Mystic Eyes are usually listed as Skills, though. Even King Skeleton's MEoDP is still a Skill, and he can kill literal concepts.
The point is the Evil Eyes seem really basic for a goddess's NP, not to mention kind of boring.
Mystic Eyes are usually listed as Skills, though. Even King Skeleton's MEoDP is still a Skill, and he can kill literal concepts.
The point is the Evil Eyes seem really basic for a goddess's NP, not to mention kind of boring.
Well, Assassin!Shiki has MEoDP as her NP though...Originally Posted by Express
And King Hassan's ME is apparently different from MEoDP.
Why is her NP's name in Greek?
*facepalm*
damn, i messed up. renamed it, thanks for pointing it out
Last edited by 34; August 20th, 2017 at 09:59 AM.
I call em sleeping pills, there really just something that gets me to be third enouogh to sleep, anyways I just woke up and coffee so I'll fix while I'm getting breakfast ready. Good old bacon eggs sausage steak and ham with an apple.
Ok edited, and breakfast is almost done.
He could probably use some kind of Pankration based Skill...
Oh, I'll do that after I eat, thou on second thought proabbably shouldn't have made so much. Since my wife isn't comeing home for another hour.
Ok added it as skill, couldn't think of discretion so just kinda gave a basic of what it is.
Shouldn't it be pygmachia instead since he was specifically a champion boxer and not a mixed martial artist which was what Prankration was more about?
You should switch out Instinct for Eye of the Mind (True) instead. Eye of the Mind (True) is more about having the intuition to overcome challenges through having so much actual practice and experience which is more appropriate for a consummate Athlete who specifically developed a style that does not use his full power. Especially if you're going to cut out actually sensing bloodlust from Instinct in the 1st place.
Having a C rank is fine though considering his reputation. Still don't understand what this Servant is suppose to contribute to a actual HGW.
Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; August 20th, 2017 at 02:06 PM.
Frick, that's my own fault (always get those two mixed up in my head). Though I still reckon venomking should've caught it, especially since I correctly named it as Pygmachia on the previous page...
Yea I don't know why I didn't catch honestly thou it was probbably cuase I was hungry.
ill fix everything latter. I'm not at my best today.
Is there anything else I should fix in my Invidia sheet?
Servant Lancer:
Appearance:
Source is here
True Name: St. Maurice "Martyr of Aguanum"
Alignment: Lawful Good
Alternate Classes: Saber, Ruler
Strength- B
Agility- A
Endurance- C
Mana- D
Luck- E
NP- A+
Personality
Class Skills:
Magic Resistance- B
A power to neutralize the effects of Magecraft aimed against oneself. At this rank, spells with a chant below three verses are nullified, proving difficult to affect even by the likes of High Thaumaturgy or Greater Rituals. Lancer's high level of resistance is born from his immense piety, as well as anecdotes of having faced and defeated many Pagan magi throughout his career as a soldier.
Personal Skills:
Blessing Of The Holy Lance- D
A blessing given to those who wielded the Holy Lance Longinus. Though Lancer was aware his weapon was the spear that pierced Christ, he lacked understanding of its true nature and properties as a World Pillar. As such, he receives only a minor portion of its blessing. At this rank, his Luck parameter is slightly increased while in combat.
Charisma- C+
The ability to rally others and lead armies. This rank is suitable for effectively leading a Roman legion, or a military force of around six thousand people. Lancer was leader and standard-bearer for the legendary Theban Legion, inspiring his men with his bravery and boundless faith in the Lord. Having led an army of all Christian troops, Lancer's Charisma receives a favorable modifier when it comes to inspiring those who share his religious faith.
Saint- B
Indicates one who is venerated as a saint. Depending on the nature of one's sainthood this Skill can bestow a variety of effects, from a rank-up to Charisma to enhanced healing to an ability to construct holy artifacts such as powerful defensive shrouds. As one who excelled in leading armies on the battlefield, and was later canonized as a patron saint of military tactics, Lancer's form of this Skill grants him a rank-up to Charisma as well as Military Tactics at rank D.
One of the most widely venerated saints in Western European history, with countless monuments consecrated in his name, Lancer's fame in some parts of the world is easily on par with the likes of Jeanne D'arc.
