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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #3901
    Dead Apostle Eater Gally's Avatar
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    Beast's Lair fanfiction (You Are My King Ch 9: 10% complete)|Other fanfiction
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  2. #3902
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gally View Post
    ...Not quite what I had in mind.
    View my (new) handy-dandy compendium of Servant sheets here!

    New chapter of「Fate/All Fiction」is out!

    This is how Yuri Kuma Arashi should have ended!

    You can find my fighting game movesets here!


  3. #3903
    Better than male version AirConditioner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gally View Post
    If you really wanted to go for that joke, should have used this

    http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/1480120

  4. #3904
    Intro

    It is the storm, and it is the fury. It is the howling and shrieking of the wind, tearing at his barrier, that convinces him something has gone utterly, completely wrong.

    It wasn't supposed to go like this. Upon elimination of the Master, the Servant should disappear, its Spiritual Core not capable of sustaining itself without outside stabilization. Archer was the exception, but for that reason alone he had been the first to be dealt with.

    But. But. The thing that now stood had not followed that neat plan, had not had that courtesy; it is as if it defies the laws of the world by sheer rage and bloody-minded vengeance.

    For an instant, he hesitates - as long as the span between a single treacherous thought and the next, his conviction wavers, and is then reforged. If death cannot hold this Servant back, then he will have to escape and find something else that will. He stands up, ramrod straight. With iron will, he shuts out the pain radiating from his arm, broken in at least two different places. Control is necessary if he hopes to get out of here alive, and so he is controlled.

    That mere impression of control lasts as long as it takes for Berserker - for that title now fits, where before it didn't - to turn all of its attention to him.

    Through the storm and the cutting wind, he knows that its face turns to him. The blazing gem, inset deeply in its forehead, pulses with the brilliant, crazed light of open flame. He does not need to see its eyes to know they, too, shine with madness. Its only purpose is destruction.

    Standing straight despite everything, he pumps more energy into the barrier. It cannot hold - not when the storm rages around it, not when the one behind it still dares to draw breath in the presence of the great destroyer - but it will have to, nonetheless.

    Berserker rasps something. In its madness, it is not capable of producing more than a single word, one that is at first swallowed by the hurricane raging around him. So it is repeated, again and again, like a holy mantra, louder and louder, until it is roared it into the night air.

    FATHER. FATHER. FATHER.

    And then Berserker moves. It must have crossed the distance, somehow - but the how doesn't matter when the why is so clear. It swings its sword downwards, and by some miracle the barrier holds. He doesn't breath, for that would only serve to disrupt his total focus, and besides the wind rips his breath away.

    Then Berserker swings again. Again. Again.

    The barrier shatters underneath its blows. Berserker keeps swinging.

    His limbs are rent from his body, and mercifully he loses consciousness. He has no hope of ever receiving it back. Berserker swings, and does not stop, cannot stop, will not stop.

    Finally, not even out of breath, Berserker comes to a halt. It lifts its head, and the gem on its forehead shines more intensely. It jumps, rushing away to somewhere only it knows.

    The only thing it leaves behind is a crater with an unidentifiable red mass. Once morning has come, it will be the first of many similar scenes to be found.


    Berserker Ashwatthama
    Faceclaim


    But with a giant gem in his forehead. And more clothes on. And also not a Danganronpa character.
    Source: https://twitter.com/hadahadam/status/790974370214576128

    Other Classes: Saber, Archer, Assassin, Avenger.
    Alias: Final Commander of the Kauravas, Foremost of the Rishis

    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Chaotic Good (Chaotic Evil)
    Region: India
    Origin: Mahabharata
    Armament: bow, sword

    Likes: Milk, the generous, his father
    Dislikes: poverty, the greedy, those that insult his father
    Talents: Knowledge, fighting
    Natural Enemy: Dhristhadyumna
    Attribute: Earth
    Traits: Male, Servant, Humanoid, Divine
    Catalysts: a mysterious red gemstone found in India

    STR B (A+)
    END B
    AGI B (B+)
    MGI A
    LU D
    NP EX

    Class Skills:
    Mad Enhancement C
    The Class Skill inherent to Berserkers. Differing from most, it has to be deliberately activated. When it is, the rage leaves him perfectly able to reason, but instead removes all morals and ideals. The result is a remorseless killing machine. Seals all but Berserker's final Noble Phantasm when active.

