But as to how they'd get along, pretty poorly I'd imagine. Bach is a serious soul who dislikes showmanship and the like.
But as to how they'd get along, pretty poorly I'd imagine. Bach is a serious soul who dislikes showmanship and the like.
Then you came out with these posts and, I'm sorry, but we have repeatedly told you to write posts that other people can actually read and engage with. To not do so is fundamentally a demonstration of disrespect toward the rest of the forum. We have plenty of ESL people, phone-posters, and so on who manage to do better than this; your single excuse so far has been to blame a malfunctioning autocorrect which you allegedly turned off without any improvement in the standard of your English. That much won't do. It's glib and unacceptable.
This is a strike on your record.
Beast's Lair: Useful Notes
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Democracy on Beast's Lair
True Name: Cain 'The First Murderer'
Alignment: Chaotic "Evil" (closer to Chaotic Good in truth)
Alternate Class: Berserker
By Corialicetale on DeviantART
Personality: A cold and aloof man, tormented by guilt over his past actions. Though his role as the first murderer has made Assassin's name synonymous with wickedness itself, his true character is far more complex then such base impressions. His nature is not a bloodstained demon who rejoices in carnage, but a young man born in an age too innocent to understand the terrible finality of death, whose single act of impulsive anger stole away everything that he held dear.
He grieves his younger sister Abel deeply and would do anything in the faintest hopes of bringing her back and undoing his most grievous sin. At heart, Assassin despises himself for his actions and does not have any qualms over how history has twisted him into a monster, saying such a portrayal is only deserved for one as rotten as he.
Though he puts on an amoral front, describing himself as the kind of person who wouldn't risk his life for his fellow man, Assassin is ultimately a kind and caring individual who will put everything on the line for a chance to atone.
Being a quintessential angsty bad-boy with a heart of gold, Assassin is excellent at attracting unwanted female attention wherever he goes. Given his gruff personality he pays no mind to any of his admirers, but of course that just encourages them even more. Ah, the whimsy of the female heart~
He also holds a soft spot for girls who remind him of his sister, with golden hair and emerald green eyes, including a certain King of Knights incidentally.
If summoned alongside Abel in her distorted state, Assassin will express revulsion and horror over what his once pure and innocent sister has become. And of course, even more guilt for having shaped her into such a monster. He will first try to "save her" from herself no matter the cost, and if all else fails insure that he is the only one to kill her once more and put her out of her misery.
Likes: solitude, Abel
Dislikes: himself, death, anything that reminds him of Abel
Talents: tilling the earth, murder
Natural Enemy: little sister
Presence Concealment- N/A
Measures the ability to cut off one's presence as a Heroic Spirit. However, the efficacy of this Skill drops sharply the moment one prepares to attack.
Despite being what can be considered the first and foremost "assassin" in human history, Cain does not possess this Skill due to having committed his single murder with the full trust of his victim and without any need to disguise his presence.
Instead, Assassin's ability to suppress his murderous intentions before striking has been sublimated into an altogether different Skill.
A natural talent to suppress one's killing intent. At this rank, even the strongest murderous intention from Assassin is effectively impossible to discern until the very moment where he attacks- upon which it is very likely too late.
Assassin's possession of this Skill reflects how his first and only murder was committed against one who knew and trusted him more then anyone. Even as he lured Abel to the wilderness to kill her, she never harbored even a single doubt to her brother's intentions until the very moment the dagger pierced her heart.
Eternal Wanderer- A
Nature of one cursed to forever wander the earth. A composite including Independent Action and Nature Of A Rebellious Spirit at the same rank, while also imposing a curse of famine upon Assassin's surroundings. His very presence depletes magical energy from the natural world. Plantlife withers to nothing around him and the soil beneath his feet becomes dry and barren, incapable of bearing life.
For the horrendous act of slaying his own sister, Assassin was doomed by God to travel the earth as a fugitive and vagabond with no rightful dwelling to call his own. The very earth which opened its maw to accept his sister's blood then forever after refused to yield to his labor, a perpetual reminder of his sin.
Aptitude For Slaughter (All)- A+++
A Skill qualifying one's aptitude for killing, expressed through various means. In this case, it conceptualizes Assassin's supreme authority as mankind's first murderer. Due to the principle by which originals exceed imitations, Assassin boasts uncontested mastery over all forms and methods of bloodshed.
