Ah, that's who it is. I've seen him around, but not enough to recognize his name (or recognize him based on intentionally anonymous adjectives).Originally Posted by OverMaster
Ah, that's who it is. I've seen him around, but not enough to recognize his name (or recognize him based on intentionally anonymous adjectives).
Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon created and own Fate Extra and Fate Extra CCC.
No monetary profit is being gained from the creation of this piece of… fanfiction.
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Fate Extra CCC in:
Secret Garden of the Sinful Watermelons.
Based on the mini-manga published by Koha Ace.
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It was a beautiful, bright summer morning at the artificial beaches of the Moon Cell. An environment created by management so Masters and Servants alike could relax in between the taxing struggles of the Holy Grail War. After all, a nonstop conflict would simply leave everyone too wrecked, too quickly for the process to reach a satisfactory conclusion, and Sessyouin Kiara just liked to see young attractive people in swimwear.
So, it had come to be that said morning Emperor Nero, the ever glorious Saber, was walking out of the dressing rooms with her golden hair combed into girlish twintails, her buxom body clad in a white and orange striped bikini that left rather little to the imagination as she happily dashed over the white sands. Under an arm, she held a huge, colorful beach ball, and she called out, much like an eager big child reaching for her best friend, “Praetor! Over here, let us play! I shall finally show you why I was the best player of this sport in the whole Empire!”
Marching behind her at a far more dignified pace, her feet in sandals instead of bare like Saber’s, the fox-tailed, fox-eared pink haired Caster, Tamamo-no-Mae, the sole woman in the Moon Cell who could compete with Saber in beauty, made a condescending little smirk, lightly pulling at the corner of her pink lips. “Did you actually have such games during your reign, or are you just attempting to fool my husband, shame on you?”
Saber looked back over her shoulder at her rival, who wore a blue bikini even more daring than hers, to the degree it was more like a triangle of blue on each nipple, the crotch and the buttcrack held in place by strings. “What are you talking about? We had all sports, we invented all of them, and I was the best player in every last one of them! Do you ignore everything about the story of sports, no-good lazy jackal?”
Before another fight could break out between them, their common Master, Kishinami Hakuno, a petite, cutely average slim girl with long, flowing brown hair, stepped out of her own dresser, adjusting the simple white bikini with a frilly micro skirt that she had put on one last time. “Ahhhh,” she sighed, enjoying the summer warmth, “this is nice, I hadn’t been to a beach since I was little. Sorry, what were you saying, Saber, Caster?”
Both Servants pulled away from each other, letting go of their respective cheeks and bikini straps. “Nothing, Master!” they innocently said at the same time, standing straight like the perfect figureheads of correction.
“We were just wondering about the perfect calm of this day, don’t you also think it’s wonderful?” Caster added then, smiling as she leaned ahead, towards the younger girl. Her arms were now crossed behind her back, her fingers twiddling together, imagiing they were groping tender, fresh skin. “True, I live for battle, but also for the domestic bliss of marital excursions such as these!”
Saber scoffed. “You mean you are not here to conquer? How typical of thee! As for myself, I shall make this beach Praetor’s property! My arm shan’t rest until all of it has knelt to you, Master!” she swore, producing a red rose out of… somewhere and offering it to Hakuno, falling to a knee before her.
Hakuno, however, already had skipped over to where Archer had set a small seaside food stand, under a large red and black umbrella. “Oh, good morning, Archer!” she happily greeted her third Servant, the mysterious, tanned and white haired man in the shorts and open jacket. “Making business since very early, I see!”
“Oh, hey, Hakuno,” Archer vaguely nodded at her, with a small smile as he set more fish on the grill. “Yeah, I learned a lot on the value of money from my last Master. But for you, of course, anything’s free.”
“Thank you,” Hakuno said while behind her, Saber and Caster sniffled together, being reminded of Kishinami’s preferences, “but I think I’ll pass on for now. I’d like to go swim first, and, um… have you seen Gilgamesh?”
Archer cringed for a moment at the mention of that name, even more than Saber and Caster had just done. “Hm, well,” he rasped then, “I think he went away to go skinny dipping. I don’t know, I wasn’t paying a lot of attention to him.” He always tried his best to ignore the head-butting, conflictive ‘fellow’ male Servant and Hakuno’s fourth unit, as he had a personal bad history with him. That, and Gil was just a dick most of the time.
“Uwaa!” Hakuno said. “That’s not something I want to see!” Then she paused. “Which way did he go?”
