FC Link
Alternate Classes: Saber, Rider
True Name: Garuda
Alignment: Lawful Good
Origin: Hindu Mythology
Armament: N/A
Parameters:
STR: A+
END: A+
AGI: A++
MANA: B
LUCK: A+
NP: A+
Skills
Noble Phantasms
Description
Lore
Notes
Last edited by Shiki-pon; June 17th, 2019 at 09:41 AM.
Garuda: Oh boy, here's one of my favorite mythological creature (mostly because my nationality bias). First off, making Garuda a Ruler is an interesting choice; as you described in his 2nd NP, he is the symbol of God's (Vishnu) authority, so the class theme fits.
Of course, while I overall like the character, I have my nitpicks. First, as a Ruler he doesn't really feel like one with all his abilities, even with Charisma, it doesn't really fit; moreover, Charisma is supposed to be a Skill for someone who ruled or led an actual army/nation, so I don't think Charisma fits him either. Also, as one of most awesome mythological birds, he lacks bird-themed abilities aside from his feather armor NP (which also kinda doesn't suit him). Bravery EX would be better off as a unique majestic bird themed Skill or something.
With the first NP, straightforward invincibility is too generic. Garuda selling off Indra's Vajra with only shedding a single feather can alternatively be interpreted as him being resistant to the Authorities of the Sky God, denoting the Garuda as the true King of the Sky, making him untouchable while soaring in the sky--or something.
Also, while it sounds powerful, the second NP is mechanically boring; Rather than "burst of energy on contact" I'd suggest something along the lines of "by flapping his wings so hard, Garuda releases a powerful burst of fiery shockwave that could dry off an ocean at full power."
In conclusion, I think the sheet feels rushed and still needs to be expanded upon to fit the "Ruler of the Skies" theme rather than just "one tanky birb".
I didn't really intend for him to be an orthodox Ruler in the first place. He mainly qualifies for the class due to his connection to Vishnu as well as not possessing a wish.
I admit Charisma is a poor fit, but I'm not a fan of shoving unique Skills everywhere when another would do the job. I don't really have a valid excuse for this one, admittedly. I was mostly going off on the fact that everyone seems to feel he's the greatest thing since sliced bread plus his connection to kingship and nobility. Not sure what a replacement Skill's name would be, though, as repeating Suparna's literal meaning would be pretty boring.
Not really sure what you mean by "bird-themed" abilities. Having wings is birdy enough as I see it, and he doesn't really need a Skill for that one. Maybe something drawn from 'casting a shadow' on others as a partial nod to his wings blocking out the sun in some legends might work.
Bravery is another pretty poor fit, but I thought Garuda needed something to represent how he just up and waltzed to fight the gods themselves (not to mention prevailing somehow), and speaking to Vishnu himself as something akin to an equal (although making brash requests to gods seems to be a thing in some portions of Hindu mythology). Bravery might not be the best match for that, though.
With Suparna, I sorta wanted to go for the fact that Garuda at least appears pretty peerless when one considers the stuff he did. Invulnerability is not a very good way of going about showing that, though. As I recall the NP was supposed to have an offensive portion to it as well, but I felt that that would've been one NP doing the work of several NPs. I also wanted to include a caveat to allow him to be made weaker so that he isn't just flat-out invincible. For example, with the sky bit there wouldn't really be much point to him coming down from there. Though the more I think about that, the more I'm starting to warm to the concept.
Something along the lines of being the Ruler of the Sky, and thus nothing can bring him down from there against his will. Only by voluntarily 'dropping down' to the level of others can he be truly injured. Hm.
As for Dharm Bahaalee, I didn't want to just espouse on his magnificent glory and how Garuda reduces continents to ashes and so forth (especially given that the NP's point is to be a precise weapon for the extermination of evil). It did end up coming off as a little boring, so I suppose it could be glorified a little more.
If you're okay with it, I'd actually like to rewrite Suparna to fit your suggested version, at least to some extent.
For bird themed Skill, I suggest something like "the ability to swoop down rapidly to catch/attack/consume preys". Also, yeah, the ability to block out the sun could maybe be incorporated to his Suparna NP as well.
I imagine him having to swoop down to attack is one of the only times (barring conceptual or some other stuff) he is vulnerable, so yeah, maybe something like that.
Of course.
I could see the legend of Garuda's wings blocking out the sun equating to a Skill that blocks out/negates Skills or Noble Phantasms deriving from the sun in his presence (like Gawain's Numeral Of The Saint).
Okay, now that's a really cool Garuda servant. Definitely a tremendous improvement from before! Truly the best birb.