Assassin's proficiency for murder is unconstrained by any particular weapon, tool or technique. Any object in his hands that can be even remotely conceptualized as a "murder weapon" is automatically reshaped into its ideal form for killing. Pens, umbrellas, kitchen utensils, lawnmower blades and even pieces of scenery; all become deadly weapons made to claim the lives of human beings in Assassin's hands. While such tools remain below the level of true Noble Phantasms, differing from the similar ability possessed by a certain Knight Of The Round Table, they receive a potent Anti-Human attribute which greatly increases damage dealt.
This Anti-Human attribute is also applied even when Assassin fights barehanded. As the first murderer, the mark of killing is engraved even into his very flesh.
As his sister's murder is a deed Assassin feels nothing but shame for, he regards this Skill as a curse and bitter reminder of the sin he despises himself for. Rather then a blessing, he embraces it as something akin to self-flagellation.
In the Berserker Class, this would manifest as the "ultimate slasher Skill" which allows him to bring forth an unending array of gory deaths through just about any means imaginable. Such debauched creativity from the pioneer of murder would surely make even the most diabolical of horror movie villains blush. However, since the Assassin which most closely exemplifies his true character in life is disgusted by his macabre "talent" and utterly refuses to utilize it to its fullest potential, such applications of this Skill have been mostly sealed.
Natural Body- E
Possession of a (once) flawless human body from birth. At this rank, Strength is merely given a + modifier.
Alongside his sister, Assassin was one of the first humans descended directly from Adam and Eve, boasting a physique unblemished by the faults of modern humanity.
However, the curse placed upon him for killing Abel has led to his rank in this Skill declining nearly to nonexistence.
Eye Of The Mind (False)- D+
Resistance to changes of visibility caused by visual interferences. Also called the sixth sense, or prescience; an innate talent to sense danger.
Assassin's legendary ties to bloodshed and killing have granted him a limited ability to sense hostile intent from others and react accordingly. While it is only a low rank due to not being a sense he ever refined in life, it nonetheless is enough to allow him to fight evenly with some Servants despite his rather low stats.
Resith Ra'tsach- For Cain Took His Sister To The Field And Slew Her (D/A, Anti-Unit): A Noble Phantasm crystallizing the most infamous and defining moment in Assassin's legend, the jealousy-driven murder of his sister Abel. Taking shape as the very ritual dagger that she'd used for animal sacrifices- and the same one that he'd plunged into her heart- participation in the primordial act of killing has left the originally humble tool irrevocably tainted with evil.
It now appears as a wildly jagged and blood-red dagger, seeming as if to pulse with murderous intent once drawn. Invoked by Assassin's reaching into his own chest and spiritually drawing it out, it is a rotten and dreadful weapon incarnating the concept of "murder" or "wrongful killing". In basic combat it merely displays the properties of an ordinary dagger raised to phantasmic tier, strong enough to intercept attacks from other Heroic Spirits but otherwise unexceptional in every way except appearance. However, three criteria must be fulfilled before this Noble Phantasm's true power manifests, in effect reenacting the conditions behind Assassin's murder of Abel.
These are- the target must have a Good alignment (which may or may not imply being actually a good person, see Gilgamesh), the target must trust Assassin at the time of attack and the strike itself must be performed dishonorably (i.e without declaring a proper duel beforehand). When these three criteria are met and the dagger pierces the opponent's body, it foists the concept of "wrongful death" upon the foe directly for a certain kill bypassing all forms of defense.
A disdainful Noble Phantasm perfect for the Assassin Class, which specializes in sneak attacks and subterfuge. However, as this Noble Phantasm reminds Assassin of his deep guilt over the death of his sister, he refuses to even draw out the weapon under most circumstances. Only if forced by a Command Seal or absolutely necessary for victory will Assassin even consider utilizing this vile trump card.
Charagma Kayin- Sevenfold He Will Be Avenged (EX, Support): A Noble Phantasm representing the mark placed upon Cain as punishment for killing Abel, forcing him to wander the earth lost and listless for the rest of his life. Not even death could end his suffering, for the presence of the mark insured that any who killed him would receive their own harm sevenfold and he, be revived without harm.