Archer pointed southward, way past the spots of the beach where Alice and Nursery Rhyme were making sand castles, Francis Drake was downing bottle after bottle while Shinji yelled at her to stop, and Karna chased hermit crabs around for a whining, sweaty and self-fanning Karagiri Jinako, who rested on her stomach on a beach blanket, with the top of her bikini undone and her breasts pressed down against the blanket. “That way, I believe.”
Hakuno stared intently in that direction, eyes sparkling intently. “I see! Well, better NOT going there, then!”
Archer nodded wisely. “That’s so right, Master.”
“No matter what!” Hakuno added, still looking that way.
Archer nodded again. “You said it!”
Hakuno chewed on her lower lip. “Although maybe we should go to remind him this isn’t a nudist beach…! Unless it turns out it is, of course, in which case I’ll have no choice but joining hi--”
Caster coughed loudly, rushing back to Hakuno’s side. “Forget about the King of Braggarts, Husband! Let’s instead use this time to create some burning summer memories just for the two of us!”
Saber, not to be outdone, made her way to Hakuno’s other side, wrapping her arm around hers. “What are you going to show her, the spots where you can hunt for the best mice and ferrets? Praetor, no Empire ever held more beaches than ours! I can show you everything there is to know about seaside entertainment! And if it’s a nudist beach that your heart desires, well…!”
“Hey, come on, now!” Archer grumbled, tapping down with a large metal spoon on his stand. “Don’t start fighting and throwing out orgies on Sakura’s private beach! The nerve of you, pulling that kind of behavior behind her back after she invited us…”
“Ah?” said an approaching Sakura, the Cell’s nurse A.I., coming from behind Archer in a white bikini and sandals that flattered her generous, healthy figure. “What are you talking about, Archer-sempai? I didn’t send any invitations around! I just got one myself!”
“Eh?” Archer looked back at this long familiar presence who always brought him so many good memories. “Seriously, Sakura-san? But then who—Oh, crap.”
Then, a second Sakura, this one with much longer purple hair and wearing a black bikini instead, appeared out of nowhere in a digital flash, right before Hakuno and the others, spinning around in her bare feet while spreading her arms open, large breasts bouncing like balls. “Yesssss!” this new Sakura all but cackled, winking at Hakuno with bombastic enthusiasm. “That’s me, alright! The Black Blossom of Summer, the unstoppable burning passion under the sun! Your dear hostess and administrator, owner of this nifty resort, B.B.!!”
“Oh, hello, Nee-san,” Sakura waved with a small smile. “Good to see you having fun despite all of your duties!”
“Yeah, duties she should be returning to ASAP,” Caster muttered, her former good mood spoiled.
“Oh, don’t be that way, Foxie!” B.B. giggled, snapping her fingers and then reformatting the whole area of the beach around themselves, turning it into a large games arena. Moreover, while most of the beachgoers suddenly sat in stands by the sidelines, all of a sudden Archer, Caster and Saber were buried up to their necks in the sand, their mouths fully covered by sealing tape with small smirking B.B. emblems all over it. “That’s not the attitude for a contestant in the latest B.B. Channel! Yeah! Now that’s more like it!”
“You’re abusing your Administrator privileges again!” Saber cried, but it only came out as a muffled, “Yuuhhh bssshnnng yuuhhh munuuussttt rruuuu gggnnnn!”
“It’s the classic, timeless ‘Split the Watermelon’ game, B.B. Channel style!” B.B. giggled, hopping around on one foot while athletically throwing the other leg up, giving the audience a very good look, all but mesmerizing them. “A simple, easy to learn and master main attraction, made it all the flashier and trickier by Yours Truly! Oh, what a wonderful improvement! Such a stroke of genius! Let’s give a hearty applause, then, to the first contestant in this flash round, everyone’s favorite Master and voted Most Popular Bachelorette in the Moon Cell, Kishinami Hakuno-chan! Whoo-whoo!”
“Nee-san,” Sakura sighed from her seat, then blinked as Robin Hood gallantly offered her a cone of ice-cream. “Oh, thank you very much!”
“Okay, it’s my turn already? Thanks! Thank you!” a blindfolded Hakuno stumbled erratically out of the stands for the contestants, where an also blindfolded Fujimura Taiga swung in practice, more often than not whacking the screaming Shinji over the head. “Where are those watermelons now? I’m going to eradicate them with extreme prejudice, alright!”
“What is this now, Ranma filler?” Gawain demanded. “This is not only foolish but dangerous! Why aren’t we stopping this immediately?”
