Hypothetically speaking. I don't want any real-life stories here. In this thread we will be looking for who can come up with the greatest impossibilities, impossibly unlikely scenarios, and absurdities that are almost certain never to happen to you in real life. If they must be possible, they should st least be in the vein of slapstick comedy.
So the first person to say 'getting run over by an ambulance' gets a boot to the head.
If anyone knows what that's a reference too, I'll be amused.
Anyway, here's how I'll start this slugfest:
Opening your parachute too early… and being waylayed by a disgruntled flock of Canada geese 300 ft. from the ground.