Create-A-Servant 2

[Ereus]

Royd did something similar in the 1st thread

Yeah I'm pretty sure I was accidentally ripping him off as I'm pretty sure I have read that thread but forgot over time.
Anyone done say Sigumund Freud?
I was thinking of a NP that is rather specific in how its strength is weaker in the modern era due to how discredited his theories are at this point.
But it would be stronger in around his era.

[sherlock1110]

Yeah I'm pretty sure I was accidentally ripping him off as I'm pretty sure I have read that thread but forgot over time.
Anyone done say Sigumund Freud?
I was thinking of a NP that is rather specific in how its strength is weaker in the modern era due to how discredited his theories are at this point.
But it would be stronger in around his era.

Don't worry I rip off sheets all the time... the only drawback is Royd trashing your sheet. Bad jokes aside I can find one Freud sheet in Create-A-Servant 1 Here but it's a Caster class. Take inspiration if you like it but I'd say that Freud needs to be Saber, Lancer or Rider class only for the sake of Freudian jokes.

[SleepMode]

Question, what rank of Charisma would a individual have if he was able to sway people from not only his native country, but also another?

[sherlock1110]

Question, what rank of Charisma would a individual have if he was able to sway people from not only his native country, but also another?

I didn't know Charisma was entirely dependent on country alone, it would be powerful nevertheless. Since it's suggested to be relevant to groups of people I guess countries count as that but whatever it is it would be strong and would need some mention in the skill description, maybe to do with Charisma affecting other groups?

[sherlock1110]

Noble Phantasm:
"Je sais tout - The Detective Arrives Too Late" [Anti-Unit] (C)
Lupin's unrivalled skill in disguise and deception taken form. He slowly walks towards a target, exerting a wall of pressure that tricks the victim's senses into perceiving Lupin as a friend, lover or even a relative, thus lowering their guard. Once Lupin is within range, he strikes the victim down before disappearing into the night without anyone noticing. As it is just an optical illusion it is possible to avoid being struck with proficient Luck or a relevant Skill such as Instinct. It won't work on the same target twice so Lupin must be careful when to use it. Also won't work on more than one person at a time so is ill suited for anything other than assassinations.

Although practically everything else has been said already does the Noble Phantasm ignore Magic Resistance? The impression that I got was that it was an extremely effective optical illusion that doesn't utilise Magecraft which would make it very effective.

Also this is probably just me but is the FC meant to be short? It's probably just me imagining things sorry to be a bother.

[Skull]

Although practically everything else has been said already does the Noble Phantasm ignore Magic Resistance? The impression that I got was that it was an extremely effective optical illusion that doesn't utilise Magecraft which would make it very effective.

Also this is probably just me but is the FC meant to be short? It's probably just me imagining things sorry to be a bother.

Aye, when I was visualising it in my head, I was thinking of an optical illusion, so I guess it would bypass Magic Resistance logically speaking.

And the FC is of a anime high schooler who was cosplaying as Arsene Lupin so he was a little on the short side.

Perhaps this one was a better FC after all...

[IMG]******************-news.com/public/images/pix/serie/20887/arsene-lupin-visual-1.jpg[/IMG]

[sherlock1110]

Servant Class: Caster

Servant Identity

True Name: John Muir
Title: John of the Mountains
Origin: Scotland
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Likes: Walking, The Natural World, Family
Dislikes: Society, Economic Materialism, Those who deny their connections to nature
Talents: Observation, Inspiring enthusiasm
Natural Enemies: Charles Babbage, James Watt

Personality: Caster encompasses all aspects of a stereotypical naturalist. Even though he may only sat for but a moment he will seem to others to be but a piece of the scenery, as immutable and unchangeable as a mighty tree. Many comparisons can be drawn between Caster and a tree watching over the forest, he is a kindly and dedicated individual who finds nothing more appalling than senseless destruction. He will accept destruction in order to sustain oneself or to achieve his own goals but is a mostly benign figure, wishing to see a happy world where perhaps Mankind can once again be in close connection with God again. It should also be noted that Caster can become very restless, he has a strong "wander lust" wanting nothing more than to walk in the natural places of the world until his body is weary before resting when necessary, as such his Master should take care not to tie him down with strict orders that they expect to be followed.