“Who cares? Be quiet!” groaned Elizabeth Bathory, taking a large sip from her Jumbo cup of Cola. “Pigs exist only to be whacked, there’s no better entertainment than that! Well, other than the concert I’ll be offering afterwards, that is!”
“You won’t!” B.B. told her while setting the last watermelon down, on top of Archer’s head. Saber and Caster already had theirs on their own scalps, where they waited helpessly as targets. B.B. just as quickly regained her festive tone and giggled for Hakuno. “Over here, Kishinami-chan! Over here…! Whack them all and you’ll be awarded a surprise fabulous prize, an all expenses paid date with B.B., sensation of the Moon Cell, herself! Oops, not a surprise anymore! Well, think of it as incentive, then!”
“A date, really…?” Hakuno wondered, cheeks flaring pink as she readied herself with her reglamentary wooden stick. “W-Well, not that I care about dates with other girls, but I guess I’d better win it so B.B.-chan doesn’t fall in with some dangerous guy, or something, that’s all…!”
“What’s up with you and falling for the bad people around us?!” Archer demanded, but sadly it only came out as a garbled “Whuz uu wuuu uuu fuuuu fuuu buuhhh puuuu uuuruuu uuuu!”
“Okay, then here it goes!” Hakuno laughed, swinging for the watermelon at the middle. “BANZAI!”
“UMUUUU!!” Saber cried, since the stick was going down in a perfect trajectory for her head. She moved her neck aside and dodged just in time, as the stick hit the sand instead.
“Ahhhh!” Hakuno moaned, hearing the loud honk of a sign marking her failure. “Did I just miss? No way, I thought I had it for sure! C’mon, Archer, Saber, Caster, you should be rooting for me! Where did you go all of a sudden, I can’t hear you guys! Anyway, this time I won’t fail…!”
And she swung again, but this time, a sharp chain flying through the air sliced her stick in two. At the exact same time, similar ends of a long tossing chain, sparkling under the sun, flew over to neatly slice the watermelons on the three Servants’ heads, cleaving them apart while leaving the trio themselves unhurt. And even more extensions of chain rose from the sand, pulling the Servants out with them, then unceremoniously hurling them into the sea.
“What in the world?!” Saber said, instantly springing back from the water and ripping the tape from her face. Recognizing the golden chain flying back to its owner, she gasped. “Gilgamesh!”
“Oi, who’d have thought it…” Archer mumbling, rubbing the large red mark left all over his mouth by the tape. “The King of Hubris is feeling generous today, lucky us…”
“Yeah! And unlucky HER!” Tamamo growled, leaping out of the water and towards B.B., starting to chase her all over the beach. “You just stay quiet a moment while I eat you alive, B.B.! Seriously, I’m going to devour you whole!”
“Not if I get her first!” Nero shouted, joining the chase and swinging Archer’s beach umbrella around like a sword. “B.B., Phoebus could reach even every corner of my vast Empire, but… I am going to shove this up YOUR place where the sun does not shine!”
“Ah ha ha ha, what kind of clumsy threat is that?!” B.B. laughed while easily running away from them, the chase taking place in wide circles all around the coast. “And seriously, it’s obvious from those words you two are just dying for some sex in the beach!”
“SHUT UP AND DIE ALREADY!”
“Hmm?” Hakuno blinked, daring to pull her blindfold up. “Did I do it? I could swear I heard like I had—Ah!” she beamed happily, looking down at the smashed watermelon pieces all before her. “I did it! All of them in a single swing, too! Wow, I’m good!”
“Hm, hm, hm!” came an arrogant voice from above, and Hakuno’s heart swooned. “Well done, then, mongrel!” resounded the condescending voice of the King of Heroes. “You can have that date if you wish for it, of course. It’s hardly a prize I would care to claim for myself…”
“Ah! Gilgamesh!” Hakuno spun around happily. “You came to cheer for me, I’m so—UWAAAAAA!!” she cried, dropping immediately on her back, propelled by two huge jets of compressed blood streaming from her nose, and falling unconscious with a huge smile on her face.
Bathory looked apart in red faced disgust from the humongous golden glory between the legs of the King of Uruk, proudly standing on top of a nearby hill, overlooking the procedures with arms haughtily folded over his naked torso. “Won’t that guy ever stop flashing us like that, seriously?!”
Robin Hood flinched miserably. “I’m having bow inadequacy right now, so much,” he had to confess.
