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Thread: Secret Santa Contest (2016) Voting and Judging

  1. #21
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    I can finally offer comments a bit more detailed on the fics!

    My favourite ones:

    "Paradox Eclipse" - Very well-written. The prose, the dialogue, the characterisation, everything was very enjoyable. I especially liked how the narrator's inner voice really sounded like both Araya and Tohno. My favourite fic in this contest, overall.

    "At the End of Duty" - This was my prompt, and I'm very pleased with my gift! I especially liked the ending and how the entire narrative slowly built up to it. If I may be slightly ungrateful, though, I wish Mordred had more of a participation here. I didn't expect or want fight scenes, really, but I was interested in seeing more of Mordred's thoughts and feelings as well. Like I said, though, I'm very pleased with my gift, so thanks. :-)

    "Prodigal Son / Oedipus Rex / Sins of the Fathers / Welcome Hell" - I feel this fic really captured how inhuman Nasuverse magi can be, both on a personal level, with Marius' struggle against the family legacy, and on a larger level, with the attack on the Eulyphis residence. That said, I thought Necromancy - at least as practiced by Kairi - was a different field than Spiritual Evocation?

    The others:

    "Where the Circle Ends" - Another very well-written fic, especially in terms of character voices. The only reason I didn't rate it higher is because the other three resonated more with my preferences. I do have a nitpick, though: if Roa reincarnates into himself in the past with all his current memories and makes use of them, wouldn't that change the way things happened and also cause a paradox?

    "Wanderers" - The fic's climax, so to speak, wasn't my cup of tea, but the story itself was good. My only criticism is that Ilya didn't feel like Ilya; she seemed a bit too loose, too informal.

    "Untitled 1" - Sweet, but unfortunately, very short. I feel like this could have been expanded at least a bit further.

    "Untitled 2" - This one, on the other hand, feels like it ends at the right moment, even if it's noted as being incomplete. I only wish the writing was a bit meatier, though; it relies too much on dialogue and doesn't set the scene enough, in my opinion.

    "BAD FIC: No Beta Readers, We Die Like Men" - Heh. Funny, and I have to agree with others: this was definitely the best title in this contest.

    "Sakura for All Seasons" - Very funny at times, endearing at others. The writing could use some cleaning up, though. I also don't know why this was classified as a lemon?

    "Starship Girl" - A fun read, but sometimes it felt a bit meandering. I imagine it's because of the format: I imagine that if it could be expanded to a more proper length, it wouldn't feel like that to me.

    "No One's Hero Here" - I liked it, but I have two comments. The first is that Shirou's characterisation felt a bit off. Some of it can be attributed to his traumatic experiences in the War, as I'm sure was intended, but it feels really weird for him to not display affection toward Taiga (it's not for nothing he always calls her "Fuji-nee" in the VN, after all). The second is that the beginning and the middle could probably be streamlined a bit; it seems like Shirou, Rin and Taiga's issues are going to be the main story, when in reality it's all leading up to Shirou saying goodbye to Kiritsugu.

    "The Winter Woes of the Backalley Alliance" - Much like I said about "Untitled 2", I think it relies too much on dialogue and doesn't set the scene enough, in my opinion. Perhaps some streamlining would also be in order, something like combining both visits to the Tohno mansion into a single scene?

    "Part-time Heroes" - Much like I said about "Starship Girl", it feels a bit meandering. Its strongest point is Hector's internal narration, I'd say, so I'd have preferred something focused almost entirely on that - though I imagine it would be hard to do that and still fulfill the prompt.

    "Split Conscience" - Short and sweet. It doesn't really need a conclusion, but it's a shame it doesn't have one.

    "Untitled 3" - I liked it, but I feel the premise could have used some work. For instance, why do Caster and Kuzuki attack Taiga? I thought at first they were going to kidnap her, but then they just leave her there for dead. The whole "superpowered Taiga" thing also felt very random, though I suppose that was a Jaguar Man reference?

    "Quiet Lives" - Again, short and sweet. Nothing else to add this time, though.

  2. #22
    ぐぬぬ Kirby's Avatar
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    Voting's now closed. If you'd like to review, you may still do so here, but votes are now closed and being tallied.
    [21:58 PM] <Spinach> I wish Kirby was real


    Linger: Complete. August, 1995. I met him. A branch off Part 3. Mikiya keeps his promise to meet Azaka, and meets again with that mysterious girl he once found in the rain.
    Shinkai: Set in the Edo period. DHO-centric. As mysterious figures gather in the city, a young woman unearths the dark secrets of the Asakami family.
    The Dollkeeper: A Fate side-story. The memoirs of the last tuner of the Einzberns. A record of the end of a family.
    Overcount 2030: Extra x Notes. A girl with no memories is found by a nameless soldier, and wakes up to a world of war.

  3. #23
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Siriel's Avatar
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    I'll probably review later once I've had the time to read everything, but for now...

    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    "At the End of Duty" - This was my prompt, and I'm very pleased with my gift! I especially liked the ending and how the entire narrative slowly built up to it. If I may be slightly ungrateful, though, I wish Mordred had more of a participation here. I didn't expect or want fight scenes, really, but I was interested in seeing more of Mordred's thoughts and feelings as well. Like I said, though, I'm very pleased with my gift, so thanks. :-)
    Canon already showed the scene from Mordred's POV, so I figured Artoria was what the prompt wanted. Apologies if that wasn't the case.
    Ragnarok, come day of wrath
    That fallen souls might bear our plea.
    To hasten the Divine's return.
    O piteous Wanderer.

  4. #24
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siriel View Post
    Canon already showed the scene from Mordred's POV, so I figured Artoria was what the prompt wanted. Apologies if that wasn't the case.
    Oh, d'oh, I hadn't considered that! It's going to show up in "Apocrypha", I imagine? In that case, I'll retract my ingratitude. :-)
    Last edited by SpoonyViking; January 4th, 2017 at 01:57 PM.

  5. #25
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Siriel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    Oh, d'oh, I hadn't considered that! It's going to show up in "Apocrypha", I imagine? In that case, I'll retract my ingratitude. :-)
    Assuming the adaptation covers the dreams yes, it'll show up in Apocrypha.
    Ragnarok, come day of wrath
    That fallen souls might bear our plea.
    To hasten the Divine's return.
    O piteous Wanderer.

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