Create-A-Servant 2

[the god of world-0]

the first NP's BB code seems to have a little mistake, but i like the sheet, cremation secrament is very cool.
any opnions on my last two sheets, i am specialy curios of what you think of Rider since she was spiritualy inspired by your Caster Elizabeth.

[Crying]

I wish Daneel had an index for their stuff... ugh. Anyway;

Little Red Riding Hood: Its good to see that you've formatted your sheets now, it makes it much easier to read. It would also help to do stuff like capitalize, punctuate, spellcheck, etc... but its usually pretty understandable. Anyway, mixing the character from the fairy tale with the urban legend from Fuyuki is fairly clever but the sheet itself is kind of odd. Looks of Pitifulness is cool, but Animal Dialogue is a little boring and Happy Ending is just strange. Her Noble Phantasms aren't too interesting - one summons teh Big Bad Wolf and the other turns her into a spooky ghost. I agree with 34 when he says that The Hallway probably doesn't deserve A-Rank. Overall this is a marked improvement but it could still use plenty of work.

Queen of Pirates: Interesting, but flawed. Act of Audacity is a really weird Skill in both concept and effect while her other Skills are expected for a pirate Servant. Her first NP is a 'ship summon' thats rather vague about what it can actually do beyond 'summon some ships that act like ships' and also doesn't seem to deserve an A-Rank. Her second NP is a neat coreplaced by ncept, but doesn't really fit together very well - the first part of it (immunity to royalty-based/derived Skills) seems like it could just be replaced by Nature of a Rebellious Spirit and the second part seems overly strong for such an obscure Servant. As before, this is an improvement over your last sheet but could still use some work.

Devil's Sailor: Again, interesting but flawed. The basis of his character (a mixture of Davy Jones, the Jolly Roger and Vander Decker) is strange since at least two of those seem like they would be famous enough to qualify as Heroic Spirits, but whatever. The fact that he doesn't have Pirates Honour is strange considering one of his components is "the spirit of piracy". Him having Voyager of the Storms at EX-Rank isn't too bad actually, I don't mind that, but his Golden Rule having a unique (Abyss) attached to it seems unnecessary unless it actually behaves differently than normal Golden Rule. The Locker seems like it should be a Noble Phantasm - oh, and it would be nice if what it actually does could be explained too. Based on its description, the Flying Dutchmen doesn't seem to come anywhere close to warranting an EX-Rank. The fact that he's an Avenger, instead of just a particularly jerkass Rider, is rather odd considering he doesn't actually seem to classify for that Class at all - he's completely unrelated to the concept of vengeance. Still, a good effort and another improvement over your previous sheet.

Turpin: Why do I keep seeing that 'Weak to Enuma Elish' trait popping up everywhere? Anyway, I'm a little dissapointed to not see Baptism Rite since its a hugely underused Skill but Cremation Sacrament is cool too. I still hate the Incitement Skill (its literally just Charisma) but thats a personal thing, not a problem with your sheet. Oath of the Protector seems like it could be replaced with Dignity of the Rearguards and maybe Guardian Knight, but it doesn't particularly matter. Royd was right when they said that Almace seems like a bit of a ripoff of Arondight - and, of course, the 2nd NP/version lets him use a swordlaser because we always need more of those. For all the personality stuff, however, I have no complaints to make. Maybe because I know nothing of the character.

[RoydGolden]

I still hate the Incitement Skill (its literally just Charisma) but thats a personal thing, not a problem with your sheet.

Incitement strikes me as a more "populist" variant of Charisma, but you're right that it doesn't always seem so clearly distinguished.

[34]

Based on Caesar's profile, I think Incitement might represents him more as a 'skilled orator' than 'great leader'.

[Nuclear]

Cremation Sacrament: B
Combining what was originally a rite given to the deceased; it has now been transformed into a combat technique.

Fwiw this is incorrect; the Catholic Church only permitted cremation as a means of preserving dead bodies in 1963. Furthermore, the only rite given to dead people is a Mass and some blessings, but this animeland so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Bird of Hermes]

Turpin: Why do I keep seeing that 'Weak to Enuma Elish' trait popping up everywhere? Anyway, I'm a little dissapointed to not see Baptism Rite since its a hugely underused Skill but Cremation Sacrament is cool too. I still hate the Incitement Skill (its literally just Charisma) but thats a personal thing, not a problem with your sheet. Oath of the Protector seems like it could be replaced with Dignity of the Rearguards and maybe Guardian Knight, but it doesn't particularly matter. Royd was right when they said that Almace seems like a bit of a ripoff of Arondight - and, of course, the 2nd NP/version lets him use a swordlaser because we always need more of those. For all the personality stuff, however, I have no complaints to make. Maybe because I know nothing of the character.

Fwiw this is incorrect; the Catholic Church only permitted cremation as a means of preserving dead bodies in 1963. Furthermore, the only rite given to dead people is a Mass and some blessings, but this animeland so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alright, I think I've addressed everything in the changes just now, main NP is a bit less Lancelot-y now.

