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Thread: My Little Carnival Phantasm Can't be This Cute!

  1. #61
    We Want to Protect that Head OverMaster's Avatar
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    Trial by Fire.

    "Ah," said Gudako, never one to easily learn from experience. "So that is what happens when you tug Artoria's ahoge off! Now, I wonder what will happen if we do the same to Nero-chan...?"

    Minutes later, Chaldea was going up in flames as the Red Saber played the violin.

  2. #62
    A mecha-loving Shotacon who plays children's card games naschyamamoto's Avatar
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    Darkness approaches. Armageddon awaits. Suddenly, MHX has a refined understanding of the purpose for her existence.


    Quote Originally Posted by Elf View Post
    There was contributing. And suggestions and . . . okay a bunch of people demanding me to write this.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aiden View Post
    Well yeah, that last one always happens.

  3. #63
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    Fated to Redo.

    "Ah, Rin," Kirei smiled, stepping ahead to greet the visitor at his church. "I'm glad you finally could summon your--" Here he paused, staring at the scantily clad exact lookalile of Rin standing next to his protege.

    The Tohsaka heiress sighed, placing two fingers on her forehead. "This is Archer, Kirei. And no, don't ask, I don't really have an answer either."

    Archer smiled sultrily at the quietly stunned man of the cloth. "Good evening, Priest. However, while I do not mind being any man's object of worship, perhaps one who serves another God should not devote so much of his attention to one such as me..."

    Sitting deep at the back of the church, pouring himself a glass of wine, Gilgamesh suddenly felt an extremely uncomfortable chill running down his spine. He looked at the drink dubiously for a moment, then shrugged to himself and took it to his lips, but put the rest of the bottle aside as soon as he was done, regardless.

    Kotomine finally regained his cold aloofness, folding his arms behind his back. "I am naught but a mere arbiter, and the exact nature of each Servant does not matter to me, nor their resemblance to anyone else. As long as you have been summoned as a Heroic Spirit, then I will--"

    The church's doors were slammed open from the outside, and Archer and Rin spun around identically, one readying a bow, the other several gems between her fingers, to face a sheepish looking, downcast Matou Sakura slowly following a much livelier, longer haired, cheerful Matou Sakura who bounced in energetically, extending her arms at her sides. "Yahooo! Hey, NPC Priest!" this different Sakura waved at the once again stunned out of his mind Kirei, while Rin could oly let her jaw hang loose. "My my, we're big on reusing assets nowadays, aren't we? How do you do, I'm Servant Moon Cancer, and me and Master came here to register after deleting a few annoying bugs back at home!" She came to halt before a wincing Archer, tilted her head aside curiously, looked at Rin next, and asked her, "Shouldn't you be blonde here?"

    Kirei only could hope during the tense silence that ensued, if hope was a word that could ever apply to him at all, that things wouldn't get more unpredictable and thus more difficult to manipulate from here. With any luck, the Assassin he had procured himself would bring more uplifting news after his nightly patrol, at least in the way Kirei understood a word such an 'uplifting...'

    ---

    Emiya Shirou was not having a good night at all. But obviously someone thought different.

    "Rejoice, boy," solemnly intoned the tall, imposing man advancing towards him. "For not only I will grant you a quick demise, but you will be spared the horrors to come upon this world. In a way, intruding upon the conflict between Lancer and I was the best thing that ever could happen to you..."

    "W-Wait, aren't you the priest of the local church?!" Shirou kept on backing away until his back touched the shed's wall, finally recognizing the man's dark clothes in the nocturnal blackness. "What did I ever do to you?! Doesn't your religion forbid you from killing?!"

