Anyone done John Rabe? the guy who saved like 10s of thousands during the nankling massacre during ww2?
Anyone done John Rabe? the guy who saved like 10s of thousands during the nankling massacre during ww2?
With the way the keep adding shit to gils vault, soon he will have the root in it.
Life is short, we don't need to shitpost at eachother about nasu.
Okay, first Servant. Let me know how I did, or if I did anything wrong, please?
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Character Image
Image Credit to PikachuPanda on DeviantArt.
Saint Longinus
Class: Lancer
Alignment: Lawful Good
Origin: Christianity and Judaism
Region: Roman Empire,
Parameters
Strength: C
Endurance: A
Agility: B+
Mana: C
Luck: E
NP: A++
Height/Weight: 176 cm / 81 kg
Gender: Male
Likes: Baths, Well-Written Sermons, God, Birdwatching
Dislikes: Lions, Darkness
Talents: Reciting scripture from memory
Natural enemy: King David
Attribute: Earth
Traits: Human, Male
Armament: Lancea Longini, lorica segmentata centurion armor, sacraments
Class Skills:
Magic Resistance: (B)
Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for them to be affected. This is due almost solely due to his status as a Saint, not because he had particular experience or resistance to magecraft in life, which is why the skill is a B-rank.
Personal Skills:
Sacraments: C+
As a former soldier and an early Christian, Longinus has access to the sacraments of the Burial Agency (i.e. Black Keys, the Baptism Sacrament) and the knowledge to properly use them.
Clairvoyance: E
Due to the restorative properties of Christ's blood upon his eyes, Longinus has eyesight equivalent to an Archer-class servant.
Shared Communion: C
According to tales of his death, Longinus' blood did for the governor who had him executed what Christ's blood did for him. As such, the restorative properties of his blood can be shared with others via a willing sacrifice. This allows him to heal moderate injuries of others on demand. However, any wound inflicted in this manner cannot be healed by his Noble Phantasm or by the one he shares his blood with, requiring the intervention of a third party.
Noble Phantasm
Lore
Personality
Tactics
Last edited by EonADS; May 31st, 2017 at 03:56 PM.
St. Longinus: Good job on your first Servant sheet. The only thing I would recommend is that Battle Continuation should be moved to the Personal Skills section, for it isn't a Class Skill.
The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
Coffee would be nice, though.
[Collection of my Servant Sheets]
Now Revamped!
Longinus: Given my first sheet here was also of this guy, I'm feeling a little bit of kinship with you right now.
Seriously though, this is a pretty decent sheet all around, 'specially for your first. Though Battle Continuation is not a Class Skill for Lancers so I'd say to switch that one over to Personal if you're keeping it at all (to be honest, I'm not really sure if he even needs it what with the EX-ranked regeneration NP). I know Cu had it listed as a Class Skill in Extra, but that was an irregularity and I wouldn't advise taking it as precedent.
I don't necessarily mind Longinus having a Sacrament based Skill, but it feels weird to mention him being in 'the early Church' when by all definitions such a thing wouldn't have even existed so closely after Christ's actual life and death. I'd also recommend using Clairvoyance in place of Farsight simply for standardized reference (since that's how the Skill is near-universally referred to around here).
NP-wise... Lancea Longini definitely feels underpowered IMO. Even ignoring the whole "spear of destiny" stuff (which mostly came from later Occultist sources), just being the spear which literally killed God on the cross is bound to make for a pretty potent concept. As is it honestly doesn't even sound worthy of being an NP at all, since I can't see an NP that doesn't do anything beyond being a pointy sharp thing you can stick in people. Plus there's also the fact that the Holy Lance in the Nasuverse is apparently regarded in the same light as Rhongomyniad; one of the anchors holding down the Underside Of The World. All in all I think you're severely underselling this one.
His second NP is fine and well fleshed-out. Personally, I would've had it as an ability that automatically heals all his injuries at the end of each "day" (24 hour cycle), but your take is fine too.