Brief Biography: John Muir was a world famous American conservationist. His work as an Environmental Philosopher led to the formation of National Parks in America and he has become a figure revered world-wide. Born in Dunbar in Scotland Muir grew up in a strict Christian background and though he remained Christian his entire life his belief diverged quite distinctly from his families. He emigrated to America and spent the majority of his life there, his writings were described as being some of the most influential in the conservationist movements.

Parameters:
Strength - C
Agility - D
Endurance - C
Mana - C+
Luck - C
NP - B+

Face Claim

I was lucky to find this one, it doesn't quite meet the "restlessness" of Muir but it's good enough in most respects, link at bottom of post.

Appearance: Caster has a sturdy build that though respectable due to his clothing and ever-present hat still exudes a rustic air. His arms are built like they were tree trunks and in many ways he comes across as a strong and indomitable paternal figure. Though he can sometimes be direct and kind when looking at someone often Caster seems to be looking far off into the distance when outside, or if trapped away in some building his agitation shows through in movements that reflect his wish to be in the natural world. Of minor note is that while his shirt and other trappings may be clean and well cared for his hat and trousers seem to be eternally covered in dried up mud and dirt picked up from walking, windswept is one of the best ways to describe his appearance as a whole.

Class Skills:

Territory Creation (E): The ability to conceive and create a territory advantageous to oneself. Despite having experience as an engineer, author and philosopher this skill is in almost all senses useless to Caster. There was some tension between him and his family due to him viewing Nature as a whole as "Home" . It allows for the creation of a building that Caster describes as "a good place to be housed in during stormy weather ... to write in, and to raise children in, but it is not my home. Up there is my home".

Item Construction (E): An aptitude for creating items, generally magical ones. Caster only produced writings in life and was never involved in Magecraft, as such his rank in this skill is abysmally low for the Caster class and only for the production of weak Mystic Codes. These generally are walking sticks that serve far better in their practical purpose than as an amplification for Thaumaturgy. However they do provide some mild aid when using Healing Magecraft.

Personal Skills:

Crossing Arcadia (D): A skill that permits the quick and efficient crossing of battlefields and countryside. An unconventional skill for an unconventional Caster, his history of walking and travel allows this skill at D rank. Caster is capable of divining a quick route even across difficult ground and can climb all but the most difficult of surfaces without expending great deals of energy. At this rank he cannot treat enemies as objects like other holders of the skill but is especially good at crossing across wildernesses at which point it becomes similar to a low rank in Reduced Earth at (E) rank.

Noble Phantasm

My first summer in the Sierra- When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe (B+, Anti-World): A Noble Phantasm that fulfills Caster's life work of Conservation, which he referred to as Preservation. Caster believed that through seeing the world as the work of God one could become far closer to him than through the Bible or other religious texts, he tried to encourage all around him to see the sublime nature of the natural world and was incredibly successful, leading to the formation of the first National Parks. The Noble Phantasm takes the form of a small battered book, like Caster's other clothes it is weathered down through constant travel and wandering. It fits into a pocket with ease and within contains a series of small notes by Caster, these would be instantly recognisable as being from Caster in life to many. Caster "plants" the book like it was a seed, from the ground grows a large tree, it has the same properties as a regular tree and as such can be easily uprooted and destroyed, requiring the Noble Phantasm to be restarted from the beginning. Within a few minutes the tree grows from sapling to full height, for those who are completely detached from Nature, viewing it as a means to an end or a purely material thing, the tree will appear to be nothing more than a regular tree (albeit one that is exuding obvious mana traces). For most however a sudden moment of awe will occur, although this will have no lasting effects. The tree taps into the surrounding laylines and spreads out into the world through a warm steam, mirroring the geysers of America. It is an ever expanding Bounded Field that converts Mana in the environment to it's goal of Preservation, slowly rewinding the world around it. Heroic Spirits will find themselves empowered as the world turns back to the time they lived in and Mana will be present in excess. As such it may appear to be counter intuitive for Caster to use this Noble Phantasm as he himself lacks any offensive or defensive measures that he can use and the Noble Phantasm is almost like a flare for even the most simple of Mages. However if given but a matter of three days the immediate environment of the tree becomes truly returned to it's natural state, it becomes a "Hole" to the Reverse Side of the World. Though this can be dangerous as Caster has no direct control of the Phantasmal Beasts they are unlikely to attack him due to his close connection with Nature. After a week Caster's Noble Phantasm will begin to reveal it's true nature. Summoning an incredibly powerful Phantasmal Beast which Caster refers to as God, this Phantasmal Beast possesses unmatched control over the Bounded Field, capable of recreating Mysteries related to Nature. Roots will move with incredible speed pulling down Heroic Spirits, a Glacier can suddenly appear to crush a foe before suddenly dissolving into mist. Ultimately Caster and this Phantasmal Beast have the same goal in mind, the cementing of this "Gods" power over the World, cutting down the Counter Force and making itself the most powerful entity. However whether it is benevolent remains unknown.