    Personal Skills:
    Chiranjivi A
    Ashwatthama was born after many years of severe penance, in order to obtain the same valiance as Shiva himself. As a result, he was born with a shining red gem in his forehead, which blessed him in a multitude of ways. For instance, he was granted protection against hunger, thirst, and all beings that were lower than humans: animals, but also ghosts and demons. It also granted him immortality, though that might be a misnomer; after all, it was believed that all physical bodies were fated to return to nothing eventually. As a Servant, the gem can be activated to grant Berserker Magic Resistance equivalent to rank B, among other skills.

    However, Ashwatthama was eventually forced to remove the gem from his forehead by Krishna, and the wound was cursed to never heal, to never stop bleeding, and to fester forever. As such, after the use of Vanshahatya, the gem disappears and Ashwatthama loses the protection it offers him, as well as constantly bleeding mana.

    Mana Burst (Wind) A
    A skill that increases performance by infusing one's weapons and body with magical energy and expelling it instantly. When using this skill, all weapons Berserker holds are surrounded with magical wind. The more mana is spent at a time, the stronger the wind will blow.

    The attunement to wind is due to Berserker's nature as an incarnation in part of Rudra, the god of storms.

    Delayed Acknowledgement B
    A skill showing that the Servant's competency at arms was recognized too late in life to still be the turning point it could have been. One of Duryodhana's three great regrets was not making Ashwatthama enraged much sooner, as no one could win against him when he was furious. He had never properly been able to utilize the power of the avatar of Shiva that had been at his disposal.

    This skill makes it so that there is significant time between seeing Ashwatthama and receiving the usual information all Masters get when observing Servants. However, in exchange, his own Master is also hindered by this. In addition, Berserker's skills are hidden. Knowledge of his True Name cancels this skill's effects.

    Divinity B+ (A++)
    An incarnation of Rudra, the god of storms, and a role sometimes assumed by Shiva. Furthermore, due to the worship of many as a rishi, Ashwatthama's Divinity has grown even more.


    Noble Phantasms:
    Lay Down Your Arms Or Die With Them
    Narayanastra
    Anti-Army A+
    One of the three great Astras of Hindu myth. It fires a seemingly unending rain of arrows. In the Mahabharata, the only ones with knowledge of this weapon were Ashwatthama, his father Drona, and Krishna.

    Once invoked, a single arrow is fired that multiplies endlessly into hundreds, then thousands, then even more projectiles of all sizes and shapes, all raining down on a large area from the sky. The arrows are guaranteed to hit their mark, and deal more damage if the target tries to resist. Only by laying down and surrendering can complete destruction be avoided.

    O Brahma, With This Arrow, Cover The Earth
    Brahmashirsha Astra (False)
    Anti-Unit A-
    A Noble Phantasm that had many variants and that was common among the greatest warriors of the Kurukshetra War. Its basic variant is the Brahmastra, and it is said the Brahmashirsa Astra is four times as strong. It is invoked by calling upon the name of the god Brahma and manifests as a projectile. As an Archer, it becomes a bow or an arrow, and other classes will use it yet differently. As Berserker, it is a large beam of light that will pursue his foes. The projectile can be wrapped in the wind generated by Ashwatthama for even greater power.

    However, while Ashwatthama was taught how to fire the weapon, Drona had not taught him to withdraw it. As a result, this is a Noble Phantasm he can use only once.

