Create-A-Servant 2

[Shiki-pon]

"Fear"

"Doubt" might be more inclusive and closer to distrust. I guess from a certain point of view that could work as a sort of fear too.

[You]

Like srsly ppl the evils of humanity for the Beasts are just the seven deadly sins but phrased and conceptualized a bit nasu-y

Pity = Pride
Rapture = Lust
Comparison = Envy

From current evidence I'm pretty sure the remaining evils will have to do with wrath, gluttony, sloth, and greed but with a nasu twist

[King of Padoru]

What about "Regression"? I guess it's Wrath because Tiamat is so mad but feels off to me

[You]

What about "Regression"? I guess it's Wrath because Tiamat is so mad but feels off to me

i forgot about tiamat,
sloth, giving up on moving forward and wanting to go back

[King of Padoru]

Nice

[Historia]

Updated gudrun and lostbelts jeanne

I added more to each of their noble phantasms. Still figuring an effect for jeanne's new one.

[pinetree]

Like srsly ppl the evils of humanity for the Beasts are just the seven deadly sins but phrased and conceptualized a bit nasu-y

Pity = Pride
Rapture = Lust
Comparison = Envy

From current evidence I'm pretty sure the remaining evils will have to do with wrath, gluttony, sloth, and greed but with a nasu twist

I was going to say that's boring and overused but I liked it before realizing it's just the seven deadly sins so good job Nasu, you nasufied them enough.

[asterism42]

Like srsly ppl the evils of humanity for the Beasts are just the seven deadly sins but phrased and conceptualized a bit nasu-y

Pity = Pride
Rapture = Lust
Comparison = Envy

From current evidence I'm pretty sure the remaining evils will have to do with wrath, gluttony, sloth, and greed but with a nasu twist

Doesn't KH mention that one of the evils is 'regret'?

Also I think I might have read somewhere that Beast VI is 'greed'. Not all that sure about that, though.

[King of Padoru]

Maybe regret could be greed, like when you regret rolling the gacha to get nothing but you keep rolling because you want that 5-star although you know your luck is shit

[You]

Beast 666 is definitely greed

[RoydGolden]

I still hope we get a Beast associated with the Industrial Revolution (maybe James Watt?) for "

Gluttony

Consumption

". Because, when we're talking about evils of humanity, over-consuming nature's resources is kind of a biggie.

[Spartacus]

Somehow regret feels Wrathy to me. Like, regret leaving something to humanity causing stupid thing happens to make the Beast angry toward humanity? Sounds like a pantheon god kind of things.

But, eh, speculation.

[SleepMode]

I still hope we get a Beast associated with the Industrial Revolution (maybe James Watt?) for "

Gluttony

Consumption

". Because, when we're talking about evils of humanity, over-consuming nature's resources is kind of a biggie.

As they say in Economics, "Human Needs and Wants are Infinite."

[RoydGolden]

Somehow regret feels Wrathy to me. Like, regret leaving something to humanity causing stupid thing happens to make the Beast angry toward humanity? Sounds like a pantheon god kind of things.

But, eh, speculation.

I just got the strange idea that the Beast of Regret could be Adam or Eve, wanting to undo all of mankind's

sin

development

and return to Eden. Then again, that might be a bit too similar to Tiamat or Goetia...

[Shiki-pon]

Trying to bring this thread back on topic...

FC
Servant Class: Caster
Alternate Classes: Rider
True Name: Koschey the Deathless
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Origin: Slavic Folklore

Parameters:
STR: C
END: E
AGI: D
MANA: B
LUCK: E
NP: B

Skills

Class Skills:

Territory Creation - Rank B++: If certain conditions are fulfilled, it is possible to create an ‘Island of Buyan’ instead of a conventional workshop. In addition to Territory Creation’s normal effects, while on the ‘Island of Buyan’, all of Koschey’s parameters receive a rank-up.

Item Construction - Rank B-: Due to Koschey’s viewpoint, it is only possible to create magical items related to traps or protection.

Personal Skills:

Monstrous Strength - Rank C+: A Skill that temporarily grants a rank-up to one's Strength parameter for a time limit determined by the ranking of this Skill.

Witchcraft - Rank A+: As a Witch capable of removing his own concept of death from his body, Koschey has access to outstanding Witchcraft. It has multiple uses, among them the ability to conjure weather, to transform oneself and to charm others.

