Create-A-Servant 2

[Vance]

I did say that it was a joke servant

[King of Padoru]

But this was a rare chance to make an actually stabby Assassin... Sorta sneaky too.

I'll let it pass, but only this time

[cooldownnow]

@shiki-pon thanks for the advice. As for the servant criticism B is the rank of kings which he was so I’ll die on that hill. As for mystery slayer Berserker Mom is the only servant with it so far and it’s at A rank so I figured putting it at B rank wasn’t the worst. If I make another servant with mystery slayer maybe I’ll lower the rank though.

[King of Padoru]

Götz of the Iron Hand
Class: Striker
Identity: Gottfried von Berlichingen
Gender: Male
Source: Historical fact
Origin: Germany
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Height: 193 cm
Weight: 111 kg (arm not included)
Theme: Kingdom Under Siege by Kevin Simon

Parameters:
Strength: A
Endurance: A
Agility: D
Mana: D
Luck: B
NP: B+

Skills

Class skills

Magic Resistance: C
Cancels spells with a chant lower than two verses. Can’t protect against Greater Rituals or High-Thaumaturgy.

Natural Weapon: B
Applies bonuses to checks corresponding to barehanded fighting. Despite not usually being summoned in this class, his artificial arm makes the rank of this skill quite high.

Independent Action: B
Allows to act freely without connection to a mana source for a period of time. A class skill of Archers.
Götz’s nature as a mercenary allows him to survive two days on his own.


Personal skills

Mana Burst (Courage): A
An internal type of Mana Burst that increases defenses through a combination of magical energy and one’s own guts.
Though, Götz himself doesn’t acknowledge this as a Mana Burst, but as just common bravery.

Charisma: C
Talent as a leader combined with one’s natural charms. A skill of the Saver class. Rises abilities of allies in battle.
As the chief of a group of mercenaries, he knows how to handle soldiers of any kind.

Synthetic Limbs (Eisen): D
Substitution of a limb into a man-made mechanism. Provides bonus modifiers to action checks regarding combat and success checks.
A low rank coming from only having one hand replaced by a prosthesis. When not using his Noble Phantasm and just holding normal weapons, it’s practically impossible to make him drop them from his iron hand.

Noble Phantasm

Eisenhand Schneid

Show our guts, hand of robust iron

Type: Anti-Unit, Anti-Army
Rank: B+
Range: 1~30
Maximum number of targets: 150 people

When injected with Götz’s Mana Burst, his prosthetic hand is modified into a form more suited for direct combat than for holding his weapon. Its shape becomes massive, to the point of looking impractical, but all the opposite, it’s with this huge arm of iron that Götz can fight seriously.

A Noble Phantasm that Götz couldn’t make use of during his life, but that was born from what he was recorded in the Throne of Heroes as: a man with just an iron hand and his ideals. Even if losing one arm should have weakened him or ended his career, it made him stronger instead. With that basis he transforms his iron hand into his ultimate weapon.

Besides being the reason why his Strength and Endurance are both ranked A, the pressure from Götz’s attacks becomes such that it can send a large number of opponents flying away, even if his punch doesn’t connect. If the True Name is properly released, all the energy contained in the arm is released in a single blow able to devastate a wide area. As a cost for it, however, Götz gets exhausted, so he only uses it as a last resort.

Character

First person pronoun: ワシ (washi)
Second person pronoun: オマエ (omae) / 小僧 (kozō)
Third person pronoun: コイツ (koitsu)



Personality

An old man full of fighting spirit. As a historical figure whose legend never had any fantasy included, he’s proud of how he earned his fame through effort, and scorns those who don’t need to work for achieving great things. Of course, that includes
most of the Heroic Spirits. Even though he knows that not everything was a bed of roses for them, they counted with certain advantages a man like him never obtained, and are remembered because of those advantages. That’s why he scorns them.

A foul-mouthed mercenary and thief that insults those he disdains by saying they can kiss his rear. But even if he was far from being like those flawless knights in shining armor everyone admires, he possesses a code of honor comparable to theirs. Truth be told, he often compares himself to them not only because he had it harder than them to be remembered as a hero, but because he envies the warriors that kept fighting and left a young corpse. Even if he wouldn’t change his life for anything in the world, he will employ this second opportunity to die in combat.