“This is bad civilization,” Altera icily said from where she sat enjoying a large cup of shaved ice with cream. “Then again,” she added after a pause, “maybe I could find an use for one as him in my Faction…”
---
The Beginning!
The Tragedy of Saber and Archer.
She looked at him in thoughtful silence for a moment. Even more thoughtful than her usual silences, that was. He waited patiently, even though he already knew the answer all too well. Still, he also knew she had to say it. For her own good, she had to take that out of her chest.
Perhaps, in hindsight, her whole life would have been much better, had she spoken her mind more often.
"I'm sorry," she told him, her tone respectful and considerate but still distant and impersonal. "But it'd never work. Even leaving my own issues aside, too little of the Emiya Shirou I loved remains in you."
He made a small, apologetic smile. "I wish I could say the same about you."
She frowned. "That's what I mean. That way of yours, of phrasing things so they are hurtful while remaining sincere... that's not like him at all. He never wished to hurt others, even in the slightest way. It was an impossible goal, of course, but it still was a big part of why I loved him."
Archer shrugged. "That's okay. I didn't expect for anything else. Just making sure, before the end, you would have heard it from me, in clear terms." He took his head back and sighed. "I'm sort of sick by now, about never saying these things while still having the chance."
"And then why don't you say them more often?" Saber asked, even though she knew she was not one to talk on the subject.
His sad, small smile returned. "Maybe because, whenever I do, I phrase them in ways that are hurtful. Even if they are sincere."
She blinked, took on that with a throughly baffled expression that was so unusual in her, and then, with the sudden drive of a moment's decision, covered the distance between them and kissed him soundly.
Because even if that was their tragedy, perhaps, just perhaps, it didn't have to end as one after all.
---
Mashu, who had been looking for them only to find them while absorbed into each other, paused only for the briefest of instants before silently pulling back and closing the door after herself.
Good work, OverMaster.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Kirby!!!!!! I need your animu gun girl with shining eyesssssss!
Nevertheless, good work indeed.
Kentucky Fried Kirei, nah i'm joking. Nothin here
Even ▆▆ end up on that place again
The special hell on hill full of swords ---------------------------------------------------------The hill of bloody battlefield
Why Can't We Have Semiramis Things.
"This," Da Vinci said, placing a large slab of rock on her desk, "is why I wanted to talk with you."
Medea remained calm and in control. "I fail to see what does that have to do with me."
The other Caster sighed. "You will deny it until I spell it out loud, won't you? You know we need all the Servants we can summon here, for the fate of mankind. We shouldn't sabotage the difficult to get by relics we have to perform new summons, just for... for whatever crossed your mind when you did this!"
"Please be more precise," Medea coolly requested.
"You knew, you had to know," Da Vinci placed a finger on the slab, "this is a relic fragment from the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. And we know you knew this, because this," the finger tapped on a slight mark on the rock's surface, "matches the shape of your Rule Breaker blade, as we learned as soon as we ran a study on it, to see why it wouldn't work as intended. You deliberately sabotaged her summon. Why would you do that, even while knowing everything at risk here?"
Medea let out a small exhalation, then said, "She's redundant as long as I'm around!"
"She's not! If we can have fifty Artorias running around, we also can have someone else who vaguely sort of looks and acts like you!"
"Oh please! Even those who knew her aren't in any hurry to see her! Not even the Avenger! By Hades, her absence is one of the few things that give Mordred some measure of contentment in this place! Would you risk sacrificing Mordred's efficiency in battle over someone who is, I insist, redundant?"
Da Vinci stared icily at her over the desk, before just giving up when Medea failed to flinch at all. "Okay," the Renaissance Servant evenly said. "Now explain why you did this too," she demanded, holding a white long sleeved sweater with dagger slashes all over it.
"That has an even easier answer," Medea quickly replied. "Tsukihime does not exist, after all..."
wait wait wait, medea slashed Arcueid? How?
Not Arcueid, but the catalyst they'd have used to summon her.
You Keep Doing This to Me...
Artoria then narrowed her eyes and icily growled, "Damn you, Lancelot."
The other Saber swallowed nervously, hastily sitting up on the bed while pulling the sheets up against his chest. "Your Majesty! I can explain it if you only will let me, I swear...!"
From the other side of the bed, Shirou blinked helplessly, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. "Yeah," he said very quietly. "That'd be very nice of you, since I don't remember you even were a Servant in this Grail War in the first place..."
Wait, what? How did that happen?
Did he survive in the place of Gilgamesh or something?
... The punchline is the whole thing has no logical explanation.
