Create-A-Servant 2

[Funderfullness]

It's a catamaran.

[RoydGolden]

It's a catamaran.

Oh. That's actually pretty funny.

[RoydGolden]

Hate to say it, but you really need to work on your spelling. The entire lore section is an utter mess (to use a mild example- you spell Angra Mainyu 3 times, with a different wrong spelling on each occasion), and not just because it's presented in the form of an ugly wall o' text. Also to be honest, this is verging on belonging the Modern Fiction thread given how little the backstory you provided has to do with either real-world mythology or TM canon. He's effectively your fanfic OC who happens to share the name EMIYA and wield broadly similar powers at this point, no offense.

There's other comments I could give (for instance, Riding is a Class Skill of Sabers you forgot to include, "Master of all skills" should really be Expert Of Many Specializations and his NP has just about the blandest name imaginable) but until you work out your spelling, grammar and formatting properly, it really isn't worth the effort to muster a proper critique, as much as I hate to say this.

[Daneel Rush]

https://pastebin.com/H7rieyuk
Update for the masterlist. Tell me if any mistakes were made and I'll correct them.

Naamah is listed as Mesopotamian. She likely belongs to the "Biblical" category.

Also, the list is organized by post number, which is probably not very useful to one intending to use the list to find a specific Servant.

[venomking]

Eh, I'll just delete it then.

- - - Updated - - -

Ok, just raised the catamaran joke, I'm gana fix that.

[Ail Don]

"Oh, Master, would you like some tea? Sit right there and I'll prepare it--I SAID SIT RIGHT THERE."

Source: https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust....st_id=58804982
Class: Saber
Alternate Class: Berserker
Alignment: Neutral Good
Origin: Historical
Region: Japan
Epithet: Neat-Freak Snapping Turtle

Parameters
Strength: C
Endurance: C
Agility: C
Mana: E
Luck: D
NP: C

Height/Weight: 6’0”/170lbs
Gender: Male
Likes: Gracia, Nobunaga, Ieyasu, Hideyoshi, tea ceremony
Dislikes: Akechi Mitsuhide
Talents: Tea ceremony
Natural enemy: Those who defile the tea ceremony

Class Skills:

Magic Resistance: (E)
Magic Resistance grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether.
Because he was alive during a time when Mystery was very thin--and actively getting thinner from the actions of a certain warlord--a naturally bottom of the barrel rank in Magic Resistance shouldn’t be any surprise. He possesses it simply because of his Class.

Riding: (C)
Riding is a Class Skill of Rider and Saber class Servants, denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. Rider-class Servants will typically possess a high rank. It is said that dragon type mounts are an exception, requiring a different ability other than Riding.
Most vehicles and animals can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts. Because he does not have an anecdote of riding anything special or worth mentioning, he receives a low rank in this Skill for a Saber.

Personal Skills:

Berserk: (C)
Berserk is a composite Skill of Bravery and Mad Enhancement. Grants the user the ability to negate mental interference such as pressure, confusion and fascination. It also has the bonus effect of increasing melee damage.
A cantankerous individual throughout his life, Saber’s fury however isn’t directionless or without cause...most of the time. The mysterious death of his beloved wife Gracia threw Saber into the pits of despair. But rather than fold inward on this crushing depression, Saber instead channeled it outward, making his temper even more uncontrolled and his mental state even more precarious. The Bravery aspect of this Skill comes from Saber’s actions during the campaigns of his lord Oda Nobunaga. During his very first battle at the ripe age of 15, Saber’s face was scarred by shrapnel from an enemy catapult. Nobunaga herself allegedly told the lad that those scars were a sign of [bravery], so that’s how they came to be remembered by history.