Treatment with the Master

Given his nature as a mercenary, Götz will settle with his Master as long as they’re satisfied with his conditions. Those conditions are, that he fights whenever he wants to, and that no innocents are harmed. Other than that, he approaches the Master as a grumpy old man mistrustful of magecraft. Preferring to rely more on physical ability, he will want to train their body as if they were a soldier.


Dialogue examples

Summoning: “My name’s Götz, Götz of the Iron Hand. Are you the one who I’m contracting? Hmph, how scrawny. If I have to fight with you, I’ll have to make you get some more muscle.”

Bond 1: “What’s wrong? I’m a mercenary. If you’re going to waste my time, tell me so I can go home.”

Bond 2: “Again here? I’m busy with my arm’s maintenance right now. Don’t just stay there like an idiot! Go fetch me that toolbox over there!”

Bond 3: “Goddarnit, you kids are lucky to be so lively. You need to have energy to save the world, I guess. But hey, you’re mistaken if you think I can’t follow your pace just because I’m old.”

Bond 4: “You know, this iron arm here has been my only partner all this time. While all heroes had beam swords, flying spears and all that crap, I only had a hand made of metal. I had to earn my reputation on my own. It’s a shame I couldn’t become as famous as those heroes, but I don’t really regret it.”

Bond 5: “In the end, I was just a normal guy, you know? I had this iron arm and my wish to be a hero, but that’s it. When I was too old to keep fighting, I had to leave the battlefield and rot at home, even though my warrior spirit wasn’t gone yet. But now I’m a Servant. No matter how much time passes, as long as I’m with you, this old fart can fight as much as he wants. Thanks for this second chance, kid.”

Likes: “What I like? Heh, what a stupid question. I’m a warrior. For me, there’s nothing like giving it all on the battlefield and exchange blows with your opponents. Though, going all Robin Hood and flipping off authority makes a good pastime too”.

Dislikes: “Innate talent, divine grace, fame just because someone decided to write about you… That stuff and the heroes that have it can all line up and kiss my ass one by one.”

Wish for the Grail: “Listen here, kid. I’ve dedicated my whole life to only one thing and the only help I had was this iron hand. As much as I’d have liked to die in the battlefield, I’m not going to rely on magical gadgets now.”

Personal data

Historical depiction

A renowned mercenary from 16th century Germany. Having lost his arm in a siege, he had it replaced by a prosthesis that made him earn his nickname. With a determination and a hand of iron, he kept fighting with his men here and there, stopping conflicts wherever he went. Between battle and battle, he dedicated himself to give the ones in need what he took from the rich, earning reputation as a Robin Hood-type figure. He also wrote his own biography, telling his life without adding any fantastic elements.

And the thing is that, at the end of the day he was just a human. He didn’t count with the favor of any god, he didn’t slay any monster, nor did he have any famous weapon. Just with an iron hand and guts, he made his own path to fame from scrap. He made a strength of his weakness, and continued standing on the battlefield for almost 50 years, fighting for at least 17 different feuds.

Several years after his death, his biography was used as a basis for Goethe’s drama of the same name, and his story was rewritten to show the masses his most appealing side without adding any fantasy. His famous quote, “he can lick my behind”, served as inspiration for two of Mozart’s pieces.


Armament

Iron hand
A metallic hand. During his life, Götz had two of these prosthesis made. The second one had enough mobility to allow him to grab his weapons and even write. None of the two could transform into a gigantic mechanical arm in real life, though.


Related characters

Robin Hood
“A thief can’t be a knight, you say? What an idiot, you can be both. Just learn how to combine them and you’ll do just fine.”

Karna
“You kinda get it. You had natural talent and were the son of a god and all that crap, but you still had to work hard to get where you got.”

Arjuna
“‘Booo~! Look at me~, I’m the hero everyone loves and spoon-feeds all the time~! Why do I get everything I need and win all the time~?’
This is how dumb you sound, kid.”

Bedivere
“Heh. I don’t know how you did it to keep yourself alive for so long when you’re so weak, but you and I aren’t that different. Hell, we even got a metallic arm and everything. You sure did well, kid. You’re worthy of being a hero.”

Mozart
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! DID YOU REALLY GO AND COMPOSED NOT ONE, BUT TWO PIECES OF MUSIC FROM THAT LINE?! THAT’S A GOOD ONE!!!”

