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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #12101
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    I guess this is why you asked about the Atlas institute the other day. Can she shoot her nails, by the way?
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  2. #12102
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    I guess this is why you asked about the Atlas institute the other day. Can she shoot her nails, by the way?
    That's a Jojo reference, right?

    - - - Updated - - -

    By the way, I actually considered making Atlas a secret alchemist and founder of the Atlas Institute, but I decided I wanted to focus on the astronomer-king aspect more and adding too much other stuff would take away from that.

  3. #12103
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Yes. Reading that she can manipulate the rotation of objects to turn objects into destructive projectiles made me think of the Spin. Jokes asides, the sheet is really cool, what reminds me that, although my Saber Inari was posted soon after and I should be asking for feedback for her, I want to give a shoutout to Sunny's Pacal
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  4. #12104
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Yes. Reading that she can manipulate the rotation of objects to turn objects into destructive projectiles made me think of the Spin. Jokes asides, the sheet is really cool, what reminds me that, although my Saber Inari was posted soon after and I should be asking for feedback for her, I want to give a shoutout to Sunny's Pacal
    I'm glad you liked the sheet, since I don't feel it's quite as fleshed out as some of my others.

    And yeah, Sunny's Pacal was great. If I had one suggestion, it'd be for more info on the effects of his NP, since it's pretty vague on what the "tapping into divine power as he gets closer to dying" amounts to in practical terms.

  5. #12105
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Also, to answer your question Padoru, Atlas's NP is quite a bit weaker than the Spin since she can only make objects rotate around herself. She can't make them revolve around their own axis, so no spinning drill nails.

  6. #12106
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Oh, well, thanks for answering, but that question was a joke
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  7. #12107
    FABRICATED HISTORICAL CRISIS SYNDROME gyrowins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    That's a Jojo reference, right?

    - - - Updated - - -

    By the way, I actually considered making Atlas a secret alchemist and founder of the Atlas Institute, but I decided I wanted to focus on the astronomer-king aspect more and adding too much other stuff would take away from that.
    Well. With that sheet out there with that possible connection, I think I know what sheet to post next.

  8. #12108
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Oh, well, thanks for answering, but that question was a joke
    I thought you were probably joking, but I still felt like answering seriously just in case there were some misunderstandings about how her NP worked.

  9. #12109
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    One Question because my next Indian sheet / profiles ,should i tell only the abbility regarding qualifications or also the because imperial privilege gained class skills ?
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  10. #12110
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    If you're going to give someone Imperial Privilege, you should list the skills and talents in its description (swordsmanship, fine arts, Charisma, Military Tactics...), as I've done with Ivan and Nero
    Last edited by King of Padoru; June 13th, 2018 at 03:55 PM.
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  11. #12111
    A Two-Named Thief Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    If you're going to give someone Imperial Privilege, you should list the skills and talents in its description (swordsmanship, fine arts, Charisma, Military Tactics...), as I've done with Ivan and Nero
    Might also help to say why those skills are chosen if it's not clear.
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  12. #12112
    FABRICATED HISTORICAL CRISIS SYNDROME gyrowins's Avatar
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    Camillo Agrippa


    Class: Saber
    Other Applicable Classes: Caster
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Sex: Male
    Height: 162 cm
    Weight: 57 kg
    Armament: Rapier


    STR: C
    CON: D
    AGI: A
    MGI: E
    LCK: C
    Noble Phantasm: B+

    Legend


    One of the greatest fencing theorists of all time, he who refined the art into something synonymous with skill itself. All fencing schools of the modern day can trace at least part of their teachings back to one of his treatises. By his hand, fencing was dramatically and forcefully shaped into the state it is today. Everything, from the number of stances to the very position of the sword in hand was carefully scrutinized and modified using geometric theory. To him, fencing was another science for him to master and make his own (the latter part was most important).
    Agrippa started life as a member of Atlas Academy, where he was a researcher of the Platonic Alchemical School. The Platonists were researchers who used their alchemy primarily to study the philosophy of esoteric mathematics. Agrippa was a star student and once even was a candidate to bear the “Atlasia” name. His masterwork was the creation of Timaeus, an advanced computing device that could create unlimited energy enough to fuel a powerful weapon. Despite helping create it, he disagreed with its use as “Apocalypse deterrence,” primarily because he didn't want his name attached to something that would be sitting in a storage closet somewhere. Using fencing prowess that he developed in secret, he stole Timaeus and left the academy in chaos. Agents of Atlas hunted him down for the rest of his life, but he managed to deter them through skill and brutality. The geometric insights provided to him by Timaeus allowed him to refine his own fencing and then share that knowledge to the rest of the world. The device was recovered and sealed by Atlas after his death.
    Camillo Agrippa was one of the great polymaths of the Renaissance and personally knew Michelangelo himself, though they did not get along very well. Little is known about him, except for the quality of his works and the specific time in which he lived.


