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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #12201
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Ehm.... Shouldn't this go in Modern Fiction since it's an OC?
    i dont know exactly.
    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    Oh right, so you did.



    This. Also displays a spectacular lack of understanding of the Nasuverse's mechanics.
    could you explain me what you mean provided without to become Angry?
    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Speaking of modern fiction, isn't "Z-ONE" a character from Yu-Gi-Oh?
    Actually yes but here i just used the Name not the charackter behind it.
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  2. #12202
    E-Rank Bronzefag MehKitteh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Speaking of modern fiction, isn't "Z-ONE" a character from Yu-Gi-Oh?
    Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's, yes. And yeah, that should go to Modern Fiction.

    Execute C:\local\lib\toh.exe?
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    summs up a lot of my ironic weeaboo circles
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    people who have waifus are necessarily mentally ill


  3. #12203
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    could you explain me what you mean provided without to become Angry?
    For one thing, the power of Magecraft depends on how mysterious it is so I doubt a "world where Magecraft is accepted as common fact" would work as you've described. I also have no idea how you're distinguishing "true" and "false" forms of Magecraft, since that's not a term Nasu has used anywhere in his works.

  4. #12204
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    could you explain me what you mean provided without to become Angry?
    Nasuverse Magecraft is weakened the more people know about it. Magecraft becoming public knowledge would make it even weaker than it is now (I'm comparing it unfavorably to AoG magic, though). Hence why the Mage's Association stays hidden in the first place.
    Independent Manifestation is reserved for Beasts and Grand Servants (plus candidates), not Counter Guardians.

    Edit: Ninja'd, despite my training.

  5. #12205
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    Independent Manifestation is reserved for Beasts and Grand Servants (plus candidates), not Counter Guardians.
    Also Void Shiki, but she's a crossover character so she doesn't really count
    Leysritt needs more screentime and love



  6. #12206
    E-Rank Bronzefag MehKitteh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Also Void Shiki, but she's a crossover character so she doesn't really count
    She's the Root, so that's acceptable.

    Execute C:\local\lib\toh.exe?
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    Dreams of swallow cuts.
    ---
    summs up a lot of my ironic weeaboo circles
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    people who have waifus are necessarily mentally ill


  7. #12207
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    For one thing, the power of Magecraft depends on how mysterious it is so I doubt a "world where Magecraft is accepted as common fact" would work as you've described. I also have no idea how you're distinguishing "true" and "false" forms of Magecraft, since that's not a term Nasu has used anywhere in his works.
    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    Nasuverse Magecraft is weakened the more people know about it. Magecraft becoming public knowledge would make it even weaker than it is now (I'm comparing it unfavorably to AoG magic, though). Hence why the Mage's Association stays hidden in the first place.
    Independent Manifestation is reserved for Beasts and Grand Servants (plus candidates), not Counter Guardians.

    Edit: Ninja'd, despite my training.
    Thank you two ive found some logic issues in my fanfiction Story ! #

    and About the differing its more a selv orientation tool as that i later use it and with common fact i had a issue there but wasnt it that in the age og gods almost everyone knew that magic exist although only few of them were able to use it though ?
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  8. #12208
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    Thank you two ive found some logic issues in my fanfiction Story ! #

    and About the differing its more a selv orientation tool as that i later use it and with common fact i had a issue there but wasnt it that in the age og gods almost everyone knew that magic exist although only few of them were able to use it though ?
    What happened to "do your own research"?

  9. #12209
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    but beside the skills that have obviously some issues how is the rest Concept and the noblephantasm actually?
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  10. #12210
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki-pon View Post
    Also displays a spectacular lack of understanding of the Nasuverse's mechanics.
    I think you have the short answer about the idea here, buddy.
    Leysritt needs more screentime and love



  11. #12211
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    I think you have the short answer about the idea here, buddy.
    *sighs* okay i should rethink my old Sheets before i post them here unrereaded.
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  12. #12212
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    *sighs* okay i should rethink my old Sheets before i post them here unrereaded.
    Generally speaking I wouldn't advise posting original Servants with no connection to RL myth or history here. Even if they're fine technically (which yours... wasn't), it's very difficult to comment on or give critique when the only reference point is a fanfic you have in your head. At this point you're better off just making OCs in an original fiction story rather than even connecting it to the Nasuverse IMO.

  13. #12213
    E-Rank Bronzefag MehKitteh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Generally speaking I wouldn't advise posting original Servants with no connection to RL myth or history here. Even if they're fine technically (which yours... wasn't), it's very difficult to comment on or give critique when the only reference point is a fanfic you have in your head. At this point you're better off just making OCs in an original fiction story rather than even connecting it to the Nasuverse IMO.
    Or do the reverse of what you're trying to do and make a fic with the OC first, then make the sheet. Wait, don't.

    That's kinda rich coming from me, eh?