Last edited by RoydGolden; May 30th, 2017 at 11:15 PM.
With the way the keep adding shit to gils vault, soon he will have the root in it.
Life is short, we don't need to shitpost at eachother about nasu.
Right. Somehow I always get that mixed up. Thanks.
Heh. And here I thought I was being original.
Thanks. And yeah, that's my bad. My thought process had him as a baseline human, not a Servant who is stupid hard to kill in the first place, so I thought he'd need it to keep fighting through crippling injuries. Obviously he doesn't. Removing.Seriously though, this is a pretty decent sheet all around, 'specially for your first. Though Battle Continuation is not a Class Skill for Lancers so I'd say to switch that one over to Personal if you're keeping it at all (to be honest, I'm not really sure if he even needs it what with the EX-ranked regeneration NP). I know Cu had it listed as a Class Skill in Extra, but that was an irregularity and I wouldn't advise taking it as precedent.
Fair point, but I've always kind of had it as a headcanon that Longinus and other former soldiers-turned-converts helped lay the groundwork for what would eventually become Roa's brainchild. Thought I do agree that the whole "church" part should be changed. It was more of a cult back then xDI don't necessarily mind Longinus having a Sacrament based Skill, but it feels weird to mention him being in 'the early Church' when by all definitions such a thing wouldn't have even existed so closely after Christ's actual life and death.
Even though that's not at all what that means in proper English, of course. This is translated from Japan. Fixed.I'd also recommend using Clairvoyance in place of Farsight simply for standardized reference (since that's how the Skill is near-universally referred to around here).
I don't disagree, but the problem is that other than a barrage of occult information, there's next to nothing on the supposed powers of the spear. Frankly, I found one line of text from about the 14th century that said anything about it being anything other than a "blessed relic". And that aside, it didn't exactly "kill god". Jesus was a divine being and a mortal one at the same time, fully divine and fully mortal (which is why he's probably not compatible as a Servant). So really, he killed a seriously blessed mortal. I wanted to make it badass, but I also didn't want to just make shit up to make it there. If you have suggestions, I'd be glad to hear them.NP-wise... Lancea Longini definitely feels underpowered IMO. Even ignoring the whole "spear of destiny" stuff (which mostly came from later Occultist sources), just being the spear which literally killed God on the cross is bound to make for a pretty potent concept. As is it honestly doesn't even sound worthy of being an NP at all, since I can't see an NP that doesn't do anything beyond being a pointy sharp thing you can stick in people. Plus there's also the fact that the Holy Lance in the Nasuverse is apparently regarded in the same light as Rhongomyniad; one of the anchors holding down the Underside Of The World. All in all I think you're severely underselling this one.
Believe it or not, that was my original inclination. I changed it because his original legend gets blatantly contradicted by every other historical or apocryphal source of information about Longinus (he supposedly died from being beheaded, for example). So, with historical muddying of the waters as my justification, I swapped it around a bit.His second NP is fine and well fleshed-out. Personally, I would've had it as an ability that automatically heals all his injuries at the end of each "day" (24 hour cycle), but your take is fine too.
Last edited by EonADS; May 30th, 2017 at 11:39 PM.
Even if no specific abilities were outlined, you can still spin off something from the concept and general legend. Since the spear was most famous for killing a divine being, you could easily give it some sort of Anti-Divine attack or even a holy power due to being soaked in the blood of Christ. Or both, to make it some kind of "simultaneous holy/demonic spear" for extra Chuuni points. And if you're interested in more info on the spear's supposed powers, the Bleeding Lance from Arthurian Mythos was later identified with the one held by Longinus and said to possess "marvelous destructive power" so you could probably derive some kind of NP-worthy ability from that.
Lastly, I'm aware the actual theology of Cavalry is more complicated then simply "killing God", but since that's how it's depicted in popular culture (especially Japan) I think that sort of ability would be fair enough.
Personally I feel a "recovery upon daybreak" ability would actually be more interesting and flavorful then the raw healing factor you gave him, but that's just my opinion. After all, it is your sheet.
