My Little Carnival Phantasm Can't be This Cute!

[OverMaster]

Reality Ensues.

The peasants looked at the gigantic patch of scorched earth, burnt grass, shattered rock, and shredded rubble up the foggy city.

"Sooooo..." one of them asked the one standing by him, "What was all that about, anyway?"

His longtime friend shrugged. "Beats me. They wanted to build some sorta 'Clock Tower' complex, spanning several buildings lent by the King, see? I did some work there for them, there was a lot of digging and tunneling involved. But they all were so much of a buncha backstabbing, psychowhatcallits, smug paranoid freaks they turned against each other while discussing how would it go, and, well..."

"Ahhhh..."

They kept on looking at the smoking ruins, still stinking of the stench of the dead. "Them were witches, if y'all ask me," an old woman commented. "Good riddance t' bad rubbish."

Slowly, they began to scatter away as the King's men commanded them to go home, and life returned to normal.

[OverMaster]

Archer's True Identity.

Please don't ask which route this is, but Shirou, Saber, Rin, Archer, Shinji and Rider had just all pulled back from a violent three way battle at the park, each Servant silently flinching as they subtly nursed fresh, large wounds.

Well, Shirou, Saber, Rin, Archer and Rider were pulling back. Shinji had stood back the whole time. That had been mere strategic acumen and not cowardy, really, and he would prove so, by boldly standing behind Rider while pointing and saying, "Archer! Wait! Before this goes any further... listen to me!"

Shirou blinked. "Shinji? You still are here? I thought you had ran away!"

"I'm not talking to you, Emiya!" Shinji snapped.

"Well, actually--" Archer groaned, then shook his head. "Never mind. What do you want, then? Giving up already?"

"I have figured your identity out!" Shinji told him. "And that's why there's no reason for us to fight!"

"Oh, really?" Archer snorted, while Rin looked about to vomit all of a sudden, and Shirou, Rider and Saber only frowned in confusion.

Shinji smiled and nodded. "You are no famous, renowned hero in this era, that's for sure. Nothing about your attire or weapons, or even your fighting style, refers to any famous fighter from any particular legend. Yet you're obviously skilled, I'll give you that. And handsome."

Shirou blinked. "Shinji, are you trying to seduce Tohsaka's Servant?!"

"Well, I guess it's the best he could do by this point..." Rin snarked bitterly.

"I'm not!" Shinji stomped a foot down. "Archer, I've read on all there's available to learn about the Throne of Heroes. My family started the means to contact the damn place, after all! I know the leading theories are it's timeless, spanning past, present and future. That's why your legend isn't known to us; it hasn't been written yet! But it will, oh yes! You come from the future! And since Tohsaka is piss poor now and couldn't allow herself a catalyst, she must have summoned you through compatibility--"

"Spoken by the guy who lives in the Addams Family manor about to break down and covered in bugs!" Rin yelled at him. "When was the last time you could allow yourselves a decent exterminator?!"

Archer, meanwhile, was just scowling at this rambling idiot. Had he understimated him somehow?

Shinji kept on pointing at him, confidently. "And I've also learned use of several types of magic, mostly those allowing shortcuts to hardworking but otherwise... differently gifted types, may darken the sky and bleach the hair down! So, let's recap! Who is no doubt fated for a future of greatness, has a compatibility with Tohsaka, is a clever combat strategist, and is devastatingly good looking and cool?"

"Are you trying to tell us," a jaded Rin said, "Archer is me from the future?"

"Archer, you're clearly ME!" Shinji grinned. "You can drop the pretenses, Heroic Spirit MATOU! I know you have come here to witness my, nay, our triumph, and so now I welcome you as my ally, Handsome...!"

While Saber, Rin and Rider only blanched out in disgust, Archer blinked, clenched his teeth, looked as if brimming with untold white hot fury for several seconds, tightening the grip on his blades...

And then he began laughing hysterically, just at the same time as Shinji.

