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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #13621
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Freedom isn't really a sin, though. Something to that effect could work though. Laxity, Indulgence or Abandonment perhaps?

  2. #13622
    吸血鬼 Vampire Alexcoene's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    In my opinion, a fitting sin could be Freedom: Trying to loosen the bindings of laws and society to let people enjoy themselves, but bringing up chaos and discord by removing everything that restricts them
    Daneel Rush's already done that with Chiyou.
    Edit: Also, Pity and Comparison don't sound like sins when you hear their name either.
    Last edited by Alexcoene; Today at 05:07 PM.

  3. #13623
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alexcoene View Post
    Daneel Rush's already done that with Chiyou.
    Edit: Also, Pity and Comparison don't sound like sins when you hear their name either.
    At least Comparison does strike me as a sin of sorts (or at the very least an evil of man). You're right about Pity though.

  4. #13624
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Also, unless you're an extremely hardcore escetic, "Pleasure" isn't really a a sin either.

  5. #13625
    閻魔 Skull's Avatar
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    Depends on what you're getting pleasure in tbf.


  6. #13626
    吸血鬼 Vampire massive_jojo_reference's Avatar
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    Richard the Lionheart and Philip Augustus
    It was a cold, dead and a silent night. the sun has long ago set on this world, in a crusader camp on a hill from which you could barely make out the massive walls of Jerusalem, stood the king of England, pious to no end, Richard the Lionheart, in but a light tunic.

    He was looking in the distance, the lights of the holy city illuminated, as if a light from god, the dead night, however there was anger in the air, it was held by heathens, the holy city in which the messiah lived was held by someone not of Christianity, the knight's templar were uneasy, and wished to attack the city as soon as possible.


    The king of england then heard footsteps from behind him, it was none other than the French King, Philip II, nicknamed Augustus also in a tunic.

    It is a peaceful night isn't it, king of England?

    Hmm? so you are sleepless too, Philip?, of course we all are, the holy city is about to be taken by us, in the morning, we shall win and bring back jerusalem to kingdom of god.

    Of course it will, But this glory will be all your's Richard.

    Do not speak of a death in battle! we must both take the holy city, King Barbarossa already died. its only two of us kings leading this crusade. we shall take it together.


    I wish i would be granted the ability to die for the kingdom of god. but it will not happen. I will have to return to France,

    The king of England, in a fit of pious anger drew his sword, the very same one he claimed to have belonged to king Arthur who he looked up to

    YOU WOULD LEAVE THIS HOLY MISSION FROM GOD?! IS IT NOSTALGIA, OR IS IT JUST PETTY COWARDICE, EITHER WAY YOU DISGRACE THE CHRISTIAN WORLD BY-

    Richard Stop it!, the count of Flanders is dead, if things aren't sorted out my country will fall into chaos, the people will revolt, france will bleed to death! and worst of all you won't have a rival to Fight against! so would you for a mere second stop your pious rage?!

    Upon hearing this, the English king's face changed from anger to sadness.


    Go if you must go. It is sad that you have to leave this mission from god, but know that if you die while traveling back, or fall ill. may god bless you and your will be done.

    In that case thank you king of England, those words mean a lot to me. now continue your sacred quest, defeat the heathens and retake the holy land, Deus vult.


    Deus vult!

    and on that note, the kings parted, both smiling as they looked on their respective goals, but also enjoying the rivalry between each other, the holy city wouldn't be captured, and the kings had massive fights break out, but even after the crusade, they both enjoyed fighting each other, true rivals to say.



    A king is naught but a sword leading his country, a king's sword leads the king in turn, for the glory of France, i have joined this crusade to retake not the holy land, but humanity itself and i hope that god lets me to not leave it.


    True Name: Philip II Augustus of France
    Class: Saber
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Origin: France

    H/W: 181cm/55kg
    Likes: Pious individuals, Trustable Allies.
    Dislikes: Enemies of France, enemies to the throne
    Talent: Warfare
    Wish: ''To continue what he started in Jerusalem''

    STR: C
    END: B
    AGI: B
    MNA: D
    LCK: A++

    Class Skills
    Magic Resistance: C
    Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.

    Riding: B
    Most vehicles and animals can be handled with above average skill, even vehicles that did not exist in the time period one was alive in, for they are no exception. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts.


    Personal Skills
    God-Given Firstborn: B
    A skill that comes from the nickname he got when he was born, god-given, because his father was already an old man, lacking an heir to the throne, which would spur the country into chaos.
    Guarantees most Luck-checks, Allows for the use of Battle Continuation at B rank.

    Charisma: B
    Having B Rank in this Skill is sufficient to lead a nation as its King/Queen. The morale of military forces he or she commands is extremely high.
    His army would be loyal to him and follow him wherever he went, most notably the third crusade, he is also one of the most famous rulers of France and is seen by many as a benevolent king and is thus very popular.