-EDIT-

the first NP's BB code seems to have a little mistake, but i like the sheet, cremation secrament is very cool.
any opnions on my last two sheets, i am specialy curios of what you think of Rider since she was spiritualy inspired by your Caster Elizabeth.

With Grace O'Malley, she's an interesting one though a few things. Act of Audacity seems like it should just be replaced by Nature of a Rebellious Spirit as they both have the same basis behind them. With the first NP, it's just a simple ship summon with no real special ability. I'd recommend it being like Queen Anne's Revenge, an initial low rank but boosted under certain conditions. For example, B+, with power boosting when up against a more powerful enemy. I think with the second NP, it's nice there's an NP that isn't a ship summon but I don't think you should have the immunity to royal based stuff, just focus on the bonus damage against kings and skill seal aspect.

Anyways, glad the Caster Elizabeth inspired you!

[venomking]

Hey heremes are there any rules for or against creating a new class for servants on this forum? as I'm doing a fan fiction which will be done in a compel of months and I created a new class for it, and would like to create a servant under that class to see how peaple like the idea of the class.

[Crying]

Hey heremes are there any rules for or against creating a new class for servants on this forum? as I'm doing a fan fiction which will be done in a compel of months and I created a new class for it, and would like to create a servant under that class to see how peaple like the idea of the class.

There are no rules against it. People have done it before and, apart from some questions regarding what the class actually is (what qualifies a Servant to be part of it is one of the key questions) there weren't any complaints about them. Of course, people didn't exactly go crazy over them and start using them for their own Servants, either. Apart from maybe the Striker class from the old thread.

[venomking]

Alright , well before I make the sheet I think it smart to give a brief explanation of the class in Easton as it would proffide better feed back. So the class I'm creating is the trickster class, simpler to avenger it replaces the caster class. The requisite for becoming part of the trickster class is not one who broke rules in there life, but rather someone who through out their life turned to the rules to there advantage by acting upon every possible loop hole, as well as being someone who committed greate treacherous. For example Loki or lucifer. The class skills are

trickery: a skill representing the act of not breaking the rules, but rather acting on loop holes. Servants with this skill can possess personal skills at higher ranks then normal, and possess a resistance to command skills. Those With B can Completly null orders given command skills by acting on every loop wheel requiring two command seals to force obedience each rank increases the resistance to more then one command seal.

Mischief: this skill denotes a servants ability to cause mischief, parameters in luck and mana are increased based upon rank in class skill, and personel skills that are assessets in chasing mischief are Increased in the same way, thou utilsyseing this skill cuases a servant to gain micheivues personality which can inhibit there ability to fight properly, the greater the rank the more the urge to chase mischief increases for the servant.

So now I'll get to work on the servant for this class.

[Criarino]

I was thinking in a sheet about the bandeirantes for a while now, but don't know if I will write it... All the energy I had was used in that mage sheet posted yesterday...

[Bird of Hermes]

Alright , well before I make the sheet I think it smart to give a brief explanation of the class in Easton as it would proffide better feed back. So the class I'm creating is the trickster class, simpler to avenger it replaces the caster class. The requisite for becoming part of the trickster class is not one who broke rules in there life, but rather someone who through out their life turned to the rules to there advantage by acting upon every possible loop hole, as well as being someone who committed greate treacherous. For example Loki or lucifer. The class skills are

trickery: a skill representing the act of not breaking the rules, but rather acting on loop holes. Servants with this skill can possess personal skills at higher ranks then normal, and possess a resistance to command skills. Those With B can Completly null orders given command skills by acting on every loop wheel requiring two command seals to force obedience each rank increases the resistance to more then one command seal.

Mischief: this skill denotes a servants ability to cause mischief, parameters in luck and mana are increased based upon rank in class skill, and personel skills that are assessets in chasing mischief are Increased in the same way, thou utilsyseing this skill cuases a servant to gain micheivues personality which can inhibit there ability to fight properly, the greater the rank the more the urge to chase mischief increases for the servant.

So now I'll get to work on the servant for this class.

In my opinion it would be easier to make a personal skill and call it Silver Tongue or something.

[venomking]

Ee
"Ah, master your not as disgusting as the rest of YOUR kind, I soppose. Now let us reek havok."

True name: lucifer Morningstar.
Class: Trickster.
Alightment: chaotic evil.
Place of origin: Europe.
Catalyst: the drop of his blood kept inside the clock tower.

paramters:
strength: C.
agility: B-.
Mana: A.
Luck: EX.
Endurance: C.
NP: A++

Likes: April fools, pranks, jokes, mischief, misfortune, trickery, yesterday, and wine(thou Sakai would suffice I suppose.)
dislikes: priest(except for that kotomine fellow,i like him.) misconceptions, unintellgence, boredom.
Natural enemies: the savior class, God, Michael, Gabriel.
Armament: ancient dagger which appears to be enhanced with high level magecraft.