Shirou blinked, looking back and forth between them. "... wow. I suppose this explains why both of them hate me so much, then...!"

[OverMaster]

Fate Netorare Night.

"Bwa ha ha!" Illya laughed, sitting on the shoulders of her hulking Berserker. "Prepare yourself, Onii-chan! You and your ugly Servant will now be crushed by the powerful Lu Bu, General of Repetition!"

"Curses!" Shinji said. "Rider! Aim at the little troll, now!"

Drake grinned, turning her flintlocks at Illya's head. "Right between the eyes, Boss!"

"Shinji, no!" Shirou shouted. "Saber, do something!"

"Umu! Of course, Praetor!" the blonde charged ahead, her sword ready, only to be stopped when an austere man in a gray suit blocked her way, kicking her in the chin and back. "What felony--?!"

"Uh hu hu hu!" chuckled the rose haired Caster, stopping by her man's side. "I'll have your head yet, Saber! I have magically charged my dear husband, making him more than a match for your pathetic skills...!"

"Kuzuki-sensei!" Rin gasped. "Quick, Archer!" she turned to her Servant. "We'll have to ally ourselves with Emiya... again!"

"Geez, what a bother..." Robin Hood sighed, preparing his bow.

"Don't mind me, I'm just passing by, trying not to die, thank you," Elizabeth Bathory casually said, walking past them with her spear thrown over her shoulders.

Then the room's door flew open from the outside, and they all froze in place. Artoria, EMIYA, Cu Chulainn, Heracles, Medea, Hakuno, another Shinji, Rani VIII and Dan Blackmore all now stood tightly crowded at the doorstep, gaping and livid.

"How could you...!" Artoria finally said, outraged. "And you!" she turned on to Gilgamesh, who sat aside on a couch lazily caressing himself. "You were just watching...?!"

"This is the King's patrician fetish," Gilgamesh aloofly said, nose upturned.

Tamamo hiccuped a few times, then shook a fist high and screamed, "ASSASSIIIIIIIIIIN...! YOU HAD A JOB...!"

Outside, sitting at the gates, Li Shuwen and Sasaki Kojiro listened to the scream and shared a small smile, bumping fists. "Worth it," one of them said.

Julius grimly stood aside, hands in the pockets of his coat. "Someday, perhaps, I'll understand what the devil has transpired here..."

[OverMaster]

Servants who Never Should be Summoned.

Caster.

"Something's wrong," Kintoki observed, squinting behind his sunglasses as the light of the summon died down slowly. "It's way too small!"

Shuten, Ibaraki, Jack, Nursery Rhyme, Kid Gil, Alex and the Prisma trio just stared angrily at him, which completely flew over his head. Everyone else was too busy gasping at the newly revealed Servant striding confidently, yet with a somewhat tired gait to their step, towards them.

Medusa was the first to express her discomfort with a deep grimace, but almost everybody shared a feeling of revulsion. In the Rider's case, however, it was accentuated by how much this new Servant looked like a female Matou Zouken with long white hair. However, who was she supposed to be, Medusa could not say, but her ignorance on this subject did not last long, as soon Anastasia was supplying the answer with a half choking, disbelieving, "You! It couldn't possibly be you! And yet, from my people's tradition, your presence is unmistakable...!"

The hideous little Servant glanced disdainously at her, then nodded and spoke with a heavily accented tone. "Da. I'm Baba Yaga, Servant Caster. Which one of you younglings would call themselves my Master?"

"That..." Ritsuka began to say. "That would be me..."

Their eyes met, and he stepped ahead, towards her, seemingly mesmerized. "You..." he said, "You are so unlike every other female Servant I've ever met..."

"Yes, you can say that again!" Drake chuckled, nodding in amusement. "We'd never had someone this--"

"-- fascinating," Ritsuka breathed reverently, and knelt down to kiss Baba Yaga's haughtily offered, wrinkled hand.

Every other female Servant present shrieked in horror.