Eye For Art: (B+)
Eye For Art is infatuation with works of art.
The son of “the walking dictionary of Ashikaga”, Saber was taught the value of art at a very early age. Famous for bringing home artistic souvenirs after a battle just to place carefully in his tea garden, Saber had a habit for collecting only impressively ornate weapons rather than paintings and the like. A disciple of the tea ceremony master Sen no Rikyu, Saber became a certified tea ceremony master at some point; an honor that delighted his sense of infatuation with the ceremony. A gentleness that doesn’t match the rest of his personality at all.
If he happens to see a Noble Phantasm that possess artistic anecdotes, there is a high chance that he might be able to figure out its true name. Bonus modifier is applied if the Noble Phantasm in question has anything to do with the tea ceremony, or tea in general. Somehow.

Yagyū Shinkage-ryū: Swallow Takes Flight: (C)
One of the oldest Japanese schools of swordsmanship that came about towards the end of the Sengoku period that strayed from the previous methods that focused exclusively on the concept of duels. With the advent of muskets, and the changing style of war in general, the school of Ichi-no-tachi (sword that only cuts once) was no longer feasible. In addition to changing the stances and the overall length of the swords used, the strategy of the Shinkage school takes into account the geography of the terrain, the hour of battle, and other parameters.

At its core, Yagyū Shinkage-ryū expresses the “power of adaptability”. Similar to Eye of the Mind (True), it is a practice refined through intense experience. Saber is thus able to grasp the flow of battle through a variety of variables, including most martial techniques of the enemy (should they have one). After grasping the technique of the enemy and the specifics of the terrain, Saber is able to adapt his actions to its greatest effectiveness in order to return to the offensive. If Knowledge of Respect and Harmony makes one’s moves impossible to follow, Swallow Takes Flight makes it impossible for others to gain a stylistic or territorial advantage over Saber. Most of the time.

Also functions as Projectile (Sword) of the same rank, allowing Saber to throw either of his swords with fair accuracy. They don’t come back when called, unfortunately.

Noble Phantasm

Kasen
Poetic Sword of the Immortal 36

(Anti-Unit, C)
Kasen is noted as perhaps the greatest sword made by its smith in his era, yet it was wielded by a samurai with no outstanding records of swordsmanship. Its name comes from the 36 Immortals of Poetry, but its wielder murdered 36 of his vassals with his bare hands. It was used in an attempt to save Saber’s sister from her husband, but ended up being a murder weapon. An elegant sword, but used for brutal slayings. Kasen is a sword of contradictions, as much so as its wielder.

A simple Noble Phantasm that doesn’t quite befit such a beautiful sword, continuing the theme of contradictions. It is employed more as a technique than anything else, but this is entirely a property of Kasen. Activated by channeling Saber’s adoration of poetry and refinement and Kasen’s own name as a reference to the 36 Immortals, Saber swings the uchigatana in such a way as to exemplify the beauty of waka (the main style of Japanese poetry). Saber swings Kasen in a number of strokes corresponding to the metre of one of the five forms of waka: Katauta (5-7-7), Chouka (5-7-5-7-5-7...5-7-7), Tanka (5-7-5-7-7), Sedouka (5-7-7-5-7-7), and Bussokusekika (5-7-5-7-7-7).

A rhythmic weapon not unlike the way a certain Scandinavian demigoddess utilizes her spear, with far more options of patterns to choose from, of which Saber can switch between on the fly. The contradiction comes in that while the beauty of the sword and the graceful movements are distracting, Saber is putting the full force of his strength behind each swing. A weapon of deception meant to fascinate the enemy, Saber likes to literally “sketch out” a poetic eulogy for his enemy by carving the characters of one through the air--and his enemy.

Sayo
Nightbird Flying

(Anti-Unit, E~A++)
A tantou with a sordid and tragic history. Owned by a poor ronin once upon a time who lived in the foothills with his wife and child, he eventually died in battle. His wife, in desperation, turned to selling the tantou in order to make enough money to make ends meet. However, she was forced to go through the pass known as Sayo no Nakayama, which was renowned for being a dangerous place that was a popular lurking area for thieves. Unsurprisingly, and unfortunately, the widow is murdered and Sayo is stolen. The orphaned son eventually becomes a sword shiner in order to find the killer, as he would be able to identify the seal of the swordsmith on Sayo’s tang. Years later, the thief in question comes to have his sword cleaned, and the boy uses Sayo to murder the thief right then and there.