Last edited by RoydGolden; May 30th, 2017 at 11:51 PM.
Alright. Thanks for the tip. Will mock up and edit something in tomorrow.
Assassin: little red riding hood
Str:E, End:E, Agi:C
Mna:A, Lck:E, Np:A
Aligment: chaotic/good
Gender: female
Heitgh: 138cm
Weight: 33kg
Place of origen: french (actuly japan)
Armaments: blood-stained kitching knife
Likes:sweets, open spaces, gentle people
Deslike: agresive people, small spaces, alchohol
Talents:none(self-entitle usuless)
Skills: presence concealment(E+):it is extremily dificult to hide as a side effect her red hood,if the hood is removed this skill will rank up, but not by much.
animal dialogue(A+): all animals will follow her orders even some phantasmal beasts, it even more eficient in canines.
looks of pitifulness(A): her aperance give of a very pitiful aura, making people be sorry for her. In case of "evil" aligment, a luck check is made.
happy ending(A): a unusual skill that takes so every set number of misfortunated heppenings, her lucky will chance to EX for a brief period of time. More likely to activate in life-or-death situatiations
Noble phantasms:
The wolf: archetype-villain ( 原型悪役 ザ ヲルフォ * Genkei akuyaku Za worufo)( anty-army: B+):
The base of all villans, a realy big wolf with a hellish aperance, a high level phantasmal beast strong enough to be considered its own servant. Its actuly the torture soul of her abusive father bond to serve her for all eternity
The hallway: would you push the button, please? (あなたは、ボタンを押してくださいでしょうか? ザハルヱイ* Anata wa, botan o oshite kudasaideshou ka? Za haruwei)(anti-reality(self):A):
This noble phantasms do not come from the original story, but was born from the urban legend of the "riding hood of semina". It turn her into a illusion of sorts, a hallucination if must, making it imssible to harm her as all attack will phase throug.even if she is unable to do harm in this form as well, she will give of a aura of terror that could cause some trouble. Note that "looks of pitifulness" is still active
Lore:While one of the most know caracters of literature, there was no real "red ridding hood", so the grail end up summoning the spirit of a little girl insted. This was only possible due to the girls conections with a urban legend rapidly rising in popularity, "the little red ridding hood of semina apartments". The kitching she wield is the same her mom used to kill her father, stab her and then comit suicide.
Last edited by the god of world-0; May 31st, 2017 at 05:25 AM.
here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)
Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
Fate / White Memoria
Okay this is quite an unoriginal sheet considering it's the third iteration of this character (and all things considered, likely to be the worst). It's very predictable from me considering this is the kind of Servant sheets I do so it's probably not worth your time reading this unless you are particularly bored. It should also be noted that this sheet is based on the Play "The Crucible" rather than the historical character which may cause dissatisfaction to some. My challenge for this sheet was to not start every skill description with "This skill" or "This ability"
Servant Identity
Appearance
Skills
Noble Phantasms
pivix image used for face claim: https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust....st_id=62681060
Last edited by sherlock1110; May 31st, 2017 at 02:57 PM. Reason: Second Noble Phantasm was rubbish, reworked into something hopefully less rubbish
These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
Servant And Master Sheets
Man, even if is a sheet about a servant that has being made before, it can be original provide you change things and use your own ideas, and that you did well, the others realy make Assassin being a very bad person but your interpretação was very unique
in other topic, your Personality realy mach your avatar, it takes me wonder who influnce who
here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)
Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
Fate / White Memoria
Abigail: Welp, there goes my ideas on writing up that character. Though to be honest, your take was honestly more interesting then most of the ideas I had in mind. My main suggestion is that either Incitement or a unique deception-based Skill (call it Silver Tongue) would probably serve better then Alluring Nightingtale to represent her smooth-talking nature, since I'm pretty sure the latter Skill is for singing alone.
These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
Servant And Master Sheets
These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
Servant And Master Sheets
Anyone has opinions on my assassins?
here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)
Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
Fate / White Memoria