That day, Master's type was finally found out by all.

Only Mephistopheles found it to be terribly sweet, out of everyone.

[OverMaster]

Summer of Betrayal.

Then, she felt the tip of a gun pressed against the back of her head, and she cursed herself for her brash foolishness.

The voice behind her came throatily, huskily, almost needy, a warm breath caressing the skin of her neck. “Sayonara, Your Majesty. As your people would say… God save the King, long live the King.”

And the finger pressed the trigger, and the gun was shot.

And the white bikini-clad blonde shivered and closed her eyes at the cold spray showering her. Frowning, she turned back to see the all too happy Osakabehime, in her own pink and purple bikini, running away from her across the surf, breasts bouncing as she giddily chanted, waving her water rifle up, “I clipped King Arthur! I clipped King Arthur! I clipped King Arthur!”

“Make an Archer out of an Assassin,” Artoria grimly lectured herself, her own water gun tightly gripped in an angrily shaking hand, “and her heart will still remain that of someone who will shoot you in the back…”

---

I'm in a mind to write Artoria/Okki UST for some reason. I might write more of these.

[OverMaster]

Don’t You Head There.

King Hassan marched down the halls of Chaldea. Salome hung shortly behind him.

“Shall you take a head?” she hopefully asked him.

“Not yet,” he dryly answered.

---

King Hassan took a bath, quietly sunk to his neck into the baths pools of Chaldea.

Salome popped up behind him, wearing only a wrapped towel. “Shall you take a head?” she asked.

“Not yet…”

---

King Hassan sat on the toilet, reading a newspaper with the headlines, YET ANOTHER LOSTBELT DIES, CHALDEA RAT-BASTARDS RESPONSIBLE.

Salome peeked over the toilet stall. ”Shall you take a head…?”

“NOT YET!”

---

“… I don’t understand, however,” Ozymandias confessed. “Why don’t you just take her head then?”

King Hassan threw his hands up in frustration. “It’s not a punishment if she’s into it!”

[naschyamamoto]

Lol, how troublesome.

[OverMaster]

Servant.

The front door was pushed open from the inside, so sudden and strongly that the young red haired man lost his balance and stumbled back, falling on his butt and hands right on the doorstep, just as someone stepped out, squinting under the bright morning light.

He looked up at her, this short, beautiful, slim young woman of green eyes and perfectly blonde hair, pulled back into a bun, a stray lock protuding from the top of her scalp and almost twitching as she looked down at him. She wore a simple white blouse with a long, dark blue skirt and tall socks, and seemed to carry herself with a nearly aloof, distant quality to her understated motions, matching what she finally said after a moment of standing over him.

"I'm Artoria Pendragon," she spoke, with a dignified, soft yet clear and strong voice. "I ask of you, are you my servant?"

"Ah... yes, I am!" Shirou nodded quickly, pulling himself back up and bowing. "The temp agency sent me, pleased to meet you, ma'am..."

She still regarded him oddly for another moment before turning around and walking back inside. "Sir," she corrected him, her tone still detached and almost absent. "That's my title. Close the door behind you, if you would please."

He nodded, picking his heavy bag up and slinging it back over his shoulder, following her into the palatial residence and pulling the heavy door closed after himself. He looked around, silently marveling at the sheer size and majesty of the place, large enough to make even his father's house look humble. It was decorated like the home of an old lord, with rich portraits and neatly aligned suits of knight armor arrayed along the walls. Expensive carpets covered the floor, and at a corner, a massive piano rested next to a huge set of library stands, filled with all manners of tomes.

However, as his gaze traveled over the priceless furniture, he could notice the thick layers of dust and winced inwardly, already itching a little. The young woman reached a chair almost too large for her and sat back, like a king on his throne, subtly motioning at him to do the same in a smaller nearby chair facing her. When he did so, she told him, "I had... certain disagreements with my former staff recently, so they have left. In the face of such an event, I decided downsizing for the time being, so it will be a time before I decide on adding any further domestic workers. But I assume the agency already has informed you of that."