Though it does provide an environment that Caster can hide in due to his Crossing Arcadia skill, and it may eventually prevail in the Grail War, it is still a Noble Phantasm that needs great expenditure of resources to provide the time necessary for the Noble Phantasm to complete it's work.

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This sheet was designed to go along with a Master I will eventually make for the Create-A-Mage thread. It's still a very bad sheet and the Noble Phantasm is essentially a re-imagining of the Zhu Zhuang sheet I done earlier (And may just be the low point of my work next to the Beveridge sheet). Anyway criticism will probably be necessary to improve this sheet, have a nice day

[RoydGolden]

Muir: He's pretty interesting. The NP's Bounded Field being tied to the growth of a tree reminds me a little of the idea I went with for my Saint Patrick sheet. Despite his kindly personality, he weirdly sounds like he could end up being a final boss sort of character with the whole summoning "God" thing. My only suggestion is to space out the description for his NP a bit more, since as of now most of it is crammed into one giant text-block.

[sherlock1110]

Muir: He's pretty interesting. The NP's Bounded Field being tied to the growth of a tree reminds me a little of the idea I went with for my Saint Patrick sheet. Despite his kindly personality, he weirdly sounds like he could end up being a final boss sort of character with the whole summoning "God" thing. My only suggestion is to space out the description for his NP a bit more, since as of now most of it is crammed into one giant text-block.

Sorry I should've thought through the NP more before writing the sheet, I failed to flesh it out as well as others do I'm sorry to have wasted your time, I just ended up making a stupidly overpowered NP.

[4score7years]

Muir: He's pretty interesting. The NP's Bounded Field being tied to the growth of a tree reminds me a little of the idea I went with for my Saint Patrick sheet. Despite his kindly personality, he weirdly sounds like he could end up being a final boss sort of character with the whole summoning "God" thing. My only suggestion is to space out the description for his NP a bit more, since as of now most of it is crammed into one giant text-block.

Sorry I should've thought through the NP more before writing the sheet, I failed to flesh it out as well as others do I'm sorry to have wasted your time, I just ended up making a stupidly overpowered NP.

That's...not really what Royd said, at all. He could end up being a final boss, but his Noble Phantasm has pretty clear drawbacks. Besides, he said literally nothing about not fleshing out the Noble Phantasm.

I really don't understand why you're so hard on yourself all the time. From what I know about you, you seem like a pretty cool guy. Your sheets aren't trash, dude. But even if that weren't true, it doesn't really matter. Making Servant Sheets is a hobby, it's that last thing you should ever beat yourself up over. It's okay to want to always want to make better and better sheets, but that doesn't mean you should disparage yourself so much.

Besides, I'm pretty sure most of your sheets have been better than mine. I know my sheets aren't irredeemably garbage, so by transitive property I'd say there's no way yours could be.

[SleepMode]

4score is right, you really shouldn't bash yourself that hard. Besides, you should be amazed that you were able to come up with these sheets from those people/characters. I mean before you made Muir's sheet, I didn't even know about the guy! Even if you claim that your sheets are trash, the newer ones are always an step above the old ones; it's a gradual rate of improvement, so to speak.

(btw, I personally like your literary Servants sheets, keep it up!)

[RoydGolden]

Sorry I should've thought through the NP more before writing the sheet, I failed to flesh it out as well as others do I'm sorry to have wasted your time, I just ended up making a stupidly overpowered NP.