    O Universal Soul, I Offer You All I Am : Vanquish My Foes
    Vanshahatya
    Anti-Unit (Self) EX
    The culmination of all of Ashwatthama's rage, as well as the terrible vengeance wreaked on the Pandavas. It is a Noble Phantasm bound by four restrictions.
    First, it can only be used at night.
    Second, when it is active Berserker is forced to engage his Mad Enhancement to its fullest level.
    Third, a rite has to be performed before its use. This rite is lengthy, and cannot be interrupted.
    Fourth, someone needs to have heavily slighted Berserker in some way, as it is only then that his anger is roused. One example may be killing the Master, but Berserker can also be forced to invoke this Noble Phantasm via Command Seal.

    Once all conditions have been fulfilled, Ashwatthama becomes possessed by Shiva, the Destroyer. His flesh warps to better accomodate the Divine Spirit that comes to dwell within him, raising his Strength to rank A++ and his Agility to B. Due to fully accepting Shiva within himself, his Divinity is raised to the utmost. Furthermore, Shiva lends Berserker an excellent sword that would qualify as a Noble Phantasm were Ashwatthama summoned as a Saber. Finally, he becomes an irresistible force that will rage throughout the night without stopping. In this form, he can't be bargained with, nor be reasoned with. He no longer feels pity, or remorse, or fear. And he absolutely won't stop until every target of his ire is dead.

    However, once dawn breaks, the spell is broken, and Berserker becomes a mere shell of his former self. The gem on his forehead will fall out, costing him his immortality and the source of all his knowledge, and from the wound he will forever after keep bleeding.

    Personality
    Polite to a fault; intelligent, courteous, and competent. He is attracted to those that are charitable to their lessers, and he approaches others from a position of inferiority due to his upbringing. Faced with other Indian heroes, he will show the utmost respect, even if it should be to his detriment.
    Tactics
    The role he'd play in a grail war would be to be somewhat low-key, trying to pass for an Archer, until the right time comes. "Low-key", for a granted definition of the word, because his main astra is far from subtle, being a huge rain of arrows.

    After his rampage is over, even if the Master's managed to survive a full night of Berserker using that much mana, then he'll lose his gem and start "bleeding" out. He's basically analogous to a bullet: it can only be fired once, so it better be pointed at someone that needs to be very dead very soon.
    Lore
    The first and only son of Dronacharya, the guru that taught the Pandava brothers yet fought against them in the Kurukshetra war. Growing up in extreme poverty, he once painted his mouth with flour to make it seem as if he had drank milk, something they were too poor to afford.

    Drona set out to ask an old friend of his to fulfill his promise of riches when Drona had need of them, yet was turned away with empty hands. Frustrated, he returned home, but along the way met and impressed the Pandava brothers, who requested he become their teacher. Drona acquiesced.

    Coming from extreme poverty to being so near royalty shocked Ashwatthama, but he soon made friends with Duryodhana, attracted to his gregarious nature. When the war broke out, Aswatthama and his father joined his side, that of the Kauravas. Though his father was commander of the armies, Ashwatthama did little of importance.

    That is, until his father was tricked and murdered while meditating.

    Ashwatthama was enraged. He did everything he possibly could after that to see the treacherous Pandavas to their demise, even breaking into their camp at night to slaughter them all. By a stroke of fortune or misfortune, the Pandavas themselves were gone, so he slaughtered everyone else instead.

    When morning came and the Pandavas returned to the camp, they were shocked at the carnage they found. Soon, they tracked down Ashwatthama, and he and Arjuna had a final confrontation, though it was stopped by saga Vyasa for the sake of the fabric of reality remaining intact. Arjuna could withdraw his weapon, but Ashwatthama could not, and as a last gesture of spite he directed it at the pregnant Uttara, Arjuna's daughter-in-law.

    Disgusted by this, Krishna cursed him to wander the earth, eternally bleeding, for 3000 years.


    Notes:

    This is my first Indian Servant, started when I rolled Karna in FGO. I deliberately tried to echo Karna and Arjuna's stats and skills. Both have Mana Burst, something to do with sight and knowledge (Discernment/Clairvoyance/Chiranjivi), a skill about how they were recognized(Uncrowned/Blessed Hero/Delayed Acknowledgement), and finally Divinity.