"Yes," he said very seriously. "That's fine with me. I have experience with looking after large buildings on my own."

"This is no mere large building," she said, gesturing towards the seal of arms hanging above her seat. "The House of Pendragon is the most respected in this city, and as its last representative, I must recover this mansion's former glory on the budget my father has left for me. Please be patient on this regard, as I'm just starting to take over the family business, so I will ask of you to attend to many with, I'm afraid, little in the way of help. Do you still want to take this post?"

"If you'll allow me," Emiya Shirou answered. "Your family's fame has reached even Fuyuki, Sir, I--"

"You can call me Artoria while in private if you wish so," she magnanimously said. "Just remember, I'm not to be called a 'ma'am' or 'mistress'. My role is that of a Lord and I must be addressed as such before rivals, allies and subordinates alike."

"I understand..." Shirou said.

"Well then. Your duties as a butler will include general housekeeping, gardening, and nominally helping protect this residence in the event of intrusions or attacks. I prefer to drive myself, so I will not be needing your services as a chaffeur. Are you good at the kitchen? I made it clear I need someone proficient at cooking."

"I've been told I'm able at it, Sir," he replied.

"Hm," she regarded him again. "You're younger than I was expecting." This, despite how she clearly was at least a solid two years younger than him, only a teenager. "There are other things you must know about me before you start working here. I will always speak my mind. Whenever I'm displeased I won't hesitate to make it known. I demand nothing but the best from those under my service, and I despise both insubordination and laziness in a man. At the same time, I'd like to believe I'm fair at my dealings with others, and if you ever think I am being irrational, I will know, so you would do well to be as upfront to me as I would be to you."

"I see..."

"You haven't worked for others in these circles before, have you?" she correctly guessed. She stood from the chair and led him to a large window, through which she gestured towards a gigantic castle on a nearby mountain. "Those are the domains of my greatest rival for this city's politics, the Golden Duke of Uruk. He is a sharp, cruel man, and to keep up with him I must be sharp and cruel myself. No doubt you will come to think I am inhuman and foolish in my ways. You will have to get used to that manner of being if you intend to succeed at this line of work. Otherwise, you should go back to a simpler life amongst more pleasant people. Ours is a world that wrings the life out of those who are without care, and many who are with it."

"I'm... thankful for your concern, Sir Artoria," he thoughtfully replied. "But this is the path I've set for myself. I've always known of the prices and risks."

"No. No, not yet," she said, looking back at him. "You wish to be a Knight, don't you? I can tell. I have seen that drive in the eyes of young men before."

"I want to be a hero of justice," he said, already taking her advice and being honest no matter what.

She, unlike almost everyone he'd ever met before but his father, did not react with bemusement or sheer contempt at that confession. She only looked at him with a strange mixture of pity and care, before adding, "I once had that dream as well. I do hope it works better for you than it did for me. I accept you, then, as my servant."

And she placed her hand on his head.

The intended dramatic effect was dulled by how high she had to reach up to do that, so he promptly fell to a knee before her.

[OverMaster]

Parent and Child.

"I think," EMIYA said with unusual outright honesty, "that you and Morded should settle your differences already."

"I'm afraid that would wreck too much havoc among the facilities," Artoria said, "as our final battle would invariably bring too much property damage and alter the working conditions her--"

"I don't mean it that way!" the Archer interrupted her. "You're still parent and child! I don't think you truly understand the value of those bonds, and not that I can't understand your reasons, but--!"

"Oh, are you talking on how I never met my birth father, and how my father by adoption raised me motherless and as his son's page?" she interrupted him in turn. "Nothing of that has any influence on how I treat Mordred."

"You don't treat her at all! That's the problem! Do you know how many of those here would give anything to be reunited with their lost children, even those who had problems with them?"