I'll just go and reiterate what everyone else has been saying about not beating yourself up. And dude, literally all I said about the NP was to space out the text blocks a bit more. Nothing about it being "stupidly overpowered" or anything of that nature, and the "final boss" comment was simply intended as an observation, not a criticism. You really need to calm down your self-critical tendencies.

I can understand though; since I tend to be rather neurotic about some of my sheets too (particularly the old ones from when I was less experienced with Servant-crafting). I just talk about it less.

[GilgameshKingOfMemes]

So this was an idea had in my head for a while and I finally decide to write it. I did make some stuff to actually fit him in a class as well as stretch some things out but I hope this sheet is at the very least interesting. If you think I am missing anything let me know.
-----------------------------------------
Servant: Caster
True Name: Peter III of Russia
Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Face Claim

Spoiler:

Strength: D
Endurance: C
Agility: B
Mana: B
Luck: C
NP: E-A

Lore:
Peter III was emperor of Russia for six months in 1762. He was born in Kiel as Karl Peter Ulrich, the only child of Charles Frederick, Duke of Holstein-Gottorp and Anna Petrovna, the elder surviving daughter of Peter the Great. The German Peter could hardly speak Russian and pursued a strongly pro-Prussian policy, which made him an unpopular leader. He was deposed and possibly assassinated as a result of a conspiracy led by his German wife Princess Sophie Friederike Auguste von Anhalt-Zerbst-Dornburg, who succeeded him to the throne as Catherine II. His death could also have been the result of a drunken brawl with his bodyguard when he was being held captive after Catherine's coup.


Personality:
Peter III is an absolute mad man with a very childish personality. He is a fan of pranks and will often mess with people when he can. He has a strong love for the military and the arts and greatly hates learning. His characteristics have been altered by the skill innocent monster one of which is a sort of anti-charisma that pushes people away but this can be canceled by Imperial Privilege. He has a short attention span and is very irrational often making strange decisions like when he publically tried and executed a rat. Such characteristics can be quite off putting compared to his child like demeanor which is further enhanced by his sociopathic tendencies and negative physical traits born from innocent monster such as his body which has been plagued with small pox.


Likes: Prussia, Sweden, the military, the arts
Dislikes: Russia, Catherine the Great
Talent: I am man skilled in all things military
Natural Enemy: Catherine the Great



Class Skills:

Item Construction (False) (D)
A Skill that acts as an equivalent of Item Construction due to the user's lack of magus aptitude. Because Peter is not a magus he wouldn’t normally possess Item Construction but with the use his knowledge of the military he can have his Toy Soldiers craft implements of war for him. Peter could craft these items himself but it takes a long time and he just lacks the attention span to do so.

Territory Creation (C)
A Caster-class Skill. It is the Skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus, such as for the purpose of collecting mana. Peter can create a war zone which can be used as an extension of the territory his Noble Phantasm covers if it is needed. The zone is very hard to enter and leave until Peter disables it or the game is complete.

Personal Skills:

Imperial Privilege (A)
An ability that, due to the insistence of the owner, Skills that are essentially impossible to possess can be obtained for a short period of time. In cases when the Rank is А or above, even the "burden to the body" can be acquired. Due to Peters dream of being a great military commander skills gained through Imperial Privilege must be military related such as Charisma or Military tactics but skills like fine arts or divinity cannot be obtained. This skill can make up for some of the negative abilities Peter has obtained through Innocent Monster.

Mental Pollution (B)
A skill that makes it possible to shut out any mental interference Thaumaturgy due to possessing a distorted mentality. However, at the same time it becomes impossible to come to an understanding with individuals that do not possess an equivalent rank of Mental Pollution. Peter III has often described as mad sociopath and a man child. With this skill Peter has little empathy for others but lives with a childish mentality and is frequently prone to make illogical choices whenever possible which can prove to be his greatest weakness. This skill has also been enhanced by Innocent Monster.

Sovereign of Magical Wands (C)
A skill that denotes the way of being as a Caster that manipulates various mystic codes. Not a true mage in life but Peter III has obtained a number of mystic codes in pursuit of his passions in the military and fine arts. His use of mystic codes makes him an odd caster as he is one that likes to often get close and personal in combat. Some of his mystic codes include his sword, violin and favorite smoking pipe.

