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Thread: What TYPE-MOON Characters Would Never Say REDUX

  1. January 10th, 2017, 06:00 AM #1
    The Geek
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    What TYPE-MOON Characters Would Never Say REDUX

    Since the old thread is dead and buried deep in the depths of the forum, let's create a new thread. It's the same basic premise: just post jokes about different characters based around things that they would never say.

    To start us off.

    Lancelot: Welcome back, Galahad.
    Matthew: I'm not Galahad
    Galahad (in Matthew's head): Technically, you kind of are.
    Matthew: Shut up, Galahad.

    ------------

    Scathach: And you can all call me Auntie Scathach!

    --------------

    Shirou: You know, I once thought the vernacular was a sex organ.
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  2. January 10th, 2017, 06:30 AM #2
    hayate
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    Scathach: I'm old and I'm proud! You can call me grandma!!!

    Mashu: What's with these clothes, Galahad? Are you a female?

    Shiki: Let us all meditate and be free of any sin. Female Vampire, how can I be of service?

    Arcueid: This whole place blows.
    Last edited by hayate; January 10th, 2017 at 06:32 AM.
    Not dealing with it...

    Why even try?


    This is golden...
    Quote Originally Posted by Altaris View Post
    Lol Ishtarin went full Aqua
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    I've seen people in this forum spend the GDP of a third world country into Grand Order
    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    Yeah, there's a saying that you should strive for perfection knowing full well you won't achieve it. Saber looked at it and said "Hold my Beer"
    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    And then all her friends resented her for it.
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  3. January 17th, 2017, 07:13 AM #3
    Walnut Sparks
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    Zero Berserker ARRRTHURRR... GIVE ME A HUGGG...
    O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed you have not already collapsed in ruin.
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  4. January 17th, 2017, 07:50 AM #4
    Iceblade44
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    Mordred: i love my father

    Gil: the whole world is my friend.

    Siegfred: I have no regrets

    Jalter: I think Jeanne is cool

    Edmond: i'm edgy as f*ck!
    "Only in my company, will you not be a monster"


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  5. January 17th, 2017, 07:52 AM #5
    Alternative Ice
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    Caster Cu: The Lancer class sucks.
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  6. January 17th, 2017, 08:55 PM #6
    hayate
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iceblade44 View Post
    Gil: the whole world is my friend.
    Pretty sure that's Gil on CCC.

    Nitocris: BOW DOWN BEFORE ME, OZYMANDIAS!
    Not dealing with it...

    Why even try?


    This is golden...
    Quote Originally Posted by Altaris View Post
    Lol Ishtarin went full Aqua
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    I've seen people in this forum spend the GDP of a third world country into Grand Order
    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    Yeah, there's a saying that you should strive for perfection knowing full well you won't achieve it. Saber looked at it and said "Hold my Beer"
    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    And then all her friends resented her for it.
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  7. January 20th, 2017, 04:43 AM #7
    The Geek
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    Mordred: "You... you scratched my armor. That was a gift from my father."

    Matthew: "I'm sorry, I'm sure your father was a great-"

    Mordred: "I hated my father."

    Matthew: "Oh, then I'm sure your father was a prick."

    Mordred: "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY FATHER!"
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  8. January 20th, 2017, 04:49 AM #8
    hayate
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    Shirou: Hashtag YOLO!!!

    Rin: Seriously, Instagram site is here. You really came from the past.

    Archer: Can't help it though. What's a computer anyway?
    Not dealing with it...

    Why even try?


    This is golden...
    Quote Originally Posted by Altaris View Post
    Lol Ishtarin went full Aqua
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    I've seen people in this forum spend the GDP of a third world country into Grand Order
    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    Yeah, there's a saying that you should strive for perfection knowing full well you won't achieve it. Saber looked at it and said "Hold my Beer"
    Quote Originally Posted by forumghost View Post
    And then all her friends resented her for it.
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  9. January 21st, 2017, 07:58 PM #9
    RoydGolden
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Geek View Post
    Mordred: "You... you scratched my armor. That was a gift from my father."

    Matthew: "I'm sorry, I'm sure your father was a great-"

    Mordred: "I hated my father."

    Matthew: "Oh, then I'm sure your father was a prick."

    Mordred: "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY FATHER!"
    See, the thing is I can pretty much imagine her actually saying that.

    - - - Updated - - -

    As for my own suggestions on what TM characters would never say...

    Shirou: "Have you ever read the complete works of Ayn Rand? Totally changed my worldview. Altruism sucks and capitalism for the win!"

    Shinji: "Why hello there, Sakura. What may I do for you on this fine day? I've already cooked you breakfast, made your bed and prepared a bath, but if there's anything else my beloved sister desires then I shall gladly attend to that as well. Did I mention how much I love you (in a totally acceptable platonic way, of course) and am totally not at all psychotically jealous of you?" (Imagine him wearing a butler's outfit while saying this for extra OOC-ness)

    Sakura: "Do you what my absolute favorite animal is? Worms. Aren't they just adorable?"
    View my newest handy-dandy compendium of Servant sheets here. Now in blog form!

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  10. January 22nd, 2017, 10:38 PM #10
    The Geek
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    Medb: "Sex before marriage is bad and you should feel bad."

    --------------

    EMIYA: "I love my job."
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  11. January 23rd, 2017, 01:01 AM #11
    Iceblade44
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    Iskandar: fighting is bad and horrible. I like to spend my time solving complicated knots.

    Mozart: this is a grand sanctuary of the arts, anything profane is forbidden here. If i see you spiting out a dirty joke i will tear you alive.

    Marie: give them cake.
    "Only in my company, will you not be a monster"


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  12. January 26th, 2017, 05:02 AM #12
    The Geek
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    *While Rider is using her Noble Phantasm*

    Shirou: "Tell her to eat shit, Saber."
    Saber: "Tell her yourself!"
    Shirou: "EAT SHIT, ASSHOLE! FALL OFF YOUR HORSE!"

    -----------------

    Gilgamesh: "I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away!"
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  13. January 26th, 2017, 08:53 AM #13
    Tohno
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  14. January 28th, 2017, 08:06 PM #14
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    Shirou: ''I'm tired of cooking, let's order pizza.''
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  15. January 29th, 2017, 06:13 AM #15
    Walnut Sparks
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    Shirou What, do you think I'm running a bed and breakfast here? Get lost.
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  16. January 29th, 2017, 10:33 AM #16
    Mcjon01
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  17. January 29th, 2017, 01:35 PM #17
    Iceblade44
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    Shinji: my dream is to become a Hero of Justice.
    "Only in my company, will you not be a monster"


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  18. January 30th, 2017, 03:58 AM #18
    Five_X
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mcjon01 View Post
    Alice, Aoko, & Soujuurou: "Congratulations on completing Mahoyo 2!"
    I'm in pain.
    <NEW FIC!> Revolution #9: Somewhere out there, there's a universe in which your mistakes and failures never happened, and all you wished for is true. How hard would you fight to make that real?

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  19. January 30th, 2017, 04:08 AM #19
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  20. February 8th, 2017, 05:21 AM #20
    Bird of Hermes
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