Noble Phantasms

“I. Am. Immortal. No less so than than the sky, or the earth, or the endless void beyond the stars. Like water I ebb and flow, never stopping, never faltering, never dying. I am Koschey the Deathless, and I am forever.”
Бессмертный (Bessmertnyy)
Death Contained within the Needle
Anti-Unit (Self), Rank A++

An immortality-granting Noble Phantasm and Koschey’s trump card. In life, he extracted his concept of death from his body, hiding it on a drifting island. With his concept of death removed, Koschey proved to be completely immortal as long as his concept of death remained safe. As a Servant, however, the ability’s strength is lessened. Upon activation, Koschey can remove his Spiritual Core without harm to his Servant body, allowing him to sustain materialization no matter the distance to his Spiritual Core, as long as said Spiritual Core is intact.
Should Koschey’s body be completely destroyed, it will reform fully around his Spiritual Core, as long as the core remains intact. Should someone get hold of Koschey’s Spiritual Core, however, they would find themselves in more or less complete control over Koschey.
As a side-effect of this Noble Phantasm, Koschey is remarkably weak towards methods used with the intent to capture him.

Буя́н (Buyan)
The Ephemeral Island
Barrier, Rank A

A mysterious island situated in the ocean, with the ability to appear and disappear with the tide. If Koschey can gain access to the ocean shore, he can summon the island of Buyan to himself.
Once claimed using ‘Territory Creation’, Buyan will sustain Koschey with its abundant Mana, essentially granting him ‘Independent Action’ at Rank A+ while he or his Spiritual Core is on it. In addition, all of Koschey’s spells cast upon the island are sustained for free.

Description

Likes: Young women, stimulation
Dislikes: Boredom, heroes
Talents: Cheating death, contradictory reasoning
Natural Enemy: Ivan Tsarevich, Baba Yaga
Height: 214 cm
Weight: 50 kg
Weapon: Sword

In contrast to the villainous womanizer shown in legends, Koschey is actually rather low-key. Koschey suffers from a bone-deep ennui, born of worry that the immortality that he sought isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Thanks to the information that the Grail grants to summoned Servants, he knows much more of the world than he did in life, which has brought doubts to his mind. An immortal being would eventually succumb to boredom, having experienced all that the world has to offer. Thus, he spends most of his time thinking, pondering his fate.
As such, usually Koschey will simply sit around, perhaps using his abilities to observe the goings-on of the world, seeking something to occupy his attention, not even bothering to use his Noble Phantasm to preserve himself. He will still remain even if his temporary vessel is destroyed, so any additional effort on his part is meaningless (or so he has convinced himself).

However, the person his legend was based on still exists inside Koschey, waiting to be roused. Should something rouse his interest, this part of his character would inevitably be brought forth, showing the ‘true’ face of Koschey the Deathless. There is virtually no chance that participating in a Holy Grail War wouldn’t pique his curiosity and rouse him from his ennui. Never-before seen magics, weapons both holy and demonic, gorgeous women and insolent heroes are a Holy Grail War’s stock and trade, after all.
This Koschey seeks simply to enjoy life. And outside of womanizing, he enjoys crushing heroes most of all, especially those that would prevent him from doing what he wills. He is completely willing to utilize underhanded tactics in battle, and the outrage it provokes in heroes simply brings him more joy. Outside of a direct threat to his weakness, he is supremely arrogant, caring little for even Noble Phantasms targeted at him. After all, he won’t be killed.
In addition, as existence has once again proven itself worthwhile, Koschey will do his utmost to keep his spiritual core safe, so he can enjoy the world for all its worth. Once properly motivated, Koschey will immediately activate his primary Noble Phantasm, and if at all possible, will hide his spiritual core on the island of Buyan, laying as many protective magics upon it as he can. Failing this, he will instead seek another location he deems secure enough, using his abilities as a Caster to make it even more so.

In both his moods, Koschey craves stimulation most of all, something to occupy his interest and give him hope that his ennui can be kept at bay. Thus, his wish to the Holy Grail would most likely take the form of a world that he can explore for eternity. He would not wish for immortality, seeing as he has already achieved that by himself.