Inspiration- A
The talent to raise morale of allied troops on the battlefield. Differing from Charisma, this is not the ability to lead an army into battle but to spur the bravery of those already fighting. At this rank, all allies fighting alongside Lancer are filled with renewed determination and hope, bestowing an equivalent rank in the Bravery Skill.
"The greatest mainstay of their faith in this crisis was undoubtedly their captain Maurice, with his lieutenants Candid, the first commanding officer, and Exuperius the "campidoctor." He fired the hearts of the soldiers with fervor by his encouragement. Maurice, calling attention to the example of their faithful fellow soldiers, already martyred, persuaded them all to be ready to die in their turn for the sake of their baptismal vow (the promise one makes at his baptism to renounce Satan and his abominable service and to worship only God.) He reminded them of their comrades who had gone to heaven before them. Due to his words, a glorious eagerness for martyrdom burned in the hearts of those most blessed men."
--Saint Maurice And The Theban Legion
Noble Phantasms
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So this is the St. Maurice sheet I'd been talking about. I tried to go for a bit of a simpler writing style this time around (as I have a tendency to over-describe things at times) so I hope y'all can notice the difference. I'm pretty proud of this sheet as a whole to be honest. Simple, but I had a lot of fun writing it. As always, be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms! Thanks.
Last edited by RoydGolden; January 14th, 2019 at 01:09 AM. Reason: Changed 2nd NP & added new Skill
St. Maurice : This sheet is definitely well written. The personality fits him well, and the skills are also well done. The problem is, well, the 2nd NP seems quite generic.
1st NP is quite nice, with allies buff and anti-divine beamu.
2nd NP is quite generic, a classic summon-an-army EX-ranked NP, but with more restrictions. IMO, it shouldn't be EX-ranked.
His Saber NP seems quite... overpowered. It looked like it could kill opponent no matter how strong with only 10 decisive blows. IMO, it doesn't fit with his legend quite well, he is executed by decimation, not the one who founded or ordered the decimation, maybe it would be better if someone like Marcus L. Crassus has this NP, because he's the one who 'resurrected' the usage of decimation in Rome.
I admit the second NP is a generic army summon, but it fits his legend and I hardly ever use army summons anyway so I think just once is fair enough.
I included the restriction to hopefully help distinguish it a bit, but I'm not surprised if you think it's not enough. I do think the EX rank is justifiable though; Ionian Hetairoi wasn't EX-ranked because it was powerful (though it was too) but because it summoned genuine Heroic Spirits from the Throne, a trait shared by Maurice's NP.
You're right on the sword NP being loosely tied to his legend. That's why I didn't make him a Saber!Really though, that NP is basically just there for flavor to flesh the sheet out a bit more.
- - - Updated - - -
Also, after I posted this up I suddenly got the idea for a very different personality for Maurice, based on the version of his legend where he defied Maximian after the emperor had tricked him into unknowingly destroying a village full of Christians. My idea was that he'd be a prototypical paladin type whose secretly super full of regrets and guilt for his actions, and terrified of the self-righteous zealot he was in the past.
...Too dark and not really fitting his history? I don't know, but it's an interesting idea and if you all think it has potential I may end up rewriting his personality to fit. (And including a History section since that take on his legend substantially diverges from how it's commonly told)
You could try making a Maurice Alter, he'll be similar in principle to Saber Alter too.I admit the second NP is a generic army summon, but it fits his legend and I hardly ever use army summons anyway so I think just once is fair enough.
I included the restriction to hopefully help distinguish it a bit, but I'm not surprised if you think it's not enough. I do think the EX rank is justifiable though; Ionian Hetairoi wasn't EX-ranked because it was powerful (though it was too) but because it summoned genuine Heroic Spirits from the Throne, a trait shared by Maurice's NP.
You're right on the sword NP being loosely tied to his legend. That's why I didn't make him a Saber!
- - - Updated - - -
Also, after I posted this up I suddenly got the idea for a very different personality for Maurice, based on the version of his legend where he defied Maximian after the emperor had tricked him into unknowingly destroying a village full of Christians. My idea was that he'd be a prototypical paladin type whose secretly super full of regrets and guilt for his actions, and terrified of the self-righteous zealot he was in the past.