This "mark" takes the form of an intricate pattern of blood-red runic markings etched across Assassin's entire body from head to toe. A passive Noble Phantasm that activates only when Assassin receives a mortal blow. When this happens, the runes across Assassin's body will glow deeply as any and all damage from the attack is amplified sevenfold and reflected back at the opponent, leaving Assassin himself totally unscathed in the aftermath. A faultless conceptual defense and counter-attack tied up in a single package. What is deflected on the opponent is not physical injuries but "damage" in the abstract, usually translating to internal damage to organs and the like.
As a curse of retribution directly from the Hebrew God, its effects bypass Magic Resistance or protection from curses at any rank and cannot be evaded. However, this Noble Phantasm actualizes only when faced with a "lethal" attack, defined as one sure to end his life unless it activates. It does nothing regarding ordinary damage accrued over the course of battle until it crosses the threshold of "lethality".
Though seemingly an infallible ability which renders killing Assassin an impossible objective, there are in fact several ways a clever opponent may bypass this Noble Phantasm. Firstly and most obvious is simply to kill his Master and wait for him to fade away without a supply of magical energy. (However, given his high rank in the Independent Action Skill this might just be a long wait)
Secondly is to somehow trick Assassin into dealing a fatal blow on himself. In a case where "Assassin's killer" and "Assassin himself" are synonymous, the resultant curse will merely amplify Assassin's own injuries sevenfold and reflect them back to him.
The last(?) and most difficult means of bypassing this Noble Phantasm is to take advantage of how it activates only against a "lethal" attack. As such, it won't invoke in a case where Assassin dies but no one particular attack can be said to have decisively "killed him". If the opponent were to inflict countless grazing blows each one wearing away very slightly at his life-force, then Assassin will eventually perish without any singular "mortal blow" to trigger this Noble Phantasm.
The way this works is akin to the firing squad paradox in the philosophy of causality. The hail of bullets surely causes the victim's death in spite of the fact that no individual bullet bears essential responsibility.
Key Words/Craft Essences
So, I redid my old Cain sheet like I'd been talking about. His newly added Key Words/Craft Essence section is if anything even more edgy/"chuuni" then with Abel, but now that I've decided on a theme no sense in not going whole-hog with it, I suppose. Besides, it does fit the legend.
As always, be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms! Thanks.
Last edited by RoydGolden; February 17th, 2017 at 11:36 PM. Reason: Sourced FC (kind of)
Wow, the revision of Cain came out much faster than I thought. And while the first Key Words/Craft Essence was definitely 'Chunni,' the second one was somewhat of a tearjerker. The NPs were well-done, keeping their powerful potentials in check with specific prerequisites and loopholes. Overall, the update was definitely an improvement over the older version.
(Looking through the profile makes me think of a Cain Lily idea, where it's before he committed the First Murder, was just simply an aloof, hard-working "Big-Bro" who is absurdly good at taking care of crops. Probably lancer due to using a hoe to farm...)
Last edited by Zh1212; February 17th, 2017 at 01:55 PM.
I actually really like that Cain. Well-developed personality, and one of the most balanced takes on the sevenfold curse. Aptitude for Slaughter works very well for him, and eternal wanderer is good, too. The second of the two craft essences is also really nice; the contrast between the Cain and Abel versions is striking.
In summation: good stuff all around. Maybe a little verbose but it doesn't really bother me. A great improvement over the original.
Last edited by 4score7years; February 17th, 2017 at 02:08 PM.
For the whole First Assassin stuff, I think his NP affecting only Good people kinda limited. Also to requering the opponent to trust him, that seems to make it much more limited. Like not many Servants would trust an enemy normally (maybe the ~knight~ ones would?), but even these would not trust an Assassin servant, even if by prejudice (honestly, if they are in this class they tried to kill someone and are not noticed by people so yeah). I don't see the scenario of the requisites happening with a Servant, and if does happens, not with more than one.
But if he goes by the logic of "killing masters" that was the initial thought of the class, I see less chances of any Master trusting him, unless he uses Presence Concealment to pretend to be someone and get really close to them to activate the NP, but at this point, it would be use it as a normal dagger.
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Getting back into the groove with my own take on a guy whose shown up here a few times.
"The Seneschal is here! I've fought against the greatest heroes and villains of my time, what makes you think you have what it takes?!