Heroes
“Look at all these guys. The one who isn’t a demigod has a mystical weapon, ate a dragon, banged a nymph, or whatever. Meanwhile, what did I get? An artificial hand and a natural death. Keh, talk about unfair. I get it, they also had it hard at times, but it’s just not the same when you have a head start.”

A sheet that came out mostly because I wanted to make Götz have a big ass mechanical arm like Z's as his NP. Other than that, his skillset doesn't convince me enough and neither does making him a Saber

[Historia]

If you want opinions on which one is best, I'd go with number two. The first one is way too similar to Gae Bolg, and the last two are too subdued-looking for the spear's bloodthirsty nature. Still, all of them look pretty cool.

Going by the designs and descriptions, I’d say 2 and 3 are the most fitting. I lean more towards number 3 myself.

Nah, I wasn't. Thanks though. I already went over the final design with the artist beforehand,

[RoydGolden]

Ooh, that one's a keeper. Combines what's best about the second and third designs.

[zikari8]

Ooh, really like the how the fiery glow is portrayed. Very nice

[Tarlo]

[English is not my Main Lang, sooo ]

I've done some Servants related to buddhism, this is the first

Spoiler:

True Name: Siddharta Gautama
Class: Archer
Other Classes: Saber, Lancer, Rider
Alignment: Neutral Good
Source: History, Buddhism
Place of Origin: Nepal, India


Parameters:

STR: C
END: A
AGI: C
MGI: C
LCK: A++
NP: B+

Likes: His wife Shakti, his home, everything is "beautiful"
Dislikes: Disease, death, ugly things
Talent: Military Arts
Attribute: Star
Armament: A sword (basic), military armor
Catalyst: a piece of Kapilavastu's Gate
Personality: A chill guy. What he want he take, but always kindly.

Lore:
Prince Siddharta lived in Nepal, about 600 a.C. and comes from a warrior tribe named Sakya, discendant from the legendary king Iksvaku.
He's born as the greatest warrior, and a prophecy announced that he'd been fated to become the King of the World.
Luxurious things and love from everyone sorrounded him every time, but He started to question about World's Souffering after have seen a dead animal during an hunting trip. His Father, seeing Siddharta near the path of the spiritual guides instead of the kings one, built for him a palace where souffering doesn't exist, the servants were always young and the fading flowers substitute in time. More than all, an Home where happily live with his wife.

At adult age Gautama left everything, then He'll become what the people call "The Buddha".


Class Skills:

Spoiler:

Magic Resistance
Rank: C-/A
Siddharta never lived episodes related with magic, but his mental balance grants him Immunity to mental attacks.


Indipendent Action
Rank: A
Basic skill who permit to keep his role as warrior even if the Master dies. This skill also mirrors the constantly indipendence spirit of Siddharta to every ethic or feel which he's been growth, until the decisive choice of throw away everything for his personal purpose.

Personal Skills:

Spoiler:

Eye of the Mind (True)
Rank: A
Siddharta born with a perfect mind. As a child he surpassed every teacher charged for his studies, and as a boy he showed with great superiority his abilities in military arts against every warrior of his tribe. Eye of the Mind grant him to naturally understand the best tactic to overcome the difficulties.


Eternal Arms Mastership
Rank: A+
Siddharta won his future wife during a tournament for the best warrior. The prince showed mastership with everything he found in his hands.


Golden Rule
Rank: A
Siddharta lived as a very rich royal in every time of his young life, and He was naturally able to participate at the benefit of his reign. With this skill he can easy gather money and treasures.

Noble Phantasm(s):

Spoiler:

Royal White

Kanthaka

Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: D
Kanthaka was a glorious white horse, the Siddhart'as favourite ones. He accompaigned his Prince in every main moment of his life.

The World of Perfection

Kapilavastu

Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
Rank: B+
With the objective of keeping Siddharta aside from life's soufferings, his father built an isolated palace on the mountains where everything was perfect as his son. Everything was in function of the Prince's needs and always with the best quality that could be found.
The Noble Phantasm summon his great palace, physically, and It can be the definied as "The Absolute Perfect Field" where every structural element is in constantly self modification to favour Siddharta and adding difficult to his enemies. Siddharta can here choose the best weapon for the fight (usually a bow, that he typically used during fights and huntings) with a B- Rank. Also, all his parameters raise by one Rank, and all others Parameters from people inside the Palace are decreased by one Rank.