"Frankly, I must say you are too much of, how do they call it now, a Papa's boy, Shirou," she bluntly said. "Each of us must sever the umbilical cord from those who brought us into being and search for our own path sooner or later. Personally, I believe the nature of those links has been romanticized far too much, and folly on those who-- um." Looking back in the direction of the killer intent she'd just felt, she found herself facing the next table, from where Ozymandias, Marie, Mata Hari, Boudica, Caesar and Cleopatra all stared murderously at her. "Perhaps I have overlooked others' own circumstances a fair bit, but--"

---

"-- so, I won't say it was your fault, but it definitely was," Artoria told Mordred, who stood by her medical bay bed along Nightingale and EMIYA.

"You haven't learned anything!" Shirou growled.

- - - Updated - - -

Trademarks.

"Okay, how about this," Gudako said. "We summon Superman, but we make him put a different costume on and call himself Hyperman now. Can we have Superman then?"

Da Vinci frowned. "For the last time, no. Chaldea's only legally allowed to summon public domain characters to save all of human history. All copyrighted Servants to get summoned must get burned off immediately!"

"Damn it! I really really wanted a Superman!" Gudako shouted. "Good thing all our enemies obey that rule too, at least!"

"Not even us could go against lawyers," BB noted, and Kiara, Jeanne Alter and Consort Yu all nodded somberly.

[naschyamamoto]

Saber, your obstinance is starting to surpass "funny" and lean into "sad" for me. It made me laugh, but at the same time part of me really wants Mordred to get the love and respect she's always wanted.

Imagining a world where BB and/or Kiara had free reign beyond the public domain is the real nightmare.

[ChaldeaFellow]

The Other Dragon who hated Artoria

"Berserker...I am the Will of Britain. He who will bring ruin to that King's land..." Said Berserker as Gudao looked at the large being he had summoned. Wearing a full body armor in black, shaped like a dragon's own scales with horns on the top of the helmet. The helmet featuring black "fangs" around the mouthpiece as bright red eyes looked through holes that looked carved out rather than a natural design. He held onto a great sword with a black made up of black metal. A long torn grey cape attached to the black armor as he stares at the Last Master.

"Um...hello. Do you actually have a name? You know, your real name?" Gudao asks as the knight growls at him.

"Fool...I have discarded that name a long time ago. If anything, I wanted to destroy the coming wave of the Age of Man from Britain, yet the "son" of my brother Uther stopped me..." The knight stopped himself as he let out a chuckle.

"The fool. Now human civilization is gone in a snap. The Age of Man ends and yet you call upon me? Why?" The Knight states as Gudao just looks up at the knight. Trying his best to stay calm in front of Artoria's greatest threat besides Morgan Le Fay.

"I...I work for Organization for the Preservation of Human Order, Finis Chaldea. You are going to...help me restore human history." Gudao said as the Will of Britain glared at him.

"What?"

-- X --

The knight grunts and mumbles to himself. To think he was summoned to help restore human civilization, this was a clear mockery of what he wanted in life. To even see that history would return to Uther's "son" ruling a doomed kingdom. He begins to think how did the Throne of Heroes got the brilliant idea to send him, the guy who hates humanity progressing, to help this Master restore history to its proper course. As he looked ahead of the door that opened itself, he walked into the cafeteria.

"And so, that is how I pranked Gawain alongside Robin Hood." Came the voice of Mordred as she smiles, her "father" sitting across from her still trying to get used to being around her. Not bothering to look as she was focused on actually bonding with her "son," she didn't notice a breath of flame fire at her as Mordred got out and moved quickly. Forcing Artoria away from the breath of fire as Mordred took the blast. Artoria quickly got up as she looked up...to see her uncle right before her.

The same black armor, sword and ragged cape as he glared at Mordred briefly before turning his head at Artoria. Having the same hate-filled glare that he shared with her back at the Citadel all those years ago.

"So...look who's here. My foolish brother's "son" and...hm...prehaps your cousin. Maybe a lost twin-sister." The Will of Britain said as Mordred stomps her feet together.

