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Thread: My Little Carnival Phantasm Can't be This Cute!

  1. #101
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    Dec 2016
    Reality Ensues.

    The peasants looked at the gigantic patch of scorched earth, burnt grass, shattered rock, and shredded rubble up the foggy city.

    "Sooooo..." one of them asked the one standing by him, "What was all that about, anyway?"

    His longtime friend shrugged. "Beats me. They wanted to build some sorta 'Clock Tower' complex, spanning several buildings lent by the King, see? I did some work there for them, there was a lot of digging and tunneling involved. But they all were so much of a buncha backstabbing, psychowhatcallits, smug paranoid freaks they turned against each other while discussing how would it go, and, well..."


    They kept on looking at the smoking ruins, still stinking of the stench of the dead. "Them were witches, if y'all ask me," an old woman commented. "Good riddance t' bad rubbish."

    Slowly, they began to scatter away as the King's men commanded them to go home, and life returned to normal.

  2. #102
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    Dec 2016
    Archer's True Identity.

    Please don't ask which route this is, but Shirou, Saber, Rin, Archer, Shinji and Rider had just all pulled back from a violent three way battle at the park, each Servant silently flinching as they subtly nursed fresh, large wounds.

    Well, Shirou, Saber, Rin, Archer and Rider were pulling back. Shinji had stood back the whole time. That had been mere strategic acumen and not cowardy, really, and he would prove so, by boldly standing behind Rider while pointing and saying, "Archer! Wait! Before this goes any further... listen to me!"

    Shirou blinked. "Shinji? You still are here? I thought you had ran away!"

    "I'm not talking to you, Emiya!" Shinji snapped.

    "Well, actually--" Archer groaned, then shook his head. "Never mind. What do you want, then? Giving up already?"

    "I have figured your identity out!" Shinji told him. "And that's why there's no reason for us to fight!"

    "Oh, really?" Archer snorted, while Rin looked about to vomit all of a sudden, and Shirou, Rider and Saber only frowned in confusion.

    Shinji smiled and nodded. "You are no famous, renowned hero in this era, that's for sure. Nothing about your attire or weapons, or even your fighting style, refers to any famous fighter from any particular legend. Yet you're obviously skilled, I'll give you that. And handsome."

    Shirou blinked. "Shinji, are you trying to seduce Tohsaka's Servant?!"

    "Well, I guess it's the best he could do by this point..." Rin snarked bitterly.

    "I'm not!" Shinji stomped a foot down. "Archer, I've read on all there's available to learn about the Throne of Heroes. My family started the means to contact the damn place, after all! I know the leading theories are it's timeless, spanning past, present and future. That's why your legend isn't known to us; it hasn't been written yet! But it will, oh yes! You come from the future! And since Tohsaka is piss poor now and couldn't allow herself a catalyst, she must have summoned you through compatibility--"

    "Spoken by the guy who lives in the Addams Family manor about to break down and covered in bugs!" Rin yelled at him. "When was the last time you could allow yourselves a decent exterminator?!"

    Archer, meanwhile, was just scowling at this rambling idiot. Had he understimated him somehow?

    Shinji kept on pointing at him, confidently. "And I've also learned use of several types of magic, mostly those allowing shortcuts to hardworking but otherwise... differently gifted types, may darken the sky and bleach the hair down! So, let's recap! Who is no doubt fated for a future of greatness, has a compatibility with Tohsaka, is a clever combat strategist, and is devastatingly good looking and cool?"

    "Are you trying to tell us," a jaded Rin said, "Archer is me from the future?"

    "Archer, you're clearly ME!" Shinji grinned. "You can drop the pretenses, Heroic Spirit MATOU! I know you have come here to witness my, nay, our triumph, and so now I welcome you as my ally, Handsome...!"

    While Saber, Rin and Rider only blanched out in disgust, Archer blinked, clenched his teeth, looked as if brimming with untold white hot fury for several seconds, tightening the grip on his blades...

    And then he began laughing hysterically, just at the same time as Shinji.

    Shirou blinked, looking back and forth between them. "... wow. I suppose this explains why both of them hate me so much, then...!"

  3. #103
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    Dec 2016
    Fate Netorare Night.

    "Bwa ha ha!" Illya laughed, sitting on the shoulders of her hulking Berserker. "Prepare yourself, Onii-chan! You and your ugly Servant will now be crushed by the powerful Lu Bu, General of Repetition!"

    "Curses!" Shinji said. "Rider! Aim at the little troll, now!"

    Drake grinned, turning her flintlocks at Illya's head. "Right between the eyes, Boss!"

    "Shinji, no!" Shirou shouted. "Saber, do something!"

    "Umu! Of course, Praetor!" the blonde charged ahead, her sword ready, only to be stopped when an austere man in a gray suit blocked her way, kicking her in the chin and back. "What felony--?!"

    "Uh hu hu hu!" chuckled the rose haired Caster, stopping by her man's side. "I'll have your head yet, Saber! I have magically charged my dear husband, making him more than a match for your pathetic skills...!"

    "Kuzuki-sensei!" Rin gasped. "Quick, Archer!" she turned to her Servant. "We'll have to ally ourselves with Emiya... again!"

    "Geez, what a bother..." Robin Hood sighed, preparing his bow.

    "Don't mind me, I'm just passing by, trying not to die, thank you," Elizabeth Bathory casually said, walking past them with her spear thrown over her shoulders.

    Then the room's door flew open from the outside, and they all froze in place. Artoria, EMIYA, Cu Chulainn, Heracles, Medea, Hakuno, another Shinji, Rani VIII and Dan Blackmore all now stood tightly crowded at the doorstep, gaping and livid.

    "How could you...!" Artoria finally said, outraged. "And you!" she turned on to Gilgamesh, who sat aside on a couch lazily caressing himself. "You were just watching...?!"

    "This is the King's patrician fetish," Gilgamesh aloofly said, nose upturned.

    Tamamo hiccuped a few times, then shook a fist high and screamed, "ASSASSIIIIIIIIIIN...! YOU HAD A JOB...!"

    Outside, sitting at the gates, Li Shuwen and Sasaki Kojiro listened to the scream and shared a small smile, bumping fists. "Worth it," one of them said.

    Julius grimly stood aside, hands in the pockets of his coat. "Someday, perhaps, I'll understand what the devil has transpired here..."

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