Lore

In Slavic folklore, Koschey the Deathless appears as an antagonist, known for his titular characteristic: his inability to die. However, his immortality was not foolproof. It was said that when Koschei cast the magical spell to protect and defend himself, he accidentally left room for error. Should someone get their hands on Koschey’s death, they would hold the key to slaying him instantly.

[pinetree]

I still hope we get a Beast associated with the Industrial Revolution (maybe James Watt?) for "

Gluttony

Consumption

". Because, when we're talking about evils of humanity, over-consuming nature's resources is kind of a biggie.

Advancing human civilization is good though, specially in the Fate series, there's no way they're going to make someone involved in that advancement a Beast, those are the Stars.

[RoydGolden]

Advancing human civilization is good though, specially in the Fate series, there's no way they're going to make someone involved in that advancement a Beast, those are the Stars.

What if it's advancing to the point of losing the things that made you human to begin with, though? I doubt Nasu approves of that, especially given what happened to the Russia Lostbelt.

And I'm not saying it'd be the historical Watt as a Beast, but maybe an Alter version of him? I think the idea is interesting, in any case.

[Kabalisto Koga]

Trying to bring this thread back on topic...

FC
Servant Class: Caster
Alternate Classes: Rider
True Name: Koschey the Deathless
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Origin: Slavic Folklore

Parameters:
STR: C
END: E
AGI: D
MANA: B
LUCK: E
NP: B

Skills

Class Skills:

Territory Creation - Rank B++: If certain conditions are fulfilled, it is possible to create an ‘Island of Buyan’ instead of a conventional workshop. In addition to Territory Creation’s normal effects, while on the ‘Island of Buyan’, all of Koschey’s parameters receive a rank-up.

Item Construction - Rank B-: Due to Koschey’s viewpoint, it is only possible to create magical items related to traps or protection.

Personal Skills:

Monstrous Strength - Rank C+: A Skill that temporarily grants a rank-up to one's Strength parameter for a time limit determined by the ranking of this Skill.

Witchcraft - Rank A+: As a Witch capable of removing his own concept of death from his body, Koschey has access to outstanding Witchcraft. It has multiple uses, among them the ability to conjure weather, to transform oneself and to charm others.

Noble Phantasms

“I. Am. Immortal. No less so than than the sky, or the earth, or the endless void beyond the stars. Like water I ebb and flow, never stopping, never faltering, never dying. I am Koschey the Deathless, and I am forever.”
Бессмертный:
Death Contained within the Needle
Anti-Unit (Self), Rank A++

An immortality-granting Noble Phantasm and Koschey’s trump card. In life, he extracted his concept of death from his body, hiding it on a drifting island. With his concept of death removed, Koschey proved to be completely immortal as long as his concept of death remained safe. As a Servant, however, the ability’s strength is lessened. Upon activation, Koschey can remove his Spiritual Core without harm to his Servant body, allowing him to sustain materialization no matter the distance to his Spiritual Core, as long as said Spiritual Core is intact.
Should Koschey’s body be completely destroyed, it will reform fully around his Spiritual Core, as long as the core remains intact. Should someone get hold of Koschey’s Spiritual Core, however, they would find themselves in more or less complete control over Koschey.
As a side-effect of this Noble Phantasm, Koschey is remarkably weak towards methods used with the intent to capture him.

Буя́н: The Ephemeral Island
Barrier, Rank A

A mysterious island situated in the ocean, with the ability to appear and disappear with the tide. If Koschey can gain access to the ocean shore, he can summon the island of Buyan to himself.
Once claimed using ‘Territory Creation’, Buyan will sustain Koschey with its abundant Mana, essentially granting him ‘Independent Action’ at Rank A+ while he or his Spiritual Core is on it. In addition, all of Koschey’s spells cast upon the island are sustained for free.

Description

Likes: Young women, stimulation
Dislikes: Boredom, heroes
Talents: Cheating death, contradictory reasoning
Natural Enemy: Ivan Tsarevich, Baba Yaga
Height: 214 cm
Weight: 50 kg
Weapon: Sword

In contrast to the villainous womanizer shown in legends, Koschey is actually rather low-key. Koschey suffers from a bone-deep ennui, born of worry that the immortality that he sought isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Thanks to the information that the Grail grants to summoned Servants, he knows much more of the world than he did in life, which has brought doubts to his mind. An immortal being would eventually succumb to boredom, having experienced all that the world has to offer. Thus, he spends most of his time thinking, pondering his fate.
As such, usually Koschey will simply sit around, perhaps using his abilities to observe the goings-on of the world, seeking something to occupy his attention, not even bothering to use his Noble Phantasm to preserve himself. He will still remain even if his temporary vessel is destroyed, so any additional effort on his part is meaningless (or so he has convinced himself).