"The hell!? I am Mordred Pendragon, I am her son, are you-" Mordred didn't finish what she said as the Will of Britain took his right hand and bitch-slapped Mordred. Causing her to fly into a wall as other Servants and Gudao ran in.

"Son? To think YOU would have a "son"...how amusing. Now...I believe we have a score to settle..." The Will of Britain said, a tone of mockery in the last part of his sentence as Artoria turns to glare at Gudao. The boy's face paling as Gawain sighs.

"Out of all the Servants, master. You had to summon mister Will of Britain himself..."

[OverMaster]

276.

"Ah, ha ha!" Leonidas laughed, patting Shonagon Sei's shoulder. "Welcome to Chaldea! Your arrival is a happy omen! We only need two other dozens of us now!"

"Ahhh... What for, good sir?" the writer asked curiously.

"Why, once there's 300 of us, we shall go on a glorious doomed charge against the enemy, dying together in a blaze of glory, and then dine together in Hades!"

Sei's eyes shrank down to dots. "... ah?!"

---

"So why are you still alive after that, then?" Gengis Khan asked her.

Sei rolled her eyes back. "Because he needed a sole survivor who would be a great orator and narrator to tell the tale, of course. Didn't you ever watch the end of that movie?"

[OverMaster]

The Secret, Revealed!

"Hey, hey, Qin-sama!" Osakabehime cheerfully said, walking into the room with wild happy abandon, a sketchpad in her hands, and all the lack of care for others' privacy one obsessed with fortifying their own room shouldn't have. "I have a few filler pages to do for my doujin, what if you pose for some pin... ups..."

Qin Liangyu had frozen from where, sitting on her bed, she'd just been applying black spray paint all over her crotch and toned legs. She stared on in shock at the intruder.

Osakabehime stared back and finally picked her loose jaw back up. "Oh. Oh, so that's how you could fit in those all this time, huh! Actually makes me feel better about myself, in a--"

She was then promptly punted out of the room.

[OverMaster]

Servants who Never Should be Summoned.

---

Berserker.

The woman with long black hair who had just appeared before Ritsuka sneered. She was wearing short shorts, worn down boots, and a small, tight black top. She also had an intricate tribal design tattooed all over her upper right arm.

"How do you, punk," she lazily waved at him. "My name's Revy and, huh, I think I am a 'Servant'... of the Berserker class... What the shit," she paused, an eyebrow jerking. She pulled two handguns out of the holsters at her hips and began shooting around maniacally, forcing Ritsuka to duck for cover. "THE HELL I'M A FUCKIN' BERSERKER?! AM I SOME KINDA LUNATIC NOW OR WHAT?! I SHOULD BE A MOTHERFUCKING ARCHER! HELL, I'D TAKE EVEN ASSASSIN! BERSERKER?! BRING ME THE SHITTY ASSHOLE WHO THOUGHT I SHOULD BE A STINKING BERSERKER, I'M NOT MAD BUT IN PERFECT CONTROL OF MYSELF...!"

She ended up rooming with Nobunaga. Nothing good turned out of it.

[OverMaster]

Dead Baby Comedy.

"-- and that's why it's so small," Ereshkigal finished, pointing at the skull ornament in her collar. "I told you, you shouldn't have asked!"

"And I should have listened," a fairly pale and rattled Ritsuka agreed.

[OverMaster]

The Ring of the Nitwitbelungs.

The powerful, intense music drew her to the entertainment room as she passed by it.

Feeling the stirring within herself, the Lancer looked in, only to find one of the Assassins and one of the Sabers alone there, watching the television with their backs to her.

Brynhildr came closer. "What..." she asked the Assassin, but her eyes were only for the screen now. "What manner of epic is this..."

Jack looked back, blinking. "Oh, this? We are only watching cartoons."