Other Classes: Saber, Berserker
True Name: Sir Kay "The Tall"
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Place of Origin: Britain (Arthurian Mythos)
Likes: Bragging, His younger sibling
Dislikes: Courtly Graces, Being made a fool of
Talent: Finance Administration, Paperwork
Natural Enemy: Merlin, Cath Palug
Armament: Armour, Sword
Magic Resistance: B-
Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Normally he would be able to cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for him to be affected. However due to his poor relationship with Merlin and constantly being targeted by him, it has received a '-' modifier. Therefore when targeted by "Tricksters", his rank will decrease substantially to the degree where it may as well not exist.
The ability to ride mounts. All vehicles and all creatures but those of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast-rank can be used as mounts. He has just a high enough rank to qualify as a Rider due to only having real legend regarding his steed, but he can ride modern mounts such as bikes, cars and even jets to great proficiency.
Golden Rule: C+
A Skill that refers to the measurement of one's fortune to acquire wealth. At this rank, Servant is capable of amassing a great amount of wealth, as Camelot's 'Prince of Plunder' he was able to amass a fortune to last a lifetime under his administration. In addition, he is excellent in managing finances and can make for most out of any value of wealth.
Monstrous Strength: B+
A Skill that permits the augmentation of its holders Strength parameter by one rank for a time limit determined by the ranking of this Skill. Rider was said to be able to grow to a giant size and emanate a supernatural heat from his body in life. Therefore when activated as a servant, he will swell and grow in size and his body will set ablaze at no harm to him. Under the influence of the skill, Rider could be mistaken for the likes of a Fire Giant.
Sharp Tongue: A+
The art of mocking an opponent. The owner of this skill knows how to insult a targeted individual and provoke them into a desired outcome. At this rank, Rider will instinctively know the words to anger his opponent in order to make them target him and attack him recklessly. Although this may seem like a useless skill, when used correctly, it can goad opponents into an opening and is excellent in group battles. Rider was known for his disrespectful manner towards most individuals he met, however he was an excellent debater due to his argumentative attitude and is a master of trash-talk. In addition he can give insulting nicknames to everyone he meets.
Gwinam Goddwf HirNorthern Oak Mare
Max Targets: 30 People
The mount of Sir Kay and the reason for his ability to be summoned in the Rider class. It is one of the "Three Sprightly Steeds of the Isle of Britain". It is a large and powerful brown stallion of high power that shares it's riders foul attitude thus only allowing Kay to ride it safely. By releasing the true name, the beast performs an attack. It is a ferocious assault stampeding and crushing all before it. When Rider is under the influence of his Monstrous Strength skill, Gwinam Goddwf Hir shares the same effect, increasing damage and range but reducing mobility. Although not inherently trained for combat like Bucephalus, it shares a mighty bond with Rider and deep trust with him.
Max Targets: 1
The sword of Sir Kay, supposedly originally owned by the Giant Gwrnach that Kay slew. It is a shining bronze tipped blade that leaves unrecoverable wounds that cannot be healed naturally or by magecraft. Due to the sword's reducing the value of the targets maximum HP, any form of recovery will only heal up to the point where the wounds were inflicted. The curse of the sword is effectively permanent, only the death of Rider or the destruction of the Noble Phantasm will dispel the curse. In another legend, Rider was said to have slain nine witches at once with the weapon, granting it powerful 'Anti-Magic' capabilities. Therefore the greater ones mana capacity, the more damage the sword deals, making it an 'Anti-Caster' weapon which compensates for his variable Magic Resistance.
The blade was never actually named in life as according to Rider "People who name their weapons are pretentious snobs. No wonder Lancelot and Gawain did it." Though it seems that he has hopped on the bandwagon over a thousand years later.
Key Words/Craft Essences
Last edited by Bird of Hermes; March 16th, 2017 at 06:14 PM. Reason: New FC's
Kay: Interesting to see your take on this guy here, having written up a sheet for him myself. You depicted him as a lot more hot-blooded (which is probably more accurate to the legends) and the personality as a whole is well written and fleshed out. His NPs are mostly rather generic (second one is basically a combo of Diarmuid's pair) but that's pretty understandable given the lack of obviously creative NP-worthy stuff in his legend. (For my own Kay sheet, I had to resort to completely fictionalizing an NP for him based off his sharp tongue)
The Craft Essence is also nicely bittersweet. Funny how we both posted up characters in succession with Sis-Con issues (though mine is obviously far more pronounced).
Speaking of such, any commentary from you on my revised Cain sheet above?
