.

    The Haft Kahn
    Rank: A
    Less of a skill and more of a show of pedigree this skill represents the glory of Rider completing the seven labors of the Haft Kahn. Even if they do not know his true name all who look upon Rider feel the glory of his amazing deeds.


    Noble Phantasm(s):
    Spoiler:
    Rakhsh
    The Noble Steed

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: A
    Range: 2~60
    Max Targets: 1

    Rider’s steed, a horse that has moved beyond the realm of normal horses and has begun entering the realm of the divine. Described as having the chest and shoulders of a lion and the strength of an elephant he is the only horse that Rider could ride without killing due to his immense size and strength. Rakhsh is also incredibly intelligent able to understand complex ideas and communicate with Rider. In combat Rakhsh is able to fight as his own entity supporting Rider or as a mount keeping Rider from harm.


    Babr-e Bayan
    The Threefold Armor

    Type: Anti-Unit(Self)
    Rank: B
    Range: 0
    Max Targets: 1

    The conceptualization of Rider’s three layers of armor he wore into battle. First he put on his zereh a layer of chain mail, next was his jawshan a layer of plate armor, and last was his strongest armor the Babr-e Bayan. Babr-e Bayan is the main and greatest part of this Noble Phantasm. Made from the skin of a dragon that Rider killed as a young man with supernatural durability. While wearing it Rider is immune to fire, water, and weapons below B Rank. As Rider is known as the man that ‘wore three layers of armor’ as long as one level of armor is able to be repaired all pieces of the armor will be instantly returned to peak condition.


    Div-e Sepid
    The Heart of the White Demon

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: C
    Range: 0
    Max Targets: 1

    The heart of the demon Div-e Sepid that Rider defeated. When exposed to the blood of the heart injuries will fade away and things such as lost sight or limbs will be restored. Unfortunately for Rider the mana cost it takes for the heart to repair wounds is greater then what it would take for a master to heal them making it only useful for healing cursed wounds or restoring lost body parts.


    Lore:
    Spoiler:
    One of the greatest heroes of Iranian mythology Rostam was the son of legendary hero Zal and grandson of Sam. Ever since birth Rostam was far too large for this world almost having killed his mother in child birth due to his great size. As a man Rostam couldn’t even ride any animal besides Rakhsh due to his great size destroying them. Rostam was raised by his grandfather Sam to help establish the rule of the Kayanian Dynasty. Rostam quickly became one of the strongest heroes that the world had ever seen killing a white elephant with a single blow as a child or slaying a dragon at age 14.

    His most famous adventure though had to be his undergoing the Haft Kahn seven labors he went through to free the Shah Kay Kavus and his men from the demon Div-e Sepid who had captured them while they were on a military expedition and stolen their sight. Rostam and Rakhsh fought lions, dragons, and all manner of demons in before defeating the demon and restoring his chosen liege and his men’s sight. This journey is known as the Haft Kahn, or the Seven Labors. In fact many of his great adventures could be described as Kay Kavus getting captured and then Rostam saves him.

    Rostam did have a son in his life but unfortunately due to the two of them never meeting before they first met on opposite sides of a war where Rostam killed his son Sohrab. Rostam’s life was unfortunately cut short through two unrelated yet connected events. First he killed one of Iran’s other greatest heroes Esfandiyar falling pray to the curse that the one who kills him will be cursed to suffer even after death, and second he was betrayed by his half brother Shagad who was jealous of his accomplishments and tricked him into falling into a well filled with poisoned swords.


    Personality:
    Spoiler:
    Rider is a pious and honorable knight to the very end. He was the ideal that all warriors in the Shahnameh are held too. Stronger than any beast, smarter than any magician, more pious than any priest. Rider dedicated his life to his country and protecting the Kayanian dynasty. As a servant Rider sometimes considers a wish of being born small in stature and lacking skills in combat, then perhaps could he his brother and his best friend Kay could all live together in peace.

    However he soon finds himself dismissing that wish as that would mean removing all the great deeds he did as a hero and all the lives he saved. Perhaps then his wish would be to prevent himself from killing Esfandiyar but then again that situation would only be resolved with one of them falling to the other and the alternative didn’t sound great to him. Maybe to prevent the misunderstanding that caused his sons death although even if they had known each others identities they were on opposite ends of a war so they would have to fight anyways. In the end Rostam is the sort of stubborn guy who despite feeling the need to change things refuses to see a problem with how he did things.


    Relationships:
    Spoiler:
    Hercules:
    “A fellow hero who went through Labors. You could say he had a davazdah kahn. I wish he could properly speak so we could share stories.”