Glad to see Garuda as a sheet, since he did feature quite a bit in my childhood. I actually am fine with the skills you gave, and as for NPs, maybe there should be a reference to the Garuda astra other warriors used to counter the Naga astra?
- - - Updated - - -
Well, it seems the sheet has been improved to the point I have no more quibbles with it.
Archer of Seven
FC
Class: Archer
True Name: Benzaiten
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Region: Japan/India
Source: Shinto-Hinduism
Parameters
Strength: C
Endurance: B
Agility: A
Mana: B
Luck: A++
Noble Phantasm: A
Height: 160 cm
Weight: 54 kg
Likes: The Seven Lucky Gods, the beach, modern technology, isekai
Dislikes: Tradition, Couples
Attribute: Heaven
Natural Enemy: VritraPersonality
Dialogue
Skills
Noble Phantasm
CN
Last edited by Wizard; February 25th, 2019 at 11:21 AM.
10/10 would empty my bank account for her
AWAKEN MY RULERS
Class: Rider
Other Classes: Archer
True Name: Rostam
Alignment: Lawful Good
Place of Origin: Persia
Face Claim
Parameters:
STR: A+
END: B
AGI: C
MGI: D
LCK: A
NP: A
Height:7’
Weight:350 Ib
Likes: Rakhsh, Kabul, Good Food, Kay Kavus
Dislikes: Demons, Kay Kavus’s Misadventures, Pits Filled with Swords.
Talent: Riding, Hand to Hand Combat
Natural Enemy: Shaghad
Attribute: Earth
Traits: Humanoid, Riding
Armament: Laso, sword, bow and arrows
Catalyst: The last vestige of his armor Babr-e Bayan
Class Skills:
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Personal Skills:
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Noble Phantasm(s):
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Lore:
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Personality:
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Relationships:
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Creator Notes:
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Last edited by cooldownnow; February 26th, 2019 at 12:50 AM.
Rostam: Fairly well done all around. Not a fan of the "aura of glory" effect for Haft Khan though. It honestly seems more like a generic "hero" Skill than anything unique to Rostam's own legend. After all, pretty much every mythical hero performed amazing deeds and had their name carved into history and so on. To give Rostam a Skill just to say that his feats in particular are super special and amazing, when more famous heroes like Arturia and Heracles have nothing of the sort, strikes me as rather unnecessary.
If you want to stick with giving Rostam a unique Skill based on his seven labors, I'd go with something along the lines of Proto!God Hand's concept of "will win seven battles" (but obviously much weaker, since it's only a Skill instead of an NP). It'd allow Rostam to bend fate to escape an unwinnable situation, or turn the tide of a losing battle. But Rostam would only be able to use it seven times in any given Grail War, after which the Skill would be permanently sealed. Kind of like a more limited version of Pioneer Of The Stars, now that I think about it. Something like that would fit Rostam's legend of "performing seven impossible feats" better than a generic aura of glory.
I'm also not sure about Rostam having three A-ranked NPs. Especially Babr-e Bayan. God Hand is a defensive NP that's better than it in just about every way, and is only B-ranked, so Babr-e Bayan could probably be lowered to B or even C.
Last edited by RoydGolden; February 26th, 2019 at 01:08 AM.
The reason I have Haft Khan is basically because I'm making a series of servants from the Shahnameh who each have the Haft Kahn skill but give off different auras(Rostam's displays glory because that his showed he was the ideal hero while his son Farāmarz did them for love so his would give him an aura of kindness and so on). Normally I would just not have and have the Haft Kahn be referenced else where in the sheet. As for the Noble Phantasms those were actually giant oversights. I had copied the basic format of it from the first Rakhsh and I guess I forgot to change the values. Oops.
Rider Faramarz
Lancer Esfandiyar
The last two of the set of three Shahnameh servants who are connected through the Haft Kahn(and also just being related to or killing one another).
Last edited by cooldownnow; February 26th, 2019 at 09:10 PM.
If the Chain of Ahura Mazda is a conceptual descendant of Enkidu/the Chains of Heaven, it should be noticeably weaker in some way. Also, why did you give everyone MR Rank C? Esfandiyar should probably have higher considering what era he lived in as well as his Class.
The Chain of Ahura Mazd is weaker than Endiku in the sense that it's only one chain rather than however many Gilgamesh has. Esfandiyar's magic resistance is low for the same reason Karna's is C and Gilgamesh's is E. His inherent resistance granted by the Armor Ahura Mazd supersedes that ability. I also didn't mean for them all to end up with C rank magic resistance that was just a coincidence of sorts.
It looks like many chains at the very least.