He's also been called Caius (Latin), Kei (other welsh) and Keu (French)
It's a shame because in the older texts, he was one of the premier knights alongside Bedivere but then along came Percival, Gawain, Lancelot and Galahad being introduced centuries later and Kay became the Krillin of the round table. My version of Kay is also more accurate as despite the NP's being a bit more bland admittedly, they're closer the original texts when he was still relevant.
Also regarding Cain, it's definitely better than the old version and fits the trend you started with Abel. All I can say is that the Eye of the Mind skill isn't necessary.
Last edited by Bird of Hermes; February 17th, 2017 at 06:05 PM.
(Honestly, even after a week of looking this over, I’m still somewhat unhappy with the results. However, I can’t exactly pinpoint that problem; it’s almost like an itch telling me it wasn’t good enough. In case any of you guys find any sort of problem or apparent overpowered-ness, feel free to reply.)
Servant Class: Caster
True Name: Septimia Zenobia, or Bat-Zabbai
Alignment: True Neutral
Alternate Classes: Rider, Lancer, Archer
Catalyst: An Antoninianus (A Roman 2-Denarii coin) with Zenobia’s face on it
Likes: Hunting, Listening to the wise, Vaballathus
Dislikes: Political Corruption, "Rot", Aurelian
Talents: Leadership, Politics
Natural Enemy: Anyone from the "Festering Wound" that is Rome
Strength - B+
Endurance - C
Agility - C+
Mana - B
Luck - C-
Phantasm - B
Reactions to Other Servants: (Note: this is with Zenobia's bias)
Last edited by Zh1212; February 18th, 2017 at 06:28 PM. Reason: Changed according to criticism
I admit i have no idea who she is so i can only judge what is written here.
Don't really have anything much to say about tbh. Story and Personality are fine from what i've read, but the reason for the Noble Phantasm seems kinda flimsy. I'm supposing she is pretty obscure, and i'm sure this kind of justification happens all the time but a Last Stand NP about a Last Stand that didn't happen is pretty out there.
"Zenobia is defiant to the end" until she isn't and spends her last years in house arrest.
Mind you, i have no problem with the Noble Phantasm, i'm pretty sure i've been guilty of doing the same thing in sheets past, i'm just voicing my thoughts out loud.
I also can't really give you suggestions because i really don't know anything about her
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I also feel like Wise's Queen Authority maybe doesn't fit with her? Maybe it would make more sense if i knew about her
Was the overconfidence at the Battle of Emesa her fault? She commanded them, so they matched her overconfidence or was that something out of her control?
Ah, i see.
It was a fun sheet anyway, besides those points i, someone who had no idea who she is, didn't have much problem with it.
For anything more, you gotta wait for someone who knows more about her to read your sheet
Anyway, after watching a bunch of Kung Fu movies, heres a new sheet
ShielderfaceclaimInfoParameters and SkillsBiography & LorePersonalityNoble Phantasms
Truth to be told, i was thinking on making him for a long time, just couldn't think of a good Noble Phantasm. But i've read some Wing Chun books and managed to come up with one.
I know lots of Ip Man achievements are cinematic creations but i couldn't just ignore him after having lived through this Ip Man boom.
Anyway at some point this became a HK's Police Hero sheet, so of course i had to use Lei Wulong as faceclaim even though he is the Jackie Chan wannabe and not the Donnie Yen one. When will Donnie become an character archetype like Bruce, Jackie and in minor quantities Jet?
at some point i'll make a Counter Guardian RYUUDOU(Reikan) sheet, i promise!
Last edited by JetKinen; February 18th, 2017 at 02:20 AM.
Yes! Another Martial Arts Servant, and my favorite one at that, too!
While you did beat me to the punch on making Ip Kaiman as a Servant, you really did him justice here.
By the way, who would win: Li Shuwen or Ip Kaiman?
Last edited by Zh1212; February 18th, 2017 at 02:22 AM.
I'm not really a fan of doing powerlevel arguments with my own sheets but
Sphere Boundary is super strong so even if Ip Man is aware of him, he can really only force a draw out of him.
If invisibility is turned off, then in theory, Ip Man should have the advantage on the basis that he can shut down any offensive Shuwen can throw.
However Shuwen does use Bajiquan which is the strongest martial art in the Nasuverse so there is that.
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I also don't really like to ask for feedback, but i'm already indulging in some hypocrasy, so anyway, i always struggle making Reality Breaking Martial Arts Skills, so if possible, i please ask for some feedback on that Ip Man one.
I never know if i went too far while making those.