    "▂▂▃▃▂▂"

    Red Hare:
    “I never thought that I would ever find a horse as majestic as Rakhsh. If I could ride him then maybe… No! I could never betray Rakhsh like that! He is the only horse I may ride! But that Red Hare looks so mighty…”

    “Please keep that weird man away from me.”

    Arash:
    “So this is who protected the land I helped build after I was gone. I am proud to see our legacy is in good hand.”

    “Rostam is sort of my childhood hero. I feel a little unworthy hearing such words of praise.


    Creator Notes:
    Spoiler:
    I’ve been reading the Shahnameh (pretty much just to get servant inspiration) and Rostam is a very cool hero. I’m a little afraid I gave him too many noble phantasms but Div-e Sepid can easily be just left out or stated to be one that is only given when summoned in Persia. For his personality I was originally going to make him the stereotypical regretful servant who wants to live a normal life but then thought it would be a little funny if he did have regrets but also couldn’t figure out what he would change since he can’t imagine himself doing things differently.
    Last edited by cooldownnow; February 26th, 2019 at 12:50 AM.

  13. #14933
    Knight of Joestar SirGauoftheSquareTable's Avatar
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    Should have put a section with Cu Chullain, considering how similar they are. Otherwise, a decent sheet somewhat sparse on detail with reasonable NPs and parameters.
    Quote Originally Posted by Deathhappens View Post
    Really, all 3 of the romances in F/SN are 'for want of a nail' kind of situations.
    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    You mean because Shirou winds up falling for the first of the three that he Nailed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Tobias View Post
    I speak for the majority of important people* *a category comprised entirely of myself

  14. #14934
    Good Morning World! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Rostam: Fairly well done all around. Not a fan of the "aura of glory" effect for Haft Khan though. It honestly seems more like a generic "hero" Skill than anything unique to Rostam's own legend. After all, pretty much every mythical hero performed amazing deeds and had their name carved into history and so on. To give Rostam a Skill just to say that his feats in particular are super special and amazing, when more famous heroes like Arturia and Heracles have nothing of the sort, strikes me as rather unnecessary.

    If you want to stick with giving Rostam a unique Skill based on his seven labors, I'd go with something along the lines of Proto!God Hand's concept of "will win seven battles" (but obviously much weaker, since it's only a Skill instead of an NP). It'd allow Rostam to bend fate to escape an unwinnable situation, or turn the tide of a losing battle. But Rostam would only be able to use it seven times in any given Grail War, after which the Skill would be permanently sealed. Kind of like a more limited version of Pioneer Of The Stars, now that I think about it. Something like that would fit Rostam's legend of "performing seven impossible feats" better than a generic aura of glory.

    I'm also not sure about Rostam having three A-ranked NPs. Especially Babr-e Bayan. God Hand is a defensive NP that's better than it in just about every way, and is only B-ranked, so Babr-e Bayan could probably be lowered to B or even C.

  15. #14935
    吸血鬼 Vampire cooldownnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Not a fan of the "aura of glory" effect for Haft Khan though. It honestly seems more like a generic "hero" Skill than anything unique to Rostam's own legend. After all, pretty much every mythical hero performed amazing deeds and had their name carved into history and so on.
    The reason I have Haft Khan is basically because I'm making a series of servants from the Shahnameh who each have the Haft Kahn skill but give off different auras(Rostam's displays glory because that his showed he was the ideal hero while his son Farāmarz did them for love so his would give him an aura of kindness and so on). Normally I would just not have and have the Haft Kahn be referenced else where in the sheet. As for the Noble Phantasms those were actually giant oversights. I had copied the basic format of it from the first Rakhsh and I guess I forgot to change the values. Oops.

  16. #14936
    吸血鬼 Vampire cooldownnow's Avatar
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    Rider Faramarz


    Class: Rider
    Other Classes:
    True Name: Faramarz
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Place of Origin: Persia
    FC

    Parameters:

    STR: C
    END: B
    AGI: B
    MGI: D
    LCK: B
    NP: C

    Likes: Rostam, His Wives, Love
    Dislikes: Dishonor, Esfandiyar, Demons
    Natural Enemy: Bahman
    Attribute: Earth
    Armament: His sword and bow
    Catalyst: A copy of the Faramarz-Nama

    Class Skills:
    Spoiler:
    Riding
    Rank: C
    Because he does not have an anecdote of riding anything special or worth mentioning, he receives a low rank despite being a Rider class servant. The only reason Rider is in the class he is in is due to his father’s class.

    Magic Resistance
    Rank: C
    Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.