Innocent Monster (B)
An attribute possessed by Servants whose true history and existence have been distorted by the monstrous reputations and gossips they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter, without concern for the actual person's will or appearance. As a consequence, the Servant's abilities and appearance have been rendered to conform to the specifications of their legend. Incidentally, this Personal Skill cannot be removed. This skill has changed Peter III appearance into that of a child due to the negative description of Peter provided by Catherine the Great. Peter has also gained a number of abilities, some useful and other not so much, based on the tales of his childish natures. An example of an ability is based on the tale of how Peter III supposedly slept only three hours a day and spent the rest of the day actively do to his childish restlessness which allows Peter to be very mana efficient due to him being a man who could run full throttle on little energy.


Noble Phantasms:

Spoiler:

Toy Soldiers
A Man Childs War Game
Type: Anti-Unit, Anti-Army
Rank: E-A

This Noble Phantasm serves as an incarnation of Peter III infamous obsession with the military and his toy soldiers. Peter III can use this Noble Phantasm to force normal people into becoming his personal puppet soldiers. When Peter III was alive he would often force random people, such as his servants, into pretend military drills and other scenarios which serves as a basis for this ability. While the people that are turned into soldiers are enhanced far beyond their normal capabilities in the grand scheme of things they are very weak compared to servants but they can make up for this with large numbers due to each soldier having a low mana cost. Because the soldiers are created mostly from innocent civilians they can be very effective as many good aligned servants will refuse to kill them because of that.
The second ability of this Noble Phantasm is the most powerful. This Noble Phantasm creates a palace, similar in nature to Aestus Domus Aurea, which was born from Peter III obsession with the military and the military games he would play which allows for Peter III to create a game of his design that the enemy is forced to play. The game Peter III can create must follow a certain number of rules, the first rule is that all games must be themed around the military, be it a simple game based on military drills to a complex strategy game. While the rules Peter III makes can be skewed in his favor, the enemy must also be able to win the game. How much he can make the rules in his favor can also be influenced by the nature of the game being played and how outnumbered Peter III is. Direct combat between servants may not be necessary as the games will often involve his toy soldiers and he will be willing to share his “toys” for the sake of a game. The rules of the game can include things like the sealing of skills or Noble Phantasms but in turn Peter must also follow these rules. If a rule is broken than the game will reset. Due to Peter III irrationality as well as the nature of the enemy the power of this Noble Phantasm can greatly vary, it can be prove to be very weak against servants that are military strategist or commanders. This Noble Phantasm isn’t meant to kill people but instead the winner of these games get the spoils of war. It depends on the stakes that are set up but the winner can claim things such Noble Phantasms or skills (If possible) from the enemy or set up contracts and deals like the loser is not allowed to harm a master or something of that sort.

[sherlock1110]

Peter III: For a Servant whose personality is mainly babyrage due to his Innocent Monster he still seems like a dangerous opponent. There seems to be three kinds of Caster class Servants, those whose presence is always felt as long as they are alive in the Grail War (Caster of Black, Gilles De Rais) then those who make a strong impact over a shorter span of time (Medea). The other category contains the more unconventional Casters such as Caster of Red. This one seems to blur the lines between the first and second categories, they could potentially be a Servant who acts defensively as they build up a powerbase or a Servant who constantly uses their NP to assail enemy Servants. It was an interesting read and considering his personality it makes it questionable how he would interact with his Master, he seems the disobedient type (or maybe he'd go along with everything they said, the absolute mad man).

[the god of world-0]

This is like, my first post here at all. Also english is not my first language so bear with me, or better yet, correct me

Saber: kriemhild
Str:B, End:B, Agi:B
Mna:A, Lck:E, Np:A
Aligment: neutral/good
Gender: female
Height: 168cm
Weight: 55kg
Place of origin: germany
Armament: sword
Likes: forgiviful people, quiet times, honesty
Deslike: vengence, envius people, war, herself
Talents:cooking, kniting, stabing people
Natural enemies:gunther, her old self.

Skills:magic resistence(B): as a someone from the age of gods, it is natural. But she did not experience much during her life time.

Riding(C): is a farly good rider, But not particulary famous for it.

Golden rule(A): born in royality, she was alredy very rich, both her husbands are famous for his wealth.