However, the person his legend was based on still exists inside Koschey, waiting to be roused. Should something rouse his interest, this part of his character would inevitably be brought forth, showing the ‘true’ face of Koschey the Deathless. There is virtually no chance that participating in a Holy Grail War wouldn’t pique his curiosity and rouse him from his ennui. Never-before seen magics, weapons both holy and demonic, gorgeous women and insolent heroes are a Holy Grail War’s stock and trade, after all.
This Koschey seeks simply to enjoy life. And outside of womanizing, he enjoys crushing heroes most of all, especially those that would prevent him from doing what he wills. He is completely willing to utilize underhanded tactics in battle, and the outrage it provokes in heroes simply brings him more joy. Outside of a direct threat to his weakness, he is supremely arrogant, caring little for even Noble Phantasms targeted at him. After all, he won’t be killed.
In addition, as existence has once again proven itself worthwhile, Koschey will do his utmost to keep his spiritual core safe, so he can enjoy the world for all its worth. Once properly motivated, Koschey will immediately activate his primary Noble Phantasm, and if at all possible, will hide his spiritual core on the island of Buyan, laying as many protective magics upon it as he can. Failing this, he will instead seek another location he deems secure enough, using his abilities as a Caster to make it even more so.

In both his moods, Koschey craves stimulation most of all, something to occupy his interest and give him hope that his ennui can be kept at bay. Thus, his wish to the Holy Grail would most likely take the form of a world that he can explore for eternity. He would not wish for immortality, seeing as he has already achieved that by himself.

Lore

In Slavic folklore, Koschey the Deathless appears as an antagonist, known for his titular characteristic: his inability to die. However, his immortality was not foolproof. It was said that when Koschei cast the magical spell to protect and defend himself, he accidentally left room for error. Should someone get their hands on Koschey’s death, they would hold the key to slaying him instantly.

Very Good Profile Shi8i-pon ! Creative ^3 i must say ,i have three Question :First: How is Бессмертный and Буя́н pronounced ?Second :How is the exact cabalitiy range and Variation of his Witchcraft?Third: which abilities and Mounts would he has as Rider? PS:Thanks for your attempt ! and what do you say to my final Avenger ?

[King of Padoru]

I've never heard about Koschey until now (had to do a quick research), but the sheet is awesome. You've done a very good job with him. I'd have specified the measures of security he'd take to secure his core, like the needle in an egg in a duck in a hare in a chest buried under a tree in the island, but that's a minor detail

[Shiki-pon]

Very Good Profile Shi8i-pon ! Creative ^3 i must say ,i have three Question :First: How is Бессмертный and Буя́н pronounced ?Second :How is the exact cabalitiy range and Variation of his Witchcraft?Third: which abilities and Mounts would he has as Rider? PS:Thanks for your attempt ! and what do you say to my final Avenger ?

You do know that you could just copypaste those into Google Translate and be done with it, right? But since it appears you can't do research yourself, they're transliterated as Bessmertnyy and Buyan, more or less.
Define variation. His range for combat uses is stuff he can see (a.k.a. his immediate vicinity, though I guess he could cheat with clairvoyance or something), and for other uses the range varies.
As for your Avenger Goliath, he is still the travesty everyone's decried him as thus far. And though I know I'm beating my head against a brick wall here, you have to start taking other people's suggestions into account and start comparing your stuff to the established canon Servants.
Edit: Oh right, the Rider thing. His NP would still be Bessmertnyy. He'd just be more melee-oriented than the Caster version, and his mount would be some sort of horsey Phantasmal Beast.

I've never heard about Koschey until now (had to do a quick research), but the sheet is awesome. You've done a very good job with him. I'd have specified the measures of security he'd take to secure his core, like the needle in an egg in a duck in a hare in a chest buried under a tree in the island, but that's a minor detail

I figured that he might be willing to switch things up a bit in terms of security. After all, if somebody found his name out, they'd probably be able to look up his security measures from the legend, which isn't very secure.