Sayo was eventually purchased by Saber’s father (who gave Sayo its name) as an artistic rarity, who passed it along to his son as part of his inheritance. It is a sword of avenging assassination, that still carries such a spirit even in Saber’s possession. Activated not by calling the True Name, but by signally intent to use it--usually by placing a hand on its hilt--and waiting for the enemy to call the True Name of their own Noble Phantasm. This in turn refines Sayo into a [tool for avenging assassination], sharpening it and adding penetration abilities the moment it leaves the sheathe, such that a B-rank spear-based Noble Phantasm would translate to making Sayo B rank as well. This is where Sayo’s effect ends, however. It does not function in such a way that it makes using Sayo any easier, or any more effective against armor or the like, or even copying specific properties of the enemy’s weapon like an energy beam. With its small size, Saber will have to get incredibly close to use it, and the “power up” effect only lasts for the immediate next strike. There’s also the possibility that an enemy’s D-rank Noble Phantasm is incredibly useful for them personally, turning Sayo into an incredibly ineffective D-rank knife. Does not function against Noble Phantasms that are not weapons-based. It also cannot copy an EX rank.

It has a “ghost rank” of C, equivalent to Kasen. Because of a tantou’s nature as a “last resort” weapon, it’s not particularly tough. Thus, Nightbird Flying has a chance of shattering Sayo if the enemy’s rank it copies is higher than C.

Lore

Hosokawa Tadaoki was a Japanese samurai warrior of the late Sengoku and early Edo period.
Not much is known about Tadaoki’s life, only that he was the son of daimyo Hosokawa Fujikata, and entered into history the same time he joined Oda Nobunaga’s ranks. At the age of 15.

Undaunted by being a pipsqueak in the face of far older and far more experienced men, Tadaoki made up for it by being almost six feet tall. Apparently he must have been a real bastard on the battlefield even such a young age, because by his 17th birthday he was given the Province of Tango by Nobunaga herself. Tadaoki then made the spectacularly normal decision to marry a beautiful recent convert to the Catholic faith named Gracia. The only problem is that Gracia, born Tamako, was the daughter of Akechi Mitsuhide.

Oops.

Two years later, Mitsuhide betrayed Nobunaga, and fled to a number of people--Tadaoki included--for assistance. Tadaoki told him to fuck right off, but Tadaoki was justifiably worried that he was now hitched to the daughter of the biggest traitor in Japan. Because he genuinely loved her, Tadaoki sent her to go live in the mountains until the heat cooled off. However, during Hideyoshi and Ieyasu’s little spat, Toyotomi Hidetsugu’s support of Hideyoshi and friendship with Tadaoki quickly started rumors that Hideyoshi was harboring a terrorist’s daughter and sympathizer. This becomes important later.

After Hideyoshi’s death, there was a power vacuum between Ieyasu and Ishida Mitsunari, and Tadaoki made the right decision is letting bygones be bygones with Ieyasu, and became good friends with him. Speaking of Mitsunari, news came that he had taken over Osaka Castle where Gracia was hiding. Apparently, Gracia made a bold decision in ordering her servants to kill her, burn the castle down, and then kill themselves, in order to blame the act of barbarism on Mitsunari and drive Tadaoki and Ieyasu’s camp into action. It worked, but almost too well. Tadaoki’s grief and rage became unending, and during Sekigahara it’s implied he went absolute apeshit along with the 5,000 men under his control.
Miraculously surviving the most tumultuous period of the Sengoku period, Tadaoki went on to earn more land and die old and bitter. And then his son allegedly met Miyamoto Musashi, so that’s always nice.