What others say about him

Spoiler:

XuanZang
"AAAAAAA MY MASTER LILY VERSION! C'ME HERE C'ME HERE!!"

Kiara
"So, I know something about what you'll do with your wife... uhuh, what a great master here we have <3"
*Reference to Tantric Buddhism

Tamamo
"You're here too. ò_ò"

Nezha
"Oh, did you see the other you yet?

Saver
"Speaking with myself is not a necessary need for yours. Good Path." *Disappear*

[RoydGolden]

The idea of a Gautama Servant based on before he became the Buddha is a pretty cool one. I think Eye Of The Mind and his second NP are a bit over-ranked though. Kapilavastu seems at around the same level as Nero's theatre, so I'd say B-rank would be enough.

[King of Padoru]

Kanthaka feels pretty pointless. There are other non-Rider Servants that have their horses (Titoria, Lanling) but don't use them as NPs

[Tarlo]

Thanks the sheet idea was "Not a Strong Legendary Monster Slayer but still a little genius that somehow could duel with Artoria"

Edited Eye with a A Rank and Kapilavastu with B+ (since other than the Theatre-like It has some added features)

For the horse, i looked at Iskandar, since Kanthaka is mentioned a few times as an important partner in Siddharta's youth

[Dragolord09]

Anybody have any ideas for a Hildebrand servant? (Has connections to several other notable servants here like Dietrich and Kriemhild)

[cooldownnow]

Anybody have any ideas for a Hildebrand servant? (Has connections to several other notable servants here like Dietrich and Kriemhild)

Besides the Siegfried legend he was also in a bunch of Dietrich stories as his mentor. So maybe he could be like a Saber version of Merlin. A creator of heroes.

[Historia]

Currently working with an artist to design Daji, and another for a more historical/realistic take on Saber Jeanne, one for Yuenu, and yet another for Helgi Hundingsbane. These are all original Servants in the story I'm writing.

Pretty fun so far.

edit: got permission to share WIPs. Here's Daji so far (rough sketches):

[King of Padoru]

Sexy. I like it

[Cataquack Warrior]

Daji looks really neat, @Historia. It seems to capture her unhinged nature. It'll be interesting to see what role she plays in your story.

On another note, I have a submission for a relatively minor Greek legend I found out about when reading up on the Olympics:

Oinomaos/Myrtilos ~ Taraxippos Olympios

Class: Avenger

Alternate Classes: Berserker, Rider, Lancer (Oinomaos)

Appearance: A grim man riding a chariot, cast in a dark shadow that obscures most of his features. Even so, if you look closely enough, his face and expression seems to subtly change ever so often.

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Lore ~ Ghost of the Hippodrome

"Horse-Frightener" was a fell spirit said to haunt the Olympic Games of old. Unless placated with offerings, he would seize horses with fear and make them rear up, or sabotage chariots such that they would careen out of control. The exact origin of the ghost is unknown, but there are two primary myths involving different antagonists, each of which would have gladly killed the other.

It all started with the black-hearted, lecherous King Oinomaos "Heavy-Drinker" of Elis and Pisa. The king had a beautiful daughter named Hippodameia, but he lusted fast on her and would not give her up to a suitor. Therefore, he gave men courting her a challenge. They would race him on chariot across the Peloponnese, all the way from Pisa to the Isthmus of Corinth, and he would generously give them a head start while he prayed and sacrificed to Zeus for good fortune. If he caught up, however, he would spear the would-be suitor in the back with a spear.

One day, the hero Pelops, a rider of great renown, challenged the king for his daughter. Hippodameia, though, knew that he father was too fast even for Pelops, so she devised a plan to save her future husband. She spoke with Myrtilos, the royal chariot-master, and, promising to repay him in the future, asked him to replace the bronze linchpin - the cornerstone of the chariot - with a was duplicate. On the day of the race, Oinomaos closed in on Pelops and raised his spear, but the wax shattered in the nick of time, dislodging a wheel. Knocked off, trampled, and dragged by his sabotaged chariot, the king died filled with agony and hate.

Triumphant, Pelops, Hippodameia, and Myrtilos all went to the sea to ritually cleanse themselves of the murder. However, Myrtilos then demanded his reward: sexual favors from Hippodameia. In response, Pelops kicked him off a cliff, and Myrtilos died cursing Pelops and all his progeny to come.