    Personal Skills:
    Spoiler:
    The Haft Kahn
    Rank: B
    Less of a skill and more of a show of pedigree this skill represents the glory of Rider completing the seven labors of the Haft Kahn. Rider performed his Hot Kahn to rescue the woman he loved so those that see him get the feeling of ‘he will do anything for love.’

    Protection of the Fairies
    Rank: A
    Protection of the Fairies is a blessing from Elementals; the capacity to increase one's Luck in dangerous situations. Activation is limited to battlefields, where it is possible to perform feats of arms. As the son in law of the Fairy King Rider is beloved the the fairies.


    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Spoiler:
    The Fire Colored Stallion
    Chasing My Fathers Legacy

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: C
    Range: 2~40
    Max Targets: 1
    Rider’s steed, sort of. Rider was involved in a legend involving capturing this legendary stallion but besides that he has nothing to do with the legendary horse. Rider simply grasped onto the legend of this horse in an attempt to emulate his father Rostam as a rider and as a result the Noble Phantasm is severely weakened taken from a B Rank noble Phantasm to a C Rank. At the level it is at now the Fire Colored Stallion can channel the flames of the underworld in a single attack however Rider is not immune to the flames and must be on the Fire Colored Stallion to activate the attack making it a double edged sword. AS the Fire Colored Stallion also had the legend of killing the king’s horses when facing a steed type Noble Phantasm it receives a rank up.


    Lore:
    Spoiler:
    Faramarz under normal circumstances would be a great hero known throughout the world, unfortunately he was born the son of a great hero Rostam who’s shadow Faramarz lived in. As baby Faramarz was raised by his older sister Banu Goshasp known as one of the most powerful women in the Shahnameh. When he grew older Faramarz mostly did as he pleased going on adventures throughout the world. Eventually he was asked by the king Kay Kavus to go to India and help the king Nowšād Shah. From there he went on to go through a Haft Khan like his father before him and helped save the king.


    Years later the king Kay Khusraw asked him to return to India where he rescued the princess of the island Kahīlā and married her. Later on in his journey he met the daughter of the Fairy King who he fell in love with. After the girl’s disappearance he underwent a second Haft Khan to rescue the fairy princess and then returned to Iran with his two brides to live happily ever after. He even managed to make peace with the son of the man who killed his father Bahman. Eventually though Faramarz died falling off his horse and was entombed with his father.


    Personality:
    Spoiler:
    Faramarz lives under his fathers shadow and is completely fine with that. A man who prefers to march to the beat of his own drum he goes where he pleases and does as he pleases. This is not to say he loathes responsibility as he is perfectly willing to obey the orders of the king and even finds no small pleasure in getting the job done well. In the end he is a man who lived his life content and died content. Normally such content man would be unable to be summoned as a servant but once he heard his father could be summoned he had to try it himself. Forced to choose a wish he would probably want to live life in the modern age with the loves of his life. His biggest weakness however is how easily he falls in love.


    Relationships:
    Spoiler:
    Rostam:
    “I am quite glad I get to see father again, I can’t wait to tell him of the adventures I had after he died.”

    “My son completed two Haft Kahns?! I knew he would be great!”

    Rama:
    “A man who would do anything for his love. To be honest I am in awe of his dedication.”

    “I am quite jealous of Faramarz. I would do anything to have lived out the rest of my days with Sita.”

    Mordred:
    “I feel quite sorry for that knight. I know as much as anybody how it feels to have such a great father.”

    “I hate that guy, thinking he knows how I feel. He didn’t even try to surpass his father. People like that make me furious.


    Creator Notes: Faramarz is interesting because he is the first time I’ve tried to create a terrible servant. I’m sure that if I read the Faramarz-Nama I would be able to come up with a better Noble Phantasm but I thought that a middling hero who only allowed himself to be summoned due to his father was interesting. If him and Rostam were both servants in FGO Rostam would be a 4* servant with some good utility while Faramarz would be a 1* known as the budget Rostam. His biggest strength would be in falling in love with another servant and being so cute they join his side.


    Lancer Esfandiyar


    Class: Lancer
    Other Classes:
    True Name: Esfandiyār
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Place of Origin: Persia
    FC

    Parameters:

    STR: C
    END: A
    AGI: A
    MGI: D
    LCK: A
    NP: B


    Likes: Rostam, Zal, Sam, All the Great Heroes of the Shahnameh
    Dislikes: Villains, Evil, His Own Weakness
    Natural Enemy: Rostam
    Attribute: Earth
    Armament: His chain, a sword, a bow
    Catalyst: A link of his magic chain


    Class Skills:
    Spoiler:

    Magic Resistance
    Rank: C
    Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals. However this is not the case when receiving the effect of his holy armor.