...Too dark and not really fitting his history? I don't know, but it's an interesting idea and if you all think it has potential I may end up rewriting his personality to fit. (And including a History section since that take on his legend substantially diverges from how it's commonly told)
That is reminding me a lot of Cecil Harvey from Final Fantasy IV. A Dark Knight who sees the error of his ways, rebels against his king and becomes a Paladin to atone for his sins.
I'd be curious to see what kind of alternate Maurice sheet you make.
"Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"
(Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)
Original Painting
Class : Rider
Alternate Classes : Saber, Shielder, Avenger
Identity : Keumalahayati
Origin : Indonesia (16th Century)
Alignment : Lawful Neutral
PARAMETER
STR : C+
END : D
AGL : B
MGI : E
LCK : A
NP : A
Keumalahayati, or Malahayati (fl. 16th century), was an admiral in the navy of the Aceh Sultanate, which ruled the area of modern Aceh Province, Sumatra, Indonesia. She was the first woman admiral in the modern world (if Artemisia I is not included). Her troops were drawn from Aceh's widows and the army named the "Inong Balee", after the Inong Balee Fortress near the city of Banda Aceh. While not as famous as them, she is ranked by some as equal of Semiramis and Catherine the Great.
Personality
CLASS SKILLS
Riding : C
The Class Skill of Rider and Saber class Servants, denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. Most vehicles and animals can be handled with above-average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts. Also, if limited to ships, the Riding Skill will improve by one rank. Rider was considered to be the best graduate of a military school that requires the cadets to learn and master various military arts, including riding.
Magic Resistance : D
A skill that grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancels Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance of the same degree of an amulet that rejects magical energy. Rider is a relatively modern Heroic Spirit, and only has little magical resistance as result.
PERSONAL SKILLS
Admiral of the Storm : B+
A skill that denotes the talent to sail vessels recognized as ships. Because the ability as a group leader is also necessary, this unique Skill also has the effects of both Charisma and Military Tactics. Rider received this skill instead of "Voyager of the Storm" because she never had a long voyage with her ship. Instead, her skill with handling ships was born from her own talent and experience of fighting foreign ships that threaten the land of Aceh, which earned her the position of “First Admiral”, becoming the first woman to hold such position in modern history.
Noble Defender of the State : B
A skill that denotes the capacity of a Servant to mark a region as a "Land to Protect" by securing the surrounding leylines prior to an engagement. This ability of Rider permits the reinforcement of her combat capabilities when fighting in her territory, gaining a combat power bonus equivalent to Mad Enhancement of Rank B, and Rider's "Benteng Inong Balee" is a Noble Phantasm that can only be deployed within the marked region.
Rider was a trusted Admiral and Commander of the Palace Guard of Aceh Sultanate that has successfully defended Aceh from numerous invasion attempts from the Dutch and Portuguese. Her achievements as the “Guardian of The Aceh Kingdom” has been recognized by the Dutch Prince, Maurits van Oranjesent, who sent apology to the Sultanate for the problems the Dutch had caused and also by Queen Elizabeth I of England, who has chosen peaceful means to gain cooperation with Aceh Sultanate, knowing that the sea of Aceh was safely guarded by their first Admiral, Rider.
Honor of the Widowed : A
A skill derived from the sense of value and pride that Rider and his army of widows possess. It is a combination of low ranking Bravery, Protection of the Faith, Disengage and Subversive Activities. This skill represents the religious vow of Acehnese women under Rider's command that has sworn an oath to continue the legacy of their beloved husband’s death in the hands of the foreign invaders of Dutch and Portuguese.
NOBLE PHANTASMS
Armada Inong Balee
Fleets of Avenging Widows
Rank : A
Type : Anti-Army
An armada built by Rider with the permission of the Sultan consisted of numerous widowed women that have lost their husband in the war against the European colonist, the Battle of Haru Bay. The Inong Balee is Rider’s personal armada, in which Rider was appointed as the Admiral. Each of the troops of the Armada has a burning fire of vengeance and determination to defend their homeland from the oppressive colonists, each of their wishes, determination, and souls has been sublimated into this Noble Phantasm.