Backstory: once God's right hand man, buetifull and greate to all the angels when told that he must obey and protect such inferior creatures as human. He immediately denied valiantly against having to serve such insects, but for some reason he could understand my, err his logic, thus the stubborn old fool just wouldn't listen to him and cats him to earth to live out his life with those insects. Of course he would show him the error of his ways by proving just how disgusting and inferior humans were, not because he found it amusing to torture such humans, after all amusement is bellow such a powerful being.

Personality: everything you could dream of Hansom, intelligent, witty. Far above the insects that keep festering around me err him. in other words perfect in every way!

class skills:

trickery:
rank: C+
trickester is commabil of resisting most orders or turning orders around on the master by utislysing any loop hole in his masters command. Also his personal skille are + rank higher then they would normally be.

mischeif, A.
Parameters in mana and are increased by a +, as well his rank in illusion and corruption of innocence are increased in the same way, thou when this skill is active his die sire to cuase mischief become uncontrollable, and can interfere in his ability to properly fight and opponent.

Personel skills:

Mephistopheles familiar.
rank: A+.
mephistopheles acts in the absolute interest of trickster thou is not used for battle, but rather fuast grants the wishes of civilians who upon completion of the wish are turned into scources of mana for trickster.

Divine art of magecraft
Rank: A
A skill denoting tricksters ability to utislysing any curse, or magic at its highest level by combing high speed incarnation, with divine words. This skill often confuses peaple into thinking he is a caster but rather trickster are usefully powerful mages as well, and trickster amidnts the skill would be much higher ranked if he were in the caster class.

corruption of innocence.
rank: B+.
A skill denoting tricksters having been someone who persuaded incocnecnt peaple to commit atrocious crimes, when activated those who do not posses mental pollution or other forms of mental resistencia of the same of the skill are is stanly encouraged to point of almost being mind countrol led to commmit an atrocious act of some form.

Illusion.
Rank: C.
He can create illusions that are realistic enough to make it impossible to tell what is real, thou he can only create illusions about the size of himself, he tends to sue it to hide magic based traps. thou any rank in presence detection renders this skill useless.

Descerment of the poor.
Rank: A.
Trickster will not fall for deception throu words or appearance.

NP.

Devilis trick.
title: the greatest trick the devil ever pulled.
Rank: B.
A noble phantasm crystallizing the famous phrase, when activated all information about him is forgotten his skills, NPs, and even identity are forgotten as well for 20 seconds he gains he rank C in presence detection allowing him to escape thou information is rembered upon figuring out his identity, but this would be diifcult as it places a curse that causes servants who do not pass a mental resistance check of B or higher to be unable to fathom the idea that lucifer could ever be summoned as servant and Completly disregard any information to the contrary, however if is bond with his master is not high enough it may also affect his master.

devils deal
rank: A++.
Titke: corrupted deal with the fallen angel.
Lthou lucifer himself had never granted any wishes he had fuast to do so once, creating the idea that devil granted wishes in exchange for ones soul, when activated Mephistopheles will appear and act as an envoy of lucifer, the servants May use mephestofeles to make a deal with trickster, if trickster completes what is requested that servant enters a dirt if mid scape or illusionary hell were they must fight there worst fears in order to escape or can choose the easy way, entering a mental heaven were everything they ever wanted is achieved although not really thou the cost being they can never leave, while there in this mind scape or Illuisonary trap of sorts there bodies become the complete slaves of trickster and must follow his orders to the letter. Although mephestofeles had nothing to do with trickster in real, due to human misconception the idea that events of fuast had to do lucifer was forever in grained, so the mephestofeles used is not the real one but rather a copy of him.

[RoydGolden]

Lucifer: Who on earth is "Fuast"? Assuming you meant Faust, he's the guy who made a deal with the demon in the titular story, not the demon himself. The demon's name was Mephistopheles.

[Hakuro]

And since Mephisto is canon and stuff, Nasuverse Faust probably doesn't have any link with Lucifer

[venomking]

Ok fixed it, sorry got the names mixed up. The idea is that the noble phantasm is based on the play which is likely what created the idea of the devil making deals for people's souls

[RoydGolden]

Ok fixed it, sorry got the names mixed up. The idea is that the noble phantasm is based on the play which is likely what created the idea of the devil making deals for people's souls

Hate to say it, but that you apparently got such basic information mixed up bodes rather ill of your capability as a history teacher...

[Historia]

not really

[venomking]

I've been under a lot of stress, bills and such, decided to let my grand kid drive my car, needless to say I regret that choice now.

[sherlock1110]

This one probably

The Williams Servant created in FGO comes across to me as pathetic, they couldn't come up with much in the way of interesting ideas from the witch trials so instead went "Shit better add Cthulu". So she might as well not be Abigail Williams she might as well be someone completely different, instead she is a completely different person called Abigail Williams which just seems like a big ol' cop-out.

[Nuclear]

Cthulhu mythos was a mistake

.