    Personal Skills:
    Spoiler:
    Mana Burst (Light)
    Rank: B
    As the man who helped spread Zoroastrianism Lancer can channel divine might through his weapons in concentrated bursts to increase speed and power as well as give them the attribute Divine at B-Rank. Attacks using this skill deal extra damage to enemies of the evil alignment.

    Eye of the Mind(False)
    Rank: A
    Being able to see through the weapon and style of his opponent after crossing blades only a few times, the perception of his eyes is the best among Servants.

    The Haft Kahn
    Rank: C
    Less of a skill and more of a show of pedigree this skill represents the glory of Rider completing the seven labors of the Haft Kahn. However because Lancer performed his Haft Kahn with the help of thousands of soldiers and a guide who knew the path well the pedigree those around him feel is ‘One who only succeeds due to those around him’.


    Noble Phantasm(s):
    Spoiler:
    The Armor of Ahura Mazd
    Zartosht’s First Gift

    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
    Rank: B+
    Range: -
    Max Targets: 1
    In order to aid in Lancer’s spreading of the Zoroaster faith the great prophet Zartosht baptized him with the holy blessings of Ahura Mazda the creator god. This baptism turned every part of his body that the water touched invulnerable, however Lancer closed his eyes during the baptism leaving them his weakness. The rest of Lancer’s body is immune to attacks below that of A-Rank and even those that get through the holy armor will have a B-Rank worth of damage subtracted from them.

    The Chain of Ahura Mazd
    Zartosht’s Second Gift

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B
    Range: 1-30
    Max Targets: 1
    In addition to the Holy armor of Ahura Mazd Zartosht also gave Lancer his holy chain which was said to be able to bind anything it wraps around. The Spear of Ahura Mazd is based conceptually on the Chain of Heaven Endiku. However unlike Endiku it is not only able to bind Divine Spirits but also entangle servants without Divinity requiring a strength check to break free. Before speaking it’s name the chain will act as a normal weapon that Lancer has to directly manipulate to move, however one Lancer calls out it’s name the chain will begin to move on its own and ensnare his enemies allowing Lancer to strike the defenseless enemy with one of his other weapon.

    Lore:
    Spoiler:
    The most powerful hero of the Shahnameh Esfaniyar’s life was one of constant betrayal. Esfaniyar’s father Goshtasp was deeply religious and believed it to be his divine duty to spread Zoroastrianism all across the world. He sent his son Esfandiyar on mission’s to convert the neighboring kingdom’s to Zoroastrianism and he was mostly successful even gaining the love of the people as a great hero. However a prince from a kingdom Esfandiyar had conquered in his journey grew jealous and whispered in Goshtasp’s ear that Esfandiyar was planning to usurp him. The king grew paranoid and ordered his son to be chained and imprisoned in a mountain prison none could escape from.

    Despite being more than able escape on his own Esfandiyar obeyed his father’s wishes and remained imprisoned. Years later however Goshtasp’s enemy Arjaasb attacked and the king’s forces were being pushed back. Knowing that he had no choice Goshtasp freed Esfandiyar and claimed he was deeply regretful to his son for his imprisonment and stated that as proof of his regret if Esfandiyar defeated Arjaasb he would be given the throne. Once Esfandiyar entered the battle field the tables turned immediately and Arjaasb had to retreat to the Invincible Fortress(that’s literally what it’s called I’m not making this up). Esfandiyar returned home expecting to be given the throne but his father said that Arjaasb had kidnapped his two daughters, and before Goshtasp could give up the throne Esfandiyar had to rescue them.

    Taking along many soldiers and a demon guide Esfandiyar had three options to get to the fortress, an easy path that would take two months, a slightly more difficult path that would take a month, or the seven day Haft Kahn that would take seven days to traverse but none had crossed and lived. Naturally as a great hero Esfandiyar completed a Haft Kahn like Rostam before him and laid siege to the fortress. Using great cunning Esfandiyar disguised himself as a merchant and managed to sneak half his forces inside the fortress and took it over while the other half launched a distraction attack.

    Esfandiyar returned home a hero with his sisters however his father still did not wish to give up the throne so he consulted his star seer and learned that the only thing that would kill Esfandiyar would be a confrontation with Rostam. Upon Esfandiyar’s arrival home Goshtasp stated that he would only give up his throne if he saw Rostam in chains before him as revenge for when he refused to help him in the battle against Arjaasb. Despite this being the second time he had been refused the throne he was promised Esfandiyar still went to get Rostam for his father.