Fate Open Microphone Night.
Luviagelita walked to the mike, cleared her throat, then asked with a smile, "Why was Tohsaka beaten down by the Fantastic Four? They misheard the Thing as saying 'It's clobber Rin time'! OH HO HO HO HO H--!"
The trap door opened under her feet. She plummeted with a yelp.
---
Shinji walked to the mike, cleared his throat, then asked with a grin, "When Emiya gets sick, why does he go to a blacksmith instead of a doctor? Because his body is made of swords! Ah ha ha ha h--!"
The trap door opened under his feet. He plummeted with a yelp.
---
Kiara walked to the mike, cleared her throat, then asked with a smile, "So! What's Andersen-kun's problem with Frozen anyway? He can't let it go! Eh he he h--"
The trap door opened under her feet. She plummeted with a yelp.
---
Amakusa walked to the mike, cleared his throat, then asked with a smirk, "Do you know why Jeanne-san is always so burnt out? She's always burning the candle at both ends! Ah, ha ha ha h--"
Someone threw a tomato at his face, and then the trap door opened under his feet. He plummeted with a yelp.
---
Mordred walked to the mike, picked it up with flair, then asked with a grin, "Hey there, why Medb hates Cheetos? Because they are 'dangerously cheesy'! AH HA HA HA H--!"
The trap door opened under her feet. She plummeted with a yelp.
Artoria began bashing her head against her table. "Why, God, why..."
---
Moriarty walked to the mike, cleared his throat dramatically, then asked with a perfectly straight face, "Good evening. So, when does a comedian go low enough? Why, when he goes into the basement to rig the trap doors before his act starts, of course..."
Trap doors opened under every seat in the audience. The public plummeted with a shared yelp.
Moriarty, still completely unsmiling, briefly clapped to himself, turned around clicking his heels together, and marched back behind the curtains.
And that wraps tonight's entertainment up.
The Forbidden Room.
"That," Artoria sternly told her son as she pointed towards that door, "is Shirou's most private, personal room. We'd both be thankful if you never entered it in any way, shape or form..."
"Like I'd care about any secrets that geek's keeping," Mordred snorted.
---
"You have to keep finding new and growing ways to defraud my trust, don't you?" Artoria asked as she seemed to appear out of nowhere behind Mordred, later that night, despite lacking a Spirit Form. The younger, Daisy Dukes-and-tube top Servant yelped in surprise and turned around.
"N-No, of course I wouldn't-- care enough about any of this to come here willingly! I just got lost in my way to the bathroom, that's all! Japanese houses have confusing layouts!"
Artoria frowned at her, picking the carpet from the floor and placing it back on top of the row of colorful costumes on mannequins. "Shirou's dream has always been being a superhero. Why wouldn't he try to prepare himself for it?"
Mordred blinked. "You mean he really puts on those ridiculous things and goes off to stalk the nights like a Vigilante?"
Artoria shook her head. "Not yet, because he thinks he's not ready. These are only discarded prototypes he's made himself over the years."
Mordred winced in disgust. "Why doesn't he just throw them away? They're all awful!"
"They're still something he's invested a lot of time and loving effort into, and it's hard for him to let go," Artoria mused. "Besides, he says he always might find a sidekick..."
"Ah, right," Mordred nodded sagely, "the sidekick always has to wear something more ridiculous than the hero, unlesss his name is Kato..."
"I'm teaching him to drive the Shirou-cycle right now," Artoria pointed at a shiny black V-Max at a corner of the huge room. "He's got the makings of a fine driver, I'm sure he'll be ready soon enough, just in time for his license..."
Mordred sweatdropped. "Shouldn't you keep that thing in a garage?"
"These are some gadgets he's considered for his mission," the older Saber went on, showing her off the shelves lined up with dozens of small artifacts. "Darts, grappling guns, throwing bolas, lassoes, he even made his own formula of stun gas..."
"Nice to see he's got so much faith on his magic skills to keep him alive," Mordred sneered. "Seriously, though, why not just to pack guns?"
"Shirou respects all human life, there are lines he simply would never cross," Artoria said solemnly.
Somewhere else, Archer sneezed.
Mordred chuckled. "Well, I suppose I'm toast right now, correct? I'm the typical noisy meddler who learns the hero's secret identity, so I guess you'll kill me now, won't you?" she sarcastically asked her father.
Artoria stared blandly at her before motioning at her to leave the room already.