It's unclear whether the ghost haunting the Hippodrome was truly Oinomaos, Myrtilos, or someone else entirely, but due to the connected nature of both legends and the blurring between their origins, the manifested Servant is a fusion of these two vengeful spirits.

Personality: Because Avenger is a fusion of two separate individuals, ones who each hate each other, their mind is incredibly chimerical and schizophrenic. It's pretty much a coin-toss on whether their wish at any moment would be to kill every relation and incarnation of Pelops, gain Hippodameia as their devoted lover, or kill each other. The only things they seem to agree on is their lust for pretty women, both young and mature (it was rumored that in addition to his other vices, Oinomaos's wife was in fact his own mother), and their hatred for pretty-boy heroes and anyone of the Rider class or with skill at riding in general. As both men were sneaky bastards who would do anything to get what they wanted, Avenger should be treated cautiously, even by those who are allied with him.


Parameters:

Strength: D

Endurance: E

Agility: A

Mana: E

Luck: E

Noble Phantasm: B

Skills

Class Skills:

Avenger (C/A)- Represents the state of an Avenger as one that gathers people's hatreds and grudges onto oneself. It is easier for one to accumulate hatred and resentment. The rate of mana generation becomes higher when receiving damage. Rank increased due to Curse of Kin Against Kin.

Memory Correction (C-)- People are creatures that forget many things, but an Avenger never forgets. The critical effect of Avengers who attack from beyond one's memory is strengthened. While Myrtilus's hatred in particular endured for generations, the fusion of the two beings has jumbled their memories and thus lowered the rank.

Self-Replenishment (Mana, D)- One's magical energy endlessly surges until their revenge is accomplished. Recovers a minuscule amount of magical energy every turn.


Personal Skills:

Aesthetics of the Last Spurt (C)- Based on how Oinomaos would allow his challengers to get a head start before he would catch up. Can anticipate the enemy by letting him take the initiative and then confirming his actions.

Divinity (E/D)- A measure of one's aptitude as a deity. Has the effect of reducing special defensive values in proportion to one's rank. Can also break through protections/boosts built on divine connections/faith. Myrtilos was a demigod son of Hermes, while Oinomaus was believed to have been birthed from one of the Pleiades or another legendary nymph/naiad, but the rank is low due to neither individual having shown any particular inheritance from their parents during their mortal lives. Rank raised with Altar of Zeus.

Mental Pollution (C)- Due to possessing a distorted mentality, it is possible for one to shut out any mental interference thaumaturgy. However, at the same time, it becomes impossible for one to come to a mutual understanding with individuals who do not possess an equivalent rank of Mental Pollution. Due to the Servant being a fusion of two opposing individuals, Avenger's psyche is quite volatile and prone to snapping unpredictably, the exact triggers depending on which individual is in control at any given moment.

Riding (D-/B)- The ability to ride mounts and vehicles. Most vehicles and animals can be handled with above average skill but cannot ride phantasmal beasts. While both men were skilled with chariots, their own Horse-Frightener noble phantasm lowers the rank. Rank raised with Altar of Zeus.

Noble Phantasms

Horse-Frightener ~ Breaker of Riders

Type: Anti-Army

Rank: C

Scatter, horses! Break, wheels! Let havoc reign on the race track, and the proud shall be dragged back down to the earth!

A power drawing on Oinomaos's striking down of riders, Myrtilos's sabotage of the former's chariot, and both individuals' havoc at the Olympic Games. It acts as essentially an anti-Rider aura that engulfs a 100-meter radius of Avenger. All those in the area of effect will have their Riding skill reduced. In addition, the curse will enchant anything that functions as a steed or vehicle, causing mounts to be filled with confusion and panic while also making vehicles - everything from chariots to planes - start to fall apart at the seams. The power is active constantly and affects everyone in the area, even Avenger. Luck and Magic Resistance can reduce the effect of the curse.


Altar of Zeus ~ Good Luck Chariot

Type: Anti-Unit

Oh, great Zeus Leukaios, mighty lord of Olympus, look down on this humble servant of yours. I offer you gifts and my eternal debt for your sacred blessing. May my chariot glow with the light of your power, and my horse dash with the speed of your lightning. For no man of this earth can escape your wrath!