    Tactics


    Despite the rather “dishonorable” methods he used to acquire his Noble Phantasm, Agrippa is an honorable combatant. His preferred style of combat is a 1 on 1 duel, and while he expects foul play he does not condone it or use it himself. As a former researcher from Atlas, his capacity to deal with magecraft and her own mana capacity is very low, especially for a Saber class servant. Attacks that he knows he can’t deal with will be dodged rather than defended against. Cerchio Misterioso is his most used Noble Phantasm, with Rosa D'oro being used as a trump card deployed at a moment where its initial strikes are guaranteed to connect.
    Agrippa is an eccentric sort of researcher. He is the sort to laze around for weeks on end before being hit by a sudden inspiration that forces him to be awake for days on end doing nothing but mathematics and architectural planning. Despite Cerchio Misterioso's infallible detecting abilities, he is prone to forgetting to activate it when not explicitly in a combat situation. As the initial dash is automatically performed, an improper use of that Noble Phantasm can lead to him being self-knocked out by charging straight into an enemy attack. Of course, such occurrences would only occur if the opponent was extremely perceptive or at least obscenely lucky.



    Class Abilities


    Magic Resistance: D+
    Weak magic resistance that lessens damage somewhat and cancels low rank spells. Befitting his nature as an alchemist from Atlas, his magical ability is severely lacking. He can temporarily increase the rank of this skill by idling Timaeus and creating an ambient "haze" of mana exhaust.

    Riding: E
    Agrippa was not known for riding anything in particular, so he only has a rank in this skill because of his class container. Vehicles and trained animals typical of the time and place in which he was summoned can be ridden with average skill.


    Personal Skills


    Alchemy (Atlas): A
    A branch of the Alchemy magecraft theory used in Atlas Academy. Unlike regular alchemy, which focuses on the conversion of material, Atlasian Alchemy focuses on the conversion of phenomena. The magecraft of Memory Partition (Seven Partitions) and Though Acceleration are most used by Agrippa, though he uses it for the most banal purposes.Typically, at least one partition has been asleep for the past twelve hours. Despite this, he takes frequent naps.

    Fencing Theory: EX
    Fencing skill derived from practice and theory, not from sheer talent. Allows for counter-attacking, dodging, and distance closing, all at high speeds. Additional techniques can be created on the spot to target enemy weaknesses. A personal skill shared by the grandfathers of modern fencing. The skill Information Erasure is a direct counter to this skill. In effect, a rank in Information Erasure lowers the effective rank of this skill by a value equal to that rank.

    Natural Born Genius: B
    A Skill that shows one who has unparalleled natural knowledge. Allows the use of most Skills excluding those inherent to the body (such as Divinity) or ones unique to particular heroes, at proficiency of C Rank. As a fencer, architect, engineer, mathematician, and artisan of his time, Agrippa was well regarded as an intellectual. His eccentricity and background as an Alchemist kept him from being able to exploit this in life. He likes to brag about having this skill.

    Noble Phantasm

    Cerchio Misterioso
    Boundary of Absolute Knowledge




    Rank: C++
    Type: Anti-Unit Noble Phantasm
    Range: Sphere 2m in diameter
    Maximum Targets: Theoretically Infinite Number of Single Targets



    A bounded field shared by those known as “the greatest Fencers in history.” Without activation, the bounded field simply makes Agrippa perfectly aware of everything within it. Without the enhanced information storage capacity granted by Alchemy, this would be an overload even for someone with enough mental training. Even the smallest insect is detected, though servants with Presence Concealment abilities C rank and above can bypass this.
    Upon revealing its true name, Agrippa releases a single pulse of mana which resembles a magic circle laden with complex geometric forms. Everything, including servants with any rank of Presence Concealment other than EX, is immediately detected. Agrippa is then able to select any number of these targets and immediately attack them with his rapier. The thrust he makes is made at such speed that it is hard to track for most servants. He will bounce between opponents like a beam of light, striking them with such precision that they have no option to defend, only to flee.



    Rosa D'Oro
    I Alone Walk the Golden Path of Perfection




    Rank: A
    Type: Anti-Unit Noble Phantasm
    Range: Theoretically Infinite
    Maximum Targets: Single Target


    A technique based Noble Phantasm that is the sublimation of Agrippa’s use of geometry to perfect the art of Fencing. What was once mortal theory is now divine martial perfection. It is a series of four guiding slashes and a single impossibly piercing golden thrust. As long as even a single of the first four slashes connect, the thrust is assured. No matter where the opponent goes, the thrust will occur as Agrippa dives between the fabric of space itself, compressing it using advanced mathematics into the space of a single step. The following thrust releases a pinpoint beam of mana precisely attuned to burn through an opponent’s spiritual core.
    Even the most minor movement of his rapier is intentional, guided by theoretical mathematics into forms reflecting the sanctity of the Golden Spiral. The reflection of it in his motion causes his extremities and blade to be followed by golden motes of pure ether. It is only in this perfection that Rosa D'oro can be pulled off. This Noble Phantasm’s activation is only possible thanks to the involvement of Timaeus, one of the 7 great weapons of Atlas Academy crafted by the Platonic School and stolen by Agrippa when he disappeared.