Upon the activation of this Noble Phantasm, Rider will call forth ½ of her Armada, numbering around a thousand widowed troops, summoned aboard 10 galley ships that resemble the ships under that Rider has commanded as an Admiral. The troops aboard the ship cannot disembark from the ship, because they can only exist within the fleets, which is a kind of Reality Marble that manifested as a ship, they will be deprived of magical energy if they leave the ships and cannot exist for more than a minute. The ships would be really useful if summoned in bodies of water, such as the sea, if it was summoned on land, the ship cannot be moved, and the troops must remain at the ship. Each of the widow troops also has the Honor of the Widowed Skill at B rank. The usage of the full extent of this Noble Phantasm requires an impossibly high magical energy, and as result, Rider prefers to only summon one fleet at a time, which only has around a hundred troops.
Benteng Inong Balee
Fortress of Guardian Widows
Rank : B+
Type : Fortress, Anti-Army
A fortress that Rider has built on Kruey Raya Bay, with the height of 100 meters from the surface of the sea, with numerous cannons mounted behind the cannon holes of the fort. A Fort that serves as the military base of Rider as well as a shield that protects Aceh from the colonists’ fleets. This fortress is still standing to this day on Aceh.
To activate this Noble Phantasm, Rider must first secure the leylines of the land using her Noble Defender of the State skill. When she has marked the area as a “Land to Protect”, Rider will also need certain materials to build the fort, but if there’s already a suitable building on the area the can be used as a basis for her Noble Phantasm, Rider wouldn’t need to search for the materials and can simply convert the building or structure into her Noble Phantasm. Additionally, if she is summoned in her homeland, Aceh, there wouldn’t be any requirements to activate this Noble Phantasm, and she can activate it anywhere.
Upon activation, a 100 meters tall fort that has been enchanted to be a C-ranked ‘Fortress’ Noble Phantasm will be summoned. Inside the fort, Rider will be accompanied with 20 elite widow warriors from her Inong Balee armada, which also cannot leave from the fortress. The fortress has a total of 50 cannons that equals to E or D-ranked Noble Phantasms, each of them are mounted on a special cannon holes that can be rotated to every direction and capable of firing barrage of cannons simultaneously.
History
-------------------------------------------
I just realized that 2/3 of my female servants are Acehnese warriors that fought against the Dutch...
Any comments, review or critics would be really appreciated.
Last edited by 34; August 21st, 2017 at 10:51 AM.
It's kind of strange to me that NPs for Riders, especially Naval Riders, and particularily younger historical Naval Riders, tends to show very little creativity.
You see all sorts of weird things happening with Sabers, Lancers, and Archers. Don't even get me started on Casters.
But with Naval Riders it's usually always just a boat. Usually literal a boat they owned or rode upon with very little conceptual shenanigans attached. Okay it might be a big boat, a boat that gets fancier as something happens, or lots of boats at once, or a floating fortress, or a army that rides around on boats. But whatever it is it's still just "boat" as a core concept.
So I've read this Yi Sun-sin sheet elsewhere that instead of giving him that same old boring armored ship that every other Yi Sun-sin sheet gives him, instead turns it into a actual giant turtle monster that breath steam and explodes pieces off it's own spiked regenerating shell as explosive forged projectiles at its opponents and generally just crashes into things. It's a lot more interesting. Yi surfs around on the thing when he doesn't feel like walking. He actually also have a second NP that also isn't just "boat" so he's a head above for that as well.
Another Rider sheet with a slight twist is this Louis XIV sheet which turned his Versaille Palace into a enormous Marble horse that he rides on. It's suppose to represent his particularly authoritative take on proper governance. But because it's actually a palace/fortress, it and Louis when he rides atop it can only be attacked by anti-fortress level attacks. He also synergize it with another NP to create a effect that causes his opponents to kneel before him as he stomps around. This might be a poor example since this isn't a Naval Rider but it is illustrating a way to twist context to make something a bit more interesting.
Anyways...just getting tired of boats and armies I guess.
Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; August 21st, 2017 at 03:13 PM.
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