A two-horse chariot that has a large bowl on its front (much like the cauldron for the Olympic Games) that is alight with a powerful flame, one that seems to spasm as if struck by lightning. For all his vices, Oinomaos was at the very least faithful to the gods, in particular Zeus. At the start of each race, before manning his chariot, he would take the time to offer up a ram to Zeus, thus ensuring that the chiefest of the Olympian gods had his back in the chase. When the Olympic Games were founded in commemoration of the king's final race, Oinomaos's former house was chosen as the site for Zeus's sacred altars.

When the noble phantasm is activated, the entire chariot becomes engulfed with a dual-combination of flame and electricity, singing anyone but Avenger to a crisp should they make contact with it. As the chariot as a whole is in essence a vessel for the power of the gods, Avenger's Divinity is temporarily raised to D as long as he is piloting the chariot. Moreover, his parameters are all raised by one rank, and his Riding level also rises, temporarily nullifying the effect of Hermes' Wrath on him.

However, the chariot retains the form it had in its last race, with a wax replica in place of the usual bronze linchpin. The longer the chariot is active, the more that the flames will melt the wax, until the noble phantasm literally destroys itself. If the noble phantasm is dismissed and reactivated later, the wax will regenerate; however, due to Avenger's crazed state he doesn't always remember to stop in time. Due to the danger of combating the fiery vehicle head-on, it's best to try to outlast it long enough for it to do itself in.

The other weakness of the noble phantasm is that it takes a particularly lengthy aria and ritual to activate, much as how Oinomaos delayed his entry into the races to make the sacrifice; hopefully, unlike many of his victims, you can make the best of that small window to either escape or take him down before he summons his ride.

If summoned as Lancer, he can use a variant of the noble phantasm to summon a lightning/flame-infused lance; it's also worth mentioning that as Lancer, he gets a boost to attacks that strike from behind.


Hermes's Wrath ~ Curse of Kin against Kin

Type: Anti-Unit, Anti-Mind, Anti-Team

Rank: B

Father Hermes, I call upon our blood and ask for your favor: let these curs who betrayed and murdered me know the pain of treachery and blood from those they hold dearest! May my hatred and vengeance endure eternal!

As he sank into the depths of the sea, Myrtilos called upon his father Hermes, God of Messengers, and laid a mighty curse on Pelops that, while missing Pelops himself, cursed his kin in generations to come, from Atreus serving up his brother Thyestes's children in stew to Agamemnon sacrificing his own daughter to Orestes murdering his mother Clytemnestra, who in turn had murdered her husband Agamemnon. Always active in a passive state, the noble phantasm at the very least boosts the effect of the Avenger skill by draining energy from enemies who damage him.

However, the true power is awakened when Avenger dies by placing a terrible curse on whoever slayed him. The curse will not directly affect the killer but will remain present in the target. Anyone who is connected to the target by friendship or kinship and remains within five feet of the individual for at least two hours can be infected by the curse, which will then enter its active threat stage. At this point, the curse will cause engender strife, hate, and violence between the infected individual(s) and their close friends and kin, potentially to the point of murder if not stopped.

Worse, the curse is incredibly virulent, and anyone infected with the active curse can pass on an active copy to their kin and friends; the only godsend is that the level of the curse gradually reduces with each generation of transmission. Anyone exposed to infection by the curse, whether the initial target or later victims, can reject the curse with an equal level of Magic Resistance or Luck, but doing so will only protect that individual, not others infected as well.

I'm always trying to improve, so feedback is greatly appreciated!

[Shiki-pon]

So since Oinomaos and Myrtilos share a similar background and connection to each other, they've fused into one? The sheet's premise is interesting, though the mechanics of their fusion could be elaborated upon more. Oinomaos himself might qualify for a Lancer too, I recall him skewering people he caught up to on his chariot.
As for the sheet's mechanics, Mad Enhancement doesn't seem to be the right choice if it's mood swings or a fragmented personality you're after, whereas either Mental Pollution or Contradictory Mind might fit better. The rest is fitting and the Noble Phantasms are quite interesting. It's a bit of a shame, however, that both of the NPs appear to be Myrtilos', so Oinomaus feels a little tacked on (given that his only contribution to the sheet is Aesthetics of the Last Spurt, which could just as well be Myrtilos', owing to the fact that he drove the chariot).

[Cataquack Warrior]

Thanks for the feedback, @Shiki-pon. You're right, Mental Pollution makes more sense; I'll replace Mad Enhancement with that.