Hero's doomsmaiden: While during her life she would stand beside heroes, she Also was at least related to their fall. A hero who sides whith her gains a rank up in STR, AGI and END, but takes two rank downs in LCK.

Pursuit of vengence(A): in life, she did anything to acomplish her revenge. She can continue on in very adiverse situations and wistand mental attack. She will Also gain rank ups if she openly hold a grudge agaisnt her oponent, but she usualy refuses

Balmung: phantasmal greatsword, felling of the sky demon (幻想大剣・天魔失墜 バルムンク * Gensō daiken tenma shittsui barumunku)(anti-unit: A+):
The sword of her beloved that she used to kill his Assassin, because of her not being the true owner, is degraded into anti-unit and the size seems to have diminish a little, other than thatit reais all of its original abillites.

Photon ray: sword of the war god (軍神の剣 フォトン・レイ * Gunshin no ken foton rei) (anti-civilization: A-):
The sword of her second husband(?) that she hesitated to use, as it remembers her of her old, manipulative self, because of here not understanding its true nature she cannot utilize its true funcion (laserpoint of doom) but her pursuit of vengence still allows a AoE effect. It cannot be wilded togheter with balmung.

Details: she is not a super powerful servant but has some pros like the facto that she can activat her noble phantasms without give away her identite and fact that her swords complet bach other (a low-mana rapid-action single target attack and a very strong wide-range AoE attack. Her actual personality its Also easy to deal with, just do not betray anybody or get to full of yourself

[RoydGolden]

Kriemhild: Wouldn't have expected her to have Photon Ray as well as Balmung. My impression of the legend is that she actually used the former in her revenge whereas I don't think there's any record of her wielding Attila's sword, so I'm not sure if it really fits to be honest. It also feels a bit generic that her only NPs are variations off of those existing in canon.

Skills are okay, though Hero's Bridesmaid could use some more description and Pursuit Of Vengeance should probably be replaced with Avenger, a canonical Skill with similar effects. And regarding Golden Rule, her husband Siegfried (or Siegmund) himself only had it at C- rank from the Nibelung treasury so it seems kind of strange his wife would have it such a higher rank.

Other then that it's not bad for a first sheet, though in future you could definitely use to flesh them out a bit more (such as adding more of personality, for one thing). I also don't think you really need the Japanese titling for her NPs.

[the god of world-0]

While i know she did not use photom ray, i give it to her to ad flavor and balance her. I was thinking i could get away with it by saying that "her lagegend is that of someone who uses their mate's weapon"
Also the fact that none of her noble phantasms are not hers is a advantage, it lets her use then without care and dont turn her identity in
Her golden hule is so high because she is princess who mary two incredible rich guys (well, guy and gal), its kinda like combining three fonts of money
and, pursuit of vegeance its because i wanted a unique personal skill, but i may change its effect to something more like battle continuation

[RoydGolden]

Also the fact that none of her noble phantasms are not hers is a advantage, it lets her use then without care and dont turn her identity in

I didn't say it was disadvantageous, I said it felt generic. There's a difference. That said, I do see what you were going for. And I'd still say that it feels like too much for her to have Golden Rule as high as Gilgamesh (who literally owned all the world's wealth), but now with the likes of Edmond Dantes having it at the same rank I guess I can't really argue that any more. (Though it still seems dubious IMO)

Also out of curiosity, what is your username based off of?

[the god of world-0]

Ok, you manage to plant the seed of doubt, maybe i should give her a unique trump-card like np
Also my user name its a title that i made for my self While playing with my little brother and young cousins, we just create this huge combine mithology of all shows we watch being paralel multiverses forming a omniverse, is Also how i keep them from making mess, insted of giving a reprimand or ground them, i "seal their powers" and say that if they do bad things they cannot be the next god of world-0

[RoydGolden]

Also my user name its a title that i made for my self While playing with my little brother and young cousins, we just create this huge combine mithology of all shows we watch being paralel multiverses forming a omniverse, is Also how i keep them from making mess, insted of giving a reprimand or ground them, i "seal their powers" and say that if they do bad things they cannot be the next god of world-0

Wow, your family is chuuni as frick. I could totally see that being a title in some Visual Novel or whatnot...