    He raised the huge, black blades he held in each hand. "What can you know about the forces from above, and what they intend for us?" he asked, but just as he brought his Black Keys down, they were blocked by a single, much longer blade, and Shirou shielded his eyes with an arm from the sudden glow that had exploded forth between him and his attacker. One from which rose a sword wielding figure, in black pants and a single long scarlet sleeve, his lean, yet muscular bare chest and torso almost glistening under the light enveloping him. Shirou blinked, completely marveled, because this savior who was now roughly pushing the Assassin back and out, sending him flying through the opposite wall of the shed--

    -- and now turned back to him, with a stern expression on his face and saying, "I am Servant Saber. Are you my Master?"--

    -- was, clothes aside, physically identical to him in every last detail.

    Things were only getting even stranger from here on, were not they?

    ---

    On top of a small hill overlooking Fuyuki City, two small girls sat on a gigantic polar bear, staring down at the urban lights in a thrilled, expecting silence. Admit it, as far as anime beginnings involving bears goes, this is far less cliche than 'a panda chased a redhead across the streets, under a heavy rain...'

    Until one of them pumped a fist up. "Yes, that's what I was talking about! Get ready to rumble, Onii-chan! Your little sister is back in town...!"

    The completely identical girl in furs sitting behind her on the bear grunted faintly. "Control yourself already, will you, Alter Ego?"

    Honestly, even a Caster would have been better than this.

  4. #64
    死徒 Dead Apostle King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Ranma reference is nice, but where's the Tiger-Jaguar duo? Even if Taiga wasn't a Master, that'd have been awesome to see

  5. #65
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    I couldn't think of a proper way to include her without stretching the gag way too much.

    ---

    Movies.

    "Master, Master!" the Servants asked. "Let's play the movies game!"

    Fujimaru Ritsuka laughed good naturedly. "The movies game? Which movies, anyway?"

    "Enter the Dragon," Lancer Bathory said.

    "The French Connection!" Rider Astolfo said.

    "Puss in Boots," Rider Drake smiled, clicking her heels together.

    "The Spy who Shagged Me?" Assassin Mata Hari smiled.

    "How to Train your Dragon!" Kiyohime said.

    "Chariots of Fire!" Rider Medb said.

    "Sister Act," Alter Ego Kiara said.

    "Child's Play..." Archer Kuro purred.

    "The Italian Job," Saber Nero said.

    "You, Me, and Everyone we Know," Saber Fergus said.

    Ritsuka blinked, starting to feel nervous for some reason.

    ---

    "You're saying they did WHAT to Sempai?!" Mashu gasped in horror.

    Da Vinci shrugged. "Basically, Some Like It Hot, so he got Tangled in A Series of Unfortunate Events. With The Usual Suspects, of course, and--"

    "And--?!"

    "A Few Good Men."

    "What?!"

    "Don't worry, they used Grease."

    "W-Where?!"

    "Where the Eagles Dare."

    "Circe-san, too?!"

    "It was a Clash of the Titans, after all."

    "Inglorious Bastards!"

    "While You Were Sleeping," Da Vinci nodded.

    Mashu raised her shield and howled furiously, "Apocalypse Now!!"

    "... This is the End," Da Vinci concluded quietly, and she was right.
    Last edited by OverMaster; November 8th, 2018 at 04:35 PM.

  6. #66
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    A Typical Afternoon in the Offices of Type-Moon.


    "Okay, then, how about Heroic Spirit Assassin Edward Gein?" he suggested next. "He inspired both The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Psycho, so we can mix Leatherface and Norman Bates into a single Composite Servant! And he'll be easily recognizable without us having to pay royalties to either movie franchise!"


    "My God!" one of his colleagues said. "That's it! You're brilliant!"


    "We can get Takehito Koyasu to voice him!" suggested a second one.


    "Maybe we can rework him into a kawaii girl, though?"


    "Oh dear," another soberly realized. "Our lives, what in the world are we doing with them...?!"

  7. #67
    1. 2. 3. 4. We are cells at work! RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Was Gein the one who believed his victims' souls would become his slaves after death?

    I remember actually considering writing him up as a Servant a while ago (as a Rider/Assassin Double Summon with a Ghoul Car NP) and would've given him a Psychopomp (False) Skill based off that anecdote.

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