    Author's Notes
    A reply to the recent Atlas sheet posted by RoydGolden, though I've had this sheet lying around for a while. Most people who recognize this man's name will know it from a line in the Princess Bride:

    Inigo Montoya: You are using Bonetti's Defense against me, eh?
    Man in Black: I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain.
    Inigo Montoya: Naturally you must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro.
    Man in Black: Naturally. But I find that Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro, don't you?
    Inigo Montoya: Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa, which I have!


    BOND CE

    Timaeus

    Timaeus is an advanced biomechanical computing device that uses the Theory of Forms to forge a stable Path to Akasha using extremely advanced mathematics.
    By creating successive geometric projections in procedurally higher dimensions using spiritrons, it rapidly ascends through “Levels of Existence” until it reaches true perfection.
    These projections are created with exponentially increasing speed until a near infinite number of projections are created in a fraction of an instant.
    Thus, a path to “the Unobservable Truths” which are known to other magi as Akasha is torn open.
    The limitless mana that pours out would then be used to fuel a catastrophic doomsday device, such as the sort that supposedly sunk Atlantis,
    but right now I'm just using it as a custom calculator and compass!

    Boy does it make this Golden Spiral thing easier!

  13. #12113
    世界が丸い限り! Spartacus's Avatar
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    Ah... another one sniped...
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    ??? 1st Act = HALFU%
    OP is done tho

  14. #12114
    困ります... Sunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I'm glad you liked the sheet, since I don't feel it's quite as fleshed out as some of my others. And yeah, Sunny's Pacal was great. If I had one suggestion, it'd be for more info on the effects of his NP, since it's pretty vague on what the "tapping into divine power as he gets closer to dying" amounts to in practical terms.
    Mm, that's true. Authority is something I find vague in application to begin with, so that's probably my own uncertainty at work, eheh. But I tried to spin something a bit more concrete between Eresh and Quetz's wordings. Basically some divine fire and increasing blessings/defense the closer he is to 0 HP. Thank you for the criticism!

    I'll likely post the last Request tomorrow, since unlike Pacal, he was already largely done as one of the earliest choices.

    I'll try to comment on the recent ones after I finish some late-night work:

    Inari-san:​ An interesting sheet, though I haven't checked the FC since I'm at work and, well, serious doubt if I should. I'll defer to the FC police. But it has lots of personality and some nice differences from the original. If I have a criticism, the NP feels a bit undertuned in effect for its story and rank?

    Atlas: Another case where I'd like a bit more character and lore, but very fond of the personality and a nicely chosen FC to boot. Her skills are very fun, though the Medusa one came out of nowhere without a bio, since I didn't know that, eheh. How neat. The NP makes me think of Galileo's abilities in Horizon.

    Agrippa:
    Kya, this was a fun one. It captures the idea of a fencing Saber quite well and making the first NP a shared one with other fencers was quite an interesting touch. I would have liked expanding on the lore a bit, since I'm not that familiar with his origin and it's a bit cursory - but the NPs itself are amazing and he seems to have a fun personality, even if his motives for the theft and way of being don't really come through in the sheet alone. I suppose that's something that could be expanded on in a story role, though.
    Last edited by Sunny; June 14th, 2018 at 03:18 PM.

  15. #12115
    吸血鬼 Vampire Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    ... I knew math is horrible but that it can be so useful in combat is surprising ! One question are his two noblephantasm connected to timaeus or based ln the same mechanics/procedures ?and would he as caster timaeus as nobelphantasm?
    Last edited by Kabalisto Koga; June 14th, 2018 at 12:18 PM.
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  16. #12116
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    To be honest, I was too lazy to make the NP something better than foxfire katana. I should have lowered the rank to C or something like that
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  17. #12117
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunny View Post
    Inari-san:​ An interesting sheet, though I haven't checked the FC since I'm at work and, well, serious doubt if I should. I'll defer to the FC police. But it has lots of personality and some nice differences from the original. If I have a criticism, the NP feels a bit undertuned in effect for its story and rank?
    Inari's FC is actually extremely tame, so I presume it was only tagged as a joke.

  18. #12118
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Yup, it was a joke because loli. Although it's kinda ruined if you have watched Blend S and know that everything there is legal
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  19. #12119
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of Padoru View Post
    Yup, it was a joke because loli. Although it's kinda ruined if you have watched Blend S and know that everything there is legal
    The most risqué things in that show are probably the Doujinshi cover and Maika's dominatrix outfit, and the last one is more silly than sexy.

  20. #12120
    A Two-Named Thief Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Camillo and Atlas are mechanically brilliant but I have to agree with Sunny that they feel lacking in the lore and character department.
    Quest of Fate (Update: 13/06/2018)

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