You have a point about Oinomaos getting the short end of the stick. I could have just made it Myrtilos's, but I liked the idea of the two legends being fused together, especially since the two individuals hate each other. Unfortunately, Oinomaos gets the short end of the legend. Though I did just realize that Oinomaos also had partial divinity, so I can make note of that in the sheet.

...Actually, I think I might have an idea on how to improve things on Oinomaos's end! Reading up on him online (he's also called Oenomaus), it appears that, at least according to some traditions, he was posthumously considered a founder of the original Olympic Games, in that the first games were started in memory of his last race (perhaps to appease his spirit, or otherwise to celebrate Pelops's victory), and in that the Olympic altars to Zeus stood in Oinomaos's old house, since he used to sacrifice to Zeus before taking to his chariot for each race. So maybe there could be a third noble phantasm related to that? I'm not exactly sure how it would work - getting a stat boost or lightning/flame empowerment reflecting the blessings of Zeus, maybe? - so any ideas on how to approach that?

Though I'm a little confused how you thought Myrtilos was driving the chariot; from how I understood it, Myrtilos's title meant that he in essence tended to the chariot and horses whenever the king wasn't racing; if he actually rode on the chariot, he would have been hurt by the sabotage, too.

Edit: Sorry the whole thing with the fusion wasn't the clearest. I was sort of inspired by how Jack is a fusion of multiple ghosts, and how sometimes the legends affect one's form, like how Vlad got burdened with vampire traits. I wasn't entirely sure how it would work, but basically I felt that since the two basically assumed the same legend, that of being the ghost haunting the Olympic Games, they could be considered a single Servant - kind of an inverse of the situation Fate/Zero's Assassin had. Any thoughts on how I can clarify things?

[Shiki-pon]

Thanks for the feedback, @Shiki-pon. You're right, Mental Pollution makes more sense; I'll replace Mad Enhancement with that. You have a point about Oinomaos getting the short end of the stick. I could have just made it Myrtilos's, but I liked the idea of the two legends being fused together, especially since the two individuals hate each other. Unfortunately, Oinomaos gets the short end of the legend. Though I did just realize that Oinomaos also had partial divinity, so I can make note of that in the sheet. ...Actually, I think I might have an idea on how to improve things on Oinomaos's end. Reading up on him online (he's also called Oenomaus), it appears that, at least according to some traditions, he was posthumously considered a founder of the original Olympic Games, in that the first games were started in memory of his last race (perhaps to appease his spirit, or otherwise to celebrate Pelops's victory), and in that the Olympic altars to Zeus stood in Oinomaos's old house, since he used to sacrifice to Zeus before taking to his chariot for each race. So maybe there could be a third noble phantasm related to that? I'm not exactly sure how it would work - getting a stat boost or lightning/flame empowerment reflecting the blessings of Zeus, maybe? - so any ideas on how to approach that? Though I'm a little confused how you thought Myrtilos was driving the chariot; from how I understood it, Myrtilos's title meant that he in essence tended to the chariot and horses whenever the king wasn't racing; if he actually rode on the chariot, he would have been hurt by the sabotage, too.

I seem to recall Myrtilos being Oinomaos' charioteer (as in guy who steers the chariot while also acting as the ancient equivalent of a mechanic), but I suppose he wouldn't be present for the 1-on-1 chariot race's to the death. The Olympic Games were started as a kind of appeasement to Oinomaos, if memory serves. The entire concept of the Olympic Games would be hard to make into a Noble Phantasm, though (which is precisely why I went with a more general Skill for my Pelops).

[Cataquack Warrior]

I seem to recall Myrtilos being Oinomaos' charioteer (as in guy who steers the chariot while also acting as the ancient equivalent of a mechanic), but I suppose he wouldn't be present for the 1-on-1 chariot race's to the death. The Olympic Games were started as a kind of appeasement to Oinomaos, if memory serves. The entire concept of the Olympic Games would be hard to make into a Noble Phantasm, though (which is precisely why I went with a more general Skill for my Pelops).

Maybe just a noble phantasm or even a skill based on getting a blessing from Zeus, since the altars to Zeus were in what was said to be the king's old house, and he made a habit of doing tribute to Zeus before entering the races. Maybe something that temporarily boosts Avenger's stats and his Riding, letting him briefly overcome his impairment? Do you think that could work?