    Military Tactics: C+
    Tactical knowledge used for massive battles where many are summoned.
    Saber has not only high ability to lead, but if is attacking a city or at least a fortified position, this skill becomes stronger.

    Robust Health: B
    A skill made up of various anecdotes surrounding the person having a exceptional health.
    Having survived in a forest and a subsequent sickness, as well as fought on many battlefields and survived to old age - ''by then's standards'', he receives a B rank in this skill.


    Noble Phantasm
    The shining sword that leads the country into glory
    Glaive d'Philip
    [A] [Anti-Army]
    Now behold my glorious sword, France's power, its claim to greatness, the flame that will burn away all of its enemies and free its people from evil.

    The consolidation of all that the first king of France represents, a sword that leads the country, a sword that falters not to others in order for the people to be happy.
    It bears a striking resemblance to Joyeuse, the sword of Charlemagne, the king of the franks, except that it is extremely long, about 170cm In length, but keeping the same thickness of the blade,

    Unlike many other holy swords it hold neither holy nor demonic power, other than the fact that it is the sword of France it holds. when this name is released, the surrounding area become, for a temporary time, France, After that the sword will float up in the sky, where it will stop and point down, as it does this, clouds begin to condense at its locations, it heats up the surrounding air and becomes so hot it starts Turning the air into plasma, when this is done it begins siphoning the Mana of the land that was declared ''France'' and From Philip himself, as it does this it heats up even more, and when it heats up enough, it sends a Bluish white beam of Magical energy down into ''France'' and when it hits it, the beam starts pointing into the direction of whatever enemy is there, rather than destroy it with heat alone it can also pulverize anything it hits. stripping atoms of it at a incredibly quick rate, and of course leaving massive scorched areas.

    It cannot be activated while being held due to unknown reasons, Philip speculates it may have to do with overlap, due to both the king, and the sword are something that leads a country.


    Personality/Etc

    CE: Crown of France
    I hereby swear that under god i will protect my kingdom and my people.
    I will be remember as a pious and a just king, reigning with a iron fist of judgement.
    For it shall be my life-long commitment.

    Bright, Generous, firm and hard-headed, he has the characteristic of both a king and a hero, but he is also stoic, and makes sure to never get too full of himself.
    He can also be described as someone who wishes to finish things up, since his greatest regret was leaving the crusade and then finding out that the city of Jerusalem wasn't captured, and because of this this he hates not finishing up jobs he is given, he can become frantic about this even.

    Like many, he enjoys the company of other kings of his rank, society and giving speeches is where he thrives, he holds a fear of forests, due to being left alone in one as a child.
    He is the type to work more efficiently the more pressure he is under. and even though he was praised because he was his father's only son, he never let himself be spoiled by others. taking great time to study strategy, history and other subjects, he took after Charlemagne after awing at his feats when reading a book, seeking to be a pious king just like he did.

    but most importantly [Atleast to him] is his sense of humor so dry its a wonder he isn't constantly dehydrated.

    as said, his greatest wish it to continue the crusade together with Richard the Lionheart, he cares not whether the holy city is recaptured this time, he just want to be there.

    Relations:
    Charlemagne: Is that Charlemagne? hehehehe no master... i cannot even hope to stand up to his deeds, but i do consider him a equal as a king.

    King Arthur/Artoria: The legendary king of England huh? No... I mean her personality does not mirror that of Richard in any sense, in fact her policy of being a just king seems more similar to me, but i mean, i never had to use a holy hand grenade to kill a mere rabbit NOW DON'T POINT THAT EXCALIBUR AT ME PLEASE!

    Richard the Lionheart: Of course my crusade-mate would be here, heh see what i did there CRUSADE MATE... jokes aside, i shouldn't try approaching him, i still get crusade flashbacks. Now why is he starring at me like he wants to fight me?


    Notes
    That Short story i wrote? yeah i did want to test my writing skills. pretty much routine run of the mill servant here in any case, but i did try giving him a sense of humour. but it does surprise me nobody did the other foster boy of the third crusade. i even saw Barbarossa been done, who died in a fucking river.
    Last edited by massive_jojo_reference; Today at 06:19 PM.

  7. #13627
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Typhon: You've really done a good job with this sheet, specially remembering that Beasts don't need to have a NP, like Tiamat, but I personally think that since Typhon is more an enemy of the gods than an enemy of mankind, he'd be something like Surtr rather than a Beast
    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    You've got a point with Typhon mainly being a foe of the gods, but wouldn't the same apply to Tiamat as well, given that that's who she fought? I guess Typhon could count as an enemy of humanity as a progenitor of monsters, though I didn't focus on that part in the sheet (not wanting to make a quasi-Tiamat, essentially).
    Isnt every threat to the deities also a threat to the mankind actually ?
    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    So that's why the last Yuga is named after Kali. I always figured it referred to the goddess, which made no sense as far as I was concerned. <--- (Not all that familiar with Indian mythology after all)

    Not sure if Hedonism would be a good sin for Kali, given that it seems a little too similar to III's pleasure. Could be a /L or R of Regression, though, humanity reverting to their base selves.
    could you explain me what meaning the numbers have are they related to the sins ,if no please correct me?