    Due to his Divinity Karna could probably take him down with Vasavi Shakti. My guess is that Arjuna's Pashupata would work much better against him when he wasn't raging uncontrollably, but if he is, then I imagine the matchup goes in Ashwatthama's favor.

    Ranks in () are when Vanshahatya (and ME) is active, by the way. Thanks to Gunbazca for the name.

    ... I deliberately wrote in a different style for the intro, trying to give it a more visceral, brutal feel. Let me know if that worked.
    Last edited by NMR-3; Today at 06:59 PM.

  5. #3905
    The Pres 4score7years's Avatar
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    Generally nice, but what does the second Noble Phantasm do?

  6. #3906
    Quote Originally Posted by 4score7years View Post
    Generally nice, but what does the second Noble Phantasm do?
    It's a big laser. He can't fire it from his eyes like Karna can, though.

  7. #3907
    The Pres 4score7years's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NMR-3 View Post
    It's a big laser. He can't fire it from his eyes like Karna can, though.
    I see that in the text now. Was that always there, or is it just that I can't read?


    Actually don't answer that

  8. #3908
    Quote Originally Posted by 4score7years View Post
    I see that in the text now. Was that always there, or is it just that I can't read?


    Actually don't answer that
    I edited it in, yeah.

  9. #3909
    The Pres 4score7years's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NMR-3 View Post
    I edited it in, yeah.
    That's reassuring. As for the sheet apart from that, it's good. The introduction is great, and your original skills are pretty creative. Giant Face Gem is pretty weird, but it's certainly memorable. I see no glaring flaws in particular apart from that minor thing earlier. Nice work.
    Last edited by 4score7years; Today at 07:36 PM. Reason: god damn I hate mobile typing. The worst.

  10. #3910
    Magus Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    I like the guy, getting big mid/final boss vibes off him.

  11. #3911
    死者 The Dead
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Helen & Clytemnestra: At first I was wondering whether they should have Dioskouri, since that's pretty much a term exclusive to Castor & Pollux. But then you justified it by saying the two actually were Castor & Pollux, whose existence was rewritten by legend to match the Greeks' sexist preconceptions. Makes me wonder if Castor & Pollux could be summoned separately at all, or if any attempt would just get them instead.

    Having Helen and her sister as a pair of adventurous tomboys is pretty sweet, so I like the core idea of this sheet quite a bit. Has some grounding in lore too, since I'm pretty sure Helen at least did train in boxing before the whole marriage fiasco began. Since you portrayed them as different takes on the same character(s), I'm curious as to how the two would get along with my own Castor & Pollux.

    Oh and by the way, your images don't work. You should correct them.
    I probably should have put the lore earlier, or done something to make it clear that they're merged with their brothers' myths. Forgot to do it, though. I imagine them being summoned as Castor and Pollux as some kind of Lily version would be pretty similar to your interpretation to be honest.

    At least one ancient writer imagined Helen training with her brothers in boxing, so I've always liked the idea of her as a tough Spartan.

    Images are working fine for me, though. Well, I did reverse search the images to get a smaller version, so the website might not be reliable. I dunno, I'm terrible with this sort of thing.

  12. #3912
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SSW View Post
    Images are working fine for me, though. Well, I did reverse search the images to get a smaller version, so the website might not be reliable. I dunno, I'm terrible with this sort of thing.
    Nope, they definitely don't show up for me. I think I read somewhere here that the problem with linking images from certain sources is that they're already in your "drop-box" (or something, forgot the exact term) and so if you try to check whether it works or not, it'll show up for you but other people won't see anything.

    I dunno'. I'm honestly not that much better at "this sort of thing" then you are. When you're posting up images though, it's best to use Imgur or some similar image-hosting source. Anything else I've generally heard to be spotty at best.
    View my (new) handy-dandy compendium of Servant sheets here!

    New chapter of「Fate/All Fiction」is out!

    This is how Yuri Kuma Arashi should have ended!

    You can find my fighting game movesets here!


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