Brynhildr listened on, with bated breath, at this armored warrior summoning the fury of the elements, valiantly bellowing. "I'll kill the wabbit! Awise, storm! North wind, bwow! South wind, bwow! Huwwicanes! Typhoons! Earthquakes! SMOOOOG!"

The Lancer sighed deeply, folding her hands together under her chin. "That... He is so... beautiful!"

Jack blinked. "Huh?"

The Saber just huffed, looking at the death scene of the rabbit. "Good riddance, I say," Mordred mumbled. "Bastard reminds me too much of that stupid giggling jester at Father's court..."

[OverMaster]

Fun with Hessian and Lobo.

One:

So they'd finally summoned Remus.

"Ah, Romulus, Remus, there you are," Ritsuka said, standing on the room's doorstep. "I was looking for you, we need to-- OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THAT'S A MALE WOLF!"

Standing at the other corner of the room with a camcorder in his hands, the Headless Horseman just shrugged at the Master.

"Romans are bad civilization," the impassive Altera said, walking by behind Ritsuka, down the hallway.

---

Two:

"You lost track of him?" Ritsuka asked. "How could you even lose track of him, you're both the same Servant! This never happens to Anne and Mary!"

"Ooooo," Lobo growled.

"He honestly has no idea," Enkidu quietly translated as the three made their way across the Singularity. "He just took his eyes off Hessian for a moment, and then he was gone."

"Oh, for the love of...!"

They finally found the Headless Horseman, in a wide yet small valley, riding Kijyo Kojo's dinosaur form around, in circles all over the grass.

Lobo sat back, open mouthed, and then howled an indignant "WHOOOOOOOOO!"

Hessian panicked, and began to make frantic hand motions while still on top of the Berserker.

"It's not what it looks like!" Enkidu translated, tone flat despite the urgency of the words themselves. "I can explain everything, I swear!"

Ritsuka facepalmed. "For the days back when I had a therapist at hand!" he complained.

[naschyamamoto]

I mean, I don't blame Headless Horseman. If I had a chance to ride a dinosaur I'd go for it too!

[OverMaster]

Mightier than the Excalibur.

"What are you doing?" Artoria asked, looking over his shoulder.

Shirou sighed, tapping on the paper with his pen. "I'm writing a book. I've decided that, if I'm going to be a Hero of Justice, just going out and hitting people with swords won't suffice. I want Dad's ideals to live on, and I need spreading them for the generations to come. So they can make their own minds up about the nature of Justice."

She stared at the blank page. "You haven't written anything yet."

"No, no, I wrote the first five chapters of fifteen already, but now I'm stuck. I mean, I know where I want to go, and what I want to do, but suddenly I lost step of how to do it, and it's really frustrating..."

"I'm sure it is," Artoria said, pausing to throw a discreet glance my way. It was over as soon as she was telling Shirou, "This book of yours, it is a manifesto of sociopolitical intentions, isn't it? Do you have a title for it yet?"

"Actually--"

"A good, solid title is the most important part of a book," she lectured. "It is what will hook your readers and pull them into your concepts. Work from your title, and everything should flow from it naturally."

"Have you ever written a book?"

"I once planned writing one," she reminisced. "It was to be an exploration of my ideals as a leader, a declaration of principles for the eras, my big legacy for posterity..."

"And what was going to be the title?"

"My Fight."

"..." Shirou said.

"What?" Artoria asked. "Has it been used already?"

[OverMaster]

Clipshow Episode.

Mephisto nodded. "How about another joke, BB? What do you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a Moon Cell that abandons him and treats him like trash?"

"You aren't actually mentally ill, though," she pointed out.

"Not the point!" he said, pulling out a ridiculously small handgun with a ridiculously large barrel. "You get what you fucking deserve!"

And he shot her through the head while Kiara shrieked and ran for cover.

---

"-- so, if I had to pick just one I'd say that's the worst show I've ever had to do," BB said, pulling some of her hair up and sticking a finger into the hole on her scalp. "Does that answer your question, Master?"

"... I guess it does," Ritsuka meekly said.