    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    In my opinion, a fitting sin could be Freedom: Trying to loosen the bindings of laws and society to let people enjoy themselves, but bringing up chaos and discord by removing everything that restricts them
    Thats reminding me must follow a beast servant a certain sin ,in particular because i had a idea of a Beast Nemesis(Goddess) profile ?


    Quote Originally Posted by Alexcoene View Post
    Daneel Rush's already done that with Chiyou.
    Edit: Also, Pity and Comparison don't sound like sins when you hear their name either.
    why should they be sinss, ?especialyy Comparison ??
    Last edited by Kabalisto Koga; Today at 07:30 PM.
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  8. #13628
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Philip II: His personality and Personal Skills are well-done, and I do like the sense of humor you gave him. Makes him more interesting than your usual "honorable knight" character. That said, his NP is really bland and kind of unfitting. The only part I can see that connects to Philip's actual legend is how it turns the surrounding territory into France, and even that doesn't seem to have any mechanical effects (though I presume it'd strip away fame bonus from non-French heroes). Not the mention the fact that he's destroying his own country along with the enemy is kind of nonsensical conceptually.

    If you want to keep the "embodiment of France" idea, maybe have it so when he invokes the true name, Philip can perform a single strike with the combined power of all the citizens and armies of France simultaneously? Or, stretching that concept a bit more, maybe being the First King of France would allow Philip to temporarily channel (in an Imperial Privilege-like fashion) Skills and abilities of other great French heroes like the Paladins of Charlemagne?

    Maybe not as flashy visually, and still not the most amazingly original concepts, but either of those would be more fitting than what he has now IMO.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    why should they be sinss, ?especialyy Comparison ??
    As I see it, "Comparison" is basically envy + racism. Comparing yourself to others and either resenting them for having more or hating them for being different than you.

  9. #13629
    吸血鬼 Vampire massive_jojo_reference's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Philip II: His personality and Personal Skills are well-done, and I do like the sense of humor you gave him. Makes him more interesting than your usual "honorable knight" character. That said, his NP is really bland and kind of unfitting. The only part I can see that connects to Philip's actual legend is how it turns the surrounding territory into France, and even that doesn't seem to have any mechanical effects (though I presume it'd strip away fame bonus from non-French heroes). Not the mention the fact that he's destroying his own country along with the enemy is kind of nonsensical conceptually.

    If you want to keep the "embodiment of France" idea, maybe have it so when he invokes the true name, Philip can perform a single strike with the combined power of all the citizens and armies of France simultaneously? Or, stretching that concept a bit more, maybe being the First King of France would allow Philip to temporarily channel (in an Imperial Privilege-like fashion) Skills and abilities of other great French heroes like the Paladins of Charlemagne?

    Maybe not as flashy visually, and still not the most amazingly original concepts, but either of those would be more fitting than what he has now IMO.
    Thank you for praise, but expanding on the beam part a little bit,
    It merely reflects off of the land that was turned into France and doesn't destroy it, since its the land turned into France is what Powers it in the first place.

    But with that said i will consider reworking the NP by your guidelines if i ever have the time to, i'd also like to expand the short story in the beginning of the sheet, something like a story of the two's relationship and the retelling of third crusade events.

  10. #13630
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by massive_jojo_reference View Post
    Thank you for praise, but expanding on the beam part a little bit,
    It merely reflects off of the land that was turned into France and doesn't destroy it, since its the land turned into France is what Powers it in the first place.

    But with that said i will consider reworking the NP by your guidelines if i ever have the time to, i'd also like to expand the short story in the beginning of the sheet, something like a story of the two's relationship and the retelling of third crusade events.
    Fair enough. I admittedly did misunderstand that part. Though, since you did mention the beam leaves massive scorched areas and the surrounding area becomes France once he invokes it, wouldn't that (depending on the range it's fired at and how wide the "surrounding area" is) still equate to damaging France?

  11. #13631
    吸血鬼 Vampire massive_jojo_reference's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Fair enough. I admittedly did misunderstand that part. Though, since you did mention the beam leaves massive scorched areas and the surrounding area becomes France once he invokes it, wouldn't that (depending on the range it's fired at and how wide the "surrounding area" is) still equate to damaging France?
    I could explain it with the land being immune to damage when it is turned to france, but you could also make the comparison of Holding the hot coal near your hand and letting it touch your hand, the former won't burn you.

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