    Execute C:\local\lib\toh.exe?
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    summs up a lot of my ironic weeaboo circles
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    people who have waifus are necessarily mentally ill


  14. #12214
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Now that you're here, Royd, should I add this sheet to the compilation anyways? I think you added Koga's other OC when he posted it, but I'm not really sure
    Leysritt needs more screentime and love



  15. #12215
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Now that you're here, Royd, should I add this sheet to the compilation anyways? I think you added Koga's other OC when he posted it, but I'm not really sure
    Add it to the OP anyways. It's not the compiler's job to pass judgment.

  16. #12216
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    I didn't intend to judge (from my point of understanding, that would be something like "this is shit so I'm not going to bother adding it"). I just wanted to know if it's OK to add the sheet to the compilation despite it belonging to Modern Fiction.
    Leysritt needs more screentime and love



  17. #12217
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    If it belongs in another thread then it should be moved accordingly.

  18. #12218
    Perfectly Balanced Unit Der Ritter's Avatar
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    I want to just say that I actually did do a drawing for this sheet, but the faceclaim I found was much more fitting and less of a MegaTen reference. Also much better too.

    ==============

    Faceclaim


    Class
    : Rider

    True Name: Mother Harlot
    Title: Babylon the Great
    Alignment: Chaotic Evil
    Source: Christian Theology
    Region: Rome
    Attribute: Earth

    Parameters
    Strength: B
    Endurance: D
    Agility: A
    Magic: B
    Luck: A

    Skills

    Class Skills

    Magic Resistance: C
    Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.

    Riding: A
    All vehicles and all creatures but those of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast-rank can be used as mounts.
    Her forte is in driving chariots, but she dislikes how they make her butt sore.

    Personal Skills

    Imperial Privilege: EX
    An ability that, due to the insistence of the owner, Skills that are essentially impossible to possess can be obtained for a short period of time. In cases when the Rank is А or above, even the "burden to the body" can be acquired (such as Divinity).
    For Rider, the relevant Skills are seduction, Charisma, Alluring Nightingale, fine arts, Torture Techniques and others.

    Aurea Boura: C
    Aurea Boura: Golden Grail.
    The Holy Grail that grants its owner's impudent and selfish desires. The grail that the great enchantress who appears in The Revelation of St. John the Divine holds. Though it is a counterfeit Holy Grail, it is because that it is a counterfeit Holy Grail that it became a 'genuine' Holy Grail that grants the desires of humans without paying heed to right or wrong. To the Christians of those days, who considered honorable poverty a virtue, this grail, which was formed as a symbol of treasures such as gold, is no doubt the meaning of corrupt wealth, greed, and the vanity that leads one to adorn oneself. Though it is clear on the occasion that this grail is held by the great enchantress of Babylon which is the personification of the Roman Empire, this grail symbolizes the wealth of the earth, which is the inversion of Christ's words, "Do not pile up the wealth of the earth."

    Of course, a Servant cannot own a 'genuine’ Holy Grail, so it's abilities are mostly cut down. It can create a fascination effect towards those quick to anger, or those with greedy hearts. It is filled to spilling with a multitude of curses. Everyone is worried about how she casually drinks from it.

    Seven Crowns: B
    A distinguished authority class skill.
    It is said that the ten crowns indicate the ten evil kings, and the seven hills indicate the abominable city of evil. On a simple look, it is a skill that turns received injuries and occurred events, all kinds of results into as if 'nothing happened'.

    Originally there should be Ten Crowns, each representing a different Emperor of Rome, but she can only use Seven as she is. She has recomposed them into a specialized 'Harlot’ Formal Wear that helps negate specific kinds of attacks, such as Mental attacks, or consecutive sword strikes from a successful Luck Check.

    Noble Phantasm

    Aestus Domus Infernos
    Gilded Palace of Burnt Vanity

    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: B

    The infamous golden theater of Emperor Nero Claudius, which she built over the remains of parts of Rome after it had suffered the Great Fire.

    While The Great Fire is still a mysterious disaster even in the Modern Era, it is with some grain of truth that Nero herself never started it, and if anything worked to aid the citizens who were affected by it. She selflessly (selfishly) gave aid to the reconstruction efforts, and the Domus Aurea was built over the homes of the Senate instead of the common people.
    However, there is no denying the timing for both was too suspicious. Rumors spread claiming that the Emperor who had helped the people was responsible for the disaster. It was a betrayal of sorts, like a close lover suspecting you of infidelity. Nero instead shifted the blame on the Christians of the era, starting a campaign of religious persecution.

    The Domus Aurea and The Great Fire can be claimed to be irreversibly bound together in this state. A glorious opera house that is choked and consumed by hellish flames and smoke, like that which destroyed the city of Pompeii. The exit is barred shut, meaning that one must either kill Rider to escape, or wait for her to lose power to sustain it. A certain pair of poets describe the latter action as being like 'being stuck in a poorly written 9-Act stage play with a surprise 10th Act at the very end.’ Truly, this is Hell upon Earth.

    NRVNQSR
    The Beast of Revelation

    Type: Anti-World
    Rank: A

    And I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns.