    As a proud hero Rostam refused to be put in chains so the two decided to settle the situation with a duel. Despite the fact that Rostam was the great hero of Persia Esfandiyarwas able to defeat him without taking a single scratch. During a break for Rostam to dress his wounds his father Zal called upon the Simurgh for the knowledge to defeat Esfandiyar. Rostam was given a two pointed arrow carved from a tamarisk and fletched with the Simurgh’s own feathers. When the battle continued Rostam used the arrow to strike Esfandiyar in the eyes, the only spot not protected with his divine protection. As he laid there dying however Esfandiyar’s final words to Rostam were to not blame himself for the events that happened for the cause was his father, and Esfandiyar’s selfish desire to be king.


    Personality:
    Spoiler:
    The Prince who should have been King. Esfandiyar grew up towards the end of the age of heroes and idolized those that came before him. He constantly tried to emulate the perceived selflessness and heroism that the likes of Zal or Rostam had. However despite natural having the body of a hero he had what he perceived to be an unworthy mind. He got frustrated when things did not go his way, he was impatient, and he was unable to put his country before his own glory. Despite all his perceived flaws he continues to emulate the heroes he idolizes. However little does he know that from his true desire to be the type of hero he believes his forerunners to be Esfandiyar has already surpassed them in noble spirit. However his weakness is his inability to say no to his father or give up on the throne, both of which resulted in his death at Rostam’s hand.As a servant he wants more than anything to prove that he is a selfless hero and as such denied himself a wish to be granted by the Holy Grail.


    Relationships:
    Spoiler:

    Rostam:
    “Master why did you not say Rostam was here!? Should I apologize for out last meeting or greet him as equals? What would Rostam do?”

    “Esfandiyar? It is good to see somebody from home, how about a rematch while we’re here?”


    Achilles and Siegfried:
    “I seem to have been recruited into something called the invincibility club? I am not sure how I feel about it.”


    “It is best to humor Achilles Esfandiyar, he is simply overjoyed to find more servants that share our curse.”


    “First order of business for the invincibility club should be to see who’s skin is more durable! Let’s fight!”


    Angra Mainyu:
    “Master I have come to accept that you keep all manner of company but please keep him away from me.”


    “Hey remember when you killed and killed for your father and your reward was betrayal and death? Those were some good times huh?”

    Creator Notes:
    My second Shahnameh character sheet. As opposed to Rostam who is a giant tank of a man I wanted Esfandiyar to be more mobile and a quick fighter. His fighting style is basically that of Medusa from Stay Night not relying on his invulnerability to stay unharmed although he has more weapons than just his chain. Speaking of his chain while looking up what sparse details there are on it I realized that it was very similar to the Endiku Noble Phantasm so I thought it would be a Caliburn Gram situation where it is modeled after ‘the chains to capture the divine.’ As for the Noble Phantasm names I am not proud of them but I couldn’t think of good names. Any help with those would be great!


    The last two of the set of three Shahnameh servants who are connected through the Haft Kahn(and also just being related to or killing one another).
    Last edited by cooldownnow; February 26th, 2019 at 09:10 PM.

  17. #14937
    Knight of Joestar SirGauoftheSquareTable's Avatar
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    If the Chain of Ahura Mazda is a conceptual descendant of Enkidu/the Chains of Heaven, it should be noticeably weaker in some way. Also, why did you give everyone MR Rank C? Esfandiyar should probably have higher considering what era he lived in as well as his Class.
    Quote Originally Posted by Deathhappens View Post
    Really, all 3 of the romances in F/SN are 'for want of a nail' kind of situations.
    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    You mean because Shirou winds up falling for the first of the three that he Nailed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Tobias View Post
    I speak for the majority of important people* *a category comprised entirely of myself

  18. #14938
    吸血鬼 Vampire cooldownnow's Avatar
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    The Chain of Ahura Mazd is weaker than Endiku in the sense that it's only one chain rather than however many Gilgamesh has. Esfandiyar's magic resistance is low for the same reason Karna's is C and Gilgamesh's is E. His inherent resistance granted by the Armor Ahura Mazd supersedes that ability. I also didn't mean for them all to end up with C rank magic resistance that was just a coincidence of sorts.

  19. #14939
    Knight of Joestar SirGauoftheSquareTable's Avatar
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    Enkidu is one chain, not many chains, as far as I believed.
    Quote Originally Posted by Deathhappens View Post
    Really, all 3 of the romances in F/SN are 'for want of a nail' kind of situations.
    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    You mean because Shirou winds up falling for the first of the three that he Nailed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Tobias View Post
    I speak for the majority of important people* *a category comprised entirely of myself

  20. #14940
    吸血鬼 Vampire cooldownnow's Avatar
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    It looks like many chains at the very least.

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