Outrageous Journalism the forum game

[Apple]

Write the most sensationalist headline you can about the subject matter.

Sensationalist in the sense of evoking a disproportionately strong emotional reaction/judgment compared to the subject matter.

The subject matter is either
1) one of the poster above you's recent actions/posts
2) scenario given by the poster above you

Feel free to reframe it as ridiculously as you want, humor is not imperative but gets bonus points

This is all for fun and games, don't get too triggered or if you know you will, put out current news a la example 2)

Example:

Subject: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/enriq...ssforever.html

Headline:
41 year old man sings about necrophilia for 4 minutes

[eddyak]

SINGER REVEALS POP HIT IS ABOUT UNDERAGE NECROPHILIA

I've always thought the "baby" thing was at least a bit creepy.