    A great Demonic Beast-type creature, a monster spoken about in the Book of Revelations. The Beast who is the mount of the Whore of Babylon, the mother of harlots and abominations, and is the Personification of the Empire of Rome and its emperors. Under normal circumstances, it and Rider would be better classified as an Enemy of Man that needs to be quickly destroyed for the continued foundation of the Human Order. However, Rider staunchly refuses to summon the Beast, and not even a Command Seal could compel her to do so.

    Lore

    Likes: [Striked out for breaking T Regulations]
    Dislikes: Busy work, Christian pass out pamphlets
    Talents: Properly feeding lions
    Natural Enemy: Child Altera

    Background:
    And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication:
    And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.

    And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration.


    A incarnation of great evil from the Christian Bible, a supreme harlot who is consumed by great sadism, vanity, and lust. A symbol of the end of days, of the time when Good and Evil shall clash. She is the Rider of The Beast, the abomination that is known as Beast VI, an existence that threatens Human History itself.

    --Of course, that's the role she's been stuck playing at. In truth, her real name is that of the Fifth Emperor of Rome, Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. The person whose actions were believed to have been the inspiration for the Book of Revelations, and who is called in scorn by others the Whore of Babylon.

    While Nero was by no means a demon or a monstrous person, nor did she possess the infamous madness of her uncle Caligula, there is still no denying the fact she is a self admitted tyrant who performed many horrific actions. The reputation of Babylon the Great is not an unwarranted one, and summoned as a Rider, it is the state she is manifested as. As a result, her nature as a cruel tyrant is emphasized greatly in this form.

    Dialogue Examples:
    “Servant Rider. I am Babylon, the great mother of all whores of the Earth.”
    “Ah, yes, fill me more with your curses. Let me drink them further.”
    “Huhuhu, ahahaha! Umu, that is a good one. A-ah, were you listening? No, I was not practicing an evil laugh just now! Most definitely not!”
    “Taste the wine which was made by the blood of Saints. Feast on the burnt embers of the great city. Listen now, to the cries, those trapped in the Nine realms of Inferno! Aestus Domus Infernos!
    “It's fine if you burn me and toss me away Master. I'd do the same if I got bored of myself as well.”
    “Aah, Master, if you wished to drink from this cup, you could have asked. Now it's threatening to overflow as you keep refilling it. It will spill over, and curse the base earth as it does. If that happens, whose fault do you think it'll be? -- Well, it's fine, you’ll clean it up if it does.”

    Personality:
    “She got a little too into the role,” said a certain Master on the Moon. She acts the role given to her a bit too well. A grand and extravagant villain, a harlot who can only find joy in excess pleasure and then wasting it all in one go. A cruel woman who tortures and kills for sport, putting innocents in the same room as blood thirsty lions. A depraved idolater whose sexual orientation is a bit too terrifying to openly speak about.

    Her love for Rome still exists within her, but it has been twisted. She who loved Rome and its people, now loves it for its treasures and pleasures. So long as there's joy to be found in it, she will selfishly give it her love, and accepts any willing to take it. She still enjoys the performing arts, but she now seems obsessed with stories of great tragedy or despair.

    She still prefers pretty young women and men. Especially the women.

    Her attitude towards the Master is dependant on their strength of will. A Master who easily succumbs to her wiles is only good for a quick, barely exciting moment of pleasure, and she'd quickly throw them aside for someone else. A Master able to resist and communicate with her outside of her current state may find that she is a self deprecating girl who hates her current state. “There's certainly sex appeal, but harlots are hardly what would be called beautiful without compare.” Her current self also reminds her of her mother, whom she most definitely hates.

    For this purpose, she desires the Holy Grail to rip herself away from the legend of the Whore of Babylon, so she may live freely as Emperor Nero.

    Relationships:

    Nero Claudius:
    “Umu, hating oneself is certainly a very enriching experience.”

    Elisabeth Bathory:
    “You're welcome to sing in my theater. Please, I would be honored, since your voice makes for a unique torture instrument.”

    Vlad III/Carmilla:
    “Strange how we are only really remembered as the monsters we inspired, don't you think?”

    Tamamo-no-Mae:
    Instructions clearly state to not let them meet or else it'll kick off a Holy Grail War.
    Last edited by Der Ritter; Today at 12:58 PM.
    TFW Thomas Edison is a lion, King Arthur is a girl, and Humanity'' mom is Shin Godzilla



    Me when Reading Kamen Rider fanfics




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    The Waifu War never truly ends.

  19. #12219
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Was this inspired by my Nero Alter? Probably not. By the way, you might want to check the format for the NPs' names
    Last edited by King of Padoru; Today at 12:27 PM.
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  20. #12220
    Perfectly Balanced Unit Der Ritter's Avatar
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    The ideas actually been bouncing around in my head for about a month or so, though I won't deny that Nero Alter may have played a part in my making this. Also, fixed.
    TFW Thomas Edison is a lion, King Arthur is a girl, and Humanity'' mom is Shin Godzilla



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    The Waifu War never truly ends.

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