"I was serious about the guns, by the way," Mordred said, arms folded behind her neck, as Artoria carefully locked the door again from the outside. "I used to know this guy who was really good with guns, and that kept him well alive for a long time..."
"I am glad," Artoria dryly said, "your experiences with gunslingers have been better than mine. So, what kind of outfit more ridiculous than his did he make you wear?"
Mordred scowled. "I hope you end up wearing the abomination on the fifth mannequin, Father!"
Aaand that's another weird parallel between Stay Night-verse and Apocrypha-verse that I hadn't noticed. That said, while I reckon Kiritsugu would be just a liiittle bit better in a fight (if nothing else, just because of sheer ruthlessness) I'd take Sisigou over him almost any day just because of personality.
...of course, there is also the matter of Arturia's S/N and Zero outfits versus Mordred's. No matter which Master you choose something of value's going to be lost.
Development.
"I have news for you," Nightingale stoically told Summer B.B. "Due to all that tanning you got in Hawaii, your Class has just changed to Moon Skin Cancer."
Servants who Never Should be Summoned.
Beast.
Tohsaka Tokiomi stared, wide eyed and pale, up at the gigantic creature that had just appeared at the middle of the summoning circle instead of the King of Heroes. "This isn't happening...!" he finally could utter.
The collossal scaly aberration fixed its inhuman eyes on him, and then swoop down, its mouth hugely open. In a single gulp, it swallowed Tokiomi whole, to Risei's horrified shock and Kirei's quiet fascination. They could see the figure of their ally slowly descending, bulging into the monster's throat and then its stomach, as the fiend lazily slid around the room, settling itself for a nap after its meal...
... and then, just as slowly, its anchor to the World severed, it disappeared.
Risei only could keep on gawking in terror, but Kirei eventually gained enough presence of mind as to simply hum an enlightened, "But of course... What other kind of snake could have ever stolen anything from Gilgamesh, after all?"
You Got That Wrong!
Rider laughed arrogantly, striking a confident pose. "Remember my name by the death from my passing! Temeroso el Draque! I am the woman who set the sun! You rascals, it's time! The king of storms, a swarm of ghosts, this is the beginning of the Wild Hunt!"
And Archer blinked. "Temeroso el Draque?"
"Indeed!" she smiled, shaking some pink hair off her face. "That means Fearsome Drake, you foolish weakling! You--"
"Um, no," the Nameless Hero said. "In Spanish, the word for Fearsome is Temible. Temeroso means 'cowardly' or 'scaredy'..."
Rider stopped laughing. "... what. No, you're lying!"
"I'm not," Archer firmly said. "Wait, all this time, you've been calling yourself that? You're a pirate, didn't you ever have any Spanish speaking sailors to set you straight on the subject?"
"Um, actually, the Spaniards were the enemy, and I didn't confraternize with-- Masterrrrrrr!" she called back to Shinji. "He's got it wrong, doesn't he?! Temeroso is 'Fearsome', isn't it...?!"
Shinji gulped. "Ah, well, you'll see, the truth is--"
Rider tugged down on her hat until it covered most of her face, and Hakuno couldn't help but feeling a bit bad for her. "You're the worst, you knew it the whole time and you never said anything...! No wonder all Servants laughed at me...!"
"W-Well, but we still blew them up afterwards, so who laughed last, huh? Huh?!"
"You did, of course! You were laughing at me behind my back all those times, weren't you?!"
"What-What does that matter at all now?!" Shinji demanded. "Just blow them up already, too!"
By now, however, Archer had finally finished chanting Unlimited Blade Works and unleashed it on her, utterly destroying her.
Hakuno turned back to the camera. "And that is why you shouldn't ever give yourself names from the language of your enemies that you refuse to learn properly. Otherwise you will die killed by a field of blades."
Wise words we all should live by.
Law.
And then Shirou pointed at Gilgamesh with the sword. "There is no law that says a fake can't surpass the original!" he bravely shouted.
The King of Heroes paused. He blinked to himself for a couple of moments in contemplation, then reached into the Gate of Babylon and pulled a golden cellphone out.
"Hello? Hammurabi? Yes, I wanted to check... Did we ever get Law Number 8,681 edicted? No? Well, why the hell not, you miserable mongrel?! Ah-hah. Mm-hm. Very well. Fine. Goodbye then."
He flung the phone back and smirked arrogantly at Shirou. "Well, there is now!"
Yep, that sounds about right.
You should do one where Shirou summons The Tick. It'd be hilarious to see one blue-clad legendary hero lecture another that "Murder is not cool!"
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