[Seika]

Also, the list is organized by post number, which is probably not very useful to one intending to use the list to find a specific Servant.

That's how we do the front-page markup. As to trying to further organise that, I think we've probably passed the point of being able to usefully sort Servants beyond their cultural category.

Keeping an eye on this, but waiting another day or so for any other disputes to come in before I update.

[JetKinen]

I don't think i fully understand whats going on with Tadaoki's first Noble Phantasm.

Let's say he attacks someone with the Katauta pattern?

He attacks five times, then attacks even more time and finishes with another 7 attack combo while his opponent is distracted by how nice the sword is?

[Ail Don]

Basically, yeah. I just put the meter numbers down without really explaining what the numbers mean. He can then repeat the Katauta pattern of five slashes, seven slashes, and seven more slashes since it's unique to Katauta.

[Black_Knight]

Just a small correction. On the Servant list you have Black Knight as British. She's actually French.

[NMR-3]

https://pastebin.com/FUiYgnw6

I could sort by alphabetical order, Daneel, if you wanted. It just requires some simple regex, so it's not like it takes a huge effort. I don't know if it'd actually be useful, though. Sorting based on something else would require a lot more time, I think, I'd basically have to go over everything again.

[Spartacus]

There is another Olga sheets and she is categorized as a Christian Servant instead of Scandinavian.

Also, if they are Mythological Heroes, I think they should be categorized on their respective legend instead of nationality, just like Medea and Astolfo.

[Bird of Hermes]

https://pastebin.com/FUiYgnw6

I could sort by alphabetical order, Daneel, if you wanted. It just requires some simple regex, so it's not like it takes a huge effort. I don't know if it'd actually be useful, though. Sorting based on something else would require a lot more time, I think, I'd basically have to go over everything again.

Cheers!

Looks all good to me.

[Daneel Rush]

https://pastebin.com/FUiYgnw6

I could sort by alphabetical order, Daneel, if you wanted. It just requires some simple regex, so it's not like it takes a huge effort. I don't know if it'd actually be useful, though. Sorting based on something else would require a lot more time, I think, I'd basically have to go over everything again.

That would be helpful. Right now looking for a specfic character within the list of its corresponding cultural sphere is way more difficult that by any means should be. If I'm not mistaken the first thread's list is organized by Servant class and then alphabetically.

[SpoonyViking]

By nationality and letter of the alphabet, I believe.

[NMR-3]

https://pastebin.com/qmRCgt7s

There we go. Everything's (previous index + update) now been sorted by nationality, then class(es), then name.

[4score7years]

https://pastebin.com/qmRCgt7s

There we go. Everything's (previous index + update) now been sorted by nationality, then class(es), then name.

Wow, nice work.

I'm a little late with a minor fix, but my 711 (Washington) should probably just be listed as an Assassin, as everything else is just alt classes. (Like how Herc is Berserker but could be everything except Caster)

[Spartacus]

That's look good and orderly.

I'm still gonna suggest that my Olga should be in Christianity and Judaism for consistency sake with other Olga and saints.
But you doing a job that you are not obligated to do, so I can't exactly complain about it.

[Black_Knight]

Me and a few buddies are hosting a bit of a Fate RPG channel on Discord. Where would I go about making a (proper) recruitment post? Fanfic sextion of the forum or general?

[Bird of Hermes]

https://pastebin.com/qmRCgt7s

There we go. Everything's (previous index + update) now been sorted by nationality, then class(es), then name.

After some in depth scourging, only fault is that venomking's Meleager is in the British section when he should be in classics.

Anyways, thank you.

- - - Updated - - -

Me and a few buddies are hosting a bit of a Fate RPG channel on Discord. Where would I go about making a (proper) recruitment post? Fanfic sextion of the forum or general?

http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/forumdispl...oujin-Projects